Kirstie Alley is featured on the cover of The National Enquirer this week in a story that claims she has only four years to live. Hidden in small font under the headline are the words “expert predicts,” and if you read the article it’s just a calculation of her life expectancy based on her current weight. The Enquirer had a similar “celebrity could be dying” cover story with Oprah in May in which they claimed she had just three years to live. The little words “expert predicts” were written on that cover, too.

Alley is predictably outraged about this, and claims that the cover upset her 85 year-old father. She is urging her followers on Twitter to harass an employee at the National Enquirer, who I won’t name here. Regardless Alley seems to think this woman had a hand in the story despite the fact that she’s not listed as an author at all. Alley’s tweets on the matter are ominous and she practically threatens the woman, calling her “fair game” and saying she’ll expose her photos and secrets. Alley lists the Enquirer employee’s contact information, including her e-mail and phone number, and asks people to contact her. The term “Fair Game” is used by Alley’s cult, Scientology, and refers to the practice of revealing damaging information about detractors and harassing them relentlessly until they back down.

THat’s [name redacted] [phone number redacted]. [email address redacted]..show S SOME LOVE..tell her my DADDY sent you..More news on S to follow
about 23 hours ago from web

Please call Ms. [name redacted].Your natural instinct will be to be kind.Pretend your father just called you panicked that you were dying.Bang Bang
about 23 hours ago from web

@mladenstanisic SHe IS famous isn’t she? Now she really IS a public figure. Fair Game for Public photos and speech. Same terms as Me..lol
about 23 hours ago from web in reply to mladenstanisic

S[name redacted] …watch your back honey..two can play at the INFO and picture game and YOU are a public figure now too, girly girl..click click
10:07 AM Aug 16th from web

nasty writers dirty little secrets..and I will be happy to EXPOSE them right here on twitter. Nasty Writers beware of the truth..
10:04 AM Aug 16th from web

It also is never the answer to harm their loved ones when they are not even the target. I am NO DOVE,but I won’t hesitate to EXPOSE these
10:02 AM Aug 16th from web

IIT PROVOKES me to do the same thing to them and their families as I CAN GET THEIR PRIVATE DATA. But my religion teaches ignore and flourish
10:00 AM Aug 16th from web

to buy this sh*t. It wreaks havoc on families and friends,just like any other bullying except it is on a world wide scale.Oo Daddy,look away
9:58 AM Aug 16th from web

I am sharing this with you because it truly is the highest form of insidious evil bullying that exists.What you CAN do about it, is refuse
9:57 AM Aug 16th from web

I don’t care for myself..If it wasn’t weight it’s been some other lies for 28 years..but it breaks my heart when my Dad worries about it..
9:56 AM Aug 16th from web

I DESPISE THE F*CKING NATIONAL ENQUIRER!!!! My 85 year old amazing father just called to ask me if “I AM DYING” Bless his heart..EVIL F*CKS
9:48 AM Aug 16th from web

[From Kirstie Alley's Twitter, names, contact information and swear words redacted]

I get that this cover upsets Alley, it would make anyone mad, but the best way to handle would be to simply dismiss it and/or explain that it’s a ruse to sell tabloids. The news cycle is fast, and if you handle something like this with grace it will go away much quicker. Instead, Alley is attacking someone personally. That says more about her “religion” and personal ethics than any of her assurances to the contrary.

I contacted renowned Scientology expert Dr. Dave Touretzky from Carnegie Mellon University to ask his opinion on Alley’s use of “fair game” and harassing tactics. He thinks that it’s not related to her involvement in the cult and could be an innocent, natural response to a tabloid story that attacks her:

1. “Fair game” is a common English idiom; it’s not unique to Scientology, like certain other terms are.

2. Alley was never on staff in Scientology, much less in the Sea Org.
She has only been a “public” Scientologist, i.e., a parishioner.
Scientology tends to hide the internal ugliness from its public members.
She may not even be aware of the Scientology “fair game” policy.

