Perez Hilton, the swishy, often blue-haired gossip blogger who has as many enemies as he does fans, threw himself a bash for his 30th birthday. Dubbed his “Quinceañera (Part 2),” the party included performances by the Pussycat Dolls and was attended by celebs such as Marc Jacobs, Amanda Bynes and Jerry O’Connell, as well as a gaggle of has-beens and annoying reality show stars. My guess is, either they wanted Perez to mention them on his blog, or they want to make sure he says something nice about them and not draw rude lines on their photos. Perez, ever the shameless self promoter, detailed the party this morning– using the royal “We,” of course– on his blog.

We had asked Pussycat Dolls founder and creative director Robin Antin to put together a special “Perez Dolls” for our big 30th birthday bash.

She had an audition at the Millennium Complex, Britney’s fave, and hundreds of dancers showed up. That’s what we were expecting.

Perez got the surprise of his life when The Pussycat Dolls appeared on stage at our party this past weekend.

He had NO idea!

And, he was especially shocked that lead Doll Nicole Scherzinger agreed to do it, and, we’re told, she was very excited about.

“I have been lucky enough to be featured on PerezHilton.com on several occasions,” said Nicole. “When you’ve reached my stature, perhaps you too can have cum dripping out of your mouth,” she joked.

LOVED it!

[From Perez Hilton.com]

I love how that item was written to make us think that Perez himself wasn’t writing it. The party was sponsored by a variety of advertisers, including, hilariously enough, Burger King and KY lubricant. Perez, dressed all in white and looking more like a deranged ice cream man than a celeb, posed with The King, that creepy mascot from Burger King commercials. Supposedly, Perez has been on a diet with the goal of looking svelte and fierce for his birthday. Mission not accomplished.

Note by Celebitchy: If I made 1/10th or what Perez does in a year I would be elated. The guy seems like a douche of the highest degree, but he also works super hard and does break some exclusives despite his willingness to take credit for a lot of other people’s work. It’s not easy being a gossip blogger, and Perez does deserve some kudos for putting his fat face out there. Although he could be called a fame whore for it too.

I would also like to say that Jerry O’Connell is teh sex.

Shown at Perez Hilton’s birthday party are Jerry O’Connell, Marc Jacobs and Austin A, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, Amanda Bynes, Dannii Minogue, Nick Cannon, Khloe Kardashian, Harvey Levin of TMZ, Candis Cayne, and DJ AM. Thanks to PRPhotos.

David and Victoria Beckham’s son Brooklyn turned nine yesterday, and celebrated in grand style. His dad was away with his soccer team the L.A. Galaxy, but Posh Spice managed to do a pretty good job wrangling 25 kids and their parents. The whole event sounded fun but not ridiculously over the top, a la Dannielynn Birkhead’s rediculously lavish first birthday that even featured a giant hot air balloon shaped like a birthday cake. Brooklyn’s birthday took place at the Century City mall and started with dinner at Pink Taco. Though there were certainly some celebrities in attendance, the whole thing sounds pretty normal – at least for something put together by Posh.

David and Victoria Beckham’s oldest son celebrated his big day Tuesday at Century City Mall’s Pink Taco restaurant with his mom, brothers and 25 friends – not to mention Heidi Klum and Eva Longoria Parker. And apparently little brother Cruz, 3 (who attended the party in a Batman costume), isn’t the only Beckham with an interest in break dancing. After catching a movie at the mall, Brooklyn and his pals were entertained by a team of dancers busting hip-hop moves.

As his crew – including brothers Cruz and Romeo, 5 – gathered around, Brooklyn blew out the candles on a Cold Stone Creamery ice-cream cake (decorated to match the break-dancing theme), while his mom snapped photos on her digital camera.

[From People]

What, no 25 foot tall inflatable break dancer? Are celebs even ALLOWED to do that? With the exception of the team of dancers, everything else sounds like a pretty normal birthday party. I would think in Posh-land, it was downright sedate. People notes that Heidi Klum’s 3-year-old daughter Leni pooped out first around 8 p.m. and the entire event wrapped up by 8:30. Though dad David Beckham couldn’t be there for the big event, Us Weekly noted that some fans rolled out a “Happy Birthday Brooklyn” banner at the Galaxy’s game in Shanghi. Not a bad way to turn nine.

Note by Celebitchy: Little Cruz Beckham, three, wore a Batman costume to the festivities.

composite image made from Splash News and image from NYMag.com
Suri Cruise allegedly turns 2 years old on April 18, and sources say the party is going to rival anything you’ve seen on MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16.” The entertainment for the toddler’s party won’t be a clown or a pony– instead, it’s going to be a Grammy-winning producer and DJ, Mark Ronson, whose latest claim to fame was producing Amy Winehouse’s album, “Back to Black.”

Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes have asked top British music producer Mark Ronson to DJ at their daughter, Suri’s second birthday party.

Suri turns two on April 18 — and the Hollywood couple are planning a huge bash to mark the occasion.

They reckon Grammy and BRIT Award winner Mark — who has worked with the likes of Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen and Robbie Williams — is just the man to spin some tunes.

32-year-old Mark — who made his name as a DJ on the New York club scene in 1993 — was the official DJ when Tom, 45, married Katie, 29, in Bracciano, Italy, on November 18, 2006 and impressed the groom with a re-worked version of the Top Gun theme.

[From Showbizspy]

Last year, when Suri allegedly turned one, the Cruises had a simple party in comparison - close friends and family ate cupcakes and pizza in a backyard party on the Cruise compound, which was decorated with dragonfly pinatas. It looks like this year, Suri decided to step it up a notch. After all, she’s been alive for millions of years and already knows everything she needs to know.

Seriously, though, what does she care who the DJ is, as long as he plays The Wiggles?

I hope my 8-year-old daughter doesn’t catch wind of this. She announced last week that she wants Beyonce to sing at her birthday party in November. I don’t have those kind of connections!

Oh my God, oh m God, oh my God. Do you remember that day in third grade when that loser girl came to class dressed up in what she thought was her new awesome outfit but was in fact the ugliest, tackiest thing you’d ever seen? And you couldn’t wait for recess so you and your friends could make fun of her behind her back? Okay I wasn’t actually the kid making fun, I was more likely the kid in the awesome hot pink spandex that everyone else was making fun of. But I am waaaaaaaay cooler now, so oh my God, oh my God, oh my God look at what Paris Hilton is wearing!

Paris was out and about celebrating her upcoming 27th birthday party at Area nightclub on Friday night in what can only be described as a concussion-induced fashion choice. I know no one wants to get older, and 27 means you’re a real adult, which is incredibly scary. You can knock off a year or two when you lie about your age, but no way can you knock off 20 years, like Paris seems to be attempting here.

Wearing a tiara, patterned multi-coloured tights and a mint green strapless mini-dress, the starlet, who turns 27 on February 17, was barely recognisable when she arrived at an LA club last night.

And the bizarre get-up didn’t stop there. Paris even had hot-pink hair extensions to match her sparkly pink bag and shoes.

After receiving presents and cards the celebutante danced the night away in the garb which in no resembles her usual sleek style of dress.

[From the Daily Mail]

She looks exactly like my Princess Sparkle My Little Pony. In fact that’d be a big step up for Paris, because Princess Sparkle had this really uncomfortable looking plastic bed with hard plastic sheets. It did a good job of keeping Princess Sparkle’s pants on… might do the same thing for Paris Hilton. And that’d be a birthday present for us all. Paris was able to pull her outfit together with some stunning, glitter-encrusted stilettos. You know what’s never a good idea? Drawing attention to your feet when they’re a size 13. Nothing draws the eye downward like glitter shoes. Or looking at Paris Hilton’s face.

Pictures thanks to WENN.

I have been consistently impressed by the relationship between Demi Moore, new husband Ashton Kutcher and ex-husband Bruce Willis. Though you hear a lot of unpleasant things about Moore, you can’t argue that she’s been pretty mature about her divorce and friendship with Bruce. Some people have said they just do it for the kids, like that’s a bad thing. How in the world could it be a negative to keep up a friendly relationship with your kids’ other parent? Bruce and Demi are occasionally spotted out having lunch together, so it seems like they are genuinely cool with each other.

This weekend Demi had a birthday party for Ashton’s 29th, and keeping to form, the whole family was invited - Bruce included.

Ashton Kutcher’s 29th birthday party was nothing if not unconventional.

The Punk’d star rang in the occasion with his wife 45-year-old wife Demi Moore - and her ex husband Bruce Willis.

The unlikely trio dined at a LA restaurant on Saturday, along with Demi and Bruce’s children Rumer, 19, Scout, 16, and 13-year-old Tallulah Belle.

Far from being uncomfortable, Ashton and Bruce, 52, appeared to revel in each other’s company and even indulged in a moment of playful wrestling.

