I don’t even know where to f-cking start with this video. It’s so… gross, disgusting, tragic, sad, dry-heave-y, and insane, I don’t even have the words. Here’s the background: after one of Miley Cyrus’s concerts, she and her family and entourage are backstage and someone is shooting footage of everyone. Miley’s 9-year-old sister Noah, perhaps sensing that a camera around, decides to parade herself around, performing Akon’s “Smack That” (sample lyrics: “Smack that, all on the floor. Smack that, give me some more. Smack that, ’til you get sore. Smack that, oh ooh”) while smacking her own hip and butt, shaking her hips, pouting her lips and tossing her hair, all while focused on performing for the camera.

It’s obviously a performance she has practiced many, many times before. Oh, and Us Weekly says Miley is “encouraging” Noah to perform on the video, but I can’t make that part out. It’s obvious someone is trying to pull Noah away at the beginning, and then whoever it is just lets her do her thing. Lainey Gossip sort of went off on this sh-t this morning, but I think the video kind of speaks for itself.

I will say this though – I wouldn’t mind if Billy Ray Cyrus got some serious sh-t for this. Miley too, but ultimately, Miley’s not Noah’s parent. This “performance” is only the latest chapter in what will likely be another decade of Noah’s continuing inappropriateness. And, this comes less than two months after Noah “dressed up” as a dominatrix-prostitute for Halloween. This is what comes from having a mullet, I swear to God. Billy Ray needs to have his goddamn head examined. The mother too.

Noah Cyrus in the “dominatrix” outfit on October 24, 2009, and with a little friend on October 25, 2009. Credit: WENN.

Courtney Love may have deleted her garbage-filled Twitter account, but she’s still on Facebook trying to vent her crazy on the world. Love wrote about recently losing custody of her 17 year-old daughter, Frances Bean, to the mother and sister of her late husband, Kurt Cobain. According to Courtney it’s all about Frances wanting to have access to her inheritance, at least I think that’s what she means. It’s always hard to tell with her:

She writes, “I hate to sound cold but any kid of mine who pulls this s— has lost her position… she was deceptive, she lied and she’s lying to herself… My
daughter is not always honest.”

Love also insists her daughter isn’t as rich as she thinks she is: “The fact is fbc [Frances Bean Cobain] is deluded. She thinks she has all this money. The point is I have all the money she has.

“Frances is clearly deluded that she can buy her grandmother a small house in la [Los Angeles]. I’d love to see how that works. They’ll incubate her (sic) til shes 18 and then have her sign all the (sic) indnemofications.

“Don’t worry, Frances is a wonderful kid, she’s got bad people around her and wants it both ways. You could’ve asked for emancipation… you realise this will put you in juvenile family circus three times in your little life? I love you and always will unconditionally.”

[From MSN Wonderwall]

So it’s Frances who is being deceptive because she wants access to her inheritance, which her mom says she’s never going to hand over. According to Bill Zwecker in the Chicago Sun Times, Courtney is dipping into her daughter’s money to buy drugs and that’s only part of the reason that Frances is bailing. There’s also the whole “mom is bombed out of her mind” issue.

My sources tell me the request for the change in custody actually was initiated by Frances Bean herself, who turns 18 in August.

According to documents originally revealed by TMZ, custody of Cobain has been handed over to her grandmother and Kurt Cobain’s mother, Wendy O’Connor, and her aunt and his sister, Kimberly Dawn Cobain.

Along with recent behavior ”even more crazy and erratic than usual,” there reportedly were significant, unexplained discrepancies in various accounts Love handled on behalf of her daughter — heir to an enormous fortune due in large part to ongoing Nirvana royalties. The fact that many of the checks were made out to “cash” added to speculation that Love used the funds to purchase drugs.

”For example, Courtney would suddenly bolt from a conversation, run outside — sometimes barely dressed — and jump in her car and drive away,” a longtime, long-suffering friend and former business associate of Love’s told me Tuesday.

