The doomed daughters of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen, ages 4 and 3, are currently in therapy, according to In Touch magazine. After years of seeing their parents hate on each other, and a bitter post-divorce war of words that doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon, these little girls have no doubt been bearing the brunt of their parents’ inability to get along.

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen may be involved in a messy public custody battle, but they’re trying to make sure their children, Sam, 4, and Lola, 3, stay as unaffected as possible. “My kids are in therapy,” Denise exclusively reveals to In Touch. “It’s very sad that they need to be there, but they do for now. On the other hand, it’s good they have an outlet to deal with their feelings and someone who is just their advocate.” Denise, 37, hopes her admission helps other parents. “If I can help anyone feel better about their kids being in therapy — then something else good has come of this, too,” she says. On June 19, Denise took Sam and Lola to their therapy session in LA. “Denise is doing the smart thing for her children,” an insider tells In Touch. Charlie, 42, treated the girls to a spa day in March.

[From In Touch Weekly]

I just wish Denise and Charlie weren’t able to choose which therapist these girls see, nor should they be able to find out what the girls say about them in the sessions. I can just imagine Denise leaking tapes of little Sam and Lola talking about their dad to the media. And if Charlie doesn’t want the kids vaccinated, I can’t imagine how he feels about them going to therapy. Hopefully, this therapist has the girls’ best interests at heart and helps them learn how to cope with having two nutjobs for parents. They need all the help they can get.

Denise Richards, her father and two girls are shown at “Time for Heroes celebrity carnival to benefit The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatic Aids Foundation” on 6/8/08, thanks to WENN.

When I read a story about Charlie Sheen apologizing for a three year old voicemail that his ex Denise Richards just released, my first thoughts were “What voicemail rant?” and “Where can I hear it?” Charlie made a reference in his apology to his best man at both of his weddings, an African American guy, so I assumed that the voicemail had the “n” word in it. Evil Beet has a transcript and he uses the word once as an insult to his ex Denise.

Here’s the voicemail transcript:

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Message Received at 1:00pm

Yea, I just got your other email and I am a little confused because you told me that was something you only told a couple of people, and this and that, and I just, again you continue to be deceitful and mischievous and sneaky, and you’re a fucking liar. Okay. You’re a fucking liar. So, you know what it’s like, fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You’re a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You’re a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright, so fuck you.

[From Evil Beet]
US Weekly has his apology, which reads, “I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings. Three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis… my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation.”

I used to be team Charlie, but now I just wish the two of them would fade into obscurity. I’ve honestly never heard anyone use the “N” word as an insult in person, and it seems outrageous to me that someone would spew it out that way. It’s obnoxious and Charlie should be ashamed. It sounds like he is, though, and all of this happened three years ago in the heat of their divorce and was not meant to be public.

This voicemail never should have been released, but Denise has an endless hole in her psyche that she tries to fill by trash talking Charlie whenever she gets a chance. She just ends up making herself look desperate and needy, and she’s squandered any good will she gained by initially claiming her husband was addicted to porn and was verbally abusive to her. If she would have left it at that she might have been able to step aside and remain the triumphant party. Instead, she seems like a liar and an attention whore to a degree that probably trumps an addiction to prostitutes and the use of a racist term as an insult.

Charlie and Denise are shown in their brief happier times on 3/15/02, thanks to WENN.

Charlie Seen recently vowed never to let Denise Richard’s name cross his lips again. I assume he’s referring to her as something like ‘That bitch formerly known as’ or something, because they are still fighting. At least for once it is about something with some meaning, as opposed to squabbling about his sperm.

Our spies tell us Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen are at loggerheads over whether to vaccinate their kids.

Charlie is convinced vaccinations are poison. We’re told they are now at a stalemate and may end up in court. Pretty ironic and Hollywood, that a judge may have to decide whether to make the kids cry.

