Former Vice Presidential candidate and all-around polarizing figurehead Sarah Palin is about to become a pundit on the Fox News Channel. She’ll also add her unique blend of homey inarticulate wisdom to The Fox Business Channel, FoxNews.com and Fox News Radio. During the campaign this woman couldn’t name any newspapers she reads, was unable to come up with a single Supreme Court Decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, didn’t know what the Bush doctrine was, and regularly mangled her spoon fed talking points beyond recognition. She couldn’t even give a decent speech quitting her job without stumbling over her words. I’ve heard better speeches given off the cuff in high school debates. How Palin is going to talk on her feet during a live broadcast is beyond me. Maybe that’s part of her appeal – watch the pretty lady try to string a coherent thought together.

This just in from the Department of What Took So Long News: Sarah Palin has signed up to be a regular contributor to Fox News. You know what that means—fresh (red, always red) meat!

The right-wing politico has joined the fair and balanced network in a multiyear deal that will see the GOP’s 2008 V.P. nominee offer her political commentary and analysis across all Fox News platforms, but which will not (and Oprah can exhale now) see her hosting her own talk show.

Not exactly, anyway.

“I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at Fox News,” Palin said. “It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news.”
In addition to contributing to Fox News, she’ll also lend her mavericky political opinions and (we can only hope) equally roguish take on geography to the Fox Business Channel, FoxNews.com and Fox News Radio, as well as participating in the network’s special event programming and periodically hosting the forthcoming series Real American Stories.

[From E! Online]

Palin would be a good choice to host a taped show, and that sounds like a reasonable job for her. If she’s reading off cue cards written by someone else she stands a chance. Sadly a national platform that allows her to regularly spew poorly thought out venom will only increase her popularity. G-d help us if she runs for President in 2012. I was just getting used to having a President that actually makes sense when he talks.

Yesterday people noticed that Chris Brown was lashing out at the music industry through his Twitter account, and complaining about stores refusing to sell his new CD, Graffiti. Chris tweeted (this version is cleaned up and he used the full words) “im tired of this sh-t. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f-ck do i gotta do… im not biting my tongue about sh-t else… the industry can kiss my ass.” Everyone kind of clucked their tongues and said that Chris was just showing his true angry and abusive nature.

Joy Behar and her panel on CNN discussed Chris’ nasty tweets. (Link leads to video.) When they wondered aloud who he was angry at – the industry or Walmart – one of them asked “Who is within punching distance?” adding “It’s amazing he has a career at all at this point… He lost his career because of his personal problems.”

According to sources quoted in the Bill Zwecker’s column in the Chicago Sun Times, Chris’ anger management classes aren’t working and this is just one of many incidents in which he’s blown up. “He’s been losing it regularly,” their source says.

Chris might have one less venue in which to vent his frustration at how just the world can be. He deleted his Twitter account yesterday afternoon, probably after his handlers heard the fallout from his obnoxious tirade. MTV has the news. They also say that the Walmart in Wallingford, CT that Chris personally visited and got all up in arms over not seeing his CD had simply sold out of it. Oops! Hey – that reminds me of the $300,000 Oops! necklace Chris bought after the world learned that he beat his girlfriend to a pulp and bit her earring off.

Chris Brown’s irate state of mind, as displayed over the weekend in a series of angry tweets, came to an end Monday afternoon (December 14) when the embattled R&B artist abruptly canceled his Twitter account and abandoned tens of thousands of followers.

“I WANNA THANK MY FANS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT,” Brown posted on his @MechanicalDummy account, moments before it was deleted. “I LOVE YALL. GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!”…

Over the weekend, the 20-year-old continued his attacks on music retailers, telling his Twitter followers that he had gone into a Walmart and discovered that his record wasn’t even available for purchase. “Just was at Walmart in Wallingford CT, 844 north colony,” Brown tweeted Saturday night. “The[y] didn’t even have my album in the back … not on shelves, saw for myself.” Brown said he talked to the store’s managers and “they didn’t even know anything. Wow!!! But they had Alicia Keys album ready for release for this Tuesday comin … the manager told me that when there are new releases it’s mandatory to put em on the shelves … BUT NO SIGN OF #GRAFFITI. BS.”

A sales associate at the Walmart in question told MTV News that the store had actually sold out of the album.

