This ^ is a photo of Olivier Martinez and Nahla Aubry in Maui yesterday, enjoying the last moments of their Hawaiian holiday. Olivier, Nahla and Halle Berry flew back to LA yesterday, and I’m including some of the photos of their departure from Hawaii at the end of the post. Apparently, upon their arrival at LAX after their relaxing holiday, Olivier turned violent and he attacked a paparazzo. Just FYI: after doing this job for years and spending a lot of time looking through paparazzi photos, I know that there are many paparazzi who simply hang out at LAX, waiting for flights to come in because they’ve gotten tips that certain celebrities will be arriving. I think the paparazzi have to stay in one area (the main entrance) to photograph celebrities. My point is that if you’re a celebrity and you’re arriving at LAX, you know for sure that you will be photographed. Even Meryl Streep gets pap’d at LAX. So, with that in mind, this is what happened:

It was a rough landing in Los Angeles for Olivier Martinez. Halle Berry’s fiancé got into a physical altercation with a paparazzo after arriving at Los Angeles International Airport Monday night from Hawaii with Berry and her daughter, Nahla, E! News has confirmed.

According to eyewitnesses, the trio were making their way out of the terminal when they were swarmed by photographers as they came down an escalator. During the ensuing mayhem, Martinez allegedly assaulted the shutterbug by kicking him in the leg and wrist.

Reportedly, the photographer later grabbed Martinez by the arm to ask to why the 47-year-old actor kicked him, a move that seemed to incense Martinez further. After the actor put Nahla in a waiting SUV, he purportedly stormed back to the photographer and kicked him again.

Berry, who had earlier told the barrage of paparazzi, “Get away, there’s a child,” then grabbed her fiancé and asked him to get in the vehicle.

Airport police and an ambulance subsequently arrived at the scene. E! News has reached out to LAX police for comment.

The incident is a double-take of sorts for Martinez: Last Thanksgiving, he got into fisticuffs with Berry’s estranged baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry, who claimed that Martinez threatened to kill him if Aubry didn’t consent to allowing Berry move to France with Nahla.

Aubry eventually secured a restraining order against Martinez, but not before the dustup left him with a gnarly black eye and a broken rib.

[From E! News]

One argument to make is that Olivier was simply defending his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s daughter from a swarm of paparazzi, that Nahla might have been frightened by the flashes and the men yelling her name, and that it’s gross to think of grown men swarming Halle and her daughter. That argument is totally legit, and it IS gross. There is another argument to make, though – that Olivier is violent, that he has a short fuse, that there were lots of other ways to handle this situation, that LAX is no stranger to high-profile celebrities and they could have easily gotten a security escort. Ugh.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

I should point out that we still don’t really know what went down between Chris Brown and Frank Ocean on Sunday in West Hollywood. There was a parking spot. There were two entourages. There was a punch thrown. There was an entourage scuffle. The police were called, and they only spoke to Frank and not Chris, so they’re going with Frank’s side of the story right now. As I said yesterday, I have no problems believing that Chris Brown started the whole thing. He’s proven time and time again that he has a hair-pin trigger and some very serious rage and violence issues. But here’s the question posed by Hollywood Life & Media Takeout: did Frank Ocean “start” the issue by trash-talking Rihanna? Or did Chris “start” the altercation by dropping some homophobic slurs?

After Frank Ocean and Chris Brown brawled outside of Westlake Studios in Los Angeles on Jan. 27, reports from both camps have been pouring in, attempting to assign blame on one another. A new report says that during the altercation, Frank insulted Rihanna, causing Chris to see red and lose control, knocking Frank unconscious!

A source close to Chris, 23, spoke with MediaTakeOut.com, saying that, after the two crews began arguing in the parking lot, a member of Frank’s entourage, believed to be Frank, 25, himself, “said something to the effect of, ‘Rihanna’s a HOE.’”

The source says that Frank’s slam towards Rihanna, 24, led Chris to lose control, going straight for Frank when the two groups started physically fighting. Chris allegedly knocked Frank unconscious, after he punched him repeatedly in the head. It was at this point that Frank’s friends carried their unconscious buddy inside the studio and called the police. Chris and his crew left the scene before police arrived.

