Cameron Diaz made a triumphant return to the red carpet last night to attend the LA premiere of her film What Happens in Vegas. It was her first public appearance after the death of her father at age 58. Diaz issued a statement after her father’s death and also wrote a longer letter to her fans explaining why she wouldn’t be able to do the press and some European premieres for her new film What Happens in Vegas. She wrote “Due to the loss of my father, I have chosen to be with my family this weekend. But it was important for me to convey to all of you how much I love this film.” She also thanks everyone for their support and said she was screening the film with her family because they needed a good laugh.

Cameron wore a tight short red dress with a flat bow around the stomach and black heels. It wasn’t my favorite outfit, but she gets a pass for what she’s gone through. She looks gorgeous. Her co-star Lake Bell wore a silver metallic dress that was just a tad too short along with tan platform heels. Ashton Kutcher was unshaven and messy in a plaid jacket and polka dot tie. Also shown at the premiere are Eva Longoria, who still looks pregnant to me, Diablo Cody, Brooke Burns, and Bai Ling in a spider outfit. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Here’s the trailer for What Happens in Vegas, which opens in the US on May 9. It looks funny and I love Rob Corddry.

I used to think that Demi Moore was so lucky to have landed a hot piece of ass like Ashton Kutcher, particularly after being married to Bruce Willis. Now it seems like he should be grateful to have found someone who will tolerate him and his strange habits. He recently revealed that he likes to pee outside practically everywhere, and as a mother of toddlers it sounds to me like he needs toilet training.

The Dude, Where’s My Car? funnyman admits he likes to join his dogs when they empty their bladders in the morning outside the home he shares with his wife Demi Moore.

And he blames his weird toilet habit on his desire to bond with the earth and feel like a “caveman”.
He says, “I pee outside, outside my house, in my yard. I usually start off my day by taking my dogs out. While they go, I go.

“That’s probably my least appealing habit. I just feel like I’m connecting with nature, I bond and feel like caveman. Man, tents, cave, pee, bush.”

Contact Music

The tabloids have been speculating that Demi Moore would like to have a baby with husband Ashton, but I think they’re wrong – after three girls, she must be terrified of having a boy that takes as long to get out of nappies as his father.

She might also be worried that the child inherits its father’s webbed feet.

The What Happens in Vegas star took his socks and shoes off on Friday Night With Jonathon Ross to confirm he has abnormal toes.

He said: “I have slightly webbed toes. When everything else is this good-looking, something has to give!”

stuff.co.nz

Actually, everybody starts out with webbed toes in utero and they come apart as the baby develops, so its very common to have webbed feet, but I don’t really feel like cutting Ashton any slack today.

Last month he revealed his first sexual experience was awful.

He said: ‘It was out in the woods and it was horrible. It was a girl I’d just met who my buddy set me up with. The whole thing lasted like two seconds. It was really awkward. Two years later, I had sex with her again just to show her that the first performance was a fluke and I’d got much better.’

Metro

Okay, so that little revelation refers to a time in the distant past, and we can only assume that he has improved sexually. Why else would Demi put up with his creepy webbed toes and antisocial toileting habits?

Just in case you weren’t sure that he is indeed not a desirable man, here’s a little article he wrote for Harper’s Bazaar, where he manages to come off like a total dick in his list of things that make a woman attractive. Here’s a snippet: “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money.”

Ashton, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but women earn their own money now, some of them even get paid more than men.

Way back in 2004, Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K Stern came up with an idea for a show called “Celebrities Strike Back.” The treatment, which was submitted to E! and registered with the Writer’s Guild, had Anna Nicole and other celebs turning the tables on the paparazzi with staged events to see if the media would pick up the stories. Sound a little familiar? Well it’s pretty darn close to Ashton Kutcher’s new show for E! called “Pop Fiction.” In it, celebs… turn the tables on the paparazzi and media to see if they’ll pick up the stories. Like when we all started writing about Paris Hilton wandering around L.A. with some crazed guru. Who was revealed to be an actor after a very short period of time – but we all thought the joke was on Paris, not us. Boy that sounds freakishly similar.

Ashton’s show sounds like a carbon of Anna’s treatment — “…what happens if Anna Nicole Smith and other celebrities turn the tables and capitalize off of the overzealous media? What if the next big supposed scandal is not a scandal at all? What if everything is staged, but the media (and the public) don’t know it?” It continues, Anna Nicole and other celebrity guests take aim at the media and push all the limits.”

