Funny as the headline is, I have to thank Christopher Walken for at least having a butt double. Many a male ego has thought it a good idea to show their butt, when in fact it is not. But Christopher Walken is one of those guys that’s so cool, and with such an intensely loyal following, that I’m pretty sure people would cheer even his bare arse.

Christopher Walken is cracking up - he’s holding auditions for a butt double for his new movie! Producers of Walken’s new movie “Five Dollars a Day” bent over backward to please their star when he refused to go along with a script that called for him to bare his 64-year-old behind. “Are they crazy? I’m an old many now! I’m not going to show my *** on screen anymore for anybody!” Walken reportedly fumed. So execs came up with a solution: a butt double. But Walken has a clause in his contract that guarantees him final casting approval - so he was in the bizarre position of scrutinizing the buttocks that would pass as his own in the movie, said an insider.

The scene outside the casting office turned surreal, said one of the men who applied for the job. “About 10 to 12 men lined up to get Polaroids taken,” said the insider. “We all knew we were being tested for Walken’s stand-in, but that was all we knew.” They got quite a surprise when they were asked to drop trou so a picture could be taken of their buttocks. “This is an audition for Christopher Walken’s butt double,” the staffer announced. The bottom line: There’s got to be a better way to break into showbiz.

[From the National Enquirer, print edition Oct. 22, 2007]

I don’t find that so weird. Whenever I’m auditioning my butt double, I take a bunch of Polaroids. Okay well let’s be honest, I go digital (who the hell uses Polaroids anymore) but it’s still the same premise. I could see why the headline “Be Christopher Walken’s ass” wouldn’t work so well for a casting call. But like I said, the guy’s got quite the following, I’m sure they would have ended up with plenty of asses to choose from.

John Travolta is starring in the remake of “Hairspray,” which opens this Friday. This is his first musical since “Grease” in 1978… and Travolta looks nearly the same. Except that he’s thirty years older and one hundred pounds heavier. And has breasts. So he’s a fat old woman. He plays agoraphobic mother Edna Turnblad, played by transvestite Divine in the original film and Harvey Fierstein in the Broadway version. Apparently Travolta had some serious complaints about the wardrobe… but the fat suit, breasts, and dresses were not the problem.

John Travolta knows a lot about women’s footwear. In fact, when he talks about the shoes he wore in the new movie Hairspray, Travolta reveals more than knowledge - he betrays a sense of passion for the world of footwear fashion.

“It was tough dancing in high heels, but we did change the heels to more of a dance shoe - like a Capezio,” said Travolta during a recent press engagement for the movie, which hits theatres Friday.

“You know, they kept giving me these skinny high heels and it’s, like, ‘OK, I understand those. My mother wore those.’ However, when I was growing up and I saw girls in the chorus, they had a thicker heel and it was a dance shoe and I kept telling them to find these shoes. I knew they existed, and finally, they brought out a shoe and I said, ‘That’s the shoe! Now make it in many colors.’”

[From the Halifax Daily News]

I can imagine it’d be pretty hard to dance well on a thin heel, especially wearing a lot of extra padding. Back in the day I used to tap dance, and it can be a challenge even on a sturdy Capezio shoe. That’s right, I’m hardcore like that. So don’t mess. It’s kind of funny that John Travolta has such an interest in shoes. I’m just saying. Travolta also talked about what it was like to be a woman. “’I was so flirted with, so groped,” he said. “I was convinced I’d have been a slut had I been born a woman. It was like, ‘Go ahead, touch me. I don’t care.’” He also told the New York Daily News “’I love big boobs on a woman… so I wanted Edna to have them. My boobs and butt got a lot of attention on the set. The whole crew kept coming over and groping me. The scary thing is, I liked it.’”

The gay rumors have followed John Travolta around throughout the last few years almost as diligently as they’ve followed Tom Cruise. Travolta just doesn’t seem to sue over them as often. There were a few photos of him kissing a man on the mouth as he boarded a plane a few months ago… but who are we to judge? Women do that and it’s considered fine, so I’m not going to use that as evidence. I’m just saying he’s a friendly fellow. And he has his own plane, so I don’t want to ruin my plan to become his best friend and steal his plane by saying anything defamatory. Anyhoo, I know they said Travolta wore a fat suit, but anyone who has seen him lately probably wonders just how much padding he was really wearing versus how much was natural. I’m sure he was just really getting into character. And there’s no better way to do that than to eat a lot of bacon. Can you imagine if we all had to eat bacon for our jobs? That’s a pretty sweet deal.

I am so excited for “Hairspray.” I’ve been trying to bring musicals back since I first saw the “Sound of Music” as a kid. It seems like my efforts have finally been rewarded, and musicals are here to stay… for now. Ever since Moulin Rouge (I think that was the first recent one, correct me if I’m wrong) brought singing and dancing back into style, there’s been no stopping those buffalo-flapping dancers from breaking out in the movies. I think that dance fashion should take off, just like aerobic fashion took off in the ‘80s. Who doesn’t want to have shoes that click, bright lipstick, and sequined clothing?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here are photos from the movie Hairspray, thanks to Allmoviephoto. John Travolta does make a fabulous woman. Also shown are Allison Janney, Nikki Blonsky, Amanda Bynes, Queen Latifah, Zac Efron, Michelle Pfeiffer, James Marsden, Christopher Walken, Brittany Snow, Elijah Kelley, Taylor Parks, Tabitha Lupien, Hayley Podschun, and Kelly Fletcher.

The Details people e-mailed me some quotes from an upcoming interview with Christopher Walken. The 64 year-old actor admitted that he can’t use a computer and doesn’t want to learn how. He’s such a technophobe that he doesn’t even have a cell phone. He also said that he regularly pulls on his hair at the roots in order to stave off male pattern baldness.

Christopher Walken opens up to Details:
On his career: “I’ve made – I think about a hundred movies. And there’s a good number of them that I’ve never seen. Never.”
On his distinctive style of speech: “Occasionally somebody will say, ‘Could you read that line another way?’ And I just tell ‘em, ‘I’m sorry. I have no idea how to do that.’ And the interesting thing is that the other actors, when that happens to me, they all gang up: ‘What? Leave him alone!’”
On his daily habit of yanking his hair: “Apparently, if you keep your scalp skin loose, you’re more apt to keep your hair. So I just grab it with both hands and yank on it while I’m watching the news.”
On his notorious “More Cowbell” routine from Saturday Night Live: “I was eating at a restaurant in Singapore, and an Asian couple was at the next table, and the guy turned to me and he said, ‘Chris, you know what this salad needs?’ I said, ‘What?’ He said, ‘More cowbell.’”
On not owning a computer: “And I certainly wouldn’t know how to work one. I don’t have a cell phone, either.”
On alien abductions: “I think it’d be a gas if aliens came and said hi. Wouldn’t that be great?”

[Thanks to Details.com]

He’s been in a lot of crappy movies so it’s to be expected that he hasn’t seen many of them.

This man is so eccentric that I’m surprised he’s not into technology. I guess it’s my own personal bias since I’m connected constantly, but I find it really surprising that he doesn’t know how to use a computer and chooses not to have a cell phone. I know an 80-something lady that uses e-mail and the Internet and it’s not like you’re ever too old to learn. It just seems like he’s missing out on an awful lot. Like celebrity blogs full of insightful comments about how he should learn to use a computer.

Here’s Christopher Walken in the FatboySlim “Weapon of Choice” video:

More Cowbell T-shirt from BustedTees. (And they didn’t sponsor that plug, it was just the first one I found.)