I used to find Dolly Parton really tacky. But then I matured and realized just how freaking awesome she is, because she embraces her tack. She works it like a drag queen. In fact she’s acknowledged that she looks like a hooker. And she’s fine with it, and has certainly cultivated a unique persona for herself.

Dolly had a few sassy comments about Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan during her concert Sunday night at Los Angeles’ Greek Theatre. And of course she wasn’t above poking fun at herself either.

Dolly Parton says it’s time to leave a couple of the world’s most famous starlets alone. “Poor little Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan,” Parton said at her concert last night at L.A.’s Greek Theatre. “Ain’t it awful? If those little girls slept with as many men as they say in the tabloids, why their little butts would have more fingerprints than the FBI!” All kidding aside, Parton said, “I kinda feel sorry for them. We should give those two a break.”

She even got a bit political—kinda. Some fans wore T-shirts reading, “Dolly for President.”

“I don’t think so!” Parton said of her presidential aspirations. “I think there have been enough boobs in the White House.” Commenting on how times have changed, she said of this year’s presidential race, “We’ve had a woman, we have a black man and an old stiff.” But that’s as serious as she got when it came to current events. “People are always asking me in interviews, ‘What do you think of foreign affairs?’ I just say, ‘I’ve had a few.’ “

[From E! News]

I think there’s been some debate over whether or not Dolly comes up with her own quips on the spot. I’d like to imagine that she does, and it best fits with my image of her as a sassy old broad. And I don’t care who wrote it, that “fingerprints on their butts” line is classic. I’m going to see how often I can work that into everyday conversation from now on. And if I ever meet Lindsay or Britney, I’m going to have to ask if it’s true. I’m guessing it’s one of those “behind every joke there’s a little truth” situations.

Here’s Dolly Parton at a and greet for her new Broadway show ‘Nine to Five the Musical’ held at the New 42nd Street Studios in New York City on July 15th. Photographer: Joseph Marzullo. Images thanks to WENN.

The Britney Spears Slow Comeback Tour continues. And in Britney’s case, I think a slow, steady, gradual comeback really is best. Britney is going to be on Madonna’s upcoming tour – but in a smaller, digital way. She’s filming something – though no one will really say what – that’s going to be shown at the concerts. And I think that’s a pretty good baby step. She can’t mess up anything that’s pre-recorded. I assume.

Britney Spears will team up with Madonna – virtually – during the singer’s upcoming Sticky & Sweet tour.

“Britney is going to film something for Madonna’s show in the next week or so,” Madonna’s rep, Liz Rosenberg, tells PEOPLE.

As for details about what they will be doing – and where it will be filmed – Rosenberg says, “I don’t know. It’s a secret.”

Contrary to published reports, Spears is not in New York to film the video segments, nor has she already shot anything.

Spears is not expected to perform with Madonna, whose tour kicks off in Wales next month. The U.S. leg of her tour starts Oct. 4 in East Rutherford, N.J.

[From People]

It sounds like Madonna is trying to help Britney out – but in a way that will still work with her perfectionist nature. Brit has really been looking good lately – and appears to be working on her appearance to get back into performing mode. Here she is looking happy (albeit displaying a bit of the bipolar joker grin) as she left a hair salon yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Amy Winehouse was let out of the “virtual prison” that is her home (I say that with marked sarcasm) to perform at the Rock in Rio music festival yesterday. Amy’s record label let her off her leash – or maybe just got one of those invisible fences people use to keep their dogs from wandering – to perform her third concert in a week. By most accounts she did a decent job – but she openly drank red wine throughout her performance. Because having a couple drinks is much, much more important than doing a good job performing for people who spent a lot of money to see you. And it’s more important than your career. Or your life.

Soul diva Amy Winehouse sipped from a glass of red wine and looked a bit unsteady on her feet as she appeared in front of a large audience at the Rock in Rio music festival southeast of Madrid on Friday.

Then, as tens of thousands cheered, she threw off a pair of high stiletto heels in favor of white moccasins, donned a white electric guitar and settled into an intense rendition of some of her best known songs, including “Rehab.”