That’s Ashton Kutcher’s show and we’re told Howard K. has already threatened suit. What is really pissing him off is that he and Anna had multiple meetings with E!. Two months ago, Stern spoke with E! again on behalf of the estate and the network seemed intrigued by making Larry Birkhead the celeb to do the first prank and then host the show. Ultimately Jay James said it just wouldn’t work. Oh really?

[From TMZ]

I never like to give Howard K Stern credit for anything if I can, but it sure seems like he could have a pretty legitimate lawsuit on his hands. This show seems pretty much up Ashton Kutcher’s alley, and it’s entirely possible that he or someone at his production company came up with the idea without ever knowing about Smith and Stern’s show. It’s also possible that E! liked the idea but didn’t like Anna for the project, and once she passed away brought the idea to Kutcher. Either way, the common denominator is E! They knew about Anna’s show and are airing Ashton’s show. They’ve made a ton of money off her in the last few years, and should have been more respectful.

Remember last week, when Paris Hilton was seen around town with a guy dressed like a shaman? That story turned out to be fake, but that wasn’t the whole story. Paris and her fake guru were part of a new reality prank show on E! Network called “Pop Fiction.” The show is executive produced by Ashton Kutcher and the premise is this: what if celebrities who are hounded by the paparazzi decided to ‘fight back’ by faking stories of their own? The goal of show, according to producers, is the shake up the paparazzi and celebrity gossip mags, to make them think twice about printing news. It’s like a vigilante version of “Punk’d.”

The half-hour show featured two segments. The first was Paris and her fake guru. Paris, in an interview, says that she decided to participate in the show after a fake item ran about her starting a charity to help save drunken elephants in India. That rumor was actually picked up by the AP News, and they were later forced to print a retraction. The show pointed out that within hours, news of Paris and her guru was all over the Internet and the subject of blogs around the globe.

“Next time you read the tabloids, ask yourself if it’s real or if it’s pop fiction,” she warned.

In the second segment, pop singer Avril Lavigne led on the paparazzi by sporting a fake baby bump while shopping on Robertson Blvd. in L.A. She predicted that she wouldn’t be able to walk one block without being submerged by paparazzi. “Robertson is where you go when you want attention,” she said. (Are you listening, Britney?) She then waded through paparazzi with her husband and some friends to shop at Baby Kitson and Lisa Kline Kids, trendy boutiques featuring kids’ clothes. She was quick to call her mother and warn her that she might see pictures or read about Avril’s pregnancy, and that it wasn’t true. Twenty minutes later, the show says, there were photos of Avril all over the Internet confirming her “pregnancy.”

Life & Style Magazine reports that Avril Lavigne went out of her way to hide a suspicious belly bump while eating at the Beverly Grand restaurant in Los Angeles on March 13th. “She insisted on putting on her jacket before she got out of the car,” an eyewitness revealed. “When she did get out, it was like, ‘Whoa,’ she looks so pregnant!’” The 21-year-old singer is currently engaged to Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, 25.

[From Popdirt.com]

As a member of the so-called “gossip rag” militia, I have mixed feelings about this show. Here at Celebitchy, we really want to get the information right. We are probably one of the few gossip blogs that will correct our facts if we get them wrong, and we often have a “take this story with a grain of salt” attitude. But we’re well aware that Celebitchy is in the minority on this philosophy. These kinds of pranks are going to make it more difficult to get our facts in line, but I certainly understand the concept behind them. The paparazzi and many gossip outlets definitely overstep their boundaries these days and continuously cross the line into obscene amounts of privacy invasion. The actor who played Paris’ guru hit the nail on the head when, after the pair are swarmed by cameras, he says, “I would probably be the guy who punches a paparazzi.”

I wonder if Ashton Kutcher will continue to get high-profile celebs involved in the pranks on the show. I also wonder if anyone is actually going to watch this show: it’s on at 10:30 on Sunday night. On E! Network. Not exactly a ringer in the ratings department, if you ask me.

Note by Celebitchy: We covered that Avril Lavigne story, but it wasn’t a very original concept. A married pop star sports a little bump and goes shopping at baby stores at the largest paparazzi-target shopping area in the world. Of course people are going to say she’s pregnant. They need to step it up a little if they want to create decent shows. The Paris Hilton guru story was pretty interesting. JayBird covered that Avril shopping for baby clothes story and was quite subdued about it, she said “I would say the traditional ‘Congrats to the happy couple,’ but with someone like Avril Lavigne, she’s probably apt to punch me in the eye for it.”

