Annoying repetitive singer James Blunt, who didn’t even write his bland popular songs, is quoted recently as saying that he uses his status as a pop star to get as much ‘tang as possible, and considers it his obligation. He also said he’s used the “You’re Beautiful” song that tormented us all for months several times to get laid, telling various women from his past that it was about them. He says he doesn’t really care that it wasn’t true that the song wasn’t about them and doesn’t feel bad for it:

In a recent interview, James Blunt had this to say about sleeping with as many women as possible now that he’s a “pop star.”

“I’ve always thought it was my responsibility to do that. I have been told by people that I should not be seen clubbing with good-looking women, but I can’t see why not. Why be a pop star otherwise?

“I have fun with it and I am honest and open about the way I lead my life and don’t mislead anyone. I’ve had the time of my life and thank God for that, it would be such a waste otherwise.”

In the same interview Blunt said that he has told at least five or ten women that he has known previously and wanted to sleep with that he had written the song with them in mind. He went on to say that the line worked more often than not and that he has no guilt about lying to any of them about it.

[From Crazy Days and Nights]

And if that wasn’t enough to makes you hate the guy, he recently decided to cut back on meal costs for his crew on tour, saying he didn’t owe them decent food and that they must make do with fast food:

Just before James Blunt set out to promote his debut album, he cast an eye over the accounts for the upcoming tour.

An item on the expenses caught his haughty eye and he demanded to know what this outrageously small sum of money had been put aside for. His manager explained that, as normal, this was to pay for meals for the crew and the band, the very people who were given the impossible task of making the singer’s performances almost bearable night after night.

Blunt was not happy, even though every other artist in the world muddles along quite merrily with this arrangement.

“If I hire a plumber,” Blunt argued, sounding all the while like Boris Johnson on helium, “I don’t expect to have to provide him with a three-course meal for simply doing his job.” And so, the most punchable man since time began ensured himself a tour diet of spunk burgers, piss pops and the rest.

[From The HolyMoly e-mail newsletter]

If you are a boss and screw your workers in cheap petty ways like this, they will screw you over ten times worse and cost you much more money in the long run. This is typical of stupid, bad managers and there are so many examples of situations where it goes wrong.

For instance, a friend of mine had a manager tell him he didn’t want to pay for $10 a day high speed Internet access in his hotel room while he was away on business, even though his job required downloading large movie and sound files. So instead of expensing cheap meals to the company, he went out to the best places he could find for lunch and dinner and ended up costing them at least $70 more a day.

By being cheap with his workers, Blunt’s crew were probably slower and deliberately slacked on the job, resulting in a much higher cost of lost productivity. But James Blunt just decided they didn’t need decent food, so he doesn’t need efficient help, either.

Blunt is shown yesterday at the VH1 Save the Music gala. Thanks to PRPhotos.

I’m just going to go ahead and say it: OJ Simpson is one big ball of dumb. How in the world does someone that notoriously famous for getting away with crime think he could very publicly commit a planned criminal act with lots of accomplices and witness and get away with it? Dude, you only got away with it the first time because you killed everyone there. The only living witness was the Akita. Unless you did that here, it wasn’t going to work out well for you dude. People know what you look like (that vertical football shaped head isn’t helping you blend in) and who you are. How could tis have turned out well? Unless you’re banking on the “I’m a notorious murder who isn’t afraid to do it again because I can get away with it” theory, this is going to blow up in your face.

I admitted last week that I don’t know shit about sports. So to me, I guess I just don’t understand how some football memorabilia is more important than your freedom. Go on eBay, I’m sure you can find some knock offs.

“After being whisked away in handcuffs, Simpson was booked Sunday night on two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit a crime and burglary with a firearm, police said.

“The district attorney said he expected Simpson to ultimately be charged with seven felonies and one gross misdemeanor. If convicted, Simpson could face up to 30 years in prison on each robbery count.

