Ben Stiller is one of the few major celebrities that you rarely hear anything about, good or bad. Maybe he’s secretly the most wonderful man is Hollywood, and he just likes to keep that little fact on the down low. Or he’s a total diva, and he’s just got so much power you never hear any of the negative stuff. Or a little from Column A, a little from Column B. Since I’ve never really heard anything one way or the other, my general impression of Ben is that he’s probably a tough taskmaster, a perfectionist, a little neurotic, but also very talented and professional.

However, that’s not the portrait the Enquirer draws of Stiller. I think Ben really pissed someone off on the Little Fockers set, because someone is out for Ben’s blood, and they are really hacked off:

The joke’s on comic Ben Stiller – insiders on the set of his just-wrapped ‘Meet the Fockers’ sequel nicknamed the egotistical star the original ‘little focker’!

“Ben alienated most of the cast and crew on the film ‘Little Fockers’ with his vain and self-absorbed behavior,” an insider told the Enquirer.

“When he wasn’t obsessing over his looks, he was throwing temper tantrums and screaming at underlings. The crew referred to him as a ‘little focker’ because of his outrageous conduct.”

Stiller fired an assistant director, demanded star treatment for his entourage of personal chefs and hair and makeup minders, and refused to interact with underlings – unless it was to yell at them.

“Ben’s ego has gone off the charts… he flipped out on a female assistant director for some perceived mistake and then screamed at the top of his lungs, ‘I never want to work with this woman again!’ before storming off the set. He refused to come back until the poor woman was gone. She was dismissed and the next day a male replacement was brought in to appease Ben.”

“Ben wouldn’t eat the catered craft services food and insisted his assistant and two personal chefs be allowed to park right on set.”

The chefs – both stunning blondes – constantly massaged the star’s over-inflated ego, added the source.

“They were the only ones able to put a smile on Ben’s face… It was clear from day one that Ben wasn’t happy unless he was waited on hand and foot.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, March 1, 2010]

Reasons why this is most likely total bullsh-t: If Ben was this much of an a–hole, we would have heard about it before now; two, it all came from one source, who probably was this assistant director who got fired (for cause, probably), and wanted someone to blame; three, because I don’t care how talented, rich and A-list you are, you can’t act like that on a film set without someone calling you out. That last point brings me to this question: where the hell was Robert DeNiro when all of this drama was happening? You know DeNiro wouldn’t be too pleased. And you don’t want to upset DeNiro. At. All.

P.S. I really like Ben’s scruff in these photos. They make him look sexy, and I’ve never found him sexy before.

Ben at the Berlin Film Festival, promoting ‘Greenberg’ on Valentine’s Day. Credit: WENN.

A Chicago reporter asked Mel Gibson if he felt like he was a better person than he was four or five years ago and Mel answered the question loud and clear – by calling the guy an a**hole when he thought he was off camera. Mel said at first “I think I’m the same person I always was” and added something about how time changes people. When reporter Dean Richards pressed a little and asked “Do you think the public will perceive you any differently after all that’s been in the news about you?” Mel rolled his eyes and asked “What are you referring to specifically?”

Richards then explained the obvious, saying “Referring to the drinking problems, referring to what’s been called the anti-semitic rant…. you know what I’m talking about.”

Gibson got defensive and arrogant and said “That’s almost four years ago, dude. I’ve moved on I guess you haven’t.”

Richards didn’t back down and calmly asked “I’m just wondering if you think the public has moved on and will perceive you in the same light.”

“Well I certainly hope so. It is a while back. I’ve done all the necessary mea culpas. So, uh, let’s move on, dude. Come on.”

Then Richards gave a plug to Edge of Darkness and thanked Gibson, who said “bye” and then promptly added “a**hole” to the sentiment.

This isn’t the first time that Gibson has utterly failed to make it seem like he’s changed at all. He told Hello! Magazine (in what may have been a press conference) that he failed to see why it was a big deal. “So what’s the problem? It’s four years ago. Do I need to apologize again?”

No, Mel, all you have to do is memorize a humble-sounding response to inevitable questions about your DUI and anti-semitic statements. Something along the lines of “It’s regrettable, I wish it never happened, I’m in recovery now, I hope the public can see past that,” etc. Gibson is an actor and he should be able to act like he’s contrite and wants to change even if he isn’t. Instead, he’s messing up his minor comeback after a seven year hiatus by reminding us why he fell out of favor in the first place.

