On Monday afternoon/evening, TMZ reported that John Travolta was being sued by a masseur (a male massage therapist). The masseur claimed that Travolta groped him thoroughly during a massage at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Travolta – through his lawyers – jumped on the lawsuit and issued denials far and wide, claiming that Travolta wasn’t even IN LA at the time of the alleged incident. Go here to read yesterday’s story, including my background information on Travolta’s VERY ALLEGED history with gay spa sex. Oh, and here’s a bizarre update to that story: Travolta (through his lawyers) claimed that he wasn’t even in LA on the date of the first masseur’s groping/assault. Last night, Travolta’s lawyers released a Mr. Chow bill from NYC to “prove” that Travolta wasn’t in town. They also seem to have provided TMZ with one of the weirdest Photoshopped images ever – go here to see it.

So, yesterday, in the midst of the Met Gala fashion explosion, Radar reported a new twist. According to Radar, Travolta is being sued by a second masseur who also claims that Travolta got quite handsy (and then some) during a massage at “an unspecified resort in Atlanta, Georgia on January 28, 2012.” This second masseur has the same lawyer as the first dude too! Once again, the language and imagery are pretty graphic, so if you’d like to read all of Radar’s story in all of its gory NSFW details, go here. The basic gist: the second masseur claims that during a deep tissue massage, Travolta started jerking off. There are some really gross details, but this part made me sad: “Sweat was pouring down Travolta’s neck, and he asked Plaintiff again to say something nice to him.” Poor, sad, sweaty Travolta. Also, Travolta was pretty much begging this guy to do a lot of “work” on his glutes and he was trying to maneuver his butt in a certain way to ensure… well, you get the picture. After that, Travolta allegedly grabbed the masseur and groped him.

Beyond the sex stuff, you know what I find interesting? How a common thread to all of these stories seems to be “everyone knows John Travolta gropes masseurs.” This second plaintiff claims that he asked a co-worker to take the in-room massage but the co-worker refused because “Travolta has been banned from a spa that the coworker used to work at in Los Angeles.” And after the masseur was assaulted, he complained to his bosses “to no avail” and Travolta even demanded that the masseur come back and “finish” – which the masseur refused.

And this time, Travolta can’t claim he was out of town – everyone knew he was in Atlanta, working on Killing Season with Robert DeNiro. As for Travolta‘s response? His lawyer says, “The problem in America is anyone can sue anyone. However, in this case this unidentified plaintiff and his lawyer will regret they filed this fabricated suit. We intend to sue both of them for malicious prosecution.” Yeah… this is no longer “funny stories about gay spa sex.” These are stories about Travolta physically assaulting men and everyone turning a blind eye. If the stories are true, I hope Travolta has to pay out, big time. If the stories aren’t true, I hope he can defend himself in court.

UPDATE: Oh, and this lawyer representing the two masseurs? He says that there are plenty more victims of Travolta’s sweaty groping. Ugh.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The header photo is of Lindsay Lohan and an “unidentified man” leaving the Chateau Marmont two nights ago. You know, because the Marmont is “home” to this crackie, so when she claims she’s a “homebody,” she’s just saying that she only drinks and does drugs at the Marmont these days. Anyway, we have some standard-issue crackhead stories today. Let’s go with chronological – yes, that makes sense. Two weeks ago, a woman accused Lindsay of slapping the hell out of her inside The Standard. LL claimed that she was nowhere near The Standard, and that she was at “home” watching Homeland. Guess what? Crack liars tell crack lies.

Detectives from the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department have officially received the surveillance video from The Standard Hotel in West Hollywood from the night that a woman claims Lindsay Lohan assaulted her, and the video clearly shows Lohan at the club, despite her claims that she was at home watching television, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

As previously reported, Lindsay is being investigated for allegedly assaulting Marisa Dugas almost two weeks ago. The actress vehemently denied being out that night, claiming she was at home watching television when the incident allegedly occurred, even though three people – including the accuser — have now filed police reports.

“Investigators obtained the surveillance video from the Smoke & Mirrors nightclub at The Standard Hotel and it clearly shows that Lindsay was there on the night of the alleged assault,” a law enforcement source tells RadarOnline.com. “The investigation is still ongoing and follow-up interviews will now be conducted as necessary. Of course, investigators want to interview Lindsay about the incident, but she hasn’t been interviewed yet, nor is she under any obligation to do so. Remember, two other witnesses besides the alleged victim filed police reports, including the bouncer of the nightclub.”