No one really gives a shit about Avril except to say she shouldn’t reproduce.

JayBird reported earlier today that Ashton Kutcher has a new reality show in which he pulls pranks on the paparazzi and gossip media. Paris Hilton’s whole outing with the Swami guy was really just a staged prank that she was in on for Ashton’s upcoming show, in which he punks the paps and the gossip rags by planting fake stories. (You have to give props to JayBird because she thought that it was Paris who was being Punk’d by Ashton when she saw those pictures, and it turns out that the truth wasn’t far off.)

Kutcher’s new show is a great idea. He says he’s doing it because the gossip press is “a feeding frenzy,” and that the way they spread conjecture is damaging not just to the celebrities, but that it’s also “at the expense of the population, because they’re being sucked into it, too.”

It’s going to be called Pop Fiction and will cover the way that Ashton manipulated the media to report specific stories. In fact they’re trying to keep it under wraps because there are stories already out there that are completely made up by Ashton and his celebrity friends. We’re excited by this concept and it’s great to see someone expose how the gossip press works as well as show how we’re regularly fooled by fabricated stories.

So I was wondering which recent gossip tidbits were planted by Ashton and his friends, and I tried to figure out who he might have conspired with.

Cameron Diaz was the first one who came to mind, and she definitely knows Ashton because they just finished shooting What Happens In Vegas together. Today there’s a story that Cameron and Diddy are a new item. This sounds totally suspect to us, and I hope it’s one of Ashton’s fake stories:

According to a witness, the pair arrived and left separately through the kitchen to avoid being photographed, but once safely inside the restaurant, they shared a booth and appeared to be on a date. “They could just be friends, but it looked like more.” the onlooker says. “They sat very close to each other.”

[In Touch as reported on MediaTakeOut]

Here are the other stories I think Ashton planted as part of his show
Rumer Willis and Orlando Bloom
Rumer is Ashton’s step-daughter, and I bet he arranged for her to get all kissy-face with Orlando at Prince’s Oscar party so that all the tabloids would report that they were together.

Orlando Bloom Smells
This story was too funny, and it sounds completely made up, but it’s not the typical fabricated story you would find in a gossip rag. Orlando’s friend supposedly said that his new girlfriend Miranda Kerr is grossed out by him because “he’ll wear the same jeans for a week,” sleeps with his dog, and rarely showers. You can see Orlando and Ashton making this one up.

Paris Hilton’s “find a friend” reality show
This one sounds too good to be true, and I bet it was. Since Ashton admits a collaboration with Paris on the guru story, I bet he helped her cook up this reality show concept too. Only it’s never going to happen.

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden
Please let these two be the product of Ashton Kutcher’s imagination. A lot of people wondered why they were showing up all over town together holding hands, and maybe it’s because they’re trying to Punk us. They seem to be overdoing it, though. It could be true publicity-whore love.

In related news, Wilmer Valderrama said at the beginning of February that he was done womanizing and that “You want the media to focus on what you are creating.”

Let us know which other recent stories you think might be the product of Ashton and crew. This could get interesting.

Update: Many of you are pointing out in the comments that the Kate Hudson pregnancy rumor could be one of the stories planted for Ashton’s show. Kate is a friend of Ashton’s and recently went to his 30th birthday party. If they orchestrated that rumor by having Kate wear loose outfits for weeks, I have to give them a lot of credit because that was genius. My personal feeling is that they didn’t set that up, but if they did they really pulled it off.

Ahhh, the joke’s on us. Remember a few days ago when Paris Hilton was snapped wandering around L.A. with some supposed guru? We thought the joke was on Paris, because the guru is actually an actor. And Paris is pretty dumb. And desperate to seem deep and relevant. So it seemed like a pretty sure thing. I noted, “There’s no way to ascertain whether Paris knows [“guru” Maxie] Santillan is an actor or if she thinks he’s really a monk. I really really really hope this is for an upcoming episode of Punk’d or something. Which I don’t think is even on anymore, but if there was anyone who deserves to be Punk’d, it’s definitely Paris. She’d laugh like she was in on it the whole time, but only because she has no idea what’s going on, and in that type of situation it’s always best to laugh.” Well it turns out it is a joke – but not on Paris, on the rest of us. Paris was actually in on the whole thing.

