I wasn’t going to write about Victoria Beckham’s 39th birthday until I saw this Twitter photo. I think it was one year ago when Victoria Beckham tweeted another photo of her birthday celebration, and her birthday reward was… a fruit plate. So for this birthday, Victoria got an actual birthday cake and she tweeted the above photo of said cake. Note that we are not actually seeing her take an actual bite of a piece of cake. That’s because NO. That’s because Victoria’s birthday present to herself was looking at the cake. Not eating it. One must never eat the cake. Even looking at the cake adds too many calories!! If you think about calories, you will get fat, in Victoria’s mind. And in Victoria’s mind, fat = size 2.

Posh and her whole family celebrated her birthday in London with a nice dinner at Nobu earlier this week. All of the kids were spotted with her – half the family had just flown in from LA. Listen to how time flies: Posh’s oldest kid, Brooklyn, is 14 years old now. When did that happen? Romeo is 10, Cruz is 7 and Harper is one and a half I think. When Posh tweeted the header photo earlier today, she included the message: “Thank u for all your kind messages fashion bunnies, I had such a special birthday x v”. Is “fashion bunnies” the new thing and no one told me? I like it! You bitches are fashion bunnies.

Some photos of Posh and family earlier this week – Harper’s hair is getting so long!

Photos courtesy of WENN and Posh’s Twitter.

People Magazine has a new brief interview with Jennifer Aniston, in which she’s shilling that haircare line she co-owns, Living Proof. Aniston talks about her 44th birthday, which was Monday, as if it’s just another day in her life. Another day which she spends getting paid millions to show up on set and going over renovation plans for her new mansion during her off time. No biggie.

Jennifer Aniston turns 44 on Monday, but don’t expect her to break out the party hats.

“I’ll just be working. I know that I have a 5:30 am pick-up but that’s not bad,” the actress – who is currently on location for her next film, Untitled Elmore Leonard Project, in Connecticut – tells PEOPLE. “I’m lucky; I’m very happy to be working!”

“This birthday is going to come and go, which they all seem to be doing these days,” she adds. “Wasn’t it just my birthday? I have like windburn from this year.”

With the production set to last five weeks, Aniston has relocated to the east coast and continues to fulfill her duties as spokesperson/co-owner for Living Proof hair care.

For her role in the film, she opted to wear a shorter, light blonde wig instead of coloring her famed tresses. “It’s so nice to wear a wig. It’s like putting a hat on,” she says. “I’ve been using our conditioners on my hair underneath and it’s great to be able to watch your hair actually grow.”

The actress, who got engaged to screenwriter Justin Theroux last year, says her idea of a perfect birthday “would be a walk in the city, brunch somewhere, see a movie, have a great dinner.”

[From People]

People promises to have more of the interview in their upcoming issue, but I doubt there will be any groundbreaking quotes. I mean, going by what she usually says. I have to admit that I’m really interested in her wedding plans, though! I want to know if she has a date set and if she’s actively planning for it, or if she’s just kind of waiting to see what happens. Like maybe she’s waiting to see if a certain ex gets married and what his plans are. I’m not saying she’s going to try and pull focus or whatever, I just think she considers what those two are doing publicly when she makes her own plans, if only to ensure that her own wedding won’t be overshadowed. She’s going to want a People cover too if she ever goes through with it, and I guess I don’t blame her.

As for what she says about birthdays, I can totally relate. I’m hitting the big four oh (I don’t even want to type it) this year and I wish I could coast through that entire day without anyone acknowledging it. After about 35 I didn’t want to celebrate any more birthdays.

Here’s Aniston on set with her wig on 2-6-13. Credit: PacificCoastNews.com. She’s also shown with Justin on 11-15-12 and in Cabo San Lucas on 12-31-12. Credit: WENN.com and Fameflynet

Happy birthday to Duchess Kate – she turns 31 years old today. Many don’t even realize that she’s six months older than her husband, but it’s true – he doesn’t turn 31 until June 21 of this year. Just for fun, here’s a trip in the Way Back Machine – on this day in 2007, Kate was swarmed by paparazzi in London following widespread tabloid speculation that William was going to propose to her on her then 25th birthday. What people didn’t realize until a few weeks later was that William dumped Kate on or around her birthday. That was the big breakup where they spent months apart while William dated other, much more aristocratic girls, and Kate patiently waited him out, going out to parties with all of his friends and wearing revealing miniskirts and pushing sympathetic stories to the press. William came around eventually, although Kate had to wait another three and a half years until he proposed. And personally, I think William only proposed to her at that point because everyone (his family, the military, the press) threw a hissy fit over the prospect of Kate (as his girlfriend and nothing else) coming to live with him in Wales, which is what he wanted.