When contacted for comment, Lohan’s rep initially denied his client was at the hotel and told RadarOnline.com, “Whomever is responsible for this lie will be held accountable for their misguided actions.” However, he is now saying, “We’re going to wait for the Sheriff’s Department to release their findings before we comment any further.”

Lindsay’s rep had no comment on this story.

[From Radar]

That’s when you know sh-t just got serious – when poor Steve Honig couldn’t even push out some delusional crack theory about what really happened. So… I guess LL really did assault someone, and everyone was just saying it was Amanda Bynes because why not? I’m sorry, Amanda Bynes. You were falsely accused.

In addition to that, TMZ reports that LL was at The Standard again two nights ago, and yet another assault took place. But this time, LL was the victim!!! Wow. That never happens:

Lindsay Lohan returned to the scene of the (alleged) crime!!! We’ve learned she showed up at The Standard Hotel on the Sunset Strip Wednesday night … went to Smoke and Mirrors, the same nightclub where she allegedly pushed a woman 2 weeks ago, and got into it with ANOTHER woman … and it ended with LiLo on the receiving end of a flying drink.

Here’s how it went down. Lindsay’s friend drove her car to the hotel — LiLo was in the passenger seat. The driver pulled into the parking garage and hit another car. Witnesses say Lindsay then called her dad, Michael, for help, and he dutifully showed up.

So what did Michael do? He took Lindsay inside the club and the two hung out for hours … we’re told without any alcohol.

Around closing time, a woman in the booth next to theirs made a snide comment about Lindsay showing up with her dad. Lindsay then got up and screamed at the woman, “Shut the f**k up.” We’re told that’s when the drink drenched the actress.

We’re told Michael then grabbed his daughter and made a beeline for the door.

[From TMZ]

This story is so ridiculous, it must be true, right? Or have I just become completely inured to cracktastrophes? Here’s what probably went down: Lindsay decided to leave the Marmont on Wednesday night, so she and her friend decided to hit up The Standard. Lindsay drove, and she hit another car because she was drunk and/or high. She didn’t want to call Dina because Dina demands payment in blow. So LL called her dad, who did nothing to help LL clean up the car accident, but did take her into the club where father and daughter shared two dozen tequila shots. At one point, LL threatened a chick (“Because of HER FACE.”) and the chick threw a preemptive drink on LL. Michael then ushered his daughter out of the club, and she drove them home, only crashing into two babies on the way. The end.

UPDATE: …. And of course Lindsay was the one to throw the drink. Of course.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News.

These are photos of Kim Kardashian at the launch of her new fragrance, True Reflection, last night in Hollywood. Unfortunately for all involved, Kim’s Kat-face was not the biggest story. While she was talking to media outlets on the carpet, Kim was assaulted! She was flour-bombed, to be specific. I didn’t know “flour-bombing” was a thing – I’ve seen and enjoyed when gay activists “glitter-bomb” anti-human-rights politicians, but why “flour-bomb” a cat-faced reality star?

An unnamed woman “dumped a bag of flour” on Kim’s head, and it got all in Kim’s hair and clothes (and the red carpet). The woman was taken into custody by the LA County Sheriff’s Department under a charge of “non-criminal battery” although Kim later declined to press charges (or seek any medical treatment, ha). Kim temporarily left the red carpet, got cleaned up in her hotel room, then returned looking much the same. Kim told E! News, “That probably is the craziest, unexpected, weird thing that ever happened to me… Like I said to my makeup artist, I wanted more powder and that’s a whole lot of translucent powder right there.” Here’s some video, but the angle isn’t great:

Oh, it just occurred to me: do you think this could be some kind of PETA thing? But PETA is big on red paint, and they usually only do it when the celebrity is wearing fur at the time. Kim wears fur sometimes, but she wasn’t last night. She was wearing leather, though. Hmm…

Anyway, in our post-9/11 world, please don’t throw white powder on people. If you want to glitter-bomb an anti-gay politician, I’ll cosign that. But flour-bombing a cat-faced reality star? Meh.

