There are two stories today that suggest that Britney is hemorrhaging money as well as public goodwill with her latest antics. She’s selling the mansion in Beverly Hills she bought just two months ago, with the excuse that her son is more at home in her Malibu estate. She only lived there for a month before she left. While it’s possible she can’t afford it, I would bet she just wasn’t comfortable with the neighborhood:

Looks like Britney Spears is shedding more than her hair.

The newly bald “Toxic” singer is looking to sell the Beverly Hills house that she bought only two months ago, according to OK! magazine.

Spears bought the six-bedroom, six-and-a-half bathroom 7,553 square-foot Tuscan villa on Dec. 11 for $7.2 million, moved in a month later, moved out on January 25, and now is looking to sell it for $7.5 million, reports the mag.
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The quick sell is prompting some to question whether the singer needs to reel in her free-spending ways, but according to OK!, it was her sixteen-month-old son’s preference to stay put at Spears’ Malibu house.

“Britney says that Preston preferred living at the Malibu property,” a “source close to Britney” told OK! “It has more land and huge garden — it’s a better environment for Britney to raise the boys.”

Well no wonder Britney’s all f’ed up - she hates her new house!

There’s also a story that Britney tried to book a hotel room but was denied because she had only part of her credit card number written down on a piece of paper and no cash or other cards. She was in standard form and drank heavily, shaved her legs by the pool while wearing cowbooy boots, and tried to switch bikinis with another woman. When she was told she couldn’t stay there without a proper credit card she cried and said “Nobody wants me anymore.” Bald Britney was seen in two different cheap wigs, one blonde and one bright blue.

It’s possible that someone confiscated Britney’s wallet in an attempt to save her from herself, or that she just lost it in a drunken bought of forgetfulness. I doubt that her credit has been cut off. The girl has an AmEx black card with no limit.

Britney later hit bars on Sunset Strip while wearing the Halloween-quality wig and was said to have stormed out of the The Roxy when someone played her old song “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” Another report had people singing Karaoke to it, and not recognizing Britney or realizing she was actually there.

With a bald head, no career in sight and only occasional visits to the studio, how long is it going to be before Spears goes the way of MC Hammer? Britney also recently blew off several recording sessions with Pharrell. Then again, she doesn’t really have expensive taste otherwise and with K-Fed cut loose she’ll be spending less overall. Still, she could get creamed in the divorce settlement, and that seems more likely every day she leaves the house.

What do you guys think: is Britney broke or soon to be?

Mena Suvari is not getting enough attention in her one-third-life crisis. In the spring of 2005 she dumped her 17 year-older German husband after five years of marriage, and has been shacking up with a younger breakdancer. She took off her top at the beach a couple of weeks ago - in Florida, not France - and has been seen out in bootlicious outfits. Now she’s just dressing fug, and sporting Nelly Furtado bangs.

The top of her canary yellow tank-style dress has those kind of big scaly sequins that would be at home on a mermaid costume, and the too-short bottom is gathered accordian style. She pairs it with black diamond-patterned 3/4 length leggings. Her accessories include giant hoop earrings and a fat ‘ol chain with a giant M that looks like she snatched it off the hood of a car. Black acrylic nails with silver embellished tips top off her ensemble. The purse and shoes aren’t bad, though.

Mena has a part in that Factory Girl movie, and stars in three upcoming films this year, including another with Sienna Miller called The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, which is the only one that might be decent.

She is shown at a Fashionweek kickoff party on 1/31. Pictures from Gossip Rocks.

or What Katie Didnt Do …

Lovely Liz Smith at Page Six reports that Katie Holmes suddenly remembers she’s an actress. Maybe they had to take her off the Stepford sedatives while she was recovering from her brash new rhinoplasty … don’t want to mix medications after all. Not when she has some good Thetan breeding years left in her yet.

Agency CAA is developing a new career plan since Katie has not worked during the two years since she fell for Tom. … [Moviefone] describe her connection to Tom Cruise as “a tabloid free-for-all” that didn’t do her any good, creating negative publicity. They say her “likability” rating has dived. And she’s been off the screen too long.

Lovely Liz exhibits some of the problems of an overly kind granny reading of gossip (usually a welcome change from the venom for venom’s sake). In trying to prove that launching the Tom Cruise Missile into a girl’s career is a force for good not for evil - Liz undermines her own kindly case.