And that was your brief moment in the Way Back Machine. Because today’s Will & Kate industry thrives on royal propaganda about how normal these two are and how they’ve always been super-duper in love and William always knew that Kate was The One. So, how will Kate celebrate her birthday? Quietly. Normally. Privately.

Even with so much to celebrate, the Duchess of Cambridge is unlikely to be partying into the night or toasting her 31st birthday with glasses of bubbly.

Pregnant Kate, 31 on Wednesday, and entering her second trimester, is said to be keeping a low profile and spending her special day “privately,” according to her office.

Having spent the recent New Year’s holiday apart, Kate has since been reunited with husband William in time to spend the day with him.

Some reports suggest they are at their rented home in North Wales – a perfect secluded place for a quiet walk in the winter sunshine and fresh air with their cocker spaniel Lupo.

This time next year, she will have another family member to help her celebrate her special day.

Says royals author Judy Wade, “She has already taken the world by storm and now will cap it all by giving the Monarchy an heir, which is the culmination of their dreams.”

[From People]

Eh. I’m not going to slam her for having a low-key celebration at home in Wales with her husband. Maybe her parents came for a visit too. That’s the thing about birthdays beyond the age of 21 or 25 – after that point, you really don’t feel like celebrating that much. Especially if you’re pregnant and pukey.

To celebrate Kate’s birthday, The Mail has a lengthy piece with lots of photos, something about “The Year in Kate’s Style” or something – go here to see. Vogue UK also did a lengthy piece called “Katepedia” all about how Kate has developed her royal style and the gradual changes she’s made to update her wardrobe, etc. Lainey excerpted some of the story here – apparently, Vogue UK was very tongue-in-cheek and somewhat bitchy, which is hilarious.

Photos of Kate’s Year In Style, courtesy of WENN.

These are photos of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner at their daughter Seraphina’s fourth birthday party over the weekend. I love Seraphina’s tiered dress! Her party took place at a kid’s playplace called “Kidville” in Brentwood. Kidville’s website has details of their birthday packages and the cheapest one starts at $750, and that’s only for 10 kids! Yikes. My kid had his birthday last year at Chuck E Cheese and it was very pricey at nearly $300, but there were almost 20 kids there and that included everything. It’s safe to assume the Garner-Afflecks got the larger birthday package for $1050, which covers up to 20 kids. That’s chump change to these people. This reminds me of the $40k party that Taylor Armstrong threw for her daughter’s fourth birthday on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. In contrast, Seraphina’s birthday is very down-to-earth. These two could have hired a whole circus to entertain they daughter but they’re giving her an experience that is much more “normal.”

It looks like Seraphina had a very nice birthday party with her friends. Ben’s brother Casey was there with his sons, Indiana and Atticus. That’s nice that Ben’s kids can hang out with their cousins. I wonder if they get together often. This also reminds me that Matt Damon wasn’t there with his daughters. I’ve been seeing Matt all over the place promoting Promised Land and the upcoming Liberace bio pic so he may be out of town with his family.

Matt’s middle two daughters are six and a half and four and a half while Ben’s daughters are seven and now four. Ben and Matt live right down the street from each other and their kids are around the same age so it seems like they should be fast friends. Do you think their kids hang out? They’ve never really mentioned it. This makes me wonder if Luciana and Jennifer Garner are friendly with each other. I doubt they are, or else I think that Ben or Matt would have said something about it. Both of them have a tendency to blab and it seems like they would have let a detail like that slip.

Anyway happy birthday to Seraphina! The Garner-Affleck kids seem like some of the happiest kids in Hollywood. We certainly see enough photos of them.

Here’s what Jennifer Garner wore to her daughter’s birthday. Bizarre.

In contrast, here’s what Garner wore the previous day, to take her daughters to a play the Los Angeles Music Center. She looks so gorgeous here. Why did she frump it up for her daughters party?

Photo credit: FameFlynet and WENN.com

It’s LeAnn Rimes’ birthday. Today. Not yesterday. Not this past weekend. Not a week ago. Today. I’ll totally understand if you didn’t even realize that LeAnn’s birthday was today, because LeAnn has been tweeting about her 30th birthday for – NO JOKE – more than a month. We even covered some of her “early birthday celebrations” last week, in which LeAnn wore a bikini and drank tequila, which… happens pretty much every day in LeAnn’s life. Anyway, “somehow” LeAnn managed to get People Magazine to cover her 30th birthday party (one of many), and People wrote up a nice article and they even managed to get some exclusive video (which you can see here).