I don’t think Jon Gosselin is capable of being by himself for more than five seconds. The father of 8 has already found a replacement for girlfriend Hailey Glassman – his one time “soul mate.” What’s weird, though, is that Hailey, who was the other woman in the high-profile Gosselin divorce, now has the nerve to act like a victim/woman scorned. Seriously – she was having an affair with a married dude. What did she think was going to happen – they would ride off into the sunset in their matching Ed Hardy activewear?

Is Jon Gosselin once again finding solace in the arms of a new woman?

According to Internet reports, Gosselin is already dating again – having hooked up with a woman named Morgan he met while skiing in Utah. “He’s a guy who doesn’t like to be alone,” says a source close to the father of eight. “He has a girl that he likes, but they have been taking things very slow.”

Also moving slowly? Gosselin’s plans to settle his differences with ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman, who allegedly trashed the Manhattan apartment they shared, according to his attorney Mark Jay Heller, and whom Jon is accused of shoving during a pre-holiday argument.

No Meeting, So Far
Despite reports to the contrary, Glassman and Gosselin have yet to meet, says her lawyer Stephanie Ovadia. Perhaps that’s because considerable bitterness remains between them.

Says the Gosselin source about Glassman: “Jon feels much better without her. He felt that she was sucking him for all his money and not being faithful to him. He is happy to be done with her.”

For her part, Glassman is attempting to take the high road, having recently moved to a new apartment in New York’s Murray Hill neighborhood. “I’ve been through way too much for a 22-year-old, and the amount of stress and pain I’ve endured is unfathomable,” Glassman tells PEOPLE.

“[But] in life, you need to be an optimist, I’ve learned. You have two options: You can either be sad and depressed and pity yourself, or be the best you can be. Like Robert Frost says, ‘If I could sum up life in three words, it would be ‘Life Goes On.’ ” (The poet’s exact words were, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.”)

Still, Glassman can’t resist taking one more potshot at the fallen reality star: “Congrats to the new girlfriend and I wish [Jon] luck with his move to Utah. I mean, I’m not sure if he remembers he has eight children back in Pennsylvania.”

And in what might be a reference to her former boyfriend’s now-canceled TLC series, Glassman adds: “Remember Jon – those eight little people you hung around with while you were running your legalized sweat shop?”

Says the Gosselin source: “He will always love his kids. His kids are what keep him going.”

[From People]

I think it’s rich that Hailey is throwing Jon’s children in his face. I’m sure his kids were the first thing on her mind when she starting fooling around with their father, while he was still married and living with their mom. Whatever. They’re both gross, class-less a**holes. As much as Jon makes me want to take a “Silkwood” shower, Hailey is 10 times worse. The only good thing about Jon getting a new piece is that the old one, hopefully, will drop off the radar forever. As for Jon, what a difference a couple of months makes. Not long ago he was proclaiming his undying love for Hailey, and her family, and even said he was going to convert to Judaism. I don’t think the man is capable of telling the truth about anything. How he managed to find a woman dumb enough to go out with him after all this is beyond me. Maybe they don’t have TVs or magazines or the Internet in Utah.

Jon Gosselin in LA on November 12, 2009. Hailey Glassman on December 16, 2009 in NY. Credit: INFphoto.com

Last week Gawker crowned Girls Gone Wild honcho and all-around persecuted douche Joe Francis the “Douche of the Decade.” He was competing in a poll with a bunch of other douchey guys regularly profiled by Gawker who don’t have the high name recognition. Francis won by 32%, with blogger Tucker Max coming in a close second. (I didn’t know much about that guy Tucker Max, but after reading just one story on his blog I wish I could forget him. I hope his conquest stories are fabricated.)

In response to Gawker’s title, in which they called Francis a rapist as per this LA Times profile that reveals that he raped an 18 year-old girl, he fired off an error-filled e-mail to Gawker head Nick Denton promising to sue. Francis claimed he lost a “$10 million deal” as a result of the rapist charge and that “No one make up lies about me and gets away with it…. I am coming after you harder than I have ever went after anyone.”

Last night, Francis emailed a nastygram (with a prize inside!) to our vacationing overlord Nick Denton, myself, three attorneys (Cyrus J. Nownejad, Brad Brian, David P. Schack), and for good measure two media contacts: Mike Waters, the news manager at TMZ, and Richard Johnson, the editor of the New York Post’s Page Six. Francis is threatening to file lawsuit today over his Douche of the Decade award, claiming that he’s lost a $10 million contract because we used the word “rapist” in the bio accompanying the prize. (Last week, when Francis’ company lawyer Terry Yeom wrote his own letter, this mysterious lost bit of business only amounted to $4 million.)