Of course, Tom Cruise could produce his own movie to star his beloved. If you think such loving nepotism doesn’t work, think back to Norma Shearer and hubby Irving Thalberg. Being associated with Mr. Box Office didn’t hurt Penelope Cruz, his short-term girlfriend. She’s up for a Best Actress Oscar. And since her divorce from Tom, Nicole Kidman has come into her own.

Okay she gets points for going all ol’ skool with the Shearer/Thalberg reference, but the rest of the argument falls to bits … only proving that getting free of the TC works wonders. Sort of like time served in purgatory that might eventually get you the Keys to the Kingdom. As for producing a film for Katie … does the idea of Battlefield Earth Returns frighten anyone else down to their cotton socks.

Penelope Cruz’s Volver nomination is generally considered a Hail Mary (or I guess Ave Maria) pass from a Hollywood career with not a single good role. She had to basically rewind back to her pre- Cruise Hollywood days to get back on track. I think working with Almodovar again is clearly the key, not her year of T.ender L.oving C.ruise.

Kidman’s divorce let her wear heels again and start winning Oscars worthy roles et al. Isn’t the real lesson that Katie Holmes is either up Dawson’s Creek without a paddle or married and in flats? Success will follow when she’s paroled or granted a pardon.

I wonder if CAA stands for Cruised Actresses Anonymous - in certain knowing circles?

Pictures added by Celebitchy: Here’s Katie Holmes outside of CAA on 1/26, which Just Jared says stands for Creative Audio Associates, which handles music and sound for TV and film. There’s also a Creative Artists Agency, which is what I figure it stands for. Pictures are from KatieHolmes.com

In yet another edition from the Moss and Doherty Handbasket to Hell Review: new footage of Pete Doherty shooting up hit the newsstands and web today. Stills and video allegedly show this latest sobriety stumble two days after their much denied and confirmed “commitment ceremony” in Thailand. Grim, grainy and gruesome indeed - is this the world’s shortest or just messiest honeymoon period?

According to reports, Doherty, 27, had left the exclusive resort where they were staying to seek out drugs.

He was recognised by an Australian fan who invited him back to her room with her and two female friends.

Once there, Doherty was filmed injecting himself on a bed strewn with drugs paraphernalia and cash.

He can also be seen talking to someone - possibly Moss - on a mobile phone while he gets high.

With fans like that who needs enemies, pushers or pincushions? Not that poor Pete seems to need much help in lurching from ill considered lapse to ill considered lapse. He’s a pasty faced, sad baby with tragic-end writ large across his shaggy bangs. When it comes to addiction he seems to give as good as he gets: Kate certainly cannot get enough or tear herself away from his dying spaniel charms.

Last night a source close to the model said: “Kate is understandably livid about these pictures. That they were taken just two days after their special commitment ceremony simply adds insult to injury.

“Of course Kate still loves Pete and vice-versa but she’s a clever woman and knows that she has got to put her career first. Kate needs to start looking after herself - or at least be seen to be doing so - and has been strongly advised to take some time off from Pete.

“This means not getting herself photographed with him and certainly no raucous nights out - at least until the fuss has all died down a bit.”

[Via The Daily Telegraph]

With sources close to you like that who needs a poke in the eye?

Surely one of the key things about merely ‘pretending to tidy up your act’ temporarily so you don’t get a nasty smack from the world is that you gotta keep it to yourself. If everyone knows its a lie … you are very likely to be confronted on the ol’ blatant falsehood. Unless you are Dick Cheney.

The kind of rebel chic that was the subtext of Moss’ short fall and celebrated return to advertisers’ graces last year was all about “edge.” She was still edgy … she was newly edgy … she was so Edgy if anyone still cared about U2 she could whack on a little wool cap and play arena rock with them.

This very fashiony reading of scandal is unlikely to survive ongoing tales of Kate Moss a Mess - Pete Doherty Pincushion — no end in sight to continuing downward spiral. The edge and glamour seem to be fading from the coverage and both are showing up looking rather bruised, scabby and dehydrated. Sid and Nancy is a fine film … but as a lifestyle it’s not very Burberry or Vogue.