Winehouse delivered a strong vocal performance accompanied by her octet plus two male backing vocalists.

Once finished at Rock in Rio, she did not stay for an encore and left the outdoor concert venue by helicopter.

[From the Huffington Post]

There’s a new website out there that has people guess when Amy will die. The winner gets an iPod or something. I know it’s meant to be funny, but I think that’s pretty crass. Clearly the girl needs all sorts of help, and it’s hard to have much faith that she’ll be able to get her act together anymore. Every two weeks we hear some proclamation about how she finally gets how badly off she is, and she’s ready to change. And of course nothing comes of it. But there’s a big difference between losing hope and essentially placing a wager on when someone will die.

Here’s Amy Winehouse out in Golders Green looking for her favorite snacks. The troubled singer popped into one shop and was given a gherkin to try, which she smudged on the glass counter – then bizarrely cleaned it off with her rear. Although to be fair, that’s not the weirdest thing we’ve seen her do. Images thanks to Splash.

Update by Celebitchy: Here are photos of Amy drinking on Friday on stage at the Rock in Rio festival. The images Jaybird mentioned are at the end of this set. Thanks to WENN.

And here are the videos, thanks to user tejeral on YouTube:

Rock in Rio Madrid 2008 – Amy Winehouse – Part-1

Rock in Rio Madrid 2008 – Amy Winehouse – Part-2

Rock in Rio Madrid 2008 – Amy Winehouse – Part-3

The Amy Winehouse rollercoaster was up and down again this weekend. She gave what was widely reviewed as a good performance at Nelson Mandela’s birthday celebration on Friday night. Surprise and congrats, right? Well, almost.

On Saturday, Amy performed at the Glastonbury Festival in front of around 80,000 people. That’s right, Amy Winehouse actually showed up for two scheduled gigs in a row. And while she was again said to do a pretty good job with the singing, that all took a nosedive during her performance of Rehab.

Amy walked into the mosh pit (protected to an extent by some sort of anti-crush barrier), where she ended up throwing a couple of punches and elbowing a fan. Yep, the woman who lets fans come right to her door, chats them up, and signs autographs for them will also knock them out, if need be.

Amy Winehouse has returned to the stage at the Glastonbury Festival and appeared to throw a punch at a fan. She lashed out at someone who tried to grab her hair as she finished her set alongside fans in front of the stage, her spokesman said.

Winehouse’s one-hour performance was her first full UK show for seven months. It drew a huge crowd to the Pyramid Stage but split opinion among fans. Her spokesman said at least 75,000 people watched and that organisers had never seen the field so full.

“The ‘lashing out’ was when someone tried to grab her hair and she reacted,” the spokesman said. But footage of the incident did not clearly show what provoked her lunge. The Grammy-winning singer was on fine form and in good voice for most of the set, going some way to dispelling fears about her health.

She jumped down into the security pit for the last two songs, separated from the fans by a crush barrier. “Thanks for your support,” she told them earlier, as she performed tracks such as Cupid, Rehab and Tears Dry on Their Own.

[From the BBC]

CNN reported that one of the fans tried to grab Winehouse’s breast, not her hair. Either way if someone is grabbing at your body, instinct is to get away. Though I’m not sure if punching is necessary. Watching the video, it’s clear that Winehouse is upset, but she seems so wobbly that it’s hard to tell if she’s really lashing out because she’s been attacked, or because she’s drunk or something. Amy does appear to stumble around a bit in some extended versions of the clip, but no one is claiming she seemed out of it during her performance.

I’m guessing if someone was going for Winehouse’s hair, it’s probably just because they saw something dangerous in it; perhaps a preying mantis or some sort of grenade or something. Who knows what the hell could land up there without Amy’s knowledge. She probably just gave a bloody nose to a guy that was trying to save her life.

Here’s Amy performing at the Glastonbury Festival on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN.

