Two weekends ago, Brooke Mueller was arrested and charged with assault and possession in Aspen, Colorado. Apparently, she was in jail overnight and then Charlie Sheen bailed her out. Since then, her delusional spokesman, Steve Honig (the same dude who represents Lindsay Lohan, coughcrackdealercough), has been making the rounds claiming that Brooke is just misunderstood and that the charges are bogus and everything is fine. Brooke’s family wanted to force her into rehab, but Brooke kept on partying, and then just in the past few days, she claimed that she was going to undergo rehab – as an outpatient. Like Charlie Sheen did, when he “rehabbed” at his own home. Brooke’s family weren’t happy about it, and then the Aspen DA chimed in, saying that there wasn’t going to be any deal, and the charges would not be dropped. Here’s Radar’s summary:

Brooke Mueller must appear in a Aspen, Colorado courtroom on Monday, December 19, for her arraignment in her felony cocaine possession case, and Chief Deputy District Attorney Arnold Mordkin tells RadarOnline.com that no deal has been reached in the case, and there certainly won’t be one made prior to the hearing on Monday.

Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife, was arrested for cocaine possession and assault, on December 2 after getting into an alleged brawl in a nightclub in Aspen with another woman.

“There is no deal on the table in the case at this time, and there won’t be one prior to Ms. Mueller’s arraignment on Monday. Nor will there be announced at the arraignment. Ms. Mueller is supposed to be here. She can enter a plea on Monday, or her attorney can continue the matter,” Mordkin tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Brooke’s rep, Steve Honig, released a statement Monday about Mueller’s decision to seek outpatient rehab treatment. “Recognizing past attempts at treatment have not been successful, Brooke has decided to take a different approach to deal with her addiction. Brooke will be participating in a program during the day and will be under expert supervision 24 hours a day, seven days a week. In addition, Brooke has requested to be tested on a daily basis for cocaine and other illegal substances so there is no doubt as to her commitment.

“Brooke will retain custody of her children, both of whom will continue to remain at her home and be cared for by Brooke and their longtime nanny. Charlie and Brooke’s family are all fully supportive of this decision and recognize the importance of maintaining the children’s normal routine.”

Brooke has battled a crack cocaine addiction for more than 10 years, and this will be at least the fifth time she has sought outpatient treatment. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Brooke’s family doesn’t believe her latest efforts to get sober will work.

“Brooke’s parents are not going to do an intervention because they’ve basically washed their hands of her,” a source close to the family exclusively told RadarOnline.com. “They’ve given her as much help/money/rehab as they can and they’re not going to do it anymore. They’re going to support her in this effort, but they’re not going to try and force her to do anything more.”

[From Radar]

So everyone was lining up against Brooke and it was becoming obvious that her crack shenanigans were not going to be overlooked anymore. I do think the final straw was that Brooke’s family was pulling away – from what I know, her family has pretty much been raising the twin boys, Max and Bob, and if Brooke had to look after them all by herself, those kids would be in a world of trouble. So Brooke did what all cracked-out hustlers do: she’s trying a new hustle. OF COURSE she’ll go into rehab. Sure!

Brooke Mueller has had a change of heart … and has checked herself in to a full-time rehab center … TMZ has learned.

Mueller’s rep, Steve Honig, tells TMZ, “After further reflection and consideration, Brooke has decided to remove herself from the media spotlight and has entered a long-term in-patient treatment center where she can focus on her recovery without distraction.”

“She has already arrived at the facility and, out of respect for her privacy, no further information will be released about her treatment. Brooke’s goal is to maintain her sobriety and she believes this is the best option to reach that goal.”

“Brooke will retain custody of the children, who will remain in their home and familiar surroundings and be under the care of their longtime nanny. Charlie and Brooke’s parents fully support her decision and everyone recognizes the importance of maintaining the children’s normal routine.”

Brooke had previously decided she would enter an outpatient rehab program to be with her kids — so much for that.

Update: Brooke was seen boarding a private jet in Los Angeles last night … presumably headed for her rehab center. Mueller was seen smiling and chatting with her entourage before getting on board. No word on where the rehab center is located.

