Stylish Celebrity Escapism
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Sep 5
'06
Suri Cruise photos to be published tomorrow


Photos of a baby that’s proportedly Suri Cruise will be published in Vanity Fair tomorrow. Tom and Katie supposedly had the pictures taken by famous photographer Annie Liebowitz soon after “little” Suri’s birth, so her current age is impossible to tell. Speculation is rampant that Katie was already pregnant when she hooked up with Cruise, which would explain the suspect birth certificate, the couples’ unwillingness to take the baby out in public, and the odd size variations in Katie’s pregnant belly. Cruise has no other biological children, and is said to be sterile.

Katie was photographed looking tired and dazed outside of an LA spa, where she was treated to a much-needed massage.

The exclusive photos reportedly show baby Suri nestled against Tom’s neck as he sleeps. Another is said to show Suri sleeping on the couple’s bed, with Katie grinning at the camera.

That picture is a far cry from one taken of Ms Holmes this week, showing her looking bleary-eyed and frazzled.

Bags under her eyes and looking dazed, even Hollywood superstars cannot avoid the harsh realities of first time motherhood.

So as Katie Holmes made her way to a Los Angeles hotel for a relaxing, full-body massage, she looked to have the weight of the world on her hunched shoulders.

Struggling out of a chauffeur-driven car, and into the exclusive Beverly Hills Hotel, the stress of the past five months was evident for all to see.

Despite doing her utmost to hide her bleary-eyed face behind an oversize designer handbag, the 27-year-old actress, who gave birth to her daughter Suri in April, could not avoid the harsh glare of the photographers’ flashbulbs.

Wearing a pale pink shirt and her hair worn long, she plodded wearily into the hotel’s luxury spa suite for a £120 massage and facial.

Katie and Tom are said to have insisted on perfect pictures of their newborn. The photoshoot took place over 21 days and required lots of retouching. Suri was rumored to be a “runt” at the time, but in all likelihood she’s much bigger than she should be for a four and a half month-old.

In the only pictures seen of Suri so far, taken via helicopter outside the Cruise compound, Suri looks much bigger than a four month-old baby.

Posted in Babies, Cults, Katie Holmes, Magazines, Photos, Scandals, Tom Cruise, TomKat

Written by Celebitchy         4 Comments »
Sep 3
'06
Tom Cruise apologized to Brooke Shields (update: video)


There’s a lot you can say about Tom Cruise, but he does seem like a geniunely nice guy, albeit completely batshit crazy and often lying through his teeth. He has wacked out beliefs and is so deep in the closet there are hanger marks on his face (I stole that from commetor Clarimonde on a Robbie Williams post), but people praise his down-to-earth demeanor as he engages them on a level only a cult member can manage. It’s called “love bombing” and is a common tactic of cults to get people to feel so accepted and warmly welcomed that they’re sucked into the black hole of endless re-education and seizure of all their worldly assets.

Cruise is pretty good at that “love bombing” and he turned on the charm on behalf of his flailing career to apologize to Brooke Shields for criticizing her last year for using antidepressants:

“He came over to my house, and he gave me a heartfelt apology,” Shields said Friday during an appearance on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”"And he apologized for bringing me into the whole thing and for everything that happened.

“And through it all, I was so impressed with how heartfelt it was. And I didn’t feel at any time that I had to defend myself, nor did I feel that he was trying to convince me of anything other than the fact that he was deeply sorry. And I accepted it.”

Cruise’s spokesman confirmed the celebrities made up.

“It is true that his friendship with Ms. Shields has been mended,” spokesman Arnold Robinson said in a statement. “He has not changed his position about antidepressants, which as evidenced by the black label warnings issued by the FDA on these types of drugs, are unhealthy.”

How coincidental that Cruise apologized to Shields right after he was dropped from Paramount for his “recent conduct.” While less than amazing box-office performance is more likely to blame, it is said that the wife of Paramount head Sumner Redstone was completely enraged by Cruise’s comments blasting Shields for using drugs to overcome postpartum depression and told her husband that Cruise would lose his female fan base.

