Here’s a bad idea for you: raise three kids, two of whom are known worldwide for their mistakes – and then release a parenting book. If you’re Lynne Spears, you might just be delusional enough to think that’s a good idea. Once Jamie Lynn got pregnant, Lynn put the project on hold. Since then, it sounds like the concept has been reworked. The publisher is no longer calling it a parenting book – instead it’s being peddled as a memoir. Much smarter idea.

Lynne Spears’s memoir about raising her famous daughters Britney and Jamie Lynn will be released this fall, the publisher confirms to PEOPLE.

“When Jamie Lynn got pregnant, it was put on hold,” says a spokesman for Thomas Nelson, which publishes inspirational books and Bibles. “Lynne never stopped working on it because she wants to express her love for her children and tell their stories through a mother’s eyes.” Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World” is likely to be released in September, says the spokesman.

“Lynne has had a dramatic life. People will be be very surprised to find out the kind of person she really is,” says Lorilee Craker, who worked with Spears on the project. “Lynne has been incredible to work with.” Spears’s manuscript “will not be a parenting book,” Nelson says. “It’s her story of what it was like being a mom and raising two very famous people. It’s a memoir.”

[From People]

It’ll be interesting to see if Lynne defends her parenting, admits to her mistakes, or just glosses over them. It’s been widely reported that she let Britney get breast implants at 16 and encouraged her to overtly exploit her sexuality for the sake of her career. Jamie Lynn got pregnant at 16. Her oldest child, Brian, lives in New York and isn’t involved in show business. He’s arguably the kid that’s turned out the best – though if nothing else, Jamie Lynn is still very young and despite the pregnancy could still turn out great. So could Britney, to be fair.

Lynne Spears doesn’t seem as delusional as someone like Dina Lohan, but she’s still got some explaining to do. Depending on how she handles tough issues in her book, it could drastically sway people’s opinion about her. If she fesses up to her mistakes, it could make you feel some empathy for a mother that tried and failed. But if she spends too much time defending her decisions, it could cause a serious backlash.

Here are some pictures of Lynne Spears with her daughters over the last year. Images thanks to WENN.

Madonna has a younger brother, Christopher Ciccone, who worked with her on the Blonde Ambition and Girlie Show tours, and her Truth or Dare film. Lately the two haven’t been close, possibly because he’s trying to hide from her while he writes her unauthorized biography.

Madonna’s brother, Christopher Ciccone, is writing a memoir about his sister to be released in mid-July by an imprint of Simon & Schuster, the publisher says.

The imprint, Simon Spotlight Entertainment, had been promoting a celebrity memoir for July without identifying the author or contents. Life With My Sister Madonna will have a first printing of 350,000. Financial details were not disclosed.

“Ciccone’s extraordinary memoir is based on his life and 47 years of growing up with and working with his sister - the most famous woman in the world,” the publisher said in a statement on Wednesday.

The West Australian

Madonna’s publicist initially had no comment, but later stated that “Madonna has not cooperated with any biography about herself”.

This is not the first time a biography has been written about the Queen of Pop, I think it’s fair to say there have been dozens of them, but this is the first time family members have been talking. They are brave people - have you seen her arms? She’s could take you.

No details of the biography have been leaked, but since it’s by her brother I think it will deal with her childhood, loss of her mother, and relationship with her father and stepmother. Those are all things Madonna has spoken about before. I have a 1991 issue of Rolling Stone where she talks to Carrie Fisher about her difficult life. (It also has Arnold Schwarzenegger on the cover saying he’s not interested in entering politics.)

Madonna also talked about her mother’s death and Warren Beatty in her Truth or Dare film.

What hasn’t really been discussed much are her children (although, her whole Ray of Light album is all about motherhood). Also her relationship with Guy Richie has always been pretty private, probably because it’s not very interesting. I get the feeling that Madonna in her 40s and in her marriage is just boring and normal like the rest of us - staying at home and having a cup of tea in the evenings with Guy, while the kids are sleeping.

