I like to joke around about Madonna and Jesus Luz because their dynamic just seems funny to me. I don’t have anything against “cougars” and their “cubs” per se, but with Madonna and Jesus is just feels like it’s not even about an older woman getting her rocks off with a young guy. For the Madge Vadge, it just feels like it’s always about the power struggle. And with Jesus, there is no power struggle, like there would be with one of those “grumpy, fat, balding” men closer to Madge’s age. In the relationship with Jesus, Madge has all the control, all of the intelligence (because Jesus doesn’t seem too bright), all of the power, all of the money. She’s in charge, and everything is about her. And that’s how Madge really gets her rocks off.

We know Madge has the power. And we keep hearing that Madge is a benevolent ruler of her divadom. Last week, Jaybird wrote about the reports that Madge is buying a little $2.5 million New York apartment… for Jesus Luz. Just for a lark, so he’ll have some place to go when the Vadge is done with him. Now In Touch is reporting that Jesus is even getting his own allowance from Madge!

Madonna’s boy toy Jesus Luz knows it pays to stick close to the Material Girl. According to a friend, Jesus, 23, put his modeling career on hold in order to accompany Madonna around the world – and that move is definitely paying off.

“Jesus basically lived paycheck to paycheck before he met Madonna, and he, like most people, had bills,” a friend explains. But now, his money worries are a thing of the past.

“Madonna gives him about $10,000 a month to cover his expenses, including his cell phone, insurance and credit card payments,” adds the pal.

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, October 26 2009]

I wonder if Lourdes gets a bigger allowance? Probably not. Anyway, how much do you want to be Madge’s boy toy? I have to admit, I’m no hooker or anything, but that sounds like a sweet deal. Put it all on the table – $10 K a month, plus a rumored $2.5 million apartment – and all you had to do was hang out with Madge for a few months, play with her cute kids, pose like Zoolander for the paparazzi and occasionally do some sex stuff with Madge. I’d do it. I kind of hate myself for admitting it publicly, but I would totally do it.

Madonna and Jesus are shown in Italy on 8/17/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

The notion of a “cougar” – an older woman on the prowl for hot, younger men – is just that: a notion. According to an article by the New York Times, which summarized a 2006 study of marriages in which women were at least ten years older than their husbands, the relationships were surprisingly normal and healthy. I.e. not at all creepy. The women were not overly motherly towards their husbands, and there really weren’t the power struggles you’d expect. Neither the husbands or the wives had major issues. There were some problems as the years went on, due to generational differences and worries about aging. But overall, it’s something Hollywood has turned into this strange, empty-sex based little phenomenon, when really they’re generally just normal, healthy marriages.

…The loosening of relationship conventions, which is not limited to age but also includes race, religion and economic status, appears to be particularly evident among female baby boomers, sociologists say, who are faced with the tightest “marriage squeeze” — the smallest pool of compatible men as conventionally defined, those two to three years older, of similar background and higher levels of education and income. The reason is that as women have delayed marriage, men still have a tendency to date and marry younger women.

In the last several years, as the loaded term cougar was popularized by the media’s frenzied fascination with Demi Moore’s marriage to Ashton Kutcher, 15 years her junior, and the dalliances and liaisons of other celebrities like Madonna and Katie Couric, researchers have begun to examine the older woman-younger man relationship. It is one that has long been taboo, heavily influenced by the Freudian notion that the older women are mother substitutes or “robbing the cradle.”

“For a long time we’ve been fed this idea that women should look for a man to take care of her, a man that is more educated, has a better job and makes more money,” said Sandra L. Caron, a professor of family relations and human sexuality at the University of Maine. “That might be fine and dandy if you’re in high school and have this fairy tale Prince Charming. But when you look at adult women, most are self-sufficient and they don’t have to look for that.”

Dr. Caron is an author of a 2006 study of couples in which the wife is at least 10 years older, which found surprisingly positive attitudes among the couples, although fear of stigma and insecurity about aging for the women, in particular, were common. The study, published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, reported that the couples thought their age difference mattered more to the outside world than to them, and that the men were more strongly drawn to the relationships at the start because of physical attraction.