[From Gawker]

What’s more is that Frances e-mailed a photo of himself shirtless to Denton, telling him at the end of the e-mail that “I sent you an updated photo of how I actually look now so you can masturbate to it because you seen to be quite sexually obsessed with me.” Oh Joe, you know just the right way to accept your title as “Douche of The Decade.” No one can touch you. The IRS can try, though. Don’t you have another legal battle to fight against the federal government for “illegally” seizing all your assets? Looking back at our earlier coverage, we called you a rapist too. Can I get a full frontal shot to help quench my obvious sexual obsession?

Header image is of Joe Francis on 6/3/09. Credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures. Image below from Gawker

Paris Hilton has made millions by slapping her name on cheap products, showing up for parties, and generally marketing herself like the two-bit media Barbie she strives to be. Despite how rich she is, Paris doesn’t believe that she should have to shell out a dime for drinks or dinner. US Weekly had this gem in their “VIP Scene” section this week about how Paris pitched a fit when her bill wasn’t comped at an LA club:

Paris Hilton shouting “What the f–k, I’m Paris Hilton!” after learning her bill was not comped at Ecco Ultra Lounge in L.A.

[From US Weekly, print edition, April 20, 2009]

We also heard directly from people providing swag for celebrities at Sundance that Paris raided their stuff, taking over 30 bags of goods from just one suite. It’s reassuring to hear that she’s being denied something for once. Maybe the waiter told her, “exactly, and that’s why you have to pay just like everyone else.” Do you think she left a tip?

In related Paris Hilton news, the sparkling wine in a can she endorses, Rich Proseco, is floundering. I see her smirking face at my local German gas station on a poster right next to a round cooler of the stuff, and it’s always full. There are plenty of other portable alcoholic beverages to choose from that don’t remind you of Paris Hilton when you’re having a drink. It’s a win-win.

Paris is shown on 4/6/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

Actor Billy Bob Thornton, 53, is the lead singer and songwriter for an LA-based band called the Boxmasters. Their style is described as a kind of mix of rockabilly with British pop music, or “hillbilly rock.” The Boxmasters have released three albums in the past year, which have received decent reviews. Thornton is promoting their latest album, “Modbilly,” with the title a nod to their unique genre. The band is now on tour with Willie Nelsen and Ray Price.

In an interview yesterday with his band on CBC radio, shown above, Thornton was incredibly dismissive and bizarre in his responses. You can tell when the interview started to go wrong. While introducing the band, DJ Jian Ghomeshi briefly mentioned Thornton’s acting career as background. Thornton looks pissed off when the camera pans to him and then we see the faces of his bandmates looking pensive and worried. Apparently the station had been instructed not to bring up Thornton’s other, more well known career. It all went downhill from there despite the fact that the interviewer only focused on the music and didn’t bring up Thornton’s acting until it became the elephant in the room. Billy Bob’s bandmates do their best to do the interview at first, but when the DJ asks questions to Billy Bob directly he gives unrelated answers in what seems to be an attempt to show that his acting career is just as unrelated to his musical ambitions.

DJ: Billy Bob, You guys formed only in the last couple of years right?
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what you mean by that.

When did the band form? Well, when did you guys start playing together?
[Billy's bandmate answers that they started about two years ago]

What do you learn from Willie Nelson, Billy Bob? [They are currently on tour with Nelson]
Uh, I’ve never met him… I don’t really know him. I said hello to him once, nice guy.

You guys don’t really hang out on tour? You don’t know what I mean?
No

Did Willie chose you guys to go on tour with him?
Sh*t, I don’t know…

[The other band members talk about how the genre came about naturally as mix between 60s mod music and "hillbilly" music.]

And that was true for you, Billy Bob, growing up? It was sort of a combo of Stones and Monkeys and Buck Owens?
I just liked baseball as a kid.

And you almost became a professional baseball player right?
I don’t know. Maybe.

You didn’t love music when you were a kid?
Ummm. I subscribed to a magazine called “Famous Monsters of Filmland.” The publisher was a guy named Forest J. Ackerman who passed away recently.

