We just heard that Sean Penn was working his rough martyr act on a newly separated Scarlett Johansson, which her rep denies, saying they’ve been “friends for years.” Whether that involves benefits is something most of us would rather not imagine. A report in Mike Walker’s column in the National Enquirer has Penn getting busy with “friend” Charlize Theron, who seems much more his speed to me. (read: arrogant) It all went down supposedly at the same place Sean is rumored to have bedded Scarlett, the Chateau Marmont.

Spotted in the Chateau Marmont garden totally drunk – on each other, that is: Oscar winners Sean Penn and Charlize Theron, who’ve reportedly been dating very secretly – until now, that is! My Chateau spy, who made the gossip bust [saw] the starry-eyed pair… as they nuzzled, snuggled, kissed and cooed under a Hollywood moon while late-night partying with pals. A snitch in the group tattled: “Sean and Charlize have been good friends for years. But now that neither is in a relationship, their friendship has blossomed into full-blown romance. They aren’t ready to go totally public yet, but are spending lots of private time together!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, February 21, 2011]

What is the appeal of this guy? He’s a douche of the highest order. Shouldn’t he be back in Haiti complaining about how he’s the only one who can make a difference because no one else gets as pissed off as he does? Instead he just hangs out at a hotel bar, waiting to lure whichever starlet will get drunk enough that night to think he’s a worthy prospect. Look at that face. That would take some heavy duty beer goggles.

Charlize is shown on 12/6/10. Sean is shown on 1/22/1. Credit: WENN.com

What’s the general consensus on Charlize Theron? I think she’s beautiful, of course, and I always look forward to seeing her on a red carpet, but I don’t really have any affection for her. She seems like a bitch – in a good way, I suppose. She seems like she’s not interested in playing on our heartstrings or being America’s Sweetheart or being accessible. Anyway, since Charlize’s split with Stuart Townsend earlier this year, she’s been rumored to be dating everyone from Keanu Reeves to Jeremy Renner. No one has really stuck to her, though, but this new guy could get interesting. According to In Touch Weekly, Charlize and Sean Penn went on a date a few weeks ago. Allegedly, they’re close friends and Sean helped her get through her breakup with Stuart. Hm…

Tongues were wagging when Sean Penn and Charlize Theron walked into Via Veneto for dinner in Santa Monica on August 5. According to a pal, the pair have been friends for years, and Sean, 50, has been there for Charlize, 35, lending her a shoulder to cry on.

“He helped her through her split with Stuart [Townsend],” says the pal. Although an insider says the two are not dating, Charlize and Sean were being cute and flirty throughout the meal.

And Sean “thinks she’s beautiful, and she thinks he’s brilliant.”

[From In Touch Weekly]

Well, we know that Sean has a thing for icy blondes, so I’ll buy that Charlize is his type. But is Sean really Charlize’s type? I’ve always seen her as more interested in the beefcake type. Someone pretty that she can get high with. Is Sean that dude? Not really. If I had to guess about this whole story, I’d say that they probably did have dinner, and it was possibly romantic, but we’re not looking at the next hot couple here. It’s probably just friendship and maybe some hot sex, dirty sex. Besides, last I heard, Sean was still dating a 20-something model named Jessica White.

Charlize Theron has a sexy pictorial for the September issue of Elle Russia. I guess Julia Roberts doesn’t sell in Moscow? But neither does Charlize – she didn’t make the cover, despite this ass-tastic pictorial. Seriously, how crazy is Charlize’s body? It should be against the law. In the one shot of Charlize looking at herself in the mirror, for a second I was like, “Oooh, is that cellulite? A chink in the armor?!?” But it’s not cellulite. It’s just a great, perfect ass. Charlize kills me.

Anyway, I have no idea what Charlize is promoting, other than her bodacious ass. She doesn’t have any films coming out this year. I haven’t even heard any good gossip about her lately. A few months ago, it was all about how she might be dating post-split from Stuart Townsend. There were rumors of Keanu Reeves and Jeremy Renner, but nothing really happened (publicly). Is she singling and mingling? Is she in the market for some rich Russian piece, a la Naomi Campbell? Is this Elle pictorial Charlize’s equivalent of a personal ad? Could be.

Elle Russia photos courtesy of HuffPo and Celebuzz.