Another source stressed that there are signs Love — who long has battled drug and alcohol addiction problems — recently was taking large amounts of prescription drugs ”like Xanax and Vicodin . . . enough to kill a horse.”

[From The Chicago Sun Times]

Remember when Courtney claimed last year that a crime syndicate had lifted $72 million from her accounts by stealing her late husband’s identity? That could have happened, but it’s just as likely that she somehow squandered, misplaced or miscalculated a massive fortune. Good for Frances for getting out when she had a chance. I hope that her money is kept far away from her drug-addicted mom. Time will tell whether Frances handles her finances better. Bad things can happen when 18 year-old kids suddenly have millions of dollars in the bank. Buying grandma a small house usually isn’t one of them, though.

Header image is of Frances out in NY on 8/20/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

Troubled rocker Courtney Love has lost custody of her 17-year-old daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. The order came down last Friday, with a family court judge citing increasingly erratic behavior by Love. The court appointed Frances’ grandmother, Wendy O’Connor, mother of late Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain, and Kimberly Cobain, Kurt’s sister, as the teen’s new legal guardians.

Courtney Love no longer has legal control of her daughter. TMZ has learned a legal guardian has been appointed to care for 17-year-old Frances Bean Cobain.
Guardianships of this nature are frequently established when the parent is not capable of taking care of their children.

The guardians appointed by the court are Wendy O’Connor, Kurt Cobain’s mom, and Kimberly Dawn Cobain, Kurt’s sister.

The guardianship was established on Friday. Courtney Love was not in court.

The guardianship is for both Frances Bean personally and her financial well-being.

The guardians do not have power over the trust established after Kurt Cobain’s death.

The guardianship was established after a fairly long period of unstable conduct by Courtney Love. The court proceedings, however, are sealed.

[From TMZ]

Love previously lost custody of Frances back in 2003, when she was only 11 years old. In that case, Frances was taken away after it was revealed that she was in the home during one of Courtney Love’s drug overdoses – in fact, Frances was the one who called 911. It took Love 15 months to clean up her act and get custody returned to her. Sources say that once Courtney regained custody of Frances, the girl saw little of her father’s family and was “bothered” by some of her mom’s antics. More recently, Courtney has been ranting online about her belief that Britney Spears was molested by her father, as well as accusing her ex-boyfriend Ed Norton of mishandling Kim Cobain’s property. Not sure how her recent behavior is any less insane than usual, but there must be more to it than some badly misspelled Tweets, or the court wouldn’t be getting involved.

The only good news is that in a year, Frances will be a legal adult, and hopefully she will be far away from her mom’s whacko influence.

This news makes me nauseous. Tila Tequila is claiming that she and Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson are engaged, and that Casey gave her a 17-carat ring. Last we heard from Casey Johnson, she had just been released from jail on bail after being arrested for grand theft of one of her former friends, Jasmine Lennard. In addition to the all of the stuff Casey stole from Jasmine, she also used a vibrator and left it for Jasmine at the scene of the crime. So… yeah. Casey is crazy. Is she crazy enough to “propose” to Tila Tequila? Yeah… probably.

Tila Tequila is getting married to Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. Or so she said Wednesday morning in a rambling USTREAM video.

“We have an announcement,” the 27-year-old MTV reality star, clad in black lingerie, began. “…So are you ready for this big announcement that’s going to change our lives?”

“This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow, but because I love you guys so much, we are giving you the exclusive first — Tila army fans — tonight, my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!”

She then flashed a ring, which she said is a “17-carat diamond ring from my baby. It’s so fat you can’t even see it! So yeah, my baby got me this 17-carat ring. My baby takes care of me. Beat that J.Lo! Beat that Khloe and Lamar!

“Casey Johnson and Miss Tila Tequila are officially engaged. Woo!” she added.

