Brad Pitt got to celebrate his 48th birthday with his family this weekend, in Las Vegas. That’s a thing for him, isn’t it? I feel like Brad and Angelina go to Vegas for his birthday often. One year, wasn’t it a boxing match? Anyway, for this year’s festivities, Brad didn’t get a date night with his girl, he got family-friendly entertainment by way of the Cirque Du Soleil. Yes, Brad, Angelina and the kids all went to see Michael Jackson The Immortal. We don’t have the blurry photos of the Jolie-Pitts in Vegas – you can see them here.

Brad Pitt’s birthday weekend was quite a “thriller”!

The Moneyball star, who turns 48 on Sunday, was joined by longtime love Angelina Jolie and their six children in Las Vegas Saturday night to experience the Michael Jackson The Immortal, the Cirque Du Soleil touring show.

“They had great seats, sitting right beside the stage,” a source said. “They really seemed to enjoy the show. The performers didn’t know they were there and a few of them recognized them while they were on stage, so it was pretty exciting.”

After giving a standing ovation, Pitt, donning round glasses, Jolie, wearing a light grey dress, and the children left just as the cast gave final bows. The family spent the night at the lavish Four Seasons.

[From People]

What’s with Brad the glasses? I’ve seen him in reading glasses before, but it seems like in the past month or so, Brad has been wearing proper glasses full-time. Now, I like a man in glasses, but Brad makes it seem like he’s the “dorky-hot guy in high school that you don’t realize is going to be good-looking and then he takes off his glasses.” Or is that just with chicks? Whatever. Us Weekly’s source (inside the Cirque Du Soleil?) said that the “artists were pleasantly surprised by this unannounced visit.”

Anyway, happy 48th birthday to Brad – his official birthday was yesterday, and throughout last week, Brad received some early birthday presents in the form of major Best Actor nominations for Moneyball. He’s been nominated for a Golden Globe, a SAG, a Critics Choice, and I feel comfortable saying that he’s one the shoo-ins for an Oscar nomination. I’m very happy that this awards season will be full of Brangelina.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Pacific Coast News.

LeAnn Rimes celebrated her 29th birthday early last night at Red O restaurant in West Hollywood (her actual birthday is today). LeAnn and Eddie flew into LA a few days ago from Chicago so LeAnn could celebrate her birthday properly, I guess. Yesterday, they had a big beach party – in which LeAnn flaunted her bones in a red bikini (and two other bikini costume changes). Would you like to see those photos? They’re really, really gross. LeAnn’s implant/chest plate situation is really disgusting. Go here if you’d like to see. Anyway, back to these photos – I don’t see Eddie, so I guess last night LeAnn just went out with her gays – the dark-haired guy is her stylist (poor bastard).

According to LeAnn’s Twitter feed, her dress last night was Chloe, and the belt is YSL. I have to admit… I don’t hate this look on her. I think she looks pretty good, FOR HER. Her hair is a good length and the color looks good. The dress compliments her tan, the gold belt does not look gaudy. It’s a nice look for having a birthday dinner with your gays.

Can I just say something? I’m a Virgo and I hate that LeAnn is also a Virgo. It pisses me off to no end. There are some truly cray-cray celebrity Virgos out there, and I’ve only begun to realize it recently… LeAnn, Beyonce, Karl Lagerfeld, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Charlie Sheen. Of course, we’ve also got Alexander Skarsgard, Keanu Reeves, Fiona Apple and Sofia Loren. So… it’s a mixed sign. Some cool people mixed with a lot of crazy.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Halle Berry just celebrated her 45th birthday this weekend, and these are photos from her beach party celebration. Oddly enough, I haven’t caught sight of Olivier Martinez in any of these photos of Halle’s alleged “friends and family”. Perhaps she didn’t feel like bringing her hostage-boyfriend out to play. Or maybe he wasn’t around to celebrate Halle’s milestone birthday.

So, I’ll give Halle credit for looking amazing. I have never looked this great in a bikini at any age, and Halle gets a slow clap for taking care of herself and for looking more than a decade younger than 45, and for achieving it through (mostly) natural methods. Has Halle had some nips and tucks? I believe she had a nose job when she was much younger, but other than that, I buy that her face is Botox and filler-free, and I think her Crazy keeps her young.

