I’m all too willing to break the semi-ban on LohitneyParis stories with the latest news that Lohan was nabbed for DUI again. 45 days in rehab, a voluntary alcohol-detecting ankle bracelet, and all the cash, friends, and help at her disposal and stupid Lohan couldn’t be bothered to have someone else drive for her.

Lohan failed the “walk the line” test according to TMZ after her car was pulled over for chasing a white Escalade at 2:15 AM in Santa Monica. TMZ reports on Lohan’s blood alcohol level and and says she refused to submitted to a breathalyzer. One article says “Sources say her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal limit.” while another says she couldn’t walk a straight line and refused a PSAD, or Preliminary Alcohol Screening Device test. The PSAD is a breathalyzer, so it sounds like she refused a breathalyzer, wasn’t able to walk a straight line, and was hauled off to jail, where she was forced to take a blood test. Let me know if you’re more familiar with the way this process works.

She was said to be cooperative in jail, and was released on $25,000 bail.

The SCRAM people, who monitor Lohan’s ankle bracelet which is supposed to detect alcohol vapors from the skin, say they didn’t even know she was arrested. We don’t actually know if she took a breathalyzer or not. If she refused to submit to one, it suggests she had something to hide. Did she not hook the SCRAM thing up? Did she buy another one, put in her closet, and have the SCRAM people monitor that one?

Not only is she drinking and/or drugging, she’s driving under the influence. How stupid and arrogant can you be? If Lohan’s career wasn’t doomed before, it surely is now.

Update: Thanks to Sycko for pointing out that she was also charged with cocaine possession. The coke was found in her pants pocket when she was booked at jail.

Lohan’s mugshot above thanks to TMZ.

On Saturday rapper Remy Ma (nee Remy Smith) was arrested for trying to kill Makeda Barnes-Joseph, 23, a friend of hers, outside a club called Pizza Bar in the Meatpacking District in Manhattan. Early Saturday morning police received a call reporting gunshots in the area. There they discovered Barnes-Joseph with a gunshot wound. Police also found a black Cadillac Escalade registered to Remy Ma which had been in an accident and had been abandoned a few blocks away. Barnes-Joseph is currently is stable condition.

Remy, accompanied by her attorney Scott Leemon, turned herself into police late Saturday evening, where she was also booked on charges of assault and criminal possession of a weapon. Leemon said, “I ask everyone to keep an open mind…Things are not always as they seem.”

“Sasha Tcherekoff, owner of the Pizza Bar, said a review of security videotape taken inside his nightspot showed the rapper and her friends having a good time before they exited.

“The police have indicated to us that the altercation happened a block away,” the owner said. “The security tapes determined there was no physical or verbal altercation while they were in the Pizza Bar.”

[From the Washington Post]

According to The New York Times Remy Ma and Makeda Barnes-Joseph were at Pizza Bar to attend the birthday party of a friend, rapper Krys-Style. Apparently $3,000 was missing from Remy’s purse, which led to the argument.

“When the group left the restaurant, Ms. Barnes-Joseph got into her Maxima — it was not clear whether she was alone — and Ms. Smith got into the Escalade S.U.V. The police believe the attacker left the Escalade, got into the Maxima, shot Ms. Barnes-Joseph and then raced back to the Escalade. The S.U.V. was believed to have crashed into another car at West 14th Street and 10th Avenue before being abandoned two blocks south at Little West 12th Street with its air bags deployed. Investigators said it was not known how many people had been inside.”

[From The New York Times]

Apparently the victim’s Nissan was still on the street hours after the shooting. The driver’s door was open and blood was visible to onlookers. They could also see a gold stiletto pump and a black bra inside. The New York Times also reported that Remy Ma was “a protégée of the Bronx rapper Big Pun, and after his death in 2000 she continued rapping with Fat Joe and Terror Squad.” Remy told police, “’At the end of the day, I’m a girl…It’s not like I roll up and shoot up everybody.’”

I’m putting Remy Ma on my list of ladies not to mess with. So right now we’re at Foxy Brown (if she’s packing any manicuring instruments), Little Kim (if any of her crew are around, although it’s good to know she’ll perjure herself for you if you shoot someone on her behalf) and Eve (on a bender). Man, it’s like I’m going to have to live in a cave or something.

