There’s a lot of mean things I’ll say about Tom Cruise. Most of them I won’t publish, but I’ll say a whole lot of defamatory things about him when no lawyers are around to hear it. Apparently In Touch magazine has a pretty similar rumor. They’ve gone all-out and hired an investigator to look into Tom Cruise’s sexuality. And you’ll be shocked by what they found. I’m talking scraping your jaw off the floor.

The magazine’s headline reads “FINALLY THE TRUTH.” And we all know how the Scientologist are fans of free speech and really encourage speaking the truth, especially when it comes to their golden boy. Or should I saw paid spokeswhore. Not shockingly, In Touch’s highly respected private detective (a former porn star, no less) has come to the irrefutable conclusion that Tom’s straight as an arrow. An arrow that’s pointing at another guy’s butt.

He’s been married three times and has also been romantically linked with some of Hollywood’s most desirable women. Yet for nearly his entire career, Tom Cruise has been subject to pervasive rumors that he’s gay. Though Tom’s camp has repeatedly denied the talk, it has persisted over the years, with two men even claiming to have had affairs with him — tales which Tom was willing to challenge in a court of law. Now, after conducting an extensive investigation of the gay rumors, porn star-turned-private investigator Paul Barresi is speaking to In Touch about his findings. “Everything I’ve found and everything I know points to Tom being heterosexual,” Paul tells In Touch.

[From In Touch]

Not surprisingly, In Touch is making us wait until the issue hits the stands to learn all the reasons Tom is straight. I’m guessing it’s going to be like “He’s been married 3 times. Only straight men marry women.” “He likes boobs.” “Scientology loves gay people – if Tom were gay, he’d be open about it.” Tom’s just too… something. It’s hard to put your finger on. It’s not like he actively shows any of the stereotypical traits we’ve come to associate with gay people. There’s just something artificial about the way he interacts with women he’s supposedly sexually interested in. While I love Nicole Kidman, I could maybe excuse that one – she seems a little cold. But Katie Holmes? I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, and I’m a straight woman. Or maybe not. Maybe they should send this former porn star detective after me, and see what my issues are. Something tells me Tom was able to bribe Paul Barresi with things only Tom can provide. Wait was Barresi a gay porn star? Let’s go with yes, that makes this funnier. So happy Thanksgiving, and Tom Cruise is not gay. That’s almost as good as extra mashed potatoes.

Important Note by Celebitchy: This story is a complete turnaround from earlier claims by Baressi. The guy wrote a book, segments of which were published online in September 2006, saying that he spoke with a male hooker who had a bizarre wrestling jerk-off session with Tom in the late 90s toward the end of his relationship with Kidman. We covered this extensively at the time.

Then a guy claiming to be the hooker who wrestled with Tom Cruise contacted me and we had an extended e-mail exchange. He was extremely wary of telling his story and never did in the end, just giving vague statements that Baressi’s account, which again at that time was that Cruise was indeed gay or at least had gay experiences, was not true.

So the hooker guy, who was reluctant and could not be convinced to tell his story, e-mailed me and made hints that it didn’t happen that way and that Cruise wasn’t gay. (Believe me, I wish it went the other way with this guy, but it didn’t. It’s possible he was a plant by someone, but he was so evasive with me, and so unprofessional about it, that I would say he just got scared in the end and didn’t tell the whole story, which he suggested was less incriminating toward Tom.)

I spent a week e-mailing with a guy who claims to be “Big Red,” the male hooker that supposedly had a rather tame gay wrestling romp with Tom in the late 90s. The guy didn’t tell me his story and I kept e-mailing with him back and forth, hoping that he would write something I could publish.

He claimed that the story told by another guy, Barresi that we published here was inaccurate, and that it didn’t go down like it was claimed, but the guy wasted my time and didn’t give any details. Here’s the relevant part of our e-mail exchange. Again, I cannot verify that this is the person he claims to be or that this is anything more than a person who strung me along via e-mail for a week, but here’s what he said:

———————————
Segment of one e-mail toward the end of our exchange: I just do not think the story I have to tell is what you are looking for but I will think about it.

Another e-mail: I am actually looking to build Tom Cruise up not break him down

Last one I received: I’m not getting a good vibe from this at the moment - - I think I will wait and I may neveer publish the real story - - afterall, I believe in Karma and Barresi will have to deal with his.
———————————
It sounds like whatever happened, it was even less sensational than was claimed, at least according to this person who contacted me and got my hopes up about running this big exclusive. (I even contacted a lawyer and a cult expert about how to proceed, which may be why he got a bad vibe. You can’t be too careful with the c0s.) This guy claims to live in Europe now. The book by Barresi says that he left the states after the news of his supposed romp with Cruise got out, but I can’t be certain what’s true at this point. Tom Cruise is weird and is involved in a harmful freaky cult, but whether he actually had a gay wrestling session is up to question.

