I have a love-hate relationship with Demi Moore. More hate than love, but occasionally I do think Demi is right on some things. But this is one of the many times where I really hate her. The story: Kim Kardashian twit-pic’d yet another photo of herself, this time with some friends. Kim captioned the photo: “Big pimpin w @SerenajWilliams @LaLaVazquez @Kelly_Rowland Love u girls!” Yes, Kim said that she was “big pimpin” with some friends. So Demi Moore climbed up Kim’s ass about it, sending a flurry of tweets about “pimpin” and slavery. Here’s the screen-capped tweets from Demi Moore’s account and a summary by HuffPo:

Demi Moore does not think the word “pimpin” is cool, despite Jay-Z singing about it, and Kim Kardashian found out by being called out on Twitter.

Sunday night Kim tweeted a photo of herself and three celebrity friends (seen below) at a Miami party with the message, “Big pimpin w @SerenajWilliams @LaLaVazquez @Kelly_Rowland Love u girls!”

Demi responded, “Are you using the word “pimpin” as in pimping?”, to which Kardashian replied: “Doesn’t everyone? LOL… Nothing wrong with dancing to Big Pimpin’ by Jay Z in the club! Having a girls night out, gotta love that song!”

Not so fast! Demi, who campaigns against child slavery with husband Ashton Kutcher, wrote, “A pimp is nothing more than a slave owner!.. if we want to end slavery we need to stop glorifying the “pimp” culture.. I was just making a point about how we have used a word and desensitized the real meaning.”

An hour later she wrote, “Clearly I stirred up a s**t storm.”

In the end Kim, who at first defended the word, tweeted, “Good point!I agree! It was just a song not literal.”

[From Huffington Post]

I never thought I would say this, but Team Kardashian. For goodness sake, it’s not like Kim was being terribly original, she was quoting a f-cking Jay-Z song, she was hanging out with her girls, and she so obviously did not mean anything about hookers or pimps or slavery or anything like that. So Demi needs to go on her meds or something. And as LaineyGossip points out, Demi and Ashton are friends with P. Diddy, who does more to denigrate women and encourage a “pimpin” culture than any f-cking Kardashian. Does Demi need a new definition of “pimpin” to make this sh-t real? Here you go, Demi. My definition of pimpin: Rumer’s Hollywood career. How much did you and Bruce have to pimp her out to get her a career?

Demi’s tweets screen-capped from her Twitter.

I’ve been waiting days for this Harper’s Bazaar cover story to come online, and finally it has. I’m not sure why I was so geared up about it, other then I really wanted to see these now infamous shots of Demi with a giraffe. Oh, and I always love to hate a good Demi Moore delusion-filled interview. Some of the early gems of the piece are that Demi has just weaned herself off of an “eight Red Bulls-a-day” habit and is now drinking Vita Coco coconut water, which is the same Brazilian “youth water” company that Madonna invested in several months ago. So… basically, this interview is product placement. Here’s more:

Demi on how hot she’s not: “I don’t like drinking water, so this is great,” she says. Ask her the secret to her age-defying hotness (obviously not traditional hydration) and she replies, “Hotness? Well, if you want to look at how dorky I am.”

Does Demi consider herself a cougar? [She wears] two diamond Cartier Panthère rings. Panthères as in panthers, which some people call pumas. Demi likes pumas; she infinitely prefers them to cougars. “Cougar has become so distasteful,” she says, nose wrinkling. “I really hate that expression.” She said recently that when it comes to her relationship, she’d prefer to be called a puma. “It has a sweeter quality, more elegant. And then somebody said to me, ‘Pumas are only for people in their 30s.’ Somebody really offended me on Twitter by saying, ‘How is that better, switching from one predator to another?’ I wrote back, saying it’s important to keep your sense of humor.”

On using Twitter for good: Demi uses Twitter as a forum for her calls for awareness of sexual trafficking and slavery. The couple recently established the DNA Foundation, which has been working with the State Department. “It is something that we are committed to, particularly as it relates to underage girls,” she says. “We want to have some effects on legislation in the U.S.” She is practicing what she preaches: More than half of her posts are on the subject, directing followers where to get involved.