UPDATE: According to E! News’s witnesses, the flour-bomber mumbled something about fur. So it probably was some kind of PETA thing. You’d think they would have claimed it by now, though.

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame/Flynet.

First, a little Monaco royal history: Princess Caroline is the oldest child of Grace Kelly (Her Serene Highness Princess Grace) and Prince Rainier. Caroline’s younger brother, Albert, just married Charlene Wittstock, and Albert likely hopes to provide a male heir to inherit the throne of Monaco. If Albert does not provide an heir, the kingdom/principality will go to Caroline’s oldest son, Andrea Casiraghi. Caroline’s second marriage was to Stefano Casiraghi, and the union produced Andrea (the oldest), Charlotte (the middle) and Pierre, the youngest. Pierre is currently… third in the line to the throne, I guess. Because it has to be a male heir, not a female?

Anyway, Pierre has gotten the reputation as an international partier, and Saturday night he was hanging with some friends at Double Seven in Manhattan. According to the New York Post, Pierre and Stavros Niarchos went over to this dude – Adam Hock – who was sitting with some friends and some models. Pierre and Stavroas started acting like jerks, and Hock cold-cocked Pierre. Then everything got crazy:

A vicious fight involving vodka and supermodels at a Meatpacking District nightclub sparked a royal beatdown that landed Monaco’s Prince Pierre Casiraghi in the hospital, The Post has learned.

The attack on the 24-year-old son of Princess Caroline and grandson of Grace Kelly came during a late-night confrontation between the prince and his playboy pals and former Manhattan club owner Adam Hock at trendy Double Seven on Saturday, witnesses and law-enforcement sources said.

After the fight, “Pierre’s face looked broken, with deep cuts and blood everywhere,” said one stunned witness. “He looked like he needed plastic surgery.”

Hock, 47, had been partying with friends — including Double Seven owner Jeffrey Jah, hairdresser-to-the-stars Joel Warren and catwalk stunners Natasha Poly, Valentina Zalyaeva and Anja Rubik — when Casiraghi strolled over to their table with shipping-scion pal and Paris Hilton ex Stavros Niarchos III and two other men at around 2:30 a.m., witnesses said. Members of Hock’s group said the prince and his entourage “were being completely obnoxious,’’ insulting the models and swigging from a $500 bottle of vodka on Hock’s table.

“The next thing I saw, all hell broke loose,’’ one witness said.

Hock allegedly cold-cocked Casiraghi, sending him sprawling. Casiraghi “fell very badly. He . . . flew across the room and landed on a table on the other side,” the onlooker said.

Hock then allegedly punched out Niarchos, 26, and quickly landed blows on downtown hipsters Vladimir Restoin Roitfeld, 27, and Diego Marroquin, 33 — as the flustered models frantically tried to break it up.

Casiraghi was taken to New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center and released later Saturday, sources said.

Hock — the former owner of the Hawaiian Tropic Zone in Times Square — was charged with four counts of third-degree assault for the alleged attacks on Casiraghi, Restoin Roitfeld, Marroquin and Niarchos, whose supermodel girlfriend, Jessica Hart, was with him.

At his arraignment in Manhattan Criminal Court yesterday, Hock said he was the victim.

“I was defending myself and others,” he said. “Why aren’t [Casiraghi and his pals] handcuffed?”

He was released on his own recognizance and is due back in court next month. Friends of Casiraghi claimed Hock was the instigator.

“The prince walked up to the table, and Adam just slammed him for no reason,’’ one witness said. “Stavros jumped in to help Pierre, and then he got slammed in the face.”

At one point, witnesses on both sides agree, a friend of Casiraghi grabbed a bottle of Grey Goose vodka from a nearby table and tried to crack it over Hock’s head.

Hock’s power lawyer, Salvatore Strazzullo, said, “My client was having a nice time with a married couple and a lady friend and a group of very beautiful women, and these individuals were jealous, and they resorted to elementary-school tactics. My client is not Bruce Lee . . . These four guys are trust-fund babies who think the world is owed to them. They are like spoiled brats.”

Richard Golub, who is representing the prince and his pals, said, “It was a horrifying incident . . . It was entirely unprovoked.”