[From TMZ]

It would nice to think that Brooke finally realizes that she needs to make her sobriety a priority for her children, and that this is her last chance as far as the law and her family are concerned. But I doubt that’s her thought process at all. She’s probably still thinking about scoring the next rock.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

On Friday, Brooke Mueller was arrested and charged with possession and assault in Aspen, Colorado. She was arrested in a club called Escobar, which is kind of perfect (and perfectly sketchy), and according to sources, she was held in jail for the rest of Friday night, but she got out on bail in the morning. Radar claims that it was Charlie Sheen who bailed her out. Because almost two years ago exactly, Charlie and Brooke were married, and getting hammered and doing drugs together in Aspen when Charlie decided to choke the hell out of Brooke and threaten to kill her. And now he’s bailing her out. Sigh…

Charlie Sheen stepped up to the plate and posted Brooke Mueller’s bail Saturday morning, a reliable source is telling RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Her own parents, who have been trying to help her stay sober and assist with child care, are said to be furious and wouldn’t come to her rescue this time. “They actually wanted to leave her in jail,” the source says.

As RadarOnline.com reported, Sheen’s ex-wife was arrested in Aspen early Saturday morning. She was busted on a felony charge of possession of cocaine with intent to distribute and a misdemeanor charge of assault.

She was released after posting an $11,000 bond, with her first court appearance scheduled for December 19.

“Brooke’s family is done with her, she has to get straight or she is going to die,” the source tell us.

RadarOnline.com has reached out to Sheen’s rep for comment but has not had a reply.

[From Radar]

Is this what rock-bottom looks like? When you’re arrested and charged with assault and your ex-husband, CHARLIE SHEEN, is the one who bails you out? No, you probably have further to go, right? Especially if you’re Brooke. Radar also reports that her doctors and her family want her to do an intensive nine-month rehab. YES. She should totally do that.

Brooke Mueller has been told by medical professionals and her family that she needs to enroll in an in-patient rehab facility for at least nine months, but Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife is refusing to go because she doesn’t want to be away from her twin sons, Bob and Max, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Sheen paid Mueller’s bail after she was arrested over the weekend in Aspen, and charged with felony drug possession, and a misdemeanor charge of assault. She was released after posting an $11,000 bond, with her first court appearance scheduled for December 19.

Brooke has battled an addiction to crack cocaine for most of her adult life, and has been told that she must enter a long term treatment facility, immediately. However, the mother of toddler sons, Bob and Max, is steadfastly refusing to go.

“Brooke has done rehab on her terms in the past. Thirty days isn’t enough for an addict like Brooke. Brooke is calling the shots, and not listening to her family, or medical professionals that are telling her she needs to be at an in-patient facility for at least nine months, and not as a day patient, as she has done in the past. Anything less than nine months is a disservice to Brooke, and frankly, is a total waste,” a source close to the situation tells us.

Mueller is “simply powerless to her addiction right now. It’s a disease and it’s very much in control of her right now. Brooke is the most amazing, caring woman, and mother, when she is sober. Brooke just can’t get in control of her disease, and if she doesn’t finally surrender to it, and listen to what her family, and medical professionals are telling her to do, she could die,” the insider says.

[From Radar]

“Brooke is the most amazing, caring woman, and mother, when she is sober.” But here’s an honest question: has Brooke been sober at all in the past, say, four years? There were rumors that Brooke was even using while pregnant with the twins, and that she was in and out of rehab during that time too. And since giving birth, she’s been looking more and more crackie. Also, I think it’s BS for Brooke to say that she doesn’t want to be away from her kids – from what I’ve seen and heard, Brooke only sees Bob and Max occasionally, and they’re being looked after by Brooke’s extended family. Sad. I wonder if Brooke has ever crossed paths with Lindsay Lohan? Who’s more crackie? I think Brooke might win that one.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

A few weeks ago, Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen (now divorced) appeared on Entertainment Tonight. The goal, I think, was trying to show the world that they were both doing well and raising their babies together. Unfortunately, they both seemed like they were blitzed out of their minds, Brooke even more than Charlie. Between the two of them, I’ve long suspected that Charlie is the one who is sober more often, and the one who can keep his junk together more consistently while high as a kite. Brooke just seemed like a total mess, like there is no point in her life where she is simply maintaining a veneer of “sobriety”. Anyway, my assumption was right. Brooke was just arrested in Aspen, Colorado for possession and assault.

