For absolutely no reason at all, Shia LaBeouf appeared on the “Late Show with David Letterman” on Monday evening. Actually, there is a reason it happened — officially, to promote The Company You Keep (the movie where he looks like a hipster Unabomber) in limited release — but it really seems like Shia merely stopped by to talk with Dave about his ongoing feud with Alec Baldwin. I’ll let that settle in for just a moment.

To recap, Shia is still trying to recover from his failure to execute a Broadway debut alongside Alec and Tom Sturridge in Orphans. Shia left the play after he and Alec clashed, and Shia ended up being the first one to punch a hole in a door backstage. Shia was quickly replaced by Ben Foster, and Shia didn’t know how to handle his first professional failure. To be certain, Shia’s been acting like an immature dweeb and biting the proverbial hand for the past few years with no repercussions. He even gets into bar fights and then Bob Redford merely slaps him on the back on set the next day. Now Shia has actually failed at a job that has quickly moved on without him, and the dude just can’t handle it.

Hence Shia’s need to post a plagiarized apology letter to Alec online, and his inability to stop publishing private email conversations between himself and co-workers just to make himself (in his eyes) look good. Then he started posting not-so-cryptic summary dismissals of theater as an art form, and Alec once again managed to look like the good guy in this fight by refusing to engage Shia other than to say Shia has no experience to judge in this matter. That had to kill Shia, so he tried to make himself look like a big man last week by purchasing a $127 orchestra ticket to a preview performance (and posting photo proof) of Orphans, and now he’s visited Letterman to make his case.

Naturally, Letterman gave a wonderfully stitled lead in to this interview and basically let Shia destroy himself in front of the audience. Letterman provided some leading questions to get Shia to admit that he was fired (and didn’t quit, which was the assumption that Shia let ride until now). Quite amusingly, Dave also suggested that it could have been Alec (who is Dave’s real-life friend) who told the producers to fire Shia, and Shia just let that one slide too (“I think that might’ve been what happened) either because he was too dumbfounded to deny it or because it really happened. Who knows?

Shia went on to describe why he and Alec clashed during production of the play — because they’re both so “passionate and impulsive.” He further dug that hole by adding, “Me and Alec had tension as men, not as artists,” which was met with awkward giggles from the audience. LOL. Then Shia delivered a weak attempt at reconciliation: “Alec, I think you’re awesome, man. That’s it.” Here’s a video clip if you want to witness this tragic douchery for yourself:

For what it’s worth, Shia also talked about why he’s walking around in a boot after hurting his foot. That part isn’t so interesting, but here’s a clip anyway:

After Shia bid farewell to Dave Letterman, he headed towards the The Company You Keep NYC premiere. Ireland Baldwin was at the premiere too! Alec needn’t worry about Shia putting his moves on Ireland, since he’s already taken, and I’m sure Ireland will manage just fine without breaking off a piece of that hipster douche.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Warning! This story is a little bit disgusting but not in a conventional sense. Don’t worry, you won’t vomit or anything by reading it. Here’s what happened: James “AAART” Franco visited the “Late Show with David Letterman” because Franco is still promoting both Oz the Great and Powerful and Spring Breakers, and Dave is a great interviewer regardless of the subject at hand. I mean, you all know how I feel about James Franco, but this story (surprisingly) isn’t really about Franco.

Rather, Franco waltzed out to his interview, greeted Dave, and brought up the topic of Spring Breakers director Harmony Korine (Kids, Trash Humpers) to Dave, and then Franco inquired as to why his “good friend” had been banned from the show until infinity. Apparently, Franco had the wrong idea about the affair, and he harbored the impression that Korine was banned because he engaged in a throwdown with Meryl Streep. To Dave’s credit, he totally called out this nonsense to Franco and corrected the tale. The true version? In the late 1990s, Korine was scheduled to appear on the same episode as Meryl Streep, but Dave found Korine in Meryl’s dressing room. At the moment of discovery, Korine was rifling through Meryl’s purse! In response, Dave kicked him out, and Korine was banned for the forseeable future. Here is the video apparance of Franco’s relevant appearance on Letterman with details below the clip:

US talkshow host David Letterman has revealed he banned director Harmony Korine from The Late Show after finding him going through Meryl Streep’s purse backstage.

