I have no idea how she’s done it, but Lindsay Lohan has somehow defied the odds and is now aged a fine 22 years. She’s also managed to go an entire year without any new arrests, car crashes, or rehabs. Though to be fair she was in rehab on her 21st birthday last year, and for a couple months afterwards as well. But she hasn’t been admitted into rehab again in a whole year. This is big. Huge.

She’s been working on her next film, Labor Pains, and has actually been complimented for her good work ethic. Supposedly she shows up on time, knows her lines, and generally gets along with everyone. It’s not like she’s made as dramatic a change as Britney Spears – though you could argue that’s because her life didn’t fall apart to quite the same extent.

But either way, she seems to have spent the last couple months getting her act together a bit more – and many attribute that to the positive influence of her never-officially-acknowledged girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

LiLo definitely has reason to celebrate this year – and apparently plans on doing it right.

Lindsay Lohan’s 22nd birthday throw down is toned down from what it was supposed to be — ‘memba this? — but that doesn’t mean it won’t be a wild affair.

We’re told her full sister Ali and loony mom Dina are flying in for the private party. It’s being held tonight at Teddy’s inside the Roosevelt Hotel — where LiLo has several suites lined up. There won’t be a sponsor, but word is it will be a celeb-infested soiree. Sam Ronson won’t be working the gig — the two pals wanna be able to spend some precious time together.

And don’t think about crashing the celebration — sources tell us that security is so tight, everyone entering the party must be cleared by La Lohan herself.

[From TMZ]

I’m not going to go all out and actually say that Lindsay is all better now. But she’s definitely less messed up than she used to be. Baby steps. That’s all we can ask for. It seems like seeing less of her parents and more of Samantha has brought a bit of much-needed stability into her life. Let’s hope the next year is even saner.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan learning her lines on the set of “Labor Pains” in North Hollywood yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Michael Jackson briefly came out of the woodwork this weekend to celebrate friend Christian Audigier’s 50th birthday in Los Angeles. The party was attended by some major showbiz heavyweights, including Britney Spears. That’s right, Britney and Michael were in the same room, and the universe did NOT implode. That’s a lot of potential crazy within 100 yards, easily enough to knock the earth off its axis.

Despite the potential hazards to humanity, the party went off without a hitch, with celebrities like Fergie, Pam Anderson, and Snoop Dogg also in attendance. However everyone was disappointed in the King of Pop, who failed to perform at the event – choosing to mutter a few words into a microphone and then exit hastily.

The crowd went wild as Michael Jackson strode purposefully on stage and picked up a microphone. Was this the moment he was going to break into song and end his years of silence? Er, no. The fallen star just muttered a few words… then slunk back into his self-imposed obscurity.

The huge anti-climax came at an exclusive showbiz party in Los Angeles to mark fashion designer Christian Audigier’s 50th birthday. A-list guests - including Britney Spears and Pamela Anderson - went into a frenzy as Audigier introduced the “King of Pop”. But all they got as Jacko, 49, stepped onto the platform was a whispered, “Hello”. He added politely: “Christian is the King of Fashion” before turning on his heels and trouping off.

An insider said: “Everyone went mad when he grabbed the microphone. The mood was electric. But sadly there was no impromptu gig. It was a shame because he looked in pretty good shape. He was obviously just putting in an appearance for his old pal Christian.”

[From the Mirror]

The Daily Mail notes that Britney was at the party, escorted by her father Jaime Spears and agent Jason Trawick. Fergie performed and Pamela Anderson gave a speech… which I’m guessing was super inspiring. But she did manage to flash the crowd – and nothing inspires like Pam Anderson’s ladybits. I didn’t realize that Britney’s dad was monitoring her so closely that he was actually her date to events. Hopefully he doesn’t go all Joe Simpson on her.

Michael Jackson disappointing isn’t really anything exciting, in and of itself. He’s not exactly the sort to surprise everyone and whip out a performance. Though apparently he did whip off his face mask for a while – and really, that’s about all we can hope for from the guy.