So, do the Kutchers have a stake in Twitter or what? “Do not. We should, but no, to be very clear, we have no side financial relationship whatsoever.” So basically — for now anyway — they just dig it. “I like to connect to people in the virtual world,” she explains, “exchanging thoughts and ideas, when in the physical world we might never have the opportunity to cross paths.”

She‘s still in denial about that re-touched W Magazine cover: “Okay, that is literally my shape,” Demi says, sticking her leg out for effect. What bothered her, she says, “wasn’t that people were saying it was retouched, it was that they were saying my hip was so badly botched because a hunk of it was taken out. I called the photographers, and they said, ‘We did not touch anything on your hip, your thigh, or your waist. It was the position.’ Actually, somebody sent me an image I retweeted on Twitter. It was this beautiful marble statue, and the body position was exactly the same as what I was doing. This person had outlined how the hip goes in and the leg goes out.” So silence thee, hip haters.

Demi is a size two, but hates how small models are: “Models, even male models — how small they’ve gotten! It looks great for the clothes, but it’s not what you want in real life. Why do we have to keep looking at ourselves and measuring?”

On fashion: Demi has long supported young American designers (she was one of the first to wear Proenza Schouler and is a big fan of rising star Prabal Gurung), as much as she loves her Lanvin. She has “two modes: baggy boyfriend jeans and a T-shirt with a little cardigan and ballet flats. And then I have the other part of my life that’s dress-up.” That translates into slinky cocktail numbers that are as glossy as her famous mane of hair. In this session, Demi wears an abstract print dress from the late Alexander McQueen. “McQueen was a genius,” she says. “I was always thrilled to wear his clothes because they were more than fashion; they were truly works of art.” She sees more in fashion than just clothes. “I met Roland Mouret the other night, and he said, ‘Fashion is a language without words.’ That’s why I love it.”

On meeting Ashton: When Demi met Kutcher at a play in New York in 2003, she was doing “dress-up” — to be specific, wearing a strappy blue Proenza Schouler cocktail dress. In short, she winks, it was “the dress that gets results.” Common lore has it that the pair were introduced by that erstwhile cupid, Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, but no. “It was another friend,” Demi says with a smile, stirring the vegetable concoction brought in by her smiling lady chef. “It was an effective evening. It was a life-changing evening.”

On Ashton in general: “I knew it had the potential to be something special right away,” she says. “It was like meeting somebody that I’ve just known where you just recognize one another. It was so disproportionate, the level of emotion we were experiencing to the time we had spent together. But when you don’t know someone, you can’t just jump and say ‘I love you.’” Nice to meet you, I love you! “Yeah. No. We used to end our calls or e-mails with ‘And everything we don’t say.’ It just seemed too much, too soon.”

On staying relevant: In her own way, Demi has been a face of every decade. She grabs the zeitgeist and runs with it, from ’80s Brat Packer to ’90s box-office empress to this new decade’s queen of celebrity cyberspace. “I have three kids, so I’m surrounded by teenagers,” she explains, “and I’m married to a younger man. But I think it’s generally being interested in where the world is going.”

On aging: “I feel better in my skin, 100 percent,” she says. “That’s the tradeoff. You have greater effects of gravity, but the better sense of yourself you have is something I wouldn’t trade. Women who lie about their age — why?” She’ll try a new skin cream (her latest, Stemulation, along with the Clarisonic Opal, a sonic skin-care machine), “but I’m not an extremist. I mean, I’m not risky with haircuts. Someone did just bring me the latest fad from Russia, though,” she laughs. “Horse shampoo and conditioner.”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

Yeah, I still think Demi is a delusional bitch. But have you noticed something? Every year, Demi’s face gets tighter, yet she looks just a tad older. At some point, something’s got to give, and when it does, I hope to God Demi won’t still be playing around with these “Women who lie about their age — why? I’m not an extremist” non-denial denials. But, as angry as I get with Demi for all of the surgery and denials, I start to like her when she talks about Ashton. I have to admit, I buy that sh-t. I think they adore each other. And that’s really cool.

Harper’s Bazaar cover shoot with Demi, courtesy of Bazaar’s slideshow.

