Well, Melissa Leo’s Glamour Shots didn’t hurt! Take note, future Oscar nominees! Melissa Leo won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in The Fighter after a prolonged presenting duty done by Kirk Douglas. I get that Kirk is a legend and everything, but I just felt for the nominees who had to sit there through his convoluted speech with their nerves in tatters. In her speech, Melissa said in part: “I’m just shaking in my boots here… thank you David O. Russell, the actors, Mark Wahlberg, Amy Adams…Yeah, I am kind of speechless, golly there’s people up there. When I saw Kate win two years ago, it looked so F-CKING EASY.” She was referring to Kate Winslet, by the way. And she cursed on live television! Shocking. They bleeped it really fast though. Thank God for the time delay.

Anyway, this was expected. Melissa won the Globe, the SAG and a bunch of critics awards. Her Glamour Shots didn’t hurt, and honestly, this is probably the only award The Fighter is going to win. Sorry, I forgot about Christian Bale! Whatev. Congrats to Melissa! Considering she was winning everything, it wouldn’t have hurt her to have prepared something a little less… trashy, I guess?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This is just our Open Post for all things Oscar this year – I’ll be updating this throughout the red carpet (I‘ll be watching the E! Red Carpet, by the way), and once the ceremony starts and the big awards begin to be handed out, CB and I will be doing individual posts on the winners. I have my fingers crossed for The King’s Speech, but other than that, I have to say… this might be one of the most subdued awards seasons ever, so I have very low expectations for this Oscar telecast. The most interesting people tonight will probably be the presenters. I do hope there’s at least one major upset… perhaps in Best Supporting Actress?

Anyway, if you’re drinking tonight, first of all, DON’T DRIVE. Hopefully your drunk ass is sitting at home with your box of wine and a bag of Doritos, in which case, might I suggest you take a big gulp of your jug o’ wine every time:

1. Ryan Seacrest comes on to a male celebrity on the red carpet.
2. You can see a woman’s Spanx line.
3. A woman winces when she tries to smile through the Botox.
4. La Seacrest makes celebrities talk about him.
5. James Franco laughs at one of his own jokes.
6. James Franco or Anne Hathaway makes a reefer joke.
7. Every gratituitous cut-away to Natalie Portma’s bitchface.

You should be wasted by 8:30! Enjoy yourselves, bitches! I’ll start updating once the red carpet gets swinging.

6:02 – Okay, the Red Carpet has begun! Jennifer Lawrence is absolutely beautiful, and I love that she wore her hair down. The Calvin Klein dress is simple and pretty. I like it. It’s age-appropriate too.

6:04 – I like Guiliana’s Christian Sirano too!

6:07 – OH NOES. What is Melissa Leo wearing, a doily?!? Also: was that little Hailee Steinfeld in the prom gown?

6:11 – Hot damn! Mila Kunis looks AMAZING. Did you see that strut? Melissa Leo is wearing Marc Bower, btw. A Marc Bower original mirrored doily dress. Tacky, tacky, tacky. I don’t even like ML’s hair.

6:16 – Armie Hammer is so… unaffected. He’s just big and goofy and kinda dumb.

6:22 – Hailee looks like a 15-year-old girl who wanted to look like a princess. She’s adorable. Who caught the hint of Michelle Williams in a F&%$# neutral.

6:24 – Oh, okay – Michelle Williams looks cute, and I love that her “date” is Busy Phillips, her BFF. Thoughts on Amy Adams’ navy/purple dress? Love that Dame Seacrest mispronounced “antithetical”.

6:27 – Florence Welsh was cute but boring. Mila… same. I dislike Mila’s hair. Mandy Moore, just STOP.

6:32 – Russell Brand is presenting with his true love Dame Helen Mirren!!! OK, I LOVE Michelle’s dress.

6:34 – Um, what’s going on with Michelle Williams’ lips? Is that The Herpe?!? The Chanel is gorge though.