Consistent with most other research and what many relationship experts are saying about these connections, the authors found that women liked the vitality the younger man brought into their lives, and men liked the maturity and confidence in the women, although generational differences sometimes made both partners uncomfortable. Others have also cited infidelity as a stronger possibility in any relationship with a large age difference.

“Initially I thought I would find more issues,” said Nichole R. Proulx, the lead author of the study, who is a marriage and family therapist in Maine. “But it’s a relationship like any other, despite what society might say. I thought I’d find that he looks at her like his mother, more inequality, more power struggles.”

[From the New York Times]

The Times also cited several studies that pointed out that the cougar phenomenon really doesn’t exist. Sure, there are marriages and relationships with older women and younger men. But they haven’t dramatically increased lately, they’re just getting more attention. However most of what they looked at were marriages, so dating relationships are another thing altogether.

The Times talked to Christie Nightingale, who is the founder of a matchmaking service called Premier Match (rates start at $6,500 and climb up to $50,000), and she said that while she’s noticed there’s been a bit of an increase in women looking for younger men, the same cannot be said for the men, generally speaking. However they do seem more flexible on the subject, and if Christie feels she’s got a great potential date who’s older, the men can often be convinced. So they’re open to the idea, but not specifically seeking it out. Which does slightly reinforce the idea that the women are pouncing on the men, which isn’t a bad thing, in and of itself.

But by and large, the cougar phenomenon is mostly about television. It’s a fantasy, and it’s crossed over into the real world a bit, but not with the drama and bed hopping Hollywood would like you to think. Someone might want to mention that to Courteney Cox and her new show “Cougartown.” That’s just one of the many things it’s doing wrong.

Thanks to Jezebel for the story idea!

Last Friday, People posted what I considered a rather innocuous little “New Couple” piece about how 45-year-old single mother of two Mary-Louise Parker has started dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. I’m sure some people were like “Go get ‘em, Cougar!” but I didn’t really see the big deal. Sure, Charlie is a cute guy. But Mary-Louise is really cool, so she deserves all of the hot pieces she wants. I was actually more excited about the prospect that Mary-Louise and Jeffrey Dean Morgan had finally broken up for good – that man is fine, and it’s interesting to know he’s single. Cough cough I’m plotting cough.

TV’s hottest mom has a cute new boyfriend.

Mary-Louise Parker, 45, has been dating musician Charlie Mars, 35, since early June, sources tell PEOPLE. Parker and the Mississippi-born singer and songwriter were all but inseparable last weekend when the Emmy-nominated Weeds star was in Los Angles to attend the awards.

Before they started dating, the mother of two was a fan of the up-and-coming artist. Last year, she appeared in the video for “Listen to the Darkside,” the first single off his record Like a Bird, Like a Plane.

Parker had previously been linked with her one-time Weeds costar Jeffery Dean Morgan.

[From People]

So, nice story, right? Mary-Louise has found a hot piece/love, and good for her. Not so fast! Defamer and the NYDN are questioning whether Mary-Louise “stole” Charlie from his girlfriend of three years, journalist Lindsey Brown, who works for WTOK, a local Mississippi station. The source of this “homewrecking” charge seems to have come from an e-mail sent to Defamer titled “Cougar Goes Too Far”. The e-mail references the whole Billy Crudup dumping MLP for Claire Danes thing, if you find that relevant. Here’s the e-mail:

Readers may find it interesting that actress Mary Louise Parker who was dumped late in her pregnancy five years ago went on to rip apart the three year relationship of her new boyfriend Charlie Mars and his then 25 year old Mississippi girlfriend.

Early June Mars was still in a relationship with news anchor Lindsey Brown who is a journalist in Meridian Mississippi. Mars and Brown met while Brown was finishing up college at the University of Mississippi. It was Brown who helped Mars move through his substance/drug abuse problems he has battled for the last decade.