Here’s Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush, Christian Audigier and family, Fergie, Alessandra Ambrosio, Pamela Anderson at Audigier’s birthday party at the Petersen Automotive museum in Los Angeles on Friday. Images thanks to WENN.

Rageaholic model Naomi Campbell got some major drama dished her way on her 38th birthday on Wednesday. The former “it” girl spent the day with friends in Cannes. Sounds like a nice birthday, no? Well late that night – sometime around three in the morning – Campbell and company joined a party on P Diddy’s yacht. And that’s where are the trouble started.

Turns out Diddy and Naomi have a long history of drama. In fact it seems that it’s more him than her, surprising as it may be. So chilling with a guy that doesn’t like you probably wasn’t the best way to end an evening for Naomi.

Naomi Campbell was reduced to tears on her birthday last night - recalling quite vividly the Lesley Gore hit song It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To. Naomi celebrated her 38th birthday with friends in Cannes, and then moved on to a VIP party aboard music mogul P Diddy’s yacht.

She was all smiles as she arrived in a glamorous lace frock but, around 3am this morning, she was spotted looking clearly upset.

The reason for her meltdown remains unclear, but Naomi and Diddy do have a history of confrontation.

According to reports last year — at Jermaine Dupri’s Grammy afterparty in LA — Diddy shouted at Naomi in the middle of the party, leaving her shocked and upset.

[From the Daily Mail]

TMZ says that Naomi didn’t just leave Diddy’s boat – he threw her off. Which, when you’re talking about a boat, sounds much more dramatic than getting thrown out of a club. Unfortunately he didn’t make her walk the blank or actually dump her ass of the side of the boat. Bummer.

Naomi garnered a lot of negative press for bringing convicted con man Christophe Rocancourt as her date to the Cannes premiere of Che. He conned several A and B-list Hollywood celebs, so perhaps that had something to do with the Diddy/Campbell blowup.

Here’s Naomi with Christophe Rocancourt on May 21st in Cannes. Diddy is shown at amfAR’s annual Cinema Against AIDS gala in Cannes on May 22nd. Images thanks to WENN.

Lindsay Lohan is turning 22 on July 2nd, and it seems she hasn’t got enough cash to throw a party. So, she’s asking for some sponsorship for the drugs and booze she’s planning on indulging in. Lindsay’s people have set up a website detailing just what the birthday girl has planned. They’re calling it ‘Lindsay Lohan’s Mo-Rockin’ 22nd Birthday’.

“Sponsors will have a unique branding opportunity to an internationally media worthy event. Lindsay and her 10 closes girlfriends will start the celebration in the early afternoon with spa treatments including manicures, facials and massages.

“Upon nightfall an intimate group of 75 VIP guests will gather for dinner, performances and most importantly to help Lindsay blow out the candles on her 22nd Birthday cake.”

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If you do sponsor Lindsay’s 22nd, you’ll get logos on the invite and signage at the venue (a private Malibu mansion). You’ll also get inclusion in the gift bags, inclusion in the media materials, and your product will be placed in a ‘hospitality suite’.

The site also has a link to coverage of Lindsay’s 20th birthday party in Life & Style Magazine. They don’t provide links to pictures of Lindsay stumbling out of clubs, or her mug shot.

I don’t understand why Lindsay Lohan, who has been treated at three different rehab facilities this year, would ask for sponsorship of a party. Particularly when she blew off her 21st birthday party in favor of some time at Promises Rehab facility. If she winds up in rehab again, will the sponsors get their money back? Can’t she do what regular people do - and quite a few celebrities - and just throw her own private party, and pay for it herself?

Lindsay’s movie career is not exactly flourishing (she has one movie this year lined up, and one for 2009) maybe she should just try and lay low for a while, and concentrate on her acting. Otherwise she’s going to wind up begging her mum for some screen time on her reality series.

According to TMZ no alcohol brands will be sponsoring the event. This doesn’t mean that alcohol won’t be served.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Lohan is shown out shopping with her girlfriend on 5/16/08 and shopping in Beverly Hills on 5/15/08, thanks to WENN. Those boots!

