Our artist in residence created this original New Year’s illustration for us. He told me he wanted to work Brad in “as either a pattern on the hem of her dress — or in the background holding her purse … but it got a little crowded.”

I think it’s a double play on Angelina’s status as top mommy and vilified home wrecker, but the artist lets us read our own meaning into his work.

Grumpy Old Indian Man made this clever and kind of sad original holiday card for us. Grumpy Old Indian Man will be adding a periodical (probably weekly) celebrity comic strip to the site in the new year. We look forward to his creative and funny take on the gossip.

Grumpy Old Indian Man is back from his jetsetting adventures to offer us another clever celebrity illustration. He notes that Lohan is berry good at getting into trouble lately. In case you’re only a casual observer of celebrity gossip and could benefit from a recap, Lohan penned a poisoned Blackberry e-mailing desperately begging for attention and help from her lawyers, democratic political leaders, and anyone who could help her bring her rambling confused message to the masses. She revealed some sort of persecution complex and blamed an old assistant for all the negative stories in the tabloids about her.

This comes right after a berry scandal of another kind. Lohan and her ilk are said to enjoy cutting their drug of choice - or convenience - with Strawberry Quik.

Grumpy Old Indian man’s illustration is above, and you can view it full on his site.

Quote of the week goes to Grey’s Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington following rumors of a nasty fight on-set earlier this week with some rather offensive comments about pudgy co-star T.R. Knight

“I misspoke earlier … I am soooooo, his little faggot.”

This post was originally published on Grumpy Old Indian Man, and is republished here under a content share agreement. If you would like to link it, please link directly to Grumpy Old Indian Man’s blog.

Note from Cele|bitchy: Grumpy Old Indian Man is DJing at the Yellow Lounge at the Grand Hotel Casino in Lucern, Switzerland tonight. Here’s the invite, which links to a bigger version:

Holy Moly Blind Item

George Clooney and The Ties that Blind

Dateline London: George Clooney at the Tradesman’s Entrance

Following the lead of top UK publication Holy Moly — Vanity Fair, in an unprecedented editorial move, decided its November cover and indeed the entire issue had become irrelevant. The late breaking Clooney News meant it all had to be re-done — regardless of cost or timing. In a move that has stunned the the publishing world Vanity Fair Editor Graydon Carter has pulled all issues of their November Magazine featuring George Clooney on the cover.

The November issue was already available on newstands in L.A. and N.Y.C. as of October 5th — and was scheduled for release elsewhere in the U.S on October 10 … but STOP THE PRESSES. Vanity Fair trucks have been collecting unsold issues for pulping and bird cage lining … and Newstands across the country are on Standby for delivery of the Emergency re-edit.

We spoke to one Upen Piggybhai Patel at New York’s Grand Central Station … where he has been a newspaper and fine publications vendor for over thirty years.

“I first came to know about Graydon’s fixation for relevancy and very nowness from his mother, but still when I hear this recall tamasha I thought he has decided to pull a fast one. Scandal comes and goes … why make such a fuss.

“I mean he signed one after another big banner film stars for his covers and never recalled previously. He has always held Clooneybhai in the highest esteem. He was always looking forward to working with him.”

The shocking news of Clooney’s Ride down the Perilous Hutchence Highway fully banalized the original articles.

Even such formerly fascinating information as the Clooney-esque take on prostitution:

“I’d never seen a hooker in my life, coming from Kentucky and all these girls came up to the car and were like, ‘Baby, want to party? You want to party with me?’ And I was like, ‘Girls love me, man! I ‘m on fire in this town! I should have come here a long time ago! Chicks dig me!’ And Miguel goes, ‘They’re hookers, you idiot.”

Became patently absurd as wastes of glossy page space.

The homo-chic tweak of his manly Georgian views on the hotness that is Clive Owen:

“(He is) the big find in the past two or three years. I think he’s a movie star. He’s, like, a man - there’s a sexuality and a masculinity that I think is really interesting.”

These cologne scented observations — even while nestled between high end folded fragrance samples — now had the resonance and relevance of a breaking story on John Kerry’s Botox use.

What will Graydon bring Forth … now that we all know ?? How will Vanity Fair handle the substantive issues raised by this very contemporary tale of ties that bind? How will Dominic Dunne manage to name-drop while auto-asphyxiating ?

Vanity Fair’s readers worldwide are poised by their mailboxes.

You lucky buggers get to see it here first.

This post was originally published on Grumpy Old Indian Man, and is republished here under a content share agreement. If you would like to link it, please link directly to Grumpy Old Indian Man’s blog.

Hot on the stripper heels of their wildly popular S&M photoshoot for Flaunt Magazine. Scarlett Johansson and Dita Von Teese have decided to give the dirty, old world more of the sort of bounteous charms that the world so seems to love.

The two will be portraying the sexy, soapy, sixteenth century d’Estree sisters — famous in France for their incesty bathtub antics.

Thats right hardly ever Naked Nude Scarlett Johansson combined with almost always Naked Nude Dita Von Teese … in a French Bathtub Frolic. This year Halloween is being held in The Candy Factory, Bill Gates is covering Santa’s Shopping overhead and George Clooney really does want to marry you.

The upcoming film “Mémoires secrets de Gabrielle d’Estrée” (The Secret Memoirs of Gabrielle d’Estrée) will be based on the 16th century diary of King Henry IV ’s mistress and directed by Sophia Coppola — Hollywood’s current go to gal for frothy royal romps.