3. Alley was twittering to a large audience. She has not been one to use Scientology jargon when talking to the general public. Why would she start now?

While Alley’s threat to expose writers’ “dirty little secrets” does have a Scientological ring to it, this is also what the Enquirer does to celebrities, so Alley is really just saying that turnabout is fair play.

Botom line: I think her usage of “fair game” was innocent, and you can quote me on that.

[From Dr. Dave Touretzky, received via e-mail]

What do you think, is Alley engaging in Scientology smear tactics, is she fighting back against a mean tabloid that personally hurt her, or is it a little of both? Would you go after someone if a story came out in the national press that you were dying, or would you laugh it off and say it isn’t true?

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith have insisted that their new private school, The New Village Academy, is not a Scientology school despite the fact that it uses some of Scientology’s unproven educational methods and textbooks, including “Study Tech,” a system developed by the cult’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard. Five out of seventeen of the teachers at the school are known Scientologists, and the language on the school’s website, including it’s motto “Spiral Up,” borrow heavily from the Scientology lexicon. Smith has consistently said that it’s not a Scientology school and has even spoken to protesters from the group Anonymous, many of whom were impressed by how approachable and earnest he seemed. According to Smith he’s just using a variety of educational methods and seeing what works. “You can take different parts of things you like and put them all together,” he explained.

Radar Online has an exclusive that Jada recently fired the head of the school, experienced educational administrator Jacqueline Olivier, primarily because she disagreed with the use of Scientology’s Study Tech. Study Tech has never been independently verified as effective, and many educational experts say that it teaches the basic tenets of the cult to unsuspecting children, and is essentially religious education in disguise. Olivier’s replacement, Piano Foster, has unsurprisingly taken Scientology courses and is not likely to question the use of Study Tech:

Jacqueline Olivier – the woman the famous husband and wife enlisted to set up their Calabasas campus – was axed from her $200,000 a year position via a telephone call from the Matrix actress.

“Jada phoned Jaqueline and told her that they had ‘decided to go in another direction’ with the school,” an insider told RadarOnline.com. “As head of the campus her position was becoming untenable as she did not agree with Study Tech and felt uncomfortable with it.” Olivier “thrashed-out” a severance package with the couple and “it’s understood that she signed a confidentiality agreement with regard to her time at the school.”

Calls to Olivier were not immediately returned but it is understood that she has taken-up another position within the educational recruitment field.

The school head and the superstar couple were said to have clashed about the school’s mysterious Study Tech curriculum which was devised by Scientologist founder Ron L. Hubbard. While the school’s official website simply reads “Coming Soon!” under Head of School, RadarOnline.com has learned that Piano Foster is the new woman tapped for the role.

“They have appointed somebody else who is more ‘in-line’ with their thinking as to how the school should be run,” the source added.

When contacted by RadarOnline.com, Foster confirmed: “I officially took over on July 1, 2009, and I’m looking forward to the challenge. I’ve been working in education for the past 20 years at various public and charter schools so I feel I’m ready for the job.”

Foster remained tight-lipped when asked about her famous employers or any other controversies surrounding her school.

When The New Village Leadership Academy opened last September it attracted several demonstrators who protested outside the main gates that it was a front for Scientology teachings. Will and Jada had previously been home-schooling their two children Willow, 7, and Jaden, 9, at their nearby $20 million Calabasas mansion. The couple signed a deal to lease the campus for $889,000 for a three year period while re-naming it and picking up all other additional costs. Both their kids attend the school whose motto is Spiral Up! – tuition ranges from $7, 500 to $12,500 for pupils from pre-kindergarten through grade 6.

[From Radar Online]

People have the freedom to teach their children any religion they please and to follow any educational method they deem appropriate. Educators and schools have an obligation to be transparent when it comes to other people’s children, and to let parents know if they follow a religious curriculum. There are sure to be parents who send their kids to this school thinking that it’s a secular school endorsed by Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, a couple who has so far avoided controversy mainly because they deny having a connection to the “church” of Scientology. Now that they’ve fired the head of their school for disagreeing with those teachings and have replaced her with a Scientologist, I guess we know how central Scientology is to their school’s curriculum.