Apparently, the doctor for the kids has been siding with Denise. We got hold of a threatening letter Charlie’s lawyer sent to the pediatrician last month, advising him Sheen did not consent to any treatment and promising legal retribution if he doesn’t listen.

TMZ

In the letter, [here’s the PDF file], the doctor says he would never turn away a sick child, but Charlie (through his lawyer) insists that the children must not be given any treatment from this physician.

If Charlie and Denise were on good terms, or even capable of reasoning, they might come to an agreement. For example, they might decide to stagger the shots. I’m a little surprised that the decision about immunizations wasn’t made long ago, considering Sam is 3 and Lola is 2. I wonder if they did in fact agree to skip the shots, but Denise has now changed her mind to mess with Charlie Sheen.

She has also been ordered to split the legal costs of their custody fight with Charlie Sheen. I feel sorry for the judge in this case, it must have been hard to work out who had the most crazy. Unfortunately for Charlie and Denise, when you have kids together, you’re stuck together for life. Try and get along.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Denise Richards, her daughters and her father are shown at Denise Richards and family “Time for Heroes celebrity carnival to benefit The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatic Aids Foundation” on 6/8/08, thanks to WENN. Have you ever seen either of those girls smile for a picture? They always look miserable.

Charlie Sheen and his new bride, Brooke Mueller, have a revealing interview in this week’s OK! Magazine to accompany the photos from their wedding. Some of the highlights include the predictably extensive comments about Charlie’s ex, Denise Richards, in which he says he’s not going to say her name, but he still manages to talk about her a lot. They also say they’re trying for a baby right away, but that Brooke isn’t pregnant.

Charlie touts the fact that he got his wedding suit from low-cost chain Men’s Warehouse, which has suits from around $200 to $600, because he’s had problems with designer suits falling apart and he loves their commercials. The bride wore a Reem Acra gown and a headdress made from twigs and woven white wildflowers, in keeping with the ceremony and reception’s “nature” theme. Her engagement ring is a whopping 11.64 carats, but she says she’s only going to wear her wedding band out. There were 68 guests at the non-denominational ceremony including Charlie’s parent’s his three brothers, his co-stars, Jon Cryer and Holland Taylor, and their friends Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart.

Charlie, why did you go to Men’s Wearhouse for your wedding suit?
I like their commercials a lot! I got tired of $3,000 suits falling apart in the middle of certain events. I didn’t wear a tux because they’re hot and they don’t breath.

Are you planning to start trying to have a baby right away.
Charlie: That’s the plan.
Brooke: There’s a rumor I’m pregnant, and I’m not.

How difficult was it hearing the comments your ex-wife Denise Richards made in the media on the eve of your wedding?
I’m so tired of talking about her and all her shenanigans. It is what it is. I don’t even care anymore. I’m going to take a stand to basically never utter her name publicly again, and I think if that’s known, it will put an end to some of this drama.

Have you watched her E! reality show?
No, and I won’t.

How do you both stay centered amid the craziness?
Brooke: The injustice of it makes me crazy, and it’s hard to handle. But Charlie’s a pro. He’s an amazing father, and to hear what she is saying is so difficult. I want to protecthim.
Charlie: I think it’s not accident that whatsherface chose this time to do what she did. It’s pretty obvious that Brooke and I, through our actions and union, are moving on with our lives. Perhaps somebody else should consider the same.

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, June 16, 2008]

Brooke and Charlie are probably obligated to talk about Denise by whatever large sum they received from OK! for exclusive rights to their wedding photos. You can’t help but think that fighting that harpie together helped unite them in a common cause and brought them closer together. Even though they say they’re moving on, you can definitely sense some triumph in their decision to get married and show a united front.

This week’s National Enquirer reports a sad rumor that Brooke suffered a miscarriage 10 weeks into a pregnancy just a week before their wedding. I hope that’s not true. They also say that Charlie wore a “black Pronto Uomo suit.” The most expensive Pronto Uomo suit on Men’s Wearhouse.com costs $500. It’s possible that Sheen was paid for an endorsement, but it sounds pretty genuine considering that he says he loves the commercials.