Most of the people at Halle’s beach party seem to be women, but there are a handful of dudes there. Are they just Halle’s people, like her hairstylist and stuff, or are these people whose livelihoods don’t depend on Halle paying them? I don’t know.

Nahla is a cutie, isn’t she? I like when she gets a little attitude in photos – she has a funny, lovely little face, full of personality. I hope she gets more of her personality from her dad, don’t you?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Hulk Hogan celebrated his 58th birthday last night by taking his 20-something blonde girlfriend to see his 20-something blonde daughter’s nude photo exhibit. You think I’m joking. I’m not. Ordinarily, I’d rather eat death than write about Hulk Hogan or anyone vaguely related to Hulk Hogan, but this was simply too ridiculous to pass up. Brooke Hogan had posed for a photo series called, I kid you not, “Women In Cages”. It was sponsored by PETA, because… you know, animals are kept in cages, so how best illustrate that point than by getting Brooke to take off her clothes and pose inside a cage? For real. And her dad came out to see it, on his birthday! Because what father wouldn’t want that for his birthday?

And there’s all of the kissy-faces that Brooke always makes around her dad. Okay, surely someone is with me? This is gross, right? I’m not the most physical person, especially with my parents, so maybe that’s why this is so gross to me. But I cannot imagine being an adult woman and making kissy-faces at my father.

By the way, Hulk recently called into a BBC radio show, and he had some thoughts on the London riots:

“I just heard what’s going on in the streets, man, and I thought just maybe Hulkamania should run over there, start dropping legs, start hitting people with big boots and just stop the action. Let’s rethink, brother, rethink this whole thing and get these kids together and change their thinking in a positive direction and break the cycle of this craziness of where they were raised and where they’re at. Everyone’s got a story, which is ‘So what?’ but what now? That’s what needs to be done. Change the direction of the youth over there. Everybody wants the kids to get back on track. It doesn’t matter if Hulk Hogan’s over there, body-slamming all the youth like I did Andre the Giant. But at the end of the day we need to grab these kids, shake ‘em and say stop. Just regroup – look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘Is this what you want the mirror image of your life to be? Is this what you want your destiny to be?’ Now it’s time to change directions, even if the state has to step in and really focus on getting these kids back on track, brother, but you know what? I will do anything, because I love my UK Hulkamaniacs, brother.”

[From Digital Spy]

I can’t. I won’t even start.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I always forget that Maddox Jolie-Pitt has the same birthday as my mom. Maybe that’s something I should NOT try to remember, right? Anyway, Maddox’s birthday was Friday, and the little guy turned the big 10. I don’t remember my tenth birthday, but I’m sure it involved ice cream cake and…? Maddox’s birthday was fancier, of course. Madd got to go to a show in London! Angelina and Brad took Madd and the three other older kids to see a matinee of Wicked on London’s West End. These are photos of the clan as they leave the theatre. Brad has been filming around London for weeks now, and I guess they haven’t made the move to Scotland yet. Tell me this – is it weird that Maddox had to spend his birthday with his younger siblings? What if his birthday wish was “some alone time without being overrun by younger children”?

Maddox Jolie-Pitt and his famous family took a trip to the marvelous land of Oz for his tenth birthday. On Saturday, a day after Maddox turned 10, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt treated their eldest to a matinee performance of Wicked — the smash Broadway musical — on London’s West End.

Maddox was photographed with mom Jolie, 36, dad Pitt, 47, and sister Shiloh, 5, near the theater. Sister Zahara, 6, and brother Pax, 7, were also on hand for the theater event. Word of the superstar brood’s presence spread to the cast of the show.

“There was definitely a big excitement backstage! Everyone was on a high,” a Wicked castmember tells Us Weekly. And the Jolie-Pitts weren’t perched a in a VIP box, either — sitting in the orchestra, but surrounded by a few empty, reserved seats.

What did Maddox, Shiloh and the gang think of the show, about the earlier lives of witches of Oz (Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda, the Good Witch of the North)?

“They were very happy and quite quiet,” the castmate says. “The children seemed fascinated by the spectacle.” The group did not, however, visit backstage.