E! Planet Gossip reports that doctors have given Lindsay Lohan (recently dubbed Drunky McFreckles on this very site — to wide-spread acclaim) to return to work on her film I Know Who Killed Me … the far too close to home tale of a stripper who develops a split personality aftter a brutal kidnapping … it’s a bit early in her career for her to be doing a bio-pic … and definitely too early to be starring in her own Drunky McFreckles: VH-1 Behind the Music.

Still if it ever gets finished it might be worth a watch - if only to see if it was Disney that brutally kidnapped her from her parents, Booze that brutally kidnapped her from a promising career, Wilmer Valderrama who bk-ed her from her sweet sixteenth, Brandon Davis who bk-ed her fire from her crotch, Michelle Trachtenberg who b-ked her from an ass kicking (see yesterday’s Celebitchy coverage) or of course Paris Hilton who brutally kidnapped her from her underpants …well the list just goes on and on and on …

The other main viewing attraction in I Know Who Killed Me will inevitably be the endless attempts to spot Drunky McFreckle’s infamous invisible appendix scar … a sort of post-surgical Where’s Waldo for the movie going public. The general assumption is that the appendectomy story was a cover for the generally drunken and dissolute LL behaviour that actually stopped production on the movie. As the part requires major pole dancing for young Lindsay (where is her agent?) neck strain may be an issue for dedicated scar spotters.

Here are some behind the scenes photos from Lindsay’s Miu Miu Photoshoot. Pictures from Linds-Lo.com

Brad Pitt, who dropped out of college a week before he was due to graduate (probably not with honors) to drive to LA and take a shot at acting, once had a job as a chauffer for strippers. He said if it wasn’t for that depressing job, he would not have met a stripper who got him to go to an acting class that inspired him to pursue it as a career.

He made the confession to a Newsweek journalist during a roundtable discussion that included other potential Oscar nominees Helen Mirren, Forest Witaker, Cate Blanchett, Penelope Cruz, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Q: It seems every actor, no matter how successful, thinks he’ll never work again. Do you feel that way, Brad?
BRAD PITT: Not really, no. [Laughter]

Q: You all had some surprising early jobs before you became actors. Forest was a classical tenor. Helen was a sort of carnival barker.
PITT: I had a job driving strippers around.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Really?

BLANCHETT: Just last month.

PITT: I love her. Yeah, my job was to drive them to bachelor parties and things. I’d pick them up, and at the gig I’d collect the money, play the bad Prince tapes and catch the girls’ clothes. It was not a wholesome atmosphere, and it got very depressing. After two months I went in to quit, and the guy said, “Listen, I’ve got this one last gig tonight.” So I did it, and this girl—I’d never met her before—was in an acting class taught by a man named Roy London [a famous acting coach]. I went and checked it out, and it really set me on the path to where I am now.

Q: A stripper changed the course of your career.
PITT: [Nods] Strippers changed my life.

Q; We’ll see that in the National Enquirer next week.
PITT: [Looks toward the ceiling] I just want one week off. Just one.

If Pitt wants a week off he should stop telling such great stories about his past. You know he was banging that stripper and he took the acting class to impress her, just like he learned to fly after he hooked up with Angie. Maybe if that stripper was into horseback riding instead he’d be living on a farm now.

Update: Pictures removed on request.

Page Six reports that Sacha Baron Cohen, better known as Borat, Ali G and Bruno, didn’t pose for pictures at a pre Golden Globes party. He looks a bit reluctant posing with his Globe at the Paramount after party in these pictures. They say he wants to stay out of the spotlight and it could be so that he can continue pulling the wool over people’s eyes while in character. He’s about to film a new movie as another one of his alter egos, flaming Austrian fashion commentor Bruno, and doesn’t want to be recognized.

Stardom seems to have gone to the head of Sacha Baron Cohen, who attended HBO’s pre-Golden Globes party at the Chateau Marmont, but refused to pose for photos. “He needs to stop being so recognizable,” laughed one spy.

Cohen - who seems more comfortable when he stays in character as Ali G or Borat - is said to be “shunning publicity” to prepare for his next movie, where he’ll star as his third character, the flamboyant Austrian fashion reporter Bruno.

My favorite Bruno bit is when he interviews a Miami club owner and asks him how he makes sure undesirables - like people in wheelchairs - can’t get in. The guy answers all serious-like that he just puts people off to the side and makes them wait. (At least that’s how I remember it.)