Korine appeared on Letterman in the late 90s, a period during which he was using crack and heroin and which saw two of his homes burn down in mysterious circumstances. The film-maker, who looks set to have the biggest hit of his career with the comedy thriller Spring Breakers, is now clean.

Korine’s friend, and the star of Spring Breakers, James Franco, appeared on Letterman on Monday night and asked the comic to finally reveal why the film-maker, whose trio of stumbling, half-cut appearances on The Late Show are legendary, had been asked not to return. The actor revealed his friend had told him he was banned for pushing Streep backstage, adding: “Harmony is a very sane guy now, a great artist and great person to work with, but I think he had a period where he was going a little off the rails, so maybe he was on something that night.”

Letterman then revealed the true story behind the incident in public for the first time. “I went upstairs to greet Meryl Streep and welcome her to the show, and I knock on the door … and she was not in there,” he said. “And I looked around, and she was not in there, and I found Harmony going through her purse. True story. And so I said: ‘That’s it, put her things back in her bag and then get out.’”

Letterman said he would now be happy to have the director, who completed rehab more than a decade ago, back on his show. Korine, who wrote the controversial film Kids for director Larry Clark at the age of 19, has described the period as a “crazy time” that he could not live through again. “I felt pretty debased and lost,” he told the Guardian in 2008. “I became like a tramp. I wasn’t delusional. I didn’t think I was going to be OK. I thought: ‘This might be the end.’ I’d read enough books. I knew where this story ended. The story finishes itself.”

[From Guardian]

I love Franco’s reaction at the end of the clip when he realizes that his friend snowed him under as to the true reason why he got banned from Dave’s show. Obviously, it’s commendable that Korine managed to wrestle free from the depths of crack and heroin addiction, but still, don’t lie to your friends and then subject them to finding out the truth on a late night talk show. Besides, who the hell messes with Meryl Streep without risking a universal blacklist? Harmony should just be thrilled that he managed to secure funding for his latest (bikini exploitation) movie.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Selena Gomez appeared on “The Late Show with David Letterman” last night to promote Spring Breakers, which managed to gross a $90,000 per screen average in just three theaters last weekend. However, Dustin Rowles at Pajiba maintains that this weekend’s rollout to wide release will flop and earn no more than $3 million once word of mouth spreads about what a dark, dreary (yet somehow pointless) movie this movie really turned out to be.

In the meantime, we still love Selena, and she looked fantastic in this black Pucci dress (with polka dot detail) that she paired with a Dolce & Gabbana blazer. Her legs go on for miles and miles, and she’s got quite a personality on her as well. In particular, when Dave cracked a joke about making Justin Bieber cry during his last appearance (“Now, the last time he was on, he and I got into a conversation and he said something and I said something, and then he said something and I said something, and I made him cry“), Selena wryly replied, “Well then, that makes two of us.” Here’s a video clip of that wonderful moment:

Selena also informed Dave that she was very single and happy about it. Considering what she also said about Biebs, I think she’s finally ensured that they’ll never get back together. You know that when Bieber heard about this, he probably had another “back in your carseat, young man!” type of moment.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Johnny Depp was on the Late Show last night and I would have done this post sooner, but I decided to watch Hugh Jackman’s appearance from Wednesday night first and I got distracted imagining what I would do to him. (CBS puts the episodes online but it takes forever to watch them as the commercials are excessive.)

I won’t go into the details that are crowding my mind, but Johnny no longer has that immediate effect on me. (That’s not to say I would turn him down! It would be the highlight of my life.) Lately he’s looking more like a parody of his former self. Just check out this goofy long thin scarf he’s paired with pants that are cut up and hanging on the ground. Would it kill him to polish his boots? On the show he wore a ton of stacked necklaces, a shirt hanging off the back of his pants and plenty of rings. Johnny loves his accessories.

