Given Pete Doherty’s latest line of self-congratulatory T-shirts, I thought his days of drugging were over. He’s been drunk in public quite a few times since his supposedly successful latest rehab stint, but somehow he’s managed to avoid being arrested for a few weeks. All that changed yesterday, when he was pulled over for erratic driving in London and arrested for possession of crack cocaine.

Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty was released on bail on Sunday after he was arrested on suspicion of possessing crack cocaine, police said.

The on-off boyfriend of supermodel Kate Moss was arrested after he was spotted driving his car erratically near his east London home, police said.

The 27-year-old musician, along with car’s other two occupants, were arrested on suspicion of drug possession.

All three men were released from Bethnal Green police station pending analysis of the substances recovered, said a Scotland Yard spokeswoman, speaking on condition of anonymity in line with force policy. They must report back to police in December.

Note that he had friends with him in the car, so it’s possible the drugs weren’t even his. He did say that crack makes him happy, though. I bet it also works faster than The Slimfast diet.

This morning I read the news that George Michael was found slumped over in his car with drugs, and figured that it was mistakenly re-published from the old story back in Februrary, since it was under very similar circumstances. I was wrong:

Back in February, Michael was arrested passed out in his car and was charged with possession of “class c” drugs. It turns out he only had pot and poppers and got off with just a police caution.

In April Michael hit three parked cars in what he called a “tricky hill maneuver,” and drove off without notifying the drivers. Many people assumed the incident was drug-related.

In mid-May, British tabloid News of the World busted George asleep at a traffic light while listening to an iPod. The photos from the incident reveal that he was really fucked up.

Then in late July News of the World caught Michael wanking off a pot-bellied 58 year-old guy in a park. They interviewed the unemployed guy Michael hooked up with, and he said that he had some big sexual “secret” that Michael was open to. shudder.

George Michael is in the midst of a comeback concert tour, and word is that he still can perform. Many people were offended by a giant blow-up George Bush he trotted out on stage that opened up to reveal an English bulldog giving it a blowjob, but many other people just thought it was an asanine stunt.

Michael’s hot partner, Kenny Goss, has stuck with him through all of his scandals. Kenny and Michael were set to tie the knot in an extravagent Elton-John style gay wedding at their tenth anniversary this summer. Rumor had it that Kenny called off the wedding after Michael got caught with that nasty old dude in the park, but Michael said he bought Kenny a nearly $2 million anniversary gift to make up, and that the wedding was still on. While Kenny may be sticking by his man, he sure isn’t marrying him. They were supposed to have a ceremony before Michael’s tour, and we haven’t heard anything about it.

George Michael will get off easily again for this latest offense. If he only had pot he probably won’t even do community service. If I learned anything from paying attention to the Pete Doherty debacle it’s that the British legal system isn’t too hard on drug offenders.

Paris had a bad week. Busted for DUI, caught making out with Travis Barker despite claimimg to have been with his lookalike friend, and now the victim of a clever prank by likable freewheeling billionaire Richard Branson.

Branson held a Mad-Hatter themed party Saturday night, and Paris asked if she could dress as Alice in Wonderland and be the belle of the ball. Branson agreed, but had as his servers dress as Alice too! When Paris showed, he asked her to fetch him a drink:

Oops Paris! The only way you can win is by staying in and keeping to yourself for a little while, but that’s not going to happen, is it?

Thanks to Fark for linking this story.

Here are some low-res pictures of Paris getting arrested for DUI. [via]

Oh Paris! Here’s a recap of the latest news about her thrilling DUI arrest.

Paris Hilton proves yet again that she has the hardest working publicist in show business by getting arrested early this morning in LA for driving under the influence.

Paris used the old “it was just one drink” excuse.

Looks like Paris isn’t going to cry her way out of this ticket. I’m sure this is as true as the story that some thief took off with all of Paris’ thoughtfullly chosen mother’s day gifts.

Paris is never going to admit responsibility for driving drunk. It’s all because she works so hard, doesn’t eat, doesn’t have time to just slow down and spend her time shopping at Kitson like a normal heiress.

TMZ has a video of Paris arriving home from the station. Her publicist comes out, gives the “one drink, she was tired” spiel, and reports that the breathalizer showed the “absolute lowest” reading that warrants being taken in. He does not get into specific numbers, though.