She insisted the ring is “not fake, because my baby is a f****** baller. She’s a billionaire! She’s the heiress of Johnson and Johnson. Anyway, we are going to make love tonight for our honeymoon.”

She said they have “a lot of work to do to plan a wedding” and that they’re “very happy. We’re what you call U-Haul lesbians, where you meet and fall in love and move in the next day and have kids.” Before the video ended, they made out in front of the camera.

Late Tuesday, Tila (real name: Tila Nguyen) and Johnson made an appearance at Tuesday’s L.A. launch party for Travis Barker’s clothing line, Famous Stars and Straps. “Tila and Casey told everyone they were engaged,” an attendee tells Us. “They were showing off the ring to people!”

Tila recently made headlines after alleging that San Diego Chargers quarterback Shawne Merriman choked and unlawfully restrained her at his home. San Diego County District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis later dismissed her claims due to insufficient evidence.

[From Us Weekly]

Here’s the thing (like there’s only one “thing” about this): Casey and her girlfriend Courtenay Semel just broke up. It was actually Semel who did the dumping on Crazy, doing it a few days after Semel was the one to turn Crazy in to Jasmine. So… have Tila and Casey known each other for a while? They could have. The pool of Hollywood’s faux lesbians is relatively small, so I could see their paths crossing at some point. But to go from casual acquaintance to fiancé in such a short time? Ugh. And look at Casey in these pictures. I doubt she even knows what year it is. She’s not capable of making any decisions whatsoever.

I hope I’m not selling this awesome tabloid story short by calling it one of the most awesome stories you’ll hear about an heiress this year. Casey Johnson, one of the heiresses to the vast Johnson & Johnson fortune, has been arrested for grand theft. Before I get into the awesome, hilarious and sad details of the crime, let me just say that I only really know who Casey Johnson is for two reasons – first, I saw part of some documentary she was in about the current crop of famous or semi-famous heirs (I think it was on E!), in which Casey came across a smug, holier-than-thou princess. Secondly, I know who Casey Johnson is because back in 2006, when she was 26 years old, she gave a nasty interview to Vanity Fair, complaining that her 56-year-old aunt, Libet Johnson, stole her then-boyfriend, 38-year-old John Dee (full Vanity Fair article here). The nastiness made national headlines, and word was that the Johnson family was not very impressed with Casey.

After the whole aunt-stealing-boyfriend incident, it seems as if Casey turned to women in a big way. She became a lesbian, and took up with Courtenay Semel, better known as Lindsay Lohan’s maybe lover back a few years ago. Now, I bring up Semel because she plays a role in Casey’s heist – Semel was the one to turn her in! Hahaha. Johnson was arrested for stealing clothing, underwear, jewelry and paperwork from model Jasmine Lennard. The police learned about Johnson’s heist of Jasmine’s property when Courtenay Semel contacted Jasmine to tell her “Casey Johnson just got into bed with me and she is wearing your underwear. You need to call police.” Not only was Johnson arrested, while is jail she allegedly “was screaming outrageous and crazy things.” Johnson’s already been released from Van Nuys jail, and she left the jail in style, in a chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce with a cardboard-cutout of the Queen of England beside her. Tragically eccentric, or hilariously out of touch? Oh, but I haven’t even gotten to the best/worst part of the heist – it involved a “used” vibrator:

Casey Johnson, the troubled heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, is under arrest for grand theft after she allegedly stole dozens of pieces of clothing, jewelry and other items from a supermodel who had befriended and tried to reform her.

Jasmine Lennard said she was away from her Hollywood home for six weeks and returned 12 days ago to find her apartment had been plundered. She told The Post that the thief stole jewelry, shoes, 600 pages of a legal document, clothing — even her underwear.

The thief also left a bizarre calling card — a used vibrator was found in her bed and a wet towel was on the floor.

Lennard suspected Johnson, whom she said had “been like a little sister to me.”

Then she got a text message from Johnson’s off-again, on-again girlfriend Courtenay Semel. Lennard is a friend of both women.

