Now let me just say at the beginning that I found this National Enquirer story to be both extremely insulting, as well as genuinely amusing. Is it sexist? Sure. But it’s also kind of funny. According to the Enquirer, Hillary Clinton has been stress eating like a madwoman, and she’s put on quite a bit of weight just in the past five months or so. I’m putting photos up of Hillary in the past two months, and while it does look like she’s put on a little weight, it’s not the “40 pounds in 4 months” that the Enquirer claims. My guess is 15-20 pounds in 4 months. Stress eating is a bitch, and I can’t even imagine Hillary’s stress level as Secretary of State. So I’m giving her a pass, in general, one woman to another. Hillary, if you want to come over for some cookies, cream pies and cocktails, I’m here. If anything, the idea that Hillary is a stress eater who downs cream pies in between pouring over diplomatic cables makes me like her even more. But the truly funny part comes when the Enquirer tries to convince us that Bill Clinton doesn’t like Hillary’s weight gain. Um, who buys that? Bubba loves chubby girls. Always has, always will.

Super-busy HILLARY CLINTON has packed on 40 extra pounds – and she blew up at former tubby hubby when BILL suggested that she check into a fat farm!

In the past four months, the secretary of state has ballooned to a hefty 171 pounds while criss-crossing the globe on diplomatic missions and dealing with the WikiLeaks scandal, sources say. The 63-year-old politician has been binge eating instead of exercising, and ex-president Bill made the mistake of telling his 5-foot-7 wife that she was looking chunky, insiders say.

“With her nonstop workload, Hillary has ditched her regular gym schedule. She’s been eating rich, fatty foods while dining with heads of state around the globe – and it’s no wonder she’s gained 40 pounds in the last four months. Now she’s hit an all-time personal high of 171 pounds,” a Clinton friend told The ENQUIRER.

“Poor Hillary feels terrible about the way she looks, but she is so busy she isn’t making time for her own needs.”

Making things even worse is her husband of 35 years – who’s battled his own weight woes until becoming thinner recently. Bill pointed out that she needed to do something, sources say.

“When Hillary asked him how she looked, he told her, ‘You’re huge! You need to go to a fat farm!’ Then he made things worse by saying treadmills and stair climbers were fun,” a pal told The ENQUIRER. “Hillary exploded! She doesn’t need anyone saying she needs to go to a fat farm!”

Pals say Hillary’s biggest problem is her hectic travel schedule. Since July, she’s traveled to Poland, Azerbaijan, Armenia, Georgia, Bosnia, Kosovo, Belgium, VietNam, Cambodia, and many more. She’s also been under tremendous pressure over the damage done to the State Department by the WikiLeaks scandal.

“It’s caused her to do something she’s seldom done – binge eating,” said a friend. “In weak moments, Hillary has been staying up late nursing her stresses by pounding down rich desserts like cream pies, doughnuts, and ice cream sundaes with whipped cream. Bill was a champion junk food eater in the old days, but since his heart surgeries, he’s watched his diet and he’s concerned about Hillary’s weight gain.”

A Clinton friend adds: “Bill was never more proud of the way Hillary looked than when they danced the night away at their daughter Chelsea’s wedding in July. But since then, Hillary has piled on the pounds and doesn’t need reminding how out of shape she is. She will decide when she can find the time to go to a high-end spa or a fat farm, not Bill. But it will be soon – Bill is determined to help her get her weight under control and has convinced her it’s for her own good.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition & online edition]

Yeah. Bubba never told Hillary that she needed to go to a fat farm. First of all, if he did say that, Hillary would smack the crap out of him. Second of all, he didn’t say it. He probably told her she never looked better. As I said, Bubba loves “a little extra” on his women. Oh, and my third point – I kind of don’t buy that Hillary and Bubba even spend that much time together any more. Why would Bubba be monitoring Hillary’s weight when he’s probably flying all over on party jets with hookers? Just a thought.

