Kevin Federline, who amazed everyone by getting a paid job last week, is under fire from 80s pop star Thomas Dolby for using the signature music from “She Blinded me with Science” on his latest “rap” song accessible from his 1997-era MySpace. (link launches automatic “music”)

Dolby blogs about Federline’s theft of the sample:

[via]

Dolby is touring again as a single act after 15 years, and finds it amusing that press outlets are more interested in his feud with Federline than the fact that he’s revitalizing his music career.

Here is Federline’s wife, Britney Spears, rotting her child’s teeth and accompanying her husband to a promotion gig for his album at Club X in Dallas.

Header image is from Thomas Dolby’s upcoming tour.

Pictures [via]

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We hope this story is not true, because it’s quite ridiculous. Supposedly Cruise has ordered a custom-made pacifier for Katie Holmes to gnaw on during childbirth so that she can keep quiet while squeezing the baby out in accordance with Scientology edicts:

Actually it doesn’t matter if this is true or not, because we know for certain that Kate is supposed to keep quiet during childbirth and that’s bad enough. I personally had a drug-free childbirth and it’s possible with hypnosis and a lot of preparation, but I could not imagine trying to keep quiet in the pushing stage. It’s really hard to get the baby out and there’s nothing wrong with making a little noise.

Someone on the JJB board (board is down now or I would link to it) mentioned that Scientology was created by a man in the 1950s who was a failed science fiction writer. There’s so much more to it than that, including nefarious motivations and some truly evil practices, but that about sums up L. Ron Hubbard’s knowledge of childbirth.

The Scientologists also recommend a barley-based formula for babies, although many Scientologists deny that the cult discourages breastfeeding.

We really wish Katie the best and think it’s terrible how much pressure is being put on her to conform to the ridiculous and misguided rules of Scientology. Childbirth is hard enough without having to be quiet and hand your baby over to strangers after it’s born.

Starpulse has a story stating that little people organizations are outraged that Britney hired people of small stature to entertain her husband at his birthday party in Atlanta. We could find no press releases or official statements confirming this, although it does seem obvious that her actions would upset people:

When we first reported that Britney hired dwarves to entertain her husband, we noted that “People who mock little people are ignorant and stupid.” It’s like hiring someone in black face for laughs, and Britney deserves plenty of criticism for this.

Here are some little people organizations so that we can all be a little more enlightened about how offensive Britney’s actions were. (Again, there are no official press releases, but it may be helpful to get someone else’s point of view.)
- Dwarfism.org, which notes that the term “midget” is highly offensive
- The Children of Difference Foundation
- Little People of America

Britney is said to be due in September if she’s really pregnant. We don’t think that dumb bitch should produce any more children, and hope that the nanny can drum some sense into SP, because he doesn’t have much of a chance with the parents he’s got.

Here’s Britney getting her hair done and talking on the phone yesterday. [via]

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Now that Jolie’s ailing mother is back in France with her pregnant daughter, the media can’t speculate if the baby will be born in the states or France anymore, so they’ve decided to change the venue entirely.

This story sounds so fake it’s laughable, but Jolie is said to want to have the baby in Africa now so that she can continue working for the UN until her baby is born:

Jolie can work for the UN remotely and this doesn’t seem likely. Someone probably made up this story.

Here are pictures of Brad leaving yesterday for a business trip and Angelina with Maddox after he had his face and nails painted.

Pictures [via]

Britney has denied that she’s pregnant, but is said to have gone to a UCLA hospital this weekend for severe stomach cramps. It’s always possible that she had food poisoning or something, but the hospital representative makes it sound as if it was Britney and that she’s pregnant!

Would the hospital representative mess with us like that?

The Britney Spears pregnancy rumors are not going to be put to rest with these latest pictures, which show the new mom in a skintight white dress with a pudge or a bump depending on if you squint hard enough.