This story is so gross, so hilarious, so ridiculous, I’m kind of thinking it just might be true. According to Life & Style Magazine, Demi Moore was attending a party at the Chateau Marmont recently. She brought her purse-holder Ashton Kutcher and her oldest daughter Rumer. While at the party, Demi decided to do a pole dance. Which is funny enough because, I mean, isn’t Demi afraid a strong wind will bust something on her face? But I digress. So, Demi did a pole dance, and then… she “encouraged Rumer to join her.” Gawd, MOM, stop embarrassing me!!!

Mothers and daughters like to shop together — but pole dancing? That’s what Striptease star Demi Moore, 47, and daughter Rumer Willis, 21, did for fun at a party at the Chateau Marmont in LA on Feb. 27.

“There was a pole at the bash, and Demi thought it would be fun to show everyone she still has what it takes,” a partygoer tells Life & Style. “Demi even spun around the pole upside down. It was incredible.”

Then it was Rumer’s turn, as stepdad Ashton Kutcher and A-listers Jennifer Aniston and Leonardo DiCaprio, among others, looked on.

“It was strange, but Demi encouraged Rumer to join her,” says the partygoer. “Everyone was cheering, and Leo gave Ashton a high-five. Ashton put his arms around both Demi and Rumer and looked like the proudest man in the room.”

[From Life & Style]

If my mother ever pole danced, I would check her into the hospital for fear she had a personality-altering brain tumor. If my mother even mentioned a wayward desire to pole dance, I would ask her to be quiet, lest I need to bleach my brain. But this could be the answer to many questions I have about Rumer, and why she is the way she is. Not that she’s a bad kid or anything, she just seems a little full of herself with very little actual talent to back up that ego. But if you had that mother, you would have some personality quirks too.

Demi and Rumer on September 3, 2009 and August 20. Credit: WENN.

These are photos of Susan Sarandon, Demi Moore and Brooke Shields at the Donna Karan fashion show in New York on Monday. Even though it seems like Demi has been hellbent on stealing the spotlight from whomever is around, at the show it was Susan who taught the master class in “pulling focus”. I can’t even believe what Susan’s wearing! At 63 years old, Susan decided to go ultra-lowcut in a plaid wrap-dress/caftan thing with righteous black boots. I don’t mind saying that I would rock the hell out of this outfit. But I can’t now – Susan already did it so well!

HuffPo makes a big deal about Susan’s monster cleavage. They call her outfit a “plunging plaid caftan that exposed a glimpse of black bra for the front-row photo op.” I can’t even see the bra! Other than the dress, though, I don’t really care for Susan’s hair or makeup. If she was trying to impress someone with how young and hip she looked, she shouldn’t have done her hair in a grandma bun and she could have tried some concealer. But other than that, yes, she looked great.

By the way, do you know what I noticed? Susan’s face looks the most natural when you can see the side-by-side comparison with Demi and Brooke. Demi and Brooke look like frozen, immovable sisters, the patron saints of Botox. Meanwhile, Susan looks so natural and unfrozen, it’s such a welcome relief. Bless her and her young, fey hipster boyfriend!

Since the LA premiere of Valentine’s Day had so much in the way of good and bad fashion, let’s take a look at the London premiere of the film. First of all, when I was looking at the photo grouping for the premiere, the above photo popped up first. Who are these girls? They’re a group somewhat famous in the UK called The Saturdays, and from the looks of it, I’d say they were like a more budget version of Pussycat Dolls? Does that sound right, English people? I have no idea, I’m just judging on them on their trashy fashion.

Now, on to the stars. Unfortunately, most of the “big” stars of Valentine’s Day didn’t make it London, so we don’t have to sit through another Jessica Biel overblown, over-dressed, over-done, trying too hard ball gown. Thank God. But we still get Demi Moore trying to pull focus away from her husband (who is actually in the film). Ashton looks like he’s freezing his balls off. And Demi looks like she no longer feels human temperatures. As for Demi’s dress… well, it’s not my taste, but she is working it well.

Jessica Alba has improved, sort of. I didn’t hate her look at the LA premiere, but I’m not in love with this one though. The boots ruin it for me. They’re insane.