It’s a shame that Madonna has lost touch with her brother, but she has three kids and lives in another country from her family. It takes a lot of work to communicate with people across different timezones, and I get the feeling that Madonna only has one item on her agenda: Madonna. And that may be exactly what her brother’s book claims.

Christopher Ciccone is shown on 3/25/07 at a party, thanks to Splash News. Madonna is shown outside her gym house on 6/6/08, thanks to WENN.

There are some celebrities that have really earned their fame. And there are some that have lived amazing lives, overcome adversity, or have become immensely powerful and influential. I’m thinking of the Oprahs of the world. But there are lots of famous people who have something to say. Yet it seems like the ones who should shut the crap up are the most likely not to be able to shut their bovine-esq jaws. That’s right, I’m talking about Heather Mills. You know whenever I reference a cow chewing its cud, we’re talking about Heather.

The former Mrs. Paul McCartney – who has neither earned her fame nor lived an amazing life – is writing a lifestyle book, packed with helpful tips so you, too, can be just as successful, happy, and respected as Heather.

Heather Mills has taken her promotion of veganism to another level in her new book, a healthy living manual.

In the 64-page book entitled Get Healthy with Heather, the 40-year-old former wife of ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney dispenses advice on how to live a stress-free life, including swapping to a vegan diet.

Heather said: “Spring is in the air and this is a time for change, regeneration and new beginnings. We all know sometimes that life’s problems can be quite overwhelming so it’s really important we learn to relax properly and iron out those everyday stresses and strains.”

Packed with motivational quotes and tips from Heather, the book advises on the best way to move to a vegan diet.

[From Stuff]

No word on whether Heather will disclose her secret explanation of how she unhinges her jaw at that angle to make that face of hers. I understand where Heather in coming from, in terms of the vegan thing. The English countryside is filled with pastures. Cow-filled pastures, in fact. What if Heather happened to be ambling along one day, just talking - not even chewing, but talking – and some ravenous meat-eater saw her gaping maw and mistook her for cattle? Her life could be in serious jeopardy. Heather’s often said she’s afraid for her safety; I think we’ve likely figured out why. She’s just trying to save her own hide. Or face.

Here’s Heather’s mouth at the Farm Sanctuary Gala 2008 at Cipriani’s Wall Street in New York on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN.

77 year-old former Star Trek star William Shatner has an autobiography out called Up Till Now that the publisher promises is “touching and very funny.” Among the anecdotes Shatner provides in his book is the fact that a lot of female Star Trek fans wanted to sleep with Captain Kirk, not him. He also hinted that those kind of situations didn’t do much for him in the performance department:

[William Shatner] insists he couldn’t enjoy flings with the series’ most devoted followers because he was so turned off by their bizarre bedroom behaviour.

In his new autobiography, Up Till Now, Shatner explains how women would pretend they were being “beamed up” by the Starship Enterprise commander, shrieking: “So, this is what it’s like to
be in bed with Captain Kirk!”

He writes: “You can’t imagine how much of a downer that is in every sense of the word.”

[From Contact Music via Fark]

Captain Kirk on the Star Trek TV series was hot. He was always wearing that tight yellow uniform shirt and seducing the 60s minx female aliens. I could see asking him to pretend he was Kirk in bed. You want to get with the guy with the piercing eyes who saves the day, not the actor who does bad cover versions of hit songs.

Among Shatner’s other relevations in his autobiography is the fact that the actress who played Lt Uhura, Nichelle Nichols, told him she hated him. Their interracial kiss on Star Trek in 1968 was a big deal at the time. Nichols jokingly told Shatner during his Comedy Central roast “Let’s make TV history again… and you can kiss my black ass!”

In a January, 2008 interview with Details Magazine, Shatner said that after Star Trek ended in the early 70s he was going through an expensive divorce and had to live out of his pickup truck. He also talked about the painful loss of his third wife, Nerine Kidd, who drowned in 1999.

Shatner has played lawyer Denny Crane on ABC show Boston Legal since 2004. He told Details that it was a “stupid oversight” that JJ Abrams didn’t give him a cameo in the latest film version of Star Trek although Leonard Nimoy has a part. His future plans include ideas for a talk show and animated films. He has been married to his fourth wife, Elizabeth Anderson Martin, since 2001.

