Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller may present a united front against his mentally challenged harpy of an ex wife, Denise Richards, but the National Enquirer claims to have insider information that the cracks have already started to appear in their marriage. Charlie calls his marriage to Brooke, his third, his “first real marriage.” His partner may have changed, but the negative dynamic he fosters in his relationships probably hasn’t.

According to the Enquirer, Charlie and Brooke fought most of the time on their honeymoon in Costa Rica and decided to cut the vacation short by five days. They supposedly locked heads over whether to start a family, and Charlie was so focused on his bitterness toward Denise that he was unable to relax and enjoy his honeymoon. It sounds like their relationship isn’t all that different from Charlie’s last marriage.

It was the honeymoon from hell for newlyweds Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller! The couple squabbled nonstop over starting a family and cut their two-week holiday at an exotic Costa Rican resort short, sources say…

“They bickered and argued and ended up coming home five days earlier than planned.” [says an insider]…

The two began butting heads over starting a family even before the plane touched down.

“Brooke wants kids and Charlie doesn’t,” the insider said. “As far as he’s concerned, the joys of parenting have been tinged with misery…

“And when they weren’t battling over the baby issue during their honeymoon, Charlie was complaining about Denise, instead of concentrating on Brooke.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 30, 2008]

The Enquirer says they contacted Charlie’s rep, who said they didn’t come home early from their vacation and that everything is fine between the couple. It wouldn’t be surprising if they were fighting given Charlie’s history. Although Brooke suffered a miscarriage right before the wedding, according to the Enquirer, Charlie was said to have been supportive but firm that he didn’t want to give it another chance with Brooke. You can’t blame him given all the crap he’s still going through with Denise, but that’s a huge issue for a new couple to argue about and if they don’t work it out there’s probably not a lot of hope for them.

Charlie and Denise Brooke are shown on their honeymoon on 6/2/08, thanks to Splash News.

Charlie Sheen and his new bride, Brooke Mueller, have a revealing interview in this week’s OK! Magazine to accompany the photos from their wedding. Some of the highlights include the predictably extensive comments about Charlie’s ex, Denise Richards, in which he says he’s not going to say her name, but he still manages to talk about her a lot. They also say they’re trying for a baby right away, but that Brooke isn’t pregnant.

Charlie touts the fact that he got his wedding suit from low-cost chain Men’s Warehouse, which has suits from around $200 to $600, because he’s had problems with designer suits falling apart and he loves their commercials. The bride wore a Reem Acra gown and a headdress made from twigs and woven white wildflowers, in keeping with the ceremony and reception’s “nature” theme. Her engagement ring is a whopping 11.64 carats, but she says she’s only going to wear her wedding band out. There were 68 guests at the non-denominational ceremony including Charlie’s parent’s his three brothers, his co-stars, Jon Cryer and Holland Taylor, and their friends Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart.

Charlie, why did you go to Men’s Wearhouse for your wedding suit?
I like their commercials a lot! I got tired of $3,000 suits falling apart in the middle of certain events. I didn’t wear a tux because they’re hot and they don’t breath.

Are you planning to start trying to have a baby right away.
Charlie: That’s the plan.
Brooke: There’s a rumor I’m pregnant, and I’m not.

How difficult was it hearing the comments your ex-wife Denise Richards made in the media on the eve of your wedding?
I’m so tired of talking about her and all her shenanigans. It is what it is. I don’t even care anymore. I’m going to take a stand to basically never utter her name publicly again, and I think if that’s known, it will put an end to some of this drama.

Have you watched her E! reality show?
No, and I won’t.

How do you both stay centered amid the craziness?
Brooke: The injustice of it makes me crazy, and it’s hard to handle. But Charlie’s a pro. He’s an amazing father, and to hear what she is saying is so difficult. I want to protecthim.
Charlie: I think it’s not accident that whatsherface chose this time to do what she did. It’s pretty obvious that Brooke and I, through our actions and union, are moving on with our lives. Perhaps somebody else should consider the same.

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, June 16, 2008]

Brooke and Charlie are probably obligated to talk about Denise by whatever large sum they received from OK! for exclusive rights to their wedding photos. You can’t help but think that fighting that harpie together helped unite them in a common cause and brought them closer together. Even though they say they’re moving on, you can definitely sense some triumph in their decision to get married and show a united front.