Jamie Lynn Spears spent her 17th birthday partying it up in a manner more fitting big sister Britney: shopping at Walmart and going to dinner at Ruby Tuesday. Apparently the Spears family does little to combat the stereotypes of the south (what with Britney’s old “I can drive with my kid on my lap, I’m country, that’s what we do). Jaime Lynn’s trying to keep it simple, and you can’t really fault her for that. She spent the afternoon shopping at her local Walmart with baby daddy Casey Aldridge, then the pair hit up Ruby Tuesdays for a romantic dinner. While I’ve never actually set foot inside a Ruby Tuesdays, from glancing in the window I can tell you with some confidence that a plastic carnation in a grocery store vase does not equal a romantic setting. But if you want a mediocre steak at a good price, it’s the place to be.

While most young women turn their 17th birthday into a bawdy bash to remember, OK! can report that America’s most famous pregnant teen, Jamie Lynn Spears, who rang in her last year as a minor on Friday, chose to spend that special day relaxing with fiancé and father of her baby, Casey Aldridge.

Jamie Lynn and Casey spent most Friday relaxing in his hometown of Gloster, Miss., a short drive from the Spears family home in Kentwood, La. Sources tell OK! the lovebirds stayed indoors for most of the big day, emerging later that evening only to make a quick shopping trip to a Wal-Mart supercenter in McComb, where they spent about an hour inside the store. And for a few minutes, the small-town charm of McComb, with its population of 13,500, suddenly began to resemble Hollywood, as local police were called in to keep back photographers and fans. “Jamie Lynn looked super happy and kept smiling inside the Wal-Mart,” one shopper tells OK!.

[From OK!]

Everyone’s making jokes about how Jaime Lynn isn’t with Casey for his money after that meal. But I could kinda joke that he’s not with her for her money either: OK reports that Jaime Lynn went shopping for Casey and bought him several pairs of sneakers at Hibbits Sporting Goods Store – each one retailing for $7.98. No one seems to know what Jamie Lynn got for her birthday from the father of her child, but I’m guessing it was an extra large milkshake.

Here’s Jamie Lynn on her way to Ruby Tuesdays yesterday. Images thanks to Splash.

Perez Hilton, the swishy, often blue-haired gossip blogger who has as many enemies as he does fans, threw himself a bash for his 30th birthday. Dubbed his “Quinceañera (Part 2),” the party included performances by the Pussycat Dolls and was attended by celebs such as Marc Jacobs, Amanda Bynes and Jerry O’Connell, as well as a gaggle of has-beens and annoying reality show stars. My guess is, either they wanted Perez to mention them on his blog, or they want to make sure he says something nice about them and not draw rude lines on their photos. Perez, ever the shameless self promoter, detailed the party this morning– using the royal “We,” of course– on his blog.

We had asked Pussycat Dolls founder and creative director Robin Antin to put together a special “Perez Dolls” for our big 30th birthday bash.

She had an audition at the Millennium Complex, Britney’s fave, and hundreds of dancers showed up. That’s what we were expecting.

Perez got the surprise of his life when The Pussycat Dolls appeared on stage at our party this past weekend.

He had NO idea!

And, he was especially shocked that lead Doll Nicole Scherzinger agreed to do it, and, we’re told, she was very excited about.

“I have been lucky enough to be featured on PerezHilton.com on several occasions,” said Nicole. “When you’ve reached my stature, perhaps you too can have cum dripping out of your mouth,” she joked.

LOVED it!

[From Perez Hilton.com]

I love how that item was written to make us think that Perez himself wasn’t writing it. The party was sponsored by a variety of advertisers, including, hilariously enough, Burger King and KY lubricant. Perez, dressed all in white and looking more like a deranged ice cream man than a celeb, posed with The King, that creepy mascot from Burger King commercials. Supposedly, Perez has been on a diet with the goal of looking svelte and fierce for his birthday. Mission not accomplished.