You would think a woman who suffered so greatly at the hands of a man would work to make sure other women aren’t betrayed the same way…

[From E-mail sent to Defamer]

Uh… right. So, this e-mail was sent by Lindsey Brown, correct? And Lindsey comes off as a bit… crazy, yes? No, I won’t go there. We don’t know what happened. It’s totally possible that Mary-Louise isn’t as cool as I think she is, that she’s some prickly homewrecking cougar who goes out looking for young men that have already been “fixed” by other women. Or Mary-Louise could be so cool that when a “taken” guy meets her, he’s becomes all “Oh, I don’t have a girlfriend, no way. Your hair is pretty.” Or Charlie and Lindsey were already broken up when he began dating Mary-Louise. Whatever.

Here’s Mary Louise Parker making a quick dash to the security line at Los Angeles International Airport with Charlie Mars on September 21st. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

Kirsten out with her brother in Soho on 8/22/09

Radar has an “eyewitness report” about Kirsten Dunst still being a sloppy drunk. There were rumors about Kiki’s drinking for years – and then she suddenly went to rehab in February of last year. Since then, it’s not like she’s been totally on the straight and narrow, but she seems to have been keeping her sh-t together a little better than before. Although there was that throwdown with Mary-Kate Olsen last December… but I digress. Radar’s eyewitness saw Kirsten downing double vodkas at a party:

She’s a year and a half removed from her rehab stint, but Kirsten Dunst was spotted stumbling drunk at the Tropicana bar at the Roosevelt hotel in Los Angeles on August 18, several eyewitnesses tell RadarOnline.com.

Dunst was in rehab at Utah’s Cirque Lodge in February, 2008. But rehab seemed a distant memory as she partied in L.A. recently, the eyewitnesses revealed. She was seen with a double vodka on the rocks stumbling into a crowd of people.

This isn’t the first time she’s been seen hitting the party scene hard since her rehab stay. Most notably she was helped (by friends) out of the LA club The Room after another vodka-infused night.

Details of her latest binge were first reported by the National Enquirer in its new issue which contains more details of her Mary Jane Parker’s lost night.

[From Radar]

I’m sure we’ll bring you that Enquirer story later on in the week. I totally buy this story – Kirsten didn’t seem to deal with her alcohol abuse problems in a real way, it just sort of seemed like she went to rehab when everyone was going to rehab. Like, to socialize or to be cool or something.

In a weird coincidence, Fox News 411 has an interesting story up about Kiki being a “cougar in training” because she’s been partying and hooking up with a few guys in their early twenties. And no, it wasn’t Robert Pattinson. But least she’s keeping it legal, you know?

Kirsten Dunst likes her guys on the side on the young side. The 27 year-old actress whiled some time away this summer in Mississippi with a fresh new Ole Miss graduate, and last week she was busy partying the night away in California with her little brother’s young pals.

A source close to the Mississippi situation tells FOX411 that the hookup was just a fun one-night stand.

“Kirsten met a cute, young, 22 year-old guy at a bar in Oxford, Mississippi and they partied together and had a hot little hookup,” says the fellow reveler. “She invited him back to her hotel and even took him out for breakfast in the morning. She was having a good time, and she likes younger guys. But the two have no plans to see each other again.”

So what was the Hollywood A-lister doing in the deep South?”Kirsten wanted a change of pace this summer and she spent a little vacation time in the South, checking out Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee and also traveling to Mississippi,” said the snitch. “She managed to squeeze in a little party time with some college co-eds on her travels.”

But Kirsten was just getting started. Last week, she threw a party for her brother, Christian, 23, at Hollywood hotspot Madame Royale, and Christian invited plenty of young male friends for his appreciative sis.

“She came alone without a date and Christian brought several of his buddies,” a fellow partygoer tells FOX411. “Kirsten and Christan are very close, and they get along with each other’s friends. Everyone was drinking vodka and partying at their table. Kirsten looked like she was having a great night, laughing and dancing with all the young dudes.”

[From Fox 411]

Funny, sketchy and true story – when I was 20 years old, I hooked up with a 17-year-old guy. To be fair, he was only a few months away from his 18th birthday. I couldn’t actually do the deed with him, because I was so freaked out because what we were doing was technically illegal in my state, but I did let him get to a base that’s still probably a misdemeanor. That is my one and only stab at being a cougar… but I can identify with Kiki for hooking up with some young college guys. Some of those boys are so cute! She probably doesn’t remember the hookup though – that’s what happens when you’re doing tequila shots with 22-year-olds.