Brooke Mueller was arrested while vacationing in Aspen, Colorado for felony cocaine possession with the intention to distribute early Saturday morning.

In a statement released by the Aspen Police Department, Charlie Sheen’s ex, 34, was also busted for a misdemeanor 3rd degree assault charge.

The mom of 2-year-old twin sons Bob and Max was released from Pitkin County Jail Saturday morning when she posted the $11,000 bond. Mueller has a District Court date of December 19.

On Christmas day in 2009, Sheen, 46, allegedly held a knife to Mueller’s throat and threatened to kill her. He later pled guilty on lesser charges and spent time in rehab, not jail. Since the incident, the two had lived apart, although their divorce wasn’t officially granted until this past May.

A source told Us Weekly in August that the parents have been “getting counseling and therapy [with] the boys” and Mueller, who has struggled with substance addiction, is “actually responding to treatment.”

[From Us Weekly]

According to Radar, everything went down at a series of clubs in Aspen. A woman came up to police officers at Belly Up Aspen, and the woman claimed that she’d been assaulted by Brooke. Officers found Brooke at Escobar, another nightclub and she was arrested and charged with “assault in the third degree (class one misdemeanor) and possession of cocaine with intent to distribute (class four felony).” And Radar’s source says, “How do you help someone like Brooke? Her parents even moved to Los Angeles to take care of her and help her take care of her kids, and that didn’t even help. With this latest development, her friends are beyond caring anymore.”

Even People Magazine’s sources admit that Brooke is a cokehead disaster too – all of these anonymous “sources” seem to have been sent out to do damage control, and it speaks volumes that People Magazine got one of harsher critiques of Brooke: “Brooke can’t stay sober on her own. Maybe this [arrest] will force her to go into a treatment center for a long stay. Thirty-day rehabs won’t work for her. Her family has been trying to get her to do this, now maybe the court will force her to get the help she needs! She has enough family to take care of the kids while she’s away.” But! Brooke’s rep, Steve Honig (the same rep as LINDSAY LOHAN for the love of God, THAT should tell you something) tells People Mag: “I think anyone who is truly a friend of Brooke’s would not be spending their time talking anonymously and behind her back to the media. I seriously question the validity of any comments made by these people alleging to be friends with Brooke.” Yeah, I think the anonymously-sourced quote comes from her family, and I feel bad for them. They probably are hoping that the legal system will help clean up this mess.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last night Charlie Sheen and his ex wife Brooke Mueller played happy families for Entertainment Tonight with their twin two and a half year-old boys, Bob and Max. Brooke was high as a freaking kite and could barely speak while Charlie was maintainin’ and acting somewhat normal, for him. I always find it amusing when people are totally wasted on TV and everyone around them is acting like there’s nothing wrong and seems to be ignoring the problem. That’s the appeal of Kim Richards on RHOBH, and Brooke Mueller is basically the same – slurry, barely functioning, and struggling to explain basic concepts. It would have been funny if these clowns didn’t have two little boys with them who think of them as parents. I guess there are always nannies and adult film star mistresses to serve as sober caregivers.

Here’s what Brooke and Charlie said, but to get the full effect you should watch the video on ET’s website. (Their segment is at 12:00 into this video.) Notice that when Brooke calls Charlie a good dad, she immediately starts talking about how he just bought her a house with a tennis court. She’s been in rehab umpteen times and it obviously hasn’t worked for her. Charlie is still pretty wasted too.

Charlie: These guys [Bob and Max] have nothing to do with whatever. It’s not their fault but they do deserve the benefit of two parents in their life.

We’re friends and we’re co-parents and that’s what we decided is the most important thing.