Note by Celebitchy: If I made 1/10th or what Perez does in a year I would be elated. The guy seems like a douche of the highest degree, but he also works super hard and does break some exclusives despite his willingness to take credit for a lot of other people’s work. It’s not easy being a gossip blogger, and Perez does deserve some kudos for putting his fat face out there. Although he could be called a fame whore for it too.

I would also like to say that Jerry O’Connell is teh sex.

Shown at Perez Hilton’s birthday party are Jerry O’Connell, Marc Jacobs and Austin A, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, Amanda Bynes, Dannii Minogue, Nick Cannon, Khloe Kardashian, Harvey Levin of TMZ, Candis Cayne, and DJ AM. Thanks to PRPhotos.

David and Victoria Beckham’s son Brooklyn turned nine yesterday, and celebrated in grand style. His dad was away with his soccer team the L.A. Galaxy, but Posh Spice managed to do a pretty good job wrangling 25 kids and their parents. The whole event sounded fun but not ridiculously over the top, a la Dannielynn Birkhead’s rediculously lavish first birthday that even featured a giant hot air balloon shaped like a birthday cake. Brooklyn’s birthday took place at the Century City mall and started with dinner at Pink Taco. Though there were certainly some celebrities in attendance, the whole thing sounds pretty normal – at least for something put together by Posh.

David and Victoria Beckham’s oldest son celebrated his big day Tuesday at Century City Mall’s Pink Taco restaurant with his mom, brothers and 25 friends – not to mention Heidi Klum and Eva Longoria Parker. And apparently little brother Cruz, 3 (who attended the party in a Batman costume), isn’t the only Beckham with an interest in break dancing. After catching a movie at the mall, Brooklyn and his pals were entertained by a team of dancers busting hip-hop moves.

As his crew – including brothers Cruz and Romeo, 5 – gathered around, Brooklyn blew out the candles on a Cold Stone Creamery ice-cream cake (decorated to match the break-dancing theme), while his mom snapped photos on her digital camera.

[From People]

What, no 25 foot tall inflatable break dancer? Are celebs even ALLOWED to do that? With the exception of the team of dancers, everything else sounds like a pretty normal birthday party. I would think in Posh-land, it was downright sedate. People notes that Heidi Klum’s 3-year-old daughter Leni pooped out first around 8 p.m. and the entire event wrapped up by 8:30. Though dad David Beckham couldn’t be there for the big event, Us Weekly noted that some fans rolled out a “Happy Birthday Brooklyn” banner at the Galaxy’s game in Shanghi. Not a bad way to turn nine.

Note by Celebitchy: Little Cruz Beckham, three, wore a Batman costume to the festivities.

composite image made from Splash News and image from NYMag.com
Suri Cruise allegedly turns 2 years old on April 18, and sources say the party is going to rival anything you’ve seen on MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16.” The entertainment for the toddler’s party won’t be a clown or a pony– instead, it’s going to be a Grammy-winning producer and DJ, Mark Ronson, whose latest claim to fame was producing Amy Winehouse’s album, “Back to Black.”

Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes have asked top British music producer Mark Ronson to DJ at their daughter, Suri’s second birthday party.

Suri turns two on April 18 — and the Hollywood couple are planning a huge bash to mark the occasion.

They reckon Grammy and BRIT Award winner Mark — who has worked with the likes of Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen and Robbie Williams — is just the man to spin some tunes.

32-year-old Mark — who made his name as a DJ on the New York club scene in 1993 — was the official DJ when Tom, 45, married Katie, 29, in Bracciano, Italy, on November 18, 2006 and impressed the groom with a re-worked version of the Top Gun theme.

[From Showbizspy]

Last year, when Suri allegedly turned one, the Cruises had a simple party in comparison - close friends and family ate cupcakes and pizza in a backyard party on the Cruise compound, which was decorated with dragonfly pinatas. It looks like this year, Suri decided to step it up a notch. After all, she’s been alive for millions of years and already knows everything she needs to know.

Seriously, though, what does she care who the DJ is, as long as he plays The Wiggles?