“There’s a problem, Jaz, Casey Johnson just got into bed with me and she is wearing your underwear,” the message read. “You need to call police. There are documents here, your shoes and your clothing — you need to call the police.”

Lennard called the cops, and they went to Johnson’s Los Angeles home. There they found all of the stolen items, Lennard said. Johnson was arrested at 12:30 p.m. yesterday in Los Angeles and is being held on $20,000 bail at a jail in Van Nuys.

Johnson is the great-granddaughter of the founder of the Johnson & Johnson pharmaceutical empire and is the daughter of Woody Johnson, owner of the New York Jets. Her godmother is Diandra Douglas, the ex-wife of actor Michael Douglas.

The 30-year-old socialite has been linked to several high-profile girlfriends, including Semel, the daughter of Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel. Semel allegedly beat Johnson up and lit her hair on fire during a catfight at Semel’s home. But they apparently reconciled and were seen together earlier this year.

Lennard said she had never had sex with Johnson.

“Since the day I met Casey, I have only been a good force in her life. She’s been like a little sister to me,” she told The Post. “I tried to get her off drugs and alcohol. I tried to get her into a 12-step program. I tried to help take care of her daughter. I’ve given her money.”

“I am the only person who helped this girl, and I believe she was obsessed with me, and thinks in her mind we had some kind of affair. That is not the case.”

She said she was outraged: “She breaks into my Hollywood apartment, masturbates in my bed, has a shower in my bathroom, takes every thing in my apartment.”

“This time she really messed with the wrong lady. I am going to teach her a lesson,” Lennard vowed.

[From The New York Post]

Mother of God. Casey Johnson is absolutely ridiculous. So… you not only steal clothes, underwear, papers, and jewelry from a friend, but you use a vibrator mid-heist, and you leave it in the house? Holy sh-t. Oh, and this model, Jasmine, gave an interview to Radar calling Casey an “evil little girl”. Jasmine says: “Casey sends me letters and sprays them with perfume and covers them in glitter and star stickers. It’s so pungent it stinks up my whole apartment! The first thing I’m doing this morning is getting a restraining order. I’ve had a hell of a lot of patience and compassion for this woman and she just hasn’t treated me right. Casey is an evil girl. She’s going to be full of vengeance and try to attack me in any way she can.”

And you know Casey used to be friends with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie too, right? When Paris signed on to do The Simple Life, Casey was offered the co-starring “friend” role before Nicole. Casey turned it down… and in interviews, she says she “regrets” that one choice. Personally, I would “regret” being a batsh-t crazy heiress who leaves used vibrators laying around crime scenes, but whatever.

Casey Johnson at a party for the sixth season of ‘The L Word’ in Hollywood, California on February 1, 2009. Also, photos of Casey with Courtenay Semel at The Beverly Glen Center in Los Angeles, California on May 30, 2009. Credit for all: WENN.

One of my favorite stories about Jennifer Lopez is that she allegedly does voodoo. Several years ago, Jennifer’s first husband Ojani Noa was trying to publish a tell-all book about Jennifer, and what she was really like. Noa claimed that Lopez was into Santeria, which (in my opinion) often gets a bad rap. Some dismiss it as voodoo and think the practitioners are nutzo, but I think it sounds like a fun religion. Anyway, at the time, Noa claimed that Jennifer “was doing bad things to a lot of people when we were friends. And I knew all this time, because we did personally, me and her, to this particular lady.” Particular lady = Mariah Carey, I believe.

Anyway, Noa is still trying to profit from their brief time together. Last week we heard about Noa attempting to sell a sexy video of the two of them together – a judge later put the video on hold, thank God. But Noa is still claiming that Lopez is “out to get him”. His new claim involves Jennifer hiring people following him and threatening him. You know Jennifer is making a special potion just for him.