Johnny was on the Late Show doing a favor for an old musician friend, Bill Carter, with whom he performed after giving an interview. (Here’s a link to a clip of Johnny and Bill’s interview.) He was also promoting Lone Ranger, but it’s not out until July, damnit. Johnny explained that he’d met Bill and his wife in Atlanta back when he was filming Gilbert Grape (early 90s!) and that he’d actually lived with them for a few months afterwards. It was a really nice story and I was impressed at what a loyal friend he is.

Johnny’s voice was gruffer than usual as he talked about his past as a musician, saying he’d played with a band called “The Kids” and that they’d opened for The Pretenders, Billy Idol and The Ramones. He looked tired and was thinner than we’ve seen him recently.

As for how his film career started, Johnny said that his buddy Nicolas Cage sent him to his agent to read for Nightmare on Elm Street, the first one, and the rest was history. When Letterman complimented him that his movies were huge successes, Johnny quipped “it’s got nothing to do with me I don’t think” I take it back, he’s starting to do it for me again! It just took me a while to warm up to him this time. Johnny, come back to us, we still love you!

There’s a clip of Johnny Depp performing, he plays backup guitar, over at E! Online! Oh and he also told a story about falling off a horse while filming Lone Ranger. You can read that on E! if you’re interested. I think he’s going to work his way back into our good graces, I really do. I can’t stay mad at him even if he does dress like this.

Photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

Charlie Sheen was on David Letterman last night to promote his show Anger Management, on FX, which returns on Thursday. He was cagey when Dave asked whether he was still on drugs, implying he was, and he also said he doesn’t regret his epic meltdown. He acted like it was amazing and he fondly remembers that manic, drug-fuelled time in his life. I’m honestly surprised that it’s been nearly two years since Charlie spectacularly left his job as the highest paid actor on television, had a hoard of live-in prostitutes, and coined the most inventive phrases we’ve ever heard from a celebrity. I expected Charlie to spend an extended period of time in rehab, jail or the morgue, but none of that came to pass and Charlie is still around. He’s got a sense of humor about the whole thing, but he does admit that he’s embarrassed he was so vocal during his meltdown, which he calls a “meltforward.” Oh Charlie.

On his meltdown
A lot of it was memorable. A lot of it was experiences I would never otherwise have. I booked a 21 city tour in 33 days with no act.

On what he learned
I guess I’m not a normal person

On if he’s been to therapy
I spent 10 years in therapy. I quit about two years ago. Hey, right around the time of the meltdown… it was kind of a meltforward.

On whether he would go back on Two and a Half Men
I would like to go back, I would like to appear on their final episode.

On the fact that his character got killed off
I am dead but so is the show. They’re doing the best they can. One more season.

On Angus T Jones condemning the show
I haven’t spoken to him I don’t know.

On his relationship with Jon Cryer
He’s great, one of my favorite people. I did [call him a troll] but I retracted it. He’s a genius, he’s one of my favorite costars ever.

On if he’s embarrassed
Of course! Have you seen some of those interviews? That stuff’s out there forever, man. If I had to do it all over, I probably would have been a little less vocal.

On his ‘amazingly descriptive phrases’
It was just part of where my mind was going, thank you. Stuff was just falling out and then there were T-shirts. Boom. It was a trip.

On if he was using crack cocaine back then
I like to call it base. “Crack cocaine,” I love my life. You’re awesome, I love it. Here’s the confusing part. I wish it was crack cocaine. It wish it was an ocean of vodka, a bathtub full of pills. It was just my brain was kind of separated into itself and uh, I just had to take a stand for what was right.

Dave asks “and the cocaine was a factor”?
Not just the meltdown, the previous 30 years, sure.

On if he’s sober now
I don’t really believe in that lifestyle anymore cause it doesn’t seem fair — you guys don’t want me clean and sober, that’s boring!

[Quotes via CBS videos and Radar Online]

Please forgive me for saying that on some level I admire how Charlie Sheen is handling this. I hate that I’m saying that and I know he’s a crazy, drug-addled abusive a-hole – I know! But he’s like “yeah, I was embarrassed at how I acted but it’s all good.” Even though he’s a total addicted mess, there’s something appealing about the guy. He’s laughing at himself. I now need to go scrub myself from head to toe.