Hmm. Do you remember what you were listening to musically as a kid?
Well they had a contest where you could build your own model. It could be a King Kong… Frankenstein. They made these plastic models in those days… I did enter it once, I didn’t win anything, but I gave it a shot. It was a big deal for us kids in those days.

Where’s the music fit into that?
Music, no it was a monster magazine.

Given that you seem to be quite passionate about music. I was wondering about your…
Would you say that to Tom Petty?

Would I say that he’s passionate about music, yeah.
Would you explain why it’s not a hobby?

Would I explain why it’s not a hobby? Are you reacting to the fact-
Yeah, I am. I am. Since you’re instructed not to talk about sh*t like that. Yeah I am reacting like that.

I’m not really instructed. You guys are here as a band, you’re performing.
The producer is instructed.

Because I mentioned that you’re an actor?
First of all, that wasn’t supposed to be mentioned either.

That’s just giving context, right? I’m happy to interview you guys as a band. For the listeners we’re giving context for who you are. That’s part of your trajectory, isn’t it?
Not really. No

You would prefer me to only do this interview not mentioning at all… that you’ve ever done anything in terms of acting, screenwriting?
That’s correct.

But do you know that people are listening across the country… and they might think that’s odd that I would not mention anything about your past.
I think that’s odd that you have to smoke inside a white stripe outside

That’s also odd. That’s a little different, that’s a rule and regulation. I’m just trying to do a show and give people context for who you guys are.
There’s plenty of context without all that.

The producers told me… that you didn’t want to focus on questions around your acting career, etc. I’m cool with that. I’m happy to talk to you as musicians. It does also occur to me that you’re a pretty new band and one of the reasons why you get attention is because of the career you’ve had.
We’re not really new. I’ve made eight albums.

I know you’ve made a lot… how long have the Boxmasters been here for?
I don’t know.

A couple of years maybe. Even the greatest bands in the world… part of the attention that you’re getting is because of the great career you’ve had in other ways… I’m not trying to be insulting to your musical…
What I’m explaining is that we said do not talk about sh*t like that and we also said that we didn’t want to hear anything about how this is my first love. You wouldn’t say that to Tom Petty, would you? ‘I understand music is your first love.’ Well my first love was a chick named Lisa Cohen.

Do you want to continue this if we talk about music?
That would be great.

If we can call a truce then I can ask you questions about music. [nods]

[Roughly transcribed from the Boxmaster's interview on CBC Radio, April 8, 2009, video above]

Billy Bob Thornton needs to get over himself. The DJ did a great job at gently prodding him without getting too annoyed or giving up entirely, and eventually was able to turn it around and establish a little rapport. Thornton refused to sing when the Boxmasters eventually performed, saying he was the drummer and there were no drums. He does play drums for some songs, but I’ve seen other performances through YouTube in which he stands up front to sing. His fellow bandmembers must put up with a lot of ego from this guy if this is how he treats an interviewer.

It’s fitting that Thornton kept referencing Tom Petty because he came across as “petty” indeed. The DJ was right, this band wouldn’t be getting as much attention if Thornton wasn’t the lead singer and he needs to accept that and move on. Now he’s going to be known for being a colossal jerk instead of the musical purist he fancies himself.

Thanks to TMZ for featuring this interview.

Here’s BillyBob shooting a video with the Boxmasters on 11/19/08. Credit: WENN.com

Kanye West has blogged in that incredibly convincing all-caps overly emotional style of his that it’s all the paparazzi’s fault that he smacked a photographer with his camera. He starts by invoking Princess Diana’s death and then goes on to say that there needs to be laws protecting people from being photographed in public. He may be right, but he’s not one to give advice on the matter. West was arrested in Newcastle, England for assaulting a paparazzo outside a club late Thursday night. It was his second abusive incident involving a photographer in just over two months:

WHO’S WINNING, ME OR THE MEDIA?
REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH LIGHT I PUT OUT, THERE ARE PEOPLE WORKING JUST AS HARD TO ONLY DELIVER DARKNESS. IF YOU LISTEN TO MY MUSIC, HOW COULD I DELIVER SO MANY POSITIVE UPLIFTING MESSAGES AND BE THE MONSTER THAT THE MEDIA PAINTS. PAPARAZZI GIVE REAL PHOTOGRAPHERS A BAD NAME. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, THEIRS ARE WORTH A THOUSAND DOLLARS…