Jennifer Lopez put a halt to the release of a movie that’s supposedly based on her marriage to Ojani Noa, but her ex isn’t giving up. His lawyer and business manager are in court trying to overturn a judge’s ruling that blocks the tape from being shown, and they’re accusing J.Lo of harassing Ojani, to whom she was married for 11 months between 1997 and 1998. “She’s having him followed,” Ojani’s business manager, Ed Meyer, tells Life & Style. “We just ran the license plate of the car — it’s a black Audi — and it goes directly back to Jennifer Lopez. Ojani’s scared.”

But Jennifer, 40, is within her legal rights, says an insider close to the actress. “It’s a process server trying to give Ojani a subpoena,” says the insider. Ojani’s lawyer, Frank Sanes Jr., tells Life & Style that his client fears for his life. “We have some concerns right now about the personal safety of Ojani,” Sanes says. “We believe he’s under surveillance by someone. He’s had death threats.”

Jennifer was granted a temporary restraining order that prevents Ojani from selling the allegedly steamy home videos. But Ojani, 35, claims his flick, How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J.Lo and Ojani Noa Story, is not a sex tape but a Borat-style parody of his life as a Cuban immigrant and that the superstar is unfairly keeping him from making money. “She’s destroying my life,” says Ojani, who was waiting tables when he met Jennifer.

[From Life & Style]

Meh, it probably is just a process server. Those guys get mistaken for stalkers all the time, and they’re just trying to do their jobs. Or is there something more to this? Do you think Jennifer cares enough to hire people to follow her ex around? I kind of buy it – because to believe one part of the story, you have to believe the other. If Jennifer is making potions and hexes for the people she hates, and she’s afraid that those stories will get out, then she’s definitely crazy enough to hire someone to follow, stalk, and threaten Noa. God, sometimes I just love Jennifer. She really is a lot crazier than people realize. And if you don’t love her, she’ll hex you real good.

Jennifer Lopez is seen at the ‘This Is It’ premiere in Los Angeles on October 27, 2009. Ojani Noa is seen on July 14, 2005. Credit for all: WENN

Sunday night, Gerard Butler walked the red carpet for the UK premiere of Law Abiding Citizen. The premiere was held in Glasgow, Scotland, otherwise known as Gerry’s hometown. Otherwise known as where his mum still lives. So of course, Gerard had to don a kilt and take his mom as his date. By the way, “Gerard’s mom” and “my future mother-in-law” are now synonymous, just FYI. The whole thing was pretty cute, quite honestly. I love a man in a kilt. He told Scotland’s STV “It has been pretty extra special here tonight. I was pretty shocked by the big wave that hit me when I got out the car, there was a lot of noise… The last premiere I did here was for Dear Frankie which was in Edinburgh, to be able to come back to Glasgow, where I’m from, to realise the excitement, about the film, and to see that many people and that excitement in the crowd, you couldn’t ask for more than that.” Aw… I love Dear Frankie. Has everyone seen that one? It’s one of Gerard’s best.

Anyhoodle, after the premiere, Gerard headed down to London to begin promoting the film in earnest. He made his second appearance on England’s GMTV in like three months – the last time he went on, he played “weather girl” and made jokes about Scottish rain. For this visit, Gerard was busy as a beaver denying all of the alleged hookups he’s been having:

DID Gerard Butler really hook up with Jennifer Aniston and Lindsay Lohan?

The Scottish actor — who stars opposite Jamie Foxx in new movie Law Abiding Citizen — says rumors surrounding his personal life are “getting ridiculous”.

Speaking on British TV, Butler said that if he’s so much as seen with another woman, the press assume the pair are dating, “even if I’ve just spoken to them for two seconds.”

“Even if it’s the early stage of you dating somebody, or even just a friend who’s a girl and you go ‘I want to take her down the red carpet’ — it’s not worth the bother,” he said.

“In actual fact, the crazy thing is I’ve had a couple of relationships during this that nobody knew about. Meanwhile they’re speculating about people who I have nothing going on with, so it’s been quite funny to witness this.”