Also… if Hillary is concerned about this, while she comes over for pies, cocktails and cookies, I’m going to share my wisdom about never wearing horizontal stripes.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

With all the things that President Clinton could be doing – like his charity work and charging six figures for speeches about building bridges, he’s chosen to take a cameo role in a comedy film. Bill Clinton will appear in Hangover 2, a film that was dangerously close to showcasing Mel Gibson’s “comeback,” but replaced Mel with Liam Neeson when cast and crew complained about it. Bubba will appear in the film as himself, and fingers crossed that there will be a few well-placed jabs at his sex scandal.

First Mike Tyson and now … Bill Clinton?

Sure enough, that will be the former president sharing screen-time with the fun-loving guys in The Hangover 2, now filming in Thailand, a Clinton source confirms to PEOPLE.

Clinton, who’ll play himself in the comedy, shot his brief appearance on Saturday in Bangkok, where part of the production takes place. He was in the capital city to deliver a speech on clean energy.

Fans of the first Hangover will remember Mike Tyson’s memorable performance in that movie last year, while this sequel recently made news for the coming and going of Mel Gibson, whose cameo role will now be filled by Liam Neeson.

Directed by Todd Philips, the sequel, like the original, also stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis and Justin Bartha.

[From People]

I wonder how this all came about. Like I imagine the director and some of the cast were getting blasted in the hotel bar when they saw Clinton there and got up the courage to invite him over. They all hung out, had a few beers, and Bill like “sure, I’ll shoot with you guys tomorrow, what the hell?” Now we have a two time President making a cameo in an R-rated comedy. I would say that he should be above such things, but times have changed for sure. That said, do you think he got paid for it?

So, apparently we don’t have access to any photos of Chelsea Clinton in her strapless Vera Wang wedding gown, which is unfortunate. Chelsea was a very pretty bride, and if you go to MSNBC here, you can see Bubba walking her down the aisle. He looks like he’s about to cry, but to Bubba’s credit, he didn’t make the walk all about him, you know. He seems like he’s really trying (just by reading his body language, so this is subjective) to make sure the day is all about Chelsea. Good dad. Anyway, it seems like the wedding went off without a hitch and everyone had a great time. And of course, there were plenty of A-List guests (no Oprah, though):

RHINEBECK, N.Y. — Chelsea Clinton wed her longtime boyfriend under extraordinary security in an interfaith ceremony at an elegant Hudson River estate late Saturday.

Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham Clinton announced in a statement that their daughter wed investment banker Marc Mezvinsky after weeks of secrecy and buildup that had celebrity watchers flocking to the small village of Rhinebeck for the evening nuptials. The site of the wedding, a Beaux Arts riverside estate called Astor Courts, was sealed off from the general public.

“Today, we watched with great pride and overwhelming emotion as Chelsea and Marc wed in a beautiful ceremony at Astor Courts, surrounded by family and their close friends,” the Clintons said. “We could not have asked for a more perfect day to celebrate the beginning of their life together, and we are so happy to welcome Marc into our family. On behalf of the newlyweds, we want to give special thanks to the people of Rhinebeck for welcoming us and to everyone for their well-wishes on this special day.”

Chelsea Clinton, wearing a Vera Wang strapless white gown with a full skirt and silver beading around the waist and carrying a bouquet of white flowers, was escorted down the aisle by her father. The former president and the groom wore dark suits, while the mother of the bride wore a fuchsia dress designed by Oscar de la Renta.

It is estimated that hundreds of guests gathered at the historic estate near the end of a near-perfect summer day of warm temperatures, blue skies and cottony clouds. The ceremony honored both Christian and Jewish traditions as Chelsea Clinton is Methodist and Mezvinsky is Jewish.

The New York Times reported that the ceremony was conducted by Rabbi James Ponet, a Jewish chaplain at Yale University, and the Rev. William Shillady, executive director of the United Methodist City Society, and included friends and family reading the Seven Blessings, often recited at Jewish weddings after the vows and exchange of rings. The couple read a poem by Leo Marks titled “The Life That I Have,” according to the family.