LET US NOT FORGET THE PAPS KILLED PRINCESS DIANA. WHEN WILL THERE BE A LAW PASSED THAT SIMPLY ENFORCES THAT SOMEONE HAS TO ASK TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU. THAT WOULD SEEM LIKE COMMON COURTESY. RIGHT NOW THE PAPS ARE ABOVE THE LAW AND THE PEOPLE THEY SHOOT ARE BELOW IT. WHAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IS PICTURES TAKEN WITH THE INTENT TO SELL….LIKE DRUGS WITH THE INTENT TO SELL… OR CROSSING CUSTOMS WITH ENOUGH MERCHANDISE TO HAVE THE INTENT TO SELL. THE EXPLOITATION OF MY IMAGE IS THE PROBLEM. IT PRODUCES A “BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY” BEHAVIOR THAT CAUSE THE PAPS TO DRIVE RECKLESSLY ON FREEWAYS, JUMP OVER FENCES AND INVADE PRIVACY ALL IN AN EFFORT TO GET THAT “MONEY SHOT.” YOU SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO SELL A PICTURE OF ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. AFTER THIS LAW IS PASSED, WHEN YOU ENTER A PUBLIC PLACE LIKE A BASKETBALL ARENA ETC., THERE WILL BE A SIGN THAT READS…”ALL PHOTOS TAKEN HERE ARE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND CAN BE USED AT THE PHOTOGRAPHERS DISCRETION.” OBVIOUSLY RED CARPET EVENTS WHERE PEOPLE SHOW UP TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED WILL ALSO APPLY. THE PERSONAL PROBLEM I HAVE WITH THE PAPS IS WHEN THEY TRY TO CATCH YOU BEING A REGULAR PERSON. I AM NOT A CELEBRITY. I’M A NORMAL PERSON THAT’S JUST FAMOUS. I REFUSE TO SNEAK IN AND OUT OF BACK DOORS AND KITCHENS OF HOTELS ETC….

I AM PROTECTING MY PERSONAL SPACE SINCE THERE ARE NO LAWS TO PROTECT THAT FOR ME.

I PUT MY HAND UP TO THE CAMERA IN SELF DEFENSE!

HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED…WHEN I LEFT THE CLUB, I WAS ENCOUNTERED BY A THIRSTY PAPARAZZI AS USUAL. HE FELT HE HAD MORE RIGHTS TO MY SPACE THAN ME, SO I PUT MY HAND UP TO PREVENT HIM FROM TAKING MY IMAGE. I DIDN’T ASSAULT HIM BUT MERELY PUTTING MY HAND UP TO COVER HIS LENS. MY SECURITY YELLED, “GET THE CAMERA OFF HIM.” I GUESS IN ALL THE COMMOTION THE CAMERA SCRAPED HIS NOSE.

Kanye goes on to scream that the cops were semi-apologetic and told him it was “obviously a publicity stunt by the photographer but they still had to go through the motions.” (I converted all that to lower case obviously. It’s not like Kanye all of a sudden decided to turn off the caps lock for the second part of his rant.)

In September after an incident at the airport in which Kanye and his assistant broke two cameras, Kanye explained it away with a two line blog entry: “I’m cool with the paparazzi. This guy wasn’t cool. I gotta work now… I’ll rant later!”

He never did rant or really explain what caused him to go off and it looks like he waited until it happened again to blame external circumstances instead of taking responsibility for his actions.

Yes there need to be more laws protecting celebrities from the paparazzi, but abusive self-centered jerks like Kanye make it seem like the paparazzi need some protection from retaliation too. West still faces misdemeanor charges for that September altercation, but managed to get off scot free in the UK for this latest incident. Kanye has refused to apologize in writing to the photographer he admits hurting due to “legal litigation,” according to Newcastle police.

Kanye West is shown playing basketball on 11/16/08 in Glasgow, Scotland. The photographer he harmed is shown on 11/14/08. Credit: Bauergriffinonline. Header image is of Kanye at the opening of Bapestore in West Hollywood on 4/23/08. Credit: PRPhotos

Kanye West got mad and crashed the stage ranting when he didn’t win best video at the MTV Europe VMAs in 2006 and now he’s mad that he did win one this year. You just can’t please the guy. He somehow thinks that by winning “best urban act” he unfairly edged out Lil Wayne.

[At] his album launch in London Nov. 11, [Kanye West] blasted MTV for fixing their award shows.

