Thank God Jennifer Lopez is not such a self-absorbed diva that she thinks the world actually revolves around her. Wait, what? TMZ is reporting that the hospital where J-Lo is expected to give birth has been running anti-kidnapping drills in anticipation of her twins’ arrival. Though they don’t come out and actually say it, I’m pretty sure they’re doing it on J-Lo’s orders.

TMZ has learned that the Long Island hospital where J.Lo will probably give birth to her twins is practicing “pink drills” — code for thwarting a possible kidnapping.

Sources at North Shore Medical Center tell TMZ the hospital conducted a “Code Pink” drill last Friday — “Code Pink” is code for locking down the hospital to prevent a kidnapping attempt.

A rep for North Shore confirmed that the pink drill did indeed go down, but said that the timing is just a coincidence, but that’s not what our sources are saying.

[From TMZ]

Code Pink doesn’t sound nearly as effective as Code Black or even Code Blue. They need to pick scarier sounding colors to thwart kidnappers, that’s step number one. Something tells me that J-Lo and Skeltor will probably have their own private security at the hospital anyway… and the odds are pretty good they’re sticking the kids with little GPS chips as soon as they cut the cord.

I have no idea if this is normal for hospitals when famous people have babies. Maybe they all do it. One would hope that they all run drills consistently for the sake of all their patients, since no one baby is more valuable than the other. Though to be fair, J-Lo is having two babies, so I guess by that logic they’re twice as valuable. Seriously though, are her kids at any greater risk of being kidnapped than other celeb babies? You know at least one of them is going to be born all inside-out looking like their father. That’s a good crime deterrent right there.

Here’s J-Lo and Marc Anthony at Madonna’s “Raising Malawai” event on February 6th.

It is officially impossible to tell who won the birth-off between Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie. It was confirmed by People around 6:00 p.m. PST yesterday that Nicole had given birth to a daughter and was on her way home. No word on what time the baby arrived. It’s also being confirmed by about half the celeb websites that Christina Aguilera also gave birth yesterday, sometime around 4:00 p.m. PST. Yet a few places are reporting that Aguilera’s rep says she’s still pregnant. Frankly considering how long Christina kept mum about being pregnant in the first place, I won’t necessarily believe what a rep says. According to E!, Fox News, and Star, Christina gave birth yesterday afternoon at Cedars-Sinai.

Suddenly there’s a whole new meaning to “Come On Over Baby” for Christina Aguilera. The five-time Grammy winner and hubby Jordan Bratman welcomed their first child in Los Angeles on Friday.

The couple announced the birth in a quick text message to friends and family around 4 p.m.: “Baby has arrived. Mom and dad are doing well!” (Apparently not even the prospect of dirrty diapers can dampen their spirits.)

There were no further details immediately available. “As soon as I have more information I will let you know,” the singer’s rep said.

Christina Aguilera, 27, reportedly delivered her baby on Friday, Jan. 11, at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, the same hospital that Nicole Richie had her baby girl Harlow Winter Kate Madden just hours earlier.

[From E! News]

I think it’s pretty likely Christina did in fact have the baby yesterday, and is keeping it quiet. I doubt it’s for privacy’s sake – if anything, it increases the attention. Which is probably the point. It’s thought Christina is having a boy, since she had a blue-themed baby shower. Hopefully we’ll hear something official in the next few hours.

Update by Celebitchy: Christina Aguilera had a baby boy, but not Friday as some outlets reported. Her rep confirms to People that she had a boy named Max Liron Bratman on Saturday night at 10:05 pm and that he weighed in at 6 lbs., 2 oz. and was 20.5 inches tall. Congratulations to Christina and Jordan and welcome Max.

It looks like it’s no longer neck and neck… or in this case uterus and uterus… between who will give birth first, Christina Aguilera or Nicole Richie. Us Weekly is reporting that Nicole, 26, is in labor at Cedars-Sinai right now. Christina was widely believed to be due before Nicole, though these things obviously aren’t an exact science.

Nicole Richie is giving birth. Joel Madden was spotted walking into the delivery area of L.A.’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. He was overheard saying, “She’s going to start pushing soon.”

Bro Benji is also there. She entered the hospital through a secret entrance late Thursday, a source tells Us.

[From Us Weekly]

Us is also reporting that Nicole’s mom Brenda Harvey, dad Lionel Richie, and half-sister, Sophia have arrived at the hospital, and were escorted by security officers. They did erroneously refered to Brenda as Lionel’s wife- the pair divorced in 1993. But I’m going to assume the rest of the report is accurate, and they’re just so excited over at Us Weekly that they can’t focus. I’m really hoping for a birth-off between Christina and Nicole, a la Katie Holmes and Brooke Shields.

UPDATE BY JAYBIRD: Nicole and Joel’s rep at Handprint Entertainment announced that Nicole has given birth to a baby girl and has already left Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with the newborn, a mere hours after arriving. They named their daughter Harlow Winter Kate Madden. She weighed 6 lbs., 7 oz.

“The beautiful healthy baby girl left the hospital with her ecstatic parents,” says the rep, who confirmed the birth to PEOPLE exclusively.

[From People]

Congratulations to Nicole, Joel, and their families!

Several sources, including the always reputable Sun (and several more reputable mags) are reporting that twin-bearing Jennifer Lopez will birth her babies the good ‘ol fashioned Scientology way – it silence. Apparently nothing frightens newborns like the sound of a doctor yelling “Push! Push!” or a mother screaming that she’s going to cut her husband’s penis off for doing this to her. That was, of course, until they realized that the next thing J Lo’s newborns would see will be Marc Anthony’s face. In terms of trauma, you can’t get much worse than that. So I’m guessing the whole silent birth thing is kind of a waste of time. If you really want to give your babies a more peaceful entrance into this crazy worth, I think you might want to consider having Skeletor wait in the lobby. Just a thought.

Jennifer Lopez is following in the footsteps of Katie Holmes by giving birth naturally, quiet, and free from painkillers. Katie was forced to keep quiet during the birth of Suri – her first child with Scientology-fanatic husband Tom Cruise.

J-Lo and husband Marc Anthony are also keen followers of the religion, where it is believed that loud hospital environments, and doctor’s shouts of ‘push push’ can have damaging effects on a newborn later in life.

A pal of the 38-year-old told a US mag: “Although she knows it will be hard not to scream, she understands why it will be good for the baby to have peace and quiet.”

[From the Sun]

Good luck, little babies Lopez-Anthony. Your mom is a crazy, multi-tasking diva, and your father looks like a four-day-old corpse. Something tells me that despite the money and the fame, this world won’t be too kind to the two of you. But psychologically, you’ll be okay; because your mom didn’t scream when she was pushing what I can only assume will be your incredibly angular heads from her body. So while you may inherit your parents’ undeserved sense of accomplishment, self-righteousness and a confusingly emaciated face, psychologically, you’re guaranteed to be completely intact.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s J Lo and Skeletor at the 2007 Movie Rocks awards on December 2nd. Images thanks to PR Photos.