Last Wednesday, Nylon Magazine held a party for something or whatever. Among the attendees for this party were Lindsay Lohan, Eli Roth, Brandon Davis and Mischa Barton. Mischa and Brandon are exes, and although they weren‘t photographed together, by most accounts, they did see each other at the party. Later that night, Brandon‘s Twitter account was updated with this message: “Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I’m gonna start dating plus sized models. Not! Mischa the Hefer”. We reported this little incident on Friday, and many of us were enraged and firmly on Team Mischa.

Now Brandon is trying to eat sh-t. In Touch Weekly is running an “exclusive” statement from him that doesn’t really make any sense. Here you go:

Mischa Barton was said to be devastated after hearing about a recent Twitter post from ex-boyfriend Brandon Davis that made cruel comments about her weight. But now, Brandon tells In Touch exclusively that not only did he not make the taunts, he doesn’t even have a Twitter account!

“I would never say anything nasty about Mischa, especially about her weight,” the oil heir tells In Touch. “I am pissed that someone stole my identity and started Twittering things.”

Even his friend Michele Gargani knows he doesn’t do the whole Internet thing: “He has no clue what Twitter is, so it is obviously a fake account.”

One insider reports that Mischa has been offered $100,000 to publicly lose weight with Jenny Craig, although the company denies that claim. Besides, says the insider, “Mischa’s not that fat and is working out with a trainer to get her body back to what it was before.”

[From In Touch Weekly]

So is he saying that he doesn’t even have a Twitter account? Because he does. So that’s a lie. Or maybe he’s saying he has a Twitter account but doesn’t know how to operate it? Because obviously he does, he took down the insulting tweets and there are new tweets from him on the account now. See:

[From Brandon’s Twitter feed]

So he has a Twitter account, he knows how to update it, and he’s apologized via tweets. Now, did someone (Rick Soloman, the dude who boned Paris Hilton in that sex tape) post the stuff about Mischa? Could be. But I still think it was Brandon who did it. I mean, it’s not like this guy is some kind of gentleman and we can just take at his word. He’s a disgusting pig who likely badmouths his exes all the time. What else does he have to do all day, seriously?

Oh, and regarding the whole “Mischa is getting offers from Jenny Craig” thing? Give me a f-cking break, Jenny Craig. Mischa has put on like 15 pounds, and she’s now about a size six. She doesn’t need to diet! She needs to stop doing drugs and get a real job.

Many know Greasy Bear Brandon Davis from his various drunken, drugged out shenanigans and his absolutely horrible taste in women, from Paris Hilton to Mischa Barton to Avril Lavigne. He was also the dude who coined Lindsay Lohan “Firecrotch”. The man is disgusting, and a waste of space. A greasy waste of space:

Anyway, Brandon ran into his ex-grilfriend Mischa Barton at the Nylon Magazine party on Wednesday night, and he didn’t like what he saw in his ex. Meaning, he thought she looked horrible. So he took to his Twitter to insult her (although he’s pulled the message down now): “Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I’m gonna start dating plus sized models. Not! Mischa the Hefer”. Yes, he spelled “heifer” wrong. Here’s more:

Brandon Davis has found another way to bring negative attention to himself, taking to Twitter to call his ex-girlfriend Mischa Barton a fat hefer. He caught sight of her at a party for Nylon Wednesday night in LA and unleashed this message: “Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I’m gonna start dating plus sized models. Not! Mischa the Hefer”.

Brandon is an oil heir who is most famous for his oily complexion, dating Mischa Barton during her ‘O.C.’ days and calling Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch. Brandon was overweight until a couple of years ago. A partygoer said Mischa was upset by the encounter with her ex and left around midnight.

“She was chain-smoking the entire night,” the source told the Daily News. “Mischa was never without a cigarette in her hand — and a puss on her face.”

[From The Huffington Post]

Ugh. On one side, I do think Mischa looks like crap. But I haven’t said anything about her weight, have I? No. Only her drugged out face and horrible hair and crappy clothes. Because those are the things I get judgy about. Has Mischa gained weight? Of course. She recently got heavy criticism for pouring her slightly chunkier booty into some God-awful yellow pants that were at least two sizes two small. So part of this is just that the girl doesn’t know how to dress now that she’s no longer a size zero, for which I say, go ahead. It’s open season on bad fashion on not knowing how to dress for your body. But to call her a “hefer”? Ugh. Team Mischa.

