HAHAHAHAHA. OMG. Oh, this is just too funny. First of all, Kristen Stewart went to the Met Gala last night… and Robert Pattinson did NOT. There were widespread rumors and reports that this would be their first non-Twilight red carpet together, but it looks like Rob didn’t give a f—k. Which is kind of funny because Rob just got an incredibly lucrative contract with Dior, and I bet Dior would have loved to have on the carpet too.

But here’s something else funny: Kristen is the star of her second ad campaign with Balenciaga. Balenciaga just hired Alexander Wang as their head designer, and Wang is definitely Team Liberty Ross. So Kristen didn’t even both wearing Balenciaga on the carpet. She wore this FUG FUG FUG Stella McCartney jumpsuit. OMG. I know a lot of you are like “No, Marchesa will always be the pinnacle of all that is awful in the fashion industry” and while you make a valid point, Stella McCartney is the worst. Always. She’s worse because A-list celebrities treat her fashion sense like it’s not terrible. Anyway, Kristen’s onesie is terrible, of course. It looks like she’s wearing a diaper. OH AND STOP SLOUCHING.

And because they are the same (!!), here’s Ashley Greene in Marchesa. YES. This is terrible too, obviously. But somehow I don’t think it’s WORSE than what Kristen is slouching around in.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

If we’ve learned anything about celebrities, it’s that having a dog makes them more attractive to the gossip-loving public. Instantly, Bradley Cooper became less milquetoast when he started trucking his rescue pup to interviews. Also quite promising was the canine-centered romance of Amanda Seyfriend and Josh Hartnett when most of the time, those two fail to turn heads (together or separately) without their four-legged sidekicks in tow. So would this work for Ashley Greene? God knows her publicist has tried everything else, and now Ashley is putting the dog-as-publicity-magnet theory to the test by (probably) leaking a story to Star about how she loves her two dogs so much that she can’t bear her time away from them while travelling and living the life of an incredibly famous starlet. So she Skypes with her puppies. Really:

Ashley Greene’s love life is going to the dogs — literally! Despite being one of the hottest starlets in Hollywood, the Twilight Saga beauty prefers face time with her pooches instead of a boyfriend. “Ashley travels a lot for work and misses her dogs,” a friend says. “They’re like her children — she makes her assistant set up a computer so she can video chat with them every day.

The 25-year-old, who dated Joe Jonas and Broadway star Reeve carney, admits that it’s easier to maintain a relationship with her pups, Marlo and Theo, than to find a quality man who isn’t using her for fame. “Sometimes I wish I could just go back to Florida and, like, date my home-town boyfriend,” Ashley moaned to British GQ magazine. At least her doggies’ motives are pure — but their breath may be a different story!

[From Star, print edition, November 27, 2012]

I don’t know — Ashley is generally insufferable for her attitude, but this is kind of cute. I’m totally falling for this story! However, I wonder whether or not her dogs actually realize she’s talking to them through a computer. I’ve got two dogs myself, and if I tried this, I would bet that one of them would actually recognize what was going on, and the other would probably be ignoring me while digging through the house for food. Oh well, it’s probably more for Ashley than for the dogs. Isn’t it odd that she’s got an assistant though? That’s the one part of the story that throws me off the scent.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Here are some more photos from last night’s LA premiere of Breaking Dawn Part 2. We already covered the “important” people from the premiere, Kristen and Rob. This post is for the less important people, obviously. There was a lot of bad fashion at last night’s premiere. A lot of prom dresses and a lot of half-smug, half-worried expressions. Like, the Twilight franchise is going to be the absolute height of many of these actors’ careers. So… enjoy them while they last.

I don’t think Dakota Fanning is one of those people who will be defined by Twilight. She’s a talented actress in her own right, and I think she’ll continue to get work. Unfortunately, she seems to be going through a very awkward phase right now. Dakota wore Elie Saab Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2012 collection – it’s a pretty dress. But her styling is a mess. That brunette shade is not flattering, and her makeup is terrible.

Here’s Elizabeth Reaser in Carolina Herrera. Is she at the Oscars? Did she need to wear this full-on gown? Maybe I’m biased – I really dislike this woman. She’s a horrible actress. She was terrible in her guest role on The Good Wife.

Poor Taylor Lautner. Is he going to have a career beyond this franchise? Poor kid.

Saoirse Ronan in Simone Rocha. I love her. I love her dress. I love her shoes. I love how age-appropriate she is.

