Once every 123,383,384 days Paris Hilton thinks about someone besides herself. Okay I know the math doesn’t really work out there, but you get my point. It’s a damn rare occasion. Paris recently donated some cash to Childrens Hospital Los Angeles – I know! Shocking, right? The once-in-a-lifetime occasion of Paris being kind and thinking about other people has finally come! Well, no. Because the first thing she did after that was issue a glowing press release.

“I am so happy and fortunate to announce my support for Childrens Hospital Los Angeles,” Hilton said in a statement. “The children I have met through my [involvement] at Childrens Hospital have truly touched my heart.”

The 27-year-old celebutante started volunteering at the hospital following her release from jail after serving 23 days for DUI. Proceeds from the August launch of her eponymous clothing line at the West Hollywood boutique Kitson also went to the kids, some of whom were at the party to fete the arrival of Hilton’s collection of relatively affordable casual wear.

“The fabulous new hospital facilities at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles will provide a caring, healing environment for children and their families for many years to come,” she continued, “and I am proud to make a donation and lend my name to the fundraising effort to help children who are facing terribly serious illnesses.”

[From E! News]

Yeah, so her involvement was court ordered. Obviously it wasn’t court ordered that Paris donate money, but I’m guessing she probably hasn’t done a whole lot with the hospital from the time her forced volunteer work ended and the time she gave them some cash.

E! gloriously notes that philanthropy runs in Paris’ genes. Her grandfather Barron Hilton was named as the No. 1 giver of 2007 by the Chronicle of Philanthropy. His father, Hilton founder Conrad, left the bulk of his estate to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation (which was later contested). Barron has publicly stated that 97 percent of his multibillion dollars will go to the foundation – with the remaining three percent being divvied up by his eight children and many, many grandchildren, of which Paris is one.

Something tells me Paris’ good deed has less to do with her the more dignified members of her family and their long history of philanthropy, and more to do with the person she cares most about: Paris Hilton.

Here’s Paris running errands in Sunset Plaza in Los Angeles yesterday. Don’t you sashay around like this on your way to pick up some clothes? Images thanks to WENN.

Even though they were separated at the time of Heath Ledger’s death, Michelle Williams is still regarded as his widow of sorts. The actress is the mother of Ledger’s only child, and she took the news of his death very hard. Many insiders felt that the pair would have eventually reconciled. Now, Michelle is working with a film director to set up a scholarship fund for aspiring Australian actors in Heath’s name.

Aussies with Hollywood dreams will be given the opportunity to follow in the footsteps of the late Heath Ledger.

At Thursday’s Australians in Film 2008 Breakthrough Awards in Beverly Hills, director Gregor Jordan announced the formation of a Heath Ledger scholarship fund to help struggling Australian actors. The plan is to select one young actor from Down Under each year — beginning next year — and give him or her the chance to make it in Hollywood.

Gregor, who became friends with Heath after directing him in 1999’s Two Hands, told the audience: “It’s going to involve a number of benefactors and there’s been a lot of interest already. I was talking to Michelle Williams, his partner and the mother of his child, today and Michelle has said she would be very proud and happy to be the first benefactor.”

[From Star Magazine]

This is a pretty cool idea, although I’m still unclear on how a scholarship is going to help a struggling actor make it in Hollywood. Isn’t that more about what you look like, who you know and who your agent will step on to get you a role? Or am I watching too much “Entourage?” Anyway, kudos to Michelle for agreeing to be a benefactor.

Michelle Williams is shown at the premiere of Synedoche, New York in Cannes with her co-stars Samantha Morton and Catherine Keener on 5/23/08, thanks to WENN.

American Idol judge Simon Cowell, who once told a contestant that he would make a better drag queen than an Idol, and called another contestant’s singing “diabolical,” (he was actually correct about that one, mean though he was) may have a heart after all, underneath those boring black sweaters and man-boobs. The Brit participated in “Oprah’s Big Give,” a reality/game show that is giving that other ABC tearjerker reality show, “Extreme Home Makeovers,” a run for its money. Cowell donated $162,000 to a family who fell into a financial crisis after their daughter was diagnosed with cancer.

Simon Cowell may not be so mean after all.

The American Idol judge, 48, gave the family of a cancer-stricken 3-year-old $162,000 to pay off their mortgage, he announced on Oprah Winfrey’s Big Give show on Monday.