It seems like there might be more to the Avril Lagigne-Deryck Whibley divorce drama. Previously, we’ve heard random excuses for their split, stuff about Avril’s drinking and partying, Deryck wanting babies, Avril cheating, Deryck cheating, both of them being too young and immature, and how basically both of them are ridiculous, stupid, ignorant wastes of space (I made that one up as one of “reasons” for their split, but it still works). Now we’re hearing a new “reason” and it involves Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis.

Avril and Greasy Bear have a somewhat well-documented friendship. “Friendship” being “they hang out occasionally and get drunk, maybe do some drugs”. There were rumors last month that they may be romantically involved. And that’s where In Touch is taking us – they claim that Brandon is “in love” with Avril, and asked her to divorce Deryck so they could be together. Sounds like someone’s getting punk’d, doesn’t it?

Avril Lavigne is telling friends that her three-year marriage to Deryck Whibley is ending because she tied the knot too young. But apparently it was really her close friendship with oil heir Brandon Davis that doomed the relationship.

Previously, In Touch reported that Deryck texted Brandon and told him to stay away from his wife after Avril and Brandon dined together, but her rep denied the incident. This time, according to an insider, it was Brandon who gave the ultimatum.

In early September, he told Avril to choose between him and her husband. “Brandon really likes Avril, but he’s not keen on dating a married woman… Ever since they first met, they’ve had a connection. But Avril was married to Deryck, so Brandon kept it casual.”

Now that she and Deryck have separated, the insider reveal that Avril and Brandon are planning to go public with their romance.

“They have major chemistry. They could wind up getting married,” says the pal, adding that the pair have been meeting at his mother’s Bel Air estate to avoid being photographed together.

They also had a rendezvous on a yacht in St. Tropez this summer, and Avril celebrated Brandon’s 30th birthday with him at Koi in LA on September 2, giving him an expensive art book as a present.

“They are together,” says the friend. “He loves Avril.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, October 5 2009]

Eh, I tend to think Avril deserves whatever she gets, she’s such a little pill. But I did feel a very, very small twinge of sympathy for her because Brandon Davis is one sketchy, gross, disgusting piece of trash. His bigotry, nastiness, creepiness, drunkenness, and general sketchiness is rather legendary. My guess is that if any part of this is true, Brandon is just doing this as a joke, to see if he could get her to dump Deryck. But here’s the part I don’t think is true – that Avril would move from Deryck to any kind of real relationship with Brandon, or anyone else. That girl wants to party. She wants to get drunk and sleep with whoever she wants. You know, the same stuff she did while she was married.

Brandon Davis is shown out on 9/17/09 (with hat, credit: WENN) and 7/6/09 (smoking, credit: Ghost/Fame Pictures). Yes, he’s wearing the same shirt two months later. Avril Lavigne is shown out with Brandon Davis on 2/12/09 (credit: Fame Pictures) and out shopping on 8/11/09 (credit: Right/Fame Pictures)

While singer Avril Lavigne’s husband, Deryk Whibley, is on tour with his band, Sum 41, Avril isn’t sitting around waiting for him to come home. In fact, Avril’s been photographed partying her ass off in the French Riviera with none other than Paris Hilton’s and Mischa Barton’s ex-boyfriend, Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis, oil heir and douchebag extraordinaire. The new photographs have kick-started another round of rumors about the stability of Avril and Deryk’s marriage.

While Derek Whibley was performing onstage with his band, Sum 41, his wife, Avril Lavigne, was spotted partying on the French Riviera with oil heir Brandon Davis, sparking rumors that the pair are getting closer by the day. Avril hit the scene in St. Tropez a few days after Brandon flew in on July 16.

“Brandon and Avril hang out together all of the time, but it’s unclear if Deryck is award of it,” a pal reveals. “Brandon and Avril are always careful not to be photographed together.”

Although a rep for Avril says that she and Brandon just happened to be at the same yacht party and Brandon is “just a friend,” an insider questions whether it’s really a coincidence that they were both here at the same time. In recent months, Avril and Brandon, 30, were spotted all over LA, including West Hollywood bar El Carmen, Pace restaurant, and partying at hotspot MyHouse.