6:41 – I liked Anne Hathaway’s red dress. She was really working it too. OOOooh, Mark Ruffalo! And I HATE Amy Adams’ L”Wren Scott dress and styling. I’ve made up my mind. Her bad hair made the decision for me.

6:49 – Why are Guiliana & Kelly jizzing over Mandy Moore’s dumb Monique Lul-whatever dress? It sucked.

6:50 – I love Mark Ruffalo. I love that he loves his wife.

6:51 – J.Hud in orange-red. Don’t care for what the dress does to her boobs. At all.

6: 52 – Geoffrey Rush!!! BLANCHETT!!!!!!!!! La Blanchett is on the carpet. CODE RED!!!

6:58 – Re: Blanchett – Um, okay, the dress is “complicated”. It is “high fashion”. It isn’t “pretty”. But she’s Cate Friggin’ Blanchett, so HATERS CAN STUFF IT. ScarJo’s Dolce & Gabbana is HIDEOUS. Last thing – Kevin Spacey hitting on Jeremy Renner?!?

7:01 – DRINK, bitches. Dame Seacrest just hit on Kevin Spacey. And Justin Timberlake brought his mother, not Jessica Biel. Sucks to be Jessica Biel tonight!

7:03 – God, I hate ScarJo’s dress. It looks so cheap and Vegas.

7:08 – Sharon Stone = Cruela de Vil. CRAZY BITCH.

7:09 – Timberlake, ENOUGH.

7:11 – Something nice about Marisa Tomei: I like that she looks natural, and un-Botoxed. Something mean about Marisa: Her dress is TERRIBLE. And the hair is BAD.

7:17 – HELENA!!! She looks kind of pretty, right? Also, I like Hilary Swank’s dress (Versace?). I want to marry HBC, though.

7:22 – What is Nicole Kidman wearing? It looks weird too.

7:24 – ZOMG, Celine Dion looks awesome!! Oooo – Halle. Halle in a neutral. Blech.

7:25 – Penelope Cruz & Javi on the red carpet together!! YAY! Hugh Jackman is so cute. I wish Christian Bale has shaved that junk. COLIN FIRTH IS THE MAN. I feel like we’ve seen this dress on Halle before, right?

7:27 – ZOMG Homoerotic moment: Javi and Josh Brolin kissing. Priceless. Reese Witherspoon looks so CUTE!!

7:32 – Space-age Goop! I like Gwyneth’s Calvin Klein, honestly, but I HATE her hair. She needs a new colorist. LOVE Penelope’s dress. And bitches, you’ve got to drink after Seacrest tried to get into Matthew McCon.’s pants. Love Camila Alves’ dress. She looked so beautiful. HATE HATE HATE Nicole Kidman’s dress. It’s HIDEOUS.

7:38 – Sandra Bullock in red Vera Wang. Cute. The makeup was a little weird, but I thought she got it mostly right. I really do like Gwyneth’s dress. What does that mean?!?

7:42 – RDJ is here. All of you other bitches can go home.

7:52 – Rhea Wahlberg is so pretty, but that dress is completely hideous.

7:58 – The Bitchface is here!! Natalie Portman in purple. Thoughts?

Okay, I’m signing off on the live-blog! Enjoy the show, bitches!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last night, the Independent Spirit Awards were held, and Black Swan was the biggest awards-getter. Black Swan took Best Feature, Best Director (Darren Aronofsky), Best Female Lead (Natalie Portman) and Best Cinematography. Another big winner: James Franco for Best Male Lead (for 127 Hours). In his speech, he even dropped “I went to film school” which should make Lainey happy. Franco’s words were: “I just went through film school at NYU and finished my thesis film, so independent film means a lot to me.” Oh, Franco. You toolbox. Other winners: Exit Through the Gift Shop for Best Documentary, Get Low won Best First Feature, The Kids Are All Right won Best Screenplay, The King’s Speech for Best Foreign Film, John Hawkes (Winter’s Bone) for Best Supporting Actor, and Dale Dickey (Winter’s Bone) for Best Supporting Actress.