William Shatner and his wife Elizabeth are shown below at the “Star Trek: The Tour” Press Conference and Preview on 1/17/08, thanks to PRPhotos. You can learn more about “Star Trek: The Tour” on their website.

The National Enquirer has the details from Barbara Walters’ upcoming book, Audition: A Memoir, which includes all the affairs she had - when she was married, when she was single with married men, and when she was single with men you might consider fug who happened to be powerful. Walters promoted the book by confessing to Oprah of an affair 30 years ago with married US senator Edward Brooke. Brooke’s wife passed away 13 years ago, and The Enquirer reports that an insider claims “she hated Barbara Walters till the day she died” and blamed her for their divorce. Wikipedia says 88 year-old Brooke now lives in Miami with his second wife and has two daughters and a son. He has refused to comment about Walters’ memoir and their supposed affair.

78 year-old Walters figures she may as well open the floodgates on her past since no one else is going to cash in on it for her. She was married and divorced three times and has plenty of stories to tell. Other men she had relationships with include former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, former Bear Sterns CEO Alan Greenberg, and Virginia Senator John Warner. (Before he was a Senator.)

Here’s the Enquirer’s details of her affair with a married man. Although they don’t specify exact dates, if it was shortly after her first marriage ended she would have been around 30.

Next up [after her failed first marriage of three years] was a clandestine affair with a married man named Claude Phillippe, the head of catering at several Posh NY hotels.

“He knew all about wine, food, restaurants and was the epitome of sophistication. He started to call. I was thrilled. And so began two of the most romantic years of my life. I wasn’t thinking of marrying again, so his being married didn’t bother me…” says Barbara

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 19, 2008]

The Enquirer says that Barbara then met her second husband, theatrical producer Lee Gruber, on a blind date, and divorced him after 10 years. They adopted a baby daughter together in 1968, when Barbara was 39. Next was her affair with senator Brooke for several years.

After that affair came tumbling down, she moved on to Alan Greenspan, John Warner before he was a senator and again after his divorce from Liz Taylor, and Alan ‘Ace’ Greenberg. In 1986, she was married for a third time to producer Merv Adelson. That marriage only last six years.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 19, 2008]

Maybe we can assume Walters had it the hardest for Brooke, since that’s who she’s talking about after all this time. The lady is 78 years old, though, and she gave marriage a try a few times. She cheated but she’s open about it. And it sounds like her last secret affair was with Brooke, and that was over 30 years ago.

As for Star Jones, who lit into Barbara for telling it like it is about the way Star lied about her gastric bypass surgery and got freebies for her wedding by mentioning sponsors on The View - Barbara says “Poor woman, she’s gone through so much.” I love it.

We created the inset image of some of Barbara’s lovers, but credit goes for the idea to The National Enquirer. Barbara Walters is shown in the header on at the 2008 AARP Inspire Awards on 12/3/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Update: I was wrong that the last time Walters cheated was with Brooke. The NY Post reports today that she was sleeping with the two Alans at the same time, and that before that she was cheating on Edward Brooke with Alan Greenberg. Edward Brooke had asked his wife of 30 years for a divorce so he could be with Barbara in the open, reports The Post, but she then dumped him after a Nixon cabinet member told her the affair was a liability to her career. Damn Barbara!

They quote a conservative media group as saying “Barbara has now sunk to the very level of other attention-starved celebrities such as Paris Hilton or even Steve-O from ‘Jackass.’ ”

Out and proud actor Leslie Jordan, 53, has a new memoir coming out that’s supposed to be full of tales of his debauchery including plenty of sex and drugs. The Emmy-winning actor known for being the bitchy nemesis of Karen on Will and Grace writes that he’s had crushes on his co-stars. Billy Bob Thornton was especially appealing to him after he heard from John Ritter that the guy was hung like a rope. Considering the late great comic John Ritter gave him this information, you have to think that he was putting him on:

“Dean Cain was stunning, and the sight of him strutting about in his Superman outfit was truly magnificent,” Jordan gushes, recalling his cameo on “Lois and Clark.” “I showed up on the set determined not to ‘­peter-gaze,’ or at least not to get caught at it.”