Pictures are of Remy Ma being led away from the 6th precinct in Greenwich Village after her arrest. Photos and photo description from WENN.

or perhaps … Stereopeein’ in public

Proving that even rock singers better watch it gettin’ lippy with the fuzz (well bobbies, or actually coppers) Kelly Jones from Stereophonics has been ticketed and warned for that ultimate weekend warrior sin: public urination

Kelly had been on a night out with friends in Camden on Tuesday when he felt nature call. A source told the Sun: “He was relieving himself in the middle of the street outside the Barfly venue when a couple of passing coppers spotted him.”
Kelly himself added: “I said to the copper, ‘You telling me you never had a piss in the street?’ He said that the people of Camden wouldn’t appreciate me urinating on their streets. I said, ‘I know that. That’s why I live in Fulham.’ He said, ‘I’m taking you in.’”

Sounds like they oughtta have taken him in for doing a bad Bugsy Malone imitation as well: ” You’ll never take me alive coppers … not you and your whole flatfoot crew … Now go jerk yourself a soda copper, I’m busy weeing in the road.”

It must be counted an additional benefit for the UK volunteer incontinence brigade that the ‘coppers’ in London don’t carry guns.

In New York your Stereophonic mouthing off gets you the standard issue Mean Streets beat down and you’ve no one to blame but yourself. In the (increasingly) damp streets of Camden town they just make fun of your hair-cut. Apparently the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy quintet are running the local police academy. I kid you not … the story continued thusly

Kelly claims the officers then started to make fun of his haircut. He explained: “I said to the copper he should have a day off. He said, ‘You just had a haircut? I can see the hair on your face.

Not exactly Carson Kressley quality bon mots … still it’s nice that the Talentless Five have found a new gig. How very Madonna of them to have set up house in England.

According to The National Enquirer, Mike Tyson had just busted out of rehab for a night out with friends when he was arrested for drug possession in Phoenix, Arizona. The article states that Tyson wanted to get back to boxing, but he was also slated to be a prostitute in Heidi Fleiss’ male brothel in Nevada, where prostitution is legal outside of Las Vegas. The opening of the stud farm has been delayed due to legal problems with another brothel in the area, leaving convicted rapist Tyson out of a job.

It turns out that Tyson had checked himself into a facility in Phoenix to dry out and prepare for a boxing comeback. After nine days he couldn’t stand it any more and went out partying with friends. When he was pulled over, cops found cocaine in his pocket.

Mike Tyson was running away from drug rehab when he was busted for suspicion of DUI and cocaine possession, The Enquirer has learned exclusively.

At 40, Iron Mike told pals he wanted to make a fresh start and return to the ring. His first step was to enter a Phoenix rehab facility. But the hot-tempered Tyson could not stand its strict regimen and bolted after only nine days.

Now the former heavyweight champion’s future may include the requisite pink jumpsuit and pink underwear worn in the Maricopa County jails, where “America’s toughest Sheriff” says celebrities get no special treatment…

“After only nine days, he left the [rehab] facility, saying he felt like he was in a cage.

“One of the first things he did was find a nightclub and party with friends!”

On Dec 29, the hard-partying puglist was leaving a club in a BMV at midnight and almost hit a polict car.

During a search, an officer found two bags believed to be cocaine in Tyson’s back pocket.

Mike admitted it belonged to him, and that he uses cocaine anytime he can get his hands on it.

[From The National Enquirer print edition, January 22, 2007]

The latest news is that Tyson has been formally charged with DUI as well as felony possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia. If he’s convicted on all counts he could get up to seven and a half years in jail. I have a feeling that most of the other inmates will stay the hell away from him.

Ironically, Tyson’s record of convictions of assault and rape make him ineligible for state-sponsored drug treatment.

The National Enquirer quotes a supposed insider who claims that Lionel Richie wants his tiny daughter Nicole to spend some time in jail with the hope that she’ll be scared straight. Nicole, who claimed her weight was 88 pounds, admitted to police officers that she was under the influence of pot and Vicodin at the time of her arrest for driving the wrong way on the freeway. She later had a friend tell news outlets that she was taking the prescription painkiller for period cramps.