The family drives more than 100 miles from their Minnesota home every day so their daughter, Madelaine, can receive treatments.

“It’s a very basic story of a normal family whose daughter got very ill, and they had some financial problems which was relatively easy for me to sort out,” Cowell explained to Extra.

On the show, he told Winfrey that he “credits her” for teaching him to be a do-gooder.

Said Cowell, “I never knew that doing good could feel so good.”

[From Us Weekly]

I think Oprah should recruit some more notorious meanies for this show. It would be like “The Grinch,” week after week. Too bad Leona Helmsley is dead. Anyway, good for Simon for finally understanding that there are other people less fortunate on the planet than himself. But that doesn’t mean I want to see “Nice Simon” on American Idol. Somebody has to tell these people that they suck!

Note by Celebitchy: Here’s the clip from Oprah. It made me cry so hard to see what this family and little girl are going through.

Do you sit around worrying about how much each celebrity might be worth, if you were to translate their entertainment value into dollars? Me either, but now that the idea’s come into my head, I think I’ll start. I’m going to value Britney Spears at $1.92. Paris Hilton could probably fetch $3.49. Lindsay Lohan is somewhere in the $.99 bin. And Scarlett Johansson runs you $40,000. Sounds about right. I have yet to see Scarlett’s lady bits splayed across my computer screen. I’m pretty sure that drops anyone’s value by about 83%. Yes I’m pulling these figures out of thin air, and really, really enjoying it. I am worth a modest, yet accessible $5,679. Thank you for wondering. Scarlett auctioned off a “date” with herself on eBay, all to benefit Oxfam. She’s been working with the aid organization for three years, since the Asian Tsunami.

Scarlett Johansson went up on the auction block and was “sold” for $40,100. A meet-and-greet with the actress was up for grabs on eBay as part of a fundraiser for the Oxfam America charity and ended last night. The prize includes two tickets to the July premiere of her next movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, chauffeured car service to the premiere, hair and makeup for one by Privé and a meet-and-greet with Scarlett at the premiere. The deep-pocketed winner? “Bossnour” from England, who may have to shell out a few more bucks for airfare to get across the pond.

[From In Touch]

Not to be a jerk, but if I went on a date and it involved a meet-and-greet, I’d be a little pissed. I’m assuming the meet-and-greet will involve a little time to chat? One would hope? If she’s just walking down a line of people, shaking hands and signing autographs, I think this “Bossnour” gets to ask for $10,000 back or something. The funny part is that it involves hair and makeup for the winner… who one would assume (but we don’t know for sure) is a man, and probably not in need of such services. As much as guys love eyeliner and all… I’m guessing that wasn’t the big draw.

Here’s Scarlett Johansson at the Royal London Premiere of “The Other Boleyn Girl” on February 19th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Question: why are we still calling him “Kid?” The white-trash rocker/rapper, whose trial is still pending from an assault charge at a Duluth, Georgia waffle house, is reportedly returning to the scene of the crime- this time for charity.

Talk about a special warm-up gig.

Kid Rock may be playing at Atlanta’s Gwinnett Arena on March 11 – but before his performance, the rocker is returning to the Duluth, Ga., Waffle House where he was arrested for battery after a fight last October to greet fans and sign autographs for charity, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution is reporting.

While the rocker (real name Robert James Ritchie) has pleaded not guilty to the charges, organizers say that Kid Rock’s fight is the farthest thing from their mind.

“For a while now, we’ve been working with Kid Rock’s management to try and turn a negative into a positive,” Pat Warner, a Waffle House rep, told the newspaper. “We’re hoping to raise some money for a worthwhile charity.” All proceeds from the event, which begins at 2 p.m., will benefit Nicholas House, a homeless shelter for families in DeKalb County.

Organizers expect a heavy fan turnout – and local radio stations have been promoting Kid Rock’s appearance. One rock station has auctioned off passes to the Waffle House event, as well as tickets to the concert that night and a backstage meet-and-greet.

[From People]

While the police report in Kid’s arrest doesn’t elaborate, it’s reported that the fisticuffs that led to his arrest last year involved an inebriated male diner at the Waffle House who made some unsavory remarks about a woman in Kid’s entourage. He’s been charged with misdemeanor battery, and pled not guilty last week. It’s nice that Kid is trying to repair his image and do some charity work. However, Kid does have a fondness for punching people: he assaulted another one of ex-wife Pam Anderson’s ex-husbands, fellow douchebag Tommy Lee, during a live broadcast of the Video Music Awards last September. I guess Kid’s mom never taught him to keep his hands to himself.