When LeAnn Rimes turns 30 on Tuesday, she won’t be missing her 20s one bit.

“Die, 20s, die!” was the theme of the country star’s birthday party, which she celebrated with 20 friends and family members at a private Laguna Beach, Calif., home on Aug. 18.

“I’ve been ready to leave my 20s behind,” she tells PEOPLE. “I had so many amazing things happen in my 20s, and I also had a lot of hard lessons to learn.”

“I really have been truly excited about turning 30. I’m ready to be stronger than ever. It’s a new chapter,” adds Rimes, who shared an exclusive video of her birthday bash with PEOPLE.

Rimes’s husband, Eddie Cibrian, was there to give his wife a kiss after she blew out the candles on a birthday cake, which was topped with a mini-version of Rimes in a bikini standing atop a coffin. “I’m stompin’ on my 20s, stompin’ ‘em out,” she says.

Rimes, who is gearing up for the upcoming release of her latest studio album, Spitfire and a fall tour, says she found the cake topper designed by a friend “hysterical.”

“It’s funny that people have this obsession with me in a bikini,” she explains. “I’m on the beach. What am I supposed to wear?”

“I grew up with chronic psoriasis my whole life and the last six years is the first time I’ve actually been super healthy: my skin is clear, I’m taking care of myself, and since I’m turning 30, between psoriasis and my [bottom] sagging, I only have a few more years to do it so I might as well wear one,” she says with a laugh.

Birthday Gifts
In addition to the sweet smooch, Cibrian, gave his wife another early birthday present: a rose gold and diamond Cartier “Love” bracelet.

“I’ve always wanted one. I cried so hard when he gave it to me,” says Rimes. “He’s always so thoughtful.”

Another memorable present? “A friend I’ve known since I was 15 had everyone make a little video about their favorite memory of me, and he put it all together. It made me cry for half a day,” says the birthday girl. “I have a beautiful life – I am lucky.”

[From People]

LOL. Just… LOL. There are so many details that made me giggle. Like, the exhaustive explanation of why she always wears bikinis – she’s on the beach! She can only wear bikinis for a few more years! She has skin problems! She’s just like us! Etc. But I love the part about her birthday present. I wonder how Eddie knew what she wanted for her birthday? Maybe he knew because she picked it out, bought it and told him to wrap it and give it to her for her birthday? Because seriously, can Eddie even afford to buy a Cartier bracelet? That being said, I can’t believe LeAnn hasn’t tweeted a photo of the bracelet yet. Remember when she tweeted a photo of her fug-as-hell “anniversary ring”? I miss LeAnn’s photos. Truly. She’s just launched a new members-only site in which members have to pay $12 for the privilege of seeing LeAnn’s exclusive photos and reading her mind-numbing thoughts. I was going to offer some kind of prize for anyone who wants to join the site and forward me all of LeAnn’s thoughts and photos, but really… I don’t think this will last very long. Her TMI will come back to Twitter soon enough.

Thirty years of smooth sailing on the S.S. Cray-Cray:

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Happy birthday to Jennifer Lopez! She turns 43 years old today. Does she look 43? I don’t think she does. I think she could easily pass for mid-30s. Of course, I also think she might have gotten some slight plastic surgery a few years ago, nothing too drastic, but noticeable if you look through photos of J.Lo throughout the past decade. Anyway, these are photos of Jennifer and Casper Smart out to dinner last night in NYC. I’m guessing it was Jennifer’s pre-birthday dinner, and she made Casper put on his big-boy clothes and take her out (although she paid). Can I just say? I’m pretty much in love with Jennifer’s outfit. Those leather pants are amazing and that blouse is really cool.

Yesterday, we discussed whether Casper would propose to Jennifer on her birthday. I’m seeing a lot of beautiful rings on Jennifer’s fingers, but nothing is screaming “engagement ring!” to me. Maybe he’ll propose tonight? I really do think she’s expecting it. An engagement would be right on schedule for her. It’s actually past due.