This week’s National Enquirer reports a sad rumor that Brooke suffered a miscarriage 10 weeks into a pregnancy just a week before their wedding. I hope that’s not true. They also say that Charlie wore a “black Pronto Uomo suit.” The most expensive Pronto Uomo suit on Men’s Wearhouse.com costs $500. It’s possible that Sheen was paid for an endorsement, but it sounds pretty genuine considering that he says he loves the commercials.

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are shown at the Chrysalis Butterfly Ball on 5/31/08, thanks to WENN.

Charlie Sheen seemed to be ready to stop all the angry, public bickering that went on between him and ex-wife Denise Richards over the last two weeks. Richards dredged it all up again in an attempt to promote her craptastic E! show, Denise Richards: It’s Complicated. And Charlie Sheen, being Charlie Sheen, took the bait too many times. But he’d stopped responding by last week, apparently focusing on better things – his Friday wedding to Brooke Mueller. The couple gave a long interview to OK! Magazine, and Charlie managed to slip in a few quick back door insults aimed at Denise.

On a beautiful spring day set against the backdrop of a sprawling Beverly Hills estate, Charlie Sheen and his lady-love Brooke Mueller said ‘I do’ in an intimate and romantic ceremony surrounded by family and close friends, and only OK! was there!

On May 30… Charlie,42, and Brooke,30, exchanged vows under a low hanging canopy in front of 68 guests including Sheen’s parents Janet and Martin Sheen, brothers Ramon and Emilio Estevez and three daughters Cassandra,23,(from his first marriage) Sam,4, and Lola,3.

Celebrity event designer Yifat Oren incorporated nature themes for the couple’s wedding theme and reception, using bowls of pears, oranges and chocolate-hued candles to adorn the dining tables. At one point a beaming Charlie grabbed the microphone and told guests, “I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Charlie Sheen. We did it, didn’t we?” Later a 14-piece rock band played as everyone danced at the groom’s request.

“I was telling a couple of friends last night that this feels like my first real marriage, Charlie confessed to OK!. “The first one was a show, the second one was a con, and this one is the real deal.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Ooooh, snap Denise Richards! Actually the former couple were so similar in their lowbrow behavior that the really seemed perfect for each other – even more so after they divorced and the rest of the world had to witness their constant spectacles. Charlie is now supposedly on decent (and quiet) terms with his first ex-wife Donna Peele, so it seems like that comment was more aimed at the brevity of their marriage, which lasted less than a year. But calling his second – and very public marriage – a con is quite the slap in the face.

Brooke has been widely rumored to be pregnant, which she denied in the OK! story. However the couple confirms that the next thing on their to do list is each other: they’re trying to get pregnant right away. Somehow Charlie Sheen having more kids to fight over just doesn’t strike me as a good idea.

Here’s Charlie and Brooke “soaking up their sun while enjoying a romantic honeymoon in Costa Rica,” yesterday, according to Splash. Images thanks to Splash.

Three and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen will marry his third wife, Brooke Mueller, in a ceremony at a secret location in LA tonight. The couple is keeping the location of their wedding ceremony and reception quiet in order to ensure that Charlie’s ex wife, Denise Richards, doesn’t show up or try to film it for her new E! reality show. Charlie and Denise have had a protracted custody battle along with a war of the words in the press.

The NY Daily News reports that Charlie and Brooke have been trying to have a child, and that it’s possible she’s already pregnant:

As her ex Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller prepare to walk down the aisle Friday night, friends of the bride-to-be tell us she may already be pregnant.

“They’ve been busy working on having a baby,” confides a pal. “They have been for a couple of months. It’d be great if they had a son, because Charlie already has three daughters.”

The “Two and a Half Men” star, 42, has a daughter, Cassandra, 23, by Paula Profit, and had Sam, 4, and Lola Rose, 3, with Richards.

Asked if they were trying to start a family, Sheen’s rep Stan Rosenfield told us: “That’s often what people do when they get married.”

The 60 or so people invited to the nuptials know only to wear evening attire and wait for a car to whisk them to a secret location in L.A.

“They had to tell Denise when it was, because they wanted the girls to come, but she doesn’t know where it’ll be,” says the source. “Who knows? She may even crash the event with a camera crew.”