Can I admit something weird? I’m listening to Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” on repeat as I write this, and it’s f-cking awesome. I love this song, and it strangely goes with this story. So… People Magazine is reporting that Charlize Theron and Ryan Gosling are maybe/probably hooking up. It was in People’s print edition, via Wonderwall and LaineyGossip, who have the most important details – Ryan, Charlize, flirting, dancing, exchanging digits. Damn, that Charlize bitch gets all the good hookups.

Charlize Theron sure seems to be making the most of her single status. The Oscar-winning looker, who kicked longtime love Stuart Townsend to the curb in January, was spied trading digits with Ryan Gosling after they slow-danced together at a Los Angeles shindig a few days back, reports People magazine.

The easy-on-the-eyes pair was said to be “super-flirty” and “beyond giddy.”

Charlize, 34, was last seen sharing a hug with Keanu Reeves after a dinner date in Los Angeles, while the swoon-inducing actor, 29, appeared oh-so-affectionate with his “Blue Valentine” co-star Michelle Williams at the Cannes Film Festival. Michelle, however, was quick to deny romance whispers, and Ryan’s rep downplayed, “He is cozy with everyone!”

[From Wonderwall]

Is this a total love match? Eh. I think they’re both beautiful, obviously, but I’ve always wondered if Charlize is a mega-bitch in real life. And Ryan? He seems like a decent guy to fans and coworkers, but he also seems self-absorbed (to me, at least). Why do you think “You’re So Vain” fits so well? “You had me several years ago and I was still quite naïve, when you said that we made such a pretty pair and that you would never leave…” Sigh… clouds in my coffee. Can you tell how tired I am? Anyway, my guess is that they are hooking up, that it’s really hot, but that it won’t last. Although Charlize surprised me consistently with Stuart Townsend – they seemed to really care about each other, and they were more stable than most married couples. Maybe she’s looking to settle down with The Gosling.

“Some underworld spy or a wife of a close friend, wife of a close friend…” Sorry, I love that line too.

Oh, this is good rumor! TMZ is trying to make like Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves were all over each other as they exited a restaurant last night. TMZ has video of the two of them kissing goodnight (here) and a photo of Charlize’s arms wrapped around Keanu, under his jacket. Eh. Is that proof that they’re boning? Could be. Charlize is single now, to my knowledge. She and Stuart Townsend split in January, and since then she’s only really been associated with Jeremy Renner as far as romantic gossip goes. So it could be happening.

Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron didn’t just share a romantic dinner at a Beverly Hills restaurant last night — they also shared a really intimate goodbye hug and kiss on the way out.
As the two walked out of Bouchon restaurant, the two locked in a really snug embrace and then tenderly swapped some cheek kisses.

It wasn’t exactly a makeout session — but it wasn’t the way you’d send off your grandmother either.

UPDATE: More evidence — when they hugged each other goodbye, Charlize’s hands are clearly UNDER KEANU’S JACKET!

[From TMZ]

Now, Charlize and Keanu are pretty close friends, by most accounts. They worked together in Sweet November and The Devil’s Advocate, and have always spoken highly of each other. Could love bloom amongst friends? Sure. However, I don’t think Charlize is Keanu’s type. He seems to go for brunettes with an edge, if I’m remembering his dating history correctly. Most likely they’re probably just affectionate friends. But we’ll see.

Here are some photos of Charlize and Keanu. I also threw in one of her and Renner.

In the lead-up to the Oscars, there was significant buzz about who Jeremy Renner might be bangin’/dating. My money was on Charlie “Rose Boobs” Theron, who Renner has been friends with for several years. That is, until People Magazine reported that Renner and Jessica Simpson had been seen “flirting up a storm” at a pre-Oscar party, and that they had exchanged digits. Then, to make matters even more complicated, The Daily Mail reported over the weekend that Renner and Rose Boobs were definitely an item! So much confusion over Jeremy – it’s like people don’t understand that he’s my pocket (imaginary) boyfriend. Anyway, it seems that Jeremy denied the Jessica Simpson rumors when he spoke to Us Weekly:

The Hurt Locker star Jeremy Renner is squashing a report that he recently made the moves on singer Jessica Simpson.

People.com reported that at a recent cocktail party for his movie at the L.A. home of Madonna’s manager Guy Oseary, Renner, 39, “spent the night hitting on Jessica like crazy. They were really flirting up a storm.”

But Renner – who brought his mom to the Oscars Sunday – told UsMagazine.com Sunday at the Governor’s Ball that he only met Simpson, 29, for “three minutes.”

