Jessica Simpson must not be used to singing to a house full of bigwigs. She choked up during a performance at the Kennedy Center Honors and left the stage abruptly at the end in the middle of her number. She sang Dolly Parton’s “Nine to Five” with Dolly in attendance. Once she came back on afterwards it was clear she had been crying:

Singer-actress Jessica Simpson was in tears last night after flubbing a song she was performing during the Kennedy Center Honors.

Simpson was on stage to sing Nine to Five as part of the tribute to Dolly Parton, one of the evening’s five honorees. Simpson ended her performance abrupty with the words “so nervous” and quickly exited the stage. The stunned audience remained silent, giving her no applause.

Simpson appeared to be crying when she and other singers in the tribute returned to the stage.

CBS will broadcast the show Dec. 26 at 9 p.m.

In addition to Parton, the evening’s other honorees were movie director Steven Spielberg, singer Smokey Robinson, composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and conductor Zubin Mehta.

Here are pictures from the night in question. Who wouldn’t be intimidated performing Dolly Parton’s number right in front of her. I heard that Dick Cheney gave her a little sneer too.

Pictures from Hollywood’s Best.

It looks like planned vag jokes at the upcoming Billboard awards hit too close to home for ‘ol wonky eye. She pulled out of hosting the event at the last minute due to supposed loyalty to her new friend and crotch-baring comrad, Britney.

Paris Hilton won’t joke about her peeps.

The hotel heiress canceled an appearance at next week’s Billboard Music Awards because she didn’t like the jokes written for her, according to a spokesman.

“It is my understanding that some satirical references ridiculed some of her peers,” her spokesman, Elliot Mintz, said in a statement. “Paris did not want to say anything that could appear hurtful or embarassing about people she knows.”

Mintz said Hilton received a script Friday that contained material she found “objectionable.” Representatives for Hilton and the awards show could not come to an agreement about the script’s content so she decided to scrap the appearance, he said.

If only Paris could have read a few scripted jokes about Britney’s hairless beaver, she could have effectively distanced herself from the four totally deliberate incidents. Instead everyone now knows that Paris coached Britney on how to slip a lip. Unlike Paris and her drunken exposures, Britney no-pants looks like a redundant amateur. Paris is a lousy teacher and she should be ashamed.

Now we’ll have to hear those jokes coming from that Frankenstein guy from “Everyone Loves Raymond.” Surely his delivery will be better than Paris ever could have managed.

Here’s Paris at VH1’s “Big in 2006″ awards, which airs tonight. She won for “Big Outlaw,” proving that DUI does pay.

Thanks to Viv and White Trash Mom for this story.

Germany’s most prestigious award show, The Bambis, were on last night and I watched them for a while. There wasn’t as much hype as American awards shows and they seemed rather subdued in comparison, although there were a lot of excellent musical guests. The German reality shows lack the manufactured drama of the American reality shows, so it’s not surprising that the awards are kind of matter-of-fact too. There were awards for sports, arts and culture as well as films and acting. Here’s an article in German with a list of winners.

Samuel L Jackson was honored for his film career. Victoria Beckham was also on hand to help present the fashion award to Roberto Cavalli. She sauntered on stage in a tight Cavalli gold metallic asian dress. She made a joke to Wetten Das presenter Thomas Gottschalk that his shirt matched her outfit and ended up doing a little dance with him on stage.

The most interesting thing that happened on camera was that she kind of half-tripped while walking down the stairs afterwards but caught herself. It wasn’t too obvious, but you could tell she was a little embarassed. It’s at the very end of the video below.

Here’s the video. I actually taped it, but Schmudo at YouTube has ripped it already:

TMZ is reporting that Victoria tried to get the Associated Press to sign some sort of confidentiality agreement that they wouldn’t publish her pictures from the event or reveal anything they learned about her or something. It sounds weird, but if you read between the lines it kind of suggests she’s preggo:

At the Bambi arts awards ceremony in Germany, Associated Press said “no thanks” to the Spice Girl by refusing to sign an agreement in which Posh would limit their coverage of the alleged fashionplate, seen here in a gold embroidered bedspread from the Osaka Hilton.

The document, which also raised eyebrows with Reuters and two German photo agencies, would have allowed Beckham to get copies of all photos, with the ability to use them for promotional purposes, while restricting photogs from revealing “confidential information” they might learn about the former Spice Girl during the ceremony. Gosh, Posh, what are you hiding?

The organizers of the event eventually came up with another agreement which would allow AP to cover the event as long as they promised not to take any pictures of Beckham. They shot down the agreement, forgoing coverage of the show. The other agencies agreed, but said they would purposefully not take photos of her in protest.

It’s also possible that the “confidential information” involves a seven pound weight gain. Posh no longer looks super-gaunt to me. It’s hard to tell if she’s got a baby bump though because of the busy print on the gown she’s wearing.

It’s not really true that all the other photo agencies shunned her George Clooney-style, because Splash News has pictures of the event. People are saying the dress is ugly and not worth photographing anyway, but she looked damn good on camera to me.

Most pictures from Splash News Online. Victoria is seen with Karl Lagerfeld, but presented an award to Roberto Cavalli.