Pictures [via] (Linked versions not much larger)

Tom Cruise just appeared on the live 25th anniversay special of the German show Wetten Das tonight. He left around 9:00 PM our time, which is 2:00 PM EST. My husband and I were out to dinner and only caught the second half of the program.

When he was about to leave, Cruise mentioned Holmes specifically and said that she gave him permission to attend:

(It was difficult to understand as Tom was over dubbed in German)

Wetten Das, German for “Wanna Bet?” airs about once a month and is easily the most popular show in Germany. It features celebrity guests, live performances by musicians, and hysterical and creative bets. Today two girls had to identify the lip prints of members of their class. In an earlier episode, a man identified seed types by the sound the seed packets made when shaken. Celebrities take a side in the bet and have to perform silly antics if they’re wrong.

Cruise lost the bet and was supposed to have a motorcycle race as his part of the bargain. Wearing a tight black sweater and jeans, he swaggered over to a white motorcycle, which he was initially unable to start, and rode around the stage. The host, Thomas Gottschalks, came out on a tiny tricycle to “race” Tom.

After the non-race, Tom gave his apologies and left. This is not unusual on Wetten Das - the big celebrities often leave before the end.

The 25th Anniversay special is a huge event, and although Tom should have stayed home with Katie, it’s easy to see why he chose to attend.

The Wetten Das website says (in German) that Tom arrived at 7:45 (the show starts at 8:15) with seven S-class Mercedes limousines. He didn’t even see the stage before he came on.

Update: there is a video interview in English with Cruise accessible from the ZDF network website. Cruise says about the same thing as when he had to leave Wetten Das early - that Katie is about to have the baby “any day now” and gave him permission to go.

Heavily pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow was spotted drinking a Guinness while out with her husband at a sushi bar in NY on Tuesday.

When I was pregnant I would go out for California rolls because they have no raw fish, but are still tasty if you crave some sushi. I never - ever - had a sip of alcohol though. That’s obnoxious and Gwyneth should know better. What a dumb bitch she is.

So supposedly Angelina and Brad are fighting up a storm in Paris and Jennifer Aniston is gloating. None of these rumors require any facts to back them up, because they’re pretty easy to make up given that we know practically everything about these people since they’re hounded by photographers and reporters every day.

Star says that Brad misses the states and that he’s fighting with Angelina over the wedding, which she says isn’t happening. They also say Angelina is very passionate (that’s a leap) and doesn’t fight fair with Brad.

Meanwhile Jen is waiting for the couple to break up, which is also no surprise:

And the article goes on to quote The Bosh, which says that Aniston’s trying to get pregnant with her bloated boyfriend, Vince Vaughn, but that she doesn’t care if they get married first. God forbid she should try to give up cigarettes in a bid to increase her fertility.

We seriously doubt that anything dire is wrong with the Jolie-Pitts, and hope that Aniston’s womb stays barren forever.

Here is Angelina shopping at a craft store and visiting a Yoga center in Paris with little Maddox yesterday. Note the sheer number of professional and amateur photographers following her. We sometimes think that A-listers make a pact with the devil. The money can’t be worth it.

Pictures [via]

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So both pro and anti-choice people predictably dislike the ridiculous Britney Spears statue that shows Britney giving birth on a bearskin run next to some anti-choice pamphlets.

At the very least, it’s inaccurate. Britney had a scheduled c-section and never considered abortion. (We made that last part up, but it’s probably true.)

If all goes well, the controversial statue will go on display for two weeks at the Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery in Brooklyn. You can bet a lot of protestors will be there.

Here is Britney in all her newly pregnant (?) glory - see the picture above because we’re not commenting - at a dance studio in Malibu with her son yesterday. She was said to have given a special performance as a fundraiser for the school.

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This cute blurry pic of Jennifer Garner and her four month-old daughter, Violet, emerged today.

Garner has pledged to get nude for her upcoming thriller as we reported three days ago. She has said that she is losing her baby weight slowly with a healthy diet and exercise to prepare for the role.

Picture [via]