As far as fashion went… well… ugh. I usually like the Spirit Awards for their laid-back fashion moments. In years past, most women are in laid back sundresses or comfortable pants. This year… not so much. Natalie Portman’s maternity style is just horrible, Nicole Kidman needs help coordinating colors, and Melissa Leo is just tacky. Who wears a bright satin ball gown to the Spirit Awards, Melissa? Here are some photos from the Spirit Awards, including The Hamm and his girl, Franco, Jeremy Renner, Ewan McGregor (looking gorgeous), and Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Quite honestly, I get more pleasure out of random British celebrities dressed up for the BAFTAs than I get from seeing the insanity of the Grammys. That being said, there weren’t enormously love/hate moments with this year’s BAFTA fashions, so I’m doing the best, the worst and the meh all in one big fashion post. Let’s start with Emma Watson – I like her a great deal, and I have high hopes for her, but chica needs to just stick with sleek, modern, clean styles. This lace, frothy, Gone With the Wind style does nothing for her. Plus, the fit on this dress is horrible. And I don’t think much of her makeup either.

Best Supporting Actress nominee Amy Adams in coral Elie Saab. While I tend to think this is the wrong color for her – the paleness on her skin is wrong, and the pink clashes too much with her hair – I also give her a pass. Even though it’s kind of wrong, it also kind of works in some way.

Colin Firth’s wife Livia, looks worlds better than her biscuit-flashing appearance at the London Critics Awards. She’s a beautiful woman, and she looks so much better with her hair down. Plus, the Nina Skarra dress is gorgeous and regal, and perfect for the wife of the Best Actor winner.

Neve Campbell managed to make it despite being attacked by an assailant armed with fully-loaded blusher. The dress is Cavalli, and it is unflattering.

Doesn’t Minnie Driver look like she borrowed one of Elizabeth Hurley’s busty white gowns? That’s exactly what it looks like – the dress was fitted for Liz Hurley, but somehow ended up on Minnie. Even if the fit was better, it would still be meh.

Jessica Alba in Versace. It looks like… she’s trying to do a version of Elizabeth Taylor, I think. The way her braids caught the light, I thought she was actually wearing a tiara. I have to say, I don’t really like this on Alba. The color is too bright, the styling is tacky with that necklace and the braided hair. Eh.

I think Hailee Steinfeld looked perfect for her age, and for her situation. She was nominated, but she likely knew she wasn’t going to win. It’s not an occasion for a 14-year-old girl to put on a huge ball gown and make it all about “LOOK AT ME!!” Hailee went subdued and still cute and sweet. Totally appropriate.

Hand to God, I thought Tilda Swinton was one of the best dressed women/aliens of the night. This Haider Ackermann suit is INCREDIBLE and I want one. Look at the cut of it! She looks amazing! I can’t believe I’m gushing about The Alien, but there you go!

I like the idea of Jennifer Lawrence’s Stella McCartney dress. She’s young, but not too young to wear something sexy, and the navy was certainly a good color choice. BUT – half of the photos of Jennifer at the BAFTAs are of her adjusting her boobs. She’s falling out of it – and that’s tacky. Yeah, she’s young. She’ll figure it out.

Julianne Moore in guess who? I really wonder if Tom Ford secretly hates her, because for some reason, he makes her look like hell, consistently. The back of the dress is particularly bad – there’s a huge bow, and it makes Julianne look like she has an enormous ass. And you know what else? Formal eveningwear shouldn’t be velvet. Not anymore. It just doesn’t photograph well. Last thing: Julianne’s makeup artist hates her.

Natascha McElhone in Alexander McQueen. I should hate this color on her, I should be criticizing the gloves… but I just can’t. She looks gorgeous.