A source close to Frank spoke exclusively with HollywoodLife.com, telling us that it was Chris’s choice of words that escalated the fight. Our insider said that Chris said, “F*ck y’all gay a** n***as,” to openly-gay Frank.

Our insider continued, “Yeah, Chris’ car or whatever car he was rolling in was in a reserved spot. But no one was blocking him and security told him he couldn’t park there and that’s when some fool from his crew got wild and started acting crazy and tripping out on everybody. It was just crazy because they know better but they are so hood and it makes no sense. It’s sad.”

[From Hollywood Life]

I am seriously more confused now than when I started writing this. The first source – the one claiming that Frank Ocean called Rihanna a “hoe” – is that source from Team Breezy or Team Ocean? Or is it just some bystander? Because at first I was like, “Oh, Chris’s defense is that Frank trash-talked Rihanna? Seriously?” But then it took a turn, like the source can’t even believe that Chris beat the crap out of Frank Ocean for calling Rihanna a name.

As for the second version of events – which has Chris dropping some slurs as the instigation – that seems so believable. Bossip was on top of this version too, speaking to a legal expert who claims that if Chris really did drop those slurs as part of some kind of physical attack, it’s not just assault – it’s a hate crime. Which would be amazing, if Chris Brown was charged with a hate crime. Because that young man is FULL OF HATE.

Oh, and he’s not just full of hate. He’s also full of s–t. This is what he Instagram’d last night with the message “Painting the way I feel today…Focus on what matters!” Yes, Chris Brown feels like Jesus. For real.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, Frank Ocean’s Instagram and WENN.

Just when I’m saying to myself, “Ah, this is going to be a good day – everyone is being really subdued after an awards show, there won’t be any famewhore eruptions,” that’s exactly when Chris Brown strikes. Literally. He STRUCK Frank Ocean. According to TMZ & Us Weekly, Brown assaulted Frank Ocean in West Hollywood last night.

Another day, another violent feud for Chris Brown. The 23-year-old has been accused of physically assaulting fellow R&B star Frank Ocean at a West Hollywood parking lot on Sunday Jan. 28. A report from the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department confirms that “Chris Brown and the victim were involved in an altercation over a parking space. The altercation allegedly led to Chris Brown punching the victim,” with Brown and Ocean’s respective entourages being separated after a brief tussle.

Although the LASD does not mention the Grammy-nominated Ocean by name, he tweeted about the incident himself. “got jumped by chris and a couple guys. lol,” Ocean, 24, wrote. “cut my finger now I can’t play w two hands at the grammys.” Ocean’s debut album, channel ORANGE, topped many critics’ Best Albums of 2012 lists, and has been nominated for six Grammys.

Brown’s past assaults include his 2009 pre-Grammys attack on girlfriend Rihanna and a 2012 club brawl with Drake. Back in July 2012, the “Don’t Wake Me Up” singer denied reports that he directed a homophobic slur against Ocean, who had recently revealed that he was bisexual, and that his first love was a man.

“My Opinion on the whole Frank Ocean subject is ……… Love who u wanna love. It’s ur decision,” Brown tweeted at the time. “People stop searching for BS.”

[From Us Weekly]

I’ve never been one to believe the “theory” that Chris is on the down-low – that “theory” came about around the time Chris beat the hell out of Rihanna, with some suggesting that Rihanna was trying to peep his phone to see what MEN he had been in contact with. But I don’t think he’s on the down-low. I think he’s heterosexual. And I think he’s still really violent and rage-y and he has a history of saying nasty things about gay people, and dropping homophobic slurs like they’re nothing.

As for this story – TMZ has some other details… let’s see…TMZ’s sources (Team Breezy sources) claim that Ocean started it because Chris was trying to leave Westlake Studio and Ocean and his crew “blocked Chris from leaving.” A source claims Frank Ocean told Chris, “This is my studio, this is my parking spot.” When Chris went to shake Ocean’s hand, Ocean’s people attacked Chris and then Chris’s people attacked Ocean’s people. The cops were called and TMZ says that the cops spoke to Frank Ocean because he stuck around and that Chris threw the first punch (shocking) but that no one has pressed charges and no arrests have been made.