Throughout the weekend, representatives for Brown and his label, Jive Records, were not available or had no comment when MTV News reached out. Similarly, they would not address Brown’s apparent cancellation of his Twitter page. Now, when you click on his @MechanicalDummy alias, viewers are greeted coldly with a “Sorry, that page doesn’t exist” notice.

[From MTV]

Someone with control over Chris’ career told him to cut it out or risk alienating the silver of goodwill people may have left for him. The kid made his bed and he’s not going to have the cash to stay in it. He’s going to have to start selling off some of the toys in that “Fantasy Factory” he said he was building. It will be more like a fantasy double wide.

Not surprisingly, Kate and Jon Gosselin have had a hard time bouncing back in terms of their public image after their nasty divorce. Jon’s image is much worse – the public hates him to the point where no one will work with him. He’s a nightmare. It seems like someone’s always willing to put a hated “celebrity” on some show or another, but Jon Gosselin is so thoroughly reviled that everyone knows he will just cost them viewers and/or clients. Kate, on the other hand, hasn’t been as annoying as Jon throughout their divorce, but she was more annoying during their marriage. I’ve sort of forgiven her just because Jon is such an extreme wang, but the general public has not. As a result, she’s having a hard time hawking her wares as well.

Granted, this may be wishful thinking, but there are indications ”Gosselin-mania” may finally be waning.

Besides the show ending, I’ve learned both Kate and Jon Gosselin’s separate pitches to keep their money machines churning have mutually hit big roadblocks.

• Kate Gosselin’s proposals to several toy manufacturers — for a line of ”eco-friendly” playthings — have not been met with any enthusiasm. Ditto for her idea for a ”mom-friendly” (whatever that means!) line of beauty products for busy mothers.

• Meanwhile, despite lots of chatter — generated by Jon Gosselin himself — none of the rumored new reality shows he would front are gaining any traction with cable network honchos, who likely see the Gosselin phenomenon has run its course.

[From the Chicago Sun-Times]

I love the idea of “mom-friendly” makeup. That’s like Kate coming up with an idea of female-oriented lipsticks. Talk about reinventing the wheel. Jon’s proposals have mostly been for reality shows, like his idea for a show with former BFF Michael Lohan called “Divorced Dads Club.” I feel smarmy even thinking about it. I honestly would bet that people boo Jon when he walks by on the street. What a waste of space.

Kate’s cookbook, which was completed before the divorce and scheduled to be released this month, has been put off indefinitely. It was to be called, “Love is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories” and had instructions on how to pray before dinner from the mom of one of “America’s America’s most close-knit families”

I don’t really care about either Kate or Jon and certainly don’t want them to get anymore of the fame they so dearly crave. But I do seriously worry about how they’re going to support those eight little kids. Kate seems to have a better chance of doing so – not only because she has two brain cells to rub together, but also because she’s a little better liked. I doubt they’d be able to make enough cash to support eight children in regular jobs – so something tells me we’ll still be hearing about them for a long while.

Here’s Kate with the twins in Reading, PA this weekend. Images thanks to INF Photo.

I watched most of the Jon and Kate finale last night and while I’m not “team” anyone, I’m definitely leaning toward Kate as the more responsible parent. Ultimately it’s in the kids’ best interest that the show is finished and that the most dramatic moments of their childhood are no longer captured for our entertainment. I came away with the definite impression that it’s Kate who is the level-headed parent who will work to treat them with compassion while planning for their futures. Sure she’s a drill sergeant in her way, but Jon seemed more like a petulant teenager than a parent. TLC has an axe to grind with Jon as he put a stop to their most lucrative show, but it’s not like they forced him to look like he’d just got off a three day bender or to go on at length about his lost youth and new girlfriend. The difference between Kate and her careful words and well coiffed appearance and unshaven Jon in a dirty t-shirt couldn’t have been more striking.

Kate started crying while talking about the end of the show. She said it was too soon and that “I feel like it’s been taken from us” and “the kids are already missing it.” (We don’t have that clip here but you can watch it on Radar Online.) She said several times that Jon will always be her children’s father and that she would work not to say negative things about him to the kids. She also said that he was always going to be a part of their lives and that she would welcome that. Jon, on the other hand, mostly went on about himself and how everything affected him. He barely seemed to talk about the kids at all. During his filmed custody time, on a trip to sell lemonade to raise money for volunteer firefighters, he got annoyed with his nine year-old twins, Mady and Cara, and told them they had to stay home. He was really short with them, and seemed vindictive, saying things like “you’re done. Goodbye. See ya!” The thing that seemed to set him off was one of the twins saying “I like stuff we do with Mommy.” Daddy has a hangover and he’s not taking any back talk.