In case you forgot what Cruise said at the time, he made an impassioned argument on The Today Show that there was “no such thing as a chemical imbalance,” and that he knew the history of drug development and psychiatry while asserting that Matt Lauer was uninformed for defending the fact that antidepressants work.

Update: here’s the video of Brooke telling the story to Jay Leno in her interview on Friday.

Posted in Brooke Shields, Cults, Drugs, Fights, Photos, Reconciliations, Tom Cruise, Video

Written by Celebitchy         5 Comments »
Aug 15
'06
Katie Holmes attends a party with a Scientology handler


Today I read somewhere that Katie Holmes went to a Hollywood party without Tom where the rule was “no guests,” but that she brought a Scientology handler who wouldn’t let her out of her sight. People said that Katie looked “dead in the eyes” and that everyone was talking about her. I looked through my browser history and did a google search and I cannot for the life of me figure out where I read this article. Did I dream it up? Is it old news? If you’ve seen this article, please comment here with the link.

Sorry for the half-story without a link, but I did read that and tried to figure out where I found it for about 20 minutes. That is forever in Internet time.

Here are some new pictures of Tom and Katie outside a stadium in Salt Lake City, Utah. They were in Utah to see Beckham play soccer and could have possibly stopped to see if that couple involved in an accident was hurt, and we reported yesterday, but it still sounds like a PR stunt to me.

Update Thanks to the commentor who pointed me to Perez Hilton’s site for the news. Katie did attend a girls-only party with a Scientology guard. Creepy!

Tom and Katie are also shown backstage at Cirque du Soleil on May 3rd. Thanks to Pink is the New Blog and KatieHolmes.com for these pics.

Posted in Cults, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, TomKat

Written by Celebitchy         1 Comment »
Aug 8
'06
Suri to be unveiled (when Tom feels like it)


MSNBC’s The Scoop borrows our unoriginal observation by calling Suri the “Loch Ness Monster of celebrity babies.”

The whereabouts of baby Suri has become so hotly debated that some wags are calling Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ child the Loch Ness Monster of the celeb world: some are claiming to have seen her, while others insist she’s just a myth.

One rumor is that protective pop Top Gun is reluctant to trot out the child because he’s worried about kidnapping threats. His spokesman denies that buzz — and even denies that Cruise is “reluctant” to show Suri.

“He hasn’t been reluctant,” spokesman Arnold Robinson tells the Scoop. “They will be making a decision to release the photographs [of Suri] shortly.” Will the pics be released to a single or few media outlets, or will it be a general release? “That’s part of the decision they’ll be making shortly,” he said.

Yeah, they’ll make that decision, uh, shortly. Just like they’ll get married any day now. All those preparations at the Celebrity Scientology Center were indeed for a big party as we reported, and not for a supposed wedding or non-existent Suri’s Scientology baptism. It was their 37th anniversary of brainwashing people, and John Travolta and Kelly Preston showed up, lest the Scientologists reveal their darkest secrets. TMZ has a video of Travolta dancing or something at the party, but it didn’t load for me. I’m so dissapointed.

Penelope Cruz said she’d met Suri, but then totally backtracked and made a weird roundabout statement about how she didn’t want to have to lie anymore.

It’s important to keep living life as an observer and not just feel like you’re being the thing observed because then you start looking at yourself from the outside instead of really alert…I forget people are looking at me in a situation like that, like yesterday.”

Here are two guys who work at a radio station protesting outside a Scientology center in Portland. They’re “demanding the Cruise baby.” You really don’t have to watch this, you get the point.

The best is their protest sign with Cuba Gooding Jr. saying “Show me the Baby!”

“Where are here, do si do, show us Suri then we’ll go.” “It’s not fair, we all lose, please show us Suri Cruise”

They ask “Will we ever see the Polaroid of that little baby mongloid?” OMG That is so un-pc, I’m sorry, but it made me laugh.