[I wrote this, it was originally published on Celebitchy in November, 2006]

So now this same guy Baressi is all “Oh, Tom Cruise isn’t gay.” What happened?

Meanwhile Cruise biographer Andrew Morton, who has a supposedly explosive unauthorized biography of Cruise coming out this January, has sold his house and is now in an undisclosed location after extensive harassment by Scientology thugs defending Tom’s character. Perhaps Baressi was engaged in a little character-saving PR of his own, if he’s so quick to switch his story. Maybe the hooker guy was right and it was never true in the first place. Either way, I’ll be reading Mr. Morton’s book with wide-eyed interest.

Update 2: Baressi has commented specifically on this post, and clarifies that he never claimed in his book to have checked out Big Red’s claims, and that it was now-jailed celebrity lawyer Anthony Pellicano who told him the story checked out. Pellicano was a notorious double-dealer, and routinely dug up dirt on celebrities in order to secure deals representing them. I re-read the chapter online of Baressi’s book that I referred to, and he’s right - he never claimed to have checked out Big Red personally, he was just quoting Pellicano, who told The Enquirer that the story wasn’t true, while telling Baressi that it checked out. Our apologies to Mr. Baressi for misunderstanding and misrepresenting his earlier position. One thing Mr. Baressi did say was that “He [Big Red] spoke with such conviction, I truly believed his story,” but once he investigated, it didn’t pan out. We will issue a full story with correction after Mr. Baressi answers some questions we have for him in the comments.

Here are his comments on this story:

To clarify: In first draft of my book, Pellicano’s Enforcer/the “Seeing Red” chapter, I write, “Red survived (Anthony) Pellicano’s brutal questioning. Anthony later pulled me aside and said, “I think this kid’s telling the truth. I find him to be credible.” Just to clarify, it was Pellicano who said this; not I.

As written in chapter, subsequently, (Anthony Pellicano) phoned me at home to let me know, “So far, all the information Red gave him seemed to be checking out.” Again, this is Pellicano talking; not I.

Also, it is clear in chapter that it is Pellicano; not I, who claimed, “Tom Cruise had, indeed, been in London shooting Eyes Wide Shut on the days Red alleged to have been there and that he did have a body guard named Mickey.” And, it is clear in chapter that it is Pellicano; not I who made the claim that (Cruise’s alleged body guard, Mickey) “happened to be currently doing time for murder. (and he told me that) He expected to receive a mug shot shortly.”

If you go back and read the chapter, you’ll read I said, “It all sounded so convoluted and bizarre to me.”

So happens, I was right, it was all convoluted. Pellicano was not telling me the truth.

I conducted my own investigation and discovered Cruise was not in London at time Red alleged to have met him as Pellicano claimed. I also found out that the line Pellicano gave me about the body guard Mickey being in prison for murder was all a sham as well.

My investigation of the Cruise gay rumors continued long after Pellicano was arrested, right up until very recently.

I concluded my findings only a short while ago– after which I decided to give the interview to IN TOUCH.

This will all be explained in great detail in the FINAL DRAFT of book.

[Comment by Paul Baressi on this post]

Add Will Smith to the list of celebrities duped into endorsement Scientology by rockstar-level perks and star treatment not afforded the members who end in forking over their life savings and all free will to the harmful cult. There are even rumors that along with giving celebrities free vacations and catering to their every whim, Scientology pays heavily for the priceless endorsements given by high-level stars.

While not admitting that he’s a current member of the cult, Will Smith gives an implicit endorsement to them. He compares Scientology to the Bible in a new interview with Men’s Vogue. He shows that he has little understanding of Scientology by saying “like 98 percent of the principles [of Scientology] are identical to the principles of the Bible”

Fox News says that Smith is “coming out” as a Scientologist, but while he gives them a raving endorsement he minces words a little, never directly admitting that he’s a member. He says “in all of the experiences I’ve had with Tom and Scientology,” suggesting he’s a dabbler doing a favor to Tom in mentioning it, and isn’t a full blown follower of the cult. So, like Jerry Seinfeld, maybe he’s just saying stupidly that it’s A-OK with him but that he isn’t currently involved with it:

Smith admits in the issue of Men’s Vogue on sale Tuesday that he has studied Scientology with Tom Cruise and doesn’t disagree with its basic tenets.