Paris Hilton had an improbable dinner date in L.A. Saturday: a gray-haired, orange-robed “shaman” who blessed her and urged her to give a diamond necklace to a total stranger. “He’s really changed my life,” Hilton told paparazzi from her car, adding she offered the necklace “because the greatest gift is to give.”

Turns out, as some outlets later discovered, the “mystic” was an actor named Maxie Santillan Jr., who has appeared on CSI and My Name Is Earl. And though some accused Hilton of getting Punk’d, the joke’s on them: The entire scene was staged for a new show from Punk’d producer Ashton Kutcher premiering Sunday on E! (10:30 ET/PT).

Pop Fiction, an eight-episode series, is a prank show targeting paparazzi and gullible media outlets. It’s made with the eager help of stars, who were the laughing stocks of Kutcher’s former MTV show. This time the shoe’s on the other foot, and the series has been kept so tightly under wraps that E!’s own website fell victim to the Hilton hoax and other planted stories that producers won’t yet divulge.

[From the Huffington Post]

Tricky bastards. That’s freaking amazing that they managed to pull one over on their own network. And to do all this without any of the paparazzi figuring it out is pretty impressive. How in the world did they disguise all the cameras? I guess they probably made the show’s cameras look like they were part of the paparazzi. Really, the big tip-off (besides the fact that the guy’s an actor) was Paris giving away her diamond necklace. I could definitely believe she’s wander around with a guru thinking it would make her look good. But there’s no way in hell you can convince me that Paris Hilton would give away a real diamond anything. You have to give credit where it’s due: that Ashton Kutcher is one sneaky dude.

Paris is shown out with her “Shaman” on 3/1/08.

I have been consistently impressed by the relationship between Demi Moore, new husband Ashton Kutcher and ex-husband Bruce Willis. Though you hear a lot of unpleasant things about Moore, you can’t argue that she’s been pretty mature about her divorce and friendship with Bruce. Some people have said they just do it for the kids, like that’s a bad thing. How in the world could it be a negative to keep up a friendly relationship with your kids’ other parent? Bruce and Demi are occasionally spotted out having lunch together, so it seems like they are genuinely cool with each other.

This weekend Demi had a birthday party for Ashton’s 29th, and keeping to form, the whole family was invited - Bruce included.

Ashton Kutcher’s 29th birthday party was nothing if not unconventional.

The Punk’d star rang in the occasion with his wife 45-year-old wife Demi Moore - and her ex husband Bruce Willis.

The unlikely trio dined at a LA restaurant on Saturday, along with Demi and Bruce’s children Rumer, 19, Scout, 16, and 13-year-old Tallulah Belle.

Far from being uncomfortable, Ashton and Bruce, 52, appeared to revel in each other’s company and even indulged in a moment of playful wrestling.

[From the Daily Mail]

Demi recently commented on the transition the entire family went through when she and Ashton got married. She was incredibly generous in her descriptions of what everyone went through. “It wasn’t a piece of cake. It wasn’t automatic or easy. It took diligence and effort and even enduring awkwardness, and a lot of general giving on my part and Bruce’s part. And really, tremendously, on Ashton’s part.” Though their family unit is certainly unconventional, can you imagine how much better a lot of divorced kids would feel if their parents had been that cool with each other? Though Bruce and Demi’s daughter Rumer gets a lot of crap for her appearance, you generally don’t hear about their daughters much in the media. And frankly if any celebuspawn of parents that famous were misbehaving, you know the paparazzi would be all over it. It shows that being decent to each other can only do good.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s the family (minus Scout LaRue) at the Live Free or Die Hard premiere. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Unlike the Funny or Die videos, which have a point and are usually actually funny, this Christmas video from Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore isn’t funny or even mildly amusing. In fact I just watched the whole Alvin and The Chipmunks movie with my kid and found that drivel easier to sit through than five minutes of this annoying video. This movie includes a lot of swearing that isn’t necessary or well placed, there’s a gratuitous sex scene with Ashton and Demi, and the entire plot, loosely based on the writer’s strike with a Christmas theme, makes no sense.

So Santa has to take a temp job when the elves strike, hits bottom after the death of frosty the snowman, writes a screenplay and then is on top again? It makes no sense and when you factor in Ashton’s obnoxious acting it’s just painful to sit through.

This is coming from the guy who brought us Punk’d, which had its moments, so you would expect him to be able to create a short clip for the web that’s worth the time it takes to watch it. This reminds us why the real writers need to get paid. Maybe that’s why Demi and Ashton made this video, to remind us that we’re in for months of completely worthless junk like this if the WGA doesn’t get a fair deal.