Posted in Babies, Cults, Katie Holmes, Scandals, Tom Cruise, TomKat, Video

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Aug 4
'06
Madonna invites the Pope to see her blasphemy firsthand


Someone please stop Madonna before she’s damned to hell. She’s using the same old tired “offend all the Christians” gimmick to generate controversy over her geriatric tour. She refused to take the hanging on a cross bit out of her show for the televised version of her concert, and she also declined to take it out when she plays Rome right near the Vatican. Now she’s upped the ante a bit by inviting the creepy Pope himself to her show:

Madonna has invited Pope Benedict XVI to be the guest of honor at her Rome, Italy, Confessions concert on Sunday, which features the mock crucifixion of the singer. Religious leaders in Italy and The Vatican have united to publicly denounce the singer’s controversial stage act, in which she is ‘crucified’ on a diamante-studded cross, while wearing a crown of thorns.

Ersilio Cardinal Tonino, speaking on behalf of The Pope, said yesterday, “This concert is a blasphemous challenge to the faith and a profanation of the cross. She should be ex-communicated. To crucify herself during the concert in the city of Popes and martyrs is an act of open hostility.”

Madonna’s spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg tells the New York Daily News, “I think the Pope would enjoy the show and would applaud her performance. He has an open invitation to see for himself the eloquence and beauty that Madonna expresses for humanity while performing her poignant song ‘Live To Tell.’”

That’s so fucking stupid! Madonna can’t stand being out of the spotlight for five minutes, and she has to offend everyone who isn’t a member of her crazy cult religion.

I’m not religious at all, but I just think that’s ridiculous. Madonna can put all the sexy bits in that she wants, but why does she have to mess with religious symbolism so blatantly?

Yeah sure, Madonna, the Pope’s going to be impressed by your tribute to “humanity.” Give me a break.

Posted in Arrogant, Cults, Madonna, Music, Religion

Written by Celebitchy         3 Comments »
Aug 3
'06
Tom Cruise to buy Neverland? Does Suri just have a birthmark?


The PopBitch e-mail newsletter claims that Tom Cruise is scoping out Neverland ranch and may possibly purchase the freaky estate from heavily in debt Michael Jackson:

There’s been lots of talk about the Church of Scientology buying Neverland from Michael Jackson. We’re hearing that this story is not quite true. It’s even freakier. Scientology champion Tom Cruise is thinking of buying it for himself. He’s been flying around the strange theme park to see if it would make a suitable hideaway for him and invisible baby Suri.

Cruise has to know that this would be an incredibly stupid move. It doesn’t matter how nice the property, zoo, and amusement park are. It would tie him to weirdo Michael Jackson and the press would have a field day.

The newsletter goes on to say that Suri might just have a big birthmark and that could be the reason why she’s been shielded from view:

And talking of Suri - our favourite theory as to why she’s never been seen? The baby is rumoured to have a large port-wine stain, which can’t be treated until she’s three or four months old.

That’s possible, and a very clever excuse if Tom’s camp made it up. Why has nary a bundle, car seat or covered up little baby been seen though? I don’t buy it!

Meanwhile there are preparations underway at the Celebrity Scientology Center for what Pink is the New Blog speculates could be Suri’s unvieling or Tom and Katie’s wedding.

Rebels-Rebels had these pictures of the chandelier and tents covering the compound, and Mollygood has an eyewitness report that they seem to be gearing up for something.

DListed says that there’s a “37th Gala Event” on August 5th though, which just means they’re having some sort of Scientology party.

Posted in Babies, Cults, Katie Holmes, Michael Jackson, Odd, Tom Cruise, TomKat, Weddings

Written by Celebitchy         3 Comments »
Jul 27
'06
Jada Pinkett Smith claims to have seen “Suri”


Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith’s wife, says that she’s seen Tom and Katie’s supposed daughter and that she’s beautiful. Her quotes are much more believable than Leah Remini’s, especially since she’s a cult outsider, but I’m not buying it:

“She’s one of the sweetest babies I’ve ever met in my life,” Pinkett Smith says. “She’s an absolute beauty and she’s Daddy’s little girl.”