Here are your favorite people in the world, the real stars of Twilight! Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz and Nikki Reed. I don’t really have anything against Nikki, but I do wonder what she’s going to do beyond this franchise. Ashley is wearing Donna Karan (she’s the face of the label), and Nikki is wearing Versace. I like Nikki’s dress better. It suits her and flatters her. Kellan Lutz knows you enjoy his Kellan Lutzy purple lapels. KELLAN LUTZ!!!

Elle Fanning in head-to-toe Prada. Look at her shoes!!!

Stephenie Meyer looks pretty good here.

Teresa Palmer has a great body. I’m not sure this dress highlights it appropriately.

And I’ll end it on a high note – Michael Sheen in velvet! He just does this crap for the money, you know? I love him.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ashley Greene covers the new issue of Manhattan Magazine – and I think it’s a joint venture/publication with Miami Magazine too, but I’m not going to analyze too hard. Can I just say? This is a terrible pictorial for Ashley. Maybe another girl would have been able to pull it off, but these angles for Ashley and her face are particularly harsh and unforgiving. I liked the way she was photographed for GQ UK last week – she looked pretty and sexy in that photo shoot. Not so much in this one. As for the interview… we all know that this girl is very full of herself. In her mind, she is definitely as famous as Kristen Stewart. In Ashley’s mind, she’s the real star of the Twilight franchise. In Ashley’s mind, all of the Twihards want HER, they want to know about HER life. So… just get into that mindset when you read the interview. Here are some excerpts:

On one of her favorite actresses: “I love Cate Blanchett. She’s extremely classy and has this knack for taking on roles and being very, very strong, but also embedding vulnerability. She has this relatable quality. I like the path she chose.”

Greene didn’t have much of a modeling career: “I am clearly not tall enough,” says the 5-foot-5 Greene of her attempt at modeling at 17, although her mother encouraged her to build her confidence by taking modeling/etiquette classes. Eventually that led to a commercial class, and then an acting class, where her teacher’s fervor for the craft ignited her own. “I fell in love with it and my teacher was so passionate about acting and teaching, I saw how in love he was with the whole world.”

She loves Audrey Hepburn: “I mean, I’ve seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s a million times and I never get tired of it!”

Her dream role: “Marie Antoinette. I love period pieces,” she says. “Or an action film that’s female-driven.” And the resolute Greene means James Bond, not a Bond girl!

Dealing with Twihards: “We hadn’t done anything yet and the fans were so invested [in the books].” The attention has been the only thing that has scared her during the past four years. “I was in Sweden touring with Rob [Pattinson] last year, and we literally had to be ushered out the back because fans got so excited it became a safety hazard. They were pushing on barriers and literally they grabbed us and yanked us. It was a little frightening.”

She’s so super-famous now: “Two days before I left to start filming, me and one of my best friends, Katie, were sitting at our place and she gave me a card and I started crying because I thought, this is going to change the rest of my life.”

Playing Jennifer Garner’s daughter in Butter: “When I got there I was intimidated, but Jennifer came right up to me and was so sweet and really welcoming, so thank God for her.”

Ashley thinks she’s very courageous: “Courage isn’t the lack of fear, it’s acting in spite of it,” she says. “As human beings we’re a work in progress and you learn things about yourself every day. You have to constantly keep working towards a better version of you. You have to look at the positives, because it’s a hard industry.” Her love affair with New York City inspires her positivity and challenges her to take on more: “I like the energy—it’s so contagious and I feel like you just have to be productive here. It’s very artistic and inspiring.”

Being grounded: “The greatest thing about my parents is that they love me and support me. You need someone who is going to help you make that better version of yourself. I need someone who is strong but supportive and who loves me—someone who isn’t afraid to call me on my sh*t.”

Dating: “I would love to date someone outside the industry,” says Greene. But, she points out, “It’s hard to relate to someone who hasn’t gone through the same thing as you.”

[From Manhattan Magazine]

Cate Blanchett? Audrey Hepburn? Marie Antoinette? Girl, please. Right now she’s praying that Michael Bay casts her as “the T&A” of one his dumb action films. THAT is where her career is. I mean, I’m sure she can find the odd ensemble where she’s the sixth lead down and maybe she can get a few more “screaming girl with no bra” parts in some slasher movies, but really – her career is now at “Did Michael Bay call back?” level. Let’s be real, Ashley.