Brooke: Charlie and I are so blessed and fortunate to have such amazing kids, and that’s really the glue that holds our friendship and relationship together…

He’s an amazing father. He’s amazing with the kids ’cause he teaches them sports, plays baseball with them. In fact he just bought me a house, well for the boys, and it has huge tennis courts with lights and everything.

There’s a selfless nature about her and that’s the only way you can really be available for your children is to be compassionate and be selfless.

They go on about co-parenting, but I’m really just reporting this so that I can share these screengrabs of Brooke’s crazy face. Charlie was wasted too, but he hid it better. I think that Brooke and Charlie get along when they’re both really high on whatever. Again it would be funny if they didn’t have kids. I hope that Charlie’s ex Denise Richards steps in and tries to be an influence in Max and Bob’s lives. They need more sober adults around. Also, those boys are adorable.

Charlie is currently working on the film A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III . Brooke recently sold the home that she used to share with Charlie in Los Feliz that was left to her in the divorce.

All photos are screengrabs from Entertainment Tonight, where you can see this segment

Although the world will forever question Denise Richards’ powers of logic for ever marrying Charlie Sheen in the first place (a beautiful love story, really?), she’s shown some remarkable restraint throughout the rise and fall of the recent Warlock Sheen spectacle. Also, even though Sheen killed one of her dogs and branded her a dog thief, Denise still offered to take temporary custody of Charlie and Brooke Mueller’s twins while he was on tour and Brooke was busy smoking crack and heading to rehab yet again. So while Denise might not be the smartest cookie in the cooler, it seems that she does have a very strong maternal instinct. Now and although she already has two daughters (with Sheen) to raise, Denise has adopted a baby girl. Really!

Denise Richards is a mom — again!

The actress, 40, recently adopted a baby girl domestically, her rep confirms to Us Weekly. Richards named her daughter Eloise Joni after her mother, who lost her battle with cancer in 2007.

“Denise and Eloise’s big sisters couldn’t be happier and feel incredibly blessed,” the actress’ rep tells Us.

The Wild Things star has two daughters — Sam, 7, and Lola, 5 — from her previous marriage to Charlie Sheen.

[From Us Weekly]

One can only hope that Eloise enjoys being photographed more than her two older sisters do, right? Those poor girls always look miserable in front of the camera; and despite the fact that Denise doesn’t ever do much to hide the girls from the flashbulbs, she (otherwise) gives off all appearances of being a caring and devoted mother. However, I’m slightly puzzled by the fact that Denise can somehow afford to take on another mouth to feed because she’s not getting much acting work these days. Also, those support checks from Charlie may not last forever and will likely disappear one of these days, thanks to his big mouth getting him fired. Still, best of luck to Denise and her three daughters.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Brooke Mueller is back on whatever she was smoking before, crack if the stories are to be believed, and is now in rehab yet again. It’s at least her fourth time in treatment that we know of and she seems to alternate between doing drugs or staying in a sober facility so she won’t do drugs. Brooke’s relapse gave Charlie the opening to step in between gigs on his crazy tour and request full custody of his two year old twin sons with Brooke, Max and Bob. There was a hearing yesterday to determine custody, and both Brooke and Charlie showed up. The judge shot Charlie down and left custody as it was, with Brooke. The boys are staying with Brooke’s mom and family, and won’t be cared for by porn stars and nannies at hotels while Charlie does his little ranting act around the country.

The embattled former Two and a Half Men star lost his fight against his estranged wife Brooke Mueller for full custody of their two-year-old twin sons, Max and Bob.

According to a source, a judge in Los Angeles presiding over a closed door hearing just allowed Mueller to maintain primary legal and physical custody despite a well-publicized relapse in her crack cocaine addiction.

Despite appearing “unsteady on her feet” and “glassy-eyed” Mueller was all smiles as she left the Stanley Mosk Courthouse.

“No comment,” she told RadarOnline when asked if she was pleased with the decision.

A source says that while Mueller undergoes drug treatment at an undisclosed rehab facility, her mother, Palm Beach, Fla, socialite Moira Fiore, will provide primary care for the boys.

Sheen wasted no time getting back to his work commitments. The 45-year-old hightailed it out of court and straight onto a plane to Chicago where he is scheduled to continue with his Violent Torpedo of Truth tour.