Tim McGraw doesn’t need security – he can take care of himself, play a couple instruments, sing a song, and haul an unruly fan on stage and kick him out all without missing a beat. McGraw was performing in Auburn, Washington on Tuesday when he saw a male audience member attack a female. Without missing a beat, McGraw somehow managed to haul the large gentleman on stage and kick him out. And still sing his song. Damn.

If Tim McGraw isn’t looking for trouble, it must’ve been looking for him. Fan video shot Tuesday in Auburn, Wash., shows the country singer help eject an unruly fan.

McGraw shouts “Get rid of this guy,” summons security and helps arriving crew members haul him onstage. When the heavyset fan moves toward McGraw, the singer threatens him with a cocked fist as he’s hauled away.

The band’s performance of “Indian Outlaw” never stopped. And as if on cue, McGraw steps to the mic and picks up with the line “I ain’t lookin’ for trouble … .”

A statement from McGraw’s representative says he witnessed the man rush up and attack a female, and he intervened when security couldn’t respond quickly enough.

[From the Huffington Post]

I’m not one for country music, but damn, that was impressive. I’m seeing the whole genre in a new light now. McGraw must have really learned how to take care of business after that female fan grabbed his balls and wife Faith Hill had to set the woman straight. I’m told nothing will teach a guy how to respond quickly better than having something like that happen.

And there’s video! I now find Tim McGraw remarkably attractive. Header photo of Faith Hill and Tim McGraw leaving the Oscar party held at a Mansion in February. Images thanks to WENN.

Kanye West was not feeling the love this weekend at the Bonnaroo music festival in Tennessee. His late night performance at the festival was delayed for two hours due to circumstances beyond his control, but that didn’t stop concert goers from chanting “Kanye Sucks.” Even though it wasn’t Kanye’s fault that the show was delayed- it was actually because Pearl Jam’s set went an hour long and it took a long time to unload their set and bring on West’s elaborate stage show-fans assumed that the delay must have been due to his notorious diva behavior. See, this is what happens when you regularly act like an egomaniacal jerk.

Kanye West’s late night performance at Bonnaroo was delayed nearly two hours, angering the festival crowd who responded by chanting “Kanye sucks” and pelting the empty stage with glow sticks.

West had been scheduled to take the main stage at the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival at 2:45 a.m. Sunday morning. While the sleepy thousands in the audience waited, a message on the jumbotrons told them West’s show would be delayed until 3:15 a.m., and when that didn’t happen, that he would start at 3:30. West didn’t hit the stage until 4:25 a.m.

The delay was caused by problems setting up West’s elaborate stage set, which included an interplanetary landscape of a wavy black platform with a slanted floor in the middle and a video screen above. West performed a spectacular galactic-themed concert complete with interaction with his spaceship, a disembodied female voice named Jane (a kind of sexier HAL).

Ken Weinstein, a spokesman for the annual festival held on a 700-acre site south of Nashville, said the delay was simply a matter of unloading the Pearl Jam stage (the band went an hour past its scheduled end time, playing until about 1:15 a.m.) and loading the West stage.

The festival, which boasted more than 150 acts spread out over four days, was otherwise very punctual. The West delay was all the worse because of its already very late schedule, and many campers lost energy before the concert and returned to their sleeping bags. Midway through his performance, the morning light showed that the crowd had dwindled substantially.

West had originally been slated to perform at 8:15 p.m. Saturday night, but requested a late night performance. At least in the first hour of his performance, West didn’t address the crowd regarding the delay.

Later Sunday, the Bonnaroo crowd was still upset. Pedal steel guitarist Robert Randolph led a “Kanye sucks” chant.

A spokesperson for West didn’t immediately return a request for comment.

[From Yahoo!]

Given his ridiculous behavior in the past, it’s hard to have sympathy for Kanye on this latest incident, even if the delay wasn’t really his fault. It sounds like the audience didn’t have much good will toward West to begin with. To his credit, though, he does put on a hell of a show. But I wonder if he would have been better off taking the 8:15 p.m. slot right from the beginning. I’m sure his elaborate set wasn’t quite as exciting at 4 in the morning. Also- I guess I am way too old to consider going to one of these festivals, because the idea of staying up all night like that makes me want to go back to bed this morning.