He became obsessed with Billy Bob Thornton while filming “Hearts Afire” after co-star John Ritter hinted to him about the size of Thornton’s manhood.

Ritter explained that he’d gone surfing with Thornton and later hit the showers. Ritter told Jordan the sight of Thornton’s “rope” would cause him to “fall in love.”

Jordan laments that he never got the chance: “There are probably a lot of things I’ll go a lifetime without seeing - the Mona Lisa, the Taj Mahal, the pyramids. And I’ll probably never see Billy Bob’s wiener, either.”

[From The NY Daily News

Jordan's memoir is called "My Trip Down the Pink Carpet," and is available for pre-release through Amazon.

I read an interview with Jordan from 2006 on AfterElton.com, when he was promoting a series of autobiographical plays he was doing with Delta Burke. He said that it saddens him to see young men addicted to drugs and you can tell that he's been through a lot and is wiser for it. His biography is sure to be interesting if this is how he talks:

“I'm sitting here, 51 years of age,” he says. “I survived growing up in the '50s. I survived the '60s where I was a hippie smoking dope. I survived the '70s where I was staggering around in Elton John platform shoes, swallowing quaaludes and going to Studio 54. I survived the '80s where I made a whole lot of money and did a whole lot of cocaine. Then crystal meth came on the scene — that was me in the '90s.”

He continues: “And now I'm sober. I buried an entire phone directory of friends to AIDS. And yet I survived. I feel I have to give back. I'm still at the AIDS walks and the marches.”

“You know what really saddens me?” he asks. “In the early '80s you'd be walking down the street and you'd see someone you hadn't seen in a while, and they were gaunt and really white. It was just heartbreaking. You thought, ‘Oh my God — it has got them.' And now in this day and age, it's almost the same thing. You see someone walking down the street and they are gaunt. Crystal's got 'em. It's a huge problem in our community. It really messes with you.

“I see these young, beautiful gay men jerking and twitching and thinking they look so fabulous, yet their eyes are completely dead. I do a lot of work with recovery programs and houses. It's sad so many young men are getting wrapped up in it.”

He adds: “But one thing I'll say about gay people: We take care of our own. We learned that in the AIDS crisis. And we'll take care of this.”

[From AfterElton.com]

Jordan also said he was glad to get work as an openly gay actor and didn’t worry about being typecast and just accepted the paychecks.

Do you think Billy Bob Thornton is hugely endowed though, or was John Ritter just messing with Jordan? He seems like the type to make something like that up. Has Thornton been nude for any roles so that we can see for ourselves? Frantic googling didn’t produce any results.

Billy Bob Thornton is shown outside the Late Show on 9/13/07 and at The Astronaut Farmer premiere on 2/20/07. Those jeans are too loose and I’ve looked through plenty of photos and he just doesn’t wear tight jeans. Maybe that’s for comfort purposes. Leslie Jordan is shown at the GLAAD media awards on 4/26/08. Thanks to WENN and PRPhotos.

Miley Cyrus has received a seven figure advance for her memoirs at the tender age of 15. Her book, which will undoubtedly be ghost or co-written, will cover her astronomic rise to fame from not-so-humble country star dad beginnings, and will be published by Disney Book Group.

Miley has issued a statement saying that she’s oh so excited to let everyone know how much her family means to her:

The book will focus on the 15-year-old’s road to fame, from growing up in Tennessee to navigating the spotlight as an international star, and how her family – especially mother Leticia – helps keep her grounded. According to Disney, the book will feature never-before-seen photos, family stories and a look at the star’s inner circle.

“I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” Cyrus said. “I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together, and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.”

[From People.com]

This girl probably hasn’t had to write an essay in years, and now she’s getting a million bucks to put out a biography that either someone else will write or that all she’ll have to do is dictate, with someone else putting it together and editing it to make a compelling story. Miley has a private tutor, according to Wikipedia, and E! Online says that she goes to school on Fridays to take tests, so maybe I’m wrong that she is unskilled at writing, but you know Disney isn’t going to give her a million bucks and send her off on her way to write the thing.