Photos courtesy of Manhattan Magazine.

Did anyone else completely forget that Ashley Greene and Chace Crawford used to go out? CB reminded me of that – they dated in 2009, around the time when Ashley’s naked photos “leaked”. But according to Us Weekly, they’ve known each other for seven years, and they’ve probably been fooling around all that time. Us Weekly claims that following Ashley’s split from Reeve Carney, she’s been hitting up her ex/friend-with-benefits for a while now:

Ashley Greene is on the rebound: she just split with her beau of 10 months, Reeve Carney, in August and she’s been cozying up to CW star Chace Crawford. The two were spotted smooching at the Gossip Girl wrap party in NYC, at the club Tenjune on October 20.

“They hook up whenever she’s in New York,” says a source. Their history dates back to Crawford’s days at Pepperdine University in Malibu, when he met Greene, then an aspiring actress in LA.

“They’ve known each other for seven years,” says an insider of the duo. Notes a pal of Crawford, “I don’t think they’ll get together for real. They keep it casual.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Poor Chace. He’s like the forgotten Gossip Girl. People only really pay attention to Penn Badgley and Ed Westwick, but Chace exists! And I think he’s probably a lot dirtier than people think. Remember how Shauna Sand told Star Magazine that she deflowered Chace when he was only 18 years old? Yeah. When you’re first time is with Shauna Sand, you know that boy isn’t as clean-cut as you’d think. Haha, Ashley is dating/fooling around with someone who banged Shauna Sand. Ugh.

Photos courtesy of GQ UK, Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Ashley Greene covers the December issue of GQ UK. Incidentally, I can’t believe we’re already talking about the December issues of magazines! This year flew by! 2012 Life Lesson: Everything goes by faster when you’re gossiping about dongs. Anyway, I kind of like this photo shoot. I mean, it’s a men’s magazine so of course they’re going to go for “sexy” over “interesting styling and makeup choices.” That being said, these are some of the prettiest shots I’ve seen of Ashley – she should pose for more men’s magazines rather than women’s mags. Of course, the interview is typical Ashley Greene crap. From the way she talks about herself and her enormous, crushing fame, you’d think she was more famous than Kristen Stewart and Angelina Jolie combined. Some highlights:

Ashley on men using her enormous fame for their own gain: “When I’m dating a guy and he says, ‘I don’t want press’, and then says, ‘Let’s go to Katana for dinner’ – I’m like, ‘Really? You don’t want to just walk down the street to some dive? You don’t want to get photographed but you want to go to a place where you know there’s paparazzi?’”

Dating is super-hard when you’re famous: “Dating is a hard, hard thing when you have this job. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to Florida and, like, date my home-town boyfriend. It’s really frustrating whenever I can’t go and do something because I know it’s going to be on the internet.”

She can’t even hang out with dude friends or her brother: “It’s really frustrating whenever I can’t go and do something because I know it’s going to be on the internet. Like if I go to a friend’s house, they’ll be, ‘She’s dating him!’ It’s like, ‘Oh, am I dating my brother now? Is that what’s happening?’ Or when they write that I was with a ‘mystery man’, and I’m like, ‘He’s gay, by the way, so it is a mystery!’”

On drinking and tweeting: “The worse thing you can do.”

[From GQ UK & Fanshare]

Just last week, Us Weekly announced that Ashley and Reeve Carney had split up, and from the collective “meh” that the news garnered, I’m guessing that most people didn’t care one way or the other. I also think Reeve and Ashley probably broke up a few months ago and Ashley just held off on the announcement, searching for a jumpoff so that she could look so, so desirable. I mean, obviously I think she’s full of herself, but I guess there are a lot of dudes who would love a chance with her. The problem is that most of those dudes are probably pretty douchey, you know?

Photos courtesy of GQ UK.

HAHAHA. I’m sorry, I just read the coverline for Ashley Greene’s November cover of Marie Claire. Hahahaha. “What’s next for the world’s most beautiful vampire?” FOR REAL. How could Marie Claire’s editors use that without chuckling to themselves? “Ha, check this out, Maude. Ashley Greene’s publicist is making us put ‘beautiful’ in the coverline. HA!!” You know what else is great? Ashley is now trying to take a page out of Blake Lively’s famewhore girl-guide: the interview takes place during a private cooking lesson, with Ashley emphasizing her amazing culinary skills. Ashley Greene = the new Blake Lively? I could see it. The article also mentions Ashley’s extraordinary, breathtaking, mind-numbing beauty many, many times, and even compares her (favorably) to Scarlett Johansson and Anne Hathaway. You really have to wonder what they’re smoking at Marie Claire, right? Anyway, some highlights:

On Kristen Stewart’s affair with Rupert Sanders: “That is off-limits,” she says sternly, adding with emphasis, “really.” (The studio is rumored to have put a gag order on all the Twilight stars, though at last check the couple appear to be reconciling.)