Britney Spears was supposed to host the Billboard music awards in Vegas with Paris Hilton next week, and their people were in negotiations for it, but Britney pulled out with no explanation.

Speculation is rampant that Britney has soured on Paris, but the more likely explanation is that someone took her aside and told her to get her shit together, put on some panties, and stay at home with her kids for a couple of nights. Making a scheduled public appearance with Paris will only remind everyone of the three separate sets of punane-baring pictures of Britney that are floating around on the web. (If you don’t believe me that she did it three different times, just look at the clothes she’s wearing in each picture series linked above.)

After nearly a week of clubbing, partying and shopping in LA with new BFF, Paris Hilton, Us has learned exclusively that Britney Spears has abruptly pulled out of co-hosting with the heiress on the Fox Billboard Music Awards, scheduled to air live on December 4.

“She pulled out,” confirms a source with Fox. “She didn’t give a reason.”

The source tells Us that Hilton is still a possible host despite losing Spears as a sidekick. Other sources confirm that as recent as this morning, agents for both Hilton and Spears were hashing out the final terms of the contract, but at 5pm today, Spears had backed out of negotiations.

“We really don’t know the reason. But we’re disappointed she backed out.” says a Fox source.

Brad Garrett, the big guy from “Everybody Loves Raymond” is the potential replacement for Paris and Britney, so it’s not like it’s a prestigious hosting gig. Paris may also host solo.

Why are all these lesser music awards using inexperienced hosts like Lindsay and Paris? Maybe no one watches them, but a 20-something celebrity known for her skill in partying and shopping is not a good choice to host an awards show.

Britney was seen leaving a restaurant on Monday night with a fur coat on and a wine glass in her hand before she got in her car and had trouble finding the ignition. She wore a yellow knit cap to hide her shedding extensions and had glasses on in a vain attempt to look studious. She was photographed at some other point that night with an orange tank top on and no bra.

Meanwhile Paris, Britney and Lohan are no longer the three slutsketeers after Paris and Lohan are said to have fought it out at Hyde Monday night. Paris is said to have told Lohan “you’re a fucking coked-out whore; don’t ever say you’re my friend again!” with Lohan leaving all upset.

Oh boo hoo. Go buy some more sex toys and get photographed again Lohan. That coochie-showing trick is completely old. Or maybe you could visit a library or a book store. That might be a good way to get some attention.

Britney actually stayed home last night, Tuesday, as none of the paparazzi websites have pictures of her out. Or maybe they were all too freaking tired to keep up with her.

Here are photos of Paris, Britney and Lindsay on Monday. Lindsay is seen with a pair of $1,000 diamond-studded handcuffs since the help is so unreliable at keeping her men by her side. Pictures from Splash News Online.

So Gwen looks gorgeous and all, and she seems like a great mom, but she still has a sense of style that I can’t appreciate, and her new single is god awful. It’s not appealing to me on any level. I see what she’s trying to do here, she’s challenging the limits in fashion and music, but to me she just falls flat.

Here’s her performance of “Wind It Up,” a real mess of a song:

This is just my opinion. If you guys find this entertaining or whatever that’s great. There’s got to be a market for this somewhere.

Pictures from JustNoDoubt.net

Britney, I know the American Music Awards are not that big of a deal and you were just presenting, not performing. That doesn’t mean you get a pass to chew gum. Remember when we talked about this? The esthetician also told you to stop lining the bottom of your eyes because it makes you look cheap. Other than that you look pretty good and I like the dress. You did break up with that jerk and have started to accept help and that’s the biggest step.

Best Week Ever has a highlight video of the rest of the AMAs. Lionel Richie rocks.

Pictures from BreatheHeavy.com and Just Jared. Some taken by Getty Images.

Scores of fans paid dearly for a rare much-anticipated Michael Jackson comeback show at the World Music Awards in London last week, but were treated instead to Jackson singing poorly to a few lines of “We are the World.” R&B artist Chris Browne did a pretty decent version of Thriller after Jackson is said to have suffered crippling stage fright. Judging from Jackson’s lousy singing voice, it’s likely he was incapable of performing even if he had worked up the nerve.

Dissapointed ticket holders are demanding their money back after paying nearly $200 for tickets. (I listed the ticket price as $400 in an earlier article, and must have been mistaken.) Organizers deny that there was a problem with Jackson’s aborted performance, and say that no one has contacted them for a refund. They claim that time constraints are to blame for Jackson’s half-assed performance:

Furious Michael Jackson fans are seeking refunds on their tickets for the World Music Awards after the star failed to perform his hit ‘Thriller’ at the event.

Entry to the show at London’s Earls Court on Wednesday (November 15) cost as much as £100, and fans are now saying they were misled by promises that the star would play one of his most famous songs. It would have been his first UK live performance in nine years.

In the end, he joined a choir onstage to sing just a couple of lines of the 1985 USA For Africa charity hit ‘We Are The World’, which he co-wrote.

Fan Katherine Kidd told the BBC: “I’m furious. I feel like I’ve been ripped off.”