Here’s some of the stuff Jon and Kate said separately on the final episode of the fifth season of their reality show. (Not all the quotes are in order.) There won’t be more episodes of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” but Kate will surely be back on some kind of show. Jon will probably continue hanging around low-class events like one of those sucker fish on the side of a neglected home aquarium:

Kate on the end of the show
This is a very bittersweet goodbye for me, because the kids are already missing it. He’s still their dad, and they love him… they need to see him. Our show has provided opportunities that we wouldn’t otherwise have. I feel like it’s been taken from us, from me and the kids…

I feel like it ended so suddenly, and I feel like it’s been taken from us, from me and that kids.

I never had a clear picture of how it would end, but I think it’s too soon.

On her feelings about how the series came to an end.
It’s sad, it’s needless, it’s useless, it was totally avoidable…. I basically could go to work and my kids could go with me, is how I saw it…

Our show has provided the opportunities for us to travel and do and see, that we wouldn’t otherwise have.

Jon on how he supposedly changed
I think I became more educated about myself… I gotta stop being a kid, I got to grow up one day and take initiative and be a man. I think what might have happened was I got divorced and never had the sense of freedom. I got married at 22, so maybe I reverted back to 23, because I never had that freedom…

Kate on her goals for herself and her kids
I think through all of this scrutiny I wish that people could see that maybe I’ve been thrown in the same boat with Jon, but the truth is I’m in a completely different boat going in a completely different direction… my goals have not changed… I want the best for my kids.

Jon on his bachelor life and “work” in NY
NY was a big eye opener for me. I kind of just picked a place to live and started living there. Now I know like where I hang out and stuff like that is totally different… it’s three hours from my house and where my kids are, which means it’s like work, it’s like I have work again. Although I live there, it’s not like I’m at my house and work’s at my house… I couldn’t leave. Now it’s like I have a place to go.

When I get sick of the city and all the press and the media… I go back to my country place and I’m chill. So it’s like I got the best of both worlds right now.

Kate on how she talks to her kids about Jon
The kids ask a lot of questions… I need them to see a hardworking parent that is… not just saying they want the best but really I want the best for my kids. They come to me with questions and I answer them… matter of factly. When a behavior is unacceptable I’ll tell them that, but I try not to do it in a disparaging way. I don’t want them to look back and remember me as tearing their father apart who they love.

Jon on how he is going to change
The biggest thing I’ve learned is you make these mistakes, you learn from them and you move forward… I know what I have to do to save our family from being resolved [sic] and I know what I have to do to be friends with Kate and I know what I have to do to continue my relationship with Hailey and move on. There’s like a whole bunch of things going on, but they kind of all tie together.

Kate on Jon’s girlfriends
They don’t know about girlfriends at all. That’s just too warped for them. It’s too unhealthy for them to know. They’re learning at this age by watching us what it’s like to be an adult and that’s the last thing I want them to know.

I really just think that relationship… [Hailey is not mentioned by name] is just a symptom of the real issue. So I don’t envision a future there involving my kids at all.

Kate on Jon always being her kids’ dad
They love him and they need to see him. My goal has really been to remain neutral, state the facts, not say negative things about them. It is what it is. He’s still their dad and I will never discourage him from being with them.

Kate on if any good has come out of the last eight months
I’m a lot stronger than I thought was ever possible… I can tell you who my true friends are. I have never known how much I would need people around me and friends to support me, to get me through… that there are people who will listen and listen and give advice and never grow tired. Those are lifelong friends.

Jon again on how he’s going to change
I’m going to have to take initiative for myself and do the best I can as a father, and I’m always going to be there for my friends. No. Matter. What…

It’s unfortunate our marriage failed, but our family shouldn’t have to fail.

[Transcribed from final episode of Jon & Kate, aired 11/23/09]

For all the things you can say about both Jon and Kate, they seem to be honestly trying to do what’s best for their kids. Kate hasn’t said anything about Jon that we don’t already know, and she’s been very reserved in her criticism of him. It looks like they’re about to reach an agreement in their divorce, and Jon even brought Kate roses in some kind of dual attempt at conciliation and positive press. Even if their divorce is settled amicably, it’s not like this story is over. Jon is being sued by TLC for breach of contract and that case is set to go to court next month. We’re sure to hear more explosive details in this family circus. Not that much would surprise us at this point.