Paris backed her car into a Honda in a parking lot in mid June, and claimed that the paparrazi were to blame for her poor driving. Now she has no one to blame but herself, but will surely never take responsibility.

Mel Gibson’s dad is an anti-semite, and now we know that his son is a drunk driver too. Gibson’s son Christian, 24, was busted for driving drunk while at college last year and spent five hours in jail:

If inpatient substance abuse treatment is good enough for his son, who had completed treatment prior to Gibson’s arrest, why can’t Gibson check himself into rehab too? He must think he’s above that. Drunken arrogance must run in the family.

The implant in Pete Doherty’s stomach and the love of a skinny stupid supermodel couldn’t reform him no matter how much the world was rooting for his sobreity. He’s been arrested for drug posession more times than I can count:

Oh that explains it! He was stopped last week and found with drugs. Now that he’s back with Kate and has that drug impant we don’t have to worry about him any more. Now if only he can clean up up that silly legal mess he can clear the way for their secret wedding in Ibiza this weekend.

It’s a shame there’s no Nick Nolte style mug shot to include with this story, but uber-religious Catholic cult member Mel Gibson was arrested for drunk driving on Friday after supposedly being sober for years. He had a bottle of tequila in his car, and said it wasn’t his but he’d “had a little bit” (that’s classic!)

TMZ also has details of a police cover-up to remove inflammatory details from the original report. When he was first arrested, Mel Gibson went off on Jews, saying they were responsible for all the wars in the world, and told the arresting officer repeatedly that he was going to “fuck” him. He also tried to run away when the cop did him a courtesy by not cuffing him.

Once he was in custody, he tried to unzip his pants to pee on the floor of his holding cell!

Gibson was obviously distraught over the illegal unprovoked war on Lebanon that’s killed countless innocent civilians. Israel is responsible for a high percentage of wars, but then again so are the Americans. There’s that whole imprisoning an entire country thing that Israel’s doing, too. It’s not the Jewish or American peoples’ fault, though, just their terrible leaders.

Gibson was pulled over for drunk driving twice before and let off with just a warning.

Mel Gibson is a member of the Catholic cult, Opus Dei, which tried to escape the terrible image it was given in the Da Vinci Code, and calls their portrayal inaccurate:

The only other famous person I’ve heard of who was a member of Opus Dei was FBI spy Robert Hanssen, who rigged up a secret room in order to let his best friend watch while he had sex with his wife.

Gibson has since apologized for his behavior, saying that he “acted like a person completely out of control,” that he “said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable,” and that he was “deeply ashamed.”

It’s too late for Gibson, because everyone’s suspicions about him have been confirmed. Now that their highest profile member has been exposed for the jerk he is, Opus Dei is going to have even more problems with their image. Mel Gibson’s going to have quite a hard time making his weird religious movies too.

Now we’re starting to feel sorry for Pete Doherty since he seemed to be cleaning up slightly and was even praised for his efforts by the judge at his sentencing hearing yesterday. The guy can’t catch a break, though, and was just arrested yesterday on suspicion of drugs possession for the umpteenth time:

Hopefully officers didn’t find any drugs on Doherty, and it will not jeopardize his probation.

In these pictures taken yesterday of Doherty shopping in London, he looks relatively sober. He’s just trying to mind his own business while considering whether to buy a pair of binoculars. He seems really sweet and there’s something about him that makes you just want to protect him… yeah, that must be how he snared Kate.

Naomi Campbell doesn’t just hit, bite, headbutt and throw objects at people, she also spits. Campbell spat in a security guard’s face at a U2 concert a few months ago::

Campbell was not even removed from the concert and was characteristically rude when officers gave her a verbal warning. The abused guard’s harrassment complaint to police was closed because “Campbell’s actions were considered more rude than harassing.”

Meanwhile the maid that Campbell struck with a crystal-encrusted Blackberry on Thursday said that she suffered from blurred vision and extreme blood loss after the attack.

Cops have also recovered a mobile phone from Campbell’s house that may be the one she used to hit the maid from behind. Campbell faces up to 7 years in jail if she’s convicted.

If Campbell wasn’t famous she would have been hauled away for spitting at a security guard at a concert. Let’s hope she has severe legal and monetary consequences for this latest episode.