Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have had another lover’s tiff. This time it’s over one of Lindsay’s former boyfriends – something that’s been a long-standing issue between the pair. According to rumors, Samantha gets excessively jealous whenever an old flame is around. This could be because she doesn’t like reminders that Lindsay used to be with guys, or because she flat out doesn’t like the thought of her girlfriend having been with anyone else. Most of us are no strangers to the latter.

Lindsay and Samantha were at a London club when legendary British playboy (and Lohan ex) Calum Best showed up. And then drama and chaos ensued.

Head in her hands, a glum faced Lindsay Lohan looked like the string of late nights were finally getting to her last night. The actress was left sitting alone in her limousine after an apparent lover’s tiff with girlfriend Sam Ronson. Perhaps the sour mood between the two was caused by the surprise appearance of Lindsay’s former lover Calum Best.

The model turned up in London club Boujis, bumping into his ex-lover for the second time since she arrived in the UK a week ago. His appearance may not have gone down well as Ronson is said to get jealous of Lindsay’s former male lovers.

Lindsay went to the couple’s limousine at 3.45am, but was left waiting for Sam for ten minutes. When they arrived back at their hotel onlookers said British girl Sam stormed out of their Maybach limousine and went inside, leaving Lindsay sitting alone.

Earlier in the evening Sam had hit the decks at another London club - Mahiki. Meanwhile back at Boujis model Best left with some friends and a mystery blonde. Last week he made a surprise appearance at Chinawhite but Lindsay was having none of it, and did her best to avoid him all night. An insider said: ‘Lindsay was horrified when she found out Calum was there and refused to talk to him. Samantha gets jealous of her former male lovers, and Lindsay didn’t want to upset her.’

[From the Daily Mail]

It doesn’t sound like Lindsay did anything wrong. Wow, there’s a sentence I’ve never said. Normally you can clearly list all the mistakes Lohan has made on any given day. But it seems like the big problem was that Calum Best still exists and is prone to go places. Can’t really blame Lohan for that.

It’s definitely awkward running into an ex, and it doesn’t sound like they’re on friendly terms. But it’s pretty clear Lindsay generally stayed away from him – it’s not like Samantha caught them making out in the bathroom or anything. Presumably. The whole thing sounds sort of overblown. Lindsay loves her drama though, and when she’s in a fairly stable relationship she’s got to take what she can get.

Here’s Lindsay and Sam out in London last night. The happy pictures are from the beginning of the evening, and the cranky pictures are from the end of the night. Images thanks to WENN and Bauer-Griffin.

If Lindsay Lohan were an average girl instead of a notorious paparazzi and gossip courter, I’d speculate that all the discussion about her sexual orientation must really be grating on her nerves. But alas, since she is Lindsay Lohan and thus attention is her oxygen, I’m guessing she gets off on it. A lot. Now Lindsay’s ex-boyfriend “British bad boy” Calum Best (I never hear him described as anything other than a “British bad boy”) says that he probably turned Lindsay gay.

Regardless of your particular opinions on the nature of sexual orientation, I believe that if any man could turn a woman gay, it’s Calum Best. Second to that would be Wilmer Valderrama. In fact I’m pretty sure that both those guys turn you into the opposite of whatever you are. It’s the result of a natural (yet extreme) aversion to men like them. If you were a human, you become a cricket. If you were a man, you become a woman. If you used to be opaque, you are now translucent. These are not exactly radical theories here.

Thus I find it absolutely possible – and highly likely – that if anyone did “turn” Lindsay gay, it’d be Calum Best.

Calum Best has confessed he turned Lindsay Lohan into a lesbian.

He said: “I think I turned her.”

The ladies’ man, who clearly picked up his skills from legendary lothario dad George Best, dated Li-Lo for a short time in May 2007 when the pair were pictured getting up close and personal on a beach in the Bahamas, but they soon went their separate ways.

Speaking at the BT Digital Music Awards, Calum revealed he has no hard feelings towards Lohan and wishes her and DJ lover Sam Ronson well. He also commented on the press attention she attracts and said although she courts press attention sometimes, he pities her for the intrusion.

“I think good on her. I think she’s really cool, I got nothing bad to say about her and hope for the best for her,” he said. “Those poor girls like Britney and that lot, they’re so stuck in the public eye. Those girls have got people following them around from eight in the morning till eight at night… Sometimes they milk it and sometimes they like it, but overall the girl can’t do something without anybody talking about it… So, if she likes girls, she likes girls. I’m happy for her.”

[From the Mirror]

Well you can’t tell just from that quotation, but the guy’s a total douche bag. I love how he talks about how hard things are for Britney in terms of paparazzi, but says it in this way implying that Lindsay doesn’t go through that. Clearly the guy’s either naive or stupid – could he really think the paps leave Britney alone come about 8:02 in the evening? After that she promptly goes home where she drinks a tall glass of warm milk and falls asleep snuggled in the arms of a Saint Bernard.