Sigh… Emma Roberts. She’s a pretty little thing, and she looks a lot like her Aunt Julia. However, to me, she just doesn’t have that “spark” that most stars have. You know, that watchable quality, that special thing that many actors have where even if they’re not doing much, your eyes still follow them. Julia has it – but does her niece? Part of the problem might be that Emma looks like she borrowed something out of her grandma’s closet. Yes, she’s showing off her legs, but the top half of the dress is like “Nun-wear lite”.

I keep forgetting that Topher Grace is in this film. I’ve always really liked him, and I had high hopes that he would grow into a solid film actor. I’m kind of embarrassed for him that he’s in this film – I think he plays Anne Hathaway’s boyfriend or something. He’s so cute!

‘Valentine’s Day’ premiere in London, February 11, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Of course Demi Moore is never Photoshopped. Of course not. Why would we think that? How could we? Why are people so cruel? Why can’t we just acknowledge that Demi Moore grows a new face every year – NATURALLY, damn it. It is always Demi’s natural face and her natural body and her natural no-hip and her natural skin and she just photographs this way naturally! Anyone who doesn’t acknowledge it is just a jealous hater waiting to get sued by the almighty Demi.

So, anyway – here is Demi in the new ad for ‘Helena Rubenstein – Wanted’. That’s the perfume that Demi is the “face” of. God knows what kind of modeling contract it is, or how much it pays, but you’d think that if Helena Rubenstein is laying out the serious money for Demi, they’d want to actually use her real face. This sh-t isn’t just “Oh, someone got a little heavy-handed and made her skin look flawless and ridiculous.” This sh-t is like “Oh my God, who shaved Demi’s cheeks down and made her look like a cartoon?!?” This is some Jessica Rabbit looking stuff. But she’s never Photoshopped, and of course Demi really looks like that, right?

The behind-the-scenes commercial thing is crazy too – Demi looks… her age. Ridiculous!

‘Wanted’ ad courtesy of Dlisted and Photoshop Disasters.

Last month, photographer Anthony Citrano pointed out that Demi Moore’s December W cover was Photoshopped clumsily and that she looked like she was missing a chunk of her left hip. In response, Moore called the allegation “bullsh*t” on Twitter and posted what she claimed was the original, unretouched photo. W Magazine admitted that the photo had been altered but that it was “nothing out of the ordinary.” They later confirmed that “no one at the magazine did any retouching of the image of Demi Moore that was sent to us [by the photographers].” The photographers, Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott said there was “absolutely no retouching on her hips, waist or legs.” That might be partially honest – it looks like Demi’s head was just pasted on to a 26 year-old model’s body. In that case, they didn’t retouch Demi’s body, they retouched model Anja Rubik’s body with Demi’s head pasted on it. (See image below.)

Fast forward to a month later, and Demi’s lawyer has sent a threatening letter to Citrano (link leads to PDF file) telling him that he must remove “all the false and defamatory statements about my client and the cover photo as well as any accompanying pictures of the W cover” and issue a “retraction and apology” or “be exposed to substantial liability.” In response, Citrano points out that there are subtle differences between even the photo Moore claims is the original and the resulting W cover. He says he’s not backing down and that it’s ridiculous to go after him for stating the obvious. It’s also pretty ripe that Demi Moore, who regularly Tweets about her personal life, including foreplay with her husband, would try to shut down one guy’s opinion on the Internet. Is her lawyer going to go after all the commenters on her “original” Twitpic who say it’s fake?

On Tuesday night, I received an aggressive and threatening letter from Martin Singer, Demi Moore’s attorney. It is marked “Confidential Legal Notice – Publication or Dissemination is Prohibited”. However, since Mr. Singer and I have no confidentiality agreement, and it provides essential context to the matter at hand, I have decided to publish it.

I’ll start by expressing how bizarre it feels to be immersed in a controversy that should be no controversy at all. The question of whether a celebrity was over-retouched is not one I am particularly proud of spending my mental cycles on.