[Thanks to Greg for the tip.]

Will, Jada and their children Willow and Jaden are shown at the premiere of The Day The Earth Stood Still on 12/9/08. Credit: PRPhotos

Cue dramatic music – John Travolta’s rep says that he’s a member of the “church” of Scientology – forever. The Daily Mail ran a piece over the weekend claiming that Travolta, 55, has been questioning his involvement in Scientology following the death of his son Jett, 16, earlier this year. Jett suffered from what his parents said was Kawasaki syndrome, and there were reports that he had autism, a disorder that Scientology refuses to recognize. Jett died after suffering a seizure and hitting his head in a bathroom at his parents’ estate in the Bahamas. Many people wondered if Jett would have lived had he been properly treated with psychiatric medication. The Travoltas claimed that Jett was on anti-convulsant medication for years, but that it stopped working and that they consulted with neurologists, who recommended that he be taken off the drug. Jett’s family has surely been haunted by the question of whether they could have somehow prevented his death. You would expect that to include questioning the edicts of their cult, which stipulates that members never consult psychiatrists or take psychiatric medication. The Daily Mail could have been guessing, but there may have been an element of truth to their story, which stated that “his son’s sudden death has ‘deeply shaken’ Travolta’s faith in the strange sect, which makes wild claims about its ability to cure a variety of physical and mental disorders.”

That’s not true, according to Travolta, who has asserted through his rep that he will always be a Scientologist:

A July 25 report in Britain’s Daily Mail newspaper claiming that Travolta, 55, had grown disenchanted with his longtime religion in the wake of his son Jett’s death in January is “totally false,” his rep Paul Bloch tells PEOPLE.

“There’s no change in the relationship between the Church of Scientology and John,” says Bloch. “He is a member and it’s as it was, now and forever.”

The still-grieving actor, his wife Kelly Preston, 46, and their daughter Ella Bleu, 9, recently returned to one of their favorite spots: their oceanfront island home in Isleboro, Maine, where the family spent their last Christmas with Jett in 2008. On July 18 Travolta and Preston exchanged greetings with locals at the island’s Dark Harbor gift shop. “He’s pretty low-key,” says one local. “He pretty much stays to himself when he comes.”

The getaway was a break for Preston, who has been filming The Last Song – a coming-of-age film in which she plays the mother of Miley Cyrus’s character – in Savannah, Ga., this summer. The actress’s maternal instincts have made an impression on Cyrus, 16, who on July 10 posted a photo of the two on the set with the caption, “Loving on Mama Kelly!”

[From People]

I don’t believe much in The Daily Mail, which regularly makes up stories about celebrities when they’re not pointing out knobby knees and small amounts of cellulite. If the story was true, though, it’s not like Travolta is going to admit that he has problems with his cult. Scientology surely has some deep dark dirt on him. One of the key ways that cults control their members is by eliciting confessions so that they have something to hold against them if they threaten to leave and/or expose the cult. Scientology does this through the “auditing” process, which occurs early on in a person’s involvement and serves to help indoctrinate and brainwash them.

You would expect Travolta and Preston to be distancing themselves from Scientology behind the scenes and wondering if conventional medication could have prevented their son’s death. Scientology teaches that mental illness is not real and that their hack treatments can solve any problem. When the Scientology treatments inevitably fail, it doesn’t matter because in their eyes the person was defective anyway. No one wants to believe that about a child they lost. It’s human to wonder if things could have turned out differently and if your loved one could have lived. Travolta will never know, and that’s got to be eating away at him – and his faith.