I hope my 8-year-old daughter doesn’t catch wind of this. She announced last week that she wants Beyonce to sing at her birthday party in November. I don’t have those kind of connections!

Oh my God, oh m God, oh my God. Do you remember that day in third grade when that loser girl came to class dressed up in what she thought was her new awesome outfit but was in fact the ugliest, tackiest thing you’d ever seen? And you couldn’t wait for recess so you and your friends could make fun of her behind her back? Okay I wasn’t actually the kid making fun, I was more likely the kid in the awesome hot pink spandex that everyone else was making fun of. But I am waaaaaaaay cooler now, so oh my God, oh my God, oh my God look at what Paris Hilton is wearing!

Paris was out and about celebrating her upcoming 27th birthday party at Area nightclub on Friday night in what can only be described as a concussion-induced fashion choice. I know no one wants to get older, and 27 means you’re a real adult, which is incredibly scary. You can knock off a year or two when you lie about your age, but no way can you knock off 20 years, like Paris seems to be attempting here.

Wearing a tiara, patterned multi-coloured tights and a mint green strapless mini-dress, the starlet, who turns 27 on February 17, was barely recognisable when she arrived at an LA club last night.

And the bizarre get-up didn’t stop there. Paris even had hot-pink hair extensions to match her sparkly pink bag and shoes.

After receiving presents and cards the celebutante danced the night away in the garb which in no resembles her usual sleek style of dress.

[From the Daily Mail]

She looks exactly like my Princess Sparkle My Little Pony. In fact that’d be a big step up for Paris, because Princess Sparkle had this really uncomfortable looking plastic bed with hard plastic sheets. It did a good job of keeping Princess Sparkle’s pants on… might do the same thing for Paris Hilton. And that’d be a birthday present for us all. Paris was able to pull her outfit together with some stunning, glitter-encrusted stilettos. You know what’s never a good idea? Drawing attention to your feet when they’re a size 13. Nothing draws the eye downward like glitter shoes. Or looking at Paris Hilton’s face.

Pictures thanks to WENN.

I have been consistently impressed by the relationship between Demi Moore, new husband Ashton Kutcher and ex-husband Bruce Willis. Though you hear a lot of unpleasant things about Moore, you can’t argue that she’s been pretty mature about her divorce and friendship with Bruce. Some people have said they just do it for the kids, like that’s a bad thing. How in the world could it be a negative to keep up a friendly relationship with your kids’ other parent? Bruce and Demi are occasionally spotted out having lunch together, so it seems like they are genuinely cool with each other.

This weekend Demi had a birthday party for Ashton’s 29th, and keeping to form, the whole family was invited - Bruce included.

Ashton Kutcher’s 29th birthday party was nothing if not unconventional.

The Punk’d star rang in the occasion with his wife 45-year-old wife Demi Moore - and her ex husband Bruce Willis.

The unlikely trio dined at a LA restaurant on Saturday, along with Demi and Bruce’s children Rumer, 19, Scout, 16, and 13-year-old Tallulah Belle.

Far from being uncomfortable, Ashton and Bruce, 52, appeared to revel in each other’s company and even indulged in a moment of playful wrestling.

[From the Daily Mail]

Demi recently commented on the transition the entire family went through when she and Ashton got married. She was incredibly generous in her descriptions of what everyone went through. “It wasn’t a piece of cake. It wasn’t automatic or easy. It took diligence and effort and even enduring awkwardness, and a lot of general giving on my part and Bruce’s part. And really, tremendously, on Ashton’s part.” Though their family unit is certainly unconventional, can you imagine how much better a lot of divorced kids would feel if their parents had been that cool with each other? Though Bruce and Demi’s daughter Rumer gets a lot of crap for her appearance, you generally don’t hear about their daughters much in the media. And frankly if any celebuspawn of parents that famous were misbehaving, you know the paparazzi would be all over it. It shows that being decent to each other can only do good.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s the family (minus Scout LaRue) at the Live Free or Die Hard premiere. Images thanks to PR Photos.