“A judge ordered Simpson held without bail. Las Vegas court information officer Michael Sommermeyer said Simpson’s arraignment was set for Wednesday, with a bail hearing to be held after that.”

[From Yahoo News]

Well here’s hoping. I really doubt OJ would be sentenced to 210 years (oh.my.gosh would that make me happy) but maybe he’ll do some time. I really doubt that it’ll be anything significant, but you never know. The man will shell out some crazy money for lawyers… though I’m not sure how, since theoretically he’s supposed to be living in poverty. But I’m sure he’ll figure out a way to get top of the line attorneys and he won’t do any significant time. Technically he doesn’t have priors, at least relating to murdering people.

“‘We believe it is an extremely defensible case based on conflicting witness statements, flip-flopping by witnesses and witnesses making deals with the government to flip,’ [Yale] Galanter [Simpson’s attorney] said Sunday.

“Beardsley blamed the incident on [Thomas] Riccio [co-owner of and auction house], who he claims told Simpson that his property was in the room in Las Vegas.

“‘If they don’t charge Riccio I will be very upset. That guy lied to O.J. and got him all pumped up,’ he said.”

[From Yahoo News]

I guess Yale Galanter never learned that very basic lesson that we are all responsible for our own behavior. Lying to OJ Simpson about his former possessions doesn’t mean it’s his fault OJ decided to break into a room with guns and steal his old stuff back. OJ getting too “pumped up” and angry has been a well documented problem for him. Along with blaming everyone else for that anger.

A transcript of the recording of the event has just been released.

“An apparent audiotape of O.J. Simpson’s standoff with men he accused of stealing his memorabilia begins with the ex-NFL star demanding, ‘Don’t let nobody out of here.’

“‘Think you can steal my s— and sell it?’ the voice identified as Simpson’s said.

“Simpson was arrested Sunday and booked on charges connected with what police described as a robbery at a Las Vegas hotel. In the audiotape released Monday by the celebrity news Web site TMZ.com, a man believed to be Simpson is heard shouting questions while other men yell orders to the people in the room.

“The recording was made by Thomas Riccio, co-owner of the auction house Universal Rarities, according to TMZ. Simpson has said Riccio called him several weeks ago to tell him collectors were selling some of his items.”

[From Yahoo News]

OJ Simpson is so delusional, and it’s sad that the legal system has given in and encouraged his delusions. It’s also upsetting that he’s become a bit of a celebrity, and people ask for his autographs. It’s just encouraged his delusions of grandeur, and his feeling that he can give in to any whim he wants. I really hope and pray he does time for this, and that history won’t repeat itself.

Update: Here’s a link to TMZ’s copy of the Simpson recording. Not suitable for work.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Simpson being led away in handcuffs by plainclothes police officers in Vegas.

On Friday I promised commenters that I wouldn’t post Simpson’s picture again without putting a “Mr. Yuck” sticker over his head first. I’m not sure I can do that without getting sued by the photo agencies, so I’m sticking it here and you all can visualize it on his face if it helps.

Just when you thought skunk-haired Avril Lavigne could not get more annoying, arrogant or talentless she goes and outdoes herself with yet another interview in which she comes off like a spoiled brat.

She calls people that hate her “losers” which is fine, I mean that’s what everyone does on the Internet when someone doesn’t agree with them so it must be ok.

She also says how generous she is by using the example of donating a bunch of her clothing to Katrina victims. I’m sure there were about 3 preteens displaced by flooding that want to look like punk poser schoolgirls and are as short and little as she is. It’s so gracious of her to think of them. This woman makes millions of dollars and can’t wear clothing twice, that’s a ridiculous example if it’s the best one she could come up with of her charity.

On dealing with her incredible success:
“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me, but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won’t get hassled. But that’s OK. I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope.”

On her competition:
“Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

On her generosity:
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”

On her polarizing personality:
“People love me and people hate me, but I’m comfortable in my own skin and that’s what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you’re the loser, not me.”

[Q Magazine thanks to US Weekly]

WTF is that “I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope”? I didn’t know it was possible to sound that obnoxious and arrogant on paper, but Avril pulls it off every time.