“Lionel’s stood behind Nicole through three arrests, drug rehab and her drastic weight loss,” a family friend told The ENQUIRER.

“But enough is enough!”

Lionel held an intervention with his pot-smoking daughter last October, begging her to get treatment, said the friend.

“But all she agreed to was some outpatient medical tests. Lionel was incredibly disappointed.

“When he heard of her latest arrest, he sighed to a friend: ‘Let her go to jail. It might do her some good. Maybe it will frighten some sense into her.’”

This article makes it seem like the “intervention” Lionel held for Nicole was for drugs, but he admitted taking Nicole to a doctor to be evaluated for a possible eating disorder. The doctor said that Nicole was suffering from stress, which was making her thin.

If Nicole is convicted of DUI, she will be sentenced to a mandatory five days in jail under California law. She pled guilty to a previous DUI offense in 2002, and if she’s convicted of another one she’ll have to go away for at least five days. Commentor Phin notes that a coworker of his got six months in jail for his second DUI after a lackluster performance in court in front of tough judge. Maybe Nicole should plead guilty and serve her five days. It worked for Martha.

Nicole Richie’s high-profile arrest for driving the wrong way on the freeway this week wasn’t the first time she was nabbed for driving under the influence. Richie pled guilty to DUI four years ago, and according to TMZ if she’s convicted of DUI again she’ll have to serve a mandatory five day jail sentence.

TMZ has found court documents which reveal that Richie pled no contest four years ago to driving under the influence. Under California law, if Richie is convicted of DUI as a result of Monday’s arrest, the judge must impose a jail sentence.

The law requires a mandatory sentence of five consecutive days in county jail as well as a one year license suspension for anyone twice-convicted of DUI. In addition, Richie would be ordered to attend an alcohol education program for a year-and-a-half, even if the second conviction is not alcohol-related.

As TMZ first reported, Richie admitted to CHP officers that she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot before driving the wrong way on a Burbank freeway. A field sobriety test revealed she was not under the influence of alcohol.

Although Richie was under the influence of non-alcoholic drugs, it might not matter in court. She was clearly impaired and should not have been driving. Maybe she can call up Michelle Rodriguez for some tips on how to get all her fellow inmates singing showtunes.

In Richie’s previous DUI offense in 2002 she blew a .12. and a .13, and the limit for impairment is .08. At that time she told officers that she had a shot of vodka. Her license was suspended for a year and she had three years probation. She got arrested again for driving with a suspended license and possession of heroin just six months after that.

During her latest DUI arrest, Richie said that she had only eaten french fries that day.

Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI after she was busted driving the wrong way on the freeway while talking on her cellphone this morning. Two other drivers called 911 when they spotted her vehicle driving into oncoming traffic. She passed the breathalyzer but told cops she was under the influence of Vicodin and pot.

TMZ has learned that Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI early Monday morning. She was booked at 4:50 AM today and was released around 7:15 this morning. The booking sheet reveals Richie is 5′1″ and 85 lbs.

We’re told two motorists spotted her SUV going the wrong way on the 134 Freeway in Burbank. The drivers called 911.

When the CHP responded, Richie was stopped in the carpool lane and was alone in the vehicle. When cops approached the vehicle, Richie was on her cellphone.

Law enforcement officers tell TMZ Nicole Richie admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot.

A preliminary alcohol screening device revealed that Nicole was not under the influence of alcohol.

This is not the first brush Richie has had with substance abuse. In 2003, she pled guilty to heroin possession. The charges were dismissed after she completed the terms of her probation.

Aren’t you supposed to clam up and lawyer up when you’re arrested? She must have been really high if she admitted to it so easily like that. I would say that Richie might have a two week stint in rehab to make it look to the public like she’s contrite, but her career doesn’t really depend on it or anything and she seems pretty stubborn about doing her own thing.

Nicole Richie is rumored to be dating Hillary Duff’s last ex, Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden. She and Madden were seen trying to cover their faces while leaving a club on Friday night. Hollyscoop reports that Richie was likely driving home from Madden’s house at the time of her arrest.