“Her hair stylist [Ken Paves] did my mom’s hair so we were talking about that — and then all of a sudden we’re dating!” he told Us.

Asked if he’s seeing anyone, he told Us, “I’m single — and looking!”

But that doesn’t mean he’s a Hollywood player.

“I’m not a ladies man!” Renner told Us. “I’m a working man! That’s all.”

[From Us Weekly]

Oh, he’s “single and looking” is he? Look no further, pocket boyfriend! I’m not very tall (I‘m like 5‘6“), so I won’t tower over you like Rose Boobs. Of course, that’s not the only difference between me and Rose Boobs. But we can figure that stuff out later!

But seriously, poor Jessica. I was really hoping the rumor was true, just because I think Jeremy and Jess would be really, really cute together. It just seemed to make some kind of crazy sense. Turns out it was just some Ken Paves conspiracy. But how cute is it that Paves did Jeremy’s mom’s hair? Aw…

Honest to God, this is the first I’m hearing of it, but it looks like this rumor has been floating around for a few weeks. It involves Charlize Theron and her recent (as yet unverified) split with Stuart Townsend, and how she and Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner have been spotted all over Los Angeles looking very close. Bitch! I can’t believe Charlize is trying to steal my man! In truth, there’s just a hodge-podge of anecdotal reports about Charlize and Jeremy hanging out, and there’s absolutely no proof that they’re anything but friends. But still, when you look at these photos, it totally seems likely.

So here are the basics: Jeremy and Charlize have been friends “for years” – probably ever since they filmed North Country together, back in 2004-05. Charlize, being a good friend and an Oscar-winning actress, decided to hostess some events for Jeremy and The Hurt Locker team, most likely events for Academy voters. People Magazine noted that at one of those events, a guest said that “Charlize and Jeremy palled around and hung out for a while.” People also noted that Jeremy and Charlie “recently stepped out for drinks at The Foundry on Melrose in L.A., where they were ‘extremely comfortable together,’ an onlooker says. So, are they an item? According to a source, ‘they’re just really close friends.’”

Next piece of information? The denial! Jeremy told People (via Starpulse) that he and Charlize are “just friends. We’re crazy about each other. I can go hang out with her and play her piano and sip Scotch.” Goddamn it! He drinks Scotch?!? I bet he watches NCIS too! He really is the perfect imaginary boyfriend, minus the whole “he’s probably bangin’ a blonde Oscar-winning bombshell who would likely shank me” stuff.

Anyway, the final piece of information that I am obsessively collecting to “prove” that Jeremy and Charlize could be a couple: Charlize is going to the Oscars as a presenter and as Jeremy’s cheerleader, according to PopSugar. They think something’s up too! Damn it, why does Charlize get the hot guys? Oh, right. That whole blonde bombshell thing. Right.

About a year ago, there was some major rumblings that Charlize Theron and her longtime partner/boyfriend Stuart Townsend were on the verge of splitting. The couple has been together since 2001, and they are generally considered one of the most solid, low-key couples in Hollywood. So any sort of gossip about them is generally juicy – however, last year’s report was false, as Charlize and Stuart spent most of 2009 being pretty solid like always. Well, any year, another breakup rumor. Unlike last year’s rumor, this one does not involve Charlize being a bitch and Stuart having enough. This time it’s Charlize who allegedly had enough, and Stuart is maybe desperate to get back with her. Here’s more from The Daily Mail:

For a lad from the outskirts of Dublin, Stuart Townsend seemed to have it all – a long-term relationship with one of the most stunning women in Hollywood, whose box-office clout brought in the millions. But now his nine-year romance with Oscar winner Charlize Theron, previously considered one of the most stable unions in showbusiness, has come to an end.

The stunning 5ft 11in South African has told close friends that she decided to split from the Irish actor following a Christmas trip to Mexico and has since stopped wearing the antique ‘commitment ring’ that Townsend gave her as a symbol of their relationship.

A friend of the actress said last night: ‘Stuart is gutted but Charlize said that she realised during the Mexican holiday that the relationship was over. They had become more like brother and sister than lovers. It was she who ended it.’

While Ms Theron can command more than £8million a movie, 27-year-old Townsend’s career has been less successful. Even amid his relationship break-up he left the cast of Kenneth Branagh’s blockbuster Thor because of so-called ‘creative differences’. It was his second big-budget movie setback, after being dumped from the career-defining role of Aragorn in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy in favour of Viggo Mortensen.

