I know we’ve heard this one before, on multiple occasions and involving at least three different guys. (Not at the same time, just to clarify.) But this week’s National Enquirer, my favorite trashy gossip rag, says that paparazzo Adnan Ghalib indeed has a sex tape he made with Britney, and is just waiting for the most lucrative moment to release it. And they have enough specific details about the date the tape was made, where it was shot, and what it contains that this comes off as plausible:

The source, who talked exclusively to the Enquirer, claims that the videtape was made in a $235-a-night junior suite at the Rosarito Beach Hotel. [during their Mexican vacation in January]

“Word is that the video starts with Britney undressing,” said an insider. “She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there in Rosarito.”

The sex wasn’t “particularly kinky,” says the insider, but Britney allegedly wears a pink wig throughout the video.

“Adnan tells her to take it off at one point, and she says coyly, ‘Take what off? There’s nothing left to take off.’”

According to the insider, Adnan, 35 had no intention of keeping the tape locked away, and someone is willing to pay millions for it.

The insider adds they may be waiting for the perfect time before releasing the tape.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 26, 2008]

For Britney’s sake I hope this isn’t true, because if it does exist you known Adnan is trying to get paid for it. They say that the best moment to release the tape may be when Britney is back on top again, if that happens, and when her long-anticipated comeback is in full force.

According to Mike Walker’s column in the same edition of the National Enquirer, Adnan has gone crawling back to his wife after two all-too-public affairs, one with Britney and another with a 20 year-old model who had a boyfriend at the time.

Britney is now on vacation in Costa Rica with her neighbor Mel Gibson and her dad, Jamie. She is also rumored to be pregnant for the third time.

Britney and Adnan are shown on 1/30/08 and 1/28/08, thanks to WENN.

I really don’t want to lay into Britney Spears. I feel like there is this unacknowledged agreement in the media that we all treat her with kid gloves right now, because she’s not falling apart as badly as she was. In fact you could almost say that she’s pulling her life together. And I am nothing if not a big supporter of the underdog. I love hearing about the girl with the drug problem who ended up going to Yale. And for Britney Spears, getting to be on How I Met Your Mother TWICE is pretty much her equivalent. However to be honest, I think she got into college because of her money or her name, or maybe slept with the dean or something. Because she was not competing with the rest of the students.

Though Brit seemed to get some decent reviews for her first performance, I thought she ranged from stilted and awkward to cheesy and overdone. This time around more reviewers seemed to be honest about her performance - it was sub par at best. the writers gave her a few more lines and made her more integral to the story – definitely a big mistake. To be fair to Britney, How I Met Your Mother seems to be suffering from some strike-induced stress, because it hasn’t been quite up to par lately. If you just started watching it for the first time because of Britney, it’d be fair to think it was mediocre at best. But it actually is one of only three great sitcoms left on the air in this pathetic age of reality crapivision. The other two being the illustrious Office and 30 Rock.

Bringing Britney back onto the show reeked of a desperation that How I Met Your Mother should not have bowed to. They clearly shoehorned her in at the last minute. Several reviews noted that she and Neil Patrick Harris had absolutely no chemistry. Harris told the Associated Press that the show shouldn’t employ Britney again, and should steer away from Will & Grace-esq stunt casting. Even though he later retracted his comments (in a manner you could tell was forced), I’m sure it made things awkward between him and Britney – and the result was flat, even in Harris’ usually brilliant performance.

Overall it led to a lackluster night. Britney should stick to what she used to be good at – performing songs. She clearly knew how to put on a great show, and that’s where her fans probably want to see her. While it’s nice to try to stretch your wings a little, acting is not her forte. My cat and I gave a more convincing performance of infatuation last night when we wrestled over the last bit of a ham sandwich. Brit, we’re routing for you. Keep up the good work, do great things from here on out – just stay away from television.

Here are some clips from Brit’s performance last night.

This photo is from yesterday, thanks to Splash. The pregnant-looking photo is on X17’s website
Despite hitting the gym near-constantly, Britney has a little belly, which from some angles looks suspiciously like a pregnancy. The Daily Mail reported this earlier in the week, and I was hoping it was another one of those false alarms caused by a smidgeon of bloat. X17 has some new photos of Brit though and they’re pretty worrying. Britney does look pregnant. I hope she’s not, though, for multiple obvious reasons along with the fact that she’s smoking a cigarette in those pictures.

