Watch out, Victoria Beckham is going to inflict yet another overpriced clothing line on the public. Or what she would like to call ‘up scale’ dresses:

The singer turned designer revaled to industry bible WWD, during a recent interview about her new scent, Signature for Her, that she is currently working a new collection of sophisticated, high end dresses, that she intends to unveil in September during the international collections.

‘It will be something completely different from what I’ve ever done. I’m just putting it together at the moment, they will be very up scale dresses and likely to start at around $1,200 retail. I’m going to be using very expensive fabrics and finishes, lots of embroideries.’

Elle

Victoria already has a line of jeans that retails for upwards of $250 a pair, which she has been criticized for not promoting. They aren’t selling particularly well, probably because as Celebitchy pointed out, if you’re going to buy a pair of expensive jeans you would get a more recognizable brand.

I think the same would go for Victoria’s new fashion line. If I was going to lay down $1,200 on a dress I’d probably buy something from a real designer. Posh has said in the past that there is a ’stigma’ attached to being her, telling GMTV Britain that while she was a pop star and a footballer’s wife, she loves high fashion. I think this stigma is going to be attached to her clothes also.

While loving fashion may be a prerequisite to being a designer, I would have to say that it doesn’t actually make you qualified to design clothing.

Posh is shown at the CFDA Fashion Awards on 6/2/08. That’s not one of her designs. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Ellen Degeneres is launching a range of organic dog food, and you can eat it too!

She tells Parade magazine, “Ours (range) is all human grade. It’s all natural. And yes, you can eat it.”

“People love their animals so much so that they put little clothes on them and necklaces and booties and things like that. And if you love your animal, then you should feed them something that’s not dangerous for them. There’s a lot of poisonous stuff that they’re putting in a lot of that food, those by-products.”

KeyeTV

I don’t think that Ellen is actually suggesting that you should eat the food, just that you can if you want to. Or if you are ever caught in an emergency, like flooding or an earthquake, it’s good to know that it is safe to eat.

This follows Ellen’s previous issues with her adopted dog Iggy, where Ellen and partner Portia DeRossi adopted the dog and then gave it away, violating their agreement with the agency they took the dog from. Ellen cried about the new family losing custody of the pooch Iggy on her show, and got a huge amount of coverage for situation. Buying and promoting a dog food brand after that publicity is a great business move.

I might also suggest that it is a very subtle ‘up yours’ to the Mutts and Moms dog adoption agency, since she’s now used her infamous love of dogs to make money, while they have only received bad publicity.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi are shown at the Primetime Emmy Awards on 9/16/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Despite the fact that Kirstie Alley hasn’t yet lost the 75 pounds that she gained back in the past year, prompting Jenny Craig not to renew her contract as spokesperson, she has announced that she’s going to start her own “Weight Loss Brand” in 2009. Maybe she’s doing this to help motivate her to put her money where her mouth isn’t, and hopes that she’ll lose the weight and eventually be able to cash in on it. She’s got to make back some of that $5 million she gave to Scientology somehow:

The weight-loss field is wide open and not immune to new ideas and improved solutions for the fat problems that plague many of us Americans every day. I want to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride. I am especially passionate about seeing to it that our next generations are not struggling with the same weight issues that my generation has struggled with.

There was a time when America was not fat, and that was in our not-so-distant past. I’m confident that I can create something exciting and innovative: something that if all goes well, will help change a fat America back into a fit America and will offer this country the healthiest, yummiest, easiest and most effective weight-loss program on the market.

If not, I’ll see you at Central Casting.

Oh, but hey, don’t “Call Kirstie” just yet. You’ll be on hold too long. Call me next year.

[Kristie Alley’s statement on People.com]

A lot of you wondered that since the Scientologists are so good at solving everyone’s problems why they didn’t have their own weight loss solution. This obvious question seems to have occurred to them too, and now overweight victims can have their wallets emptied along with their minds. Maybe they’ll lose some weight too.

The Scientologists have front cult recruitment programs for detoxing 9/11 volunteers, for “rehabilitating” criminals, for getting addicts off drugs, and for running successful businesses. It’s only natural that they would have a weight loss front program too. It’s going to take a little while to develop, though, and for Alley to lose all that weight she put back on while she was battling her inner thetans. Several days in the sauna accompanied by blank-eyed minders feeding her nothing but vitamins ought to help get her back on track.