Meanwhile, Bob and Max were oblivious to the hoopla surrounding their parents – enjoying a day at the park with their nanny, playing on the jungle gym and swinging in the swings.

[From Radar]

At least the kids are ok. The odds are stacked against them with those two addicts as parents, but Brooke’s family is doing what they can. There are plenty of other people in Max and Bob’s lives who want to help too. TMZ reports that Charlie’s other ex, the sober one Denise Richards, offered that she’d take the boys for a while.

TMZ also reported that the Mueller-Sheen custody hearing was closed to the public after someone brought up “questions of abuse.” I hope it wasn’t anything serious. Thank goodness custody wasn’t granted to Charlie. He couldn’t be bothered to properly care for one of Denise’s pugs, who died of malnutrition as a result. She told him he couldn’t bring the other dog with him on tour and he proceeded to verbally attack Denise for it.

Here’s Charlie in Toronto on 4-15, where he had a “bipolar awareness walk” of about 1.2 miles from his hotel to his gig at Massey Hall, I’m not kidding, that raised thousands. Good for him?

Brooke is shown on 3-27 outside a Lakers game. Credit: WENN.com

Shocking no one, Brooke Mueller is still an addict. It’s been pretty obvious to me the entire time Brooke was allegedly “clean” – it’s her crazy crack eyes, they betray her every time. So, as CB wrote last week, Brooke went on some kind of crack/coke binge and she was trying to pawn some of her junk for drug money. TMZ reported that they had “multiple sources” claiming that Brooke had officially “fallen off the wagon” on a cracked-out binge – although there was never any wagon. Brooke snorted it years ago. Charlie Sheen’s lawyers made a stink about how Brooke was required to take drug tests as part of their custody arrangement, and apparently Brooke refused. Refusing to take a mandatory drug test is the same as testing dirty, apparently.

So now TMZ reports that after Brooke’s latest week-long crack binge, she’s back in rehab. Charlie’s lawyers were prepared to go to court tomorrow to raise the issue, so Brooke’s rehab jaunt seems to be “preemptive”. Now Radar reports that since Brooke is back in rehab, Charlie Sheen will be seeking temporary custody of their babies. Ugh.

With their mother back in rehab, embattled TV star Charlie Sheen will be seeking temporary custody of his twin sons this week, sources exclusively tell RadarOnline. Mark Gross, Sheen’s attorney, is planning to notify Mueller’s lawyer on Monday that Sheen will ask a judge to give him the boys while Sheen’s soon-to-be-e-ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, is in rehab.

Mueller, 33, reportedly entered rehab over the weekend after a crack cocaine bender — a story first reported by RadarOnline last week. The first signs that something was wrong with Mueller was when she started making calls to friends to ask for drug-free urine.

Then came her trip to a pawnshop in crime-riddled Inglewood, Calif., and her visit with a street drug dealer who said she bought $150 worth of coke from him last Thursday. Then late Friday, Mueller refused to take a court mandated drug test at home.

Said a tipster in Sheen’s camp: “Charlie has had enough with her excuses, period. Brooke refused to take a random drug test. Charlie’s attorney will use that as evidence that the boys are better off with him than with Brooke.”

What is clear, however, is that Mueller and her attorney, Lori Howe, won’t give up the boys without a fight.

Brooke’s attorney is expected to argue that the boys are well cared for with the help of Brooke’s mom, Palm Beach, Fla., socialite Moira Fiore. Howe is expected to argue that Max and Bob haven’t seen much of their dad over the past months. The fired star of Two and A Half Men is currently on the road for his Torpedo of Truth show until May 3rd.

“The last place the twins should be is in a different hotel rooms every night. Toddlers need love, continuity, and stability. They have that with Brooke’s extended family in Los Angeles,” a source in Mueller’s camp said.

Calls to Mueller and Sheen’s attorney’s weren’t immediately returned.