Some commentors on X17’s site accuse the agency of photoshopping the pictures in order to increase traffic, and it’s possible. Others say that the psychiatric medication Britney is on can cause bloating, which may be what we’re seeing here. You hope that just when she’s getting her life together she won’t go and have another baby, but you also kind of know that she’s not one to take precautions or think much beyond the moment. We’ll just have to wait and see. It wouldn’t be the first false pregnancy alarm for Britney.

We’ll have the clips of Britney’s appearance on “How I Met Your Mother” last night coming up shortly.

Britney Spears is back for a second time on the CBS show How I Met Your Mother. Her first appearance on March 24 in a cameo as the secretary to a dermatologist earned the show its highest ratings ever, so it makes sense that they would ask her back. Her episode will air Monday May 12.

Neil Patrick Harris, who plays Barney on the show, hinted at a potential conflict on set about whether to bring Britney on again. He said in April that “I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed… I just am a real fan of our content. I think we have a great show going, and I hope it’s not screwed up by the desire for 700,000 more viewers.” He later clarified and retracted that statement, most likely after a tense conversation with his employers:

Britney did a great job on the show. She really did. In fact, we are all hoping that she returns rather soon to reprise her role as Abby. Look, that episode garnered our highest ratings of the season — I would never ignore or disrespect that fact. I am just very protective of our show, and its content. I have a high standard of quality, and hope to maintain it on every level. Television is big business, I understand that. I have great faith in our casting department, as well as [Twentieth Century Fox Television] and CBS, to find the appropriate person for every role on our show. I was remiss in speculating otherwise. My job description is to act, and I should really do just that. Britney Spears fits into our make-believe world very well — if she chose to return I can only imagine that Carter [Bays], Craig [Thomas], and the rest of the writers would create a humdinger of a storyline for her. We should be so lucky.

[via Hecklerspray]

Someone got in trouble with some bigwigs at CBS for speaking his mind. The Associated Press originally stood by their article and said “Harris told us unequivocally that he did not believe that Britney should be on the show,” but then they issued a “clarification” and said “Harris did not say that he opposed a return engagement for Spears, and our lead said that he did.”

Either way, Britney is back and looking normal. She’s an adequate comedy actress and it’s not bad stunt casting. In his original anti-stunt casting statement, Harris said “I worry that if they start `Will and Grace-ing’ us too much, that the show will suffer.” Or maybe it will get more attention than it ever has, but all attention is not necessarily good as Harris is likely to argue, especially when Britney is involved.

There was some confusion yesterday over how much additional visitation Britney was granted with her two boys, Sean Preston, two and 1/2, and Jayden James, one and 1/2. Some reports had her being granted overnight visits after a positive court hearing, but OK! Magazine clarifies that it hasn’t happened yet. They have a source that says she’s been granted more supervised time on a trial basis to show the court that the boys are well adjusted and that they are handling the transition well. They say it’s not about how Britney behaves around them so much as how they’re coping with seeing her again:

Reports that the pop superstar will get overnight visits with her boys within the month, and that 50/50 custody with K-Fed is imminent are false, sources close to the case confirm to OK!.

“Britney will not get automatic overnights in the future,” the insider tells OK! exclusively. “Right now, the amount of time she gets for her day visits has been increased, but no overnights are planned.”

According to the source, more information is needed before the issue of overnight visits is even considered.

“The court needs to see how this first step goes for a significant amount of time,” explains the insider, adding that things won’t be able to move forward until after a review of this latest expansion. “It’s not about how well she does with the boys,” the source said, “But how well the boys do. That’s what it’s all about.”

[From OK! Magazine]

TMZ is more optimistic about Britney’s chances of regaining overnight privileges with the boys. They claim to have the specifics that she gets “three days of supervised visitation per week,” and that they have sources that say that “within a month” she’ll have overnight visitation.

The commissioner is said to have been “extremely impressed” by how much she’s changed and is taking this issue seriously. It seems to be a move in the right direction to let her see more of her children along with easing them into it so it’s not so much of a change to be with their mother.

Britney was controlled, drugged and abused by a man who weaseled himself into her life. She lost custody of her boys when Sam Lutfi was at the height of his influence over her, and he should be held criminally responsible for the way he abused her. I know those cases are difficult if not impossible to prove, but this guy needs to go jail. Britney has mental health issues and an arguable amount of personal responsibility for what happened - she is notoriously flaky and self-centered, but this is a guy who used to stalk her. He took over her finances, home, and life, and even bragged to her mother about how he would routinely drug her food. She flipped out in large part because she was over medicated against her will along with having a predisposition to mental illness. It’s just a shame that she wasn’t able to say no to the guy, probably because her family taught her to tow the line and work her ass off for them all her life.

Thanks to WENN for these photos of Britney outside the court yesterday and at a recording studio later last night.