[From The NY Daily News]

As for the he-said she-said with the “sperm donor” e-mail, in which Richards supposedly asked Sheen for some of the stuff to conceive another child after their split, the News claims to have a source who says that a computer expert verified that the e-mails were not doctored and that they came from Richard’s computer.

Good luck Charlie Sheen and new wife. And please don’t let us know the details if you ever get a divorce.

The battle between Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen wages on, with Sheen’s fiancée throwing her own opinion into the ring. Richards has recently decided to star in her own reality show for E!. It’s being produced by Ryan Seacrest, who assures audiences that Denise is utterly fascinating, if you can believe it. What, you can’t? Craziness. Richards comes across to most as an unbeatable combination of vapid and crazy. Just how the men like it, right? Though Charlie isn’t taking home any Einstein of the Year awards, it appears that he may legitimately be the less crazy of the pair – though there’s so much drama between the two that it’s hard to tell what’s what. Last month, Denise went to court to allow her to show her two young daughters Sam, 3, and Lola, 2, in her upcoming show. Charlie wouldn’t give permission, which is why she had to take the issue before a judge. Denise won, and now her two little daughters will have (what one can only assume is) the chaos of their everyday lives shown for all the world to see. Charlie’s fiancée, Brooke Mueller, told Us Weekly exactly what she thinks about the situation.

Charlie Sheen and his fiancee Brooke Mueller won’t be watching Denise Richards’ upcoming E! reality show.

“Charlie and I both think it’s exploitative and not good,” Mueller, 29, told Usmagazine.com at an Elle magazine gifting suite in L.A. yesterday. “But the judge ruled in her favor so there’s nothing we can do.”

(Sheen lost a January court battle to prevent their children, Sam, 3, and Lola, 2, from appearing on the show. Richards has assured Us, “I’m going to be respectful about how they’ll appear.”)

After making her comments, Mueller then asked an Us reporter to replay them on a tape recorder.

“Right that’s perfect,” she said, adding, “because what I really want to say …. Oooh!”

[From Us Magazine]

Somehow I just don’t trust Denise Richards. But I also don’t trust Charlie Sheen. It’s nearly impossible to pick the lesser of two evils here. It’s funny that Us chose to include that last portion about Mueller asking to hear her comments played back. I wonder if she said that because her comments were staged, or because she was afraid she’d be misquoted, or if she just wanted to hear how she sounded. It was a very odd thing to say, and makes me question her intent. Denise was videotaped by TMZ yesterday as she was leaving a grocery store. The cameraman asked her if Charlie would be on her show, to which she replied, “That’ll be a cold day in hell.” Something tells me relations won’t be thawing between these two for quite some time.

Here’s Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen at Planet Hollywood on November 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Denise Richards is a 36 year-old adult, not a teenager. She should be too old to be spreading rumors to make her ex’s fiancé jealous.

One story said she’d asked Charlie, after his engagement to another woman, to give her a third child.

This single mom who rises every day 5 a.m. (she and I spoke at that hour) said: “Never. I do not want another child. That was to make his girlfriend Brooke jealous, make her think I wanted to get back together. I’m a single mom. I do not want more children.”

Page Six

I believe you wouldn’t want more children, crazy lady. She might be able to cope with another baby if she didn’t have ten dogs. Ten dogs? Who walks them?

Denise has put her $3.9 million house on the market, and moved into a larger one in the same suburb of Hidden Hills, California. It’s a good thing she bought the new $4.6 million home - not many rental properties are available for pets.

Charlie Sheen is obviously trying very hard to keep his fiance Brooke Mueller happy while this nasty divorce goes on - he’s getting his tattoos removed. I’m guessing the first to go will be his ‘Denise’ tattoo. It doesn’t seem like something you could easily change to another word. Like Pamela changed her ‘Tommy’ tat to ‘Mommy’.

I’d actually be pretty inclined to keep my tattoos, even if they are starting to look lame on a man of Charlie’s age, just as a part of my life history. Then again, I could just keep some photos write down a few thoughts in a journal rather than drawing on myself. Besides, it really, really hurts when you get one. People who say it doesn’t are either fibbing or have a higher pain tolerance than I do.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Denise Richards is shown in a god awful dress at the H.E.R. Luau at The Playboy Mansion on 7/21/2007.

Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen, what do I think of you? I’m sure you’re hunkered down in your bed right now fretting over that very question, huh? Well I used to think you were a horny pervy mess who used Heidi Fleiss’s hookers way too much. Though that implies that there’s an acceptable amount of hookerage that’s okay, and that’s not really the case. But you took it to some legendary extremes. Then I felt kinda badly for you, because Denise Richards was sorta crazy and losing her mind while trying to use your kids to punish you. But then I heard some crazy messages you left for her, and it sounds like you have bigger issues than previously mentioned… and you were already looking quasi-insane. But now, here you are, getting your tattoos lasered off for your fiancée, and that’s pretty nice of you. So I’m left in a moral quandary, and I can’t really tell you where I stand. But I’ll keep you updated.

“What’s the difference between love and tattoos? Tattoos last forever. But Charlie Sheen hopes to change all that by promising to remove his 13 tattoos for fiancée Brooke Mueller, 30, who is apparently not a fan of her man’s ink. According to the New York Post’s Page Six, the once hard-partying actor doesn’t remember getting some of the tats, like the stingray on his left ankle or the dragon wearing glasses. A tat of a wooden sign nailed to his chest above his heart reads, ‘Back in 15 minutes.’

“‘That one was meant to be an ashtray but went horribly wrong,’ Sheen, 42, has said. ‘I can’t even remember the year I got it.’ The Two and a Half Men star is no stranger to tattoo removal. With the help of a laser, he’s already blasted off the ‘Denise’ tattoo he had inked on his left wrist in honor of ex-wife Denise Richards.”

[From Us Weekly]

I wish I wasn’t a crazily superstitious person, but I am. I don’t walk under ladders, open umbrellas inside, or throw fortunes from cookies away. That last one is a superstition I invented myself, but I totally think it’s true. And I’m pretty sure that there’s no quicker way to doom a relationship than to get someone’s name tattooed on your body. It’s just asking for failure. I once tried to convince a (now) ex-boyfriend to get Thumper the rabbit tattooed somewhere for me, and I’m pretty sure the reason our relationship lasted as long as it did is that he didn’t listen. Though I still think it’d be freaking cute, Charlie Sheen should totally get a Thumper tattoo. It’s this joyous mix of tough guy (hello, tattoo!) and sweet, cuddly guy (hello, foot pounding rabbit!). Just a thought. Put Brooke’s name on it somewhere and I’m sure she won’t mind a little bit. And it won’t doom their relationship at all. Because I think his prior history already takes care of that.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s Charlie Sheen at the CBS Summer Press Tour in July. He had “Denise” tattooed on his left wrist, so either his watch is just perfectly placed, or he’s been working on the tattoo removal for a while. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Every few weeks some new detail comes out in the Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards divorce that seems to swing my opinion toward the other party. While I thought that Richards was cruel and heartless for trying to deny Sheen overnight visits with his daughters Sam, 2, and Lola, 3, the e-mails he sent her that she brought up in her custody battle make him seem a lot less innocent in the matter.

While even if all this is true he doesn’t seem to pose a threat to his daughters, he still comes off as a jerk with a short temper and a mean streak. That’s what Richards surely wanted to convey to the world when she made his nasty e-mails to her public.

Sheen is said to have called Richards a “jobless pig” and to have told her to “go cry to [her] bald mother.” Richard’s mother is undergoing treatment for cancer so that’s particularly cruel:

GO cry to your bald mom, you [bleeping] loser,” Charlie Sheen wrote to Denise Richards in an e-mail the actress included in documents filed last week in L.A. Superior Court in the couple’s custody battle.

“You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [bleep] yourself sad jobless pig,” reads another.

“You are an evil piece of [bleep]. I can’t wait to tell the world what a piece of [bleep] you are. You don’t get a [bleeping] dime till this is resolved,” says a third e-mail.

Richards says in her court filing that she was particularly hurt by the one about her mother, who is undergoing chemotherapy treatments for cancer.

Pictures of Sheen’s “erect penis” that Richards says he used for his profile on sex sites are also included, which Richards claims he e-mailed to “approximately 30 women.”

“I’d love to give it to you any time,” Sheen wrote to one woman under the screen name “mrjonze55.”

Richards says Sheen even visited gay pornography sites - “which I found even more disturbing because I felt that the boys looked underage,” the documents state.