In doing so, he finally “comes out,” joining Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and a handful of other Hollywood types in their devotion to this controversial religion.

For a long time, Smith has denied joining the Church of Scientology with his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, explaining that it would go against the beliefs of his late grandmother. But for some time, insiders in Hollywood have insisted the Smiths were, indeed, brought in by Cruise.

Smith concedes that his kids are being home-schooled, just as are those of Cruise, Travolta and other Scientologists.

In the article, Smith refers to “Thetans,” who are space aliens in the vernacular of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

“… in all of the experiences I’ve had with Tom and Scientology, like 98 percent of the principles are identical to the principles of the Bible,” Smith tells Men’s Vogue writer Hudson Morgan.

“The Bible says, ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ And you know, there’s a Scientology principle: ‘Do not create experiences for others that they cannot comfortably perceive.’”

He continues: “The Bible talks about your spirit being immortal, that you were created for existence beyond your physical body. Well, that’s no different from Scientology. I don’t think that because the word someone uses for ’spirit’ is ‘thetan’ that the definition becomes any different.”

[From FoxNews.com via The Huffington Post]

By acting like Scientology is this benign religion, celebrities are doing their part to help dupe countless people into trying it. It’s a harmful cult that stops at nothing to discredit and harass anyone that dares question their illogical, sneaky, and cruel tactics. It’s not a religion, nor do it’s teachings have more than a superficial resemblance to the bible. And unlike the Bible, which is free and available to all, the Scientologists have gone to great pains to hide their central beliefs, holding out on their version of the origins of mankind and what will happen at the end of the world until members reach the highest levels, which take years of study and tens of thousands of dollars.

Scientology was started by a failed drug addict science fiction writer whose express purpose was to get rich by bilking people. Will Smith may make a living out of pretending to slay evil-doers, but he’s sure stupid enough in his personal life to do their bidding. Maybe good will prevail in the end and Will Smith will denounce Scientology, but they probably have enough dirt on him to make that very difficult for him.

Update: US Weekly notes that Smith lumps Scientology in with more established legitimate religions in that same interview, saying “I’ve studied Buddhism and Hinduism, and I’ve studied Scientology through Tom [Cruise].” So he’s not saying that he’s a member, just that he tried it. They also note that his wife, Jada, is “more gung-ho about Scientology than Will.”

Tom Cruise and Will Smith are shown at the Lions for Lambs premiere on 11/1/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

If you thought Usher couldn’t get any more douchy after threatening to sue one of his biggest fansites for reprinting negative articles about his pregnant tranny wife that originated somewhere else - you were wrong. Usher is said to be converting to Tom Cruise’s cult, Scientology.

Usher even wants his baby to be raised in the traditions of the cult. It’s doubtful he grasps what it entails since he’s learning about Scientology by going through the gradual process of getting brainwashed and bilked out of his cash by the cult itself instead of just spending 10 minutes reading about it on the Internet like the rest of us. That means that even if Usher comes to his senses and realizes that Scientology is only going to ruin his life, he can’t really speak out against them because they’ve already gathered enough incriminating information about him in the auditing process to threaten him with for the rest of his life. Maybe that’s really why Seinfeld said it was so awesome - so they wouldn’t reveal the average gay experience he had in college.

It looks like Scientology is adding another celebrity to it’s ranks… Usher! “He’s so excited,” a source close to the singer tells Star, “He’s in training now.” The reason: fatherhood! “He thinks it’s important to raise his baby as a Scientology,” says the source. Usher, who is expecting a boy with new wife Tameka Foster any day now, is so serious that he co-chaired a $1,500-a-plate fundraiser for both his New Look Foundation and Scientology’s controversial New York City Rescue Workers Detoxification Project in Las Vegas on November 3. The project claims to help Ground Zero workers detox with the help of saunas and vitamins instead of medication. Meanwhile, über-Scientologist Tom Cruise sits on the board of Usher’s foundation, which tries to assist “underserved communities” through social programs.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 26, 2007]

It sounds like Tom Cruise was instrumental in getting Usher involved in Scientology since he’s on the board of Usher’s charitable foundation. Maybe Usher stupidly thought it would be good for his career.

Does this mean that Tameka has to resist the urge to yell at Usher during the birth, and will little Usher the umpteenth have to be fed barley water instead of breast milk or formula? All jokes aside, Usher is an ass but he doesn’t deserve to get sucked into Scientology. Best wishes to Usher and his family for a quick and uneventful exit from the cult that doesn’t involve intimidation or blackmail.