I’ve read this before about Cohen, and it seems like he wants to keep his personal life private and is only comfortable being in the spotlight when he’s in character. He’s dedicated to the Jewish faith and keeps the Sabbath, which seems like a wild contrast to the misogynistic Kazakh who sang “throw the Jew down the well” to a room full of cheering yokels.

I wonder what kind of psychological issues that can create in a person. There was a story in mid November about Hugh Laurie saving Cohen from getting beaten up by an angry guy on the street who was the victim of one of Borat’s pranks. Commentors said at that time that Cohen is a lot like Andy Kaufman of Taxi fame. Poor Boopie said “This is a guy who does not like to be out of character and blurs the line between character and reality.” (Andy Kaufman was so good at character-based comedy, that some fans still doubt that Kaufman is dead, calling it an elaborate hoax. Kaufman was said to have died in 1984 of renal failure caused by a rare form of lung cancer. Kaufman was a non-smoker and told people that he waunted to fake his death.)

There seems to be a difference between playing a role for years, like on a long-running soap opera, and pretending you actually are that character when you meet other people IRL. Maybe Cohen just doesn’t want fans to know who he is so they’ll be more convinced by his obnoxious characters. It’s got to affect him, thogh, and his kind of apologetic look here suggests that the “real” Cohen isn’t that comfortable in the spotlight.

Here’s Cohen’s Golden Globe acceptance speech. He seems all serious in the beginning, and then cracks a joke about having his costar sit on his face:

Update: pictures removed due to end of subscription agreement with photo agency.

You’ve undoubtedly heard that David Beckham has scored a five year, $250 million contract with The Los Angeles Galaxy soccer team after leaving Real Madrid. Britain’s World Cup team may think his celebrity distracts from the game, but in America it will only bring viewers and publicity to a less popular sport. David has a children’s soccer academy that is run out of the same home stadium of his new team and it seems like a smart move for him.

I heard an interview with Beckham on CNN and he said “my reasoning for moving over there are… to provide opportunities for other players.” He said he loves working with kids in his soccer academy. He also said that living in LA will be a great experiene for his entire family.

CNN also interviewed the editor of US who said that David and Victoria have the opportunity to become the next Hollywood power couple, since they’ve all broken up. He seems to have forgotten about Brangelina.

Posh was recently seen looking at homes in LA, and now that her husband’s career is moving there we’re sure to see her out shopping with Katie Holmes. People say that it’s only a matter of time before David and Victoria convert to Scientology, but I give them more credit than that. Even though they come off as dumb they seem kind of savvy to me in their own way, and I bet they’ll stay away from the cult.

The Holy Moley newsletter, which publishes a lot of crap but I run it anyway, claims that Posh’s new short hairstyle isn’t any more real than her super-long extensions. They say she’s lost a lot of hair due to anorexia, and is using filler hair or something.

Luckily for Posh, one of the biggest industries in American prisons is providing real hair for use in extensions. Victoria’s people have made a large issue of the fact that she has recently got rid of her lengthy extensions in order to sport a more natural look.

The truth is somewhat more hair-raising. She still has a full head of hair extensions, though much shorter. One of the crueller side effects of eating disorders is the loss of hair on the crown of the head. And the growth of Brian Blessed-type mutton chop whiskers on the cheeks.

It sounds like speculation to me and I bet her hair is real.

Now that I’m in the states for a short while after the holidays, I’ve been reading all the gossip rags. There’s a story in the latest National Enquirer (which I realize most people don’t take seriously, but I still thoroughly enjoy) that Julia Roberts’ marriage is suffering because her career has been going down the tubes.

They clearly ran this story, which I’m not really putting a lot of faith in, before the news came out that Julia is pregnant again. She may be having trouble in her marriage, but it also might be hormonally-influenced or fabricated by The Enquirer or whatever.

Here’s what they’re saying:

According to insiders, Julia’s been subjecting Danny to long-winded rants about her fears [about her waning career], but when he tells her not to worry, she flips out.

“Julia screams: ‘You think this is no big deal? This is my career we’re talking about! It’s a very big deal… at least to me, it is!’” said the source.

