Britney is planning to sue 8 different tabloids for reporting that her marriage is in trouble, but she’s not going to do it from the states, where celebrities are considered public personalities and are fair game by law - she’s filed suit in Ireland, where her chances of winning are much higher:

It doesn’t seem fair that celebrities can just file suit from England or Ireland in order to get around US libel laws, but major corporations avoid paying taxes by incorporating overseas. Exploiting tax and legal loopholes is just one of the ways that people hold onto their undeserved millions.

Here is Britney with Sean Preston and her mom and sister outside of Nobu. K-Fed was there, too, but is not pictured. There was supposedly a paparrazi fight as photographers jockied for pictures of the pregnant star. TMZ has a video of it, with people saying “back off” and swearing, but it doesn’t seem as exciting as they make it out to be. We were hoping for some punches and hair-pulling.

Pictures and tabloid story [via]

Everyone thought it was amazing how gorgeous a cleaned-up K-Fed looked when the pictures from his Item Magazine spread came out. He kind of looked like a used car salesman to me. (If you still think he’s cute, just check out these pictures of him lounging around the pool with his gut hanging out during his PR vacation with Britney.)

K-Fed is the new face of the Blue Marlin Clothing Company’s Five Star Vintage Clothing Line. Guess they don’t mind having their brand associated with a guy whose only claim to fame is fathering lots of children and starring in the cringe-worthy “Chaotic”.

Christina Aguilera has made another dig at Britney’s husband, K-Fed, saying that her husband is reliable and “isn’t trying to put out an album” or be in the spotlight:

Aguilera felt the need to bring everyone’s attention to the fact that Britney was not at the MTV Music Awards this year. She said something about wanting to chat with her, but she was really highlighting how hot she still is, while Britney has let herself go and is focusing on her role as a neglectful mother. Aguilera called Britney’s wedding to K-Fed two years ago “pathetic” at the time, and she was unfortunately right.

Some of these pictures of K-Fed’s Item Magazine shoot you’ve seen before, but many are new. If K-Fed can clean up, maybe Britney can, too.

Pictures [via]

Britney released a clip of a new song on her website called “Rebellion.” It looks like it was up briefly and was removed, because BreatheHeavy.com says it was the second update and was under her poem, but it’s no longer available.

The lyrics reveal the fact that she’s pissed off at the paparrazi and press and thinks that she can make a noun into a verb by repeating it a lot. On her site before the download link she wrote “This is for everyone who thinks they know me… I forgive you.”

Download a 50 second clip of Rebellion (mp3)

It’s got a wannabe hip-hop vibe and it’s pretty good.

You’re not selling your soul, Britney, just some crappy pictures that no one wants. It’s also clear that you’re pissed off at Kevin, because he’s slowly poisoning you. We get it.

You think you’re rebellion by dyeing your hair black, don’t you?

Lyrics and Britney mp3 from BreatheHeavy.com.

Britney Spears realized what a trashy loser people thought she was after her horrendous “Dateline” interview, in which she refused help from her publicists and didn’t even have a hairdresser or makeup artist help her get ready. The pregnant singer chewed gum the whole time and bawled her eyes out when questioned about the parparrazi. She seemed arrogant and defensive and looked cheap in a super-short outfit.

Once Britney heard how poorly the interview was received she tried to do damage control by having professional portraits done. She shopped the pictures around to gossip mags at the sky-high price of $200,000. Britney called the gossip rags “trash” in her interview, and they showed her who was the trashy one by refusing to buy the pictures.

The only magazine willing to carry Britney’s “classy” pictures and an interview was OK! Magazine - and they snatched them up at the bargain basement price of $5,000. When asked about the story and cheap photos, OK! said “Who doesn’t love a discount?”

Britney, you’re the discount. Get your ass in gear and get some media training.

Header photo from FadedYouth.

The trainwreck that is Britney Spears just hit another small child left wandering on the tracks by its bad mother. She went on national primetime television without consulting her publicist, got rid of Perry, the one good thing that’s happened to her since she busted a knee and hooked up with K-Fed, and dyed her trademark blonde hair black.