Usher is shown on 11/3/07 hosting “an Evening at LAX Nightclub in Las Vegas” thanks to PRPhotos.

the last time Connor, Isabella, Tom and Katie were photographed together, 12/10/06.
Doesn’t it seem like Tom Cruise stopped pimping out his two older kids once Suri was old enough to start generating “aww, shucks” photo ops every few days? I was looking through the photo agencies trying to find pictures of Isabella, and the last time she was photographed out was when she died her hair blue while visiting her mom in Australia way back in May. Then we heard that 14 year-old Isabella and her 12 year-old brother, Connor, were busy being indoctrinated into the illogical and soul-sucking Scientology cult this summer, which may have explained why we haven’t seen them in a while.

But what about their sports games? Didn’t Tom and Katie show up at a soccer or football game constantly last fall? The Cruise kids are home-schooled and spoonfed cult nonsense, but at least they had the semblance of a normal life through involvement in sports. Isabella and Connor might still be playing sports this year, but if they are Tom and Katie aren’t showing up to cheer them on and embarrass them with well-documented PDA on the sidelines. They haven’t been photographed at a match since December, 2006.

So what’s up with Isabella and Connor? Are they even still around? Star Magazine says Isabella is at least home enough to swipe her stepmom Katie Holmes’ clothes, and that sounds like refreshingly normal behavior for a ninth grade girl. Of course her marathon-running stepmom is a bit too small to provide an endless supply of couture, but a lot of her shirts fit Isabella, and since Katie never wears anything twice she doesn’t seem to mind:

When Katie Holmes got back to L.A. from a recent visit to see hubby Tom Cruise in Germany, she discovered something amiss with her wardrobe. Her designer duds had been plundered - and the culprit was her stepdaughter Isabella!

“Bella has a wild streak in her that she expresses in the ay she dresses,” a friend of Katie tells Star. “She loves an eclectic look and gets that by mixing and matching her own clothes with designer pieces of Katie’s.”

The 14-year-old… is tired of the “conservative and old-fashioned” clothes her parents buy her, says the friend.

They get her things like Theory basics, “but she’d much rather go through Katie’s closet and find a Chloé shirt,” another insider reveals.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 19, 2007]

There are too many insiders for this story to be plausible, but it sounds likely. Maybe a writer at Star has a teenage daughter and is getting her stuff swiped too. I know I had a huge issue with my mom when I was that age because I was constantly wearing her shoes and rifling through her jewelry. Once you hit the age when you realize that there’s all this great stuff in your house you could be wearing there’s no stopping you. It doesn’t matter which family member it belongs too.

As it is, Isabella would have to be home to get Katie’s stuff, and she hasn’t been seen out with Tom, Katie, or Nicole in six months. Are Isabella and Conner children of convenience for Tom or are they so sucked up in the cult that they never see their parents anymore?

Header image is of Connor, Isabella, Tom and Katie on December 10, 2006, the last time they were all photographed together from what I can tell. That was when Tom got fat for like a month. If you have seen photos of them together or heard that they attended an event with any of their parents in the last six months let me know. Katie did go out shopping with Isabella way back in December of last year. And Connor and Isabella went to the Kids Choice Awards with Nicole in March of this year.

Isabella is also shown below with those blue streaks in her hair on 5/5/07 in Australia. You know that had to piss off the COS. Thanks to Splash News.

This week’s Star Magazine has Katie Holmes jealous over a supposed on-set ongoing flirtation Tom had with a pretty German brunette extra in Berlin, but OK! Magazine features a fawning piece that focuses on the elaborate meal Katie planned for Valentine’s day. Star claims they’re having trouble at the eve of their upcoming anniversary, while OK! says they’re supportive of each other and take time to communicate and that everything is all so rosy.

Neither article has much substance. Star says that along with being pissed off at the attention Tom is showing some unnamed extra, Katie “may feel threatened by his leading lady, Carice Van Houten, 31,” since “the chemistry is obvious” when they work together. Supposedly Tom talks too much about how beautiful and what a great actress Clarice is, but I think Star is inventing stuff to be able to put Tom and Katie on the cover. At least OK! has some details to back up their claims that sound like they’re actually true.