In the press she’s dissed Britney, told a story about how she socked a guy who teased her, and said her husband knew he was lucky to have her. She’s also spit on paparazzi on three different occasions. She’s a shitty pop singer and a nasty person to boot.

I know that people are multifaceted and it might be unfair to judge the celebrities based on their interviews, but it’s easy to tell Avril is a total ass. Some stars seem like genuinely good hard-working people who are grateful for their success, like Jennifer Garner, Matt Damon, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Kate Winslet. Others need lessons in humility and poverty, like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Nicole Richie, Cameron Diaz and of course Avril. I’m sure there are a few more names ya’ll can add to those lists.

When celebrities act like this we can refuse to support them by not buying their records or going to their movies. Avril’s fanbase probably doesn’t read celebrity blogs yet, and I doubt ‘tween girls would organize a boycott or even care that Avril is a stuckup bitch.

Avril is shown on 4/19 at a CD signing. Thanks to PRPhotos.

In a new interview in Elle Magazine, conducted less than two days before Lohan was busted for drunk driving, she says she would not drive drunk and was “much more responsible than that” despite the fact that she was already nabbed for an earlier DUI resulting in a minor accident at that point. She also defended the fact that she’s a media whore, saying she likes the food at the Ivy and will drive down Robertson any time she damn pleases.

She admitted she’s narcissistic, and tells an asinine story about how ex-boyfriend Calum Best caught her looking in the mirror and she said “damn I look good.”

As for her career she says she should “be nominated for an award for all the work I’ve done” and then brings up the fact that she played two characters in Parent Trap when she was 12! That was 9 years ago, the girl is delusional. After hearing how she drunkenly commandeered a guy’s car, ran over his friend’s foot without looking back, and took two guys hostage in a high speed car chase while they pleaded for their lives I didn’t think I could dislike this woman any more, but I’ve found out today that was possible.

On her reputation for drunk driving: “I wouldn’t violate … I’m much more responsible than that. I would not do that.”

On attending rehab at Wonderland before her 21st birthday: “I was growing up and going out a lot, and I needed to have a balance. I was glad I went, because I needed to get away from everyone and I didn’t know how to do that. And I learned a lot there. A bunch of my friends – I was with them last night – they’re in AA for, like, years.”

On her sometimes-boyfriend Calum Best: “I like him. He’s me in male form. We’re very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic – I think all actors have a little bit of that, and so they should. We’ll be kidding around, like the other day when we were in the Bahamas … I was walking by some mirror. And he caught me looking in the mirror and he goes, ‘I caught that!’ I was like, ‘Damn, I look good!’

On her future projects: “There’s this Walter Salles film I really want to do. It’s called On the Road. It has the vibe of that movie The Dreamers […] I want to work with Walter Salles so bad. I had to audition for him. It was the first audition I’ve had since Freaky Friday.”

On the media firestorm surrounding her: “I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel like I’m distracting from the other things that are important, like global warming and that kind of stuff. I genuinely mean that. And I don’t know what to do.”

On avoiding fame: “I hate it, like, when these people say, ‘Well, why do you go to the Ivy if you don’t want …’ Seriously, I like their food! I can’t go to a restaurant? I know I’m going to get pictures taken. I’m fine with it. And I’m going to go have their food. People give you shit for it: ‘Don’t go on Robertson!’ What, I can’t drive down the street?”

On sleep troubles: “I have really bad insomnia. My whole life. I get nervous at night going to bed, and being awake alone really freaks me out.”

On her career aspirations: “I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I’ve done. It’s so funny – people forget that I played two characters in Parent Trap when I was twelve years old.”

[Highlight from September, 2007 Elle interview sent via e-mail]

She also falsely claims she only went out without panties once in Venice, but she did it again that month in London, (link NSFW) hiking her skirt up in the back of a car to show her shaved kitty. She said people digitally manipulate the pictures of her. She also said that she’s just “best friends” with Samantha Ronson.