Oprah Winfrey announced on her live show today that it would come to an end in about 18 months, in 2011. Oprah’s statement didn’t come as a surprise, as there have been rumors for some time that she would end her show in 2011. Her spokesperson even a confirmed the news yesterday. I watched Oprah’s statement via TMZ (video above) and I found it both heartfelt and a little moving. I’m not a real Oprah fan and I find her a little too far up her own butt most of the time, but I did get the impression that it was very hard for her to say goodbye and that she genuinely cares about her fans. She cried a little when she talked about all the years she’d been on the air and you could tell that she had to work to pull herself together. Oprah assured us that the reason she’s leaving is because it’s just time, and that all the rumors we’re hearing about why she’s ending the show are just conjecture:

“Twenty five years feels right in my bones and right in my spirit,” she told her audience, at times tearing up during the announcement. “It is the exact right time.” Winfrey also acknowledged her loyal fan base: “For some of you long time Oprah viewers you have literally grown up with me. You have your family and you raised your children and you left a spot for me in your morning and afternoon…[that] has brought me the greatest joy I have ever known.”

[From Radar]

TMZ said Oprah engaged in some “shameless promotion for her next season,” and she did mention the next season and asked people to tune in, but what do they expect? This is Oprah, she’s the queen of self promotion. She has a real knack for making us feel enlightened for choosing to pay attention to her pearls of wisdom. In her closing remarks, she said “The countdown to the end of the Oprah Winfrey show starts now. Until the end… I intend to soak up every joyful, meaningful moment with you.” Oh Oprah, you’re probably right that you need to give it a rest finally. It must get exhausting trying to bring so much meaning and fulfillment to the masses.

Now that she has more money than God, Oprah is calling it quits. Apparently, “The Oprah Winfrey Show” is so huge, its viewers need a two-year notice. Now that Oprah has an empire to command – including a radio channel on Sirius, a magazine, and Broadway shows, movies and TV shows to produce – the talk show that first put her on the map is taking a back seat. Oprah has been hinting for a while now that she would not renew her syndicated program once her contract expired in 2011; today’s announcement makes it official.

Oprah Winfrey just announced to her staff … next season will be the last for her TV show.
An Oprah insider tells TMZ “Oprah announced there will be layoffs after this season.” The final show will air in Sept 2011. 2011 marks the 25th year of the show — one of the most successful in TV.

Oprah Winfrey insiders tell TMZ Oprah initially planned to announce she was quitting her show earlier than today … but the decision was delayed for strategic reasons.

We’re told Oprah will be making her big announcement tomorrow because it’s the last taping day of the show for the rest of the year.

As for the strategic reasons …. one insider says Oprah wants “The Dr. Oz Show” to slip into her time period on ABC when her show goes off the air. We’ve learned “The Dr. Oz Show” becomes a free agent literally within days of the final curtain for “Oprah.” Will ABC buy Oz?

[From TMZ]

Love her or hate her, there’s no way to deny Oprah’s rightful place in television history: the first black woman to have her own talk show, Winfrey ratcheted the familiar format up a few notches, making once-controversial hosts like Phil Donohue look like uptight stuffed shirts. Her ability to book A-list celebrities like Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts one day, then address hot topics such as domestic abuse and femal sexuality the next, has kept viewers glued to the set and whispering around water coolers for 25 years. Later in the show’s life span, a rejuvenated format urged viewers to enhance their lives and communities by reading books, giving to charity and getting involved in the political process. Oprah’s ability to connect with her loyal audience and influence everything from what they wear, listen to and even vote for is unprecedented for a TV host — as is her net worth.

So, what will Oprah do after 2011? Why, start another cable TV network, of course. Oprah Winfrey Network, aka OWN, will be her next big thing. Winfrey was a founding partner in the Oxygen cable channel but later withdrew from that project.

Winfrey, 55, is ending the show so that she can devote more of her time to the start of her own cable channel, OWN (The Oprah Winfrey Network), which will be a 50-50 partnership between her and the Maryland-based Discovery Communications.

OWN was scheduled to start at the end of this year, but the date has been changed several times, and 2009 no longer seems likely. Winfrey reportedly told staffers at Harpo Productions that she will not do a talk show on OWN. But she could be saying that so as not to be seen as “competing” in any way with “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” which has contracts it must obligate through Sept. 9, 20011.

