Kevin Federline has been quoted talking about a magazine he and Britney plan on launching that will counter the gossip and fake news made up by the tabloids:

This sounds like one of those things you talk about with your spouse when you’ve had a few, like “Wouldn’t it be great if I started my own business?” and then they go and tell your friends about it when you haven’t really thought it through and didn’t want the news to come out.

I really doubt Britney and Kevin are clever enough to harness the talent to start a huge venture like this. Britney couldn’t even accept help getting prepared for a primetime TV interview, so this unlikely to happen.

Remember when Britney was said to be creating her own line of baby clothing and even took out a trademark for it? What happened with that?

She’s suing a bunch of tabloids from overseas in the hopes of getting some cash, so that’s probably where she got this half-baked idea.

I already published these pictures of Britney at Kevin’s Pure video shoot, but the only other recent pictures are blurry ones of Britney driving around talking on her cell phone, which seem too lame to post.

Ashton Kutcher will star in a romantic comedy loosely based on the 1975 Warren Beatty film Shampoo, in which he plays a florist:

Kutcher and his partner Kevin Bisch came up with the idea for the film, which they sold to Columbia pictures for a reported $1.5 million.

Here is Kutcher at Dodger stadium for a Dodger Angels baseball game on 5/21. He’s looking rather rough, but maybe the thought of playing a florist lead him to grow a beard to assert his masculinity.

A lot of people like Gwen Stefani, and it’s nice that she’s pregnant and married. I can’t stand her, although I do publish pictures of her and haven’t said anything about it yet. She hired a bunch of American-born Asian women to follow her around and act like they enjoy behaving like Japanese kept women. Their contract even stipulated that they couldn’t talk. Gwen may want to capitalize on the harijaku culture, but what she did is like having minstrels accompany her because she thinks African culture is cool.

Her new line of baby shoes is ridiculous. The designs are aimed at urban minorties who are more style-conscious in general, and statistically have less money. A pair of baby shoes from Gwen’s line costs $50 a pair. Babies don’t really need shoes until they can walk, but the sizes only come in sizes 0-3. My kid was a siize 5 by the time he could walk.

So Gwen’s new line of baby shoes, which she has called “so cute,” are expensive accessories meant for babies who don’t even need them.

There are people from all walks of life who want to buy expensive shit for their children. My cousin, for instance, has money and spends it on baby items that are obsolete within a couple of months. These shoes are aimed at style-conscious urban mothers who often can’t afford it. Is it Gwen Stefani’s fault that people buy crap they can’t afford and don’t need? No, but she’s catering to it. These shoes are undoubtedly manufactured overseas in sweatshop-like conditions, and could surely have a lower price. (If you have evidence that this is not true, please send a link, because I looked around.) Is Gwen the only designer guilty of this? Of course not. If the damn shoes are so expensive, though, they could at least be made in the US.

Back to our regularly scheduled escapism. Here are the shoes and Gwen herself, who just had an second over the top baby shower attended by other celebrities like Christina Aguilera.

Gwen is due to have her first baby with fellow rocker Gavin Rossdale in June.

Baby shower pictures via Just Jared, and thanks to nxdstar7 on the JJB Board for pointing these shoes out.

Charlie Sheen is involved in an incredibly stupid business venture: he launched a line of children’s clothing this weekend!

Unfortunately for Sheen, the clothing line was in the works from some time, and announced over two months ago. The launch couldn’t come at a worse time for him, because the allegations in his wife’s divorce deposition are explosive.

The divorce statement from Denise Richards acquired by The Smoking Gun is pretty incredible and well worth the time to read. Richards says that Sheen:

Tara Reid has lamented the fact that people don’t take her seriously as an actress after she’s photographed stumbling all over town in various states of undress. Well it looks like her prayers have been answered and she no longer has to resort to swiping swag, because her brother has created a role custom made for her as the girlfriend of a professional bowler.

A source at ONTD reports that producers were looking for unpaid extras. If they can’t even afford to pay a paltry sum to the poor extras, what’s the film going to look like? It’s gonna suck…

Here’s Tara rocking the early 90s makeup with a friend outside of Cafe Med. This guy is probably gay, as you can see in these earlier pictures of him with the party girl.

Pictures [via]

Sienna Miller got hair extensions put in while she was in NY this week. She looks much more feminine with a return to her long hair, but her tresses are looking ratty and used already, much like the actress herself.

Miller just signed a $4 million contract to become the new face of Pepe Jeans. Currently the news is only available in papers from India, so we’re not sure if the ad campaign is limited to India or if it will be seen worldwide. With that much money changing hands, it’s probably global:

Here is Sienna in NY on April 6th and a second set of photographs of her visit to the hairdresser.

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Four more pictures after the jump.

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Paris Hilton has overcome her fear of foreign languages and insists that she’s still with Greek oil heir Stavros Niarchos III.

Paris must be waiting eagerly for Niarchos’ birthday. He stands to inherit $275 million when he turns 21. Paris is only expected to get a mere $50 million for her inheritance.

Hilton and Niarchos were last photographed together about a week ago.

Paris shouldn’t be so concerned about money. She’s signed up to add her name to a line of sunglasses to join the watches, handbags, leather goods, and cosmetics under the Paris Hilton label. [via]

Pictures [via]

We’ve read two different reports that Brad Pitt is buying real estate. One seems somewhat legitimate and the other sounds like complete BS.

Jennifer Garner is set to take it all off in a new erotic thriller. Her production company, Vandalia Films, is creating the picture, titled “Sabbatical,” which will have a missing person plot with a twist:

In these pictures taken of Garner shopping in Santa Monica yesterday, she looks like she has slimmed down in preparation to go back to work. She has said that she is losing weight slowly instead of going on a radical diet in order to make sure that she and her nursing baby Violet, almost four months, are healthy.

Pictures [via] and [via]

Update: Four additional pictures of Garner shopping in Brentwood without sunglasses. She looks great. More pictures after the jump.

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Pink plans to open a chain of strip clubs – and wants to dance in them herself!

Pink trained to be a pole dancer for her latest erotic-themed show and flew in strippers from LA to perform on stage with her. We reported that she was planning to do a little pre-show stripping for her new husband, Carey Hart, while they were in London two days ago.

Female-owned strip clubs can be just as successful and sexy, and may offer a better work culture for dancers. Jenna Jameson owns a club in Arizona that has done well, although it’s now facing legal challenges from the community. Pink should stay behind the scenes though and leave the work to the professionals for the sake of her marriage and her business.

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Three more pictures after the jump.

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