Cele|bitchy » Cults

Mar 15
'06

Are Katie and Tom already married?

Tom Cruise holding Katie Holme's hand with the caption: you're never getting away now
No wonder they’re fighing so much. The Enquirer is set to report that Tom and Katie got married in a tripped-out Scientology ceremony at sea eight months ago:

One of the church’s chaplains married the couple early last July in a ceremony at sea, according to The National Enquirer.

Cruise and Holmes, who met a few months earlier, are said to have exchanged rings emblazoned with triangular Scientology symbols during a Caribbean cruise aboard the sect’s ship the Freewinds. (They supposedly wear their rings only at church functions.) Holmes, who once claimed she would remain virginal until her wedding day, wore white, says the tab.

After the ceremony, the couple walked across a tiny bridge Ã¢â‚¬â€ a Scientology symbol for the journey to “total freedom,” sources claim. Scientologists John Travolta and Kirstie Alley are said to have been on the ship, where guests also celebrated Cruise’s 43rd birthday.

Katie’s family was not there, and of course Tom’s rep is denying it.

They were married in some freaky ritual. Now when they break up all of Katie’s thetans will come back to torment her with their memories of mass extinction and she’ll never achieve a state of clarity like Tom Cruise.

Posted in Cults, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, TomKat, Weddings

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Mar 15
'06

Madonna really cares about her children

Madonna is such a good mother. She’s making sure her kids will be even more fucked up when they grow up by ensuring that they’re indoctrinated into her sham religion, Kabbalah. Here she is leaving the Kabbalah center with her spawn on 3/3/06.

Meanwhile Lourdes, 9, has a stylist to help her turn into a little slut like her mom:

When your mom’s the original Material Girl, best known for her outrÃ¢â‚¬Å¡ dress sense, could you expect anything less? Little Lourdes was styled to a T - sporting trendy Converse All Stars, green knee-highs, a retro 80s-style denim skirt, and a striped henley.

“I think her stylist was trying to go for ‘The Littlest Pussycat Doll’ look,” says celeb stylist Shane Cisneros. “Lourdes has the ability to wear anything just like her mother - here, she’s channeling mom’s Danceteria days.”

And yes, you read that right - the 9-year-old has a stylist.

Whatever the look, it’s clear from this picture that Lourdes is precocious, says behavioral analyst and body language expert Maxine Lucille Fiel.

“The way she’s standing shows that she may be coming into early womanhood,” Fiel says. “I think she’s now entering a very interesting phase of adolescence and I wish Madonna luck.

Pictures [via]

Four more after the jump.

(Read more…)

Posted in Cults, Kids, Madonna, Photos

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Mar 9
'06

Tom and Katie try to recruit Beckhams

Picture of Katie and Tom smiling wide with sunglasses on and the caption You are under our spell
Cult expert Rick Ross reports that Katie Holmes’ friendship with Victoria Beckham is not all that it seems, and that Tom and Katie have been working together to recruit the Beckhams into Scientology:

Is “TomKat” working like a tag team to get Great Britain’s top celebrity couple into the controversial organization, often called a “cult”?

“Victoria has become a mother hen to Katie and was thrilled when she asked her to be her birthing partner. Victoria remembers how scary it was when she had her first child. She can’t imagine how difficult it will be for Katie to give birth [Scientology style] quietly and without any pain killers” a source told the press.

Well, maybe all that pain will be worth it if Scientology’s top star can recruit the most popular British celebs outside the royal family.

The Beckhams certainly are dumb enough to get recruited into Scientology, and it would not be surprising if they converted.

It’s amazing how many celebrities get recruited into dangerous and expensive cults. Other celebrities involved in Scientology include Kelly Preston, John Travolta, Juliette Lewis, Kirstie Alley, Jason Lee, and musician Beck.

Katie is due to give birth in a month or two depending on who you believe. Life and Style, not known for accuracy, reported twice in mid-February that the two had split. Cruise threatened to sue over the story, but did not follow through.

Posted in Beckham, Cults, Katie Holmes, SmartSmartSmart, Tom Cruise, TomKat, Victoria Beckham

Written by Celebitchy See post for comments

Mar 5
'06

Brainwashed Madonna wants to buy Isreali real estate

Madonna is looking for holy real estate in Isreal to help spread the word of the Kaballah cult:

This piece of property must be a “house overlooking the Sea of Galilee at the place where followers of her Kabbalist faith expect the Messiah to reappear” reports the Sunday Times.

One woman who owns an old stone cottage in this designated space for future miracles says she will happily sell her home to Madonna for double the going price, a cool $1 million dollars.

The pop star supposedly wants to renovate whatever property she picks up into a reading room for her Kabbalah cronies.

Cult expert Rick Ross reported earlier that Madonna’s relationship with Guy was in trouble due to his healthy suspicions of to her involvement with the harmful cult.

Posted in Cults, Madonna

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Feb 25
'06

Not without my daughter/son!

Tom holding Katie's stomach, with the caption - that womb is mine! In yet another disturbing chapter of the TomKat saga, Mike Wallace of the National Enquirer reports that Scientologists plan to commandeer Katie’s baby for three days after its birth. What’s more, the baby will be isolated for a day after it’s born. Despite reports that she’s spending 8 hours a day being indoctrinated into Scientology, Katie has come to her senses and is questioning this counter-intuitive practice:

furious KATIE HOLMES warned fiancÃƒÂ©/daddy-to-be TOM CRUISE that she’ll absolutely refuse to allow Scientologists to commandeer her newborn at birth for what their church calls “Processing a New Mother” - a bizarre ritual which involves separating mother and child for three days, allowing only minimal contact! As her time approaches, sources say, Katie’s becoming hysterical over the idea that her baby will be controlled by the sect’s handlers from the moment he/she enters the world. In a raging confrontation, Katie told Tom she flatly rejects Scientology’s edict that newborns should be left totally alone for the entire first day after birth.

Any human who’s not brainwashed would agree that it’s harmful and cruel to leave a newborn baby alone at any time, especially on its first day in the world. It’s also quite difficult, if not impossible, to breastfeed if you don’t start up within the first three days after birth. This is wrong for so many reasons.

Scientology is a cult that ruins lives, even the most vulnerable ones, to rake in big bucks.

Posted in Babies, Cults, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, TomKat

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