OK! offers a few examples of why all the happy marriage cliché’s apply. Among the inset features in the article are two different stories about how the Scientology cult goes out of their way to ensure that Tom and Katie are treated like royalty, comping them expensive vacations and creating an entire luxury apartment for them in Beverly Hills while they wait for renovations to be completed on their home. The amount of trouble and expense the cult goes through to ensure their highest profile members are happy is outrageous:

After plunking down $35 million for the perfect Beverly Hills love nest, Tom immediately began renovating the home. The work wasn’t done by the time the lease on their current house expired in September, so a friend of Tom tells OK!, “The had the old house completely packed and put into storage.” Technically, the Cruises were homeless in Beverly Hills - until the Scientology Celebrity Centre International stepped in…

After knocking down walls and doing a round-the-clock overhaul of some space on the building’s sixth and seventh floors, a luxurious duplex apartment was created for the Cruises to use whenever they need. Their temporary home has a living room with a terrace, a dining room, a full kitchen, separate offices for Tom and Katie and a fully equipped gym. The master bedroom, which has its own private terrace, has an adjoining nursery for Suri. There are two additional bedrooms for Connor and Isabella.

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, November 12, 2007]

One of those other bedrooms is probably for Katie, because she and Tom don’t sleep in the same room according to many accounts.

And in case a fully decked out completely free apartment in Beverly Hills isn’t enough to keep the Cruise’s smiling and advocating the cult, they were also on vacation in Florida recently at Scientology’s expense. OK! says that they went missing for a few days and that’s where they were, not that we noticed:

When Tom celebrated his 45th birthday on July 3, the whole world awaited photos of the family together, but to no avail. OK! has learned that the couple, along with Connor, Isabella and little Suri, snuck away to Clearwater, Florida, where they stayed at the Scientology Center complex (Clearwater is the worldwide headquarters for Scientology) for two days.

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, November 12, 2007]

Of course Tom’s entire family came along, and supposedly Katie chartered a yacht, but I’m guessing the Scientology people had more to do with that.

Plus the head of Scientology, the guy that was rumored to have joined them on their honeymoon (a story that Tom’s rep denies) was also there.

They were joined by Tom’s mother, Mary Lee, his sisters Cass, Marian and Lee Anne, and Tom’s best friend David Miscavige, who is the head of Scientology.

“Katie arranged for the charter of a fabulous yacht,” a friend of Tom tells OK!. “It was a gorgeous day and they sailed around the Clearwater Harbor for a while and then anchored on a private barrier island. Everything had been set up for just off the sand for a sunset dinner…”

Katie’s birthday gift to Tom, however, was a little too large to be presented to him on the island. “She gave him a custom-designed motorcycle.”

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, November 12, 2007]

So they went on a yacht, undoubtedly owned by the Scientology cult, to a Scientology island and had a dinner set out for them by workers at the Scientology headquarters.

Tom chose to spend his birthday being catered to by the cult he has a symbiotic relationship with, and Katie came along for the ride.

While celebrities like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley are given everything for free and treated like five star resort guests by Scientology, average people involved with the cult are forced to fork over their life savings, with many working as slave laborers in “reducation” camps for Sea Org.

Here are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at the 23rd Annual Museum Of The Moving Image Black Tie Salute Honoring Tom Cruise in NY last night. I wonder where they stayed and if that was comped by Scientology too. Thanks to PR Photos for these pictures.

I always knew Jerry Seinfeld was funny, but I had no clue he was that funny. The man behind the show about nothing actually says that Scientology made him a better comedian – and not because it’s all so ridiculous that it makes for good material. For once, Jerry is being pretty serious, and says that he took some Scientology courses on communication, and they helped him with his act. Once in a blue moon… someone will say something about Scientology and not mock them. I just didn’t think it be coming from a comedian.

Bee Movie star Jerry Seinfeld says that studying Scientology made him a better performer — and not because it gave him some good material. The 53-year-old comedian tells Parade magazine that a teacher in high school turned him onto the religion almost 30 years ago. “It was interesting. Believe it or not…it’s extremely intellectual and clinical in its approach to problem-solving, which really appealed to me.” Though Seinfeld has not continued with Scientology, he tells Parade that it helped him get his start in comedy. “In my early years of stand-up, it was very helpful. I took a couple of courses. One of them was in communication, and I learned some things about communication that really got my act going.”

Could the same be said for the rest of Scientology’s Hollywood devotees? The Church counts musician Beck, John Travolta, and of course, Tom Cruise, among its members. Seinfeld explains that as an entertainer, Scientology “really helped me onstage to understand how you have to invade the space of the audience a little bit…Not too much, because then it’s obnoxious. But you can’t be short of them either, or you won’t control them.” Another draw for Seinfeld — the gadgets. “They have a lot of very good technology,” he tells Parade. “That’s what really appealed to me about it. It’s not faith-based. It’s all technology. And I’m obsessed with technology.”