Over on The Huffington Post they report that Sheen told Letterman that he was about to be a grandfather. This begs the question: which child of Sheen’s is going to give birth? I thought he only had four kids, all little, but a quick glance at Wiki reveals that he has a 28 year-old daughter, Cassandra Jade Estevez, with his former high school girlfriend. That means that Sheen’s latest porn star/hooker girlfriend is younger than his oldest daughter. Of course she is.

Here are the videos of Charlie on The Late Show, thanks to Radar.

Photo credit: HRC/WENN.com

Tom Cruise stopped by the “Late Show with David Letterman” last night, and that means he’s in New York City, so maybe he’ll decide to take a few minutes from his very important, hectic schedule and visit Suri. It’s the least he can do. I kind of love the above photo, which is rather enlightening because Tom’s red eyes are betraying the very moment when Xenu comes out to play.

Now onto a more important topic, which is the re-appearance of Tom’s moobs. We are officially back on Moob Watch, people. Kaiser was the first one to notice Tom’s adorable little A-cups, and then she called him out on trying to use his shiny, blue, puffy jacket to hide those suckers. The moobs went away for a few months while Tom got in shape to shoot a few action flicks, but then Tom wore the moob-hiding jacket last week in Madrid, so I guess that’s a good indication that they’re back, right? Look at them. They are so perky. Honestly, I wish my rack was this small. I’d save so much money on sports bras:

Tom’s actual appearance last night on Letterman was an eventful one, but not because there was much talk of Jack Reacher. They did show a clip, but Paramount’s promotion has dropped to a mere trickle in regards to discussing the movie, which is quite violent with all manner of gunplay and Tom beating the living crap out of various characters. That is, in the fallout of the Sandy Hook shootings, the NYC premiere has been postponed out of respect to the victims of the tragedy, which is a smart move. So good on Tom for taking it down a notch too when it comes to pimping his latest project (although other Scientologists haven’t been nearly as well-behaved, and I’ve been giving Juliette Lewis the middle finger all weekend for retweeting “news stories” about how all violence is a direct result of psychiatry — because Xenu drugged his peeps before blowing up all the volcanoes).

In lieu of discussing much about Jack Reacher, Tom and Dave talked about their kids. More specifically, Dave pondered when having “the talk” was appropriate, and then Dave started in on how his kid knows a dirty word or two. Here’s Tom’s shocked face when Letterman drops the F-bomb and a video clip of the moment below:

Oh, Tom. His response is rather hilarious yet ultimately predictable here. He’s such a “clean” guy, you know? I remember how Adam Carolla talked about how Tom stopped by Jimmy Kimmel’s house to watch football (and Tom brought his mom), and Tom was so offended (although he was trying to hide it) at all the poop jokes and alcohol-ridden behavior on display. In Adam’s words, “He comes across as a guy who’s battling to be normal, like he’s from another planet, and he’s studying guys and saying, “What would a guy do in this situation?’.” And then Adam did a really gross thing with a football in front of Tom. Wait, what was I talking about?

Right. MOOBS.

Screencaps courtesy of YouTube, photos courtesy of WENN

Here are some photos of Amanda Seyfried looking gorgeous in front of the Ed Sullivan theater ahead of her appearance on “The Late Show with David Letterman.” This was actually a pretty atypical television interview for Amanda because she pretty much let loose from the very beginning and confessed to Letterman that she was completely drunk. Yeah, I’m sure the Les Miserables producers loved hearing that, but it’s better than the alternative, which is the socially awkward Amanda that comes out during most print interviews.

Also (and even though Amanda tells Dave that she has a habit of drinking before talk shows), I’m pretty sure that Amanda hadn’t had anything to drink during this terribly stilted Craig Ferguson interview from 2010 (when she was promoting Letters to Juliet). Back then, the pressure wasn’t on because Amanda was riding high on her Mamma Mia! success and promoting a romantic comedy that was sure to (and did) succeed. Now, Amanda has had more than a few underwhelming rounds of box-office returns (Red Riding Hood, In Time, and Gone), and the pressure is on. Could this have pushed her to the bottle, or is she just messing with us? Here’s the details from Us Weekly:

Amanda Seyfried really loosens up after a few drinks!