The early Hollywood years: When she arrived in Los Angeles at 17, Greene was just another super-pretty model-actress who paid her dues waiting tables, booking bit parts in middling shows like Crossing Jordan and MADtv, and befriending other attractive up-and-comers, like Gossip Girl’s Jessica Szohr. “It was definitely hard,” Greene recalls, methodically pinching the edges of her tart crust. “But nothing positive comes out of being bitter. You just have to keep on working.”

On being on the celebrity fast track: “It was a hard adjustment going from zero to 100 in a day. But it was also hard to talk to [friends], because you don’t want to be a jerk. After the movie [Twilight] came out, some people said, ‘You changed.’ And I said, ‘I haven’t changed, dude. Your opinion of me has changed because I’m working on this film.’ Trust me, my parents would let me know.

On the challenge of focusing on both career and personal life: “I’m always here and there – everyone in my industry is – and that’s why a lot of relationships are fleeting. I’ve gotten very good at detaching whenever I have to go away for three months, which I realize is hard on friends and kind of selfish. You go on a couple of dates, and then someone ships off to do a movie. It’s not like you’re going to fly out and see them, because it’s not serious enough for that.”

On traveling first-class for Twilight and being a working actress: “Twilight has ruined me. When this is all over, flying internationally is going to be very hard for me. It is just not worth it to buy a first-class ticket, because of the cost. I’m lucky because my dad taught me to be frugal and save. And that’s important because I want to know that I don’t have to take an acting job for two or three years if I don’t want to and that I’ll still be able to make my house and car payments and buy food for my dogs.”

[From Marie Claire]

I love that Ashley always get the questions about how her life has changed because of the enormous success of the Twilight franchise, and Ashley consistently answers those questions like she’s got the starring role, like she’s playing Bella and in her mind, all of the Twihards really do care about her and not Kristen Stewart. And she could have slid some dirt in there about Robsten, but she avoided taking the bait. I don’t know how I feel about that – I probably would have yelled at her if she had said something harsh, but I would have secretly loved it. I can’t wait for Kellan “Kellan Lutz” Lutz to get questions about Robsten. It will be epic!

Photos courtesy of Marie Claire.

These are some photos of the female stars of Butter, at the screening of the film in New York City last night. I just asked CB if it felt like Jennifer Garner had been promoting Butter for the past two years, because that’s the way it feels to me. We’ve seriously been covering photos and interviews in promotion for this film for a LONG time. The film finally gets a limited release next Friday.

Anyway, onto the fashion! Jennifer Garner wore Gucci… which is fascinating to me because Blake Lively currently has a Gucci contract. Cough. At first glance, the dress reminded me of that famous red Prada that Jennifer Aniston wore to the Emmys more than a decade ago, but really, this dress isn’t anything like it (except for being a shade of red, and strapless). While I like that Jennifer Garner went with a bold color, I think she would look better in a blue-red rather than this orange-red. She also needed to steam the dress. Oh, and she looks so much cuter when she does not flat-iron her hair and part it down the middle – this hairstyle isn’t flattering her face at all. Something nice: her body looks great! I love her arms.

Olivia Wilde wore Alexander McQueen – I really like this. It suits her, it flatters her, and I think Olivia has been looking really, really great lately. Maybe it’s because she’s in love with Jason Sudeikis and everything has come together? Or maybe she just found a great stylist.

Ashley Greene wore Donna Karan – she’s the face of the label, and she’s been wearing a lot of Donna Karan over the past year, to mixed results. I kind of like this on her too, even though it’s bridesmaid-y and it sort of washes her out. And it’s kind of matronly for someone so young, but I still kind of like it. I could actually imagine Jennifer Garner in this. And say what you will about Ashley’s nose (is it a nose job? I’m not so sure), but Ashley has GREAT hair. Her hair is super-pretty.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

It just struck me as I was looking through these photos of last night’s LA premiere of The Apparition: Ashley Greene is the brunette Blake Lively. A pretty girl who is all hustle and hype, with not that much substance. We can bicker about the levels of hustle and hype, for sure – Blake Lively is superior in that sense, mostly because of the dudes she dates. But there are lots of comparisons to be made between Ashley Greene and Blake Lively. Sidenote: I will also accept comparisons of Ashley to Kellan Lutz!