One moment she claims to not look at nude pictures of herself online and then she goes on to say people alter them to make her look fat. It’s pretty obvious that he does look at pictures of herself from the way she blathers on. Liars often give themselves away with too many details.

What’s up with going commando in public?
Me?
You - getting off a boat, getting out of a car. You need to spend some time on the naughty mat.
It was once, and it was when I was in Venice. And I was rushing through the room, threw the Prada dress on. And that’s what happened. And I didn’t even see the picture. I don’t look at that shit - that’s gross. If I wear a dress I have underwear on.
Denial is not a river in Egypt.
Can I tell you something? If I’m wearing a nude thong, they retouch it. I f’ck around on my computer, I know how easy it is. They make my face look swollen. I’m like, “Are you that bored?” I hear things about the night before that never happened. Like, they said I was dating my best friend - the Samantha Ronson thing. She’s my best friend!

[From PDF File of September, 2007 interview in Elle Magazine. Sent via e-mail]

This girl does know how to stay out of the spotlight as she’s been MIA for over a week. She’s thought to be in an undisclosed rehab. I bet it’s worse for her not to get her picture taken than it is to not be able to drink or do drugs. She was in rehab for well over a month before her latest DUI but there were rumors that she found ways to get high in there anyway. She certainly figured out how to get her photo taken.

When are they going to put this bitch in jail already?

Today’s NY Post says that Lindsay lost a potential contract with Louis Vuitton after repeatedly stealing clothes they outfitted her in for photo shoots. They won’t even lend her items in the future. Gorbachev probably returns all his sample stuff without a problem.

I’m all too willing to break the semi-ban on LohitneyParis stories with the latest news that Lohan was nabbed for DUI again. 45 days in rehab, a voluntary alcohol-detecting ankle bracelet, and all the cash, friends, and help at her disposal and stupid Lohan couldn’t be bothered to have someone else drive for her.

Lohan failed the “walk the line” test according to TMZ after her car was pulled over for chasing a white Escalade at 2:15 AM in Santa Monica. TMZ reports on Lohan’s blood alcohol level and and says she refused to submitted to a breathalyzer. One article says “Sources say her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal limit.” while another says she couldn’t walk a straight line and refused a PSAD, or Preliminary Alcohol Screening Device test. The PSAD is a breathalyzer, so it sounds like she refused a breathalyzer, wasn’t able to walk a straight line, and was hauled off to jail, where she was forced to take a blood test. Let me know if you’re more familiar with the way this process works.

She was said to be cooperative in jail, and was released on $25,000 bail.

The SCRAM people, who monitor Lohan’s ankle bracelet which is supposed to detect alcohol vapors from the skin, say they didn’t even know she was arrested. We don’t actually know if she took a breathalyzer or not. If she refused to submit to one, it suggests she had something to hide. Did she not hook the SCRAM thing up? Did she buy another one, put in her closet, and have the SCRAM people monitor that one?

Not only is she drinking and/or drugging, she’s driving under the influence. How stupid and arrogant can you be? If Lohan’s career wasn’t doomed before, it surely is now.

Update: Thanks to Sycko for pointing out that she was also charged with cocaine possession. The coke was found in her pants pocket when she was booked at jail.

Lohan’s mugshot above thanks to TMZ.

Blogger abuser and moody rocker Jared Leto broke his nose when fans rushed him at a concert in El Paso, Texas. He went on with the show, but got checked out by a doctor afterwards. Leto sustained other minor injuries to his face and body:

True chaos ensued Thursday at the Taste of Chaos tour stop in El Paso, Texas, resulting in 30 Seconds to Mars singer Jared Leto sustaining a broken nose and other injuries.

According to a spokesperson for the band’s record label, Leto was injured when he ran into the crowd during “The Kill” and thousands of fans overpowered security and rushed toward him on the floor of County Coliseum.

Along with his nose, which was unintentionally broken, Leto suffered a foot injury and superficial injuries to his face and body.