Today in delusional celebrities: Rumer Willis thinks she’s famous. And her fame is a big responsibility. According to her. The girl best known for looking a lot more like her father than her mother dropped out of college last year and has since become an actress. I think when your parents are Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, you can in fact become an actress in under six months time. None of Rumor’s movies have come out yet, so calling herself an actress is a bit of a stretch. But the Moore/Willis clan has always been known for their hubris. So far it seems Rumer is still most famous for being the kid of someone famous – not exactly time to phone the editors at People to tell them your tips for handling fame. But common sense never got in the way of self-promotion.

Rumer Willis is ready to accept the ’round-the-clock responsibility of being famous. Presented over the weekend with a Rumer Willis Polly Pocket Doll – which she helped auction off for $5,500 to charity – at the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation’s annual Dream Halloween benefit in Santa Monica, Calif., the 19-year-old (and eldest) daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, joked, “I feel like I’m really famous now.”

But when it really comes to the fame game, Willis – who has become a gossip-blog fixture in recent months – tells PEOPLE, “Before I started working, I would have said, ‘You know, it’s not really fair, because I didn’t choose this.’ But when you decide to be a part of this profession and put yourself out there, then you kind of have to accept what it is.” Willis says that her famous parents – including stepdad Ashton Kutcher – aren’t worried about her, even though being a celebrity means having a very public life. “I think they know that I’ve had great role models,” she said.

Still, notoriety does offer its obstacles. “It’s a 24-hour job,” she says. “It doesn’t matter if you are going out to a restaurant – you have to be aware of what you are doing and how you look and how you are presenting yourself, because most of the time people never get to know you.” But at its heart, she says of celebrity, “Being famous isn’t going to parties … it’s about being able to use the power that we all have to kind of give back.”

[From People]

Giving back? When was the last time that family was known to give anything back? I haven’t really heard one way or the other about Bruce, but for the last fifteen years I’ve heard how completely rude Demi Moore is to fans and people in general. There’ve been reports of her snapping at customers in restaurants who she thought were looking at her (God forbid). The kids are supposedly spoiled and rude too, though I’ve heard Ashton is remarkably polite. If so, it must be pretty embarrassing to be seen with this clan. I’m guessing all the middle-aged sex and Demi’s great knees make up for it though.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Rumer at the 14th Annual Dream Halloween Fundraiser for the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation on October 27th. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Quite often an actress will take their husband’s name privately, if not professionally, when they get married. It happens less often that an actress takes her partner’s name two years after their wedding has taken place.

Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher in 2005. But she’s just getting around to officially taking his name on her driving licence and credit cards.

A source told In Touch magazine, “Demi did this for Ashton. She knew that this was something he wanted, so she finally made the switch.”

That means Demi will be Mrs Kutcher on her black American Express card, her passport and other documents, but in her working career, she’ll keep her name from her first marriage to Freddie Moore.

New Zealand Herald

Demi’s birth name is actually Demetria Gene Guynes, not quite as catchy as Demi Moore on a movie poster.

Demi Moore is the name the actress will be using when working, although she recently complained that at her age (44-years-old, in case you were wondering) there are no good roles for women.

Demi said in an interview with Red magazine: “It’s been a challenging few years, being the age I am, with so much focus now on how I look. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don’t know what to do with me. I’m not 20. Not 30.”

“But I’m certainly different from what most people feel someone in her 40s should be. For many female actors, who turn 40, it means the end of their career, it’s time to retire. There aren’t that many good roles for women over 40. A lot of them don’t have much substance, other than being someone’s mother or wife. If we are told we are not valuable once we hit 30, it is a problem. We all have more to give. We just can’t bend over and wait for something to happen.”

AHN

Demi, you are approaching the half-century mark. Don’t go looking for those roles for 20-30 year old women, you can’t compete. Dare I suggest you were never that much of an actress to begin with? There are at least a fair amount of roles for older women, but the roles for older women trying to look 25? Maybe you shouldn’t have spent the rumored $500,000 on plastic surgery, and instead asked your surgeon to make you more like Helen Mirren.

Note by Celebitchy: I think Helen is being kind of harsh to Demi. She has a good point that there aren’t a lot of roles for older women, and that there is ageism in Hollywood. JayBird suggested in a post about that issue that Demi start her own production company and make her own roles.

Demi is shown at New York Fashion Week on September 6th in Bryant Park. Images thanks to PR Photos.