John Travolta is shown at the Bolt premiere on 11/17/09. Credit: WENN.com

Despite some rumors that Madonna was going to give her new daughter Mercy time to adjust /a> to the upheavals and trauma of moving in with a new family, Madonna seems back on her self-absorbed track. According to The Sun’s sources, Madonna is planning on taking Mercy with her for three months of her Sticky & Sweet tour, then they will fly to Jerusalem so Madge can introduce her daughter to Kabbalah. Because that’s how it works in Madge’s mind – her celebrity-cult version of Kabbalah is exactly the same as the Kabbalah practiced by Jewish scholars and mystics in Israel, and exposing Mercy to the Wailing Wall will somehow link up (in little Mercy’s mind) to mommy’s Kabbalah center in New York.

[From The Sun]

That Sun link has pictures of Mercy taken over the weekend, as dozens of people came traipsing in and out of Madge’s London home. Mercy looks totally scared and bewildered, and perhaps Mercy’s adjustment period should be without all of Madonna’s sycophantic friends and without any cults. Just for now. Let Mercy get her bearings, then overwhelm her with all of the people and the red strings.

Madonna is shown in London on 6/19/09. Credit: Bauergriffinonline

Back in April, popular Fox News entertainment columnist Roger Friedman was canned after he enthused in his daily entertainment column, Fox411, about how easy it was to download an as-yet-unreleased pirated unfinished copy of Wolverine. While positively reviewing Wolverine, Friedman also mentioned how quick and simple it was to view streaming media online, and it sounded like he was genuinely surprised by this discovery. Fox News is owned by News Corp, which is also the parent company for 20th Century Fox, which put out Wolverine. The head honchos were not amused by Friedman recommending illegal piracy, and removed what would be his final column. They also issued a statement saying “this behavior [illegal downloading] is reprehensible and we condemn this act categorically — whether the review is good or bad.”

Fast forward a couple months later and Friedman is suing Fox for illegal termination. He claims that his firing has more to do with his negative statements about the powerful Scientology cult than his public advocacy of piracy. Apparently the cult’s spokesperson had a meeting with Fox News’ top executives to ask that Friedman he be let go after he wrote in his column last year that Preston was fake crying at Isaac Hayes’ funeral. Friedman insinuated that Preston was overdramatic at the funeral of the late soul singer because she was hoping for a fat check for Scientology, not because she particularly mourned his lost. At the time, Fox refused to fire Friedman. He claims they eventually broke down and fired him and that it had more to do with the cult’s objections than anything else:

Fox News bowed to pressure from Kelly Preston, Tom Cruise and other members of the Church of Scientology when it fired columnist Roger Friedman, the entertainment journo is expected to charge in a wrongful termination lawsuit this week.

In April, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. announced it had “terminated” Friedman after he wrote on FoxNews.com about watching a pirated Internet copy of 20th Century Fox’s “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.”
Friedman is convinced that was a cover story. Last August, Friedman went to Memphis for the funeral of his friend and R&B legend Isaac Hayes, who was a Scientologist. Preston was also in town for the funeral. Friedman, who now writes for The Hollywood Reporter, tells us that when Preston saw him at the Peabody Hotel, Mrs. John Travolta loudly blasted him for his columns criticizing Scientology.

“She called me a ‘religious bigot,’  ” Friedman recalls. The following month, says an ally of Friedman, Preston voiced her complaints about Friedman to Fox News chief Roger Ailes and his then-EVP, John Moody.
“Moody talked to her on the phone,” says the source. “When she couldn’t get Moody to fire Friedman, she called him a [obscenity].”

Ailes and Moody later agreed to meet with Preston and Church of Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis (the son of actress Anne Archer), according to the source, who says Friedman’s editors subsequently forbid him from writing about the death in January of Preston’s son, Jett.

Meanwhile, Friedman says, 20th Century Fox chairman Jim Gianopoulos had been encouraging him to lay off Cruise’s movie “Valkyrie,” which Fox was distributing internationally.