When I originally pointed out (in a friendly, lighthearted way) a simple retouching blooper, I had no inkling of the total shitstorm that would follow. It gained momentum quickly, and I commented to several media outlets on the matter, always sure to frame it fairly: I have no problem with digital retouching (do it all the time), no problem with Demi Moore (she’s a beautiful woman), think the image is a great shot (kudos, Mert and Marcus) – I simply thought the missing hip-chunk was funny. I thought we could all laugh about it for the day (maybe tack it up on a retoucher’s wall of shame) and move on to the far more important things. We are all human; we all make mistakes (me, more than my fair share.)…

So I knew sitting idly by while my veracity was attacked was not an option, especially in light of the huge reach of Ms. Moore’s words and my sincere belief that I was right. So after sleeping on it, I put my money where my mouth was and offered $5,000 to a charity of her choosing if she proved it really was the original. Unsurprisingly, my offer fell on deaf ears. In the following weeks it quieted down, and I thought (and hoped) it was over – until I received Mr. Singer’s letter.

I spent several days considering how to respond. On one hand, I do not want a fight over something so pointless; but on the other, my personal reputation is under attack.

Mr. Singer: I did not insinuate that your client was untruthful or hypocritical. I did not imply or infer that the photo was manipulated at her behest. I simply said that the photo had very obvious signs of clumsy retouching, most particularly what appeared to me (and thousands of others) to be a missing chunk of hip.

And I absolutely stand by my statements.

I also have a very hard time understanding what is “defamatory” about describing an image as retouched. Digital retouching is an important part of modern publishing and photography workflow. I doubt a single image has graced a major magazine cover in the past decade without being altered in some way. Ms. Moore’s implication that her image went straight from camera to cover is incredible, whether she believes it or not. Simply put, this never happens.

[From ZigZagLens]

If you don’t like getting called out on the Internet, don’t go posting all your personal information online. This woman says she’s never had any plastic surgery whatsoever. Maybe her assertion is like the photographers claiming they didn’t retouch “her hips, waist or legs.” It all depends on what your definition of plastic surgery/retouching is.

Photo below thanks to PopCultureMadness

For f-ck’s sake. I’m starting to think Demi Moore is part of some conspiracy to make people care about Twitter and herself, in that order. So, here’s the latest bullsh-t controversy: yesterday, Demi posted a photo of herself with a giraffe on Twitter (photo above), taken while she was doing a photo shoot for Harper’s Bazaar. Apparently, after Demi posted the photo on Twitter’s Twitpics, a couple of douchey commenters began heckling her and calling her “old” and making fun of her neck or whatever. So she responded, on Twitter. And now the sh-t is being reported by Us Weekly. Gah!

Demi Moore has feelings, too.

On Wednesday, frequent Twitter-er Moore shared an outtake from a Tuesday photo shoot on a Santa Monica beach for Harper’s Bazaar. “Had the priviledge [sic] of working with a giraffe yesterday he was beautiful gentle and so amazing!” the 47 year-old actress wrote.

Immediately, Twitter followers chimed in with critiques: “sorrydemi that your self esteem is so low you can’t admit to a little Photoshopping,” one follower sniped, adding “And Ghost sucked.” (Retweeting the dig, Moore wrote “Thank you”).

A few hours later, another follower wrote, “sorry but you look old. specially your neck & cheecks at the second shot..”

This time, Moore posted a more pointed retort: “I’m 47 how am I supposed to look?”

In between the insults, the actress and wife to Ashton Kutcher received words of support. “WOW you look beautiful!!” wrote one fan.

A friend named “earthhealer” soothingly said, “never let those who try 2hurt U in..we all feel small sometimes Know UR fabulous loveable &Wanted!”

Moore has frequently denied that she’s resorted to plastic surgery to retain her youthful appearance. She also fought charges that, for a recent W magazine cover, editors Photoshopped her head on the body of a younger model with slimmer hips.

[From Us Weekly]

Look, I think Demi is crazy, I think she’s had a lot of work done, I think she’s a liar, and I think she’s delusional to think we won’t notice. That being said, the picture that she posted was rather beautiful, and I don’t get why anyone would heckle her for it. What makes it worse is that she responded and gave those losers the attention they wanted. And, of course, she got some attention herself. Which is what it’s all about.

If you are a cougar, or puma, perhaps the secret to keeping your younger man happy is to behave like a teenager yourself. It sure seems to be working out for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Their latest antics on Twitter are a combination of publicity stunts and goofy foreplay. Apparently both stars like writing messages on their hands and taking pictures of themselves…kinda like my 14-year-old kid and her little friends.