The wedding was a mix of high society and high security. The road to Astor Courts was blocked off Saturday — neighbors received bottles of wine for their troubles — and the sky above was declared a no-fly zone by federal aviation officials. Police and security guards fanned out around this usually sleepy town.

Consistent with Chelsea Clinton’s desire for privacy, the family had released no details of the wedding beyond the date. But the scope of the event became apparent when more than a half-dozen busloads of wedding guests — men in black tie, women in dresses — were transported from a hotel in the village to the riverside ceremony as gawkers looked on.

Celebrities spotted in Rhinebeck for the event included actors Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen, fashion designer Vera Wang, Madeleine Albright, who was secretary of state during Bill Clinton’s second term as president and Terry McAuliffe, former Democratic National Committee chairman. The former president’s half brother, Roger Clinton, was spotted early Saturday afternoon with his son Tyler, picking up food at a restaurant.

Danson and Steenburgen said they were excited about the upcoming ceremony as they strolled through Rhinebeck toward one of the hotels being used for the wedding.

“I knew her since she was a baby so this is a big moment,” said Steenburgen, who wed Danson in 1995. “She’s a lovely, lovely girl.”

Reporters, who had been searching for celebrities in vain for most of the day, quickly zeroed in on the couple, prompting Danson to ask, “Are we the only celebrities in town?”

Celebrity seekers jockeyed with reporters for sidewalk space over most of the day too. Donna Vena drove 50 miles to Rhinebeck from her home of Mount Kisco, N.Y., in the hopes of spotting a celebrity.

“Why not?” she asked Saturday morning, a camera slung over her shoulder. “Big story. Maybe see Oprah.”

Nearby, two young women passed out slices of pizza with “I do” written in pepperoni.
Meanwhile, a longtime Clinton family friend denied that the wedding would cost more than $1 million. The friend, who spoke on condition of anonymity in keeping with the family’s desire for privacy, said the cost will not exceed six figures. Wedding experts told The Associated Press the wedding could cost $2 million to $3 million, while other outlets said it could hit $5 million.

Hundreds of people gathered outside the hotel where many of the guests are staying were rewarded Friday night when the Clintons exited a van arm-in-arm outside the Beekman Arms Hotel.

Shortly before 11 p.m., the former first lady, wearing a long green dress, waved to the cheering crowd waiting behind metal barricades and quickly went into the hotel. She left with the former president about a half-hour later.

Earlier Friday, Bill Clinton made an appearance around lunchtime, popping out of a car and walking a few blocks, greeting people on his way to a restaurant. Looking fit and relaxed in blue jeans and a black knit shirt, he gave easy answers to questions shouted by well-wishers and reporters.

“We’re all fine. We love it here,” he said, when asked how he was. “Chelsea loves the area as well.”

And what do you think of Mr. Mezvinsky, Mr. President, someone asked.

“I like him very much,” Clinton said. “I really do. I admire him. Hillary feels the same way.”

Chelsea Clinton and Mezvinsky were friends as teenagers in Washington, and both attended Stanford University. They now live in New York, where Mezvinsky works at G3 Capital, a Manhattan hedge fund. Mezvinsky worked previously at Goldman Sachs as an investment banker.

Clinton completed her master’s degree in public health earlier this year at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University. Mezvinsky is a son of former U.S. Reps. Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinsky of Pennsylvania and Ed Mezvinsky of Iowa, longtime friends of the Clintons. His parents are divorced.

[From MSNBC]

You know what I like? That even though Chelsea likes things very private, and that her parents really fight to maintain her sense of privacy, that Chelsea didn’t get too overwrought with wedding details and photos and everyone paying attention to her. Her wedding became a public event, but in a really nice, respectful way. Congratulations and Mazel tov to the happy couple. Here are some additional photos from Rhinebeck of all of the town’s festivities and some more photos of Bubba and Hillary out and about for the pre-wedding festivities (check out Hillary’s muu-muu!):

Header: Chelsea & her now-husband Marc on September 25, 2009. Credit: WENN.