Leto finished the show and even declared it one of the best of the tour, but eventually checked into a hospital to ensure that none of his injuries would require surgery. 30 Seconds to Mars are scheduled to perform Friday (March 2) in Dallas.

No fans were reportedly injured.

It looks like someone reads Best Week Ever and jumped on the opportunity to punch Jared Leto in the face when it presented itself. There are many stories of this guy generally acting like an asshole and threatening people. He also really hates blogs because they point out how shitty his music is and occasionally pay attention to all the arrogant abuse he heaps on others.

Aqua-spawn Brody Jenner’s fame whoring seems to have backfired. His father Bruce Jenner clearly didn’t feed the wannabe enough Wheaties … a little more Breakfast of Champions and a lot less empty calories. In a rank amateur gigolo mistake Brody gave a quote-rich interview to Details.:

Brody Jenner says he’s “horrified” by a profile written about him in the new issue of Details magazine.

In the article, Jenner and his best friend/manager, Spencer Pratt, are characterized as scheming to make Jenner famous – partly by dating or befriending famous people, including Nicole Richie, who Jenner briefly dated.

“Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you’re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right?,” Pratt says, as part of the pair’s alleged plan to seek fame. “You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that s–t, bro. You’ll be, like, a f—ng hero to America.”

via People

They likely thought they were coming off as Entourage cool but in fact are up there (or down there) with the Brandon Davis tirade as moving from unknown greaseball to universally-hated D-lister. Do not pass Go – Do not collect Tiger Beat award.

However, Jenner tells PEOPLE that the article unfairly makes him look uncaring about those he truly cares about.

“I have broad shoulders and can handle what is written about me personally but when I am misquoted or mischaracterized as exhibiting a disrespectful attitude towards someone I care about, I feel I need to clarify the situation,” says Jenner. “I genuinely love Nicole… I would never say or do anything hurtful to those I love and respect. I’m sorry it was represented that way.”

Yes Thanks for the tip about your shoulders Brody — broad yet oddly slimy … although in fairness that quote actually has the sound of an articulate defense – maybe even not written by a PR flack.

Still the quote is hard to defend … and anyone who has a symbiont that goes by the slash tag best friend/manager … and whom fate has accurately decreed shall actually be named Pratt - is getting what he deserves. The Urban Dictionary drives home the point:

4. prat
a self-aggrandizing, pompous fuck. Someone who is full of themselves and, almost invariably, stupid as well. With a hint of ‘deluded.’

And even though his Mom defends him:

Jenner’s mother, Linda Thompson, has also come to her son’s defense, telling PEOPLE: “He has always been fond of [Nicole]. He dated her because he really likes her. He doesn’t have to date anyone for any other reason than he really likes them.”

We all know Moms just aint what they used to be … and those that have spawned this generation of privilege pimps should realize that just because they don’t have to do something … doesn’t mean they won’t do anything.

Zombie Gandhi … coming soon to a stadium near you

Also she would like to be an Un-dead John Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus. Satellite Radio really is changing the world not just making Howard Stern richer . These insight into Madonna’s role models, past and future, are perhaps the best example to date of how Sirius Radio is getting us the hot stuff:

Madonna has in the past styled herself after Marilyn Monroe and Eva Perón, but they’re not the ones she hopes to emulate.

“I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon – but I want to stay alive,” the singer said during a Valentine’s Day interview on Sirius Satellite Radio.

via People Magazine

In fact Madonna’s recent tour was a real clue to this future Blonde ambition. The requisite controversy was all about her appearance on a cross, a big disco ball cross, crucified –just like Jesus – but without the spear in the side, dead part. Which if you read above is just where she likes the story to change up a little.

Defending the scene which featured images AIDS orphans in Africa, she says: “Jesus’s message was to love your neighbor as yourself, and these are people in need. I hope that people got that message.

