The trainwreck that is Britney Spears just hit another small child left wandering on the tracks by its bad mother. She went on national primetime television without consulting her publicist, got rid of Perry, the one good thing that’s happened to her since she busted a knee and hooked up with K-Fed, and dyed her trademark blonde hair black.

No one was with Britney when she made her typically ignorant and arrogant comments to Matt Lauer on “Dateline.” She brushed off her publicists, and didn’t have a stylist or makeup artist help her get ready. It was all too evident:

Britney probably popped into the local CVS to make her own decision to dye her hair this jet black color. Everyone thought it was a poor wig disguise at first, but now it’s clear that this is Britney’s own hair. (plus extensions.)

The poor girl must have thought she was trying to escape from the paparrazi “Fugitive” style, but she just managed to make herself a more interesting target.

Readers noted after seeing the pictures of Britney and Sean Preston riding around in a golf cart last week that the tot looked sunburned. Yesterday’s photographs show his red little face and head. Britney would say “stuff happens with kids,” but it doesn’t usually happen if you take a little time for precautions. Britney may make her own decisions, but they affect her child and she needs a lot of help.

Update: Britney is said to have turned down a $3.6 million deal to be the new face of Kleenex in a bid for the tissue company to cash in on her tearful down and out image. The source is some British rag, though, and it sounds like something that is completely fabricated.

Pictures [via]

Suri Cruise was born three months ago and there’s not even a single picture of the tot covered up. She must have a vitamin D deficiency because considering all the paparrazi that follow Cruise and Holmes around she surely hasn’t seen the light of day.

Ted Casablanca of E! Online is saying that Tom and Katie are never going to get married and that the wedding plans are indefinitely on hold.

Defamer has a report from an eyewitness that observed a small baby-like bundle from afar that could have been Suri:

This is the first “eyewitness” report we’ve had on this baby, and it’s less than credible. We will sort of believe that the baby exits when we see it, but too much time has passed and we’re going to buy into one of the “conspiracy” theories soon. (It’s not a conspiracy if it’s true!)

Scientology has brainwashed Tom into thinking any kind of publicity for himself is good, but that his little baby, who would soften public opinion of him if she actually exists and is photographed, should be shielded from public view. They’re trying to keep him down and it’s working.

Here is Tom at a photocall in Tokyo for Mission Impossible III. Director JJ Abrams, Maggie Q, Tom Cruise, Keri Russell and producer Paula Wagner are also shown.

Wireimage has these beautiful pictures of Rachel Weisz, Darren Aronofsky and their two-week old mystery baby. Oscar winner Weisz, 35, is engaged to director Aronofsky, whose work includes “Requiem for a Dream.” Wireimage didn’t even list the baby’s name in the captions for these pictures, simply calling him the couple’s son, but Rachel-Weisz.net says he’s called “Henry Chance,” which is quite normal for a celebrity baby.

Weisz must be a dedicated mommy because she didn’t even take time out to wash her hair for this photoshoot.

Update: Images removed upon request.

The vacation is still on, but we’re back posting sooner than expected because it’s just not work to us to talk trash about celebrities.

In Britney’s Dateline Interview she comes off defensive, rude, and dumb. She’s even chewing gum, just like when she was announcing her pregnancy on Letterman! At one point she breaks down and cries when Lauer asks her “what do you think it will take to get the paparrazi to leave you alone?” While I feel sorry for her and don’t blame her for crying, she didn’t handle the first part of the questioning well at all.

She says of the incident where Child Protective Services visited her for Sean Perston’s high chair fall that “they didn’t have to come, the doctor there made them come because I didn’t bring my doctor there with me.” The doctor there made them come because her child was injured and they’re required by law to contact Children and Family Services. That’s idiotic to suggest the reason was because she didn’t bring another doctor. She seems not to understand that is how CPS works.

When asked by Lauer if she tripped on her pants during the near baby-drop fiasco, she says, “I think, uh, actually, I didn’t trip on anything, there was, a NY street, it was cobblestone… I think it was mixture of so many paparrazi and just how the road was all messed up, me just trying to get in the car.” The road was perfecly flat and paved and not cobblestone at all. I live in Europe where there are real cobblestone streets and people manage to walk around holding all sorts of shit without stumbling and falling.

No fucking mention of the highball glass she was carrying at the time, and no admission of even partial guilt or regret for the incident. She blows it off, saying “accidents happen” and using the ridiculous example of her brother’s multiple motorcycle accident at age 13 as a comparison. “Stuff happens with kids,” she explains. Britney, you fucking idiot, you have total responsibility for your baby’s safety and he’s not the same as an adolescent boy.

She says she was crying afterwards because people were trying to take her picture, not because she almost hurt Sean. She also cals a woman ignorant for trying to take her picture at the time. “Ignorant” is not an adjective Britney should introduce into a conversation.

“There will be plenty more oopses, I’m human.” Yes you are, and you’re richer than 99.99% of the world. You can fucking hire someone to help you talk to the press and act like you actually take responsibility for your actions and care about your infant son.

“You have to realize that we’re people, and we need privacy, and we need respect. Those are just things that you have to have as a human.” This is your job, Britney, figure it out. The paparrazi are terrible and all but you need to find a better way to cope.

She does seem to love Sean even though she won’t admit to any guilt or responsibility for his frequent safety mishaps.

Later in the interview she’s in her element when talking about her music and her work, and she explains her brief involvement with the Kabbalah cult well. She has a new clothing line for children coming out, called “Baby Soul Rock and Roll,” and she seems quite excited and happy about it.

While things seem to be looking up for her, she needs professional media coaching and she should never have done this interview.