Chelsea Clinton’s wedding is happening any day now! Everybody is pretty excited, and many think that the wedding will be the social event of the summer. The Clintons have so many well-connected friends, and given that Chelsea is their only child (and a beloved child at that), I’m getting the feeling that both Bill and Hillary are encouraging Chelsea to spare no expense for this occasion – the wedding is expected to cost upwards of $5 million. Above is today’s cover of Women’s Wear Daily – a floppy-hat-wearing Chelsea entering the Vera Wang store in NYC. Most sources are pretty confidant that Chelsea is going with a Wang wedding gown, which is a smart and classic choice. Although – Hillary has been seen around Oscar de la Renta’s store, so there was some gossip Chelsea could go old-school princess in de la Renta. My guess is that Hillary is the one who will wear de la Renta, something beautiful and conservative, befitting the Mother of the Bride. Anyway, no designer is talking to the press.

It’s pretty much established that Chelsea will have her ceremony and her reception at the Astor Courts in Rhinebeck, New York, and that the Clintons are staying at the home of Eric and Andrea Colombel – Andrea is the daughter of George Soros, a longtime Clinton supporter.

As for the groom, his name is Marc Mezvinsky, and little is known about him. He seems just as secretive and quiet as Chelsea, and they’ve been together for several years. Just the fact that we know so little about him makes me think that he’s perfect for Chelsea. The Early Show did this profile on him:

And finally, yes, Pres. Obama is not going to make it. My guess is that it’s not some sort of Obama-hates-the-Clintons story and more about Pres. Obama not wanting to pull focus from the bride, plus he doesn’t want to turn her wedding into a SWAT convention with all of the added security.

How much do you think Bubba is going to cry? My guess: buckets.

WWD cover courtesy of HuffPo.

This story got me all choked up. Laura Ling is one of the two Current.TV journalists imprisoned in a North Korean work camp for five months last year after receiving a 12 year sentence for illegally entering the country. Laura and her colleague Euna Lee were released thanks to the help of former President Bill Clinton, and had a tearful reunion with their families last August.

There’s some wonderful news for the Ling family after their ordeal. Laura, 33, and her husband, financial analyst Iain Clayton, 43 welcomed their first child yesterday, a baby daughter named Li Jefferson Clayton. Li is for Laura’s sister, Lisa, and Jefferson is for President Clinton’s middle name.

At 7:36 p.m. PT on Wednesday, Ling, 33, and financial analyst Clayton, 43, welcomed daughter Li Jefferson Clayton at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Burbank, Calif. She weighed 8 lbs., 2 oz.

“Her parents are too speechless,” Laura’s sister Lisa Ling, former co-host on The View – and now a correspondent for The Oprah Winfrey Show – tells PEOPLE. But Lisa adds, “Li is super adorable!”

Laura Ling told PEOPLE last month that while she was in captivity, she thought, “I am never going to be able to start a family.” But after learning she would have a girl in January, she and Clayton decided to name her “Li,” after sister Lisa.

As for Li’s middle name, Jefferson, Lisa Ling explains it is in tribute to William Jefferson Clinton. “He has checked in on me several times to see how I’m doing,” Laura told PEOPLE, “and has been so concerned and caring. He’s such a wonderful human being.”

[From People]

Laura has a new book out, written with her sister, correspondent Lisa Ling, called Somewhere Inside: One Sister’s Captivity in North Korea and the Other’s Fight to Bring Her Home. I heard Laura and Lisa on NPR’s Fresh Air a few weeks ago promoting the book and discussing what they went through. Their story was so moving and ultimately triumphant.

Laura and Euna were filming a documentary on North Korean defectors, and were initially careful to remain in China. According to Laura, she and Euna didn’t intend to cross over into North Korea without a Visa and were possibly set up by a guide they had hired, who convinced them to cross into the country over a frozen river. They knew they were going into North Korea, but it wasn’t their idea at first. They were on North Korean soil for just a minute before they were seized and beaten by border guards. Laura and Euna were separated shortly after they were captured.