No one was with Britney when she made her typically ignorant and arrogant comments to Matt Lauer on “Dateline.” She brushed off her publicists, and didn’t have a stylist or makeup artist help her get ready. It was all too evident:

Britney probably popped into the local CVS to make her own decision to dye her hair this jet black color. Everyone thought it was a poor wig disguise at first, but now it’s clear that this is Britney’s own hair. (plus extensions.)

The poor girl must have thought she was trying to escape from the paparrazi “Fugitive” style, but she just managed to make herself a more interesting target.

Readers noted after seeing the pictures of Britney and Sean Preston riding around in a golf cart last week that the tot looked sunburned. Yesterday’s photographs show his red little face and head. Britney would say “stuff happens with kids,” but it doesn’t usually happen if you take a little time for precautions. Britney may make her own decisions, but they affect her child and she needs a lot of help.

Update: Britney is said to have turned down a $3.6 million deal to be the new face of Kleenex in a bid for the tissue company to cash in on her tearful down and out image. The source is some British rag, though, and it sounds like something that is completely fabricated.

Pictures [via]

Earlier in the week it was reported that Kevin wanted Britney to fire her gorgeous helpful bodyguard/manny, 28 year-old naval academy graduate, Perry Taylor. Britney may have followed his advice, because she was photographed out without Perry in a NY Mall yesterday.

Kevin would tell Britney to get rid of a guy that’s ten times more helpful than he is. He wants to control her and make sure she doesn’t leave his sorry ass. It looks like Perry’s fifteen minutes of fame, and his steady job, are over. Maybe if he did it half-assed like Kevin, Britney’s husband wouldn’t feel threatened by him and wouldn’t have asked her to fire him.

Britney and Kevin were said to have vacationed together at a resort in Miami this weekend, but the reality is that they avoided each other and stayed in separate houses at their resort.

Kevin has new gigs this week as the face of Blue Marlin clothing company and campaigning for a new Virgin Mobile charity “penny” drive. It’s really a publicity stunt for Virgin’s one-cent text messaging offer. Now that he’s getting his own “work” maybe he’ll get cocky enough about it to finally set Britney free.

Here are pictures of Kevin Federline at a Miami resort on 6/18, and 6/19. There are also pictures of Kevin signing the petition to keep the penny in circulation, and Britney shopping at a NY Mall on 6/21. Britney and Kevin are shown on the balcony at their Miami resort. Pictures [via] [via] [via]

The vacation is still on, but we’re back posting sooner than expected because it’s just not work to us to talk trash about celebrities.

In Britney’s Dateline Interview she comes off defensive, rude, and dumb. She’s even chewing gum, just like when she was announcing her pregnancy on Letterman! At one point she breaks down and cries when Lauer asks her “what do you think it will take to get the paparrazi to leave you alone?” While I feel sorry for her and don’t blame her for crying, she didn’t handle the first part of the questioning well at all.

She says of the incident where Child Protective Services visited her for Sean Perston’s high chair fall that “they didn’t have to come, the doctor there made them come because I didn’t bring my doctor there with me.” The doctor there made them come because her child was injured and they’re required by law to contact Children and Family Services. That’s idiotic to suggest the reason was because she didn’t bring another doctor. She seems not to understand that is how CPS works.

When asked by Lauer if she tripped on her pants during the near baby-drop fiasco, she says, “I think, uh, actually, I didn’t trip on anything, there was, a NY street, it was cobblestone… I think it was mixture of so many paparrazi and just how the road was all messed up, me just trying to get in the car.” The road was perfecly flat and paved and not cobblestone at all. I live in Europe where there are real cobblestone streets and people manage to walk around holding all sorts of shit without stumbling and falling.

No fucking mention of the highball glass she was carrying at the time, and no admission of even partial guilt or regret for the incident. She blows it off, saying “accidents happen” and using the ridiculous example of her brother’s multiple motorcycle accident at age 13 as a comparison. “Stuff happens with kids,” she explains. Britney, you fucking idiot, you have total responsibility for your baby’s safety and he’s not the same as an adolescent boy.

She says she was crying afterwards because people were trying to take her picture, not because she almost hurt Sean. She also cals a woman ignorant for trying to take her picture at the time. “Ignorant” is not an adjective Britney should introduce into a conversation.