[From The New York Post]

I tend to believe both sides. I think Pierre and Stavroas were probably acting like entitled d-bags and they went over to Hock’s table because they couldn’t believe some hot girls were hanging out with the older American men. And I believe this guy, Hock, probably instigated the physical altercation because he decided this little Monaco punk deserved a good old-fashion American ass-kicking. Hock should have been charged with assault, and I’m glad he was. But I don’t think Pierre was any kind of victim. He seems like a douche.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

**The above photo shows Hugh Hefner on the left, his son Marston Hefner in the middle, and Marston’s girlfriend and Playmate Claire Sinclair on the left.

Hugh Hefner’s 21-year-old son Marston Hefner was arrested for misdemeanor domestic violence on Sunday for allegedly attacking his Playmate girlfriend, Claire Sinclair. Claire is 20 years old, and she and Marston seem to be living together in Pasadena, although TMZ described their relationship as “on and off”. Sinclair told police that Marston “punched her, kicked her in the stomach and then refused to let her leave the residence.” Marston only admitted that he and Claire had fought, not that he assaulted her. He was arrested anyway, and he was taken in, booked, and is now out on bail:

Hugh Hefner’s oldest son Marston Hefner was arrested last night after he allegedly attacked his Playmate of the Year girlfriend Claire Sinclair … TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … cops were called to the pad Marston shares with Sinclair in Pasadena, CA after one of Sinclair’s family members called 911, claiming Marston had attacked her.

Cops arrived to the scene … and we’re told officers observed visible injuries on Sinclair’s body … including bruises and red marks.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Marston admitted the two had gotten into an argument … but did not cop to striking Sinclair.

Sources tell us … Sinclair told cops Marston had punched her, kicked her in the stomach and then refused to let her leave the residence. We’re told Sinclair called family members after the alleged attack … and her family called the cops.

After a brief investigation, Marston was arrested for misdemeanor domestic violence at around 11:15 PM … and hauled to a nearby police station where he was booked.

Marston was released on $20,000 bail a few hours later.

20-year-old Sinclair was named PMOY in 2011. She has been dating Marston on-and-off since August 2010.

[From TMZ]

Hugh Hefner released a statement to People Mag, and it might be the worst part of this horrible story – Hef told People, “If they care about each other, they’ll patch it up.” Damn it, Hef. If even part of Claire’s story is true (which is a decent-to-good possibility), then Hef needs to STFU and stop encouraging one of his Playmates (barely out of her teens!) to stay with her abuser. Hef used to be much better on these kinds of issues – I can only guess that he doesn’t want to admit to himself that his son is the kind of man who would physically assault a girlfriend. This story makes me sick.

Also… if Claire’s claims are true (once again, a good possibility), how in the world is that MISDEMEANOR domestic violence? Why isn’t it a felony?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

A few weeks ago, Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen (now divorced) appeared on Entertainment Tonight. The goal, I think, was trying to show the world that they were both doing well and raising their babies together. Unfortunately, they both seemed like they were blitzed out of their minds, Brooke even more than Charlie. Between the two of them, I’ve long suspected that Charlie is the one who is sober more often, and the one who can keep his junk together more consistently while high as a kite. Brooke just seemed like a total mess, like there is no point in her life where she is simply maintaining a veneer of “sobriety”. Anyway, my assumption was right. Brooke was just arrested in Aspen, Colorado for possession and assault.

Brooke Mueller was arrested while vacationing in Aspen, Colorado for felony cocaine possession with the intention to distribute early Saturday morning.

In a statement released by the Aspen Police Department, Charlie Sheen’s ex, 34, was also busted for a misdemeanor 3rd degree assault charge.

The mom of 2-year-old twin sons Bob and Max was released from Pitkin County Jail Saturday morning when she posted the $11,000 bond. Mueller has a District Court date of December 19.

On Christmas day in 2009, Sheen, 46, allegedly held a knife to Mueller’s throat and threatened to kill her. He later pled guilty on lesser charges and spent time in rehab, not jail. Since the incident, the two had lived apart, although their divorce wasn’t officially granted until this past May.

A source told Us Weekly in August that the parents have been “getting counseling and therapy [with] the boys” and Mueller, who has struggled with substance addiction, is “actually responding to treatment.”