Here’s a teaser of J.Lo’s new music video, “Goin’ In”. OMG LOOK AT HER LIPS. Is this a new trend, bejeweled lips? Epic. The full music video will premiere tomorrow on MTV.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Happy birthday, Lindsay Lohan. The Cracken turns 26 years old today. Can you believe it? Can you believe she survived her 25th year? Her 24th? Her 23rd? Lindsay’s crack shenanigans make it feel like dog years, right? I can’t believe she’s ONLY 26. She looks 40-something. And she has the liver of a 60-year-old alcoholic, I can guarantee. So, how did Lindsay celebrate her Birthday Eve (because crackies celebrate things like “birthday’s eve”)? She went to a club with her “friends”. And she did NOT drink! If you believe that.

Party time for Lindsay Lohan! The Liz & Dick actress let loose during her birthday bash at West Hollywood nightclub Bootsy Bellows early Sunday. The party took place one day ahead of her 26th birthday, which she celebrates on Monday. A little after midnight, the actress, clad in a tight pink minidress, hit up the hotspot with a group of her close friends.

“She sat at her table close to the DJ,” a witness tells Us Weekly. “[Up-and-coming group] Speakerz was there and performed several songs for Lindsey. She was loving them and looked happy and carefree as she danced all around with her friends.”

Later, the star was presented with cake and Sprinkles Cupcakes, and the whole room broke out singing “Happy Birthday.”

“There was a ton of alcohol at Lindsey’s table, however she didn’t appear to be drinking,” the witness adds.

Perhaps it’s good that the headline-making actress is laying low, especially after her scary June 15 incident where she was treated for exhaustion.

[From Us Weekly]

Yes, I’m sure she just sipped from a water bottle all evening. In between trips to the bathroom to do some lines. Because it’s super-important that we all know that she wasn’t drinking!!!

So, what will “26” mean for Lindsay Lohan? Probably not much in the way of career achievements or anything. Probably a lot of the same old BS from her. Speaking of, remember that completely gross and inappropriate photo shoot Crackie did with Terry Richardson last week? Well, she pissed off a ton of people – especially some high-profile advocacy groups, like Hopeline (suicide prevention) and The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence both issued statements about Lindsay being so dumb and crackie – you can read them here.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Terry’s Diary.

Does anyone else find it funny that Duchess Kate comes from a family who made their fortune from party-planning, party-organizing and party-accessorizing and now that Kate has gotten the ring and she’s a member of the royal family, she can’t be bothered to actually plan a big party for her husband? Prince William turns 30 years old today – a major milestone in anyone’s life. Considering he’s royal (generally speaking, the royals love a party) AND he will be king one day (meaning he‘s a MAJOR royal), I was expecting a major blowout for his birthday. Not so much, according to Us Weekly. Kate is only planning a “small dinner party” for him.

The Duchess will be the hostess with mostest on Thursday evening — throwing an intimate dinner bash in honor of hubby Prince William’s 30th birthday.

“Kate [Middleton] had been planning a small dinner party with their friends and some family,” a source tells Us Weekly of the low-key soiree, to be held at Prince Charles’ countryside house.

Despite the major milestone — and his $15.5 million windfall from late mother Princess Diana’s estate — the Duke of Cambridge hasn’t been idle this week. “William is working as usual during his birthday week,” adds a palace aide, explaining that William has been training at the Royal Air Force base in Gloucestershire. “Tonight he will have a private celebration with family and friends.” (The dinner bash was originally going to take place at the couple’s Anglesey, Wales home, but William’s last-minute training assignment moved the festivities to Highgrove, located near Gloucestershire.)

The super-casual party doesn’t surprise those closest to William and Kate, also 30. When the Royal Air Force Search and Rescue pilot comes home from work, he likes to make “sweet gestures” for his wife of one year, another source says. He’ll typically pick up a treat for Kate en route to their home in Anglesy, Wales — or even have flowers delivered.

In turn, “Kate will cook his favorite dinners after he gets home from work . . . or she’ll order movies on Amazon for them to watch on the couch.”

[From Us Weekly]

How… boring. I mean, I get it. He’s turning 30 years old, he’s married and he’s got a job. I’m not saying the party should involve binge-drinking and strippers. But can a duchess get some fireworks and a champagne toast with 50 of William’s closest friends?

To say nothing of “What do you get for the man who will be king?” Seriously, it seems like William would be a really difficult person to buy for. A watch, maybe? A handmade coupon book full of hugs-on-demand? Leather pants? Kate will probably get him a DVD.