The actress appeared on The Late Show With David Letterman Dec. 11 to promote her new movie, Les Miserables. During her interview, however, the 27-year-old admitted to being a bit tipsy.

“I’m pretty drunk. To be honest with you Dave, I’ve had about three,” she deadpanned. “I’m a big fan of whiskey. I had some Midleton. [My costar] Russell Crowe gave me some Midleton for my birthday and I had some of that before I got here. And then your lovely colleagues had some Jameson waiting for me [backstage].”

She added, “I have to go on record saying I’ve never done a live television show — after noon — without some kind of liquid courage.”

While Seyfried recognized that she might “have a problem, maybe,” the starlet has no intention of staying sober for TV interviews. “You know what? It really gets me through, and I really wanna enjoy my experience out here because it’s special.”

When the TV host jokingly asked Seyfried is she’ll ever end up in rehab, she giggled and replied, “No!”

According to Seyfried — whose ex-boyfriends include Dominic Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, Alexander Skarsgard and Josh Hartnett — she’s been on a bit of a bender. “I don’t drink often. I swear, I don’t! I’ve been with the [Les Miserables] cast a lot. . . and it’s really fun because we all really like each other. None of us really drink.”

Before the interview ended, Letterman toasted the star with another glass of Jameson — her fourth — before signing off.

[From Us Weekly]

I like that she’s admitting to “liquid courage” in the form of whisky, which is probably better than I would have done … a few margaritas. Does she really seem “lit” though, or is she just faking it? I can’t tell. Here’s a video clip of Amanda’s “Late Show” appearance. If she’s truly drunk, then she maintains pretty damn well.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Our general rule for covering politically-charged stories is “We’ll cover it if it has a celebrity/gossip/tabloid element.” I think appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman is celebrity/gossip-y enough. So here you go… Pres. Obama appeared on The Late Show last night for an interview that went longer than 30 minutes. It was particularly interesting timing – once again, in a gossip context – because yesterday, Mother Jones released the full video of Mitt Romney’s comments/Q&A at a Florida fundraiser, and Romney even name-checked Letterman. Romney said – to his contributors – that he would never do Saturday Night Live because it had “the potential of looking slapstick and not presidential,” but that he has done Letterman AND Leno and “Now Letterman hates me because I’ve been on Leno more than him; they’re very jealous of each other, as you know.” You can watch the full video of Romney’s fundraiser comments here.

As for Obama’s interview with Letterman… I still haven’t watched the whole thing (it’s so long!). But I thank CBS for making the full video available:

Here’s what Obama had to say about Romney’s “47 percent” comment (which, btw, Romney has doubled-down on although he admitted he stated his case inelegantly):

“Well, I don’t know what he was referring to, but I can tell you this. When I won in 2008, 47 percent of the American people voted for John McCain, they didn’t vote for me. And what I said on election night was, even though you didn’t vote for me, I hear your voices and I’m going to work as hard as I can to be your president. And one of the things I’ve learned as president is you represent the entire country. And when I meet Republicans as I’m traveling around the country, they are hard-working, family people, who care deeply about this country and my expectation is that if you want to be president you got to work for everybody not just for some.”

“You don’t meet anybody who doesn’t believe in the American Dream and the fact that nobody’s entitled to success… There are not a lot of people out there who think they’re victims. There are not a lot of people who think they’re entitled to something. What I think the majority of people, Democrats and Republicans, believe is that we’ve got some obligations to each other and there’s nothing wrong with us giving each other a helping hand.”

Obama even half-defends Romney during part of the interview, saying that “People understand, I think, that you’re going to make mistakes on the campaign trail.” But Obama counters, “What I think people want to make sure of though is that you’re not writing off a big chunk of the country.”

I believe was this was Pres. Obama’s last time in New York before Election Day – in addition to doing The Late Show, he also appeared at a fundraiser hosted by Jay-Z and Beyonce, which was held at Jay’s 40/40 club. Us Weekly says that Obama praised Beyonce in particular during the fundraiser, saying: “To J and B, thank you so much for your friendship. Beyonce could not be a better role model for my girls. [As for Jay], we both have daughters and our wives are more popular than we are. So, you know, we’ve got a little bond there. It’s hard but it’s okay.”