“There will be plenty more oopses, I’m human.” Yes you are, and you’re richer than 99.99% of the world. You can fucking hire someone to help you talk to the press and act like you actually take responsibility for your actions and care about your infant son.

“You have to realize that we’re people, and we need privacy, and we need respect. Those are just things that you have to have as a human.” This is your job, Britney, figure it out. The paparrazi are terrible and all but you need to find a better way to cope.

She does seem to love Sean even though she won’t admit to any guilt or responsibility for his frequent safety mishaps.

Later in the interview she’s in her element when talking about her music and her work, and she explains her brief involvement with the Kabbalah cult well. She has a new clothing line for children coming out, called “Baby Soul Rock and Roll,” and she seems quite excited and happy about it.

While things seem to be looking up for her, she needs professional media coaching and she should never have done this interview.

Here is the relevant part of the interview:

This is part four in the series. Here are the earlier parts of Britney’s interview:

Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 1 of 4
Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 2 of 4
Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 3 of 4
Britney’s Dateline Interview Part 4 of 4 (shown above)

And here she is with a drink in one hand and Sean Preston on her lap on a golf cart in Hollywood on June 8th:
[via]

A satirical site called Postcards from the Pug Bus carried a pretty funny and mildly convincing article that proported that Britney told Matt Lauer in her upcoming interview that she’s going to give birth in Namibia just like Angelina. Postcards from the Pug Bus is like The Onion and makes up funny shit that kind of sounds true.

The article was picked up and run as a real story by China Daily, Playfuls, and even Toronto’s Fashion Monitor! It was then covered in I’m not Obsessed, The Dark Hat, and Best Week Ever Blog. I’m not Obsessed ran it with the title “This cannot be true,” and Best Week Ever could have known it was fake since they’ve run other stories from Pug Bus. (Thanks to WeSmirch for making this “research” extra easy.)

Britney would make a dumb-ass decision like that, and with yesterday’s news that she changed her baby on the floor of a Victoria’s Secret, it’s easy to believe.

The first half of the Pug Bus article contains real details about the interview that are already known. The quotes that follow about Namibia give away the fact that this is made up:

The China Daily and Playfuls articles contained all these improbable quotes, but the Fashion Monitor runs it without any quotes, making it seem like pure delicious fact.

There’s a new video of pregnant Britney at the beach that you can access at BreatheHeavy.com, where we also snagged the header image.

Britney changed little SP’s diaper at a Victoria’s Secret lingerie store. She didn’t try to be discreet by using one of the plushy ottomans in the dressing room and just plopped him down next the cash register. When she was done she handed the dirty diaper to the woman at the counter to throw away for her!

She could have changed his diaper in the car, a nearby bathroom, or in the dressing room, but instead she used the floor in a high traffic area of the store. How “country” of her.

Britney shocked diners at a restaurant in early March by changing Sean Preston’s diaper - right on the table in front of other guests trying to enjoy their meals.

Perry may be hot, but he’s a novice in the baby department and what Britney needs is an all-purpose baby coach to advise her on safety and etiquette issues. In other words - she needs some class!

She says the tabloids are too hard on her and that they’ve gone too far, but she continues to make deliberate dumb mistakes.

Here are screencaps from Britney’s interview with Matt Lauer, which airs in its entirety tonight on Dateline. Thanks to BreatheHeavy.com for these photos and the composite image above. They also have portions of Britney’s upcoming interview transcribed.

Maddona is pissed off at Britney because she showed some sense for once and rejected the money pit Kabbalah cult.

A few years ago I was dating this uber-hot but kind of slow guy. I had misgivings about him, but it was when I found out he was involved with Amway I realized I had to bolt.

Cult members are compelled to convert everyone they know. It’s the ultimate insult to tell them that you’re not interested in their “religion.”

Madonna tried to tie her fading star to Britney a few years ago, and was flattering herself by thinking she could mold the pop star in her own crazy image. Now Madonna may have a semblance of a career back while all Britney has is her very public misery, but at least Britney didn’t get sucked into a cult. Madonna thinks she has all the answers, but she leans on Kabbalah like a crutch while they get rich off her gullibility. Let’s hope Britney gets her life on track soon. There are no quick fixes to enlightenment, but standing up for yourself and finding your own way is a good start.