After her conviction for conspiring to bring down the North Korean government, to which she confessed hoping to receive leniency, Laura was given vague and conflicting information from her captors. They first indicated that former President Carter would be a sufficient envoy to secure her freedom, but then rejected Carter once he agreed to the mission. It was only when President Clinton agreed that Laura was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Laura spoke with Lisa occasionally on the phone, and Lisa was working fervently with her contacts within the government, including Current.TV’s CEO Al Gore, to try and secure her sister’s freedom. They heaped praise on President Clinton’s expert diplomacy, and told a story about how Clinton had to practice looking stoic in preparation for talks with North Korean authorities including dictator Kim Jong-il. Clinton was faced with the delicate issue of refusing to attend some events the North Koreans had planned for him, all while working to get Euna and Laura released and improving relations with the country.

Of course President Clinton was successful and Laura and Euna came home. Now the Ling family has a new arrival, named in honor the man who helped free Laura and the sister who worked tirelessly to make that happen. Congratulations to Laura and Iain!

Here’s some fun political gossip. I don’t think anyone expects former President Bill Clinton to be faithful to his globe-trotting wife, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. I mean, even when he had the most high stress, high profile job in the world, Billy couldn’t keep his hands, pen*s or cigars to himself. But of all the women out there to keep him company while his wife is trying to settle conflicts around the world, did you ever think Martha Stewart would be his type? Well, if you believe The National Enquirer, Hillary is telling her old pal to back off and stay away from her husband. Oh, the scenes in my head….

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has launched a cold ware against her former pal Martha Stewart – after the domestic diva made a play for her husband Bill, say insiders.

“Hillary is furious with Martha because she frequently drops by Bill’s office in New York City, and has also visited Bill at the Clinton’s home when Hillary is out of town,” divulged the source.

“It’s as if Martha is stalking Bill, and Hillary is fed up. She’s warned Martha to stay away from her man.”

The guru of good living was once a big political supporter of the ex-president and his wife, but Hillary froze out Martha after she was indicted in an insider stock trading scandal, and Martha deeply resents it.

Hillary heard from mutual pals that Martha was vowing to get back at her, “but Martha never blamed Bill, and a few months ago, she decided to see if he wanted to be friends again,” said the source.

“So she sent a long, handwritten letter to his office asking how he was and saying she admired the work his foundation was doing. Martha offered to help and said they should get together.

“Bill jumped at the chance. He invited Martha to his office in Harlem and took her to lunch at his favorite soul food restaurant. They started talking regularly and having lunch together. Recently, Bill invoted Martha to dinner at the house in Chappaqua when Hillary was overseas.

“Martha was thrilled when it turned out to be just the two of them – with candlelight, champagne, and a famous chef cooking a gourmet meal.

“When Hillary heard about it from her household spies, she blew up!

“She yelled at Bill for ‘carrying on’ with Martha, but reserved her most choice words for Martha, saying it was obvious she wanted to get revenge on her by having an affair with her husband.

“She told Bill that she wasn’t even going to ask if he’d been intimate with Martha because she knew he’d lie about it if he had.

“After yelling herself hoarse, Hillary stormed out. She’s barely spoken to Bill since.

“This isn’t some young bimbo involved with Bill. It’s a powerful, wealthy woman – and one who despises her. Hillary feels this is a worse betrayal than many others.”

[From The National Enquirer print version, April 19 2010]

I have a hard time believing this for two reasons: first, there is no way Bill Clinton would be “intimate” with a woman like Martha because she is nowhere near trashy and young enough for him. And second, I don’t think Hillary gives a crap what Bill does anymore. She’s got her own career and her own thing going on. I always thought that she stayed with Bill for the very specific reason of building her own name and career in politics, and now that she’s a success in her own right, I don’t think she could be bothered with Bill’s indiscretions. Now, Martha, on the other hand? I think she is just that big of a bitch that she totally would launch a revenge plan on someone that could include seducing their husband. I have to laugh at the whole sordid story though – doesn’t it sound like something straight out of a “Dynasty” episode?