Anyway, Ashley has been dying to be a full-fledged movie star for a while. You may know her from the Twilight franchise (don’t ask me who she plays – somebody with a really awful wig, right?), and from her infamous statement in which she compared herself to Angelina Jolie… because she was in a love triangle with Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas. For real. Anyway, just like with Blake Lively, I kind of admire Ashley’s hustle. She works hard at her celebrity status. She wants it. This is what she’s been working for: to the biggest “name” on a red carpet, at her own starring vehicle (a budget-looking horror flick).

So how does Ashley perform when it’s her turn to shine? It’s not bad, actually. I kind of love this Donna Karan Atelier dress. It even looks like something Blake Lively would wear – but I think I might like it more on Ashley, a brunette. It really compliments her coloring, and I love the lipstick choice. She has really nice hair too, although I personally would like to see her go a few shades darker. Ashley is the face of Donna Karan these days – I wonder if Donna made this dress for her, or if Ashley just had her pick of the best Donna Karan frocks? Either way, this look is a winner for me.

PS… The one thing I dislike is the too-big cocktail ring. I think it’s a cabochon sapphire (with matching earrings)? It seems gaudy.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Perhaps this morning’s news of Kristen Stewart getting it on with her SWATH director has breathed a little bit of fresh life into the Twilight franchise — of course, that’s a terrible thing for me to say, but it true. While there’s going to be plenty of backlash (as there should be) for KStew, this could be the perfect PR coup to pull the Kristen-Rob Pattinson romance into the final stretch of the Breaking Dawn: Part Two promotion.

Meanwhile, Ashley Greene is still puttering around Hollywood in search of her big breakout, post-franchise role. (Dare I say that she’d love to be in the midst of KStew’s current scandal? Of course she would.) Greene covers the August issue of Nylon to promote her upcoming role in The Apparition, and I have to say that I do like this photoshoot much more than her usual pose-hard routine. The clothes are casual, and Ashley looks young and funky just like she should, but she’s still pretty full of herself in the interview. Here are some excerpts:

She’s an actress, not a celebrity: “I got [to my casting], and there were cameras all around me. Everyone’s so obsessed with celebrity, I think more than ever before. It’s the instant gratification of it — the tabloids an the Internet and the camera phones. We’re just so infatuated with it that basically everyone is a stalker. I was like, ‘Just let me do my damn job!’”

She’s a method actress too: On believing in ghosts (or not): “That was one of the more difficult aspects [while filming haunted house thriller The Apparition], because I try to make everything as realistic as possible; I want to experience what the character is experiencing. So to make myself believe there was something after me…it was a dark time.”

On her own life experience: “Growing up, I didn’t have a hard life. Luckily, people are not the greatest in L.A., so once I got here and my heart was broken and people stabbed me in the back, I could use that to feel vulnerable.”

She kept her waitress gig after booking Twilight: “I was working at the Belmont Cafe in L.A., got the call, and two weeks later was rehearsing. Right when I was cast, my IMDb STARmeter went through the roof — all of ours did, and we hadn’t even done anything yet!. I asked my boss if I could have my job back after the shoot. He was like, “I don’t think you’ll need it but OK.”

On being typecast: “It’s not like, ‘Oh, you’re the quirky best friend-slash-sister.’ There’s no stereotype with Alice. And she doesn’t really look anything like me, with the pixie cut and the white makeup. So to be put in a box, I’d kind of have to do it myself. And I’m not going to do that.”

[From Nylon Mag

Eh. I don't really think there's a danger in the supporting Twilight cast getting typecast (unlike with Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner) after the franchise meets its inevitable end, and I think it's going to be more of a case of their largely limited talent hitting a wall. Primarily Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, and (to a degree) Jackson Rathbone will all have issues in the struggle not to fade away unnoticed. And yes, Greene too will fall by the wayside as well and be replaced with another attractive up-and-coming actress. Even if she does look great in this magazine photoshoot!

Photos courtesy of Nylon Mag