Last month, Variety reported that Cruise was in advanced talks to star with Cameron Diaz in a Fox action comedy, “Wichita.” A source suspects that Cruise may have made Friedman’s ouster a condition of the actor appearing in “Wichita.  ”

After the studio accused Friedman of “promoting” piracy with his positive “Wolverine” review, “nobody from Fox News defended me,” says Friedman. “They let the studio dictate to the newsroom.”

Friedman’s attorney, Martin Garbus, says: “It’s outrageous that Rupert Murdoch made a decision to fire Roger after four of Roger’s editors and superiors reviewed his column and found it very good. In falsely claiming Roger engaged in piracy, they attempted to destroy the reputation of a fine journalist.” Friedman’s “411” column is said to have attracted 50 million hits a year.

Murdoch is reported to have bristled a few years back when Scientologists tried to recruit his son Lachlan. But Garbus said, “I’ve seen how Scientology intimidates even the most powerful media. That seems to be what happened here.”

According to Garbus, the leak of “Wolverine” onto the Web traced back to Murdoch asking the studio to make him a DVD copy of the unfinished movie. “Apparently, someone made another copy for themselves,” says Garbus.

Garbus crows that the suit, due to be filed in Manhattan Federal Court, is a “slam dunk.”
A Fox News rep declined to comment. Cruise’s attorney said it was “utterly false” that the actor sought Friedman’s removal. Preston’s lawyer, Martin Singer called Friedman’s claim “absurd and ridiculous. He was terminated just days after [his ‘Wolverine’ column]. It is outrageous to try to blame my client… on the basis of something that supposedly took place eight months earlier.”

[From NY Daily News]

While I can accept that Fox News probably put Friedman on a short list to be let go after the Scientologists complained, he really blew it when he talked piracy. That’s crossing a line regardless of the media holdings of the company that employed him. It was a huge strike against him and you can see why he would be fired for it. That said, if this case proceeds we could learn some more juicy details about how the Scientologists try to pressure the news organizations to only cover positive stories about them.

Photo is from a Scientology protest in London on 5/10/08. Credit: WENN.com

Tom and Katie on 3/12/09 at the Japan premiere of Valkyrie. Credit: WENN.com
Take this report for what it is, a rumor from the British tabloids. Daily Mail gossip columnist Katie Nichols is reporting that when Katie Holmes goes to work on that creepy thriller in Australia this summer, her husband Tom Cruise will be joining her for moral support – and to further the cause of Scientology in Australia. Apparently, the Church of Scientology hasn’t gained any kind of foothold down under, and Tom is going to spend several months recruiting and trying to “dispel the myths that Scientology is a cult” according to an unnamed source.

This sounds a lot like what happened when Tom was filming Valkyrie in Germany. The German government (and many Germans) consider Scientology to be a cult, and Tom is considered Scientology’s “face”. During the film shoot, Tom’s presence in Berlin seemed to cause major grief for all involved, despite his meetings with German leaders, where he attempted to convince government officials that The CoS is a legitimate religion rather than a cult engaged in racketeering that doesn’t deserve tax-free status. Now it seems Tom will have to bring his charm offensive to Australia:

Tom Cruise will launch a recruitment drive for his Scientology church in Australia.

His charm offensive will begin when he relocates to Melbourne for four months while his wife, Katie Holmes, begins work on her latest film, Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark.

‘Tom knows that he will have his work cut out as the church attracts protesters,’ says my source.

‘But he hopes his presence will help change minds and dispel the myths that Scientology is a cult.’

The state of Victoria outlawed Scientology for six years in the Sixties after it was branded ‘evil’ by a local lawyer.

Katie will begin shooting in August amid tight security. Sources say the cast will have to sign 20-page confidentiality agreements and the couple want to recruit a large ‘entourage’.

[From The Daily Mail]

Surprising that Scientology didn’t get a bigger boost in Australia when Tom was with Nicole Kidman. Oops, did I just stumble upon one of the reasons for their divorce? Perhaps Nicole was audited one too many times, and she talked! That must be why CoS didn’t take in Australia.