Last thing – if you’d like to read an excellent interview/profile of Obama, Vanity Fair’s Michael Lewis did a wonderful piece in the October issue, and VF has put it online here.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It’s always a very special day for me when we get new photos of Timothy Olyphant. Of course, these particular pictures don’t have the greatest lighting, for they were taken close to dusk amongst the shadows of midtown Manhattan yesterday while Timothy was outside the Ed Sullivan theater for an appearance on “The Late Show with David Letterman.” Still, we have Olyphant, and there are very few things I enjoy more on this planet than just watching this man walk:

There’s an interview too, of course! So we get to watch and hear Olyphant speak in his typical animated fashion, which is very different than the “strong words, soft voice” method he uses to portray the Raylan Givens character on FX’s “Justified.” Oly usually talks a lot during interviews about his family and has a very deadpan sense of humor that doesn’t always translate as intended, such as that time he joked about dumping his wife if he’d won the Emmy. In his defense, that really was her idea, and their marriage has endured for over two decades, so I find it difficult to believe that he should be judged poorly for such an inside joke. About a year ago, Olyphant also had a very cute Ellen interview where he talked about his pets, especially two Shiloh Shepherds that he calls “Ah-ah!” and “NO.” Last night with Letterman, Olyphant dished on how his 12-year-old daughter (he’s got two other children, aged 8 and 10, with wife Alexis) doesn’t think he’s a very cool guy at all. Olyphant (and his fans) would beg to differ:

On his 10-year-old son: “The boy’s in the middle. It’s tough, you know. I keep telling him, I say, ‘Buddy, listen. In a couple of years, you’re going to love your older sister’s friends. And then a couple years after that, then you’re gonna love your younger sister’s friends. It means nothing to him right now.”

On his 12-year-old daughter: “Here’s the problem. When she was younger, we used to argue, and I was cool with that. Now when she gets mad at me, she just stares at me. And she doesn’t say it, she’s a good kid, but I know she’s thinking, ‘You’re an a–hole.’ And she just stares at me like that! And I don’t say it, but what I’m thinking is ‘I’m gonna Google myself just to show her that I’m cool. Look, I don’t know when I became ‘that guy.’ I’m the cool guy. I feel like I’m wanting to tell the 12-year-old, ‘No, no no. I’m not that guy.’ “

I just love this guy. He’s very grounded and has been puttering around Hollywood since the mid 1990s, so it’s nice to see him gain some much deserved mainstream success. Of course, that also destroys my fantasies of keeping him all to myself, but whatever. I can deal if it means seeing more Olyphant. Here are some closeups. He looks so good going gracefully grey at the temples, right?

Photos courtesy of WENN

Kate Beckinsale was on The Late Show last night in a tight sequin one-shoulder Donna Karan gown. She paired it with Louboutin slingbacks and big diamond Neil Lane hoop earrings. She was promoting the fourth Underworld movie, Underworld: Awakening. As Lainey mentions, it looks like she was dressing for an awards ceremony, not for Letterman. She’s so pretty but she constantly overdresses and overstyles herself. Her hair extensions were also ridiculously long as usual. For some reason her hair bugs me like that as it often looks very fake.

On Letterman (video above) Kate told some funny stories involving her 13 year-old daughter. She said that her daughter, Lily, thinks of her mom as embarrassing now. She also shared a photo and a story about parasailing with Lily on vacation in the Bahamas. It was basically terrifying for both of them. I’ve seen other interviews with Kate and she’s always funny, prepared with good stories and completely “on” without seeming to try too hard. (Apart from her fashion.) She never shares anything particularly revealing and she’s clearly got the game down.

In terms of how I feel about her, I’m basically neutral. She seems to get papped a disproportionate amount to her level of fame, and I’m sure she sets up candids. She’s not offensive in any way, but I do find her a bit phony. She’s overrated, I guess that sums it up for me.

Here are some recent photos of her. She looks like Posh, right? So perfectly put together. Somewhat put out to be photographed in transit, but not really.

Photo credit: Fame/Flynet