The header image is of Richie on 11/17 and is from lime-light.

Wesley Snipes was arrested at the airport after coming home from filming in Namibia. He fell prey to a tax evasion scheme that claims that you can put all your earnings in a bogus “Constitutional Trust” to avoid tax liability. He was cited way back in 2002 for non-payment of taxes when he filed an amended return claiming zero income and asking for $7.4 million refund. He never learned his lesson and continued pulling that same stupid stunt.

Now he’s wanted for $12 million in taxes and is in federal custody:

TMZ has learned Wesley Snipes has been arrested and taken into custody by federal authorities.

The actor was arrested Friday morning after arriving at Orlando International Airport. Snipes said he was a scapegoat and unfairly targeted by prosecutors in connection with a federal tax fraud investigation.

Snipes had been shooting a movie in Namibia.

The “White Men Can’t Jump” star is accused of failing to pay nearly $12 million in taxes. Officials allege that Snipes fraudulently claimed refunds in 1996 and 1997, and then failed to file returns between 1999 and 2006.

In related celebrity tax evasion news, “Survivor” winner Richard Hatch was in court to appeal his conviction on tax evasion after he never paid taxes on the $1 million prize from the reality show. He claims producers told him they would take care of the taxes on his winnings after he busted them sneaking food to other participants in the show. He is currently in jail on a four year sentence.

Given Pete Doherty’s latest line of self-congratulatory T-shirts, I thought his days of drugging were over. He’s been drunk in public quite a few times since his supposedly successful latest rehab stint, but somehow he’s managed to avoid being arrested for a few weeks. All that changed yesterday, when he was pulled over for erratic driving in London and arrested for possession of crack cocaine.

Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty was released on bail on Sunday after he was arrested on suspicion of possessing crack cocaine, police said.

The on-off boyfriend of supermodel Kate Moss was arrested after he was spotted driving his car erratically near his east London home, police said.

The 27-year-old musician, along with car’s other two occupants, were arrested on suspicion of drug possession.

All three men were released from Bethnal Green police station pending analysis of the substances recovered, said a Scotland Yard spokeswoman, speaking on condition of anonymity in line with force policy. They must report back to police in December.

Note that he had friends with him in the car, so it’s possible the drugs weren’t even his. He did say that crack makes him happy, though. I bet it also works faster than The Slimfast diet.

This morning I read the news that George Michael was found slumped over in his car with drugs, and figured that it was mistakenly re-published from the old story back in Februrary, since it was under very similar circumstances. I was wrong:

Back in February, Michael was arrested passed out in his car and was charged with possession of “class c” drugs. It turns out he only had pot and poppers and got off with just a police caution.

In April Michael hit three parked cars in what he called a “tricky hill maneuver,” and drove off without notifying the drivers. Many people assumed the incident was drug-related.

In mid-May, British tabloid News of the World busted George asleep at a traffic light while listening to an iPod. The photos from the incident reveal that he was really fucked up.

Then in late July News of the World caught Michael wanking off a pot-bellied 58 year-old guy in a park. They interviewed the unemployed guy Michael hooked up with, and he said that he had some big sexual “secret” that Michael was open to. shudder.

George Michael is in the midst of a comeback concert tour, and word is that he still can perform. Many people were offended by a giant blow-up George Bush he trotted out on stage that opened up to reveal an English bulldog giving it a blowjob, but many other people just thought it was an asanine stunt.

Michael’s hot partner, Kenny Goss, has stuck with him through all of his scandals. Kenny and Michael were set to tie the knot in an extravagent Elton-John style gay wedding at their tenth anniversary this summer. Rumor had it that Kenny called off the wedding after Michael got caught with that nasty old dude in the park, but Michael said he bought Kenny a nearly $2 million anniversary gift to make up, and that the wedding was still on. While Kenny may be sticking by his man, he sure isn’t marrying him. They were supposed to have a ceremony before Michael’s tour, and we haven’t heard anything about it.

George Michael will get off easily again for this latest offense. If he only had pot he probably won’t even do community service. If I learned anything from paying attention to the Pete Doherty debacle it’s that the British legal system isn’t too hard on drug offenders.