Last: Thandie Newton in Monique Lhuillier. Hate the woman, hate the dress, hate the “LOOK AT ME” fashion statement. I’m totally biased, though. I’ve had a completely irrational hatred of Thandie Newton for years.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Sunday evening wasn’t just about screeching music at the Grammys! Across the pond, it was BAFTA night. The BAFTAs are Britain’s equivalent of the Oscars, although the BAFTAs aren’t really a harbinger of the Oscars the way the Guild awards are. Generally, the BAFTAs offer more support to British films and British talent, but some Yanks do make a dent. That being said, The King’s Speech did very, very well at the BAFTAs, as I expect it will do well at the Oscars too. TKS took home three of the acting awards: Colin Firth for Best Actor, and Helena Bonham Carter and Geoffrey Rush in the Best Supporting categories. It also took Best Film, Best British Film, Best Original Screenplay, and Music. Well done! Oh, and when HBC won, she said: “I’m so used to losing that it’s kind of a strange feeling to win. It’s very nice, but children, if you’re watching, it’s not about the winning. It still feels nice.” Here’s the list of winners, via Entertainment Weekly:

BEST FILM: The King’s Speech
OUTSTANDING BRITISH FILM: The King’s Speech
LEADING ACTOR: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
LEADING ACTRESS: Natalie Portman, Black Swan
SUPPORTING ACTOR: Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
OUTSTANDING DEBUT BY A BRITISH WRITER, DIRECTOR OR PRODUCER: Four Lions, Director/Writer Chris Morris
DIRECTOR: The Social Network, David Fincher
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: The King’s Speech, David Seidler
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: The Social Network, Aaron Sorkin
FILM NOT IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
ANIMATED FILM: Toy Story 3
ORIGINAL MUSIC: The King’s Speech, Alexandre Desplat
CINEMATOGRAPHY: True Grit, Roger Deakins
EDITING: The Social Network, Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter
PRODUCTION DESIGN: Alice in Wonderland, Robert Stromberg and Karen O’Hara
COSTUME DESIGN: Alice in Wonderland, Colleen Atwood
SPECIAL VISUAL EFFECTS: Inception, Chris Corbould, Paul Franklin, Andrew Lockley, and Peter Bebb
MAKE UP & HAIR: Alice in Wonderland
ORANGE WEDNESDAYS RISING AWARD: Tom Hardy

Yes, Tom Hardy. I can’t find any photos of him, unfortunately. I’m not even sure he was there – Natalie Portman didn’t even fly in to accept her award either! Boo. But as I was glancing through the backstage photos – where the winners and presenters pose together afterwards – I found some lovely photos of my darling Gerard Butler. Plus, Helena Bonham Carter was going all cougar on James McAvoy… which is something I would pay a lot of money to see. Somebody needs to put the two of them together in a movie. Also: HBC’s dress was relatively normal! My theory: she’s saving up the Fashion Crazy for the Oscars. I can’t wait!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I used to care about music. I used to care what was hip and who had sold out and which band was releasing a new album. In my youth, bitches. Nowadays, I go to iTunes and stare at the “New Releases” page with a “WTF?” thought-bubble over my head. What I’m trying to say is that if you’ve come here for lots of Grammys info, you’ve come to the wrong place. If you’d like to know what to expect, here is the list of this year’s nominees. I glanced through three categories and I was all “Hmpf.”

So… enjoy this open post, and feel free to discuss any and all Grammy-related stuff. You can even discuss what an old fart I am, and how I’m two seconds away from telling the whippersnappers to get off my lawn. Tomorrow, CB and I will do recaps and have videos of some of the better or more newsworthy performances, and of course, we’ll do the fashion. Speaking of, all of these photos are from some of this weekend’s pre-Grammy events. Consider this your fashion/trainwreck warning: the Grammys are never going to be the event where we say “Oh, she looks amazing, I want that!” Example: here’s Katy Perry looking like she borrowed Winona Ryder’s Corpse-Bride style:

I want this John Mayer photo on a t-shirt.