‘Charlize has remained in their main home in the Hollywood Hills, which is in her name, and he’s moved all his stuff into their Malibu beach home that they own together,’ the source said. ‘They are sorting out their finances at the moment, as they have been together for so long that many of their financial affairs are intertwined. Charlize has never made a big deal of it, but the truth of the matter is that she has been the major breadwinner. She truly loved Stuart but the relationship ran its course. He is heartbroken but she is insisting it is all over.’

To underline the point, the 34-year-old has ditched the Victorian ring depicting forget-me-nots that Townsend had given her.

She previously described it as ‘very, very precious’, adding: ‘Stuart gave it to me as a sign of our commitment to each other. I never take it off.’

But she was not wearing it during last weekend’s Hope For Haiti telethon, nor when she arrived at the Spago restaurant in Los Angeles on Wednesday night to celebrate her mother Gerda’s 57th birthday. As she arrived at the celebrity restaurant, she refused to answer questions about the relationship.

And when a Mail on Sunday reporter approached her at her £2.5million four-bedroom home and asked about the split, she snapped: ‘That’s crazy.’

But the source added: ‘Charlize said she was surprised the story hadn’t come out yet. But she didn’t confirm it because she wanted to break the news in her own time.’

Charlize – whose latest film The Road opened in the UK this month – once said: ‘Living with another actor, you always feel guilty if things are going your way and it’s not going that way for the other person.’

In a recent interview Townsend said he considered Charlize to be his wife, even though the two never had a wedding.

He said: ‘I’m married. I didn’t do a church wedding or anything but we consider ourselves husband and wife. We love each other and we want to spend our lives together. I don’t need a certificate or the state or the church to say otherwise.’

He added: ‘I found this old Victorian ring with little forget-me-nots. I gave it to her as a sign of our commitment to each other. She’s never taken it off.’

Last night a spokeswoman for Ms Theron said: ‘I never comment on her personal life,’ while Townsend’s spokesman did not respond to calls for comment.

[From The Daily Mail]

I know I’m crazy, but there’s part of that thinks that this might be partially true. I could see Charlize and Stuart breaking up simply because they had grown apart, and not because of some kind of major scandal. I also noticed that for the past few weeks, Charlize has been photographed a lot solo, or with her mom – much more than she usually is. I’m not sure what that means, but it could mean something. She looks upset in many of the photos too – although, that could just be her normal face when the paparazzi are photographing her. So… does this mean Charlize and Stuart are back on the market? I call dibs on Stuart. He’s lovely.

Charlie & Stuart at the LA premiere of ‘The Road’ on November 4, 2009, one of the last times they were photographed together. Credit: WENN. Charlize and her mom leaving Spago in LA on January 27, 2010. Credit: WENN and PER/Fame Pictures.

Last week, Jaybird threw up the link for the story about Charlize Theron auctioning off her kiss for $140,000 at a San Francisco event. Charlize ended up kissing one lucky (and rich) lady for 20 seconds as the audience counted down. The whole thing was for charity – the money benefits the OneXOne Foundation, which works on poverty issues in Africa, specifically “water, hunger, healthcare, education and play”. This woman that Charlize made out with was actually bidding on a rather amazing package deal: a 2010 trip to South Africa, tickets to the World Cup, a safari, and a meet-and-greet with Nelson Mandela. Unfortunately for all involved, it seems that Charlize didn’t get Mandela’s permission for such a deal. And now Mandela is refusing to meet with the high bidder! Ruh-roh.

The Nelson Mandela Foundation has accused actress Charlize Theron of selling a meeting with the former leader without permission.

Oscar-winning Theron, 34, raised £85,500 for charity last week by auctioning the chance to visit her native South Africa and meet the elderly former president. The sale hit the headlines when the actress agreed to kiss the highest bidder during a charity gala event in San Francisco.

Images were beamed around the world of Theron locking lips with the lucky female winner, who was due to travel to meet Mr Mandela, 91, during a trip timed to coincide with next year’s football World Cup.

But today a spokesman for the frail former freedom fighter said the meeting might not be possible because Theron had not sought permission from Mr Mandela before arranging the auction.

Achmat Dangor, chief executive of the Nelson Mandela Foundation, said: ‘There is a very rigorous process that is followed to secure a meeting with Mr Mandela, and as yet, we have not have had any such request from Charlize Theron.’

The winning bidder at the OneXOne auction may now be told she cannot meet Mr Mandela. Officials said the Foundation would consider any future request received from Theron, but that nothing was certain.