Now, do you believe that Chris Brown got into a fight that he did NOT start? Do you think Frank Ocean and his crew tried to step up to Breezy? No. I don’t believe it.

Chris Brown has been posting photos to his Instagram in the wake of the fight too. The one from the studio included the message “Working on my album. Not working on negativity. Focus on feeding ya family. Bulls–t will forever be in the shadows.”

Photos courtesy of Chris’s Instagram, WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Sometimes when I’m in “work mode,” I’m just skimming stories to see if there’s anything worth covering. When I came across Page Six’s top story this morning, my immediate reaction was to chuckle because all I skimmed at first was “Naomi Campbell… attacked… Paris.” I thought, “Of course. Of course she attacked the city of Paris. Of course she brought out her bedazzled phone and gave the city of Paris a major beatdown. Because she’s Naomi Campbell!” Alas, that’s not what the story actually is. Naomi was the VICTIM! After years of handing out beatdowns and whoop-asses, Naomi was attacked by unknown assailants in Paris several weeks ago, and she is still suffering from injuries now, weeks after the attack:

Naomi Campbell suffered a leg injury when she was violently attacked and robbed on a Paris street, multiple sources exclusively tell Page Six.

The supermodel was set upon by thugs as she tried to hail a cab and was “knocked over and robbed,” we’re told. She suffered a torn ligament, and reported the incident to French cops.

One source said, “It was terrifying. Naomi believes the assailant had been watching her, casing her out, and waited for a moment to strike when she was alone. She was attacked in the street as she hailed a cab, and robbed.

“Her leg was injured as she was violently pushed to the ground. She was understandably very upset and shaken up,” the source said. It is not known what the thugs stole from her, but it’s believed they were targeting expensive jewelry she may have been wearing.

The beauty’s billionaire boyfriend, Vladimir Doronin, immediately flew her by private jet to Vail, Colo., where she was treated by J. Richard Steadman, one of the top orthopedic surgeons in the world and the founder of the Steadman Clinic, which has treated many athletes, including Alex Rodriguez.

Naomi, 42, has been using a wheelchair and crutches to get around following the attack, which happened over a month ago. Our source added she has not spoken publicly about the assault nor told friends, at the request of French police who are hunting down the thugs.

We are also told Doronin has upped security around Naomi, as a precaution.

The model’s spokesman and agent declined to comment. When reached by phone, the Naomi said, “I am sorry, I do not talk to press, but I am fine.”

Naomi has remained positive since the attack. She has been tweeting inspiring messages and threw a New Year’s Eve bash at her house on Miami’s Star Island. She’s now resting in Miami and preparing for next month’s launch of her TV show “The Face.”

[From Page Six]

The only little conspiratorial buzz I have is that I find it hard to believe that Naomi ever, ever rolls without an entourage. You know? I just find it unlikely that she would be alone, on a Paris street, hailing a cab. She is known for rolling with a huge entourage at all times, and I also think it’s kind of bizarre that she wouldn’t have her own car and driver, and that she would be hailing a cab? But if her assailants were watching her for a while, maybe they just struck at exactly the rare moment when Naomi was alone. As for her injury… poor Naomi, and I hope they catch the dudes who assaulted her. At least she’s putting on a brave face. And karma, etc. I feel kind of bad for yelling “Karma!” about this and truly, no one deserves to be attacked… but honestly, Naomi has a history of beating the hell out of people, so I feel pretty justified in saying it. Karma.

Also, I kind of hate to say this, but over the years, I’ve really grown more and more attracted to Vladimir Doronin. Um… he’s really sexy. And he’s crazy rich. And he’s probably afraid that Naomi is going to beat the hell out of him one day too.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Sam Worthington was arrested on Sunday in Atlanta, Georgia. Ugh! At first I misread the story and I thought he was arrested for DUI, but thankfully, Sam was not behind the wheel. The basic gist of the story, via TMZ, is that Sam is in Atlanta shooting a movie called Ten with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sam had a night off (I guess) and he was trying to enter an Atlanta club called Vortex. Sam was already really hammered when he was trying to get in and “the people at the door felt he was too intoxicated” so they refused him entrance. Not only was he apparently visibly intoxicated, but he didn’t have any ID with him, so yet another reason why he didn’t get in the club.