I love Vanessa and Nick Lachey’s red carpet pose. It’s so unique! They’re all “tit-to-tit, heart-to-heart, we were made for each other!”

Miley Cyrus… I actually don’t hate the dress. On a middle-aged stripper. On Miley, it is slightly inappropriate, however. Also, I hate the pigeon-toed red carpet stance. Miley does it all of the time, and it sucks.

Never change, Whitney. Also: if her face gets any tighter, an eyeball will pop out.

Yes, Adrien Brody was at a pre-Grammy event. Ugh, douche-face. If that face came up to you at a bar, would you let it buy you a drink? NO YOU WOULDN’T.

Florence Welsh from Florence and the Machine. I love her. Does this mean I know the identity of at least one cool music person?

Kings of Leon… they seem kind of like a lineup of douches, but I get that a lot of people like them. Eh. Whatev.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Dame Goopy rises from the ashes like a sanctimonious phoenix and awaits her reward for thinking so highly of herself. The reward: Gwyneth has been invited to the Oscars. No, she wasn’t nominated for acting, silly! Country Strong was simply too powerful a Britney Spears-esque exploration of being drunk and twangy to earn an acting nomination. And of course Dame Gwyneth would not deign to be a mere presenter. Of course not! Her dear friend Beyonce performed a “musical compilation” (that’s what “the children” are calling it these days) at the Oscars, so Dame Gwyneth must follow in her best dear friend’s footsteps. So yes, in addition to performing (“performing”) at the Grammys, Dame Gwyneth has deigned to grace the Academy Awards stage to perform a song from Country Strong. The song? “Coming Home”. Let’s see if I can find that junk….

Oooh! Here it is:

Holy crap, IS SHE SINGING ABOUT A DOUBLE WIDE?!?! LMAO.

I can’t even finish this junk, I’m laughing too hard. God bless Gwyneth.

Country Strong PR images from All Movie Photo.

Our beloved Gosdong was not in attendance at this year’s SAG Awards, and we are the poorer for it. Although I love some Colin Firth, Firth isn’t enough to make up for the distinct lack of hot dudes at this year’s awards shows. While I’m always up for great fashion porn, the Hot Guy situation is what keeps me tuned in, year after year. And this year, it’s slim pickings. There was Jon Hamm… and that was the best we got. I love some Hamm Dong, but I’d like to see a menu too, you know? Also: The Hamm seemed to be flying solo last night….? His clingy girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt wasn’t there to rub her Botox-face on him. I would send out a CODE RED HAMM DONG announcement, but I think she just didn’t come last night because she’s working.

Andrew Garfield… is cute. His British accent is lovely. His hair is out of control. But when he presented with Justin Timberlake, Jesse Eisenberg and Armie Hammer, Andrew just seemed like he was still miffed at not getting an Oscar nomination. Like, he was trying to be cool about it, but he was feeling bitchy. It made me think less of him.

Dennis Haysbert – man is fine, and he has a great voice. And he can wear the hell out of a suit. I wish he worked more.

Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth. I could live in a sandwich of these two men, I love them both so much.

God, I just dislike Justin Timberlake on general principle at this point. Are there girls who think he’s sexy? Really?

CB pointed out that James Franco seems to be rocking some kind of large bulge. Is it Franco Dong or is it just his keys? I will say this – I love when he shaves. He’s adorable when he shaves.

I’m not sure what I think of Michael C. Hall’s ginger beard. It’s alarming, to say the least.

Christian Bale, making the first steps towards shaving all of that junk off. I liked how gracious he was when he won. He’s growing on me.

Taye Diggs in a bow tie! TAYE DIGGS IN A BOW TIE.

Jesse Eisenberg, we really need to review your hair. You could be rather cute without all of the bangs and product and neurosis.