Kid Rock is shown at the American Music Awards on 11/18/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

If Santa Claus goes by the Reuters good celebrity list, then it seems Angelina Jolie probably got something good in her stocking this year. Brad Pitt maybe? Reuters have listed the top celebrity humanitarians of 2007.

The actress was voted the person who has given the best name to “celebrity humanitarianism” for her work as goodwill ambassador for the UN refugee agency.

The 32-year-old, who has three adopted children from poverty-stricken areas, was also recognised for her attempts to draw attention to suffering in Africa and arrange aid for displaced Iraqis.

Madonna was voted the least respected celebrity altruist in the survey of 606 people by Reuters AlertNet. Although she raised millions for orphans in Malawi, she was accused of using her influence to adopt a baby from the country without the normal legal procedures.

Digital Spy

The poll wasn’t based on who did the most good, but rather who is the most respected do-gooder.

Other celebrity humanitarians include Bono, Bill Gates, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Bill Clinton. Following Madonna on the dubious humanitarian list is Paris Hilton following her aborted Rwanda trip, Oprah, Bono again, and Bob Geldof. So how can you earn respect to go along with your celebrity status?

The difference between Jolie and the other famous philanthropists is that the star doesn’t travel with camera crews and does her best to dodge the paparazzi.

“Someone like Angelina Jolie comes across as having more integrity than some celebrities and a greater sense that she doesn’t just do this for the publicity,” the director of the Feinstein International Famine Centre at Tufts University told Reuters news service.

POP

Angelina is an obvious choice as a respected celebrity humanitarian - although how the hell she gets anything done with four kids around is beyond me. I mean anything. Having time to brush her teeth, watch the news to know which countries are in crisis, anything! Some say that she’s got a team of nannies, but four kids must be demanding even if you have four nannies.

It also seems a little unfair to brand Madonna for adopting David Banda without following protocol, mostly because Malawi doesn’t seem to have a protocol for adoption. It is hard to bring a foreign child into your home and raise it, Madonna didn’t just adopt the kid for fashion, he’ll be around for the rest of her life.

It’s interesting that even after years of working for the AIDS cause and other issues in Africa, Bob Geldof and Bono still haven’t got the public’s respect.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are shown shopping at a baby store in New Orleans on 12/27/07, thanks to Splash News. Shiloh and Zahara are still young enough to need something from a baby shop so it might not mean they’re preparing for a new arrival by plane or hospital, although the tabloids are sure to make something of it. Thanks to Splash News.

Some people are just inherently classy, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll say to them, “Hey, why don’t you relax, be a little more casual, you’re getting borderline uptight with all of your sophistication. Come mingle with the commoners.” Porn star/former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey is just such a lady. Not content with organizing a bake sale, Carey has decided to auction off her recently-removed 36-D implants and donate part of the money to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. The rest of the funds will go towards paying her mother’s medical bills. She jumped off a four-story building in 2006, and obviously suffered major injuries. She’s had 11 surgeries since then.

So far the bidding is at $210 with 44 bids. There’s a little over eight days left. The eBay listing notes:

Have a very “Mary” Christmas and win the best stocking stuffer of all time. Mary Carey… is giving holiday shoppers an opportunity to take home what could be the seasons’ best stocking stuffer - her recently removed breast implants.

“Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state,” said Carey. “I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.”

[From eBay]

Mary is one of the participants on VH1’s upcoming “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. “ VH1 hasn’t said what addictions each of the participants is dealing with. But apparently the breast implants have to do with her sobriety… and her mother… Carey gives a rather convoluted reason that I could interpret several ways, if I wanted to sit around and try to get into her head.

“I’m actually overall very anti-plastic surgery,” Carey said. “I watched my mom go through 11 surgeries (for her injuries) and it’s like, for me to voluntarily put myself through that, the only right thing to do is make money and donate it to charity.” Carey said the size 36-D implants were taken out two weeks ago and replaced with larger 36-DDDs and while under anesthesia she realized they could be used to raise money for breast cancer research. “The doctors asked me what I wanted to do with them and I said, ‘You know what, I’m going to keep them and try to sell them. Because my grandmother had breast cancer,” Carey told Reuters in an interview. “Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state. I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.”