Britney on 4/22/08, thanks to WENN
Britney Spears rented a mansion in Malibu starting in September of last year for $35,000 a month, and although she didn’t live in it she still left a ton of damage, according to sources quoted in the National Enquirer. The marble floors were scratched, countertops in the kitchen were damaged, and pretty much all the furniture was ruined, but what’s worse is that she left cigarettes, wine bottles and dog poo scattered around the house:

“The house was left a wreck,” revealed the insider. “Cigarette burns and cigarette butts were everywhere - and empty bottles of wine were strewed about the place.

“Most of the furniture was ruined with stains, tears or nicks. Other items, like an expensive vase in the kitchen and patio furniture were broken. The granite kitchen countertops were damaged as well. Rotting food was left in the refrigerator,” said the insider. “Spilled wine soiled the carpets and floors.”

The outside landscaping wasn’t kept up, either, and the pool turned green from lack of attention, added the insider.

“No one picked up after Britney’s dogs, and many ‘presents’ of dog poop were left behind for the owners.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 12, 2008]

The Enquirer notes that Britney only used the mansion as a party house and that after she was hospitalized in January she didn’t return there. Rent is paid until March and she’s waiting to hear how much she owes for the damages.

Maybe Sam Lutfi and his friends did a lot of damage to the house too, since Britney was hanging out with him at that time. She is said to not have a maid but maybe she could have hired a service to clean up the house and try to reduce some of the damages before she handed over to the owners. Given all the issues she was having at the time, it surely wasn’t on the top of her priority list.

Britney is said to have blown through a whopping $61 million last year, and now she’ll have to lay out some more cash to restore that mansion back to its original state.

Last week, we gave you the scoop on Britney Spears’ new fitness regime, a two-fold project aimed at getting the singer back into shape and getting her an endorsement deal with healthclub juggernaut Bally’s. Apparently, that regime also calls for Spears to wander the healthclub barefoot in nothing but a towel, just to make sure that somebody is paying attention. Because she wouldn’t want people to start thinking she’s, you know, getting better or anything.

Britney Spears gives onlookers a shock as she wanders into a hotel gym in nothing but a towel.

Thankfully, the Gimme More singer wasn’t having another chaotic episode - she was just relaxing after a grueling workout at a hotel spa in in Marina del Rey in California.

Britney, 26, spent a morning on the treadmill as she gets back in shape after a tough year that saw her separated from her sons and held in a psychiatric ward.

But it appears the star’s judgment may still be somewhat askew, as after her shower in the spa at a hotel, she wandered out to the gym in just a towel, giving gym-goers an eyeful as she helped herself to some cold water.

Later, she emerged fully-clothed from the changing rooms in a strapless black dress and brown cowboy boots clutching a bottle of water and her mobile phone.

[From The Daily Mail]

Before you go defending her with excuses like, “Hey, she was at the gym and took a shower- it’s totally normal to be in a towel,” take a look at the photos accompanying this story, which show that Britney is clearly walking around in the public area of the gym in a towel where everyone around her is fully clothed and looking very surprised. And in case you were wondering, yes, they were the Brown Cowboy Boots of Mental Illness. I won’t be convinced that Brit is truly leaving CuckooTown for good until those boots are gone. She has another pair which may have been retired that were even worse, but you can bet that when the Brown Boots of Mental Illness make an appearance, hijinks will surely ensue- and pictures will surely be taken.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Britney Spears is shown on 4/25/08 outside her vocal coach’s house. MSat definitely has a point about Britney and brown boots. If she gets another pink wig then we’re really in trouble.

Thanks to WENN for these photos.

The National Enquirer has details of the diet and fitness regime Britney’s on in an effort to lose 20 pounds and kick start her comeback, and I hope they have some of the details wrong it because it sounds grueling. Supposedly Britney’s newly re-hired manager, Larry Rudolph, put her on the program, and this would make sense because he is also the person who is said to be brokering the deal to have her represent Bally Total Fitness.

Here are the details:

• “Six small meals a day of specially prepared organic food - chicken, salads, vegetables and other low-fat fare.”
• Pampering treatments for encouragement and appearance such as facials, hair and skin care treatments
• Working out “with a trainer, three times a day, five days a week.”
• “She’s been ordered to do a staggering thousand stomach crunches a day on her own.”

[Details and quoted text from The National Enquirer, print edition, May 5, 2008]

A thousand stomach crunches and working out three times a day? That sounds excessive, and like something that could backfire because it’s too difficult. If you have attainable goals and a realistic schedule it’s easier to stick with. I hope they got it wrong and she works out three to five times a week or something. You can work out nearly every day, but you should alternate cardio with strength training to give your muscles a chance to recover. Three times a day sounds like it would really wear your body down.