[From Us Weekly]

According to Radar, everything went down at a series of clubs in Aspen. A woman came up to police officers at Belly Up Aspen, and the woman claimed that she’d been assaulted by Brooke. Officers found Brooke at Escobar, another nightclub and she was arrested and charged with “assault in the third degree (class one misdemeanor) and possession of cocaine with intent to distribute (class four felony).” And Radar’s source says, “How do you help someone like Brooke? Her parents even moved to Los Angeles to take care of her and help her take care of her kids, and that didn’t even help. With this latest development, her friends are beyond caring anymore.”

Even People Magazine’s sources admit that Brooke is a cokehead disaster too – all of these anonymous “sources” seem to have been sent out to do damage control, and it speaks volumes that People Magazine got one of harsher critiques of Brooke: “Brooke can’t stay sober on her own. Maybe this [arrest] will force her to go into a treatment center for a long stay. Thirty-day rehabs won’t work for her. Her family has been trying to get her to do this, now maybe the court will force her to get the help she needs! She has enough family to take care of the kids while she’s away.” But! Brooke’s rep, Steve Honig (the same rep as LINDSAY LOHAN for the love of God, THAT should tell you something) tells People Mag: “I think anyone who is truly a friend of Brooke’s would not be spending their time talking anonymously and behind her back to the media. I seriously question the validity of any comments made by these people alleging to be friends with Brooke.” Yeah, I think the anonymously-sourced quote comes from her family, and I feel bad for them. They probably are hoping that the legal system will help clean up this mess.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

“I’m about to show that vagina the back of my hand!” – Matthew Fox

Back in August, Matthew Fox was completely wasted in Cleveland, Ohio. Allegedly. While hammered out of his skull, Matthew Fox decided it would be funny or interesting or a cool experience to have if he boarded a private party bus. Allegedly. When he tried to enter the party bus, the bus driver, a woman named Heather Bormann, tried to stop him, as the bus was private and rented out for a specific group of customers. Allegedly. That’s when things got violent. Allegedly. Bormann claims that as she attempting to get Matthew Fox off of her bus, he began punching her in the stomach, legs, boobs and vagina. She claimed that she struck back, but only in self-defense. She told her story to the cops and to the Cleveland prosecutor, and Matthew was not only arrested, but he was formally charged with assault on Bormann.

Funny story – Matthew is now suing his alleged victim. Because she told the world that he punched her in the vagina! SHE’S SO MEAN.

is striking back — not in the vagina, in court — claiming the woman who accused him of punching her in her private parts is a blatant liar.

Fox is countersuing Heather Bormann, who filed her own lawsuit in September, claiming a drunken Fox tried to board a party bus she was driving in Cleveland, Ohio. Bormann alleged Fox attacked her after she ordered him to stay off the bus. That’s when Bormann claims Fox struck her in the breast, arm, leg and, of course, the vagina.

Fox alleges in his countersuit … she’s just lying, and in reality he didn’t provoke her but she’s the one who physically attacked him.

Fox claims he’s lost work because TMZ and other media outlets have reported her lawsuit, and she has subjected him to “public hatred, contempt, ridicule and shame.”

Fox is suing for unspecified damages.

[From TMZ]

I’m sure I’ll get yelled at for making this comparison, but what would your reaction be if Chris Brown sued Rihanna for physically defending herself against his attack? That’s what this is. Granted, Matthew hasn’t been technically found guilty of anything, but Bormann’s story convinced the cops and the district attorney’s office, and just my opinion, but Matthew Fox has been a massive d-bag for YEARS. So I have no problem believing he’s just a violent, drunken douche who is just trying to save face here. Stupid vagina-punching a–hole.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

On Saturday, Matthew Fox got completely and utterly wasted in Cleveland, Ohio. Once he was fully blitzed, he tried to board a private “party bus” with a female bus driver named Heather Bormann. Heather tried to stop Matthew from boarding the bus, considering it was only for paying guests. Matthew then began punching Heather in the boobs, stomach and biscuits. Heather punched him back in self-defense, landing a giant wallop to his face. Fox was handcuffed, detained and released. Since then, prosecutors have heard Heather’s story and they’ve investigated her side of the story, and they decided to go ahead and charge Matthew Fox with assault.

A party-bus driver filed assault charges against Matthew Fox Tuesday afternoon, two days after the “Lost” actor allegedly punched her repeatedly in an incident outside a Cleveland, Ohio, nightclub.