Julia’s seething because she feels she supported Danny’s career ambitions while she raised the kids, says the source. And now that she’s ready to get back to work, the insider says she doesn’t feel Danny’s being as supportive as he should be.

Since Hollywood is not knocking down her door with big film offers like when she was younger, Julia’s been developing her own projects through her Red Om Films, which is being run by Danny’s brother-in-law, producer Phile Rose.

“Julia’s had to learn the hard way that in Hollywood, out of sight is out of mind,” said the source.

However, insiders point out that Julia isn’t helping herself or her career by donning the bizarre bag lady look she sported at the recent premiere for the kid flick “Charlotte’s Web.”

[from The National Enquirer print edition January 15, 2007]

Commentors on the always-heated threads about whether Angelina Jolie is a husband-stealer note that Julia Roberts should be the subject of people’s ire, too, since she broke up Danny Moder’s marriage. Reader frewtloop points out that Julia Roberts once wore a hand-scrawled T-Shirt with the words “A Low Vera” on it, which was a stupid play on words referencing Moder’s estranged wife, Vera. Julia was reportedly pissed off that Moder’s wife wasn’t jumping to sign divorce papers that would have freed him up to marry Julia in early 2002. They were married in July, 2002.

It seems like Angelina is a much easier target for jilted wives since she’s so much more in the spotlight. According to this article, that must really piss off fellow husband-stealer Julia.

All this to-do about Julia’s career affecting her marriage doesn’t seem as likely now that the news is out that she’s expecting her third child, due this summer.

British newspaper The Guardian has a cautionary piece for Brad Pitt, saying that his career isn’t as great as it once was and that he can’t measure up to Matt Damon’s rising star. Damon has a big hit with the Bourne series and is playing meaty roles lately like in the super-boring Good Shepherd. All Pitt put out last year was Babel, which The Guardian deems pretentious, and although he’s been working a lot lately 2007 doesn’t have many great movies in store for Pitt.

They say the only promising film that Pitt is making in 2007 is The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which won’t come out until Christmas time. The Oceans movies are kind of dragging him down, and he’s not really standing out in any films.

They say he hasn’t made any standout films since 1999:

That was 1999, and the last time he seemed awake and having fun. Moreover, from the outset, audiences have fun to the degree that he’s having a good time. We like to see that cheeky grin. But what we got instead was a series of films where the smile was fake or absent: Snatch, The Mexican, Spy Game (with Robert Redford - the kiss of death), Ocean’s Eleven, Full Frontal, the flat-out disaster of playing Achilles in Troy (I don’t think Achilles ever smiles), Ocean’s Twelve and Mr & Mrs Smith.

The latter was a hit, because the public was interested to see him with Angelina Jolie, yet it was hard to avoid the feeling that she was a lot sexier and smarter than he was. As for the two Ocean films - where he plays sidekick Rusty Ryan - they may have seemed like three months out with the boys and a sure cheque, but they have done no one involved any good. George Clooney survives because of all the other things he does. The same goes for Matt Damon. But Brad Pitt is behaving as if they were real jobs of work.

He has plenty of work coming up, including a third Ocean film, The Assassination of Jesse James (which really seems to be a film about Ben Affleck playing Bob Ford), and yet another David Fincher project, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which comes from an F Scott Fitzgerald story about a guy who keeps getting younger (a nice hope). I’d say the Fincher picture can’t come too soon, but it’s not likely to appear until next Christmas. Time for Pitt to think very hard about that crew cut he’s adopted, to learn to smile again, to say goodbye to Ocean and to realise that Angelina Jolie is riding her own private tsunami which other people are not expected to survive.

I say when you’re a star like Pitt and make so much money, who cares? It’s not like he’s Ben Affleck and has to be super careful about the films he’s making. He already has a great career and although he hasn’t won an Oscar or anything he’s not likely to slip from the A list. Sure DiCaprio, Damon and Craig are now stars to watch out for, but Pitt will always set women’s hearts aflutter.

He looks a little bit weathered now although he could be just tired out from a gruelling schedule. He is shown at the Palm Springs film festival on Saturday, where the cast of Babel received an award. When asked if he would have more kids with Angelina, he gave their standard answer “Of course.” Pitt, Jolie and their family will be living in New Orleans for the next few months while Pitt is filming The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Pictures from SimplyBrad. Thanks to WeSmirch for linking this story.