[From Gossip Boulevard]

Oh my. I don’t know what I can add to that. I guess it’s a good thing that maybe her heart is in the right place? Probably? Considering the whole situation with her mother, I really don’t feel like I should be making jokes. So I’m just trying to present the statements Mary has given, with as little commentary as possible. Wikipedia notes that Mary’s mother has Fetal alcohol syndrome, and IMDB says she’s also been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Mary’s father has s cerebral palsy. Her grandparents got custody of her when she was three months old and later adopted her. Eventually her mother came to live with them as well. I have no idea to what extent porn stars are honest about their pasts and what’s invented, but the general story on the internet is that Mary’s grandparents put her in dance classes, in which she excelled and performed with the Miami City Ballet when she was 12. She won several dance scholarships, and ended up at Florida State University’s dance team. Her grandparents both got sick and she started working as a stripper, and then a porn star, to support the family. Depending on its accuracy, it’s an interesting and sad story. Never thought I’d say this, but it makes me hope Mary Carey’s implants fetch a lot of money. Bid away, readers.

The guy who founded the Duty Free shops, Chuck Feeney, 76, wears a watch worth $15, flies coach, and doesn’t own a house or even a car. You might not have heard of him because he keeps a low profile and is pretty humble about not just his wealth but his extreme philanthropy.

Feeney is living a simple life not only so others can “simply live,” but so that he can make a huge difference in the world, all without taking much credit or wanting people to notice. He went to great lengths to keep his identity secret when he first started giving away his money, and was only revealed as one of the world’s greatest philatropists when it became inevitable. He has donated more than $4 billion through a charitable foundation he founded with shares of his own company to keep his name out of the press.

Feeney, an Irish-American with dual citizenship, earned his wealth through the old fashioned desire to work hard. He is giving it all away using the philosophy that he can’t take it with him:

Rather, his frugality — the plastic bag that served as a briefcase, the drugstore reading glasses, his $15 plastic watch — stemmed from an urgent desire to take the fortune that he sacrificed years of his life making and give it, nearly every cent, away. For nearly 15 years, this entrepreneur and silent benefactor wasn’t even working for himself anymore: He had secretly transferred his share of the company that he co-founded and ran to his offshore foundation. It would become one of the biggest and most unusual philanthropic feats in history. But it came with one ironclad caveat: that no one should ever know his name.

To keep his identity secret, he went to obsessive lengths, incorporating his charitable foundation in Bermuda and attaching highly lawyered confidentiality agreements and cabal-like vows of secrecy to his foundation’s grants. After the cashier’s checks cleared, there were no black-tie galas, no self-effacing speeches.

It seemed like something out of Charles Dickens. Yet for more than a decade, New Jersey-born airport-gift-shop magnate Charles F. Feeney pulled it off, even concealing the fact of his giving from his longtime business partner. It was only when his Duty Free Shoppers was sold, in 1997, that the full extent of his largesse became clear. The shares that he had transferred 13 years earlier fetched $1.6 billion when the company was sold. Because Feeney, now 72, donated his stake in the company nearly 20 years ago, he doesn’t qualify for inclusion in our ranking, although a gift of $1.6 billion today would land him at No. 4 on this year’s list of the most generous philanthropists.

Chuck Feeney may be an extreme case, but he’s far from alone in wanting to shield himself from the public’s view. Operating alongside philanthropic superstars such as William H. Gates III and George Soros is a seldom-glimpsed group of contributors — people who prefer to remain in the shadows rather than having their names carved in stone.

[From Businessweek.com via Mercola.com]

While celebrities wear $700 shoes and carry purses worth more than some people in third world countries make in several years, Chuck Feeney realizes that those things are meaningless and that in the end we’ll all be equal anyway. He carries his papers in a plastic bag, and uses the subway. As for why he eschews material goods and gives all his money away he uses an old Gaelic proverb: “There are no pockets on a shroud.”

There’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things, or with announcing it when you do something good for others, but there’s something so admirable about people that don’t want attention or recognition for the wonderful things they do.

Feeney’s foundation is called The Atlantic Philantropies, and strives to make a difference through funding programs for disadvatanged children and for public health throughout the world.