[From Us Magazine]

He has an interesting point, in that Scientology is the only religion I can think of that isn’t based just on faith, it’s based on technology. Notice that I said technology, not science. I would argue that it is still faith-based, as I don’t think there’s any technology that reaches Xenu – though I can’t swear to it.

Picture note by Jaybird: Speaking of great Scientology technology, here’s the Hubbard Electrometer, also known as the e-meter. According to Wikipedia: “An E-meter is an electronic device manufactured by the Church of Scientology at their Gold Base production facility. It is used as an aid by Dianetics and Scientology counselors and counselors-in-training in some forms of auditing, the application of the techniques of Dianetics and Scientology to another or to oneself for the express purpose of addressing spiritual issues. A 1971 ruling of the United States District Court, District of Columbia (333 F. Supp. 357), specifically stated, “The E-meter has no proven usefulness in the diagnosis, treatment or prevention of any disease, nor is it medically or scientifically capable of improving any bodily function.” Header image of Jerry doing some funny (mildly degrading in a good way) promotion for “Bee Movie.”

Update By Celebitchy: He’s just licking Tom Cruise’s ass. (That wording is deliberate, and I wanted to make it more explicit, but you get the point.) Scientology is a cult and a sham and you’re better off buying any dimestore psychology book from the last 50 years than taking a single one of their courses and becoming a target with a dollar sign on your head. If I didn’t hate the Seinfelds enough after Jessica ripped off that cookbook, they just gave me another reason.

Maybe some personal information about Seinfeld got “audited” and he doesn’t want it released by the Scientologists, they routinely blackmail people like that, or maybe he wants Tom Cruise to greenlight the movie project his wife comes up with once she’s exposed as a fraud and a plagiarist. Either way, he could have paid $50 to see a shrink for one session or picked up a Carl Rogers book and gained infinitely more personal insight. (Those references are deliberately dated because he said it was in the 70s.)

I wonder if the Scientology “organization” gave Jerry and Jessica access to one of their exclusive vacation resorts reserved for celebrities in exchange for this comment. They once planted an entire field of wheat using slave labor to help Tom Cruise woo Nicole Kidman.

It makes me sick that he would say this. Scientology is a cult that ruins lives. It should not have tax free status as a religion in the US and when celebrities make idiotic statements that imply that its benign and helpful they end up sucking in thousands more hapless victims.

Here is more information about how Scientology gets celebrity endorsements through commissions and luxurious vacations.

Remember the “suicide” death of that Tom Cruise photo extortioner who supposedly hung himself while he was on house arrest? Everyone was saying it looked like a Church of Scientology job, not that uh, we would ever suggest that. The National Enquirer has the details of how the guy was found, and it sounds even more suspicious.

The shower stall where he hung himself was too low for him to have done the job properly and he would have had to bring his knees up under him to hang himself. Who commits suicide like that? Wouldn’t someone chose a more effective method than squatting to die if they were serious about it?

David Hans Schmidt, 47, was found hanged in the shower of his Phoenix home on Sept. 28 - after police were alerted that the court-ordered house arrest monitor he was wearing had gone silent..

He was just days away from pleading guilty - and faced two years in prison - when he was found dead.

Police sergeant Any Hill told The Enquirer that they were treating the case as a suicide.

But a bizarre detail could cast a cloud over the investigation.

“Schmidt had been hanging for at least a day when he was found, revealed an insider.

“And the shower stall was so low that to achieve the drop needed to hang himself, he had to bring his knees up under him, like he was squatting.

“It was such an unusual situation that some people have discussed the possibility of foul play.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, October 15, 2007]

Now this is pure speculation, not that we’re above that or anything, but if Schmidt was about to plead guilty for the Tom Cruise extortion case is it possible that details about the pictures could have been leaked? Is it reasonable to think that some information may get out as part of his plea bargain and that someone might have feared that?

So far all we know about the Tom Cruise photos were that they were of his wedding, but how valuable would regular non-scandalous wedding photos be after the fact? No one wants to see wedding candids of celebrities months afterward unless there’s something going on that the celebrities wouldn’t want to get out.

Schmidt is said to have a lot of other “powerful enemies,” so it’s possible that even if it was foul play there were any number of people or shady cult organizations that could have been behind it. It sounds like the case is going to be considered a suicide despite the odd nature of how the man was hung, and we will probably only have our active imaginations to fill in the details of how he died and who was responsible.

Speaking of imaginations, if someone was killed and then hung like that to make it look like a suicide how would you do it? Would you smother them with a pillow so there aren’t marks and then hang them up with their knees under them so that it looks like they were asphyxiated that way? Did this guy even get an autopsy? It doesn’t sound like it.