After he was refused entrance, Sam “became disorderly” and he “allegedly pushed the doorman twice and the doorman responded by pepper spraying him and putting him in cuffs until the cops arrived.” Sam was charged with disorderly conduct, but the charges were dropped Monday morning because the “complaining witness” (the doorman) didn’t show at court. Then this happened:

Who knew … Sam Worthington is a method actor … because right after he was pepper sprayed in Atlanta this weekend, he claimed he was a DEA agent and threatened the bouncer who maced him — so claims the very pissed off bouncer.

The bouncer — Jerry Link — tells TMZ, he maced Worthington when the actor went belligerent outside the bar … and Worthington screamed, “I’m a DEA agent! You f**ked up now!”

FYI — Worthington is playing a DEA agent in the movie he’s currently filming in the ATL.

Link tells us, Worthington rolled up to Vortex Bar and Grill in Atlanta, wearing a dirty hoodie and carrying a bunch of clothes … and everyone thought he was a homeless person. Link says he refused to let Worthington inside because he was too drunk.

TMZ broke the story … Worthington was arrested for disorderly conduct after allegedly pushing Link in retaliation.

The charges were dismissed this morning because Link was a no-show in court. Link is calling BS … because no one asked him to be there.

And this is funny … Link (clearly not a movie person) tells us, he had no clue Worthington was famous until today — “I’ve never seen ‘Avatar’ or ‘Terminator.”

You’re not missing much.

[From TMZ]

So… I think we can safely say that Sam was really f—king wasted. I’ve been that wasted before, and thankfully I didn’t punch anyone or get pepper sprayed, but I’ve been so drunk that I could see myself being all “OMG I’M A DEA AGENT GET OFF ME.” Of course, that was in my misspent youth (my early 20s). Sam is 36 years old – too old for these kinds of drunken shenanigans, in my opinion. I wonder if there will be some damage-control rehab in Sam’s future, or whether he’ll just chock it up being “real” and an “authentic Aussie” or something.

PS… What kind of busted mugshot is this? Was this thing taken with a Vaseline-covered disposable camera?

Photos courtesy of WENN, mugshot courtesy of E! News.

I tend to underestimate the interest in stories about casting couches and who “got the part” for reasons other than “talent”. I’m trying to figure out why so many of you are so fascinated by the stories and why I’m almost always just kind of “meh” about it. Am I really jaded? Could be. I think the casting couch is a real thing, and I think we see the effects of horny producers making terrible casting decisions all the time in Hollywood. But I do think we should differentiate between the casting couch and the simple fact that – at least in my mind – people in Hollywood hook up and sleep with each other a lot. Like, I think the majority of producers, actors, directors and assorted personnel treat the Hollywood experience as a chance to bang as many people as they can. So, does every affair between an actress and a producer or director automatically equate to “casting couch”? Eh, not really. It depends.

But this story is particularly creepy, and it’s not the kind of story that even little ol’ jaded me could throw some shade on. Susan Sarandon says that in her early days as an actress, she was pretty much sexually assaulted when she came in to audition for a role:

Susan Sarandon isn’t afraid of letting her skeletons out of the closet! The 66-year-old actress opens up to Elle magazine in the November 2012 issue about a “disgusting” casting-couch experience that happened in her younger years – and RadarOnline.com has the details.

“It was not successful – for either of us,” Sarandon admits, when asked if she had ever had a casting-couch experience.

“I just went into a room, and a guy practically threw me on the desk. It was my early days in New York, and it was really disgusting. It wasn’t like I gave it a second though, it was so badly done.”

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, the Academy Award winner also defended her romance with her much-younger boyfriend, ping-pong entrepreneur Jonathan Bricklin.

“People make him out to be much younger than he is – and me older,” Sarandon “wryly” explained to the fashion magazine, clarifying that he is 35, not 33 as the media has widely reported.