[From Radar]

God, I feel so bad for those babies. I pretty much full-on hate Charlie Sheen now, and I think Brooke is disgusting, so I’m on Team Babies for this one. Even I could do a better job parenting those boys than Charlie or Brooke. Hell, even Britney Spears would do a better job. But it does sound like Brooke’s mom is handling the situation well – maybe Martin Sheen should get involved too.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

TMZ has video of Brooke Mueller, Charlie Sheen’s most recent ex, trying to sell a watch and a stereo for cash at a pawn shop. As they mention she makes $55,000 a month from Charlie in child support and got a divorce settlement that was at least $750,000. (The ‘multi-million’ settlement that TMZ mentions in that article is not accurate based on known details of her prenup.) Still, Brooke is a wealthy woman by most people’s standards but she’s trying to pawn off some stuff for cash.

Brooke wasn’t able to sell the watch or the stereo as she didn’t have ID. Most people are saying this points to her falling off the wagon again. You never can tell when Charlie is involved though. Maybe he’s not paying his child support. Or maybe he’s not paying his child support and Brooke needs money for drugs. Radar sums up this story, and they reveal that Brooke has been trying to get friends to give her some pee so she’ll pass a drug test (as if she has any friends with clean pee) and that she’s been dropped from that reality show with Paris Hilton. That’s got to hurt:

Thursday was the day from hell for Brooke Mueller, sitcom star Charlie Sheen’s soon-to-be-ex-wife.

It started with frantic calls to friends for drug-free urine, continued with a failed attempt to hock an expensive watch in a sleazy Inglewood pawn shop — and it ended with friends believing Mueller is hitting rock bottom.

A RadarOnline source said worried pals have been trying to reach the 33-year-old Mueller all day but have not been able to connect with her. The spy added that Mueller is believed to have attempted to pawn one of Sheen’s expensive time pieces – even though she gets $55,000 a month from the former Two and a Half Men actor.

Mueller’s habit over the past few months was to return calls from associates immediately. That stopped Wednesday.

Brooke Mueller ‘Pee-Gate’ Fallout: Charlie Sheen Could Seek Twins’ Full Custody

“Brooke seems depressed,” the friend said. “We’re worried for her safety.”

In addition to her pending divorce from Sheen, Mueller is said to be desperate to become famous. But her best chance at it — a starring role in a soon-to-be-premiered reality show with hotel heiress Paris Hilton — fizzled when most of her scenes were left on the cutting-room floor.

Another source told ROL that Mueller, who like Sheen has battled addictions to booze and drugs, is complaining of money trouble.

On Wednesday, Mueller missed a red carpet event in Hollywood. And she was dropped from Friday’s TV-trade presentation of The World According to Paris, Hilton’s new Oxygen network show.

[From Radar Online]

Brooke has gone to “outpatient” rehab several times, most recently in March after Charlie Sheen kicked her off a private jet when he was headed to the Bahamas with his other two girlfriends. (Here’s a happy photo of them all together before the falling out.) Brooke is probably back on the sauce yet again though and Charlie is making sure the press hears about it. I bet he’s hoping to get custody of his twin boys back so he can bring them with him on his crazy tour. No judge will allow that though, and for now at least they’re safe with Brooke’s mom. Those poor kids.

US Weekly is reporting that Charlie Sheen was invited to his twins’ second birthday party last weekend at Kathy Hilton’s estate. Earlier reports had his ex wives Brooke Mueller and Denise Richards deliberately keeping him away from birthday parties for the twins and for his seven year-old daughter, Sam. According to a source, Brooke really wanted Charlie to come to the twins’ party though, since she was filming her reality show with the Hiltons and also planned to sell the photos of Charlie showing up. He decided not to give her the satisfaction or cash money. This news is in an inset in a story in US about how Denise Richards is keeping her daughters far away from Charlie. They don’t quote Denise directly, but it’s implied that she’s their source.

Sheen was notably absent from another of his kids’ birthday parties on March 13. His other ex wife, Brooke Mueller, threw a fete for their 2 year-old twins, Bob and Max, at family friend Kathy Hilton’s pad in LA’s Bel Air. But in a twist for the woman who has a restraining order against the actor and was granted temporary physical and legal custody of the boys March 1, she begged him to come. “She said said she’d leave while he was there,” said a Sheen insider. Her motivation? Reportedly cash. The source reveals that Mueller, 33, sold photos of the party to a magazine and was set to receive more money if Sheen made an appearance, but it “seemed like a trap” to him because of the restraining order.