Butler, 40, recently revealed that he almost always falls in love with the wrong girls. “I don’t know because often I feel that I meet a girl that is unexpected,” he said. “There is no rhyme or reason. I always thought I don’t want a girl who is too crazy, too much for me, and then I meet a girl who is crazy and I go, ‘Wow, she is amazing.’”

“But I can’t ever give a definite kind of woman because there are different things in different women I might like. I might like a girl who is gentle and innocent, but then again I might like a woman who is more statuesque and strong and powerful, it’s the polar opposites. It just depends on the moment, on the person, on magic.”

[From Showbiz Spy]

I have no doubt Gerard falls for the wrong girls. I also have no doubt that Gerard f-cks anything that moves. There’s a reason he’s 40 years old and never been married. One reason: he doesn’t really care about getting married because he’s having too much fun. Second reason: he picks horrible women and he has crappy taste in girls. Third reason: he hasn’t met me yet. I really don’t know what’s taking him so long – he would love me, I know it. I’m crazy, but not too crazy. I’m powerful, but I have no upper body strength (never been able to do a pull-up in my life). I’m gentle, sort of. When I’m not shanking a bitch. Gerry, I’m yours!

Gerard Butler and his mom at the premiere of “Law Abiding Citizen” in Glasgow, Scotland on November 15, 2009.

Sharon Stone is killing me! I love this picture so, so much. I love the fug, ridiculous dress, I love that Sharon is mid-cackle in the photo, I love that she accessorized with a leather jacket and a top hat. This bitch is so crazy, this outfit barely scratches the damn surface. Oops… correction: the fug, sheer bottom is actually a pair of pants, not a skirt. Who the fug makes this junk?

Apparently, the dress is Dior Haute Couture – which, you know, sucks for Dior. You want Crazy McCackle to show off your designs? Uh, no. Sharon wore this get-up to the Elton John AIDS Foundation’s “An Enduring Vision” benefit in New York City on Monday night. On the red carpet, there is picture after picture of Sharon with the leather jacket covering her up. There’s only one picture of this – which I guess means that Sharon knew the outfit was fug, and she just decided to laugh about it.

Okay, now I’ll be nice to Crazy Pants. Sharon was being honored at the event for her tireless work with HIV/AIDS charities. She really does believe in her AIDS work, and I applaud her for it. It’s not some flash in the pan involvement – she’s been deeply commited to a wide range of AIDS charities for decades now. She and President Bill Clinton were both honorees last night, and Elton John didn’t cancel his appearance at the event either, even though he’s been very sick with an E. coli infection. Anderson Cooper was the M.C. of the event, and you know he cracked a joke or two about the Crazy Pants.

Former ESPN analyst Steve Phillips’ mistress – a 22 year-old production assistant who stalked his family and posed as a teenager in order to get information from his son on Facebook, was on Good Morning America this morning. Brooke Hundley claims that she’s been attacked by the press and irreparably hurt, particularly by Jay Leno pointing out that Phillips’ wife is hot and she’s not. (I’m not sure how to embed the video, but you can watch it here on CBS.com.)

In case you’re unfamiliar with this story, Hundley repeatedly tried to contact Phillips’ wife to tell her the details of the affair once Phillips broke up with her. Phillips admits to the affair, but claims he only slept with Hundley three times. Hundley befriended Phillips’ teen son on Facebook claiming to be a classmate and grilled him about his parents’ relationship. She repeatedly called his wife trying to get her to talk. When the wife disconnected the phone, Hundley drove to Phillips’ home in Wilton, CT to leave a psycho note about how much she meant to this married guy who had already dumped her. Key passages in the note include “I’m a real person in his life and… care deeply about his happiness,” and “I’m not just some random girl he had sex with in parking lots.” His wife pulled into the driveway as Hundley was leaving the note, and called the police and tried to use her truck to block Hundley’s car from leaving. Hundley drove over the yard and hit a stone column in her haste to escape. Phillips later got a restraining order against Hundley.