Header image via The Bosh.

According to ex members, Scientology teaches its followers to go to any lengths to silence critics, including murder. There have been several instances of questionable suicides and deaths (link has automatic music) of active and ex cult members, most recently of a well to do artist couple in NY. Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan committed suicide within days of each other after telling friends of extensive harassment and stalking by Scientologists.

Now the guy who claimed to have “wedding” pictures of Tom Cruise, the most high profile Scientologist around, has “committed suicide.” He was on house arrest after trying to extort money from Cruise for the photos. If he was trying to get paid millions for them, you know they weren’t just happy non-incriminating snaps:

The man who agreed to plead guilty to a plot to extort more than $1 million from Tom Cruise for stolen photos taken at his 2006 wedding to Katie Holmes in Italy was found dead in his home, the AP is reporting.

David Hans Schmidt, 47, was under house arrest and faced up to two years in federal prison. Authorities say it appears that he had committed suicide.

Schmidt, known as the Sultan of Sleaze, was found dead in his Phoenix townhouse on Friday afternoon after police noticed that a tracker placed on him had not moved and he had not checked in with them.

[From US Weekly]

It’s possible this man’s suicide was legitimate, not that I’m uh, suggesting that it was anything else. Daily News columnist George Rush says he was depressed and talking about suicide:

George Rush, one half of gossip columnist duo Rush & Molloy, said that Schmidt, who was most recently in the news for attempting to extort money from Tom Cruise, called him two weeks ago and told him of another suicide attempt.

“I did something really stupid. I put a belt around my neck in the shower. Fortunately, it didn’t work,” said Schmidt over the phone.

Rush says he encouraged Schmidt to get help. “He was phoning me every other day. I said, ‘You’ve got to get yourself on some medication. He said he was on some, but it just didn’t work for very long.

[From TMZ.com]

I’m sure the Scientologists will say it was all the fault of the antidepressants he was on. I picture a bunch of guys in dark suits shrugging and trying to look innocent, then pointing fingers.

According to The National Enquirer, the suicide was suspicious:

The 47-year-old Schmidt was found in a shower stall at a North 21st street condominium in Phoenix, AZ. “He hung himself, and the shower stall was so small, he had to squat to get the job done,” a source familiar with the situation said.

[From NationalEnquirer.com]

David Miscavige, the head of Scientology, was at Cruise’s wedding and there was a weird picture that came out of Cruise posing in what looked like a throne with his son Connor and Miscavige by his side. I wonder if they did any rituals at that wedding and if someone had documentation.

Tom Cruise is laying out plans to build a huge underground bunker at his Telluride, Colorado estate. It will have a state of the art air purification system and will be large enough with enough equipment and supplies for at least ten people to survive for years. That’s not crazy or anything.

Devout Scientologist Tom Cruise plans to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, Colorado, mansion, a source tells Star! Equipped with a high tech air-purifying system, “it’s a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survice for years.” Apparently, Scientologists believe that the evil deposed galatic [sic] ruler Xenu is set to attack Earth, and they’ll need a safe place to survive.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 1, 2007]

According to the drug-fueled ramblings of Scientology’s founder, L Ron Hubbard, there was a big attack 75 million years ago in which this Xenu guy made billions of people line up by volcanoes and terminated them with hydrogen bombs. All of our problems stem from this one incident, claim Scientologists, and our memories and psychological problems are made up of the fractured souls of the people who were killed. We would all have god-like knowledge and ability if only we could free ourselves of the trauma of that event. This is something that Scientologists are brainwashed to believe they have achieved once they surrender enough time, money, common sense and free will. Only when they reach the highest level of the cult, or Operating Thetan 3, are Scientologists told the story about the volcano genocide, but thanks to the wonder of the Internet you get it for free.

I wasn’t able to dig up much about Scientology’s teachings on the end of the world, and maybe you can help shed some light onto this matter. According to Wikipedia, Xenu is supposedly trapped in an alternate universe forever, kind of like those three villains stuck under glass and floating in space in the Superman movie. He could come back though, and only the super rich deluded folks like Cruise and Travolta will be prepared.

Concern for the survival of one’s family in the event of a nuclear attack or massive world war is only natural, and maybe if I had a quarter of a billion dollars I would consider setting up a giant underground bunker too. I really doubt it though. The only preparations I made on December 31, 1999 were getting an outfit and having my nails done for a New Year’s party. Stockpiling water and supplies for the millennium just wasn’t high on my to-do list.