West reported shouted something along the lines of, “Britney Spears over Rihanna? Are you serious? I mean f—ing Jared Leto? He’s my boy but he shouldn’t have won over some of those other artists. I won nothing last year and I’d brought out ‘Stronger.’ Then this year, just because I was there, I won best urban act. This was Lil’ Wayne’s year.”

[From MSNBC's The Scoop]

Band The Ting Tings shared West’s dressing room at the MTV Europe Awards, and said that they were appalled to find that West had peed all over the carpet. It’s unclear whether they actually witnessed him relieving himself on the floor or if they just assumed it was him because the pee was there. Either way, it’s disgusting, and someone must have done it. Now that we know that Kanye is such a sore winner there seems to be more circumstantial evidence that he was the one who whipped it out to mark his childish anger at being honored.

Meanwhile (literally) pissed off Kanye is overestimating his place in history just a little bit. Kanye calls himself the “voice of this generation” and claims that he’s ahead of Justin Timberlake in the music game because Timberlake “went on vacation” while he made another album:

”I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice,” the Associated Press quotes him as saying on Wednesday in London. ”It’s me settling into that position of just really accepting that it’s one thing to say you want to do it and it’s another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan.”

Yes, Kanye believe he is the Air Jordan of music, a role he says could’ve been nabbed by someone like Justin Timberlake, if he’d been more productive with his recording.

”There were people who had the potential to do it but they went on vacation, so when Justin went on vacation I made albums,” he says. ”And it just came out to be that.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Kanye may have it right that he’s the “loudest voice” of this generation, but like a car alarm going off in the neighborhood you may hear it but it kind of blends into the background and becomes just a minor annoyance.

Kanye is shown at the Dior fashion show on 6/29/08 with Kris Van Assche. Credit: Fame

Gwyneth Paltrow still has not updated her aptly-named site, Goop, after launching it five weeks ago with only a single self-important personal statement under its multiple sections: Make, Go, Get, Do and See. She has sent out an e-mail to her mailing list, though, that gives advice from her hand picked experts on how to eat, exercise, and live so that we may all become as healthy, super thin and enlightened as she is.

Gwyneth includes a brief personal statement in the beginning of the e-mail about how her life changed after her father’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent passing. She seems to have coped with her loss by severely controlling her diet and exercising to exhaustion in an attempt to avoid getting sick like her father. She then gives us her doctors’ advice on how to feel better by limiting carbs and sugar, exercising, and going on detox diets.

In 1998, I was filming The Talented Mr. Ripley in Ischia, a little island off the coast of Naples in Italy. I got a call that changed my life. My father had been diagnosed with throat cancer, and it was stage four. Although he underwent treatment and survived for another four years, I watched his health deteriorate slowly until his death in 2002. During this time I began to read about Eastern medicine and the body’s capacity to heal itself. I tried to get my father on board — with mixed results. He loved acupuncture but hated macrobiotic food, which he likened to “biting into The New York Times.” I had read somewhere that in Asia, the concept of going to the doctor when you were already sick was akin to digging a well when you were already thirsty. This struck a chord with me. Over the years I have had my share of medical issues, as we all do. Recently I have found three doctors (one in London, one in New York and one in Los Angeles) who have helped me tremendously. Heeding their advice has helped me out of some very sticky health problems (pneumonia, anemia, stress, etc.). Below they offer their points of view and some ideas about how we can achieve our best health.
— Gwyneth Paltrow

Healthier By The Day

You want to feel healthier, everyone does. You want more energy, a better body and the ability to do what you do better. Like most other people, you’ve listened to the experts, read their advice and never been sure which of it applied to you or was really worth doing. That’s because the things that help you get healthier are usually unique to you. There is no universal plan for better health, no best diet, workout routine or way of solving problems. As unique as you are, there are some guidelines you can follow that will help improve your health:

Start with sleep. Sleep eight hours or more each night. Do what you have to do to get to sleep; there are plenty of natural agents that work. Try them: herbs (valerian), tea (chamomile), amino acids (tryptophan or hydroxy-tryptophan) and vitamins (magnesium and B6). These can be powerful sedatives and work just as well as prescription agents without the risks. Sleep plays a powerful role in determining your appetite, energy and attitude. Sleep better for two weeks before changing your diet. Then try eliminating “white” foods, those that are made with sugar, white flour and milk. If you eliminate them one at a time, start with flour, then eliminate dairy and then sugar. Sugar is easier to quit after a few weeks of no other “white” stuff. Remember high fructose corn syrup and dextrose are sugar by another name. Give yourself about two weeks to get used to each before eliminating the next one.