Header image from Time.com

I’ve only been doing this “Good Celebrity” thing for a week or two now, and there were a few days I forgot about it and all, but Shakira is already being nominated for the “Good Celebrity” hall of fame. I freaking love her now. Why? Because she started charitable foundation, Latin America in Solidarity Action, that has donated $40 million to aid victims of a hurricane in Nicaragua and an earthquake in Peru. And she created the foundation with the amazing writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

“A charitable foundation set up by Colombian pop star Shakira has donated $40 million (£19.6 million) to help victims of natural disasters. The money will go towards repairing damage caused by an earthquake in Peru and a hurricane in Nicaragua.

“A further $5 million (£2.46 million) will be spent on health and education in four Latin American countries. The singer made the announcement at a New York summit on climate change organised by ex-President Bill Clinton.

“Shakira, who has sold more than 50 million albums worldwide, will also host a discussion on youth activism at the Clinton Global Initiative on Saturday. Her foundation, Latin America in Solidarity Action, was set up with fellow Colombian and Nobel Prize laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez, in a bid to combat the deaths of children.

“Shakira also fronts a charity to help children who are victims of violence.”

[From the BBC]

Um, what doesn’t Shakira do that’s not awesome? I can’t think of anything. I used to be kind of so-so on her music, but now I’ve decided that everything she touches turns to gold, and thus her music is perfection too. Plus she’s smart, spunky, and takes college courses in her spare time. And the other day, I was walking by this cliff, and there was a bus full of school children teetering precariously, about to fall off, and Shakira came along with her magic lasso of awesomeness, tied it around the bus, and whisked them off to safety. Then she delivered three babies and planted some trees in the just-demolished forest. This is all completely true; I saw it with my own, non-exaggerating eyes. Shakira = Wonder Woman.

Despite all the events she attends for the sake of saving the world, Angelina Jolie just wasn’t the right person to represent the serious St. John clothing brand and they have replaced her as their spokesperson. OK! Magazine quotes an insider as saying the conservative rich old ladies that usually buy their clothes weren’t quite pleased with seeing Angelina wearing them. (At least that’s how I interpreted it.)

Though reps for the fashion label say that no decision has been reached, OK! has exclusively learned that Angelina Jolie has been replaced as the face of St. John, for whom she’d been modeling since September 2005.

“Putting celebrities in campaigns is the biggest trend right now, everyone is doing it, but it didn’t work for St. John with Angelina,” a fashion industry insider explains to OK!. “The people that wear St. John just didn’t relate to her.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Angelina made some good points at the Clinton Global Initiative annual meeting in NY yesterday. She’s trying to get funding for children’s education through the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, which she represents. She said that the cost of just 8 hours of the war in Iraq could provide education for 150,000 children. She was unveiling a plan to educate a million refugee and at risk children through the UN:

Hollywood star Angelina Jolie called for the world to get its “priorities in order” Wednesday, saying that the amount of money spent in Iraq in just a few hours could educate thousands of children.

“To put things into perspective and maybe help to understand why we maybe need to adjust the way we’re doing things in the world, the conflict in Iraq has displaced over four million people,” Jolie told reporters in New York.

She said an appeal by UNICEF, the UN’s fund for children, and the UN High Commissioner for Refugees to address the educational needs of many of those children was dwarfed by the cost of US military spending in Iraq.

“The entire appeal equals about eight hours of current spending in Iraq. So just a few hours would send 150,000 children to school,” she said.

“Nothing wins more hearts and minds and nothing gives more freedom than education and nothing is a better deterrent for conflict than an educated child,” she added, urging the world to get its “priorities in order.”

Jolie, who as well as being an Oscar-winning actress is a UN goodwill ambassador, was unveiling an almost 150-million-dollar programme to help educate one million children in conflict, refugee and emergency situations.

[AFP.google.com]

Angelina probably doesn’t give a shit if St. John is replacing her. She’s got plenty of money and more important things to work on. Good for her for breaking the cost of the war down into cost vs. benefits, because it’s much more reasonable to spend money on education and healthcare.

Meanwhile Brad Pitt is working on his own philanthropy. He pledged $5 million in matching contributions to the Make it Right project in New Orleans, which aims to build 150 affordable sustainable homes for residents displaced by flooding.

Update: St. John says that this report is not true, and that Angelina is still representing their line.

Angelina is shown at the Clinton Global Initiative in NY on Wednesday. Thanks to PRPhotos.