A bit off-topic, but I finally watched Valkyrie this weekend with my dad. My father commented during one of the critical scenes that “Hitler needed to be audited” which still has me giggling. I actually thought the film was really good, and Tom was great in it. Of course, he was helped by a stellar cast, including Bill Nighy, Eddie Izzard and Tom Wilkinson. Still, it’s a shame that movie wasn’t discusses more as one of Tom’s better performances. All because people think he’s so loopy with the Scientology stuff. Tsk, tsk.

Brazilian model Jesus Luz, 22, may have caught the interest of pop star Madonna, 50, for somewhat less superficial reasons than we all assumed. Luz bears a close resemblance to Madonna’s ex, Carlos Leon, and he also shares her interest in the mystical Jewish-based cult Kabbalah. According to the NY Post, Luz was studying Kabbalah at the insistence of his then-girlfriend at least six months before he met Madonna. It looks like his ex-girlfriend did all the heavy lifting and Madonna swooped in for the already-converted prize:

She’s always liked them hot, young and Latin, but Madonna’s latest boy toy has another special charm — he was a Kabbalist before they even met.

Jesus Luz, 22, immersed himself in the religion while he was still a struggling model in Rio de Janeiro. Since the late 1990s, Madonna has been an avid follower of the movement, which stems from Jewish mysticism and equates God to a ray of light.

“Madonna must have thought she met God when she found Jesus,” said a Kabbalah devotee in New York, noting that “Jesus Luz” translates from Portuguese as “Jesus Light.”

Leonardo Reis, manager of the Kabbalah Center in Rio, helped Luz with his studies starting in July 2008, six months before Jesus met Madonna.

“All I can say to you is that Madonna is really, really happy with Jesus,” Reis said. “When she found out he was into Kabbalah, they really started to hit it off.”

Reis organized a special Shabbat dinner for the couple and their friends after they met at a Rio photo shoot last December. The dinner, complete with lit candles and guests clothed in white, was held at sunset in Madonna’s luxe suite at the Copacabana Palace Hotel with its stunning views of the Atlantic.

Spirituality has always been a part of Luz’s life. His mother, Cristiane Regina da Silva, 37, is a member of the “Evangelicals,” a growing Protestant cult movement in Brazil. His father, an administrator at a public hospital in the Rio suburbs, says he decided to name his son Jesus because he admired the philosophy of Christ.

[From The NY Post]

I was really hoping this relationship was a mutual publicity stunt as it’s just too creepy to imagine Madonna with a kid 28 years her junior. It’s also skeevy when an older man snares a much-younger woman, but there’s something about Madonna that makes her seem so predatory. Model Jesus is probably thrilled to be along for the ride. He’s said to command six figures and up for fashion show appearances and just shot ads for Dolce & Gabbana. In comparison, he made just $100 for the two day shoot for W Magazine through which he met the pop star.

Last week there was a story that Jesus’ father claimed that Madonna and his son would marry in some kind of legally non-binding Kabbalah commitment ceremony. Madonna’s people denied that anything was in the works, but they also denied her first adoption of David Banda up until it was complete. I wonder how Madonna’s bid to adopt Mercy is going. Do you think she’ll send some support to Mercy’s family now that she can’t take her home?

There are all sorts of reports that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are sending Suri to “Scientology school.” If the stories are true, it’s hard to verify if Suri will be going to a Scientology School or not. Cruise and Holmes are said to be sending Suri to Will and Jada Pinkett Smith’s New Village Academy. The New Village Academy uses Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s “study tech”, has language on their website that is loaded with Scientology terms and does have teachers who are known Scientologists. Smith denies that it’s primarily a Scientology school, however, and says the private pre-K to Grade 6 Calabasas, CA school offers a secular education based on a mix of different educational philosophies. Suri may be going to a Scientology school if she’s being enrolled in the New Village Academy, but the school doesn’t admit that it’s primarily run by the cult. It also is hopefully not ridden with the same problems as older established Scientology schools that have been accused of all sorts of abuses and neglect by former students.