Here’s a glimpse into a night at the Kutcher-Moore household. From separate rooms in their shared LA home Thursday night, Ashton and Demi planned a dinner menu and a bedroom rendezvous by writing dialogue on their bodies and sending the pictures over Twitter. Demi’s teenage daughter Tallulah got pulled in right before things turned sexual.

Note the product placement. Both Demi and Ashton pose with a package of ‘Wanted’ perfume, Helena Rubinstein’s new fragrance that Demi is fronting. Demi previously called on fans to tweet pictures of what they wanted written on their hands. Most wishes were more along the lines of marriage equality, ending war and their children’s happiness than takeout food and sex.

Ashton once famously tweeted a picture of his wife’s panty-clad tush.

[From Huffington Post]

Is it weird that two people in the same house feel the need to communicate via Twitpics? It is to me, but then again I don’t live in a giant mansion. In my house, we can just yell across rooms to each other, “Hey, what do you want for dinner?” And foreplay usually involves candles, Luther Vandross’ Greatest Hits and some massage oil – not writing on my arm. So this is completely foreign to me. I don’t get these two, but hey – whatever they’re doing seems to work for them. They both always manage to look great, and somehow remain A-list celebrities in spite of the fact that neither of them has put out a decent film in ages. Seriously, the best thing Ashton has done lately are those stupid camera commercials, so if he can get people to keep following him on Twitter, good for him. Now, about those hats…

There was a lot of buzz over the fact that Demi Moore seemed to be missing a chunk of her thigh in her photo on the cover of W Magazine. Demi is a very thin woman, but her hip is probably not a few inches smaller than her thigh. In her defense, Moore posted a photo to Twitter that she claimed was the original, unretouched version used for W. It showed her hip pushed in like on the cover picture, and she wrote “Here is the original image people my hips were not touched don’t let these people bullshit you!” Moore also retweeted a response from a fan that said “its just the way u have ur hip kinda swung to one side..y can noone see this!?”

W Magazine admitted the image was altered but said it was “nothing out of the ordinary.” The photographer that shot Demi for W who first spotted the flub says that of course the photo is retouched, and calls it a “blooper” that belongs on the “art department wall of shame.” Photographer Anthony Citrano was kind enough to e-mail us with his comments and says that he’ll donate $5,000 to the charity of Demi’s choice if she can prove that the photo she posted is the original.

I saw your article on the Demi Moore photoshop flub – I’m the photographer who started the whole thing – and after giving it a lot of thought (and being accused of “bullshit” by Demi overnight), I’m raising the stakes: http://twitter.com/acitrano/status/5894990728

While I really feel bad that Demi is on defense over this, I also don’t like being accused of “bullshit.” So, let’s find out who’s bullshitting. This isn’t about her and it isn’t about retouching (I’ve no problem with either). It’s about a blooper, basically. The cover is a blooper; it goes on the art department’s wall of shame. So what? We
all make mistakes. That’s got *nothing* to do with Demi. She’s a beautiful woman with or without retouching. And where the hell is W Magazine on this? Why are they forcing Demi to address it? It’s not fair to her.

[From Anthony Citrano, received via e-mail]

In a follow-up e-mail, Citrano explained “I have no problem with Demi nor with Photoshopping – but I don’t like her accusation of ‘bullshit’ toward me, and then posting what she claims is the original as if it’s some kind of ‘proof’ – while most of her bazillion twitter fans take it as gospel.” Demi probably isn’t missing a piece of her thigh, then. Even if her thigh was somehow pushed in by the way she was standing to the side, it’s not like that’s her everyday face, and her body looks unnaturally thin. So why is she so defensive about the photo? Why doesn’t she just admit she was retouched and be done with it? It’s not like all the other celebrity cover photos aren’t airbrushed into oblivion. This must be a sore spot for Demi, and seems to tie in with all the times she’s denied any kind of plastic surgery. Demi is so naturally beautiful even her cover photos are all natural!

Update: Anthony Citrano is not the photographer who shot Demi for W, but his photos have run in W and he is the one who first noticed the blatant Photoshopping.

It appears as if Moore’s entire body may have been replaced. Popculturemadness points out that Demi’s body looks like it was replaced with a supermodel in that same dress and exact same pose on the catwalk. (Thanks taya for the tip!)