I find it fascinating to hear about celebrity relatives who are down on their luck. It just goes to show that there are all types in this world when some of the richest and most successful are closely related to people who end up barely scraping by or on the wrong side of the law. It also illustrates that not everyone is willing to share their wealth, and in many cases there are good reasons for that. There’s Mark Wahlberg’s sister, who spent time in jail last year for shooting at her boyfriend, Tobey Maguire’s grandfather, who relies on Social Security, and Woody Harrelson’s dad, who died in prison where he was serving two life sentences for murder.

Compared to those examples, this one is relatively mild. 18 year-old Macy Clinton*, the niece of former president Bill Clinton, is using food stamps to get by after she lost her job at Old Navy. Macy is the daughter of Bill’s troubled brother, Roger, who made headlines for a 1985 cocaine conviction. Roger hasn’t seen Macy since she was 8. He promised to attend her graduation last year but was a no-show. He’s also not giving her any support at all despite promising to set up a $20,000 trust fund for her. Ironically, Macy’s uncle may have reduced the amount of time she’s eligible for assistance by passing the welfare reform act 14 years ago. I doubt he thought that any of his relatives would ever have to rely on it.

Macy was born after a 1990 romance between President Clinton’s brother and her mother, Martha Spivy, 44. DNA tests proved that Roger was her father.

They last met when she was 8, but they’ve spoken many times on the phone – the last time when he agreed to come to Gaineboro, Tenn, to see her receive her diploma at Jackson County High School.

Macy’s bitter disappointment over his no-show made the teen determined to make it on her own and work and save for cosmetology school.

“I got a job at Old Navy and an apartment of my own with a rommate,” she said. “I hoped I wouldn’t have to ask my dad for anything again.”

But after Christmas, Old Navy cut Macy’s hours back.

“I suddenly found myself with $300 in bills, plus payments for rent, car insurance and phone,” she said. “I put it off as long as I could – but by February, I had no choice but to apply for food stamps.

Macy said she called her dad, leaving a message saying she desperately needed his help.

“But he never called me back,” she said, brushing back tears.

Macy’s mom Martha said that if Roger had kept another promise, Macy would be starting out in life on solid ground.

“Years ago Roger agreed to set up a trust fund and fund it every year so that when Macy turned 18 she would have a nest egg of around $20,000,” Martha told the Enquirer.

“But since she turned 18, we’ve heard nothing about it.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, April 19, 2010]

This is just a case of a young person out of a job and is sadly all too common lately. It sounds like she’s trying her best and isn’t on any substances, although it’s hard to tell. Macy’s predicament sounds like an honest one and doesn’t compare to some of the massive self-inflicted problems of other celebrity relatives. There’s another Presidential niece, Jeb Bush’s daughter Noelle, who had a crack addiction and was busted for a fake prescription. There’s also Al Gore’s son, who was busted for pot and pill possession in two separate traffic violation incidents. Cracked.com has a list of the top deadbeat celebrity relatives and at number one is a Kennedy relation, Michael Skakel, who killed a girl when he was in his teens and then fled the country, escaping prosecution for 27 years.

Macy’s dad Roger is also on Cracked’s list. They note that Time reported that Roger, who served a year in federal prison for a 1985 cocaine conviction and was later pardoned by his brother, was once suspected of conspiring with the mafia. “According to TIME, the family of a Gambino crime family soldier handed a $50,000 check to one of Roger’s companies in 1999, just months after Roger sought leniency from the U.S. Parole Commission for the mobster, who was serving a 45-year sentence for heroin trafficking. That’s probably just a coincidence, though.” Maybe Macy is better off relying on food stamps than asking her dad for help until she can get back on her feet. She probably doesn’t have a relationship with her other famous relatives and it’s doubtful she’ll get an invite to her cousin Chelsea’s lavish wedding.