Here’s Kirsten at the CFDA Fashion Awards on 6/15/09. Credit: Diane Cohen/Fame Pictures

Oh, no! One of my latest favorites, Daniel Radcliffe, has just admitted that he’s got a girlfriend! Sob. What will I do to mend my broken heart? Daniel’s girlfriend is older than him… by all of four years. Does that qualify as a “cougar”? Screw it, I’m calling her cougar. Her name is Laura O’Toole, and she’s a 24 year old Irish girl. Daniel and Laura met in the fall of 2007 when they were costarring together on Broadway in Equus. At the time, there were rumors that the two were dating, but I have no idea if they‘ve been dating straight through for nearly two years, or if they‘ve had some breaks in between. I find Laura to be cute, but she’s not a stunner. Rather plain, in my opinion, but she looks like she’s probably a very nice girl. Uncomplicated. You can see Laura below and in the old promotional shots for Equus.

Star: Tell us something about yourself that will shock Harry Potter fans.
DR: I write verse! I’m not sure if it’s any good. I don’t write under my own name – that would be a bit scary – but I have had a private book published, and it’s appeared in some magazines.

Star: How has your Harry Potter fortune changed you?
DR: I’ve made some sensible investments… bought a flat in London, I keep it reasonably tidy. I’ve been there for nearly two years. I still take the washing around to Mum occasionally though! And I’ve bought a painting by Jim Hodges, a New York artist, that I love. There’s a bit of calligraphy in the middle that spells “Oh for crying out loud!” – which is something my mum says a lot. That’s its appeal.

Star: And what about your love life?
DR: My girlfriend is Laura O’Toole, and she was in Equus with me, but I don’t really want to talk about that, because she’s not here and it’s not fair. Sorry!

[From Star Magazine, July 27, print edition]

So did Star Magazine pull that quote from an old interview, or is Daniel really dating this girl? I actually think it’s a genuine interview, and he really is dating Laura. TimeOut London just confirmed it in a new interview with Radcliffe. I just skimmed the interview, but it seems to have a lot of Harry Potter questions – obviously, because that’s the film he’s promoting.

On a side note: In the TimeOut interview, there was this interesting exchange: the guy asks Daniel about the whole Christian Bale on-set, expletive-ridden tirade against a coworker, and Dan replies “That shocked me. I’m not going to judge him, as I don’t know anything about it. If it was as unprovoked as it sounded, it’s outrageous. But I’m sure there was other stuff going on. I’ve always looked up to him, because he was one of those people, like Jodie Foster and Elijah Wood, that made that transition from childhood actor to adult actor really well. Foster did it rather brilliantly. And Christina Ricci.” Uh-oh. That’s when it’s bad, Christian Bale. When child stars no longer put you on their list of people who have transitioned into full-fledged adult careers. It’s because of the all-important caveat: Have a career without being a dick. Words to live by, Bale.

Here’s Daniel outside The Late Show on 7/9/09. Credit: WENN.com

I’m starting to find Daniel Radcliffe cuter and cuter. He’s always seemed like a sweet enough boy, but reading this interview in Parade just made me like him more. He uses words like “pedantic” and makes a comparison to himself and George Clooney. He also describes himself as “an old man in a young man’s body” – which is sort of sweetly endearing, and probably true. The best part is when the soon-to-be 20-year-old talks about how he doesn’t care for girls his own age – he says that all of his serious flings have been with girls in their twenties. My guess is that when Daniel gets to his twenties, he’ll starting dating girls even older – that’s when I’ll strike!

Daniel gave this interview to promote the soon-to-be released Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, but he ends up talking a lot of his turn on the stage in Equus, where Daniel played “an unbalanced stable boy with a religious and sexual fascination with horses.” He was naked. And he looked pretty good too:

“From the moment I walked onstage [performing in Equus], I could hear them talking and getting very excited,” Radcliffe recalls, shaking his head. “Then they started talking to me: ‘Dan! Dan! Look over here, Dan!’ ” He pauses. “I’m not somebody who particularly gets angry about stuff like that. In my professional life, I rarely get angry at all. And yet, I came offstage seeing blood. I was so furious!”