[From Radar]

Ugh. I kind of don’t understand what happened in between “the dude threw me on a desk” and “he’s disgusting and it wasn’t successful” – did she slap him? Did she fight back? Did she kick him in the balls? Did she laugh at him and threaten to slice him up? How did it stop being a story about a horrible sexual assault and become a tale of some pathetic dude in her youth? And no, I don’t consider this a casting couch situation. This is straight-up sexual assault. I would love to know what Susan Sarandon would do with someone like Michael “You Have to Wash My Ferrari While I Videotape You” Bay.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ain’t no drama like a crack drama. And ain’t no crack drama like a crack mama drama. Which is exactly what we’ve got on our hands at this point. TMZ reports that Dina Lohan and Lindsay Lohan (Mother Crackhead and her Cracken daughter) got into some kind of violent altercation last night/this morning. They were clubbing together (HOW SHOCKING!) at the Electric Room in NYC, and they started arguing in the car on the way home. The argument “escalated” when they got home, and… well, it got really, really crackie:

Lindsay Lohan and mama Dina were in a blowout, violent fight early this morning, that ended in a 911 call with cops rushing to the scene … TMZ has learned.

It started last night when the duo went to a nightclub in New York City. Our photog says they left the club at around 4 AM and headed back to Dina’s home in Long Island.

Lindsay and Dina started arguing in the car and it escalated when they got home. We’re told it became physical with Lindsay sustaining a cut on her leg. We’re also told there was property damage — including a broken bracelet of Lindsay’s — that occurred during the scuffle.

Cops are still on scene.

TMZ has a photo of Lindsay with a random clubgoer, which was taken before the fight started … at Electric Room, the nightclub inside the Dream Downtown — the hotel where Lindsay allegedly hit a dude while pulling into the garage.

6:11AM PDT — We’re told the 911 call was a domestic violence call. Sources say in one of the 911 calls to cops … the caller said Lindsay was being held against her will by Dina and the driver.

6:26 AM PDT — Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … cops took a Domestic Incident Report but no arrests were made.

[From TMZ]

Oh, GAWD. This is only funny when you think of how Steve Honig/Dina Lohan is going to play it. No, that’s not true. It’s funny in general. I’ll admit it, I’m laughing right now, as I’m typing. I’m just imagining how f—king cracked-out that argument was, with Dina on a mixture of alcohol and pills, and Lindsay all coked up, and what is there to fight about? Money? Prostitution? Ali’s mysterious South Korean trip? And of course Lindsay claimed she was being “held against her will.” What did Dina do, put a bag over Lindsay’s head? “OMG I’M TRAPPED! KIDNAPPING!!!” And so the crack-enabler becomes the crack assailant. Such is the crackie circle of life.

Anyway, I’ll update if there’s more information. This should be good.

UPDATE: Per TMZ: “Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ … Dina was “wasted” at the nightclub. We’re told the fight started when Lindsay wanted to take her limo to her NYC hotel, but Dina wanted to take it to her home in Long Island, to avoid paying for a taxi. Somehow Dina prevailed, over the intense protests of her daughter. We’re told Dina scratched Lindsay’s leg in the process.” That’s the “violent altercation”? A scratch on LL’s leg? I can’t wait to hear what Steve Honig has to say.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

As many of you were discussing in yesterday’s Cracken post, Lindsay Lohan and some dude got into some kind of “scuffle/beatdown” situation in her hotel room on Saturday night. The details of exactly what went down are varied, and I think it’s safe to say that some people are experiencing temporary memory loss because of the drugs and alcohol involved in this completely sketchy situation. Let me be clear: I am not condoning violence, nor do I think that smacking or choking Lindsay Lohan is ever going to be “the answer” to her problems. That being said, I’m finding it really difficult to NOT blame the victim a little bit in this situation, especially because the subtext of this story is “LL went all twitchy and crackie on one of her johns and she stole his phone, so he choked her.” The dude sounds like a total d-bag too, of course. Because the Cracken has horrible taste in men:

The drama never ends with Lindsay Lohan. The Liz & Dick actress, 26, was seen partying at 1Oak nightclub in New York City September 29. While there, she met a man, Christian LaBella, and invited him back to her room at the W Hotel.