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are shown at the Chrysalis Butterfly Ball on 5/31/08, thanks to WENN.

Three and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen will marry his third wife, Brooke Mueller, in a ceremony at a secret location in LA tonight. The couple is keeping the location of their wedding ceremony and reception quiet in order to ensure that Charlie’s ex wife, Denise Richards, doesn’t show up or try to film it for her new E! reality show. Charlie and Denise have had a protracted custody battle along with a war of the words in the press.

The NY Daily News reports that Charlie and Brooke have been trying to have a child, and that it’s possible she’s already pregnant:

As her ex Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller prepare to walk down the aisle Friday night, friends of the bride-to-be tell us she may already be pregnant.

“They’ve been busy working on having a baby,” confides a pal. “They have been for a couple of months. It’d be great if they had a son, because Charlie already has three daughters.”

The “Two and a Half Men” star, 42, has a daughter, Cassandra, 23, by Paula Profit, and had Sam, 4, and Lola Rose, 3, with Richards.

Asked if they were trying to start a family, Sheen’s rep Stan Rosenfield told us: “That’s often what people do when they get married.”

The 60 or so people invited to the nuptials know only to wear evening attire and wait for a car to whisk them to a secret location in L.A.

“They had to tell Denise when it was, because they wanted the girls to come, but she doesn’t know where it’ll be,” says the source. “Who knows? She may even crash the event with a camera crew.”

[From The NY Daily News]

As for the he-said she-said with the “sperm donor” e-mail, in which Richards supposedly asked Sheen for some of the stuff to conceive another child after their split, the News claims to have a source who says that a computer expert verified that the e-mails were not doctored and that they came from Richard’s computer.

Good luck Charlie Sheen and new wife. And please don’t let us know the details if you ever get a divorce.

I’ve gotta say, at this point I think both Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards should be banished to some remote, uninhabitable island. They clearly cannot behave like even barely-sane people. The way they talk about each other really should be some sort of crime. If nothing else, they should be horribly, horribly embarrassed by their behavior. Sadly, it seems that’s not the case.

Denise has been doing a ton of press this last week for her upcoming (and crappily reviewed) reality show, Denise Richards: It’s Complicated. Not surprisingly, that’s turned out to be a really bad idea. Because whenever she so much as utters the name Charlie Sheen, he feels the need to respond. And the same goes for Denise. And they end up locked in this ridiculous game of one-upmanship that would make Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump blush with embarrassment.

Earlier this week Richards accused Sheen of faking the infamous sperm donor email, after which Charlie Sheen’s friends told the New York Post that Richards was essentially a money grubbing loser.

Yesterday Denise responded by claiming Charlie sent her text messages in which he said he hoped she and her father got cancer and died like her mother.

“For him to slam me saying I’m exploiting the kids, well, he’s exploited our entire situation,” Richards fumed to us yesterday. She claims Sheen obsessively sends her rage-filled text messages.

Click to see Richards reading her favorite newspaper.

“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam’s school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold,” Richards said. “His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.

“He missed Dad’s day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?”

[From the New York Post]

For a minute there, you’re thinking to yourself, “Wow, he’s really terrible, Denise must be classier than Charlie.” But then she finishes her interview with the Post by bringing up the sperm donor emails again.

Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: “I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”

[From the New York Post]

Hey Denise – I can tell just by looking at your easily confused face that you’re not the brightest bulb in the box. So I’m going to point two things out to you. Number one: saying stuff like that about your ex-husband makes you look even less classy than he does. So really, you two are engaged in a battle of one-downmanship at this point.

Number two: that “tranny-infested sperm” is what created your two beautiful kids. So if nothing else, you used to want it. And someday when your daughters learn how to look stuff up on the internet, they’re probably going to run across that comment. And if they’re even just a little smarter than you, they’re going to realize that their mom just said that they were created from tranny-infested parts.