“People were expecting something significant but he didn’t perform at all,” said Abdo Binmadhi, “When the lights went on I saw people’s faces and they were like: ‘Is that it?’

“I should have just stayed at home and watched it on TV… We should definitely get a refund.”

However, the organisers of the World Music Awards said that they had “not been contacted by any of the fans or had one complaint” regarding the event.

They added that Jackson’s performance had been cut short because the ceremony over-ran, breaking a noise curfew at the venue.

Jackson wasn’t the only one who bombed at the WMAs. We also reported that Lindsay Lohan was booed on stage and cut short her hosting duty about half way through after suffering a fall down some stairs backstage.

Commentor Johnnie Walker was at the WMAs and explained that Lindsay was playing to the cameras and ignoring the audience, and that she deserved the boos she received after fumbling a joke and then trying it over again without an apology or explanation to the crowd:

OK I was there, she didn’t care about the public being there she was just after the cameras, Her first line was something about WMA being based on actual records sales and then some stupid joke about people over 34 nobody understood, thing is, she messed up her lines and the joke (which was supposed to be spontaneous) so she stopped and without addressing the public (like ups sorry I messed up, etc) or anything, started again and made the exact “spontaneous” joke at which point the public booed, it was pretty loud, she wasn’t booed afterwards (at least not as loudly as said time).

It seems like WMA ticket holders have a few reasons to ask for their money back, although the other performances from artists like Beyonce and Nelly Furtado must have been entertaining.

Lindsay Lohan, the intended host of the World Music Awards, was met with boos whenever she went on stage last night. She was so upset that she tripped and fell down some stairs backstage. She stopped hosting about half way through after her accident, but that didn’t stop her from partying it up afterwards:

It was the night from hell for Lindsay Lohan at the World Music Awards.

She was visibly upset when the audience booed her every time she took to the stage, she fell down the stairs and was forced to abandon her role as main host of the ceremony.

The 20-year-old actress pulled out halfway through after tumbling down a flight of stairs backstage.

An onlooker at the awards in Earls Court revealed: “Lindsay was devastated, she came off stage and fell, and so she had to give up. It looked incredibly painful.”

Her role was from then on taken up by the individual awards presenters. Luckily, she was not seriously hurt - she was well enough to go partying afterwards, the only sign of injury a blue sticking plaster on a finger.

It seems like the Brits are fond of booing and that it’s more common there, judging from what I’ve seen of their sessions of Parliament, but I would like to see footage of Lohan getting booed. Did anyone see the Awards and can they verify the booing? The highlight video that was posted on The Daily Mail website did not include clips of Lindsay hosting, and nothing has hit YouTube yet.

Of course she went out partying afterwards. That always seems to take priority over her work obligations, no matter how obscenely paid she is.

Here is Lohan looking exceptionally orange at the WMAs last night. [via]

Micheal Jackson’s highly anticipated public performance at the World Music awards in London last night was a letdown and a flop.

Jackson was said to be performing the complete version of “Thriller,” but an American singer, Chris Brown, ended up doing a halfway decent rendition. Jacko couldn’t have done it better, judging from the lousy few lines of “We are the World” he fudged while the full song was playing in the background, not quite drowning him out.

The Daily Mail has a highlight video accessible from their website. At around 2:50 Jackson comes on stage to accept the millenium award. He seems a little choked up but gracious and well spoken, and said it was his dream come true that Thriller became the best selling album of all time.

His performance of a snippet of the “We are the World” chorus is at 4:50. He comes on stage in front of a bunch of children and sings badly over the song for just a few lines. His mike then cuts out, he tries to sing but no sound is heard, and he seems confused.

People who shelled out nearly $400 for tickets were dissapointed, and experts say the king of pop has little chance of a comeback now. There’s also reports that he was booed off stage, but if that’s true I couldn’t tell from the video.

In a story that sounds like a PR stunt, ABC’s pompous Bachelor reportedly found an envelope in a NY city taxicab containing $50,000 worth of jewels labeled “Salma Hayek.” Hayek’s incompetent assistant accidentally left the borrowed jewelry in the cab and The Bachelor was the next person to hail it. He called up the ABC studios, eager to return the goods:

According to the website IMDB, Hayek is a lucky girl. The celebrity accidentally left some jewellery on the back seat of a New York taxi cab. The Frida star estimates the value of the gems to be at nearly $50,000.

Hayek was planning to wear the pieces to a benefit party, but her assistant left the jewels in the car. Lorenzo Borghese, the star of The Bachelor, happened to be the next customer for the cab, and returned the jewels.

Hayek, 40, explained, “The guy that’s like the prince in The Bachelor gets in the cab right after, somewhere random in New York and sees an envelope that says ‘Salma Hayek’. He called (TV network) ABC and said, ‘I think Salma Hayek just lost $50,000 worth of jewelry,’ and they gave it back. Isn’t that fantastic?”

It’s a good thing the writing on the envelope wasn’t in Italian, or The Bachelor would have had to call someone to translate it for him.

Hayek is seen at the AFI Film Fest last Thursday night with Penelope Cruz and Eva Mendes. Cruz was honored by the film festival for her 15 year career as an actress. Pictures [via]