Once there, the two got into an argument after Lohan learned LaBella took photos of her on his cell phone, according to NBC New York. When Lohan took possession of his cell phone, LaBella reportedly punched and choked the Parent Trap star. Police sources tell NBC New York Lohan pulled the hotel’s fire alarm after running from her room.

On September 30, the New York City police department confirmed to Us Weekly that 25-year-old LaBella was charged with assault and harassment. “Police were called to the W Hotel, following a phone call for assault. We took the man into custody shortly after 6 a.m. and he was charged this afternoon.”

Upon further investigation, police dropped the assault charge. LaBella has filed a harassment complaint against Lohan.

“Lindsay was assaulted early this morning in a New York hotel. While she did sustain some injuries, she was not hospitalized,” the actress’ rep told Us. “Lindsay has spoken with police and is fully cooperating with the investigation.”

[From Us Weekly]

TMZ initially reported the story straight out of Team Lohan’s side – they said Lindsay was “in shock” with what went down and that she wanted “to see the guy who allegedly attacked her early this morning prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.” When Lindsay grabbed his phone, she saw that he had taken “over 50 photos and videos” and he had been emailing them to friends. Radar says the initial charges against LaBella are for misdemeanor assault and harassment, which is a “violation”. But then TMZ confirmed that the charges against LaBella had been dropped. Because why the F not?

So, theories as to what exactly went down? I don’t think LaBella was one of her johns. I think he was just partying with Lindsay and her crack team of sycophants, and Lindsay saw that he was taking videos of their drug-and-alcohol-fueled party, and Lindsay had a cracked-out hissy fit. And then it all went crazy, and LL thought she could be high-handed (so to speak) and get him charged with assault and she could play the victim… but then LaBella was like, “Oh, I’ll just tell the cops about A) the drugs, B) the probation violations or C) the prostitution.” That’s just my guess.

Oh, this dude, LaBella… he’s a Republican who staffs Rep. John Shimkus. LaBella has photos of himself with vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan. The NYDN has even more crackie details of the complete cracktastrophe here.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Is it any secret that Alec Baldwin is full-on rage-monster full of anger, contempt, volatility, bile and RAAAAAAGE?!? Yeah. I think the cat’s out of the bag on that one, and even though Alec pretends that his yoga-instructor fiancée helps “calm him down,” The Rage Monster still lurks. The Rage Monster waits, patiently, for any opportunity to RAGE!!! And The Rage Monster came out this morning in NYC. Alec and Hilaria Thomas were in NYC getting a wedding license. When they came out of the office, Alec basically lost his mind and started going after a photographer for the New York Daily News. It’s the truth – look at the photos here. Here’s the NYDN report:

An enraged Alec Baldwin punched a Daily News photographer in the chin Tuesday morning for snapping his picture outside the city Marriage License Bureau. The volatile “30 Rock” star popped lensman Marcus Santos once in the face outside the Worth St. office after apparently obtaining a license to wed fiancee Hilaria Thomas.

Santos was standing innocently with two other photographers when Baldwin, 54, approached with an angry glare.

“He was looking mad,” said Santos. “He said, ‘Step back, step back.’ I said, ‘We’re moving back.’”

Baldwin then grabbed a second News photographer, Jefferson Siegel, and Santos told the “Rock of Ages” star to back off.

“I said, ‘Don’t touch him,’” the 42-year-old Santos said. “I knew he was going to attack me. I stepped back, and he kept coming. “He comes after me, starts shoving and punching me — one time, right in the chin. And then he started shoving me, and pushing me. Then he goes the other way.”

Eyewitness Goran Veljic said Baldwin’s face filled with rage as he went after the shooters.

“He was like crazy, you know?” said freelancer Veljic, who takes photos outside the office every day. “There was an eruption of mad. … You’re going to get a marriage license, you should be happy. What happened with this guy?”

Baldwin, whose first marriage to Oscar-winning actress Kim Basinger ended in a contentious divorce, had seemingly found serenity with his younger yoga instructor. But his notorious nasty side surfaced on the otherwise happy occasion as Baldwin stormed away without saying a word. Thomas, 28, was not with Baldwin when the punch was thrown.