If this cult has anything to do with her new weight loss program, you’re better off spending $5 g to go to expensive all-inclusive weight loss spa for a week. It will be cheaper and ultimately much more rewarding, and you know ahead of time exactly how much it will cost.

Can it be possible that the British tabloids have got it wrong? Only yesterday we reported that Kylie Minogue was spotted with handsome ex-boyfriend Olivier Martinez, and speculation was rife that she had a new life plan, complete with marriage and babies. Now it seems that their un-named source was wrong! As we reported, Kylie and Ollie were meant to be together again, after a year apart, and planning “to start a family, to marry her and to settle down.”

But, Kylie today released her new range of linen for your home, and denied the reports at her launch. It seems a bit coincidental that the range came out the same week as the rumours - was it a clever ploy to get more publicity?

Minogue told the Press Association: “I had dinner with my ex-boyfriend and next thing I know there’s a debate about whether we’re having a family. “We didn’t even talk about that. As I’ve maintained, we’re friends.”

Press Association

I’m actually not surprised about this, and according to relationship advice gurus, it’s a bad idea.

Paula Hall, relationship psychotherapist for Relate, said, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong in going back to your ex as long as you have resolved the problems which caused the break-up in the first place.

“Some couples get to the point of a break-up before they realise what they really want and it gives them the motivation to resolve their problems.”

But she said people should not return to a former partner just to have a family. “To get back together purely to have a baby is not necessarily a good idea – it depends on your expectations for both the relationship and parenting.”

icWales

That’s probably not bad advice, considering the stress a baby places on everyone around it!

Can you believe that Kylie is releasing a range of goods for your home? You can now not only listen to Kylie, but smell like her, wear her undies and swimsuits, and sleep with her sheets. How does she have time to actually maintain a music career? It’s probably a good thing that Kylie isn’t having a baby, as she’d have no time to raise the little one. Although, a rage of tiny Kylie Baby clothes would be really cute…

The new range of linens include bedding, towels, cushions and curtains in luxury fabrics and covered in sequins, diamantes and semi-precious stones. It is called At Home With Kylie.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Kylie Minogue is shown at the launch of At Home With Kylie in London yesterday, thanks to PRPhotos.

I didn’t realize Punky Brewster was still around – I think I got her confused with the little girl from the Poltergeist movies – but it turns out she is, and is pregnant with her second child. Oh, and she’s totally hot. I hate her. In that good, jealous way. Soleil Moon Frye has opened a green children’s boutique called The Little Seed in L.A. I have a freakish admiration for the eco-friendly folks. I’m trying to learn to be better – I’ve switched from Kleenex to hankies, which I think saves about a tree a day, at the rate I get sinus infections. So I’m pretty sure I’m right up there with Soleil Moon Frye.

“‘It’s an opportunity to make the planet a little greener,’ Frye, 31, tells PEOPLE. ‘I haven’t slept at all these last few months. It’s probably a combination of pregnancy and opening this store. It’s so exciting.’

“The boutique, located in the hip enclave of Larchmont Village, carries green products, including sustainable furniture from Kalon Studios, organic toys from Zid Zid and non-toxic crayons and paints from Stockmeyer.

“‘I had such a hard time finding great organic and non-toxic items for my daughter,’ says Frye. ‘I wanted to create a place where parents can come and find products that are safe for their children, as well as good for the planet.’”

[From People]

Oh you do-gooders. You make me look so bad in comparison. You make my hankies seem so insignificant. No, I won’t go there. You can never take my hankies from me. Frye’s first daughter, who’s name is Poet (I’ll give you a minute to digest that) is crazy about the store and all the cool toys. Plus, she’s probably not going to get some crazy lead-based poison like all the other little kids whose parents bought years of tainted toys. So that’s always nice. I think gnawing on a melamine Big Bird did some serious damage to me back in the day.