In the interview, Hundley has a real “poor me” attitude about a situation in which she more than deserved the public backlash against her atrocious behavior. Yes, Phillips shouldn’t have cheated, but she went crazy and went after his family. It really looks like she’s fake crying at first when she talks about the press making fun of her looks, and she says she had to ask a friend to stay with her because “mentally, I would not be able to take much more.”

Hundley claims that Phillips threatened her career if she went forward with claims against him, and she kind of half-said she tried to talk to someone at work about it and gave up. After the story came out, she got canned by ESPN. They issued a statement read on ABC that “Our investigation determined that Hundley’s characterization of the events was inconsistent.”

You know who this chick reminds me of? Kate Major, that ex Star reporter who went crying to just about every outlet that Jon Gosselin dumped her ass after promising her the moon and the stars. Except this girl went after her married ex’s family and that is wrong on so many levels. He’s just as culpable as she is for the affair, but she hurt his wife and kids and there’s no excuse for that.

Hundley barely apologized for the stunts she pulled and showed how narcissistic and unhinged she is. She said “I obviously feel pain for anybody else that I may have brought into this situation,” and then she added “but I did things and I thought about things just as an avenue just to get people to pay attention.”

When the interviewer told Hundley that her letter was scary to Phillips’ wife, she turned it around again into an “I’m the victim” thing and said “it’s the same fear that I felt for months before.” Give me a break.

As for what she would say to Marni Phillips, the wife of the guy stupid enough to sleep with her, she said “the same fear that I heard in her voice [in the 911 call when she was at her house] was similar fear to how I have felt, and I would never want anybody else to… go through what I was going through.”

Again she repeated the crap about wanting someone to pay attention to her. “I brought it on [the negative press attention] but not intentionally. I simply wanted somebody to get upset enough to have an impact to get me out of this horrific situation.”

What did Glen Close say in Fatal Attraction – “I will not be ignored,” right? This girl is insane. It doesn’t matter to her who she hurts as long as someone pays attention to her.

Good Morning America reminds us at the end of this segment that Steve Phillips has been fired from ESPN, he’s now in rehab for sex addiction and that his wife has filed for divorce. This isn’t the first time he’s cheated with a woman at work. In the late 90s he was sued for sexual harassment by a female coworker he had an affair with.

Maybe this outfit is too “high fashion” for my tastes. Maybe I’m not cool enough to get it. But only one word comes to mind when I look at this dress. That word is “fug”. It makes me sad. It obviously makes Kristen sad too, considering she looks either depressed or like she’s forcing a smile in all of these pictures. Does she know that her dress sucks? Anyway, here’s Kristen Stewart and the New Moon gang at the London premiere Wednesday night. In a weird coincidence, I was wondering the other day if Sparkles had the same kind of sketchy, ridiculous, violent Twihard fanbase in his home country, England. Now I know – he does. And the English Twihards are just as f-cking crazy. The Daily Mail reports that Twihards had written “Bite Me” on their faces (probably in permanent ink), while one girl had a handmade poster that read… chuckle… that read… giggle… okay, this is what was written: “’You’ll look at me with eyes that see and we’ll melt into each other’s arms.” Damn it, English Twihards! You are killing me!

Already being touted as the next Hugh Grant, 23-year-old Pattinson is the star of the series of films, high school dramas about a teenage vampire. Such is the popularity of the films, which are based on the books by US author Stephanie Meyer, that many are tipping the franchise to become even more successful than Harry Potter.

Around 2,000 hysterical fans- almost exclusively women – descended on south London and queued in freezing conditions to meet Pattinson and his co-star Kristen Stewart, 19, who were hosting a question and answer session.

It was arranged to appease fans distraught that the film’s makers had ditched plans for a London Premiere of the second film in the series. A further 2,000 fans had been allowed inside the venue. They had beaten tens of thousands of other hopefuls after applying through the Twilight fansite.