Kanye West is shown performing at the “HOT 97 Summer Jam concert at Giants Stadium in
Rutherford, New Jersey” on 6/1/08, thanks to WENN.

A lot of bad ideas don’t seem like bad ideas until you’re half way through them. Then you think back with that beloved 20/20 hindsight and wish you would have thought whatever it was through a little better. But there are some ideas that are so obviously terrible that you’ve got to wonder what kind of moron would go through with it. Case in point: booking Amy Winehouse to perform at the prestigious concert celebrating Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday.

Nelson Mandela just scored a coup of a birthday guest…that is, if she shows up. Amy Winehouse has officially been added to the lineup of artists set to perform at a special London concert marking the former South African president’s 90th birthday.

In addition to the “Back to Black” singer, Leona Lewis, Queen, Razorlight, Annie Lennox and Shirley Bassey are set to perform at the three-hour June 27 event in Hyde Park, which Mandela himself is set to attend. Proceeds will go toward his 46664 charity, a global campaign to raise awareness of HIV and AIDS.

“We are delighted Amy will be appearing at Hyde Park,” Tim Massey, the international director of the charity named after Mandela’s prison number, said.

The gig—which, fitting with the theme of the night, will have an audience that’s 46,664-strong—will mark Winehouse’s first full set onstage since last November, right before she called off her tour.

[From E! News]

What a fabulous idea. Who better to promote AIDS awareness than a famous IV drug addict? Now in all fairness the likelihood that Winehouse will actually even show up is almost nil. And to further ensure that she makes a fool of herself and increases her reputation as being unreliable, Amy is also scheduled to perform at the Glastonbury Music Festival the next day.

Two high profile concerts in two days? When in the world will she have time to snort and shoot? I can guarandamntee you that at least one of those concerts isn’t going to have Amy Winehouse singing. It might have Amy Winehouse passed out in a porta potty, but singing isn’t going to happen.

Here’s Amy Winehouse arriving at Pentonville Prison to visit her husband Blake ahead of her performance this weekend at the ‘Rock in Rio’ festival in Portugal. I honestly did not cherry pick the worst photos. This is the lot of them. Images thanks to WENN.

I give Madonna a lot of shit. Nine times out of ten, I really can’t stand the woman, what with her fake accent and over-muscleyness. But I gotta hand it to her, Madge makes bank, and I’m pretty sure I’d be willing to trade lives with her… right about….. now. Because it turns out Madonna is set to break another record – she’s being paid $24 million for just two short shows at the end of her current concert tour. As annoying as that is, you’ve got to give the lady props for her business skills.

When Madonna first moved to New York in ’77, she had $35 in her pocket and landed a job at Dunkin’ Donuts. Now the material girl, who will turn 50 in August, is set to make more than $24 million dollars for performing just two gigs in Dubai, where she’s scheduled to end her forthcoming world tour in November. The first show, which the Sun reports may only last about 90-minutes will earn The Queen of Pop roughly $15 million dollars.

The additional $10 million will come from a second show hosted at a millionaire’s private party. She reportedly refuses to perform at private fetes for less. If all goes through, Madonna will make history once again for playing the most lucrative concerts of all time.

Gulf audiences are growing increasingly interested in American pop music, as evidenced by the launch of MTV Arabia… But the four-day round trip to Dubai means if a rock star is going to play in your ‘hood, it’s going to cost you.

[From the New York Daily News]

Madonna signed with concert promoter Live Nation last year to the tune of $120 million. She’s the highest earning woman in music, and brought in an estimated $72 million between June of 2006 and 2007. Whenever she talks, I want to wire her jaw shut. And tie her down so she can’t go to the gym anymore. But clearly she’s doing SOMETHING right – she’s still at the top of her game at nearly 50 years old – and we’ve been talking about her for the last twenty-some years.