I really liked Armie Hammer’s red carpet interview on E! He seems like a big kid, talking too loud and getting overly-excited that he’s hanging out with cool people. It’s sweet. I like when actors get excited about this stuff.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I had a whole point-by-point recap of the SAGs but somehow deleted it when I thought I was deleting another story. It was easily one of my most frustrating moments writing for CB, but I’ll move past it and just jack else’s insight. So this will be much briefer than I was intending. First off, the winners. The King’s Speech and Boardwalk Empire dominated, with some awards to the actors in The Fighter.

MOVIES
Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture
The King’s Speech

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale, The Fighter

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role
Melissa Leo, The Fighter

TELEVISION
Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
Boardwalk Empire

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
Modern Family

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
Betty White, Hot in Cleveland

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
Al Pacino, You Don’t Know Jack

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
Claire Danes, Temple Grandin

Screen Actors Guild Awards 47th Annual Life Achievement Award
Ernest Borgnine

TV Guide has a good “best of” moments countdown, and I agree with most of their points and will add a few of my own in a moment.

10. Most Nurturing: “It shouldn’t be called the SAG award, it should be called the Uplifting Award,” The King’s Speech actor Geoffrey Rush says on behalf of the cast, before giving nods to the movie’s supporting actors, including his on-screen family and Freya Wilson, who played the young future Queen Elizabeth. His SAG family must be very proud.

9. The Kanye West Memorial Award: Has someone been enjoying a little post-Prohibition tipple? A spacey, dark-lipped Paz de la Huerta commandeers the mic after Steve Buscemi’s speech for Boardwalk Empire’s drama ensemble win, to thank the people on her own list.

8. Worst Delivery: Alec Baldwin still loves boss and 30 Rock co-star Tina Fey, so much so that he includes one of her jokes in his acceptance speech. “She’s doing Poehler,” Baldwin says perplexingly of Best Supporting Actress winner Melissa Leo. Apparently, Fey had just said to him, “If you know Amy, she’s doing Amy.” He is met with silence. It’s OK, Alec. Jack Donaghy still rules.

7. Funniest Speech: Is there such a thing as too much Betty White? (Answer: No.) “There wasn’t a prayer!” White says of her chances to win best comedy actress. “You didn’t applaud when I turned 40!” she snarks. Then she glanced down at her naked SAG statuette and stroked it. Lovingly. We love you too, Betty.

6. Best Reaction Shot: Winona Ryder sports a horrified expression when her melodramatic scene plays during the best actress in a TV movie/miniseries category. We wonder if she was thinking what we were thinking: Has it really been that long since Heathers?

5. Biggest Surprise: Winner Christian Bale welcomes Dicky Eklund, the man he portrayed in The Fighter, to join him on stage to accept the Best Supporting Actor trophy. “The original quacker,” Bale says, shaking his hand enthusiastically. “Thank you for living your life and thank you for letting me play you.” It makes Bale’s words about acting — “life without empathy is no life at all” — mean that much more.

4. Best Commercial Interruption: In this DVR age, we’d almost forgotten these existed! A clip montage saluting broadcast advertising is a humorous look back at bite-sized pop culture ranging from the “Where’s the beef?” lady, the Old Spice guy and our favorite actors like Dustin Hoffman, John Cleese and Ken Jeong hawking various wares.

3. Most Unexpected Shout-Out: Julianna Margulies doesn’t forget anyone during her thank-you speech for best actress in a drama for The Good Wife, acknowledging the unsung heroes that have kept production up and running during this especially rough winter. She thanks “all the Teamsters who’ve been digging us out of the snow for the past two weeks.”

2. Worst Rewards Program: The King’s Speech star (and Best Actor winner) Colin Firth reveals how he once tried to use his SAG card, flashing it around “hoping it would get me female attention and free into nightclubs and top-level government departments, and it didn’t.” But at least it made him the King of England.