I think those poor girls are probably going to have a lot of psychological issues, simply because they’re Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards’ kids, and they always seem so glum. It’s probably a good idea to remember that when Denise insults her ex-husband, she’s also insulting her children’s father. And the same goes for Charlie.

Here’s Denise Richards leaving her Manhattan hotel and posing with sailors for Fleet Week yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

If I could be start life again and choose who I would be born as, I would be Mark A. Perigard. Who? The brilliant reviewer for the Boston Herald, who started off his review of Denise Richards’ new reality show Denise Richards: It’s Complicated with the following: “Denise Richards’ life is one steaming pile of pig poop.”

While he goes on to explain a little more – turns out pig poop really does play a central role in Richards’ life – the metaphor sticks. And when you reflect on all the negative press Richards and ex-husband Charlie Sheen have been engaging in towards each other over the last few weeks, you realize that her life really is pig poop, and nothing more. Man I love feeling superior.

In the debut of her allegedly unscripted series “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated” the actress, ex-wife of Charlie Sheen and tabloid mainstay heads up a household stuffed with humans and animals. It’s hard to tell who matters more. In the opener, her pet pigs win out.

Two pigs mount each other in a soft glow as Muzak plays. Is this humorous? Animal Planet would show more discretion. Producer Ryan Seacrest (“American Idol”) seems to have lost his grip halfway through the episode. I for one cannot scrub the image out of my head of one of her dogs eating pig poo. Thank you, Seacrest.

In the human side of this heroic life, Richards is trolling for a new man. It’s hard finding one who can (ewww) measure up to her standards. “Everyone says I need to date a normal guy. What is normal, anyway? For me, normal is a famous actor or a rock star. That’s normal,” she says.

She reluctantly agrees to a blind date, but the man inadvertently trips her gaydar. Sheen went public with complaints that Richards was using their toddlers in the series to rehab her image. The kids are cute, but they’re like everything else here - part of the wallpaper of Richards’ ditzy life.

[From the Boston Herald]

Charlie Sheen infamously called Denise Richards a “sad, jobless pig” in an email last fall. I guess she decided to roll with it. Apparently we’re supposed to see Denise as this “complicated” woman who’s beautiful but will still scoop the pig poo when she needs to. Something tells me it won’t work.

Sheen’s argument that Richards is using their daughters Sam and Lola has some validity. I’ve never seen one single picture of their kids when they don’t look absolutely miserable – especially when they’re with Denise. Seriously, regular kids learn to smile for the camera. Yet the little daughters of two “famous” celebrities can’t muster it.

It’s actually really sad to look at their faces. I’m wondering if the show will manage to edit enough to make it seem like Sam and Lola are actually happy, or if we’ll be subjected to a half hour’s proof that these kids in are in for a lifetime of suckitude.

Here’s a clip from Denise’s show. Thanks to Redlasso. Header of Denise leaving Fox Studios in Manhattan after promoting her show yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Denise Richards was on Larry King yesterday, and in case you’re wondering how a washup-up actress who’s launching a reality show is scoring an interview on Larry King, Larry mentioned his “friend” Ryan Seacrest, who is producing the show, at the beginning of the interview. (Seacrest is rumored to be replacing King when the talk show host inevitably retires.)

Richards went over the same old tired ground she always treads: her friendship with Heather Locklear was over before she was with Richie Sambora; Heather and Richie had split before she started dating him; her ex husband Charlie Sheen is spreading lies about her, etc.

People Magazine is reporting that Richards told Matt Lauer on The Today Show, that the e-mail she sent to Charlie Sheen’s girlfriend, Brooke Mueller, reportedly asking for Charlie’s sperm to have another child with him was doctored and that’s not what she wrote. Mueller and Sheen claim that Richards was trying to reconcile with Sheen and was rejected, but now she’s saying that e-mail was changed to make it out to be something it wasn’t. This is the same thing she said on Larry King Live, but she didn’t sound convincing at all to me. King had to press her to get her to answer the question, and she did it in a roundabout way:

KING: Our guest is Denise Richards. Her new reality show, “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated,” premiers on E on May 26th. I want to further clarify something. Someone said that there’s supposed to be an e-mail about sperm and you and what is it?