Pinkett Smith and her husband Will Smith have visited with Suri twice, both times at Cruise and Holmes’s Beverly Hills mansion.

“She’s beautiful and they’re very happy and they need to be left alone,” says Pinkett Smith, who described Suri while talking to PEOPLE about her participation in last weekend’s Philadelphia anti-violence event, Party 4 Peace, run by pal Charles “Charlie Mack” Alston. “She’s the cutest little baby. She’s got a head full of black, beautiful hair.”

I’ll take empirical evidence over some actress/singer’s word any day. Hey people, I saw a ghost of an old woman last night. She looked incredibly sad, had white hair in a bun, wore a long dress, and I could see through her. Now that I made that claim, that ghost must exist, right?

The Daily Mail calls the rumors that Suri doesn’t exist “conspiracy theories” and says that they’re “crazy” and “clearly inaccurate.” It’s not inaccurate to say she’s never been seen, and it’s easy to dismiss a good argument by labeling it a conspiracy theory without addressing its merits. It’s not a conspiracy theory if it’s true!

That same crappy article recycles a made up quote by Katie’s dad, who originally was said to have complained about Katie’s “Buff Brides” workout plan. They changed it around to make it sound like he was disagreeing with Scientology, but the original quote was about her fitness plan. I know it was fake because the article also featured a fake quote by Sue Fleming, the creator of Buff Brides and a family friend.

Here’s the quote from the article:

“My daughter needs rest, relaxation and recuperation. It’s all down to Scientology and I simply can’t go along with what is happening.”

Here’s the original, totally bogus quote:

“My daughter needs rest, relaxation and recuperation. Katie is already doing exercises to build up her back and shoulders and I simply can’t go along with what is happening.”

The truth is that no one knows how Katie’s parents feel about her involvement in Scientology, or about the fact that they supposedly haven’t seen their grandchild. Maybe they realize that she doesn’t exist and they’re in on the scam. Regardless if Jada Pinkett Smith has seen the little changeling, why has nary a bandle been photographed by the ever-present paparrazi?

People can claim that the baby’s being shielded by the Scientologist freaks, but wouldn’t someone take her out for a walk at least once in the more than three months that she’s supposedly been on the planet?

Posted in Babies, Cults, Jada Pinkett Smith, Katie Holmes, Scandals, Tom Cruise

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
Jul 25
'06
How Tom Cruise really pissed off Steven Spielberg


Tom Cruise was said to be on Spielberg’s bad side after diverting promotion from “War of the Worlds” to his own crazy cult battle against the pharmaceuticals he so desperately needs. It turns out there’s yet another reason for Spielberg to be pissed at Cruise: Scientologists showed up to protest the very psychiatrist Spielberg lauded to Cruise in a personal conversation:

It seems that after Spielberg (in a conversation with Cruise present) praised a psychiatrist who had helped a family member, representatives from the psychiatrist-loathing Church of Scientology staged a protest at the doctor’s office.

Although Cruise was said to have assured Spielberg that he was not behind this incident, it infuriated the director and (perhaps more important) Kate Capshaw, also known as Mrs. Spielberg. For a time, it seems, the Spielbergs waited in vain for the star to explain how, exactly, those protesters happened to appear at the doctor’s office.

Meanwhile Cruise might be dropped by his studio, Paramount. MI3 didn’t overwhelm at the box office, and Spielberg’s Dreamworks is now owned by Paramount, making Tom’s relationship with Spielberg even more important.

Cruise showed up at the Chicago film festival’s tribute to Spielberg in an attempt to make up with the director and salvage his tanking career.