Here is the relevant part of the interview:

This is part four in the series. Here are the earlier parts of Britney’s interview:

Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 1 of 4
Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 2 of 4
Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 3 of 4
Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 4 of 4 (shown above)

And here she is with a drink in one hand and Sean Preston on her lap on a golf cart in Hollywood on June 8th:
[via]

A satirical site called Postcards from the Pug Bus carried a pretty funny and mildly convincing article that proported that Britney told Matt Lauer in her upcoming interview that she’s going to give birth in Namibia just like Angelina. Postcards from the Pug Bus is like The Onion and makes up funny shit that kind of sounds true.

The article was picked up and run as a real story by China Daily, Playfuls, and even Toronto’s Fashion Monitor! It was then covered in I’m not Obsessed, The Dark Hat, and Best Week Ever Blog. I’m not Obsessed ran it with the title “This cannot be true,” and Best Week Ever could have known it was fake since they’ve run other stories from Pug Bus. (Thanks to WeSmirch for making this “research” extra easy.)

Britney would make a dumb-ass decision like that, and with yesterday’s news that she changed her baby on the floor of a Victoria’s Secret, it’s easy to believe.

The first half of the Pug Bus article contains real details about the interview that are already known. The quotes that follow about Namibia give away the fact that this is made up:

The China Daily and Playfuls articles contained all these improbable quotes, but the Fashion Monitor runs it without any quotes, making it seem like pure delicious fact.

There’s a new video of pregnant Britney at the beach that you can access at BreatheHeavy.com, where we also snagged the header image.

The president of Namibia has supposedly written a personal letter of gratitude to Angelina Jolie to thank her for doing more for the African nation by choosing to pop out her baby there than his tourism budget for the next century:

If it’s true that Namibia is going to declare Shiloh’s birthday a national holiday that just seems like overkill after this over-the-top letter. Angelina is a “founding mother” of Namibia indeed. Do you think someone made this shit up? It sounds too good to be true. Of course Namibia is grateful but this letter is too much.

In related fake news, Star is saying that chain-smoking Aniston plans to confront Angelina for being a homewrecker. I totally doubt this is true.

Star also claims that Angelina wants to move back to France as soon as Brad is finished filming “Oceans 13,” and that Brad wants to get married but Angelina’s against it.That sounds more likely. From their e-mail newsletter:

This is not big news since Angelina has been calling the shots and already dragged the family to her mother’s native France. No matter where they go they’ll be hounded by photographers, though, because there were plenty of pictures of the Jolie-Pitts when they were in Paris.

It’s all well and good for Angelina to say she doesn’t need a nanny when she already has a chef, maid, and personal security staff to do her bidding. It must be easier to focus on your role as mother when there aren’t a ton of other things to do.

Thanks to popbytes for the header image.

Britney changed little SP’s diaper at a Victoria’s Secret lingerie store. She didn’t try to be discreet by using one of the plushy ottomans in the dressing room and just plopped him down next the cash register. When she was done she handed the dirty diaper to the woman at the counter to throw away for her!

She could have changed his diaper in the car, a nearby bathroom, or in the dressing room, but instead she used the floor in a high traffic area of the store. How “country” of her.

Britney shocked diners at a restaurant in early March by changing Sean Preston’s diaper - right on the table in front of other guests trying to enjoy their meals.

Perry may be hot, but he’s a novice in the baby department and what Britney needs is an all-purpose baby coach to advise her on safety and etiquette issues. In other words - she needs some class!

She says the tabloids are too hard on her and that they’ve gone too far, but she continues to make deliberate dumb mistakes.

Here are screencaps from Britney’s interview with Matt Lauer, which airs in its entirety tonight on Dateline. Thanks to BreatheHeavy.com for these photos and the composite image above. They also have portions of Britney’s upcoming interview transcribed.

Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale show off little two and a half week-old Kingston in OK! Magazine.

NoDoubtWeb has a reprint of the OK! accompanying story, which mostly focuses on Gwen’s fashion sense, how cute and likeable the family is, and the fact that Gwen plans to shape up quickly:

Gwen, Gavin and little Kingston plan to move to a bigger house in California. The home where they now live in Los Feliz was purchased by Gwen in 1998 and seems too small for the growing family.

Pictures [via]

X17online, which seems to be the official blog of the X17 paparrazi photo agency, claims to have an exclusive with pictures that show Britney getting into the front seat of her gas-guzzling Escalade with nine month-old Sean Preston. As commentors note, it’s impossible to tell if she sits with SP on her lap as she has so eloquently defended as a “country” practice, or if she climbs into the back of the huge vehicle to put him safely in his carseat. Given Britney’s reputation, it’s hard to speculate whether she would have learned yet that people are watching her and that she needs to be careful, or if she would behave according to stereotype and continue to make dumb decisions that threaten her baby’s safety. We’re not sure, and are posting these pictures to get your comments.

Here is also a video preview of Britney’s Dateline interview, which airs in part on Thursday morning on the Today Show and can be seen in full in a special that evening. She seems really pitiful, and I wish she would just lay low for a while and try to get her identity back rather than granting an interview. Sure she wants people to know that everything is just fine with her sad relationship, but she can’t keep it together and shouldn’t be talking to the press.

People are saying she’s bloated or whatever, but she really looks pregnant to me. Look how she poses defensively on the red carpet, holding her hands over her stomach and looking like she’s trying to hide something. I think she’s wearing a girdle here but still has a bump. It’s below her belly button, not in the stomach area where it should be. If you look at the candid of her outside the Rodin museum, you can see a definite rounding. I may be wishing and hoping for this, since it would make such juicy gossip considering the situation, but I do believe it’s true.

Life and Style Weekly is reporting that Aniston is pregnant. Yes I know that doesn’t make it true, but someone else is reporting it!

Here is Aniston at a “Break Up” screening and photocall in Germany on June 12th and at the gardens of the Rodin museum in Paris on June 11th.