“Her daughter’s favorite item? ‘Poet loves to paint and draw,’ says Frye about her two-year-old daughter with husband Jason Goldberg, 36. ‘As soon as she comes to the store, she grabs the crayons and starts a new art project.’ The actress, who founded the store with Paige Tolmach and Beth Birkett, reveals her second pregnancy hasn’t been easy. ‘The first trimester was rough,’ she says. ‘I don’t know why you call it morning sickness, because I was sick all day and night!’ Still, she adds: ‘I’m finally feeling good.’

“Frye says her daughter Poet is already bonding with the baby, due in the spring. ‘She talks to the belly all the time and tells the baby she loves it.’ Frye and Goldberg have decided not to find out the gender of their child, but they’ve already started talking about names. ‘Poet is such a unique name,’ she says about her daughter, whose full name is Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg. ‘And we have a family of crazy, wonderful names so we have a lot to live up to.’”

[From People]

I say you name the next kid Bob or Jane, depending on the sex. For that family, that probably would be a unique, weird name. And if nothing else, it’ll let the kid know from the get-go that you weren’t all that interested in them, so you don’t have to spend years neglecting them to figure it out. In fact, that’s the route Britney Spears should have gone. Would have saved her a lot of time of having to neglect the kids.

Someone decided to go for the cheap and campy image for Paris Hilton’s new perfume, Can Can. She says in a clip on ETOnline.com, below, that they were trying for the Moulin Rouge look in the ad, but she looks more like a 1990s Barbie complete with faux gold plastic stand. Paris is wearing a horrible fushia dress adorned with purple feathers and sports a straight wig with plain bangs across her forehead. A big ‘ol rhinestone star accents her hair.

At this point Paris Hilton’s fashion probably influences Mattel as much as they influenced her, but in this case you would have to say Barbie came first. Paris strikes me as the kind of woman who watched The Little Mermaid over and over again as a child and still aspires to be that type of sweet, soft spoken female stereotype. She never really understood the subtlety involved in fashion or feminine sexuality, and just kind of pours it on sweetly thick. That’s kind of how I imagine her new perfume must smell, all gooey and sickening.

We can’t help but notice that her new ad bears a striking resemblance to the I Love Lucy Barbie Collector doll, right down to the stand with the heart behind it.

What a song! Ten weeks at number one on the British charts, equal record with that annoying song from Four Weddings and a Funeral that my parents like. Probably because it was the last movie they saw in a cinema. Mum still thinks Hugh Grant is cute, she hasn’t seen any of his recent movies…

Anyway, Rihanna is going to launch a range of umbrellas to go with her song. Actually, I’m not sure they go together but someone obviously does. It makes total sense to sell umbrellas where the single is huge, in the UK, since it rains there. A lot.

The track became the longest-running UK number one in over ten years on Sunday (July 22nd) after claiming a tenth week at the top of the charts.

The singer has now teamed up with clothes company Totes to bring out her own collection.

The five brollies, which range in price from $16 to $50, come in range of different colours - the most expensive being the limited edition Rihanna 2 Color Satin Stick.

According to the Totes website, this was the brolly specially designed for Rihanna’s performance at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards.

DotMusic

Five umbrella designs are available, including the ones she had at the MTV awards. One is actually on sale! Hopefully there will be no audio/visual campaign, as I’m getting pretty tired of that song. Her new song kicks butt though.

So you have to be at least sixteen years old to try out for American Idol. But what if you really have the talent and you think you can make it?

Well the greedy marketing group known as FremantleMedia and Simon Fuller’s 19 Entertainment have decided to create a summer camp for those between the ages of 12-15.

Idol Camp will cost aspiring Kelly Clarksons and Clay Aikens $2,900 for a 10-day session, four of which will take place this summer at a private school in Massachusetts. Some attendees will be eligible for scholarships, however, so that a broader mix of backgrounds will be able to come together.

Wow, that’s great they’re only gouging those that can afford to be gouged. Even though you’re shelling out three grand for a little over a week’s worth of training, and you get to see celebrity guests, Idol contestants (William Hung, is that you?!) and other “important people”

…completing a session of Idol Camp does not guarantee a golden ticket to Hollywood or a spot on the inside track during tryouts.