The family have been hanging out in England as Pitt shoots World War Z — and, despite Saturday’s fun outting, Jolie’s not having the best time ever.

“She’s not pleased being at home while he’s on set,” an insider told Us. “These are the longest hours he’s spent on a set in a while, so it’s just her and the kids with not much to do.”

[From Us Weekly]

Does anyone else find it amazing that the kids were so well-behaved? Those are four little kids, in the middle of a crowded theatre, seeing an exciting show. If they got over-excited, it would be perfectly understandable. But reportedly, they just enjoyed the show and they were good kids. Is it possible that they just really are good kids and not the wild hellions that the tabloids claim?

You can also see in the photos that Shiloh is clutching a stuffed, winged monkey doll from the show. How come Shiloh gets a doll on Maddox’s birthday? MOM!!! Also: Brad looks hot in blue. Angelina looks meh. I’d rather see her in black than nude, though.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

I think I’ve documented my love of Hermes Birkin bags before – I lamented when Sofia Vergara used her Birkin as her gym bag, and then I kind of got over my love Birkins when Kim Kardashian bought one in practically every color and then began to use them nonstop. And now I have another reason to dislike Birkins: Eric Johnson gave Jessica Simpson a Birkin for her 31st birthday yesterday. Can you believe Farty is 31?!? And can you believe how fug this Birkin is? ORANGE?!? Sure, it’s “Hermes Orange” (I think that’s an official color), but if you’re going to get a Birkin, why not blue? Black? White? NOT ORANGE. Is it that Eric just went into Hermes and grabbed the first one he saw?

But the Birkin made Farty happy. She tweeted, “It is only 1pm and i think i have pretty much heard from everyone in my life!! That is a birthday record!! Huge smile on my face! Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised in my life! Jackie O who? ”. Cute. At least she loves it, I suppose. By the way, a new Birkin goes for something like $15,000 (a used one goes for around $10,000). I wonder who really paid for this Birkin?!?

So happy birthday, Farty. May your cake be made of rich chocolate and may your tumbler never be without liquor. Happy 31st!

Photos courtesy of Fame & Jessica’s Twitter.

These are photos of Linnocent leaving her birthday party last night. Can you believe this bitch is only 25 years old? With any other set of Linnocent photos from the past few years, I would suggest that she looks about twenty years older than her actual birth date, but even a veteran crackhead-watcher like me has to admit that Linnocent didn’t look terrible for her birthday party. Cute little white dress, fresh tan, hair freshly bleached, crazy crack lips somewhat under control… not bad, Linnocent.

Linnocent celebrated her birthday in Malibu, at Geoffrey’s, with Ali, Michael Jr and “a few friends”. I don’t know if Mother Crackhead was there or not, and it would surprise me if Dina wasn’t. Isn’t this the kind of thing that Dina loves to enable? “Have these ten tequila shots, it’s your birthday! Go to the bathroom and do some birthday cocaine!”

According to Radar, Linnocent’s crack-hustled part in that Gotti movie is going to have to wait – the whole film production has been pushed back until next year. Poor crackhead! All of that hustling and lying and drinking and smoking, and she doesn’t have a job to start right away. Maybe she can use this time to fulfill her community service? She’s got hundreds of hours to complete, and something tells me that Linnocent’s is going to get tired of it in about a week.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

All credit for this story idea goes to US Weekly for showing us how Nicole has changed over the years. Her 44th birthday was yesterday. Happy Birthday Nicole! I sometimes skip over doing celebrity plastic surgery stories, because what seems obvious to me as a nose job, Botox or fillers can look like new makeup or a trick of the light to some people and I end up second guessing my judgment. With Nicole though, it’s really apparent that she’s had a nose job, lip implants or injections and lots of Botox, which she’s sort-of owned up to, saying she’s “tried” it but gave it up. It’s clear that she’s not as heavy-handed with the Botox as she once was, or that her doctors aren’t, and that she is trying to lighten up.

1989

When Nicole first hit the scene she was fresh-faced with natural curls, but she gradually morphed into a waxen version of herself. There were many years when it was hard to see her without noticing how glimmering and perfect she was, like she’d just been buffed to a high shine. Then she married Keith Urban, had a couple of babies and just seemed to soften and breathe for once. It was as if her tight as a drum skin had let out a sigh of relief. She’s still just a little too perfect, but lovely. She should have quit with the nose job though. Maybe what’s remarkable about Nicole’s face is that it hasn’t really changed since 1999, except for the little slug-like lip implant she has. I might be spying new cheeks too.