Richards accuses Sheen of punching the headboard of their bed once in a rage, and telling her that by no longer breast-feeding, she was causing their daughter, Sam, to “become retarded.”

[NY Post]

A lot of women bring up their husband’s interest in porn in divorce cases. Guys like porn, it’s just how they’re wired. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship and they’re not spending an inordinate amount of time on it or letting the kids see it, I don’t see the harm.

Still, if Sheen was e-mailing pictures of his dick around unsolicited that’s another thing. I doubt all these women consented to receiving the pictures, but if he was already separated or divorced from Richards and asked the other parties if they were open to receiving the pictures, that’s his business. I never got the appeal of pictures of naked guys with erections, but as long as he’s not doing it around his daughters or forcing it on unsuspecting women, who are we to judge his kinks?

The NY Post reminds us that Sheen apologized before these e-mails were leaked, saying “I have been responsible for some of the worst dialogue [sic] and venom-spewing behavior in the past few weeks that I can possibly recall, ever.”

He still seems like someone who honestly wants to see his daughters and doesn’t pose a threat to them. Richards is saying he’s into underage-”looking” porn, but if you look up porn online it’s hard to avoid the younger-looking women. (Which just seems sad and borderline criminal even if they’re over 18.)

It’s hard to imagine people being this nasty to each other when there are children involved, and I hope they can keep their mouths shut and try to get along for the sake of their daughters. Although they may be young now, the stuff Richards is making public will be available for their kids to look up as soon as they can type.

Here are pictures from the 2 and a Half Men 100th anniversary party yesterday. Charlie Sheen is shown with his fiance, Brooke Wolofsky.Thanks to PRPhotos.

The ‘Just Divorced’ sign is barely out of his car window, and Charlie Sheen is engaged to…er, some chick I’ve never heard of actually. Her name’s Brooke Mueller ands he’s a real estate investor. In New Zealand that’s code for unemployed but has a lot of cash, particularly when it’s someone else’s cash. Now she also has a $500,000 engagement ring.

Denise Richards has allegedly welcomed the idea, being nice to the future stepmother to her children.

I have my reservations about this marriage lasting. Here are ten reasons not to marry Charlie Sheen.

1. Shot his former girlfriend Kelly Preston. Sure, this was an accident and she only suffered minor injuries, but not unreasonably the relationship didn’t last very long after this.

2. His name is on Heidi Fleiss’ client list. Even if it was many years ago, antibiotics don’t cure everything!! He was with 27 of her girls, he admitted in court.

3. Marriage to Donna Peele only lasted a year, and this will be his third marriage coming.

4. Used to date adult film stars Heather Hunter and Ginger Lynn Allen. Admittedly not at the same time, but remember what I said about antibiotics? It applies to penicillin too.

5. In his last divorce Denise Richards stated that she feared for her safety, that Charlie was abusive, had a gambling addiction and visited prostitutes. He denies this, and is Denise Richards a reliable source of information?

6. He is Maxim’s no. 2 on their living legends of sex list. He has allegedly slept with 5,000 women, but came in second to an Italian hotel porter named Umberto Billo. The hotel porter had slept with 8,000 women, and was fired for being too tired to perform his hotel duties.

7. Charlie is a drug user and alcoholic, but clean and sober since 1998. Unless you believe Denise Richards, who claims that he’s addicted to prescription painkillers he bought on the internet. He did go to mega-trendy Promises rehab though.

9. You would need to watch Two And A Half Men during the marriage.

10. Daughter, Sam, was born during the production of Scary Movie 3. Since the movie’s initials are “SM,” he and wife Denise Richards wanted a name with those two letters in it. Strange?

Sources: Wikipedia, IMDB.

I’m sure you could find more dirt on poor Charlie, but I’m actually starting to feel a little sorry for him. In a stay-the-hell-away-from-my-daughter kind of way. Anyway, he’s getting married. Congratulations Charlie and Brooke.

Update by Celebitchy I was initially confused by this, because I thought this chick’s last name was Wolofsky. It turns out she goes by three names, Mueller, Wolofsky and Allen, at least according to iVillage’s Daily Blabber.

Picture of Charlie and Brooke is from June 3rd, thanks to SplashNews. Do you think she’s pregnant or just voluptuous?