So basically this is like any other performing arts dance/song camp. To justify the decision, Mark Brittain, head of Idol’s commercial division for 19 Entertainment says,

“Utilizing the power of the American Idol phenomenon, we can provide a truly one-of-a-kind experience.”

What he failed to mention was how much of a kickback he gets from the 700 kids each shelling out 2900 bucks for the camp.

Damn, so if you want to go to Idol Camp, you better get started on that Pet Walking Business and Lemonade Stand.

The owner of the Tarzana, California salon where Britney shaved her head comped her on the buzz cut, but hoped to cash in big by selling Britney’s leftover hair plus extensions, a 1/4 empty can of Red Bull she drank from and her old lighter on eBay. The auction has been removed, but they did promise the shit was ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC!!!! and said you can come pick it up yourself to see. They were overshooting quite a bit by asking for a million plus for the hair, which certainly would go for five figures to Golden Palace or something, but even six is pushing it:

!!!!BRITNEY SPEARS HAIR!!!!
(and extensions)
PLUS Her Redbull and Bic Lighter

You have heard the story on the news… No need to repeat it here.

This is the auction you have been waiting for. I am selling the hair as well as the 3/4 full can of Redbull she was drinking and her blue Bic Lighter. I am selling this on behalf of Esther and her family.

We are offering it for sale here at what we feel is a realistic price. This is a piece of history that can not be duplicated.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC. THIS IS NOT A SCAM. BUYER IS ENCOURAGED TO DO A LOCAL PICK UP IN TARZANA, CALIFORNIA AND MEET WITH ME AND ESTHER. ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC AND THIS IS THE ONLY REAL LISTING. I THINK THE PICTURES SAY IT ALL.

Payment is to be made by cash, money order or cashiers check ONLY. NO PAYPAL.

Due to the unique nature and high value of these items, buyer is to be responsible for any shipping arrangements. Local pick up is highly encouraged

You think she could throw in the clippers too if she was asking over a million.

Although there’s no mention of it in the now-defunct auction listing, an earlier story had salon owner Esther Tognozzi saying she’d donate an unspecified “portion” of the proceeds to the Britney Spears Foundation, which strives to use entertainment to make a difference in children’s lives.

Other than that “tragic thing” her producer mentioned, Britney may have had a more practical reason to shave her head. Word is that she was already well on her way to going bald naturally and had several bald patches on her scalp from repeated peroxide treatments. It’s not surprising considering how often she changed her hair color.

Salon owner Tognozzi said that after Britney buzzed her head she said “My mom is going to freak.” She also says she asked Britney if this was a new beginning for her, and she answered “something like that.”

While there are no current auction listings by the seller, presumed to be Tognozzi, they have changed their eBay id from cornorstore to buybritneyshair suggesting they might sell it off lock by lock for maximum profitability. Do you want some?

Pictures from eBay listing and Flynetonline.

In truly frightening news Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller are in talks to star in a Hardy Boys all grown up comedy Hardy Men. It all started when

Tom Cruise met with Ben Stiller about possibly starring Ben’s newest project Tropic Thunder, a film that mocks the Mission Impossible trilogy, but that Cruise won’t be involved with that project. The site also reports that Cruise sees the Stiller comedy as a way to remold his image after a string of bad publicity surrounding his odd behavior including jumping on couches and calling Matt Lauer glib.

Having recently finished impregnating (?) and re-sculpting Katie Holmes both outside and inside, nasally and spiritually, Cruise is busting a Betsy Ross on the tatters of his reputation.

The theory being that a comedy will make him both likable again and somehow imply that he’s in on the joke – rather than the personally trained butt of it.

When looking for a comedy project - clearly the Ben Stiller train is leaving every five minutes. Stiller’s manic over-production seems to turn major motion picture production into a weekly Sketch Comedy show. Something will be rolling out with a catch phrase and a basic parody concept no matter what day of the week it is. Mission Impossible parody not a good fit … no worries … he has baker’s dozen of half-conceived projects already in pre-production. This boy needs a lot of love from a lot of people all the time.

Lucky for Ben The Wayan Brother keep churning out their product — insuring the Hollywood bottom feeders rung is always occupied … sometimes your competition is the only thing that keeps you from coming in last.

Stills via Tenth Planet.net