Winfrey was one of the founding partners in the Oxygen cable in 1998, but she said the channel did not reflect her voice and she eventually ended her relationship.

One of the most interesting stories will be the way Oprah’s move in 2011 re-aligns early evening news ratings in cities form coast to coast.

[From Baltimore Sun]

I have to be honest: I haven’t watched Oprah in years. Every once in a while I will see a clip on E!’s “The Soup,” and she appears to be out of her mind. I can’t say I’ll miss her show, but I sure will miss the crazy.

Ashlee Simpson is marching forward with her career after getting fired from Melrose Place for her bad acting. Actually, you could also say she’s taking a big step backwards. Not because her upcoming plans are a step down. But because she’s returning to her old role in the musical “Chicago.” Simpson played Roxie Hart in the London stage version, and now she’s taking it to Broadway.

Where does a crazy Melrose Place character go after she dies? Apparently, the Windy City by way of the Great White Way.

According to reports, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, 25, isn’t taking a break after getting axed from the prime-time soap. Instead, she’s set to play Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago, starting in December for six weeks, Gossip Cop reports.

It’s not an unfamiliar role. Simpson-Wentz played the role in the London run of the musical. It would, however, be her Broadway debut.

[From People]

“Chicago” was really good to Ashlee. She’d previously had a bit of acting under her belt (“Malcolm in the Middle,” and her own “reality” show) and had that infamous SNL lip-syncing debacle. She got decent reviews for “Chicago,” and it was right around that time that she got her nose job and was starting to be referred to as “hot” instead of “Jessica Simpson’s ugly duckling sister.” Not that she ever was an ugly duckling, but she was never competition until right around that time. She started becoming more of a gossip fixture, and now she gets almost as much coverage as Jessica.

Frankly, it sounds like a smart move. Broadway demands a different type of acting from something like “Melrose Place.” Certainly not worse acting, so it’s not like Ashlee found the perfect solution. But you can be a bit hammier and it can still work. I tend to think Ashlee couldn’t do the Melrose style, but that doesn’t mean she’s lost as an actress altogether. I think something that’s literally more theatric could work. And she’ll have a change of scenery and all that, which’ll be nice. Hey, maybe Pete Wentz will even have to babysit and stay in some nights while Ashley goes out. Naw. Though People didn’t mention it, something tells me Pete won’t be joining Ashley in NYC. I’m sure the divorce rumors will start by tomorrow afternoon.

Here’s Ashley (with big sis Jessica) at her West End debut in “Chicago” on September 25th, 2006. Images thanks to WENN.com .

How many stories have I started off by sarcastically saying “Poor Chris Brown”? I don’t think I’m capable of any other intro. It just bums me out so badly when stuff doesn’t go right for him, you know? Why does bad stuff happen to sh*tty people? In that vein, dear Chris really isn’t feeling the love from his fans. Maybe because his fans don’t love him anymore? Thus he doesn’t have many fans? Once in a while it’s clear he’s got about four fans left, from the occasional comments they leave on our Chris Brown stories. Hey Chris, if you really want to know where your fans are, I can give you their ISPs. You can do an intimate performing session with your only remaining true believers. Because you sure aren’t selling out the concerts.

Looks like Chris Brown’s past might haunt him “Forever.” The scorned singer is attempting a comeback with his “Fan Appreciation” tour, which kicks off next week, but he hasn’t had much luck filling even the small venues he’s set to perform in. The gigs – which start at the House of Blues in Houston on Nov. 14 and end in the Big Apple’s Nokia Theater on Dec. 15 – aren’t even close to sold out. In fact, anyone who’s interested can still purchase up to 50 tickets at a time for Brown’s opening night.

“This is definitely not the outcome [Chris' label] Jive Records hoped for,” says an industry exec, adding that the poor ticket sales are surely a result of Brown’s now-infamous altercation with Rihanna in February. “Chris lost a lot of fans after he assaulted Rihanna. And after that whole scandal, he’s not exactly kid-friendly. What parent would buy their children tickets to his concert?” Brown’s agent, meanwhile, says he’s not worried about the sluggish sales. “Dates are expected to sell out,” insists the flack, “and given the economic climate, ticket sales are doing very well.”