Actually considering the bizarre stories you hear about celebs, that wouldn’t be the most impossible thing ever. A year ago if you’d told me someone could turn Lindsay Lohan gay, I would have told you THAT was the most impossible thing ever. Now I doubt everything else.

Here’s Lohan and Best back when they were together in November 2006. Images thanks to WENN.

You know that good old sex math they used to teach you in the nineties about how every time you sleep with someone you’re sleeping with everyone they’ve ever slept with, and everyone all those people have ever slept with and on and on? That kind of wandering math can really lead your mind down some creepy paths, like, “So did I really just sleep with my second grade teacher?” Or worse. Yeah, gross right. Now imagine you’ve just slept with Lindsay Lohan. I cannot even fathom how long that calculation could extend. Because not only is Lindsay pretty damn skanky herself, but it’s not like she’s hooking up with bunch of really reputable people either.

And here’s where the STD math gets really grotesque. One of Lohan’s more recent exes, British playboy Calum Best, says he’s slept with so many bazillion women that he can’t even accurately round it to the nearest hundred.

Calum Best admits he’s lived a life of debauchery for quite some time. The playboy’s notched up so many one-night stands, he doesn’t even know to the nearest 100 how many girls he’s slept with. ‘I certainly have mad crazy commitment issues,’ he says.

Calum, 27, has been linked to a string of A - Z list celebrities, including Lindsay Lohan, Girls Aloud’s Sarah Harding, Abi Titmuss, Jodie Marsh and Rebecca Loos. But not one of them has won the reality TV star’s heart.

‘I’ve never told anyone I love them. Because I never do,’ Calum tells Observer Woman. ‘I’ll be into someone and then, two weeks down the line I’ll be looking at her mate thinking: you’re hot! Looking over her shoulder thinking: I like you!’

Despite his wandering eye, Calum must quit all sexual activity for TV show Totally Calum Best. See how he’s getting on each Sunday at 10pm on MTV One.

[From Now Magazine]

I haven’t heard of this show until just now, but something tells me it’s going to be one hell of a massive failed experiement.

So let’s say that once that math extends outwards five times, Calum Best slept with (or scary math slept with) 10,000 people. (By the way I’m not claiming that number is anywhere even close to right, but let’s stick to easy round amounts for the sake of scaring ourselves shitless). Then he hooked up with Lindsay Lohan, who had scary math slept with 3,000. When you do all the math, doesn’t that mean it’s almost statistically impossible for the two of them not to be harboring at least nine previously unknown STDs?

If nothing else they were probably a good match for each other. I’m just afraid two people with that kind of history could result in new drug-resistant forms of STDs. Like MRSA, but for your crotch.

Here are some older pictures of Lohan when she and Best were dating.

It must suck to date Lindsay Lohan. Aside from the obvious reasons, which we won’t even get in to. No one likes to think about their current partner’s past. In fact we all know it’s polite behavior to generally assume they never loved, liked, or kissed anyone until you came along. Then all of a sudden it was like a rush of hormones and they discovered all these previously unknown emotions.

But that’s pretty damn hard when three quarters of Hollywood knows exactly how many freckles your lady love has on her lady bits. Thus the dilemma of being Samantha Ronson. While dating Lohan has some obvious advantages – including increased career exposure for the deejay – as someone who does the music at the very best parties, the odds of running into some guy that Lindsay use to… well… [insert various filthy act here ______]… are pretty damn high. And several previous lovers all came together to make Ronson and Lohan feel damn uncomfortable at a party recently.

Talk about awkward: Lindsay Lohan was celebrating the grand opening of West Hollywood club Apple Lounge with Samantha Ronson on August 14 when she ran into two ex-boyfriends - and an ex-girlfriend! “Lindsay chatted with her ex Harry Morton for a few minutes,” a witness explains about the first encounter. “Sam wasn’t thrilled.” Lindsay, 22, was there to support her live-in galpal, who was deejaying the event. But before the night was over, another of Lindsay’s exes, Calum Best, showed up, followed by former girlfriend Courtenay Semel. Although Lindsay’s rep says, “It wasn’t awkward for her to be with all of her exes,” a witness says, “That was definitely enough drama for Lindsay. She made sure the rest of the night was very mellow, drinking little as she smoked and stuck by Sam’s side.” “Lindsay reassured Sam,” a witness says, “by gently rubbing her lower back whenever they were alone.” Courtenay Semel dated Lindsay in late 2007, says an insider. Lindsay dated Calum Best for three months in 2007. Harry Morton romanced Lindsay in 2006.

[From In Touch]

I love how In Touch is polite enough to say “romanced.” As though anyone, guy or girl, has ever bothered to slip even the slightest notion of romance into a relationship with Lindsay. Here is what qualifies for romance to a Lohan: “Oh you didn’t slip any GHB into my drink? That’s so thoughtful of you! Sure I’ll take my panties off.” Roses and chocolates are not required.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan, Calum Best, Tila Tequila and Courtenay Semel at the Apple Lounge Grand Opening on August 14th. Header of Lohan and Samantha shopping yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.