“He got me pretty good,” Heather Bormann, 29, told CNN as she described an early Sunday morning fight with Fox.

Representatives for Fox, who is in Cleveland to film a movie, have not responded to repeated CNN calls for comment on the allegations.

Police who investigated the incident Sunday did not arrest Fox and instead let him take a taxi back to his hotel, according to a police report.

The Cleveland prosecutor’s office said it was reviewing Bormann’s complaint against Fox.

The prosecutor’s office did photograph bruises on Bormann’s legs and arms that she said she suffered from Fox’s blows.

“He was swinging at my legs and, ultimately, my chest and my crotch area,” Bormann said in an interview Tuesday.

She suffered a wrist injury when she punched him back, Bormann said.

The fight started when Fox tried to board her bus, which had been rented for a bachelor party that he was not part of, Bormann said.

Fox had one leg in the bus and one leg on the ground when she warned him to step off, which he refused, she said. That’s when he started throwing punches at her, she said.

“He reeked of liquor,” Bormann said. “You could just smell it coming off of him. He had glassy eyes and a blank stare the whole time.”

[From CNN]

“He had glassy eyes and a blank stare the whole time.” It sounds like Matthew was black-out drunk, right? I wonder if he even remembers punching this poor woman in the vadge. Not that I consider being blackout drunk a mitigating circumstance. Matthew Fox is 45 years old! He should know how to hold his liquor by now, because the thought of a 45-year-old drunk blacking out and then assaulting a woman is just sad and pathetic.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

You know how I said that Matthew Fox was an egotistical jagoff? Guess what? He punches women in the biscuits too. TMZ initially reported that Matthew Fox drunkenly assaulted a woman in Cleveland two nights ago when he punched her in her breast and her vadge. Then TMZ changed the story to “breast and stomach area” because I guess that sounds better…? The woman says he definitely punched her in the biscuits though.

Matthew Fox was detained by cops in Cleveland, Ohio Saturday night after allegedly assaulting a woman outside of a bar … TMZ has learned. Law enforcement sources at the scene tell us … the “Lost” star allegedly tried to enter a party bus — even though he wasn’t a guest on the vehicle.

We’re told the woman who was driving the bus tried to block Fox from getting on board — at which point, he allegedly punched her in the breast and the “stomach area.”

Fox was handcuffed by an off-duty officer — and was later detained by police. Fox was released without being formally arrested. An assault report was taken and the matter remains under investigation.

We have not been able to reach Fox for comment.

UPDATE: According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, the woman PUNCHED BACK — and struck Fox “in the mouth … causing a cut on his lip.” The woman told police she may have broken her hand during the altercation. Fox was later released to a friend … who put the actor into a taxi and accompanied him back to his hotel.

[From TMZ]

TMZ then got an exclusive with the woman with the punched boob, who told them that she only punched back in self-defense. I believe her too.

The woman who punched Matthew Fox in the face this weekend tells TMZ … she HAD to let her fists fly because the actor struck first and she needed to defend herself. TMZ spoke with Heather Bormann … who tells us she was driving a party bus for a private party Saturday night in Cleveland — when Fox boarded the vehicle.

Bormann claims she told Fox he wasn’t welcome on the bus — but he was too drunk to understand. Bormann says, “He just kept staring at me with his mouth wide open and not saying anything. I told him, ‘You have to leave buddy. You are trespassing on my bus.’”

That’s when Fox “leaned in and started punching my crotch and breast.”

Bormann says, “I took one hand to his jaw and he was spitting blood. He stumbled backwards.”

“This was my self-defense,” Bormann says … adding, “This was the only way I could protect myself…..from a man beating up on a woman.”

Bormann says she’s meeting with prosecutors today — and may press charges.

[From TMZ]

I can’t even imagine being punched in the biscuits. Why would a man (or anyone?) do that? “This woman is pissing me off, let me sock her in the vadge!” For why? Notice I’m not talking about being punched in the boob – I’ve been punched in the boob before, accidentally. They’re just so big! I accidentally hit myself in the boob all the time.