Exercise regularly. I know you want to but you don’t have the energy to do it. Sleep eight hours for two weeks, then start eliminating “white” foods. After two weeks of sleeping and eating better, you’ll have the energy to exercise. Begin as you like. If you are totally out of shape, start by walking 15 minutes a day and add a minute every day for the first month. At the end of a month, you’ll be up to 45 minutes a day, which should make you ready for whatever more strenuous form of exercise you want to try. Experiment with them all to see what works best for you and stick with it.

Police your thoughts and deal with your feelings constructively. Most of the background chatter in our mind is worrying, judging, criticizing, defending and complaining. Catch yourself and create a distraction by redirecting your thoughts toward the things that you are grateful for and optimistic about.

All these are free (okay, except if you have to buy the sleepers) and all are within your ability. No professionals required. By doing them you will create a customized health plan that will surely result in you getting healthier by the day.

Christian Renna, D.O. LifeSpan Medicine, 2008

Dr. Christian Renna is a nationally recognized expert in the field of contemporary preventive medicine and the founder of LifeSpan Medicine clinics.

Another Inconvenient Truth

The human body is a self-healing, self-renewing, self-cleansing organism. When the right conditions are created, vibrant well-being is its natural state. We have departed from the ways of nature and live under less than natural conditions. Like global warming, the toxicity of our planet is undeniable. I call it “Another Inconvenient Truth.” The air we breathe, the water we drink and shower with, the foods we eat, the cosmetics we use and the buildings we live and work in, are loaded with toxic chemicals that alone or in combination cause disease, suffering and even death. When we remove these obstacles and add what is lacking, our bodies bounce back into health as if by magic. This is natural, common-sense medicine, enabling the body to heal, regenerate and even rejuvenate itself.

With this in mind, if you live in a modern city and want to stay healthy, there are two fundamental practices to follow: detoxification cleansing and eating real foods, just as nature intended food to be.
1) Detoxification cleansing:

Approximately eight hours after eating our last meal the processes of digestion, absorption and assimilation are completed and the body enters into detoxification mode, a function we don’t think about often. A healthy body, used to eating natural foods, needs around four hours to cleanse and detoxify itself from all the waste products of normal metabolism. This is without counting the toxic overload of modern life. It’s a really good practice to fast every day for 12 hours after our last meal: eight hours to complete food processing plus four to allow for detoxification. So if your last meal is at 10pm, don’t eat anything before 10am. Breakfast should be exactly that, break-fast, or breaking the fast. This would be enough in a toxin-free world. Since that is not the case, we should periodically make an extra effort to go deeper and catch up with the cleaning, as it were. This is where detox cleansing programs come into play. There are many programs available today based on different systems and philosophies of healing. Some are great, some dangerous. Make sure someone who understands and has experience guides you.

How often and for how long one should engage in detox programs depends on how clean one is to begin with. In addition to all of the above, one should educate oneself as to how to keep our environment toxin-free. Water and air filters, eco-cleaning utensils, chemical free cosmetics, green architecture, alternative fuel vehicles….
2) Real foods:

We used to pick our food from trees and the earth, and hunt or fish the rest. Now we buy it in modern supermarkets. Ninety percent of the products in supermarkets come in some kind of container. In order to extend shelf life, these food-like products are loaded with chemicals, preservatives and conservatives that kill bacteria. Most products also contain additives to give them the color, smell, taste and texture that will tempt us to buy and eat them. The remaining 10% of what is edible – the produce, the fish, the meats and the dairy products – are loaded with chemicals as well. All of these chemicals cause havoc inside our bodies, being the most intimate source of toxins for us since we throw this mixture in our bellies and soon enough it passes into our blood.

Returning to a more natural way of eating is the best way to avoid disease and premature aging. It also keeps the weight off. Buy organic foods, shop in your local farmer’s markets. Increase the consumption of vegetables, fruits, seeds, grains and legumes. More raw foods are better for health (enzymes remain intact), the environment (smaller carbon footprint) and the pocket (lower utility bills).

To round things up, don’t forget to nourish your soul. The future of medicine is “no medicine.” If we return to a more natural life, our bodies become the best doctors.

With love,
Alejandro Junger, MD

Dr. Alejandro Junger is a cardiologist who practices integrative healing. He currently sees patients in his private practice at the Eleven Eleven Wellness Center in New York and, in 2008, he was named the Director of Integrative Medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital.