But the French getaway definitely appeared to lift her spirits. Just days before, Avril, 24 and Deryck, 29, were having a more low-key time at Madeo in LA together. “She looked miserable when she was leaving,” says a witness.

[From In Touch print version, Aug. 10, 2009]

I don’t know if I believe that Avril is getting romantic with Brandon Davis. First of all, Avril pretty much looks miserable all the time, except for when she is drunk off her ass. Oil heir or no, it would definitely be a downgrade on the celeb ladder to trade her rock star hubby in for Paris and Mischa’s sloppy seconds. I think she is just looking for someone as rich and connected as she is to drink and party with while her husband’s away. And maybe a drunken roll in the hey every once in a while – if she’s willing to risk exposure to the herp! I do wonder when she finds time to do all that charity work she is always talking about in between the shots and yacht parties, don’t you?

Header photo of Avril Lavigne dancing and drinking with friends at the VIP Room nightclub in Saint Tropez on July 23rd. Photos in trucker hat taken yesterday; photos in black hat were taken on July 26th. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Legendary douchbag useless partier Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis made a major fool out of himself last night. After partying at the Viper Room – and wearing quite the little outfit, no less – Davis left the club doing the usual paparazzi scamper. You know, something along the lines of “Go away, please leave me alone, I don’t want to talk… hey don’t leave me! What’s wrong with you? What if I make a scene, will you care now?” The guy should be pretty happy the paps even know who he is – though admittedly he’s never gotten a word of good press.

Last night won’t change that – Davis smashed into Pink’s car while backing out of his parking space. Even though he was going pretty slowly, there was a huge dent in the SUV.

Brandon Davis, allegedly drunk, walked out of a liquor store at 1am on Monday morning after a night of partying at the Viper Room. The Mercedes driving socialite backed into an BMW SUV belonging to Pink while trying to leave the parking lot. After a brief meeting with Pink, both parties drove off of the premises. I’m sure Brandon is glad no cops showed up.

[From Hollywood TV]

It’s hard to tell if Brandon was drunk or just tired. To his credit, at least he didn’t pull a Britney Spears: hitting a parked car in front of the paparazzi and then waltzing away. He went back inside the club and found Pink. It’s sort of sad when the best thing you can say about a person is “At least they’re not as bad as ____.”

Here’s video of the incident. I’m fairly certain the grease from Brandon’s hair somehow factored into the crash. Maybe some dripped onto the ground when he was walking to his car, making it impossible for him to brake.

Here’s Brandon Davis looking mournful outside Crown Lounge in Los Angeles on November 5th. Images thanks to WENN.

Bradon Davis stayed at music producer Scott Storch’s mansion and Storch noticed that a watch worth $100k was missing right after Davis took off the next morning. Storch told Davis that he knew the item was stolen and that he caught it all on tape. Davis bawled his eyes out, begged Storch not to tell anyone, and returned the watch.

The other night, “Brandon and Scott went out and Brandon went back to Scott’s place and crashed on the couch,” a source said. “The next morning, when Scott got up, Brandon was already gone — and so was Scott’s $100,000 diamond encrusted watch that had been in the same room the night before. Scott called Brandon and told him the watch was missing but, ‘It’s OK — I just got a new security system, so everything’s on tape.’ ” After learning he’d be caught, Davis “started crying hysterically and saying, ‘Please don’t tell anyone — I’ll bring it back.’ Scott felt bad for him and got his watch back like an hour later, so he didn’t call the police.”

When Page Six asked Storch about the episode, he would only say, “I heard about this. Give peace a chance.” Davis couldn’t be reached.

[From Page Six]

Davis was recently robbed of a watch worth $49k in Barcelona, Spain in late February. The thieves also go away with $4,000 in cash and left him with a black eye.

Maybe Davis thought his richer friend wouldn’t miss an expensive watch like he did. Instead he got busted and is probably not welcome at another friend’s house. He has reportedly been couch surfing since his family cut him off last year for being a public douche. He got into a huge fight at his brother’s wedding last July and was said to be knocking over chairs and flower arrangements. Davis was crashing at Paris Hilton’s house for a while, but I think it’s safe to say he fell out with Paris after harassing Paula Abdul and Courtney Love at her birthday party.

Now Davis has alienated what may be one of his last remaining friends. And the guy showed him mercy and didn’t call the cops or make a statement against him. It seems that Davis does a good enough job sabotaging himself on his own.