“Of course some people thought shes just being controversal she’s just getting on a cross to piss people off, but that wasn’t my intention at all”

In a further informative aside Mrs Richie talked up the gay thing –cause the kitchen sink wasn’t available:

“Gay men are perfect men for girls who are tough. They’re not threatened by strong women, and they’re usually very in touch with their feelings and pay attention to details. I’ve always had an affinity with gay men.”

So to recap: Madonna wants to be an undead, pro-gay Gandhi/Jesus with a little Lennon and Luther King thrown in. Also please stop AIDS.

Well at least she doesn’t want to make any more movies.

pics via spaceport, Drowned Madonna, and Madonnalicious.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Here are pictures from Madonna’s new H&M campaign, because they didn’t learn that people don’t want to look like Madonna the first time.

Twice the Lesbian of your average original six foot designer Kimillionairre … and at quadruple the price … and covered in bling. And Yes Virginia she will still ‘Beat a Bitch’s Ass’ … but sometimes that’s hot

Kimora Lee Simmons went lip-to-lip with a gorgeous blond woman at Cipriani Upstairs Thursday.

The mystery kisser, who’d been hanging with Simmons at her table all evening, got up on the bar for a dirty dance as the 6-foot stunner shimmied in front of her. Blondie then gave Simmons an eyebrow-raising smooch. A rep for the Baby Phat designer, who was no doubt excited about her show at the tents the next day, says it was “a friendly kiss hello to a party guest.”

Via Jossip

No matter the observable hijinx - PR flacks are on hand to spin down the Ari Fleisher flavored foolishness. Just stare you blatantly in your face and lie like a dog by a fireplace.

Impressive in a day where the PR BS bar had already been hoisted so high by Celebitchy favorite PR flack Sara Forage - who started our celebitchy day claiming that Jade Jagger simply didn’t recall drunkenly hopping all over Virgin first class with fat and filthy friends in tow. She drinks ’cause flying makes her nervous was the best they came up with. Amateur Hour I tell you … Kimora and her PR folks beat that bitch’s ass … she will see your pint of denial and raise you a gallon of her own – with high baby ‘beat a bitch down’ phat content.

Who needs a show in the tents when you got the Cipriani All Girl Revue. No wonder Russell hasn’t pursued that divorce … he’s lucky — the little wizened midget — and should thank the Gods of Olympus and Kimoristan for gifting him a crazed Amazon lip locker to share his McMansion.

or perhaps … Stereopeein’ in public

Proving that even rock singers better watch it gettin’ lippy with the fuzz (well bobbies, or actually coppers) Kelly Jones from Stereophonics has been ticketed and warned for that ultimate weekend warrior sin: public urination

Kelly had been on a night out with friends in Camden on Tuesday when he felt nature call. A source told the Sun: “He was relieving himself in the middle of the street outside the Barfly venue when a couple of passing coppers spotted him.”
Kelly himself added: “I said to the copper, ‘You telling me you never had a piss in the street?’ He said that the people of Camden wouldn’t appreciate me urinating on their streets. I said, ‘I know that. That’s why I live in Fulham.’ He said, ‘I’m taking you in.’”

Sounds like they oughtta have taken him in for doing a bad Bugsy Malone imitation as well: ” You’ll never take me alive coppers … not you and your whole flatfoot crew … Now go jerk yourself a soda copper, I’m busy weeing in the road.”

It must be counted an additional benefit for the UK volunteer incontinence brigade that the ‘coppers’ in London don’t carry guns.

In New York your Stereophonic mouthing off gets you the standard issue Mean Streets beat down and you’ve no one to blame but yourself. In the (increasingly) damp streets of Camden town they just make fun of your hair-cut. Apparently the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy quintet are running the local police academy. I kid you not … the story continued thusly

Kelly claims the officers then started to make fun of his haircut. He explained: “I said to the copper he should have a day off. He said, ‘You just had a haircut? I can see the hair on your face.

Not exactly Carson Kressley quality bon mots … still it’s nice that the Talentless Five have found a new gig. How very Madonna of them to have set up house in England.