Holistic Detox

My journey with nutrition came from looking after performance artists and dancers who were trying to find a healthy balance between diet, looking good and having enough energy to perform. I use the age-old wisdom of ayurvedic medicine, the holistic approach of osteopathic medicine and basic common sense to help patients realize how to achieve their own optimum health. The older, more natural forms of medicine work predominantly on promoting and improving the body’s ability to eliminate waste (detoxification) and also towards finding balance and well-being. My motivation is towards not only the nutritional needs of a healthy body, but also on encouraging better sleep patterns, ways of coping with stress and reducing its effects on the body, and teaching individuals how to care for themselves and make healthy lifestyle choices: the true mind-body-spirit sense of health and well-being.

My first bestselling book, Joshi’s Holistic Detox explains in more detail the fundamentals of my detox and dietary program, but its essence lies in:

* Avoiding all refined carbohydrates including white flour and sugar
* Avoiding all foods with chemical preservatives and flavorings including foods that contain toxic elements (such as heavy metals, e.g. tuna)
* Drinking at least one to two liters of pure water daily to help the body clean and detoxify itself
* Eating fruit and vegetables that are ripe, fresh and as free of chemical fertilizers as possible
* Minimizing tea, coffee, dairy products, and alcohol
* Boosting your health and vitality with a diet rich in organic, ripe fruits and vegetables.
* Eating protein such as white fish or white meats with each meal
* Sleeping at least eight hours a night and practicing some gentle exercise, yoga or meditation every day to reduce the effects of stress on the body.

Neish Joshi, Joshi Clinic

Dr. Neish Joshi is the founder of the Joshi Clinic in London, and has developed a unique approach in his practice, embracing centuries-old Indian traditions, ancient Ayurvedic wisdom and a wide variety of other healing philosophies from all over the world with both eastern and western approaches to orthodox medicine.

[Gwyneth Paltrow's e-mail sent to subscribers, found on the Huffington Post]

I see what Gwyneth is saying and I know I feel better when I limit carbs and exercise. People have to find a diet and exercise plan that works for them though. Severely limiting the variety of foods that you eat and cutting out all dairy and sugar is not possible for everyone and can backfire. A more moderate realistic diet like Weight Watchers, Body for Life, The South Beach Diet, or The Zone can work for a lot of people and bring about greater health without severe restriction. Those are also diets that allow you to eat multiple small meals throughout the day without depriving yourself of treats so you don’t freak out and binge at night after starving all day.

This is a woman who was hospitalized earlier this year during a time in which she was on a fasting diet from a health food store. There were rumors that she had sadly suffered a miscarriage, but her friend chef Mario Batali said her illness was digestive in nature.

There are people who want to hear Paltrow’s advice, and they specifically opted in to her mailing list. It’s within everyone’s rights to start a mailing list about their interests and to give information to subscribers. Gywneth just seems so self-important though, and convinced that her way is the right way, that I’m left with even more of a negative impression of her.

Here’s Gwyneth at the London Film Festival on 10/20/08. Credit: WENN

Spiderman actor James Franco says that being homeless isn’t all that hard. He made $20 in 30 minutes, he claims, researching a role in a movie.

The actor played a homeless drug addict in Robert De Niro movie City By The Sea and decided to live rough to prepare for the vagrant role.

And Franco admits it wasn’t that tough: “I stayed a whole weekend on the street, we panhandled, we made a sign.

“We made at least $20 in half an hour, so, if you’re ever out of work… make a sign – `Homeless, Please Help’.”

Contact Music

This sounds like those people that claim the homeless just do it for fun, and they’ve got thousands stuffed in a mattress at home. I worked night shift in the city and the people who are sleeping in shop doorways in the middle of winter aren’t finding it easy. The older men who live on the streets probably don’t find it as easy to panhandle as someone who is young, that good Samaritans probably assume is just temporarily out of luck. A professional actor should be able to invoke sympathy from passers by a lot more effectively than the genuinely homeless who lack those skills.

This has made me so annoyed, at a time when the economy is making people fear for their jobs that don’t pay exorbitant amounts of money. I’ll share this tidbit about James Franco too – not only is he a panhandling faker, but he also wears a prosthetic penis for his role in Mayor Harvey Milk. He’s all man right up until you get to the rubber, folks.

Photos are stills from City By The Sea thanks to AllMoviePhoto