But not at this point. Significantly, Radcliffe’s smooth cheeks show a haze of dark whiskers. Gossip columns have linked him with a succession of slightly older actresses, and he doesn’t deny his taste in women: “Girls my own age are not really an option,” he tells me. “I find, generally speaking, they have to be entertained more than older girls do. So most of the girls I have had serious things with are generally sort of in their 20s.”

So was Equus his declaration of independence?

“I didn’t set out to shock people. I set out to do something different from Potter. If I had wanted to shock people,” Radcliffe says, “I would have played, you know, a gay drug dealer. But, equally, you have to tread a very fine line. If, say, my next film was another fantasy film, everyone would just go, ‘Well, he’s not stretching himself.’ Then, if I played some drug dealer, everyone would turn around and go, ‘Oh, this smacks of desperation to stop being typecast.’ ”

Still, he hasn’t cut the cord just yet. Radcliffe is—as might be expected—extremely respectful of the Potter story, its creator J.K. Rowling, and all that the franchise has done for him. “I’ve had a happy and very healthy, really enjoyable childhood, and a fantastically interesting one,” he says. “I genuinely think I am a better person for having done these films than I possibly would have been had I not.”

Not to mention a much richer one. His salary for the most recent Potter picture was a reported $25 million; overall, he’s said to be worth at least twice that. He’s been declared England’s richest teenager.

“I think it’s amazing,” Radcliffe says. “I have been very, very fortunate. But I’m not going to spend it on flashy cars or particular extravagances. What it does in terms of my career, which is how I like to look at it—it gives me the thing that George Clooney has, where he can go off and do a big-budget movie like Ocean’s Eleven, make a lot of money for it, and then go and do stuff that won’t pay as much. It gives you room to maneuver, basically. It means I can relax, and I think that’s the best thing it can do. It’s one thing in my life that I am incredibly fortunate not to have to worry about. Money will never be the focus for me. That’s not how I’ve been brought up.”

And what about the prospect of—gulp—turning 20 next month?

“I’ve noticed I make noises when I get up and sit down now,” Radcliffe says in all seriousness. “I mean, my knees are rotten bad—I refused to wear knee pads too many times when I was doing stunts, and I just clobbered them up a bit. I am an old man in a young man’s body.”

[From Parade]

See, he didn’t really compare himself to Clooney, he just sort of said that he and Clooney both do the big studio films to make money, so they can work on their little projects. That being said, Daniel’s stage turn in Equus was a huge deal, and I bet the theatre made buckets of money on the production. It would be really cool if Daniel continued to challenge himself and our image of him in such interesting, artistic ways. I’m just thankful he’s not already some drug-and-drink soaked wanker who lives inside the hottest clubs. Not my Daniel!

Photos are from Parade.com, where they have many more.

All too often the gossip-world is devoted to covering and following the youngest, the dumbest, the drunkest, and the most ridiculous celebrities out there. So occasionally it’s nice to cover a interesting little story about a woman of a “certain age” who isn’t mangling her face with surgery or Botox, who isn’t dating a guy half her age, who isn’t telling off some other celebrity and who isn’t flashing her lady bits to a paparazzo’s waiting camera. Such is the case of 51-year-old Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle gets my respect automatically because she was in some of my favorite films of all time – Dangerous Liaisons (where she seduced John Malkovich on and off screen), The Age of Innocence (where she allegedly seduced Daniel Day-Lewis off-screen) and Married To the Mob (which is just a really funny movie).

Unfortunately, not everyone shares me good opinion of Michelle Pfeiffer and how cool and classy she is. Michelle recently told a story about how during some of her promotional duties, a reporter asked her “’How does it feel to have an old and decrepit body?” Not cool, douchebag reporter. Not cool:

MICHELLE PFEIFFER was left speechless during a recent promotional trip to Germany – when one journalist described the Hollywood star’s body as “old and decrepit”.

The Dangerous Liaisons actress, who is currently promoting new romantic drama Cheri, celebrated her 51st birthday this April (09) and insists she is embracing growing old gracefully.