Mr Mandela, who turned 91 in July, has now fully retired from public life and only grants personal audiences to a tiny proportion of those who request them. His spokesman said he did not usually agree to be offered in charity auctions.

Mr Dangor added: ‘It should also be noted that even the charities that he created have never auctioned off time with Mr Mandela. We nevertheless wish Ms Theron well in her charity work.’

Theron is South Africa’s most famous Hollywood actress. She was born on a farm near the town of Benoni in South Africa’s Gauteng province and hit fame in the 1990s with a string of roles in films including The Cider House Rules and The Devil’s Advocate.

In 2004 she received a heroine’s welcome from Mr Mandela when she returned to South Africa after winning a ‘Best Actress’ Oscar for her role in the film Monster. Unable to control her emotion as she shook hands with the veteran freedom fighter in Johannesburg, she burst into tears and told him: ‘I love you so much.’

Despite Mr Mandela’s frail state, his Foundation continues to run charitable and community projects around the world. The former African National Congress activist continues to make occasional public appearances and statements. He lives in Johannesburg with his third wife Graca Machell.

[From The Daily Mail]

First of all, Charlize is an idiot to auction off a meeting with Mandela without his permission. That’s just rude. Secondly, Charlize is going to have to scramble to make it up to this high-bidder woman. Sure, it’s nice to make out with Charlize (I guess, but whatever, she seems like an ice princess to me), and it would be nice to go on a safari and see the World Cup and everything, but I’m sure that woman was really looking forward to meeting Mandela. That would be the only reason I would ever bid on such an item.

Speaking of Mandela, did anyone watch Endgame on PBS this past weekend? Between Jonny Lee Miller (as Michael Young) and Chiwetel Ejiofor (as President Mbeki), I was getting hot flashes as I learned about the secret talks to end apartheid. Good stuff!

Charlize Theron is so pro-gay rights, she’s comparing anti-gay-marriage laws and initiatives to apartheid. Charlize, as many know, was born and raised in South Africa during the “Grand Apartheid”, the last gasp of the white, colonial power’s institutionalized and codified racism and bigotry on the “native” population.

This isn’t the first time Charlize has spoken out about gays rights in general, or gay marriage rights in particular. She’s one of the most outspoken celebrities speaking out about gay rights, but this is the furthest I’ve ever seen her go. Charlize says “I don’t like living in an elitist world, it bothers me. I don’t want to be part of an elitist sexual preference. Maybe it’s because I come from a country where I lived under apartheid. This is a form of apartheid and I don’t want to be a part of that.” She might have a point:

South African-born actress Charlize Theron calls US marriage laws “a form of apartheid”. The Oscar winner and Dior model said, “I don’t like living in an elitist world, it bothers me. I don’t want to be part of an elitist sexual preference. Maybe it’s because I come from a country where I lived under apartheid. This is a form of apartheid and I don’t want to be a part of that.”

Theron was referring to the “Grand Apartheid” laws in her native country, which segregated whites and non-whites. The laws prevented non-whites from marrying whites or holding white jobs. Harsh criminal penalties were imposed on civil protestors of the apartheid laws, with thousands of people tortured, sentenced to death, or banished.

The most famous face of apartheid is Nelson Mandela, who received a life sentence for treason but was finally freed in 1990, and went on to win a Nobel Peace Prize in 1993.

Theron has been dating super-hot boyfriend Stuart Townsend for years, and the couple have said in the past that they refused to get married until same-sex marriage was legal in the United States.

‘It’s not the reason I’m not getting married but it’s maybe a part of it,” Theron said. “My ability to get married is a piece of me that I wish I could give to somebody who it would mean so much to. We should all have the chance. It’s just so caveman, I can’t believe we’re still talking about it.’

[From The San Francisco Gay & Lesbian Examiner

I really wonder what Nelson Mandela would think of this - comparing his struggle to the gay marriage rights struggle. I support gay marriage rights, but looking at the issue from a purely political stance, I could see how Charlize’s statements could be taken the wrong way, and could end up bothering many people. However, those same people who will be bothered are the same people who are basically telling gays and lesbians that they are less than a heterosexual person, that they don’t deserve the same rights and privileges. You tell people to sit at the back of the bus long enough, someone’s going to call you on it.

Here’s Charlize Theron at the Christian Dior show during Paris Fashion Week on March 6th. Images thanks to WENN.com .