RICHARDS: You know what? Like I said, every chance that Charlie tries to discredit me or say negative things about me in the press, he does. And the fact of the matter is I have no desire to have another child with Charlie. Nothing against his sperm. I have two beautiful kids but I don’t want anymore of it.

KING: There’s no e-mail that exists –

RICHARDS: No truthful e-mail that exists.

KING: Is this supposed to be an e-mail from you to him?

RICHARDS: There’s supposed to be an e-mail from me to his girlfriend.

KING: Saying?

RICHARDS: Saying that I want his sperm and wanted to get back together, which — the date of that e-mail, I was with Richie. So if I wanted anyone’s sperm, it would have been Richie’s sperm, not Charlie’s.

KING: I — so this is a phony e-mail, you think?

RICHARDS: This is a doctored e-mail.

KING: Doctored e-mail?

RICHARDS: Yes.

[From Transcripts.CNN.com]

She doesn’t deny it right away, she says they’re trying to smear her, she was with Richie Sambora based on the “date of the e-mail.” If she didn’t send it, why didn’t she say straight away “they faked that e-mail and changed what I wrote.” She skirts around it instead and only says the e-mail is doctored once King prompts her.

And today she told Matt Lauer flat out that the e-mail was doctored. It sounds to me like she’s trying to get her story straight:

“That e-mail is not legitimate,” Richards, 37, told interviewer Matt Lauer. “It’s a doctored e-mail. I would never send an e-mail to his … girlfriend, and, at the time of that e-mail, I was with Richie [Sambora]. If I wanted anybody’s sperm, I’d have asked for Richie’s.”

[From People.com]

Again, she’s relying on the date of the e-mail and saying she was with Richie so why would she say that? It just sounds fishy.

As for Sambora, Richards told Larry King that “Richie and I are still friends. We will always be friends,” but she said she doesn’t communicate with Charlie and “I do not know this person. And I have children with him.”

On Sambora’s DUI, Richards said “He made a mistake. He feels terrible about it. And the irony is he’s — with the whole child endangerment, he’s an amazing father. And he’s stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for his mistake.”

Ironic how she defends a guy she dated for less than a year for getting a DUI with his daughter in the car but attacks the husband and father of her two children every chance she gets. Sheen isn’t an innocent party in all this, but the more Richards talks the better he looks.

Header image is of Denise in Rockefeller center today, thanks to Splash News. Here’s the video of her on The Today Show and links to clips from her Larry King interview. Thanks to People Magazine and Rowdy on Redlasso for the videos:

Denise Richards on Larry King - Larry asks Denise about Heather Locklear

Denise Richards on Larry King - Why she’s doing the reality show

Denise Richards on Larry King - Putting her daughters in the show

Denise Richards on Larry King - Denise reacts to Charlie’s criticism

Denise Richards on Larry King - Denise talks about Richie Sambora’s DUI and drinking

Denise Richards on Larry King - Denise talks about why it didn’t work with Richie

Denise Richards on Larry King - Denise explains the Heather/Richie thing

The battle between Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen wages on, with Sheen’s fiancée throwing her own opinion into the ring. Richards has recently decided to star in her own reality show for E!. It’s being produced by Ryan Seacrest, who assures audiences that Denise is utterly fascinating, if you can believe it. What, you can’t? Craziness. Richards comes across to most as an unbeatable combination of vapid and crazy. Just how the men like it, right? Though Charlie isn’t taking home any Einstein of the Year awards, it appears that he may legitimately be the less crazy of the pair – though there’s so much drama between the two that it’s hard to tell what’s what. Last month, Denise went to court to allow her to show her two young daughters Sam, 3, and Lola, 2, in her upcoming show. Charlie wouldn’t give permission, which is why she had to take the issue before a judge. Denise won, and now her two little daughters will have (what one can only assume is) the chaos of their everyday lives shown for all the world to see. Charlie’s fiancée, Brooke Mueller, told Us Weekly exactly what she thinks about the situation.

