Last night, some B-listers came out for the Whitney Museum Gala. The event isn’t really important, because no one could pay attention to anything other than Michelle Monaghan’s terrible bangs trauma. I know. I get it. Some of the (ig)noble bangs defenders are going to come in and start yelling that not all bangs are created equal and it’s unfair to paint all trauma with the same hate-filled brush. But seriously, can anyone defend Michelle’s hair at this point?

Remember when Michelle was supposed to “happen”? She got some significant parts and then… not much. This year she’s in Machine Gun Preacher with Gerard Butler, playing the “wife” role. That’s all she ever gets, really. I feel like I shouldn’t even know who she is. I’ve only made a mental note of her recently because she gave herself bangs for the publicity tour for MGP. And now it’s just getting worse and worse.

I should mention this – I had thick, overgrown bangs like this. When I was 9 years old. I’m still traumatized by the effort and time it took to grow them out, and how bad my hair looked while said bangs were being grown out. Do you bangs-happy ladies out there not think about that? Do you not think about how bad it’s going to look when you’re growing out your trauma?

I’m also including a photo of Bar Refaeli, who was also at the event. I just can’t get on the Bar bandwagon. She doesn’t have the face of a supermodel. She has the face of a Sears model. Bangin’ body, though. And I like that Marchesa dress on her.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’ve liked Rose Byrne for a while now – I was a big fan of the first seasons of Damages, and I think Rose is so awesome for showing off her (incredible) comedic chops in stuff like Get Him to the Greek, and the soon-to-be-released Bridesmaids. She could have just stuck with dramatic roles, you know? But she’s showing everybody that she doesn’t have to choose. So for that, I love her. I also kind of love this hot pink mess of a dress. It’s by Prabal Gurung, and very few women could pull it off. Rose can! Now, what I don‘t love: the new bangs trauma. Why in God’s name did she do this herself? She looked beautiful without the bangs trauma, as this handy photo of Rose standing in front of the bangs-trauma-less Bridesmaids poster can attest:

I know some bangs (trauma) lovers will yell at me and say she looks fine. But if you’re going to do bangs trauma, do they really have to be so friggin’ long? These are too long, too thick, and the little “extra” pieces (traumatic additions) are just bad.

Here are pics of Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph at the same premiere. Maya looks so cute! I had totally forgotten that she was pregnant. This is her… second? THIRD… with writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson…? Probably. And Kristin looks cute too, although the dress and the styling kind of falls short. She could have looked a lot better – she has the raw material, she just needs some help putting it all together.

Photos courtesy of Fame.