Mere mention of his name was met with deafening screams from the crowd. The reaction was extraordinary given that just six years ago, he was still a schoolboy with minor roles with a local amateur dramatic society. He even had to take small time modelling jobs to find his education at the 13,500 pound a year Harrodian school in South West London.

Tonight’s scenes were even more manic than last year when the first film premiered in London. That film – released last November – made more the £50m pounds in its first three days at the box-office. It has since gone on to make more than £300million.

Pattinson now has hundreds of fan sites dedicated to him. Many fans had been camped outside the venue in Battersea Park since 8am yesterday morning with hundreds travelling from countries such as Bulgaria and Spain in a bid to meet Pattinson and the rest of the cast.

One fan, Elisa, 18, who arrived with a sign that read, ‘Robert, bite me’, said: ‘I’ve come all the way from Spain and been here all day to try and make sure I got to the front. I’m obsessed with the films and the books. Robert is the most handsome man I’ve ever seen he’s the main reason I’m here.’

The star is rumoured to be in a relationship with his co-star Kristen Stewart, who appeared underwhelming in a green skirt and top, although the pair did not reveal anything as they walked the red carpet with Pattinson saying: ‘It’s speculative.’

Ms Stewart, 19, chose to concentrate on how they behaved on-screen. The actress said: ‘Any good relationship that I’ve ever had with an actor has always been so emotional and personal. If you don’t have that then you’re just lying.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Oh, yes. Sparkles is “the next Hugh Grant” – barf to that. But I love that his answer to the romance rumors was “it’s speculative.” That’s cracking me just as much as the crazed Twihards. And, in case you didn’t get enough of Sparkles (and who could?), Radar did a sort of “Sparkles’ Greatest Hits: The London Recordings” (stuff from the London press conference), in which Kristen and Taylor Lautner were obviously in attendance as well. Radar has the video up, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t watched this thing three times already. Sparkles’ natural voice kills me – his accent is so lovely. But, if you do watch the video, watch how he takes a gulp of water – he’s a strange drinker, yes? It’s like he’s trying to French kiss the glass. Here’s Radar’s transcript of the greatest hits:

In the world wide promotional tour for New Moon, the three stars and the director sat down for a press conference on Wednesday in Rob’s hometown of London, and he was quite charming talking about the changes he deals with in his everyday life.

“It’s such a novelty to me still,” the scruffy vampire heartthrob said about the fame and fan attention he receives. “If I’m still stuck in hotel rooms in 10 years and I have figured any other way to deal with it other than hiding it probably would annoy me a little bit.”

While we didn’t see any romantic interaction between Rob and Kristen at the press conference, Rob and Kristen were spotted Tuesday evening holding hands as they left Paris for London. Sitting in between his co-stars during the press conference, Rob gave Kristen a playful elbow to answer a question, but alas, that was all the touching between Bella and Edward. Taylor stepped in and answered the question, saying “I’m always surprised by fan reactions.”

When asked what he missed RPattz said “I guess I miss doing open mike,” and we’re sure fans would love to see the leader of the Brit Pack perform a song or two. “I really miss driving,” Rob confessed. “I never had a car in London and so I got my car in LA last summer so I only had three moths driving without 10 cars following you so I’m scared to drive now.” Kristen smiled as he told the story, and we’re sure she sympathizes with having so many people follow her.

[From Radar]

Yeah, Kristen watches him pretty much every time he speaks. She’s not really giving him a look of love, or even a “come over here and kiss me” look, but there’s something… sweet about the way she is with him. She seems very girly to me all of a sudden, like she’s not as concerned with being so hardcore.

Here are Kristen Stewart, Robert “Sparkles” Pattinson and Taylor Lautner on the red carpet for the premiere of New moon in London, England on November 11, 2009. I threw in one picture of the English Twihards. Credit: WENN