Speaking eponymously to a grumpy reporter — the much lauded Coppola said, ‘ I’ve been rather disappointed with the lukewarm reception for my Marie Antoinette (starring Kirsten Dunst) — and the inevitable conclusion I’ve drawn is that the snaggle tooth did me in. When casting blondes … you should go for interesting cleaavage not interesting dental presentation.

” I had thought of the Dunst snaggle-tooth as a bit of a dodge around the Hapsburg chin question… quirky but still attractive, but I see now that if you are going to direct a bodice ripper … its best to fill that bodice till its cup runneth over.

And when I think of Bodice cups running over …. I think of Scarlett Johansson!”

SoCo you are not alone in that thought process.

Miss Scarlett herself has famously referred to the generous bodice fillers as ‘My Girls’ and confessed her pleasure in taking the girls out for a stroll down the red carpet. Now in combination with Coppola and Von Teese … its Girl Power Redux.

“Im looking forward to working with Dita, ” continued Coppola, ” She has that terriffic old-fashionedy feeling– so great for historical movies — what with the vintage outfits and retro-hair. She’s like Debi Mazar without the accent –and of course usually without the clothes.”

This post was originally published on Grumpy Old Indian Man, and is republished here under a content share agreement. If you would like to link it, please link directly to Grumpy Old Indian Man’s blog.

Courtney Love appears on the cover of celebrity photographer Dave LaChapelle’s new coffee table book, Heaven To Hell, cradling a skinny look-alike of her late husband, Kurt Cobain, in an image that mimics Mary holding Jesus after his crucifixion. Love’s blue dress is gathered to suggest Mary’s robes and Cobain lies limp on his back with track marks in his arms that are suggestive of Jesus’ wounds. The picture is typical of LaChapelle, who uses sets, costumes, and perfect lighting to achieve provocative and highly stylized images.

Cobain died in suspicious circumstances in 1994. He was found with what was ruled a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, but also had more heroin in his system than it is believed he could have self-injected. Some claim that the details of Kurt’s death suggest that Courtney conspired to murder him with the help of Michael Dewitt, the Cobain’s male nanny. (See, all mannies aren’t benevolent. Here’s Kurt Cobain’s suicide letter vs. Google Adsense.) [via]

This image is gorgeous and is meant to invite controversy. I don’t find it offensive so much as in poor taste. Assuming that Cobain committed suicide, would you pose with a look-alike of your dead husband - in a pose that suggests he’s dying? Then again, Courtney doesn’t really give a shit because she does a lot of things that people would find offensive. At least she’s somewhat sober now.

David LaChappelle’s book is “coming soon,” according to his website.

I’ve been a web designer for nearly 10 years. (Yes, I’m older than 30 but not much.) When I saw the new redesign at the US Weekly website, I thought “Holy crap the designer used yeeeah! for inspiration and sure didn’t change much.,” Yeeeah’s signature look is unmistakable. It looks like US Weekly’s designer used the same core design elements: fuschia accent color and diagonal black-striped bar, and just reversed the header so it wouldn’t be too much of a copy. It’s way too close for coincidence.

Someone at Us Weekly needs to have a serious discussion with their design team. It’s possible that an executive or marketing person said “You know, we really like this yeeeah! site, can you do something like this for us?” You think they could come up with a unique design or pick a site to copy that’s not in the same realm so the ripoff is harder to spot.

Infamous British grafitti artist Banksy, known for sneaking his works of art into galleries like the MOMA, Metropolitan Museum, Tate and Museum of Natural History, has struck out at Paris Hilton by releasing 500 hilariously doctored versions of her debut CD, “Paris.”

That’s hysterical and I can’t wait until photos and tracks from the doctored CD are online.

What the article fails to mention is that Banksy may have a more personal reason to mock Paris. One of his biggest art sales, that of Queen Victoria wearing garters while sitting on a woman’s face, was to Christina Aguilera for over $40,000. While Paris’ debut CD is hardly a threat to Aguilera, with Paris’ CD selling a measly 75,000 copies in the US compared to Aguilera’s 320,000, their albums were released at about the same time. Aguilera’s “Back to Basics” came out on 8/15/06, while “Paris” was released on 8/22.

Once pictures of these CDs come out, I’ll post ‘em here. In the mean time, here are pictures of Paris and Nicky at Pharrell Williams’ pre-VMA party. [via]

Update: pictures of the doctored CD. From Sharl’s Flickr via Oh No They Didn’t.

The Mel Gibson story may be fading from the headlines, but the memory of the uber-rich religious director’s anti-semitic outburst won’t leave our collective consciousness for years. He’s going to be the punchline, the scapegoat, and box office poison for a while. (And C-List actors will keep bringing him up to either support or scorn, whatever suits their publicity needs.)

Cagle.com has lots of clever political cartoons about the Mel Gibson incident. Mel’s career in film and his multiple over-the-top apologies provide plenty of fodder to make fun of him.

Each of the following artists granted permission to post their work here.

Peter Lewis, Australia
Lewisart.biz

Adam Zyglis Buffalo, NY
The Buffalo News
www.adamzyglis.com

Grumpy Old Indian Man Stokholm, Sweden
goyim.wordpress.com

Michael de Adder, Halifax, Nova Scotia
The Daily News
www.deadder.net

R.J. Matson, NY
The New York Observer and Roll Call
rjmatson.com

Mike Lester, Rome, GA
Rome News-Tribune
www.mikedujour.com

Doug Marlette, FL
Tulsa World
dougmarlette.com