[From US Weekly, print edition, March 28, 2011]

In Touch reports this week from a source close to Brooke that he was a “no show” at the party, but that she didn’t want him there anyway. It sounded straight from bitter Brooke. Here’s what they report:

Title: Charlie’s a no-show at kids’ birthday. Charlie Sheen recently told In Touch that his kids “f’ing love me.” But the erratic star was nowhere to be seen at the second birthday party for Bob and Max, his twins with ex Brooke Mueller. Even though the warring couple have reportedly come to some kind of truce over the recent restraining order she had against him, a friend of Brooke’s says she didn’t want Charlie, 45, at the party, held at Paris Hilton’s parents’ house in LA. “There was a petting zoo and clowns, and the boys had a great time,” says an insider. “The only member of the Sheen family who was there was Charlie’s brother, Ramon Estevez. That was kind of sad.”

[From In Touch, print edition, March 28, 2011]

It sounds like Brooke wanted Charlie there and he didn’t show so she’s trying to save face. Of course they wanted him there, they’re filming a reality show and Brooke wanted to sell the pictures on top of that. Charlie makes for good ratings.

Meanwhile Charlie isn’t crying into his crack pipe over the loss of his job at Two and a Half Men. TMZ is reporting that he’ll bank around $7 million for his “Violent Torpedo of Truth” tour and that he’s signed a deal that nets him 85% of the profits plus money for merchandising and parties. The shows will consist of Charlie sitting in a chair ranting for about an hour and fifteen minutes.

Photo of Charlie and his “goddesses” from his Twitter. Photo of Brooke Mueller is from 3/5/11. Does she look sober at all? Credit: Fame

Charlie Sheen has two upcoming shows scheduled in his new “Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat is Not an Option” tour, for April 2 and 3 in Detroit and Chicago. (In an earlier story we reported that both gigs would be in Chicago and were scheduled for this past weekend. Apparently the dates have been changed or maybe the Ticketmaster site was incorrect at first.) It doesn’t matter if the dates are different than they were first announced, less than twenty minutes after the tickets went on sale, they were sold out. This is to be expected when a guy gets as much press for being as off the rails as Charlie is. He’s working his crazy meme and has a new website for the tour featuring a comic of Charlie as a superhero in a tiger costume, smoking a cigarette and shooting fire from his hands.

Charlie’s website also includes the announcement that $1 from each ticket will go to support victims of the devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan. He has a video up announcing the tour and it includes a genius new line that he hasn’t used yet “You all suffer from Sheenus envy.” He also looks better in the video and sounds more in control than he has in some time. I hope he’s truly getting sober, and that the manic fog he’s been under is starting to clear. With Charlie you never know, though.

Charlie’s ex wives aren’t taking their chances with letting the guy around their kids. Both Brooke Mueller and Denise Richards held birthday parties for Charlie’s children on Saturday, to neither of which Charlie was invited. Brooke’s twin boys with Charlie celebrated their second birthday from 12-2 in a lavish party at Kathy Hilton’s house that was likely filmed for Brooke and the Hilton’s new reality show. Denise’s daughter Sam had her seventh birthday party at a gymnastics studio from 2-4, which was timed not to overlap with the twins’ party. Charlie offered to have the party for Sam at his house, but of course Denise didn’t take him up on his offer.

As for the future of Charlie’s tour, E! reports that Madison Square Garden in New York City is eager to book him. I hope that’s just typical delusional thinking on Charlie’s part, but you never know. The guy was the highest paid star on television and now he’s the star that has had the biggest freak out on television. He gave us a very good taste of the crazy and now we have to pay for more.

Here are the Autotune the News guys, the Gregory Brothers who did the “Bed Intruder” song, doing Charlie. It seems kind of superfluous, like all they needed to do was cut a bunch of his interviews together. I’d rather hear him without the music on top.