*Note: Macy’s birth year makes her at least 19, but the Enquirer says she’s 18.

As it turns out, even though the only initial photos were of Brad Pitt and Maddox arriving at Miami International Airport ahead of the Super Bowl, Angelina came too! Maybe she came on a different flight, maybe she and God have an arrangement where she can just fly to Miami on an angel’s wings or something. Anyway, several photographers got photos of Brad, Angelina and Maddox in some kind of sky box, celebrating the Saints’ win last night. Unfortunately, it doesn’y look like we’ve got access to those photos, so you can see the cuteness here or here.

At this point, it seems Maddox and Brad are now die-hard Saints fans, and Brad managed to score some tickets to the big game. Brad also took Maddox to a NFC Divisional Playoff Game in New Orleans last month, and he and Maddox got to sit right on the field – with Patricia Clarkson! There is no sign that Brad is meeting with Patricia in Miami, though, although I’m positive he’s sending her some sexy texts (the gerbils told me).

Brad Pitt and Maddox took off from LAX today headed to Miami to attend tomorrow’s Super Bowl! Maddox has become quite the little Saints fan after spending so much time in New Orleans where they own a house. Brad and Mad went to a game in January, and the little guy was already decked out in a jersey for today’s flight. The Super Bowl is always a star-studded event, but with the Jolie-Pitts joining the group it should be an especially exciting Sunday.

[From Pop Sugar]

Speaking of the gerbils and their gossipy ways, Ian Halperin wrote an article for The Daily Mail over the weekend, and he’s still pushing the “Brad and Angelina are seriously already broken up, just wait for it… wait for it… I’m not lying I swear, just wait for it” story. I think Halperin is a f-cking moron, a delusional hack and a complete disgrace, but if you’d like to read through a work of pure fiction, the full Daily Mail piece is here. Some of the highlights include Halperin swearing up and down that Angelina can’t even sit down to a read a book without spitting, hissing and screaming at Brad over nothing; that Brad has turned to Drew Barrymore for help and a shoulder to cry on; that Angelina and Brad have decided to stay quiet about their split for several months, then suddenly announce it, like Guy Ritchie and Madonna.

Honestly, though, one of my favorite parts of the story is Halperin’s ideas about what Angelina will do post-split. Halperin claims that when they announce the split, Angelina “will have her eyes on a new man. As in the past, it is likely to be someone already in a marriage or attached. Jolie’s romantic ambitions now run far beyond showbusiness.” Apparently, she’s got her eye on President Clinton or Prince William. Oh, snap! Angelina Clinton? Angelina, Princess of Wales? That would be epic!

Brad Pitt and Maddox arriving at Miami International Airport on February 6, 2010. Credit: INFphoto.com. Angelina and Pres. Clinton at the Clinton Global Initiative on Sept. 26, 2007. Credit: WENN.

Former first daughter Chelsea Clinton is finally officially engaged! Chelsea’s betrothed is her longtime boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky. As much as I’d like to put a photo up of the two of them, we don’t have access to any pictures of this guy, so go to ABC News’ first report on the engagement to see Marc. He’s pretty cute. Dark hair, intelligent eyes, nice body. You know Chelsea doesn’t go for boy-toys. She wants a true partner, and Marc has put in the time to woo her. The National Enquirer has been doing endless reports about Chelsea’s engagement for most of the year – allegedly, she was supposed to get married at Martha’s Vineyard over the summer. But this official report seems to indicate they just got engaged over the holidays.

Chelsea Clinton has announced that she is engaged to longtime boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky.

According to ABC News, they sent an email to friends on Friday, Nov. 27.

It read: “We’re sorry for the mass email but we wanted to wish everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving! We also wanted to share that we are engaged! We didn’t get married this past summer despite the stories to the contrary, but we are looking toward next summer and hope you all will be there to celebrate with us. Happy Holidays! Chelsea & Marc.”