1. Best Parental Advice: Brush your teeth twice a day. And oh yeah, never be an “a–hole.” That’s one of the lessons that Natalie Portman’s parents taught her, as she recalls in her Best Actress acceptance speech. “It’s never acceptable,” she says. Since we also mind our elders, we’re not going to argue.

[From TV Guide]

Natalie Portman did say “asshole” on television, but she was much more subdued and didn’t gush as much as she did at the Golden Globes. Claire Danes, on the other hand, either had some pharmaceutical assistance or was drunk because she went on at length during her speech and overused the adjective “favorite” when she was trying to thank her husband, Hugh Dancy. I have to quote her because it was too funny. She called the autistic woman she portrayed a “thing,” but it wasn’t meant negatively and she was nervous. “Thank you Temple, who is no act, she is a real thing and I just played her on TV, on HBO. [Music plays] And thank you to my favorite my favorite husband, my favorite actor, my favorite man. My Hugh, My Hugh my love.” The camera panned to Hugh in the audience and he looked pretty toasted too.

Other random things I noticed: everyone looked incredibly shiny at the SAGs, men and women included. At first I thought it was Botox, but it was probably pretty hot in there and the lighting wasn’t that flattering.

Christian Bale gave everyone man hugs before he accepted his award and his speech was very gracious and well done. You can tell he’s really working for that Oscar.

Also, at first I thought Susan Sarandon was there with her boytoy, Jonathan Bricklin, as the guy had his arm around her but it was her son, Jack! Thank goodness because he looked really young for her.

I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised by how many women got it right, or simply didn’t look like the wrath of God at the SAGs. My biggest issue was all of the prom dresses on all of the TV girls, which CB covered. But there were some bigger stars with some big issues. Let’s start off with Hilary Swank! God, I hated Hilary’s dress. It was that horrible nude color that has been everywhere the past few years, and that I really hoped would die. And there was something about the color and her hair and styling… it all just seemed awful. Like… hay. Like… a horse.

Why in the world has Winona Ryder been getting it so wrong lately? Has she just been out of the spotlight for so long, she no longer knows how to dress for the red carpet? Is that a skill you can “forget”? But yeah, the bridal dress with the bad hair and the crazy eyes… it’s all very “Tim Burton presents Winona Ryder as The Corpse Bride”.

I don’t even hate Paz de la Huerta’s dress. I just think this chick is a complete mess. Like, whenever she speaks, I hold my breath, waiting for the trainwreck. But yes, the styling of this look was… drunk. That’s all.

Porn actress Kim Kardashian got to come, for some reason. Hate the dress – it’s a pageant dress. You’d see this on the third runner-up at the Miss Ohio pageant.

Like my mom, I love Amy Adams, but this was hideous. The hair was pulled too tight, the bust of the dress was jacked and unflattering, and the white on her pale skin made her look like a corpse. Bad, bad, bad.

CB already talked about Angie Harmon’s dress, but I can’t help myself. This might be the worst dress of the night. It’s just a frilly pink nightmare. And you know Lea Michele wanted it.

Jessica Hailee Steinfeld in striped Prada. I don’t hate the bright colors or the stripes – I think from the waist up, she looks age-appropriate and cute. But the ruffle at the bottom sucks, and it brings the whole thing down.

Jennifer Lawrence… hideous. She’s such a pretty girl too! But this was just fug, from head to toe. Bad hair, bad makeup, bad fit, bad color, bad bow, bad neckline, BAD.

I’m not sure if I hated any other dress more than Jenna Fisher’s. This junk was AWFUL. It looked like she had stretched out an old sweater. The neckline is all weird and there’s too much extra fabric at the arms and waist.

Talk about unflattering… Eva Longoria. When she walked onto the red carpet, I thought two things: “Wow, she’s gained some weight” and “Did she get a breakup boob job?” Eva is a petite woman, and while I’m glad she didn’t wear her standard strapless, fish-tail gown, I absolutely hate the cut of this dress on her. It makes her look so top-heavy! And she’s not, at all.

Photos courtesy of WENN.