The Enquirer quotes a source as saying “Larry doesn’t want her to be a joke when he restarts her career - and he wants her to look sexier than ever.” Maybe they should work her at an easier pace. It’s only been a a few months since she had that whole breakdown and she has a tendency to rebel when people force her to do things. Still, you wish her well and all. It’s just doesn’t seem like trying for a singing career again at this point would be the best move for her. It’s not like she knows how to do much else though.

Britney is shown leaving Bally Total Fitness on 4/23/08. She looks really happy and you can see that she’s lost weight.

Even if you’re not a fan of the current president, it’s an incredibly big honor to be invited to the White House Correspondents Gala. Even if you’re a really, really dumb person, you generally know this. But if you’re Heidi Montag – or worse, Spencer Pratt – you don’t care about any of that because you are much, much bigger than any stupid little gala. And she calls herself a republican.

Heidi was recently invited to attend the gala by MSNBC. I have no idea why. Several media outlets do invite celebrities – though normally ones that aren’t quite as D list as Montag. However Spencer Pratt got involved and started making all sorts of ridiculous demands for both him and Heidi – even though he wasn’t invited. And that, of course, was the death of another opportunity for Heidi Montag at the hands of Spencer Pratt.

President Bush will have to make do on Saturday without the company of Heidi Montag, star of MTV’s “The Hills.” The surgically enhanced blonde backed out of the White House Correspondents gala when she couldn’t get expenses paid for her Svengali-like boyfriend, Spencer Pratt.

MSNBC had invited Montag to be a guest at its table at the Washington Hilton. “Then Spencer got involved as her manager,” a source told Page Six. “He demanded first-class tickets for both him and Heidi - even though he wasn’t invited.” When the network balked, Pratt canceled Montag’s appearance, claiming, according to our source, “It wasn’t ‘A-listy’ enough.”

A rep for MSNBC denied the reality show star had ever been invited, saying, “We are not having, nor did we invite, any celebrities to sit at our table.” However, a rep for Montag and Pratt said, “There was a scheduling conflict so they couldn’t make it - but they always travel together.”

[From Page Six]

I would really love to see Spencer Pratt’s face when all of his demands get laughed at. I know it happens pretty often – because he never seems to be able to learn from his mistakes and understand that he’s an absolute nobody – but I would really love to see his reaction. Is it anger? Shock? Confusion? And how in the world does he justify the hatred and disgust the world feels for him?

Heidi Montag is pretty much a nobody too – but she had some vague, tiny chance of shooting up to the C list. Unfortunately she’s got that delusional boyfriend tagging along, and his bizarre and unearned sense of entitlement has ruined whatever shot Heidi ever had. Probably time to take off the bikini top and pimp out those “surgical enhancements” while you still have a shot Heidi.

Here’s Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt leaving STK restaurant on Tuesday. Images thanks to WENN.

The restraining order against Sam Lutfi, the svengali-like guy who controlled and verbally abused Britney Spears, bragging to her mother that he would mash up psychiatric drugs and mix them with her food, has been extended until July 31. People Magazine notes that it’s possible that the restraining order can be extended for years, essentially keeping Lutfi out of Britney’s life for the foreseeable future.

Last month one of Britney’s former assistants told In Touch a chilling tale of being contacted by Lutfi in early 2007 before he had made contact with the pop star. He grilled Britney’s assistant for a half hour, trying to figure out how to insert himself into Britney’s life. The woman got the creeps and left. She says that a few months after she stopped working for Britney she saw a picture online of Sam with Britney she “got a chill down [her] spine” because she found him “stalkerish” and did her best to keep him away from her employer.

It’s clear that Lutfi planned to gain access to Britney and her fortune, and took extreme advantage of under the guise of helping. Thank goodness her father is looking out for her now.

Britney has rehired her old manager Larry Rudolph and was seen at the recording studio and the gym yesterday. It might be a little soon for Britney to jump back into her career, but she has to keep busy and it could help her if she has her music to focus on now.

Britney’s father’s conservatorship lasts until July 31, and People Magazine reports that it is likely to be extended beyond that. The tabloids were ran stories last week about how Britney was drinking again, but it was wine with dinner and the tales seemed a bit overblown so I kind of shrugged and didn’t cover it. She deserves a little break whether she wants one or not.

Britney is shown outside a recording studio and Bally’s gym yesterday, where she had a private personal training session. Thanks to WENN.