Clinton spokesman Matt McKenna told ABC News he believed the couple became engaged on Thanksgiving in New York.

Clinton, 29, and Mezvinsky — the son of former Rep. Ed Mezvinsky, D-Iowa, and former Rep. Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinksy, D-Penn. — have been close since their teens when their parents worked in D.C.

They got even closer when they both attended Stanford University. Rumors surfaced earlier this year that the two were planning to wed in August.

[From Us Weekly]

Congratulations for Chelsea and Marc! I’m happy for them. Chelsea seems like a good egg, even though she pissed me off a little during her mom’s campaign last year. But I won’t even concentrate on that – I’m worried about her actual wedding ceremony. You know Hillary’s probably thrilled beyond all belief, and will likely organize the hell out that wedding. But Bubba… oh, Bubba. You know he’s a wreck. His little girl is getting married. He’s probably crying right now. Oh, Bubba.

Chelsea Clinton at her dad’s Global Initiative in New York, September 23, 2009. Also photographed at her mom’s swearing-in as Secretary of State on February 2, 2009. Credit: WENN.

Yesterday, former President Bill “Bubba” Clinton went to North Korea on a very special mission. Many theorized Tuesday morning that Bubba wouldn’t fly off to that country without something big being planned and negotiated beforehand. Turns out, they were right. After a three-and-a-half hour “negotiation” (in what amounted to a series of photo ops and North Korean attempts at propaganda), Bubba got the two American journalists out of their “hard labor” jail sentence/detention through a pardon by Kim Jong Il. Back in March, Euna Lee and Laura Ling, correspondents for Al Gore’s Current TV, were caught crossing over the North Korean border, and in June, were sentenced to 12 years hard labor. Their release became one of the many terse subjects in back-door negotiations between North Korea and America, and I’m personally surprised that it took so little to get these women out. Sources are claiming that the talks were “exhaustive”, but Bubba left North Korea within hours, with Laura and Euna in tow:

Laura Ling and Euna Lee were headed to Los Angeles from North Korea. For their families, their arrival couldn’t come soon enough.

“We are counting the seconds to hold Laura and Euna in our arms,” the relatives of the American journalists say in a statement.

Ling, 32, and Lee, 36, who work for former Vice President Al Gore’s Current TV, were released from custody Tuesday – pardoned, the North Korean media said, the same day that former President Bill Clinton met with them and with the country’s leader Kim Jong II.

“The families of Laura Ling and Euna Lee are overjoyed by the news of their pardon,” says the statement. “We especially want to thank President Bill Clinton for taking on such an arduous mission and Vice President Al Gore for his tireless efforts to bring Laura and Euna home. We must also thank all the people who have supported our families through this ordeal, it has meant the world to us.”

Gore, who had remained quiet during the ordeal, said on his Twitter page, “We are overjoyed by Laura and Euna’s safe return.” The families also thanked Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who had engaged in diplomatic efforts.

In an email to the journalists’ colleagues, Current TV co-founder Joel Hyatt called the pair “extraordinary women who have shown remarkable courage and initiative” and said their ordeal will not have been in vain.

“To Laura and Euna, we promise this: Your courage and passion will be honored by Current’s continued commitment to telling the stories that no one else will tell,” Hyatt wrote. “We owe you no less. Celebrate!”

[From People]

Well, I’m glad that the women were released, I’m sure their families are overjoyed. I’m also impressed with Bubba’s skill in either/both the negotiations and the staging of the North Korean visit. Officially, Bubba was acting alone, “after the women’s families asked him to travel to the communist country and seek their release, a senior administration official said Tuesday.” But wink, wink, nod, of course Bubba went with the express permission of his wife, the secretary of state, and the current president. CNN is even reporting that Bubba offered an apology to Kim Jong Il, but the apology was not on behalf of America, or the current administration. Hopefully, this incident will help further negotiations about larger subjects, like nuclear war.