This week’s Star Magazine has another report that reminds us that Tom and Katie are the most famous representatives of Scientology. Star claims that the couple is attending Scientology marriage counseling after reaching a crisis in their relationship. This report seems to be based on known information on the cult along with the fact that Katie visited the Scientology center recently. It’s doubtful Star has any insider information about the nature of their supposed counseling sessions:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been fighting… over everything from having another baby to where to live! Things have turned so sour that they’ve resorted to couples counseling in a last-ditch bid to work on their longtime relationship issues, insiders tell Star But they’re not seeing just any specialist. The Hollywood power duo has turned to their fellow Scientologists for help.

“Scientologists often step in where there are problems in a marriage,” a source tells Star. “They teach followers certain communications skills that are supposed to increase problem-solving potential…”

Sources say Scientology counselors have been focusing on Katie, 30, because she’s relatively new to the religion, while Tom is an Operating Thetan, the highest rank. On March 31, Katie again met with a counselor, this time without Tom, at a Scientology house in Silver Lake, Calif. “They will come down on Katie if she is doing anything to upset Tom, because she is outranked by him,” says former Scientologist Skip Press…

But it’s beginning to dawn on Katie that the counselors might be biased toward her husband, says an insider. “She told Tom she wants to stop going because she doesn’t feel the Scientology method is effective counseling, but Tom told her to give it another two months and then they’ll discuss it again.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, April 20, 2009]

I love that pseudonym, “Skip Press,” and it adds credence to this story because it makes it seem like Star has a real ex-Scientologist source who doesn’t want his name used. It’s possible that Katie is getting some kind of counseling at the Scientology center and going through her training at the same time. The house in Silver Lake is said to be a dance studio, though, not a Scientology house. Whatever she’s doing, it looks to be taking some kind of toll on her as she has been looking worn out and tired lately. You don’t have to be brainwashed to look washed out, though. Other reports that we recently covered have Katie ready for another baby so it’s hard to tell what to believe.

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise are shown on 4/9/09 outside a dance studio. Katie is also shown on 4/7/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

So Madonna has pretty much dumped steroid-pumping Alex Rodriguez for 22-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz. Madge has made a handful of semi-public appearances with the drop-dead gorgeous model, whom she met at a photo-shoot for W Magazine. A-Rod is said to be so distraught he turned to the wife he spurned for Madonna and had a fling in the Bahamas with two women who were making out in front of him at a bar.

Now there’s further evidence that Madonna and Jesus Luz are for real. Jesus is pulling the same Kabbalah-conversion stuff that Guy Ritchie and A-Rod were forced to go through to get into the Madge Vadge Motel. Jesus Luz confirmed on his website that he’s joined the religion (or “religion”), spurning the Catholicism he was raised with. But how, you may ask, will he be able to afford the $50 Kabbalah water? Perhaps Madge is picking up the tab for her new lover. The Daily Mirror has more:

Jesus comforted Madonna in her hour of need… and now she’s made him rethink his entire faith.

In a miraculous about-turn, Brazilian model Jesus Luz has switched to Madge’s mysterious Kabbalah faith – despite being a strict Catholic. So smitten with the Material Girl is the 22-year-old hunk, he’s joined an online community for Kabbalah believers.

Jesus – recently seen cavorting semi-naked with Madge in a W magazine spread – has updated his website, informing “friends” about the move. Says our source: “Jesus’s family are very traditional and quite religious so this news is sure to come as something of a shock.

“But Jesus is totally taken with Madonna and is slightly in awe of her. Quite simply he can’t get enough, and finds her utterly compelling and bewitching.”

“The pair have spent a lot of time together in recent weeks and Madonna’s chatted quite freely about her personal beliefs – especially Kabbalah.” Madge has obviously made quite an impression on the boy from Brazil. He has taken a real interest in it and started making a few online enquiries into the faith,” our source goes on.