Here’s Madonna leaving the gym looking very sweaty in London yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Eddie Van Halen can kiss my ass. I’ve been waiting for this Van Halen reunion tour since 1986, when David Lee Roth left the group amid feuds with the Van Halen brothers. I bought my tickets to see the reunited VH- with David Lee Roth rightfully taking back his front man position- as soon as they went on sale. I’m supposed to go see them next week in my home town. Now, reports are coming out that Eddie’s old substance abuse problems are affecting the tour, and the band is on the verge of canceling the whole thing.

Sources tell TMZ the Van Halen tour has just been canceled!

We’re told arrangements are being made right now to cancel hotel stays for the tour — which was scheduled to continue through April 19th. Sources tell us the reason for the cancellation is Eddie — that he is having “issues.”

The last three shows had already been canceled. There have been reports that Eddie was out of it during concerts — and video of recent performances in which his guitar playing was atrocious.

Reps could not be reached for comment.

[From TMZ]

Way to disappoint the fans, there, Ed. We’ve been waiting more than 20 years for the best modern rock band since Led Zeppelin to get their act together and start making music again, and for a while, it looked like it was really going to happen. I guess old habits die hard. Eddie was rumored to have gone into intensive rehab prior to the tour, but it seems that didn’t take.

Eddie’s son, Wolfgang, is touring as the bass player for the reunited band. How nice for him to have to witness his dad falling off the wagon on tour.

I’m so pissed.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Alex Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen and Wolfgang Van Halen are shown announcing their tour on 8/13/07, thanks to WENN.

Update by Celebitchy: Billboard reports that they have sources who say the tour is not being canceled. Some dates are postponed while Eddie undergoes testing, but it is not definitively canceled at this point.

Three-year-old Cruz Beckham, the youngest son of Victoria and David Beckham, rocked the house at NYC’s Madison Square Garden last night. The toddler joined his mother and older brothers on stage during a Spice Girls concert, and busted a few breakdancing moves for the delighted crowd. During a song paying tribute to mothers, all the Spice Girls brought out their children, and little Cruz was more than happy to upstage his famous mommy and her friends:

They cancelled their tour supposedly to spend more time with their children.

So it was more than a little ironic that The Spice Girls were upstaged by an amazing display of breakdancing moves from little Cruz Beckham.

The youngest Beckham boy, who will be three tomorrow, charmed the notoriously tough crowd at Madison Square Garden with an amazing display of breakdancing, revealing a hidden talent for the crowd pleasing moves.

Even Spice Girl Melanie Brown, mother of Angel Iris and Phoenix Chi, was amazed at his spontaneous performance and she had to stop singing as she laughs out loud in amazement and says “that’s brilliant” as proud mother Victoria looks on smiling.

A lucky concertgoer who saw the three-year-old in action told PerezHilton.com: “All the girls had to stop singing because they were laughing so hard…He did a little head stand, then even spun on his head a little.

“They couldn’t get him off the stage when the song was over. It was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!!”

[From The Daily Mail]

Maybe Cruz has a future in show business like his parents. It sure looks like he loves the spotlight. I also think it’s funny that he never seems intimidated by the paparazzi when he goes out with his parents. He does seem a lot more mature than the average two-year-old– I’ve seen him in pictures before when traveling with Mommy handling his own luggage! He seems like a fun kid. All the Spice Girls’ children are adorable. I can see why they would rather end the whole Spice Girls thing to spend time with them. In the photographs from that show, it’s notable that Cruz’s older brother, Brooklyn, who is now 9, looks bored out of his mind. Oh, well– not everyone is born to be onstage.

Note by Celebitchy: Here’s the video. Little Cruz is shown breakdancing about about three minutes in. Cruise is officially just two, but he turns three on his birthday tomorrow.

The header image is of Cruz out with Posh on 2/9/08, thanks to WENN. (We don’t have the rights to the breakdancing or concert pics, but they’re on The Daily Mail if you’d like to see them.)