[From the Daily Mail]

Demi recently commented on the transition the entire family went through when she and Ashton got married. She was incredibly generous in her descriptions of what everyone went through. “It wasn’t a piece of cake. It wasn’t automatic or easy. It took diligence and effort and even enduring awkwardness, and a lot of general giving on my part and Bruce’s part. And really, tremendously, on Ashton’s part.” Though their family unit is certainly unconventional, can you imagine how much better a lot of divorced kids would feel if their parents had been that cool with each other? Though Bruce and Demi’s daughter Rumer gets a lot of crap for her appearance, you generally don’t hear about their daughters much in the media. And frankly if any celebuspawn of parents that famous were misbehaving, you know the paparazzi would be all over it. It shows that being decent to each other can only do good.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s the family (minus Scout LaRue) at the Live Free or Die Hard premiere. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Heather Mills has done a fabulous job of becoming one of the most loathed women in the world. Really, for someone who’s tried so hard to be liked – and seems utterly astonished that she’s so loathed – Heather really couldn’t have done a better job of being hated if she were trying. She threw herself a lavish birthday party, but chose only to invite some of her neighbors, obviously offending the others. And considering they have to put up with living near Heather Mills, the least they should get is a nice gift bag.

Heather Mills snubbed her neighbors when she celebrated her 40th birthday bash last night - so they blasted out Beatles hits as her guests arrived. Heather’s friends were greeted by the sounds of Hey Jude echoing from the house opposite her East Sussex mansion. The ex-wife of Beatle legend Paul McCartney invited some neighbors to the bash, but left others off the guest list.

Claire Patterson, 24, who lives in a bungalow opposite the Mills estate, said: “I’m a Macca fan not a Mucca fan. I can’t believe we didn’t get an invite, but the neighbors opposite did. It’s so rude. When we have a party, we invite everyone. Anyone is welcome. But it seems we weren’t wanted.”

Her mum Gloria, 47, a big Beatles fan, threw a little party of her own and cranked up the volume on her stereo as it blasted out the band’s greatest hits. Gloria said: “We’re fine out here. And anyone is welcome to our party.”

[From the Mirror]

Heaven forbid Heather be nice to regular folks - people might actually start to like her! Just looking at Heather Mills’ face makes me want to throw eggs at her house. I can’t imagine trying to resist that urge while actually being within throwing range of her estate… or her face. It’d be a constant exercise in torment. Now her neighbors at least have a legitimate (in my book) excuse to egg the place. I can’t imagine how excruciating it would be to live within yelling distance of that woman.

The upside to this story is that Paul McCartney made another attempt to make nice with Mills, though I have no idea why he’d bother. Oh, for his daughter. But I can’t imagine any reason beyond that. Maybe to get closer so that he could throw eggs at her too?

Sir Paul McCartney has attempted to mend the rift between himself and estranged wife Heather Mills - by splashing out on thousands of dollars’ worth of gifts for her 40th birthday. Mills, who celebrated her birthday on Saturday, was left shocked after the ex-Beatles’ driver delivered presents including a $4,000 (£2,000) Cartier watch, a $10,000 (£5,000) gift card from luxury British department store Harvey Nichols, and goody bags with products from La Prairie skincare, Kanebo Cosmetics and Charles Worthington haircare.

The presents were accompanied by drawings made by the couple’s four-year-old daughter Beatrice, including a framed picture of the three of them as a family. A hand-written card attached to the gifts read, “Have an amazing day, despite what’s happened. Hope we can be friends. P x.”

[From PR Inside]

I’m guessing the skincare, haircare, and cosmetics weren’t so much a gift as they were a gentle hint from Sir Paul. Heather Mills has always been pretty… severe looking. Motherhood didn’t soften her, and aging certainly won’t help. Though having such a severe personality obviously doesn’t do anything good to her face. Happy birthday Heather!

Picture note by Jaybird: Header of Heather Mills and that angry mouth of hers on November 21st. I think the paparazzi purposely tries to get the most unflattering pictures of her possible. Images thanks to WENN.

Oh creepiest of creepy things. Scarlett Johansson, who generally seems classy enough (at least compared to most of her Hollywood peers) gave boyfriend Ryan Reynolds the freakiest gift since Van Gogh’s ear: one of her teeth. Though the pair haven’t been together all that long, Scarlett seemed to think the best present for Ryan was a piece of herself. And what’s easier to get rid of than a tooth? Slicing off the ear has been done, and we all know that a toe is totally played out. But a tooth? Now that’s unique. What an expression of love. Apparently Scarlett had her wisdom teeth taken out a little while before Ryan’s birthday. I’m guessing the idea came to her while she was under the influence of some pretty good dental surgery drugs.

Things are, like, totally heating up between Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, and we’re not just saying so because the buxom blonde recently hit Canuckland with Ry to meet the parentals. Fraternizing with the fam is one thing, but now. This simply has become a supercreepy canoodling biz. See, Scar’s gone and given Ryan a piece of…herself? We’re not talking nooky, either. Read on…

David BeckhamRyan’s B-day was Tuesday, and last weekend, Scar-doll threw the slinky Smokin’ Aces studster an early bash at Chateau Marmont. How very nice. Can you guess what terribly unique prezzie S.J. picked to gift Ry with? A full-body massage, with each of David Beckham’s bod-guards present (just like Becks does), just to make sure everything gets kneaded properly? A walk-on in Johansson Svengali Woody Allen’s next slobbering outing? Oh, never mind, there’s no way you’ll ever guess, so we’ll just spill: one of her pearly whites. Yep, you read right.

Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob Thornton“She’d just had her wisdom teeth removed, so she had one dipped in gold and strung on a necklace for him,” says Desk Ouch!, who ran to us with the goss, practically hyperventilating with the nitrous-oxide-laced looniness. Nasty. Who do these two think they are, Angelina and Billy Bob or something?

[From The Awful Truth on E!]

Wading through Ted Casablanca’s writing is like swimming through a giant vat of pudding while searching for a pearl: you know it’s in there, but it hurts to keep opening your eyes to try to find it. Anyway. Maybe Scarlett’s just cheap. I mean if you’re already shelling out for the surgery, why not kill two birds with one stone and get a free present out of the deal? Celebrities get so much stuff for free: she probably just thought the tooth was free surgery swag and wanted to re-gift it. They sell gold paint at the craft store for about a dollar, and I doubt Ryan would notice the difference. How closely are you going to inspect the color when someone’s just given you their tooth on a chain? I pretty sure if they get married, he should expect jewel-encrusted toenail clippings.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Scarlett Johansson on set filming, ‘Midnight in Barcelona’ with Woody Allen. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Ashley Tisdale turned 22 yesterday – and had a party. An alcohol-free party.

The actress — best known for her roles in Disney’s “High School Musical” and “The Suite Life of Zack & Cody” — kept her birthday bash rated PG, with no booze! Tisdale and her 20-something friends partied at The Beachbody House, hosted by Silver Spoon, where perks of the all-girl fiesta included free mani/pedis, kayak rides and a bar … with selections from Coffee Bean! The only alcohol was used for removing henna tattoos!

TMZ

Could this be Paris/Britney/Lindsay backlash? Where suddenly it’s going to be cool to be seen carrying around a water bottle again?

Actually, this party sounds like a ton of fun. Maybe Ashley saves her hard nights of drinking for regular days of the year, and does something different on her birthday? Or maybe the whole day at the beach was to get a manicure, pedicure, tan and henna tattoos all ready for the real party later that night? I’m onto you Ashley Tisdale.

The people of Austria went all out for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 60th birthday Monday. Not only did officials in Thal Bei Graz - the small village where Arnold was born – declare it “A Day for Arnold,” they also had a special birthday Mass for the former bodybuilder/actor/governor, and a ceremony with the mayor. There were strudels, schnitzels, a brass band, and most importantly, the original address numbers from the house where Arnold was born. Apparently the numbers were also retired, similar to what’s done for famous athletes. Town Mayor Peter Urdl said “This belongs to him. No one here will ever be assigned that number again.”

It doesn’t appear that Schwarzenegger was present for the ceremony, but simply that it was done in his honor. When interviewed by Vienna newspaper Kronen Zeitung in Sacramento, Schwarzenegger was asked what his birthday wish was, and it was actually pretty good.

“’My wish is that this great country [the U.S.] once again gets the reputation it once had around the world.’”

[From the Washington Post]

It’s nice that he was realistic enough to admit that America’s reputation is really lacking. The interviewer also asked what Arnold would ask for if a magic fairy appeared and granted him five wishes (I’m guessing she’s their star reporter now).

“Schwarzenegger said he hoped for continued married bliss with his wife, Maria Shriver; that they would be good role models for their children; for political success in the rest of his term as governor; and for continued health and vitality.

“’When my father turned 60, I was just 20, and at the time he seemed terribly old. Now I’m 60, too, but I don’t feel old at all,’ he said.”

[From the Washington Post]

That was only four wishes, so I’m going to assume he counted his birthday wish as the fifth. Bad math, Arnold. All of the things he said sounded pretty sane and level, especially for a guy that’s a bit of a kook. Arnold’s birthday honor was an especially big deal because Austrians had soured a bit on the governator after he didn’t block the execution of a gang member in 2005. Austrians, and Europeans in general, do not support capital punishment. The execution led to protests in Austria, which culminated in the renaming of a soccer arena in Graz, which had once been named after Schwarzenegger. Apparently that really annoyed him, and he severed ties with the city. Things seem to be going a little better for him, at least in his birth city, if the massive “A Day for Arnold” celebration is any indication. I mean yes, they renamed a giant stadium to hurt his feelings, but they did retire the numbers to his house, so that’s almost as big an honor.

Header image is from the Florida Summit on Global Climate Change on 07/13/2007, thanks to PRPhotos.