It was also rumored that Cruise went to Spielberg’s office a month ago with non-existent baby Suri to do a personal photo session with Spielberg. This is obviously untrue, and Spielberg’s spokesperson says that the question of the pictures existing “will never be answered.”

People say Spielberg looked uncomfortable with Cruise at the film festival tribute, and you can see the photos below.

Cruise’s involvement with Scientology has only hindered his career and damaged his relationships with key players. Either he’s too brainwashed to get out now, or the cult has such powerful secrets against him that he will never try.

Maybe we’ll all find out what’s going on, or at least be entertained by more juicy gossip, when Andrew Morton’s tell-all Cruise biography comes out.

Here are pictures of Cruise with Spielberg at the film festival that we published earlier.

Posted in Cults, Steven Spielberg

Written by Celebitchy         4 Comments »
Jul 12
'06
Was Suri damaged by too many powerful sonograms?


My two-year old son has very weak front teeth with some visible plaque and chipping. It’s not decay and he rarely drinks juice or eats sugary food. My husband and I consulted dentists in Germany and the US and they both said that his teeth never calcified properly while he was in utero and that it was most likely the result of something that happened in the fourth or fifth month of pregnancy when the buds were forming, probably an illness I had.

When I was five months’ pregnant I rushed over to a 3D ultrasound place to learn my baby’s sex a couple of weeks before my OBGyn was able to schedule the regular sonogram. We got a little DVD set to music and phenomenal pictures in which you can really see his features. My husband says there’s nothing to feel guilty about but I keep wondering if that powerful sonogram damaged my son’s budding teeth, and I would never have one again. That’s the only thing I can remember happening during that time of my pregnancy.

Thanks for reading my rambling story, but the moral is that ultrasounds can damage tiny fetuses in unpredictable ways, and there’s almost no way to tell if a birth defect or small change in a baby is due to an ultrasound. Doctors say they’re safe, but are cautious to recommend that they’re used sparingly. I’ve been thinking about the mystery of Suri, and remembered how Tom bought an ultrasound machine and was talking about how much he loved checking out his unborn child. People really criticized him for it at the time:

An ultrasound machine works by sending vibrations into the body and then waiting for them to bounce back. The machine can use information from the echoes to produce a moving image of a fetus. But not all of the energy that goes into the body comes back out—some gets absorbed in the tissues. This can cause cells to heat up, or it can make trapped gas bubble up. Studies of ultrasound in lab animals have shown that heat and bubble formation (or “cavitation”) can damage internal organs.

Few studies of ultrasound have been conducted on the human fetus (for ethical and logistical reasons), and there’s no smoking gun to suggest that the machines are causing harm. We’ve known for a long time that ultrasound heats up human tissue—that’s the rationale for its application in physical therapy. Several experiments conducted overseas have shown an increase in left-handedness (or at least a reduction in right-handedness) among those exposed to prenatal ultrasound, which suggests that the test could have neurological effects…

Is Tom Cruise putting his baby—or his fiancee—at risk? It depends on what kind of machine he’s using, and whether he’s got a trained sonographer to help him out. He may have a machine that doesn’t have the more dangerous high-power settings.

The article goes on to say that cumulative sonograms aren’t necessarily more damaging than individual sonograms.

There are studies showing ultrasounds are relatively safe, and that there is no connection between prenatal ultrasounds and birth defects. These studies are using old technology, though, and Tom undoubtedly had a 3D ultrasound for Katie’s pregnancy:

In addition, [Kjell Salvesen of the University of Trondheim, Norway] notes that the ultrasound machines used in his study [published in The Lancet, showing ultrasounds are not damaging] are now becoming obsolete, with many hospitals relying on higher-energy devices that produce sharper images. “The technology is rapidly developing, and these safety studies will always come 10 years after the devices have been taken into general use,” he says.