But she was stunned when one female reporter criticised her looks in such a harsh manner.

Pfeiffer says, “She asked, ‘How does it feel to have an old and decrepit body?’ And at first I didn’t understand her, I was like, ‘Sorry, did you just say I had an old and decrepit body?’ and she was like, ‘Ja (yes). How does it feel?’”

The actress recognized the woman from a past press conference when she attacked the star’s fashion sense – and Pfeiffer responded to the criticism of her appearance by giving the reporter a telling off for her consistently rude comments.

Pfeiffer reveals, “She was the same woman who’d asked me years before, because I remembered her. She’d said, ‘Do you think what you’re wearing is appropriate?’ She was like, 60 and had on a miniskirt! And I said, ‘Well, you’re the one who asked me two years ago if I was dressed appropriate… (sic)’.”

[From Contact Music]

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the reporter was either insane, or on crack. Or both. I like how Michelle handled it though, and I hope she didn’t take it seriously, but the woman still looks amazing – and age appropriate. The reason Michelle has been giving so many interviews lately is because she’s got a film to promote – Cherie, “a romantic drama set in 1920s Paris, where the son of a courtesan retreats into a fantasy world after being forced to end his relationship with the older woman who educated him in the ways of love.” Michelle plays the older woman who “educated” the son of the courtesan, and thus, the whole cougar-hood question came out when she spoke to In Style Magazine (quotes via Page Six):

Don’t call Michelle Pfeiffer a cougar. The actress, 51, tells InStyle: “I so hate that term! Colette wrote these novels [about older women with younger men] so long ago, but even today they’re ahead of their time in the way we perceive women’s power and sexuality.”

As for her take on plastic surgery, she says, “Well, I think your face should still move. And you should be recognizable to your friends. One actress I knew years ago, a really lovely person, had some stuff done, and literally, every time I run into her now I don’t recognize her. Every time!”

[From Page Six]

Michelle gets an A-plus for a literary cougar reference. Eat that, Demi Moore. That being said, as I was researching this, I checked Michelle’s dating history on Who’s Dated Who, and her entry is epic. That girl dated some really great guys when they were in their prime. But generally, she tended to date men who were older. She doesn’t have the heart of cougar, only the looks. Currently, Michelle is married to David E. Kelley (they’ve been together since 1993 and he’s two years older than her) and they raise their two kids together quietly and happily from all evidence.

Michelle Pfeiffer is shown on 6/16/09 outside the Late Show. She is also shown on 6/17/09. Credit: WENN.com

Linda Hogan’s cougar bait boyfriend has filed for a restraining order from big scary Hulk Hogan. I meant that to sound all mocking and mean, but Hulk Hogan is big and sorta scary in the right light. Nonetheless, 20-year-old Charley Hill claims that he’s afraid of Hulk, who’s been following him around and threatening him.

The courts have denied a request made by Linda Hogan’s boyfriend, who was seeking a restraining order against Linda’s estranged husband, Hulk Hogan, Access Hollywood has learned.

In court papers obtained by Access, Charley Hill, 20, claims Hulk (whose real name is Terry Bollea) has been following and threatening him.

However, the court denied Hill’s request.

Following the court’s ruling, David Houston, an attorney for Hulk, released the following statement to Access:

“This is just another blatant attempt by Linda Hogan to try to defame Hulk Hogan’s character. We commend the judge on seeing through this ridiculous stunt and denying these baseless claims.”

[From Yahoo!]

Rarely do I do this, but I have to defend Hulk here. Have you seen Charley Hill? He looks just like Linda, or at least some hybrid mush of all the Hogans. Hulk probably thinks Charley is Brooke or something. If so, he’s also probably thinking that Brooke’s a lot better looking – and less masculine – than he remembered. Without glasses, Charley could definitely be confused for Linda in heels. Maybe even a Nick/Brooke hybrid. I really don’t think Hulk is intentionally stalking this kid, I think he’s just not paying close enough attention.

Here’s Linda and Charley at the Palms Place Hotel and Spa Grand Opening in Vegas on May 31st. Images thanks to WENN.