“He has joined an online Kabbalah group and is keen to become an active member. Madonna has also offered to take him to the Kabbalah centre in New York and he is exceedingly keen to take her up on that.”

Since splitting with Guy Ritchie last year, Madge has been linked to baseball star A-Rod and now Jesus who, at 22, is 28 years her junior. Jesus’s newfound spiritual interest will raise a few eyebrows back in his native homeland – Kabbalah is not big in Brazil. But Jesus claims not to worry about that.

In his online profile, Jesus writes: “It is not important what others think about us. The most important thing is to have a clear conscience, even if I am condemned. We can not forget that Jesus was condemned.”

From The Daily Mirror

Oh, sweet Jesus. Can you still have a martyr complex when you’re a Kabbalah-following douche named Jesus? I do feel bad for the kid – and truly, he is a kid. Madonna knew exactly what she was doing when she sunk her claws into this hottie. At this point, he probably doesn’t even know which end is up.

I’m giving some begrudging respect to Madonna, though. I have absolutely no idea how she got A-Rod to so publicly humiliate himself and his wife all to have a little time in the Madge Vadge Motel. I have no idea what a 22-year-old hottie would see in The Gristle, except for maybe a naive belief that it might be cool for a little while. What hidden talents does this woman have? How can I get them?

Madonna and Jesus are shown out together in NY on 2/1/09. Credit: SplashNews

Bijou Phillips wants you to just get over your depression. And your sadness. And your anxiety. Just tell it to go away, push it out, dance it out, whatever. But don’t you dare act like you’re depressed, or like you just might need the help of a psychiatrist or some medication. In fact, her educated advice is to just, “get over it.” Thanks doctor. Bijou is a Scientologist, which means she doesn’t believe in psychiatrists or psychiatric medication. In fact they don’t just “not believe” in it, they’ve waged an all-out war on the evils of psychiatry. Unfortunately for her, it sounds like Bijou could use a little of it herself.

Scientologist model Bijou Phillips went off on a tangent about the dangers of psychiatrists medicating depression during a recent interview with Paper Magazine.

“My grandparents didn’t take any pills, and they were fine,” Phillips said in the February issue of Paper. “Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a f—king pansy.”

The budding actress frequents Scientology-sponsored events and spoke out against psychiatry and prescribing patients with medication for such mental illnesses as depression or anxiety.

Phillips, 28, lived alone in New York City after legally emancipating herself from her parents — her father, John Phillips, was in the Mamas and the Papas — when she was 14 years old. After several years on her own, she went to rehab.

[Us Magazine via Deceiver]

Bijou was going off in the Paper magazine article, which was an interview with her and equally Scientologist-y (a word I just made up) longterm boyfriend Danny Masterson. Phillips is not necessarily a model of mental health herself. Filmmaker James Toback had a few interesting things to say about the model/actress, who sounds like she’s all kinds of crazy. Luckily for him, Toback seems to have enjoyed her loose mental health. He called her a “genuine psychopath,” and said she didn’t understand the line between thinking and saying things.

Bijou Phillips — you never knew what the f%@% she would say or do next. There is no line between her unconscious and her articulation of it and her behavior. She is a genuine psychopath. I say that with affection and admiration, because she’s also incredibly smart and talented, so she knows how to amuse and how to get and hold attention. If she were just a psychopath, you wouldn’t want to use her; you’d just be bored. But she is always kind of amusing and interesting, and if one thing isn’t working she has a good sense of it, and she just starts on something else.

[From Salon.com]

I really get annoyed with anyone who tells someone else how they should deal with their emotions. Especially in Phillips’ case, when she’s essentially saying that she has a better way of dealing with things than everyone else. It shows how limited her understanding of complex emotions really is. Perhaps she was able to just get over things, but maybe that means things just don’t affect her as deeply as they do others. Perhaps the answer is empathy instead of cold judgment.

Here’s Bijou with boyfriend Danny Masterson at the “Choke” New York screening on September 24th. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.