Meanwhile more semi-scandalous photos of Miley hugging her previously-unknown maybe-boyfriend have come out. Earlier in the week the tween set let out a collective gasp at a photo of Miley lifting up her shirt to show part of her bra while a dark-haired guy around her age placed his hand lightly on her hip. Another picture showed Miley laying across his chest. The guy has been named as Thomas Sturges, but not much more information is available about him.

Photos via Gossip Rocks and The Hollywood Gossip.

Don’t you ever sit in the library and think, “This is alright, but what we really need are some books about plastic surgery for kids.” No? Odd. I’m pretty sure most of us have come upon this common problem: how do we explain our new breasts, our oddly arched eyebrows, or our creaseless faces to our four-year-olds? Granted I don’t have kids, but when I think about the future and all the worries modern parents have, I can’t help but stress at the thought of explaining my collagen lips and Nicole Kidman-esq forehead to my hypothetical daughter.

Luckily this problem has been taken care of: Doctor Michael Salzhauer, plastic surgeon to the stars (and your mom) has taken the burden off our shoulders and the fat off our guts. He’s written a new book for kids called “My Beautiful Mommy,” which aims to explain plastic surgery to the youngsters.

When she was pregnant with her son Junior, who turns nine this month, Gabriela Acosta ballooned from 115 pounds to 196. Acosta lost the weight but wound up with stretched, saggy skin. Even her son noticed it. He told her that her stomach looked “pruney,” the result, he thought, of staying in the shower too long. So the 29-year-old stay-at-home mom scheduled a consultation with Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a board-certified plastic surgeon in Bal Harbour, Fla.

Acosta told Salzhauer that she wasn’t sure how to talk to her son about the procedures she was considering. That’s when he showed her the manuscript for his children’s picture book, “My Beautiful Mommy” (Big Tent Books), out this Mother’s Day. It features a perky mother explaining to her child why she’s having cosmetic surgery (a nose job and tummy tuck). Naturally, it has a happy ending: mommy winds up “even more” beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.

[From Newsweek]

Though it seems like a sad comment on our times – or at the very least, a semi-ridiculous attempt to make money with an unnecessary book – Newsweek talks to several experts who say it’s actually a pretty good idea. Plastic surgeries and “Mommy Makeovers” are more common today than ever – like it or not. Kids do notice those things – especially when mommy comes home looking like she just got beat up. That can be pretty scary, and when you don’t honestly explain what happened, children fill in the details on their own.

Child psychiatrist Elizabeth Berger, author of “Raising Kids With Character,” likes the idea of a book for kids. “If the mother is determined to pursue cosmetic surgery, I think it’s terribly important to discuss it with the child,” Berger says. But she says the book is incomplete. She wishes that the mom had just said something like, “This is silly, but I really want it anyway,” she says. “That is more honest and more helpful to the child.”

[From Newsweek]

Berger also notes that young kids are “concrete” and “sensible” – and know that you generally go to a doctor when you’re sick. It makes sense to share what’s really going on. Yet it’s hard to step away from the vanity of the book too. The implication that something is wrong with mommy - and that her natural body isn’t good enough – can obviously make a child think there’s something wrong with her own body. Not that many people are lucky enough to go through life without having body confidence issues, but seeing mommy’s cosmetic surgery could easily teach a kid that drastic measures must be taken to correct perceived flaws.

“My Beautiful Mommy” is an interesting concept and has certainly gotten a ton of press. It’ll be interesting to see if it ends up being a niche book that does some good, or if it goes down in the books as one giant step backwards.

Bobby Brown, fresh from a stint on the painful reality show “Gone Country,” has written a tell-all book about his marriage to diva Whitney Houston. I guess he needed the money to cover all his bail, back child support, and drug habit. Brown’s book attempts to paint his ex-wife as the one who introduced cocaine into the household, and claims that she only married him to kill rumors that she was gay.

With an ex-husband like Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston doesn’t need enemies.