Liv Tyler and Drew Barrymore at the 1999 Oscars

Webster’s defines a puma as a “large wild cat found in North and South America. Tawny- coated, it is 4.5 ft/1.5 m long with a 3 ft/1 m tail. It lives alone, with each male occupying a distinct territory; it eats deer, rodents, and cattle. It has been hunted nearly to extinction.”

Webster’s definition of a cougar is “another name for the puma.”

In other words, a puma and a cougar are the same animal. I’m not sure why cougar and not puma became the go-to word for women like Demi Moore and Sharon Stone who go for much younger men.

Apparently there is a distinction, according to the Urban Dictionary: “In the lexicon of older women seeking younger men, a jaguar is 50 and over, where the cougar is in their 40s, and the puma under 40.”

Liv Tyler may not know that puma and cougar are synonyms, but she does know her slang.

Going through her first divorce, Liv and twice-divorced friend Drew Barrymore had a ladies’ night out October 9 at The Terrace at Sunset Tower Hotel in LA, according to Life & Style.

Drew confessed to Liv, “I love dating younger guys — I’m a bona fide cougar.” Liv protested that they were too young to be cougars.

“Aren’t we pumas?” Liv asked. “I think pre-cougar is puma.”

Puma or cougar, Life & Style claims Drew “turned the whole place into a party.”

Drew, 33, who recently hooked up with Ed Westwick, 21, and has dated Fabrizio Moretti, 28, and Justin Long, 30, seemed pleased as punch with the label and ordered another round of martinis. “They were laughing so much,” says the witness. “Drew kept joking with the wait staff, inviting them to sit with her, offering to buy them shots.”

[From Life & Style, print edition, October 27, 2008]

For future reference, a young cougar is technically referred to as a kitten or a cub.

Whatever the term, go for it, girls. As Demi Moore can surely attest, if you can’t find a good man, raise one.

Note by Celebitchy: Drew Barrymore isn’t always a puma by her own definition of the word. The last guy she was seen out with was 45 year-old producer Barry Mendel, who is working with her on her film Whip It. Here are photos of those two out together on 10/5/08. Liv Tyler is also shown with her son, Milo, who turns four in December, on 10/21/08. Credit: Fame Pictures. You may have already heard this story, but I thought it was a cute one.

Sharon Stone is a lady I would have always described as a cougar – long before she started dating a 24-year-old. There’s something about her long nails, penchant for fur, and generally abrasive personality that says, “I eat living creatures for snacks – and I prefer it that way.” But now it turns out Stone is the other kind of cougar – the kind that dates ridiculously young men as some sort of status symbol. Luckily for the poor fellow in question, it doesn’t sound like it’s too serious on either side.

Sharon Stone’s current love interest is half her age — and that hasn’t stopped him from bragging about her to all of his friends. “I’ve started dating Sharon Stone, and she’s pretty good for 50,” Chase Dreyfous, 24, told his pals at a birthday party at Crown Bar on August 8 in LA.

“Sharon called him and he showed the caller ID to everyone,” adds an insider. The unlikely pair, who met in early July while working together on Sharon’s charity, Planet Hope, were first spotted getting cozy at a party thrown by fashion designer Christian Audigier on August 2 in LA.

“She’s really into him and even asked him to come with her to Mexico,” the insider says. Sharon was married to media mogul Phil Bronstein for six years before they divorced in early 2004. Chase and Sharon stepped out at Christian Audigier’s “white party,” which was held to celebrate the birthday of Christian’s wife, Ira.

[From In Touch]

Yeah, she’s pretty good for fifty because she drinks the blood of three twelve-year-olds in a fruit-based cocktail every morning. I’m telling you Chase, be wary. I am absolutely certain she’s just watching over you before she bites into your neck. Calling Sharon Stone a cougar is easily the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about her. There is no way that woman is as maternal and loving as a cougar would be. She’s not even as kind as a black widow spider. If she tries to get you take out a life insurance policy with her as the beneficiary, run. I’ve seen all this in Lifetime movies, and I’m telling you now, it’s not going anywhere good.

Who wouldn’t want to date this fine thing? Here’s Stone on Friday. Images thanks to Fame.