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Carrie Underwood – who I used to kinda sorta like – made some very stupid comments about the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation. Perhaps she wasn’t thinking before she spoke and didn’t realize the implications her comments could have. But they were insensitive and insulting nonetheless. Underwood told Us Weekly that the pair were fine when they left Clive Davis’ Grammy party. And then she urged everyone to withhold judgment.
Carrie Underwood saw Chris Brown and Rihanna at Clive Davis’ Pre-Grammy Gala in Beverly Hills on Saturday – hours before Brown allegedly assaulted his girlfriend.
“They were fine at the Grammy party,” Underwood told Usmagazine.com Thursday at the American Idol Experience at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida.
“I don’t think anybody actually knows what happened,” she added. “I have no advice because, thank goodness, I’ve never been in any kind of abusive situation.”
She told Us she wishes people “would stop” spreading rumors about what led to the incident.
“You hear a new one every five minutes, and some of them are getting kind of ridiculous,” she said. “I really hope everyone will lay off and just let everybody who’s involved figure out everything first.”
[From OMG]
Here’s the problematic statement: “I don’t think anybody actually knows what happened.” We do know the basic fact that Rihanna was beaten senseless. She was bitten multiple times. She was choked into unconsciousness. She has black eyes and a split lip. This was a violent, rage-filled act. We know that happened. What Underwood is saying is that we don’t know what happened prior to that, as though there could be an explanation that would justify it. There is absolutely nothing that could have happened that excuses or explains domestic assault. And it’s not Rihanna’s job – or any woman’s job – to live her life walking on eggshells so she doesn’t provoke a beating from her boyfriend.
People magazine is even reporting on what Rihanna will have to do to heal from this terrible experience. And People is extraordinarily careful with what they print – but even they’re not going to placate Chris Brown and act like this is anything other than what it is: hateful, evil, and criminal.
As Rihanna recovers from Sunday morning’s alleged beating by her boyfriend, Chris Brown, the singer will need to tend to more than her bruises. According to experts, a victim must surround herself with people who will not make her feel responsible for what happened. “Friends, family, people who will give you good and positive information and not ask questions like, ‘So, what were you doing?’ ” explains Rita Smith, executive director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Adds Sheryl Cates, CEO of the National Domestic Violence Hotline: “I’d say to Rihanna, ‘You did not cause this.’ ”
As her physical wounds heal, Rihanna could still suffer sleeping problems, a change in eating patterns and a lack of concentration, says Smith. “She could also experience an exaggerated startle response,” says Smith. “Somebody raising their hand to say hi near her might bring a reaction.
“This is a normal response to being a victim of violence. Those things will lessen and go away, but they’ll be around for a while,” adds Smith. Joining a support group or speaking with a counselor involved in a domestic violence program can aid in healing, says Sue Else, president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence.
“Feeling like there is safety net around you is going to help that,” says Else. “Feeling like you’re not in this alone – that you didn’t do anything to cause it.”
[From People]
This is good information for anyone who has been or is currently a victim of domestic violence. Rihanna is fortunate in that she is not financially dependent on Brown, so in that one respect it is easier for her to leave him. Many women are not so lucky. Hopefully she has good people around to support her – she’s certainly got the vast majority of the public support. Her career is just going to get better – whereas Chris Brown is going to learn a very powerful lesson. Hopefully he will learn it through the legal system – but if not he’ll learn a lesser one through the court of public opinion – and nonexistent CD sales.
If you are being abused, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit their website at www.ndvh.org.
Here’s Carrie Underwood at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy Gala on February 7th. Images thanks to WENN.












