But another industry insider says the tour may be premature, considering Brown’s “Graffiti” album doesn’t drop until Dec. 8. “Had this tour fallen on the heels of a smash album, compared to his climbing single ‘I Can Transform Ya,’ ticket counts might have been better,” says the source. That logic may explain why the release of “Graffiti” has been pushed up a week – it was originally slated for a Dec. 15 debut. “This may be Jive’s way of boosting Chris’ head count for the Manhattan show,” says the music insider. “The turnout at Nokia is pretty crucial. If he can get a big crowd in New York City, it’ll be a good sign that he can regain control of his career.”

[From Gatecrasher]

I get that this wasn’t what Brown’s label was hoping for, but didn’t they realize this is what would probably happen? I really hope I can eat at McDonald’s three times a day without consequences, and I try to keep positive thoughts in my head, but I’m normally not acting all shocked when the scale cracks a few days later. Keep your expectations rational and realistic, people. Here’s a thought to Jive: maybe drop Chris Brown. He’s a sinking ship, and he wants to bring you all down with him.

I am super psyched to see what the Billboard charts look like the week Brown’s album debuts. I’m sure it’ll be in the top 100, but it’d make me really happy if it didn’t crack the top 20. It’s too bad, because the guy did have talent. But temper trumps talent.

Here’s Chris performs during POWER 105.1′s Powerhouse concert at in East Rutherford, New Jersey on October 27th. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Now that Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has been fired from “Melrose Place” (quite possibly due to Heather Locklear taking her reprised role as scheming Amanda Woodward to heart) big sister Jessica is feeling more than free to slam the show. While she used to be its biggest fan (at least according to her Twitter), now she’s got nothing but two thumbs down for the revamped drama.

Now that her sister Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has been canned on Melrose Place, Jessica Simpson says she isn’t a fan of the CW soap. The singer, 29, used to promote her sister’s former show regularly on her Twitter (“Everyone watch my sis on melrose place tonight,” she wrote Oct. 20).

But on Sunday, she changed her tune drastically. Jessica wrote: “CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.”

According to the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now), Ashlee, a veteran of TV’s 7th Heaven, was canned because producers thought she couldn’t act. “They hired her because they needed a good name to help create buzz,” a set insider told Us Weekly. “But she was embarrassingly bad. Producers cut her down as much as possible.”

Seconds another source: “She’s the worst actress, but nobody will tell her.”

[From Us Weekly]

I could go off about how dumb and naïve Jessica is, but frankly I like that she’s unconditionally supportive of her sister. It’s nice when your family loves you so much that you can do no wrong. Well, to an extent. But Ashlee’s bad acting definitely falls under the family umbrella. They all probably think she’s amazing and super talented, and I think that’s sweet.

All that said, getting kicked off “Melrose” supposedly hasn’t taught Ashlee any lessons about her acting skills. Us Weekly mentioned that she doesn’t want to return to singing, that she’s been spending most of her time going over scripts, and that “‘acting is her focus now.’” God save us all. I was only able to sit through the show a time or two, but watching Ashlee’s scenes was excruciating. She was so bad it actually made me feel awkward and uncomfortable, and I had to stop watching. If she’s really got her little heart set on acting, I’d say she should probably set her feet in motion towards a good acting class. Or seven.

In case you’re interested, here are some priceless pics of Jess at Halloween. Maybe it’s me, but it looks like her left boob is trying to go drastically different places from her right one.

Here’s Jessica Simpson with a bindi design on her forehead in Mumbai, India on October 27th. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Ronan Allen, the 21-year-old biological son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen has been appointed to a high-level State Department position. According to Politico and other sources, Ronan was appointed as a liason between the Richard Holbrook (the special envoy to Pakistan) and humanitarian non-governmental organizations (NGOs) working in Pakistan, such as Save the Children, Church World Service, the International Rescue Committee. When people realized that someone so young (with such famous parentage) was given such a high position, you can bet that some feathers were ruffled.

One critic (from an NGO) was anonymously quoted as saying, “You have seasoned, experienced NGO officials dealing with some very sensitive foreign policy and humanitarian aid issues, whose main contact in Holbrooke’s office is a 21 year old whose experience has been travelling to southern Sudan with his mom.” Translation: Holbrooke should have hired me! Another unnamed source sniffed, “It was a surprise but we don’t see this really as a big deal. He’s not the only point of contact for us.” Translation: We don’t want to talk to the kid, so we’ll go over his head. Holbrooke’s office is holding strong, though. The State Department even officially defended Ronan, saying “He’s very qualified for the job, and has already helped explain the current situation (regarding) Pakistani procurements to key NGOs.”