Maybe if Cruise could pop some lithium every day he wouldn’t be so worried about the end of the world. Along with providing ease of mind and more stable moods, it would be a hell of a lot cheaper, too. L Ron Hubbard must have realized that prescription medication would help his most devoted followers figure out what bullshit he was preaching, so he decided to make psychiatrists enemy number one. The guy was crazy like a fox.

In other Tom Cruise news, he has been given permission by the German government to film scenes for his Nazi hero movie Valkyrie at the Bendlerblock building, a World War II historic site. The German government was initially reluctant to grant permission to film there due to concern for the preservation of the site. A minute of silence was observed at the location this weekend before filming began.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are shown leaving an Italian restaurant in Berlin on Thursday. Thanks to WENN for these pictures. All details about Scientology from Operation Clambake and Wikipedia.

The new issue of Woman’s Day features a conservative-looking Nicole Kidman on the cover with the headline “I Lost My Kids To Scientology.” Inside the issue, the introductory teaser on the Woman’s Day website says that she talks about how upset she is to not see her children while they are indoctrinated into the cult. It doesn’t seem like she dishes much dirt on Scientology other than saying that her kids would rather spend time with their Scientology teachers in the states rather than visit her.

When I first read this story, I thought they had a new interview with her, but all they’re doing is rehashing her Vanity Fair interview and spinning to to make it seem like she’s dissing Scientology. They take a quote out of context from the VF interview and magnify it, making it the focus of the story.

They also claim she’s “threatening to reveal the darkest secrets of her marriage to ex-husband Tom Cruise,” but they seem to be referring to a cryptic comment she made in her Vanity Fair interview, in which she talked candidly about a miscarriage early in her relationship with Cruise and said that she might tell the whole story one day:

“From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies. And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that’s when it came that we would adopt Bella. There’s a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told.’

[From Vanity Fair, October, 2007 via I’m Not Obsessed]

In her Vanity Fair interview it seems the only thing she really criticizes Scientology for is the way it involves her kids so much that they don’t want to see her. She even says she’s doesn’t want to talk about it much. Women’s Day is making it out to be more than it is, and is misleading people into thinking that they have unique new quotes from Kidman that speak out against the cult when that’s not true at all:

Nicole Kidman has finally spoken of her anguish over her estrangement from her two Scientology-raised children and her feelings of failure as a mother. She is also threatening to reveal the darkest secrets of her marriage to ex-husband Tom Cruise.

With her adopted kids Isabella, 14, and Connor, 12, preferring to stay in the US with their Scientology minders rather than visit their own mother in Australia, Nicole has alluded to her antipathy towards the controversial religion.

“I don’t want to be the one discussing Scientology,” a wounded Nicole warily told US magazine Vanity Fair when asked about her children’s indoctrination during her latest interview. “My kids want to live in LA and they’re at a certain age where they dig in their heels.”

While Isabella and Connor briefly visited their mum in Australia earlier this year, they have chosen to spend their holidays at a Church of Scientology camp in Oregon.

A former Scientologist says the camp in Portland, where the kids are holed up, is really an intense learning program for Scientology teachings. “The summer camp is part of Scientology’s get-them-while-they’re-young campaign,” says the ex-member…

[Womansday.ninemsn.com via Gossip Rocks]

The quote about the Scientology camp is lifted straight from an article in Star Magazine from September 3, in which it was revealed that Nicole’s children were away at brainwash camp.

I wonder if Kidman has grounds to sue the pants out of Women’s Day for taking her quotes out of context and making it seem like she’s finally talking about Scientology’s negative effect on her family. Her quotes were pretty mild and non-committal.

Nicole Kidman has never really talked much about Scientology except to say that she considers herself Catholic. In 1999, before her split with Tom Cruise, she described herself as “a mishmash of religions… a little Buddhism, a little Scientology.” She left no doubt that her allegiance was not to Scientology, saying “I was raised Catholic and a big part of me is still a Catholic girl.” [Quote found at Catholic.org]

A conflict over Kidman’s commitment to the Scientology cult is said to have hastened the end of her marriage to Cruise.

Scientology is known for threatening, harassing, suing and blackmailing ex-members from speaking out against the cult. A recent suspicious double suicide of a well to do artist couple in NY was said to be influenced in no small part by their well-founded paranoia of Scientology. They spoke at length of the harassment and hounding they claimed to endure from cult members for years.

Kidman has a healthy fear of speaking out out against the cult and she’s got to be scared now that Woman’s Day is twisting her words like this just to sell copies.