In his upcoming autobiography, Brown blows the lid on his wildly dysfunctional marriage to the troubled, Grammy-winning diva, suggesting that she drove him into a nightmare of drug addiction.

“I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice,” Brown writes in “Bobby Brown: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But,” out next month. “At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine.”

As far as his 15-year marriage to Houston is concerned, it “was doomed from the very beginning. Within the first year we separated, with several more to follow,” Brown writes. “I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married . . . I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children.”

Whitney, he alleges, had been under “a lot of pressure. The media was accusing her of having a bisexual relationship with her assistant, Robin Crawford. Since she was the American Sweetheart and all, that didn’t go too well with her image . . . In Whitney’s situation, the only solution was to get married and have kids. That would kill all speculation, whether it was true or not. In the short, I think I got caught up in the politics and ended up marrying one of the biggest stars in the world.”

But Brown notes that he was no saint in their relationship, confessing in his book, “I am guilty of sleeping with other women . . . Women are always throwing themselves at you. I’m only human, so I would make the mistake and bite the hook sometimes . . . I let the testosterone take over.”

One of his most public indiscretions was an affair with former exotic dancer Karrine “Superhead” Steffans. “Yes, I’ve slept with her,” he confesses. “Yes, I’ve spent several nights at her house. But she was only good for what her nickname stood for.”

[From Page Six]

“At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably.” Uh, yeah- I think that was last Tuesday. Sorry, I can’t stop laughing at this giant pile of BS. We are actually supposed to believe that Whitney Houston needed to clean up her image, and the best she could do was marry Bobby Brown? Bitch, please. That fool already had a criminal record and a nasty reputation as a misogynist long before Whitney came along. I think all that crack has addled Bobby’s memory. It’s also hilarious that he explains away his cheating in a few sentences, but rips into his wife for her supposed behavior. Whitney has more talent, fans, charisma and character- even in her current state- than Bobby Brown could ever hope to have.

Late comedian and SNL alum Chris Farley’s brother, Tom Farley, has written a book chronicling the star’s last days before his death by drug overdose. The book, with the imaginative title “The Last Days of Chris Farley,” will be hitting bookstores in May, but you can get an early peek in this week’s Playboy magazine, which printed some excerpts from it. Mostly, the book captures the desperation of Chris’ friends, co-stars and family as they tried to stop the actor from killing himself with drugs, alcohol and overeating.

CHRIS Farley’s pals shoved extra helpings of tough love down his throat but still couldn’t save the comic actor from himself, according to “The Last Days of Chris Farley.” The book by Farley’s brother Tom Farley and Tanner Colby quoted several of the actor’s friends, who saw the tragedy coming a mile down the line. Excerpts from “Last Days” will run in May’s Playboy, which hits newsstands Friday. Former “Saturday Night Live” star Chevy Chase recalled how he dressed down Farley while preparing for a reunion show: “Look, you’re not John Belushi. And when you overdose or kill yourself, you will not have the same acclaim that John did . . . You’ll be a blip in the New York Times obituaries page, and that’ll be it. Is that what you want?”

Farley’s sidekick David Spade said he’s still taking heat for failing to save Tommy Boy: “I got a lot of s - - - at the end about ‘Why weren’t you there for him?’ But being that close, I dealt with it all the time. And in that situation, before the guy’s dead, he’s just kind of an a - -hole. Truth is, you get a junkie who’s wasted all the time and moody and angry and trying to knock you around, you say, ‘OK, you go do that, and I’ll be over here.’ ” Farley overdosed in Chicago on Dec. 18, 1997. He was 33.

[From Page Six]

I disagree with Chevy- I think Chris Farley was every bit as talented as John Belushi, and his death was a lot more meaningful than a blip on the obituary page. He was one of those actors who would do absolutely anything for a laugh and didn’t care how foolish he looked. Some of my favorite SNL moments are courtesy of Chris, especially his infamous Chippendale dancer audition skit with Patrick Swayze. And who could forget Matt Foley, the motivational speaker who lived- say it with me- in a “van down by the river”! I know I’m not the only one who still misses Chris and wishes he could have straightened himself out. Well, at least I own “Tommy Boy” in DVD.