Header image via Celebrity Mound.

Brandon Davis, one of the two men who re-defined douchiness (I’ll let you figure out who the other is) was detained at the Sydney airport on Saturday morning. His crime? No, he wasn’t held for being a grade-A jerk or being super fug (turns out those are disgusting, but not actually crimes). The heirhead brought more than $10,000 in cash into the country and failed to put it down on his customs form. One can’t help but wonder exactly how this was discovered. From the things I’ve heard about Brandon Davis, I’m going to guess he probably told everyone within hearing distance just how much money he had on him. It’s also pretty surprising that he had more than $42 in his wallet, consider he was supposedly cut off by his family. Guess he either made amends, or his rich friends are helping him out.

Davis was questioned by authorities for over two hours. His Australian model girlfriend got bored and eventually left him at the airport. Sounds like love.

Jetting into Sydney early on Saturday, the grandson of American oil magnate Marvin Davis and former conquest of Paris Hilton is understood to have been unceremoniously detained by Customs officials for having too much money on him.

Loaded with US dollars, the 28-year-old was delayed for more than two hours, while his pin-up girlfriend became increasingly agitated while waiting in the arrivals area. “She was pacing around the whole time, with her mobile phone at her ear, trying to look anonymous,” a witness told The Daily Telegraph. “With her sunglasses on inside, everyone was looking at her.”

A Customs spokesman declined to comment on individual passenger details for privacy reasons yesterday, but said travelers were required to declare if they were carrying more than $10,000 or the equivalent in foreign currency.

Davis… was finally allowed through to meet a waiting car and driver about 10.30am, after arriving on an 8am flight from the US. By that time, [girlfriend Cheyenne] Tozzi had been collected by friends in another vehicle, leaving her wealthy beau behind.

[From News.com.au]

After customs let Davis go, he reportedly went to several currency exchange bureaus, cleaning each one out of cash before going on to the next. I’m not sure how much money they tend to carry, but if he had to go to several exchange bureaus, one would think he really was carrying a ton of money. Not only am I super surprised that Brandon Davis has a ton of money to carry, but I’m surprised that even he is dumb enough to carry over $10,000 in cash. The other day I walked home from the grocery store carrying all of $250 in cash for five blocks and I was nervous. If I had over $10,000 in cash laying around, I’m pretty sure I’d bury it in the backyard. Mostly so Brandon Davis couldn’t find it. Which is how I’m guessing he got his hands on whatever money he has.

Picture note by Jaybird: Brandon Davis and an unidentified female (it could be girlfriend Cheyenn Tozzi, it’s too hard to tell) on the beach in Maui on New Year’s Eve day.. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Brandon Davis got into a huge fight with his father at his brother Alexander’s wedding at the Mantage Resort in Laguna Beach. According to Page Six Davis got into an enormous, and embarrassing, fight with his father Nebil “Bilo” Zarif. We’re not talking a few words muttered under his breath and storming out, slamming doors. According to witnesses, Davis was “’knocking over chairs and flower arrangements.’” Sounds like he was drunk. Again.

One witness said, ‘Brandon got so upset, he sent tables crashing . . . he had to be carried out of the reception.’”

[From Page Six]

One can only wonder what he was so upset about. Probably that the attention was on anyone but himself. That guy will do and say anything to make sure everyone’s looking at him. “Greasy Bear” as he’s known to all of the internet, has apparently lost a few pounds, though it’s not noticeable to the casual observer. Some have speculated that’s why he can’t hold his liquor as of late. Though as I remember it, the guy was just as famous for drunken rants when he was still a tubby.

It seems like no one wants Davis around anymore. In April, Page Six reported an incident between him and Paris Hilton’s former fiancée, Stavros Niarchos.

Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis is so unpopular, even his friends don’t want to be associated with him. The oil-heir grandson of the late Marvin Davis showed up to the Details magazine party March 29th at producer Mary Parent’s house in Hollywood and became enraged when he was denied access. According to our spy, ‘he started demanding that staffers get Stavros [Niarchos].’ The Greek shipping heir had evidently told Davis about the party and was already inside. But when staffers found Niarchos, he begged them to tell Davis that he wasn’t there, adding, ‘I didn’t invite him here, and I don’t really want to be around him.’ Niarchos then joined the other revelers. Davis eventually made such a fuss that he was allowed in – and Niarchos beelined to a Details editor to apologize, adding, ‘You know I would never bring him here.’”