Charlie Sheen and his fiancee Brooke Mueller won’t be watching Denise Richards’ upcoming E! reality show.

“Charlie and I both think it’s exploitative and not good,” Mueller, 29, told Usmagazine.com at an Elle magazine gifting suite in L.A. yesterday. “But the judge ruled in her favor so there’s nothing we can do.”

(Sheen lost a January court battle to prevent their children, Sam, 3, and Lola, 2, from appearing on the show. Richards has assured Us, “I’m going to be respectful about how they’ll appear.”)

After making her comments, Mueller then asked an Us reporter to replay them on a tape recorder.

“Right that’s perfect,” she said, adding, “because what I really want to say …. Oooh!”

[From Us Magazine]

Somehow I just don’t trust Denise Richards. But I also don’t trust Charlie Sheen. It’s nearly impossible to pick the lesser of two evils here. It’s funny that Us chose to include that last portion about Mueller asking to hear her comments played back. I wonder if she said that because her comments were staged, or because she was afraid she’d be misquoted, or if she just wanted to hear how she sounded. It was a very odd thing to say, and makes me question her intent. Denise was videotaped by TMZ yesterday as she was leaving a grocery store. The cameraman asked her if Charlie would be on her show, to which she replied, “That’ll be a cold day in hell.” Something tells me relations won’t be thawing between these two for quite some time.

Here’s Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen at Planet Hollywood on November 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora on a Hawaiian vacation in January, 2007
Denise Richards has a reality show on E! to promote, so she’s not above talking about Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear again even though her relationship with Sambora ended a year ago. Some people thought she was behind her neighbor and supposed friend Heather Locklear’s breakup with her husband of 11 years, Richie Sambora, about two years ago. Richards started dating Sambora shortly after his relationship with Locklear ended and it all looked a bit suspicious to the outside world. Richards said at the time that she wasn’t really best friends with Heather Locklear, and now she digging up that old dirt again to say that her friendship with Locklear had ended before she bedded Locklear’s husband, and that Locklear and Sambora were over by then too. Richards tried to set us straight about the love triangle no one remembers or even really cared about at the time in an exclusive interview with Access Hollywood.

Honestly I knew that that situation was not going to go over very well and was going to be in the press. I had no idea that it would blow up the way it did. The truth of the matter is that my friendship with Heather ended before Richie and I even started dating and that’s one thing that people, I don’t know if they knew or not. I never had an affair. I never cheated on Charlie. Richie never cheated on Heather, and if I was still friends with Heather I never would have

[Transcribed from video of Richards’ appearance on Access Hollywood, shown above via Redlasso]

JayBird reported last week about how Richards said that she initially “was going to take the high road” and not respond to all the negative reports in the press about her, but now that two years have passed she thinks it’s time for a reality show so that people can judge for themselves. She won a court battle with her ex husband, Charlie Sheen, to have their two young daughters appear on the show. Even though we know Sheen loves hookers and porn, and probably e-mails pictures of his peen to women, he’s coming off as the more mature and trustworthy party in their divorce and custody battle.

Now we can look forward to clips of Richards everyday life, spliced and packaged and available in bite-sized bits for our Internet viewing pleasure. If there’s anything that will make her look bad, it’s reality TV. She’s sounding super naive when she says that she thinks it will give her a chance to show people what she’s really like. She’s going to become a caricature so that the show has a cohesive story line. Maybe she’ll just be portrayed as a bland ditz, though, and not a crazy conniving one to boot.

Here’s the video of Richards on Access Hollywood:

Header image is of Denise and Richie’s Hawaiian vacation in January, 2007 and is from SplashNews. It is thought that he broke it off with her during that vacation.