Anyway, this is your woman-beater post of the day. I was thinking about writing something on Chris Brown, but really, he’s not worth my time. And I will seriously believe any bad story about Matthew Fox. He seems like a narcissistic bastard, a drunk, a womanizer and a loser.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This story was more scandalous when I thought Sean Bean was still married to his fourth wife. I had forgotten that they split up last year, but whatever. I want to write about Sean Bean, who is The Sex. He’s also a rather sketchy dude, but by now you know that’s how I like ‘em. So… Sean has a new girlfriend, apparently. In Britain, they call her a “glamour model” which I think means that she poses naked for magazines and tabloids. Her name is “April Summers” and she’s 30 years younger than Sean (who is 52). Anyway, here’s the story: Sean got into a fight with some dude over April, and the dude STABBED Sean. And Sean was all “meh” and he went back into the bar and ordered another drink! This is the kind of guy I always go for, I swear.

He became known to millions as the rugged, hero soldier in historical drama Sharpe. And now actor Sean Bean has proven once and for all that his tough-guy image is not just fictional. The Daily Mail has learned that Bean was ‘stabbed’ in the arm following a row over a beautiful young model.

The four-time married star was apparently attacked outside the Hill Bar and Brasserie in Camden, North West London late on Sunday evening. Mr Bean was said to have a cut arm and a bruised face, according to witnesses. However, extraordinarily, he declined to attend hospital. Instead, the star walked back into the bar and, after staff gave him aid from a first aid kit, ordered another drink.

A member of staff said: ‘Sean is a regular here and we’ve never had any problems before. He was with a very attractive woman and an incident occurred outside the bar. He came in with a cut on his arm and a bruise on his eyebrow. We saw to his injuries with the first aid kit. He seemed ok and wanted to have another drink.’

The row began when Mr Bean, 52, and April Summers – a glamour model who is 30 years his junior who had gone to the bar with him – were standing outside, having a cigarette. Miss Summers – whose real name the Daily Mail understands is Nadia Foster – lives close to Mr Bean in the same area. According to witnesses, a passer-by then made lewd comments about Miss Summers, a topless model who has appeared in a number of UK lads’ magazines as well as the Italian edition of Playboy. As a result, Mr Bean followed the man down the road to challenge him.

Later in the evening, Mr Bean went out for another cigarette and was then attacked by a man. The star, who lives close by, was said to have been stabbed in the arm – believed to be with a broken glass – and punched in the face, according to witnesses. Police were then called.

Bean – who also appeared in Hollywood blockbuster Lord Of The Rings – divorced his fourth wife Georgina Sutcliffe last December after just two years marriage. They said they had found it intolerable to live together. Miss Sutcliffe – who Mr Bean had first met when she was working at one of his favourite bars – had also once accused Bean of assault but the charges were dropped.

Mr Bean – who originally hails from Sheffield, South Yorkshire – was first married to hairdresser Debra James, his teenage sweetheart. He then wed actress Melanie Hill, with whom he has two daughters Lorna, 23, and Molly, 19. They originally met at drama college RADA but divorced in 1997. He married Abigail Cruttenden, who he had met on the set of Sharpe, that November. They had a daughter Evie, now 12, before divorcing in 2000.

It is not known if Miss Summers is Mr Bean’s latest girlfriend.

The star – who first rose to fame as Mellors opposite Joely Richardson in a 1992 BBC production of Lady Chatterley’s Lover – told the Daily Mail last month how he continues to enjoy drinking. He said: ‘I like a good drink like the next man. But on my own terms. I feel a bit queasy at the thought of attending premieres and stuff. I’m not that social type. But if you court publicity you can’t complain if you get pestered. And I don’t want to be pestered. To be famous and seen in clubs and bars – is that it?’

The police had no comment to make on the alleged fracas. Mr Bean was unavailable for comment.

Miss Summers – who also lives close to the bar – said she was not injured in the incident. She told the Mail at her home last night: ‘I’m fine, it is a private matter. I don’t want to make any comment.’

[From The Mail]

It’s a pretty standard story of a liquor-soaked fight over a woman, only in this case I think the attacker wasn’t so much drunk as a knife-wielding misogynist, right? I guess the stab wound was no big deal, then? Sean didn’t need stitches, he just needed a stiff drink and a bandaid. Bless him. He should try to go out with someone other than a 22 year old “glamour model”. He should try me!

These photos are from Sean promoting Game of Thrones in Monte Carlo last week, plus one photo of this “April Summers” chick. Very sketchy.

Photos courtesy of WENN.