No one can say with certainty that the higher-energy ultrasonic devices cannot harm a fetus, says Vorhees. Heat isn’t the only way in which ultrasound might theoretically damage tissues, he adds. Sound waves may cause microscopic bubbles in body fluids to oscillate and sometimes collapse, Vorhees says. Scientists don’t know whether such problems can injure the fetus.

The scientific uncertainty over ultrasound led the Food and Drug Administration to advise against sonograms during pregnancy unless there is a problem such as bleeding, a family history of birth defects, or some other medical reason for the procedure, including advanced maternal age. FDA specifically warns against using ultrasound “frivolously” — simply to watch the baby float in the womb or to learn the baby’s sex.

Now that Suri hasn’t emerged, and her “birth certificate” is highly suspect, one wonders just exactly what is going on. She may not exist, she may be under Scientology house arrest, or she may have a disorder or delay of unknown origin. You know that Cruise got one of those 3D machines because he’s rich as anything and wouldn’t just buy a regular old model. I really suspect that my son’s teeth were damaged by one and wonder if little Suri suffered any ill effects from Tom’s crazy curiosity.


Katie Holmes is quoted in the upcoming Us Weekly saying that “Suri’s doing great!” but some quote from Katie or her publicist isn’t reassuring at this point.

The Toronto Fashion Monitor says that little Suri could be being raised under strict Scientolgy “no noise” conditions, in which little children are shielded from noise coupled with bad experiences because it can create a bad memory they call an “engram.”

Scientologists don’t believe in comforting hurt little children, either. They think that if they stumble and hit their head on a rock, for instance, they should be made to lay their head back on the rock so that the bad energy and pain will flow back into it.

Even if “Suri” or a baby facsimile emerges at this point, I’m never going to believe that she’s the product of Katie and Tom. Something highly suspect is going on, although I hope I’m not right that the baby does exist and is suffering from a defect or illness.

Posted in Babies, Cults, Katie Holmes, Scandals, Tom Cruise, TomKat

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Jul 6
'06
NO ONE has seen Suri Cruise


This baby just does not exist or something is wrong with it. People claim that Cruise is holding Suri back because of his wacko cult religion, Scientology, or because he didn’t get enough cash for the photos, but there hasn’t even been a bundle photographed. Now his celebrity friends claim to have never seen the mystery spawn, either:

BABY Suri Cruise isn’t just playing hide-and-seek with the public. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show off their spawn to fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley. Even good pals Will and Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly have not met the newborn despite repeated calls to Cruise, reports Us Weekly. “Every time, it’s a different excuse: He’s busy or Kate’s not feeling well,” said a source. “[The Smiths] think it’s so weird.”

Even if they wanted to shield the baby from the negative influence of the media or whatever, we still would have seen Katie or a nanny/Scientology handler out walking with a stroller or holding a covered bundle.

Katie even went to her parent’s house in Ohio at the end of May, and there were no photographs of the supposed baby.

All we have to vouch for Suri’s existence is a report from an “eyewitness” who saw a bundle from very far away.

Readers of Celebrity Baby Blog came up with several plausible theories to explain the Suri mystery:

  • that the pregnancy was faked and Suri was adopted

  • that Katie was pregnant before she and Tom hooked up, and that she gave birth earlier and the latter part of the pregnancy was faked
  • that though she conceived while with Tom, he is not the genetic father and Suri looks nothing like him
  • that Suri has some kind of unattractive physical attribute that Tom and/or Katie do not want made public
  • that Tom has paid off the paparazzi not to take her photo
  • that Suri has not yet been outside of Tom’s estate (the most likely reason in my opinion), with some people thinking that Child Protective Services should be called (!!!)
  • WTF is going on? They better procure a baby that sort of looks like them fast, because this is turning into one of the biggest Hollywood scandals ever.

    Header image is an original illustration by the Grumpy Old Indian Man. Images of Tom Cruise from late June. [via]

    Posted in Babies, Cults, Katie Holmes, Scandals, Tom Cruise, TomKat

    Written by Celebitchy         7 Comments »
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