[From NYDN]

I think this is exactly what happened. Even if the NYDN didn’t have photographic evidence, I would be completely willing to believe that Alec Baldwin lost his sh-t on several photographers for literally no reason. But of course, Alec has a reason! Alec got on his Twitter account to tell his side of the story. Some of his tweets from today:

[Via Alec’s Twitter]

So Alec’s story is that a paparazzo “almost hit him in the face with his camera”. Thus, RAGE MONSTER ATTACK!!! Yeah. Not buying it. Also, I think the “if the offending paparazzi was wearing a hoodie and I shot him, it would all blow over” reference is in extremely poor taste. Alec Baldwin lost his s–t over a paparazzo, as he has done many, many times before. It wasn’t about race, or a slain child, or a community reeling from a devastating loss – it was about Alec being full of rage. Let’s take down the drama.

Here’s one of the NYDN photos:

Photos courtesy of WENN and Jefferson Siegel/NYDN.

You know what? I think Star Magazine is pretty ballsy for putting John Travolta and Masseur-gate on the cover this week. This was one of my biggest complaints about the 2010 Mel Gibson-Oksana Tape-gate saga – every single day, there were new tapes which Radar dutifully put online, and everyone grew more and more horrified, but there was total silence from even the most gleefully trashy tabloids, like Star Mag (Radar’s sister publication – they’re owned by the same company). At least with Masseur-gate, the print media is paying attention and actually reporting on it week by week.

Anyway, as for Star Mag’s actual cover story – they do kind of go off in a weird direction. According to Jezebel’s tabloid highlights:

Kelly Preston has been flooded with phone calls and texts from friends and family, asking if she’s okay. Rumors of Travolta’s gayness have circulated since 1990 — that’s when Paul Barresi, a gay porn star, claimed that he and John had sex for years — from 1983 to 1985.

But John married Kelly in 1991, and a source says she signed a contract when they got hitched. It was an arrangement, see, and Kelly knows that JT is gay, but she’s cool with it. Although his lawyers deny it.

Anyway! Star, as they are wont to do, called a random family member — Linda Carlson, Kelly’s mom — and she says: “Please don’t believe the trash out there, It’s such trash. Absolute rubbish. They couldn’t be happier.”

[Star via Jezebel]

Is it wrong to believe Star’s story? I think there was a contract involved. I think Kelly and John know each other very, very well.

As for Masseur-gate… when one case closes, another one opens. Or something? Radar reports that yet another dude is coming forward, claiming that John “groped and fondled” him. The catch? This guy isn’t a masseur – he’s an employee of a gym. Let’s call him John Doe #3 – but he’s the fourth guy to come forward in total. Doe #3 says he would open up his gym “after hours” for Travolta (because of his schedule). A source close to Doe #3 says: “The gym was opened as a courtesy to John Travolta so that he could avoid the public yet maintain his fitness in this physically challenging role that he was doing at the time. The gym employee says that John Travolta groped and fondled him against his will.” Sounds about right – and God knows, Travolta does seem to love all things gym/spa/bathhouse/massage-related. Travolta’s lawyer Marty Singer says: “As a result of the published lies about my client we expect some ‘John Does’ to come out of the woodwork and assert false claims.” Blah.

Meanwhile, by now you’ve heard that the first plaintiff, John Doe #1, was dropped by his lawyer, Okorie Okorocha. Okorocha first amended the lawsuit after Doe #1 changed his story, then the lawyer just dropped Doe #1 completely and dismissed the first lawsuit. BUT!!! Gloria Allred has gotten involved, y’all. I know everyone hates Allred and everything but my mother said to me once: “If somebody groped you, I would want you to go to Gloria Allred.” So, Allred has now taken on Doe #1 as a client, and she released a statement yesterday:

“I represent John Doe #1. Mr. Doe’s lawsuit was dismissed without prejudice which means that he is still legally entitled to file another lawsuit against John Travolta if he chooses. We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take. Our client and our firm has no further comment at this time.”

[Via Radar]

Allred’s entrance into Masseur-gate makes this less about the legal technicalities of man-on-man sexual assault and more about Allred going in for a major money grab. When Allred is through talking to the press about all of Doe #1’s claims, Travolta will be begging to throw money at the problem.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.