Here are some photos of Kate over the weekend doing that “camping trip” so city kids can be exposed to the outdoors. Her hair looks really pretty here, but I do wonder how much time she spent on it considering it was just a camping trip, you know?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As you know, Angelina Jolie turned 37 years old on Monday. I heard some rumors about Angelina possibly traveling for her birthday, something about Egypt maybe? It could be true. It’s possible. But I thought Angelina was hunkered down in England, waiting to start Maleficent any day now. That’s what Us Weekly claims too – they say Angelina spent her special day at the family’s rented mansion in Surrey, and she celebrated with her family:

Angelina Jolie’s 37th birthday bash was anything but a blowout. The understated and intimate affair took place on June 4 at the Jolie-Pitt family’s rented mansion in Surrey, England, a source confirms to Us Weekly exclusively. (The stars are shelling out $24,000 a month to rent the posh Wentworth Estate.)

“It was a very small bash — just the family at home. They didn’t go out or do anything,” according to the source. “Just a simple one at home with a cake. No frills, but they’re all really happy at the moment. Everyone’s doing good.”

No word yet on what Brad Pitt bought his bride-to-be for her special day — but hopefully it’s something extravagant, as Jolie purchased a waterfall for the Moneyball star’s 48th birthday and Christmas presents in December 2011.

Jolie is currently in England prepping for her role in Disney’s Maleficent, based on the villain from Sleeping Beauty. Pitt, meanwhile, will return to Budapest around June 20 to begin two weeks of reshoots for World War Z. While Pitt is away filming, an insider tells Us, “the kids will stay back in the UK with Angelina.”

Given their busy filming schedules, it’s also unlikely that Pitt and Jolie will tie the knot by year’s end. “We actually, really and truly, have no date,” Pitt — father to Maddox, 10, Pax 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, 5, and twins Vivienne and Knox, 3 — revealed at the Cannes Film Festival in May. “We’re still hoping that we can figure out marriage equality in the states before [we exchange vows].”

[From Us Weekly]

I told you The Leg would have some cake. I hope the kids made her eat a piece. I wonder what kind of cake it was? I don’t see Angelina going for the supermarket cakes with icing that comes out of vats. Perhaps a nice pound cake? And what did Brad give her for her birthday? More jewelry?

In other Brangelina news, The Enquirer reports this week that Angelina has ordered a “truce” with George Clooney – apparently, she’s really worried that if George comes to her wedding, that he’ll play some kind of practical joke. Allegedly, she’s already called George to warn him, and Brad followed up with another “She’s serious, dog” call too. What kind of a–hole would prank a couple on their wedding?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Brad Pitt got to celebrate his 48th birthday with his family this weekend, in Las Vegas. That’s a thing for him, isn’t it? I feel like Brad and Angelina go to Vegas for his birthday often. One year, wasn’t it a boxing match? Anyway, for this year’s festivities, Brad didn’t get a date night with his girl, he got family-friendly entertainment by way of the Cirque Du Soleil. Yes, Brad, Angelina and the kids all went to see Michael Jackson The Immortal. We don’t have the blurry photos of the Jolie-Pitts in Vegas – you can see them here.

Brad Pitt’s birthday weekend was quite a “thriller”!

The Moneyball star, who turns 48 on Sunday, was joined by longtime love Angelina Jolie and their six children in Las Vegas Saturday night to experience the Michael Jackson The Immortal, the Cirque Du Soleil touring show.

“They had great seats, sitting right beside the stage,” a source said. “They really seemed to enjoy the show. The performers didn’t know they were there and a few of them recognized them while they were on stage, so it was pretty exciting.”

After giving a standing ovation, Pitt, donning round glasses, Jolie, wearing a light grey dress, and the children left just as the cast gave final bows. The family spent the night at the lavish Four Seasons.

[From People]

What’s with Brad the glasses? I’ve seen him in reading glasses before, but it seems like in the past month or so, Brad has been wearing proper glasses full-time. Now, I like a man in glasses, but Brad makes it seem like he’s the “dorky-hot guy in high school that you don’t realize is going to be good-looking and then he takes off his glasses.” Or is that just with chicks? Whatever. Us Weekly’s source (inside the Cirque Du Soleil?) said that the “artists were pleasantly surprised by this unannounced visit.”

Anyway, happy 48th birthday to Brad – his official birthday was yesterday, and throughout last week, Brad received some early birthday presents in the form of major Best Actor nominations for Moneyball. He’s been nominated for a Golden Globe, a SAG, a Critics Choice, and I feel comfortable saying that he’s one the shoo-ins for an Oscar nomination. I’m very happy that this awards season will be full of Brangelina.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Pacific Coast News.