1999

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Kaiser thought this one was a wax figure of Nicole, but it’s really her.

2010

2011

Photo credit: WENN.com

George Clooney’s salt-and-pepper ass is 50 YEARS OLD today. Can you believe it? Can you believe that we haven’t read his “he died tragically during a herpes outbreak that came out of nowhere” obituary at some point? The Clooney: Survivor! So how did the man who has everything celebrate his pre-birthday last night? He went out to dinner… with his (still) girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis. And I seriously cannot believe that they’ve lasted so long!

Looking for birthday boy George Clooney? On Thursday night all you had to do was follow Kirstie Alley on Twitter – or have a reservation at Mr. Chow.

The actor – who turns 50 on Friday – had a early celebration and dinner at the Beverly Hills hotspot with girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis … and a ton of other celebrities.

Current Dancing with the Stars contestant Kirstie Alley and author Jackie Collins both caught Clooney in action – and live Tweeted his birthday dinner. Wrote Alley: “Jeez… I’m having dinner and I swear this is the most star studded restaurant I’ve ever been in!!… Impressive!!!”

Collins was equally impressed with her famous fellow diners. “Fun dinner at CHOWS. with Kathy Griffin. Spotted George Clooney & beautiful gf Elizabetta. Also Kirsti Alley looking major svelte,” she posted.

“Kirsti was with Kelly Preston, & wandering around were Ray Romano & Brad Garret. Quite a star studded night.”

Replied Alley: “u a bad ass Jackie… Great seeing u tonight.. Were we surrounded by beautiful men or what?? Mr. Chows it is every nite xxo.”

And Alley didn’t leave the restaurant empty-handed. “Happy birthday George Clooney,” she later Tweeted. “Great to see u.. Better to hug u.”

[From People]

So… everybody was at Mr. Chows, rollin’ with Xenu, and they caught sight of George with Elisabetta. I would love to see photos of Clooney and Kristie Alley hanging out. Just in general, I imagine the photos would be hysterical.

But seriously – Elisabetta certainly has this thing nailed down, doesn’t she? We’re coming up on two whole years together. Two years, and I’m still not convinced they’ve ever had a real conversation. Listen to her speak - while it could be “charming” for a few days, how do you put up with that voice for two years? Maybe because the voice comes with a great ass and an Adam’s apple? Just sayin’.

Happy birthday, George! Here’s one of my all-time favorite photos of him:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here at the facts at hand: 1) George Clooney will casually reference all of the “chicks” that he’s “f–cked” in a Newsweek interview about his humanitarian work. 2) Elisabetta Canalis, Clooney’s current girlfriend, has a penchant for public lap dances, plus she has no desire to be a mother. Seems like the ideal relationship… for Clooney. And considering Elisabetta’s most recent press clippings, I have to say that I have a new understanding of how Eli has lasted this long, and why she and Clooney just seem to work. But here’s the question: Is Elisabetta every going to be widely accepted as “The Girlfriend of”? Because that’s what she wants. In Touch Weekly reports that Eli is planning a huge 50th birthday party for Clooney, and she’s looking to invite all of George’s A-list friends. If Eli invites, will they come?

Don’t tell George Clooney, but his girlfriend, Elisabetta Canalis, is planning a huge surprise party to celebrate his 50th birthday on May 6.

According to a friend, Elisabetta has already started putting together the ultimate celebration, and the guest list will include Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and countless other celebs.

“Elisabetta has her own money, and she’s paying for the party of the century,” the friend says. “She really wants this to be the best night of George’s life.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Pity Eli doesn’t ask what George wants, because I’m guessing it’s not some huge celebration for his 50 years of life. He probably just wants a new flat-screen and some kinky sex (who doesn’t, really?). I just don’t see Eli sending out invitations to these A-listers… or even worse, personally calling them. But how much would you pay to listen to a phone conversation between Eli and Julia Roberts? So much money. So, so much.

Photos courtesy of WENN.