To his credit, Ronan does seem rather qualified. He’s something of a wunderkind. He was accepted to Yale Law School before he was 16 years old, but deferred to work as a Special Assistant to Richard Holbrooke. He ended up entering Yale Law in 2006, and graduated earlier this year. Ronan has also published essays and articles on Darfur and human rights issues for the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, and Forbes Magazine. His previous jobs include a gig with the United Nations Children’s Fund, a UNICEF spokesperson for youth and he also helped his mother in her work for Darfur. He’s also kind of hot – don’t judge him from these older pictures from 2004. He does take after his mother more than his father, but now that he’s all grown up, his features aren’t so delicate, and he’s a babe! (see current pictures here, here and here).

Special Representative to Afghanistan and Pakistan Richard Holbrooke has appointed Mia Farrow’s 21 year old son as his team’s liaison to non-governmental organizations working in Pakistan, humanitarian group officials tell POLITICO.

Representatives from Save the Children, Church World Service, the International Rescue Committee, and Care met with Holbrooke this week to talk about what his team is trying to do with humanitarian assistance in Pakistan, an NGO official told POLITICO on condition of anonymity.

And there’s this young guy with Holbrooke who nobody recognizes, the humanitarian group official said. And Holbrooke tells the group that this is Ronan Farrow, who will be his special liaison to NGOs working in Pakistan. And that among Farrow’s experience, he has traveled to southern Sudan with his mom.

(Actress Mia Farrow has been an advocate for international action to stop genocide in Darfur.)

“You have seasoned, experienced NGO officials dealing with some very sensitive foreign policy and humanitarian aid issues, whose main contact in Holbrooke’s office is a [21] year old whose experience has been traveling to southern Sudan with his mom,” the humanitarian official said, describing the NGO representatives in the meeting as taken aback by the news.

Ronan Farrow’s Wikipedia page says that he was born in 1987, with the birth name of Satchell Ronan O’Sullivan Farrow, the son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen (and the subject of their famous custody dispute). But while he’s only 21 (he turns 22 in December), Farrow’s biography describes him as something of a prodigy, who has worked in some unspecified capacity for Holbrooke since he was a teenager. It says he was admitted to Yale Law School when he was 16 years old, but deferred admission until 2006 to “work as a Special Assistant to Richard Holbrooke, former United States Ambassador to the United Nations” and for additional work as a UNICEF spokesperson for youth. He apparently recently graduated from Yale Law School.

A State Department official confirmed the appointment, and said Farrow was qualified for it, and brings solid NGO experience with Save Darfur, and UNICEF. “He’s very qualified for the job, and has already helped explain the current situation re: Pakistani procurements to key NGOs, including a meeting he organized today with InterAction and its affiliated NGOs.”

“Kid’s a friggin’ genius,” another official said. “And a true activist for Darfur … Went to college at age 11 and then to law school at 16.”

Another associate of Farrow’s writes, on condition of anonymity: “I know and have worked with Ronan Farrow. … I can reveal that his actual title at State is as Special Advisor on Humanitarian and NGO Affairs … He has the policy chops. He wrote columns on human rights issues for the Wall Street Journal, LA Times and International Herald Tribune for years. Working for UNICEF – not just with his mother in Sudan, but in Eritrea, Angola, and Nigeria – is just a fraction of what got him hired. He was a human rights law guy at the House Foreign Affairs Committee, ran a research team for the CDC in Nairobi, and has testified as an expert witness before Congress repeatedly. … He’s young but he has a depth of experience that many people twice his age lack. ….”

[From Politico]

I’m fascinated by child geniuses. The Doogie Howsers of the world are so cool. I think that’s what Ronan is – I mean, college at the age of 11, Yale Law School at 16? So. Awesome. He’ll probably be president in 20 years. Either that, or he’ll crash and burn like those Enron guys (they were allegedly “the smartest guys in the room”). But Ronan’s hot! No one that hot can be bad, right? Forget Sparkles Pattinson, I’d go cougar for Ronan. He looks like such a baby in the 2004 pics below, but he turned out so hot.

Header image was uploaded on 10/23/09 and is credit Jek339 via Wikipedia.