[From Page Six]

This was all just a few weeks after he embarrassed himself at Paris Hilton’s birthday party, where he dry-humped Courtney Love in front of her daughter and drunkenly mocked Paula Abdul in front of a hundred people.

“’He kept on saying her last name over and over again, and then would insert his made-up version of an Arabic language. He was being very lewd and graphic and making sexual overtures to her in between being completely insulting.’”

[From the Daily News]

Oh to be rich and disgusting. I can’t think of anyone more derided by all than Brandon Davis. Even his pleather-wearing “little” brother Jason, currently in an e-fight with Perez Hilton, doesn’t compare (though he comes close). Brandon is the male celebutard, known for doing nothing but drinking, eating, and going to parties… where he drinks and eats. Considering the way he’s constantly mocking everyone within 100 feet of him, he should probably lay off the booze and cocktail wieners. Glass houses and such.

Brandon Davis’ mom called up her friend, comic actor Tom Arnold, and asked him to go over to the Beverly Hills hotel and save her cowardly son, who she thought was stuck in a room with some bullies or something. Brandon Davis is the socialite who’s rumored to be broke after his oil magnate dad died and left his family with a lot of debt. He’s known for hanging out with Paris Hilton and being a jerk.

Tom Arnold rushed into the hotel with a baseball bat thinking he’d rough up some drugged-out thugs who were bullying Davis, but there was no one in the room except for one girl. The funny thing about this article is the fact that Brandon sounds like a pussy who called his mom for help. (They never said he called her, though, just that she asked Tom Arnold to rescue him for some reason. I would bet she just didn’t want him hanging out with those guys.)

Wielding a baseball bat, Tom Arnold rushed to the rescue of bad boy Brandon Davis – after the billionaire heir’s worried mom begged Tom to save her troubled son.

[He] stormed into the ritzy Beverly Hills Hotel lobby on Jan 9, waving a bat and demanding: “Where’s Brandon Davis’ room?…”

His mom, socialite Nancy Davis, and Arnold are close pals – and she asked Arnold to rescue Brandon when she thought he was at the hotel with some rough companions.

“Tom charged into the hotel and told security he’d received a call that Brandon, who has a history of drug problems, was ‘pretty messed up and was with multiple guys who could be dangerous’ in a room there,” said a source.

“Security ran up to the room with Tom, expecting a big showdown. But by the time they got there, all they found was a frightened young girl.”

[From The National Enquirer print edition, January 29, 2007]

They say Arnold was trying to be a hero but missed his chance because Brandon bolted the scene before he got there. I wish this story ended with Tom Arnold wacking Brandon Davis over the head. Is that wrong?

Rumor has it that Brandon Davis is Lindsay Lohan’s unlikely savior, and that he encouraged her to go to rehab. It seems to me like she did it for her career, though, and I read that producers of her new movie told her to go to rehab or get out.

Paris Hilton’s rep is a genius. He comes up with the best excuses. Back in May he told the whopper that somehow Paris and Nicky spent hours shopping for their mother for Mother’s Day for Christian Dior items, even though they were only seen out at Kitson that day and they don’t carry that brand. Unfortunately, a “fellow whizzed by and grabbed the package” when it was being delivered. That’s precious!

Now he’s saying that the mysterious white substance up Paris’ nose after she was hanging with Brandon Davis in New York was “stray dessert!”

Is yet another young star having trouble keeping her nose clean? Just days after Nicole Richie was busted for DUI, it seems her friend Paris Hilton is being a bit more naughty than nice this holiday season. According to the New York Post, Paris was spotted with a bright white substance inside her nostril after a lunch with oil heir Brandon Davis at NYC’s hot Nello restaurant on Dec. 12.

Her rep, Elliot Mintz, was quick to issue a denial, with this fascinating explanation. “I can tell you Paris does not use narcotics,” he said. “I would imagine [it's] something like whipped cream or a sugary substance from dessert. Something that naturally might have found it’s way to onto her face if she touched her nose or whatever. I’d label it a stray dessert.” A stray dessert? If you say so. But here’s a tip, Paris: Next time, be careful with your candy (or “whatever”), you wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong impression.

I love that!

Here are the pictures in question, courtesy of Splash News Online.