Tom Cruise was surprisingly low-key at the London premiere of Rock of Ages held in Leicester Square yesterday. This is very strange and a sudden departure from his recent display of mania at the LA premiere. I’m almost tempted to believe that it’s like some studio executive said, “Hey short stuff, tone it down. It’s starting to feel all 2005 up in here.” So Tom responded, “Oh yes, I am supposed to be a serious rock star. Thank you for the reminder. Now look at my sexy lifts.” Speaking of Tom’s shoes, he couldn’t really show them off to maximum effect on the black carpet in Los Angeles just a few days ago, but now it’s like he wants you to look at them, right? Just admit it. You can’t stop looking at the lifts.

Indeed, Subdued Tom was very subdued for this London event. How sad.

Julianne Hough wore a little black dress with poufy white sleeves by Valentino. I think the sheer sleeves really ruin the potential of this otherwise simple dress, and she could have “rocked” (ugh) the plunging neckline without such distracting, kleenex-like entities roosting on her shoulders. Julianne’s hair and makeup are also throwing me for a loop, and I think she’d look better with more dramatic makeup for this event.

Malin Ackerman chose an ice-capadey, nude-colored dress with gold leaf embellishments for her premiere look. Obviously, this is a Marchesa creation that is less of a monstrosity than some of their other dresses, but still not a flattering look on anyone. Malin’s hair and makeup here remind me a lot of Kate Bosworth.

Russell Brand was his usual eccentrically dressed self on the yellow carpet. Look, the scarves are back! I so missed those bloody scarves.

Paul Giamatti is totally standing there thinking, “What the f–k am I doing in this movie, anyway?”

Diego Bonita was probably the best-dressed dude in attendance, right? He’s so, so pretty. At least he’s got that going for him.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

The Los Angeles premiere of Rock of Ages took place at Grauman’s Chinese theater on Friday night, which is a strange time to hold a premiere because it’s not a great time to maximize the resulting press coverage. Hence the fact that this post is arriving on Sunday instead of the morning after the fact, but there will likely be a New York premiere as well next week to look forward to as well.

Tom Cruise walked the red carpet without wife Katie Holmes on his arm. Seems strange, right? Maybe she really is upset by his sexy W mag, implied beej photoshoot, or maybe they’re still at odds over her betrayal at his broken promises. Nahhh, let’s be perfectly frank and just assume that the Katiebot is lounging on a recharger somewhere, and she’ll probably surface (at the very least) for the NYC premiere. Because I refuse to believe that Katie isn’t required to support Tom for his big serious rock star moment.

As for Tom, he’s freaking me out here as usual, but he seems pretty amped up in comparison to the recent MI4 promotional tour. To be perfectly honest, Tom’s smile on the red carpet looked really manic. While he wasn’t quite to the level of his full-on crazy 2005 self, he came pretty close.

Tom also posed with Bret Michaels of Poison as well. I know Bret has already publicly taken credit for Tom’s take on the Stacee Jaxx character, but I think Tom’s Stacee is truly a hybrid of many different hair band rockers. Plus there’s that monkey (Hey Man) sidekick too.

Justin Theroux was there all by his lonesome as well. While it’s true that he and Jennifer Aniston usually walk the red carpet separately, they usually at least attend each other’s events. That doesn’t seem to be the case any longer, for Justin didn’t accompany Jen to last week’s MTV Movie Awards where she (drunkenly?) accepted her “Dirtbag” award, and now she’s absent at the premiere for a big budget musical for which he wrote the screenplay. Strange. Anyway, Kaiser wanted me to mention that Justin’s “metrosexual, tweaked, tanned and plucked look has definitely been toned down” at this event in comparison to the Wanderlust premiere. Justin looks good here, and I like that thing he does with his eyebrows.

Russell Brand was his usual weird self on the red carpet. I love that he always just dresses like himself regardless of the venue. Whether he’s testifying in front of Parliament or hitting the yoga studio, his look is always pure Rusty.

Alec Baldwin was in attendance with Hilaria Thomas, who wore a really cool skirt.

Gene Simmons did something strange to Eli Roth in front of the cameras. This tongue gesture means nothing, right? Just two nice Jewish boys spending Shabbat together. Or something like that.

Diego Bonita: I know I’ve said this before … but I still don’t get it.

Derek Hough and his very prominent bulge were also in attendance. For some reason, I find this guy pretty hot.

Director Adam Shankman was there dressed in all white. He should count his blessings that Tom didn’t do to him what he did to Steven Spielberg on the red carpet.

Ryan Seacrest was there to support girlfriend Julianne Hough! Or maybe he just went with Derek Hough. Whatever the case, if Ryan showed up, then Katie and Jennifer could have bothered as well. Slackers.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN, and Pacific Coast News

Tom Cruise is at it again (that is, grossing me out) in some new Rock of Ages stills from Collider. Sure, I’ll admit to being rather unkind towards Tom as he rocked out in two awful trailers, and things have gotten particularly ugly with the arrival of Tom’s tattooed W mag cover and embarrassing full shoot. To reiterate, I’m not terribly crazy about Tom as a person (it’s a Xenu thing), but I legitimately take great issue with the fact that he’s playing Stacee Jaxx in a very unironic manner, which is not how the character is portrayed in the Broadway show.

Tom himself has even bragged about reinventing the Stacee role as a serious rock star and insisting that his version of the character be accompanied by a monkey called “Hey Man.” In fact, Tom is so bloody serious about this role that he prepared for the role by dancing and singing ten hours per day, and (last summer) he even took advantage of some down time to rock out on a hotel balcony to universal cringes. So am I overreacting a bit to Tom’s overzealous nature in this role? Well just wait until he ruins A Star is Born as well. Here are those aforementioned new Rock of Ages stills. In this one, poor Paul Giamatti is being forced to feel up Tom’s rock star moobs.

In some of the other stills, Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand are camping it up as the proprietors of the club where Stacee Jaxx performs. Clearly, Baldwin and Brand understand the cheese factor involved with this movie. Too bad they couldn’t both teach Tom a few things, but nobody teaches Tom anything. That’s the main problem I see with this film thus far — director Adam Shankman was just so thrilled to have Tom Cruise in his little movie that he neglected to give his lead actor some, you know, direction.

Julianne Hough is digging the hairspray in this movie. Nice attention to detail with the rusty sinks. She’s still not a leading lady though.

Diego Bonita: I still don’t get it.

Catherine Zeta-Jones appears to be truly embracing her role as an anti-rock ‘n’ roll activist. I would hope that she’s merely collecting a paycheck here and didn’t sign on for the “art” factor.

Images courtesy of Collider

It seems like forever since Tom Cruise was announced to play Stacee Jaxx in the movie adaptation of Broadway’s Rock of Ages, and at this point, I’m just ready to get this painful mess over with when the movie releases on June 15. Of course, we’ve already had to endure Tom rocking out on a balcony to universal cringes because he (presumably) felt the world deserved a preview of the fruits of his 10 hour per day song and dance regime. This is not to say that witnessing Tom as a rock star hasn’t been somewhat enjoyable, what with the rock-star lifts and the shirtless writhing from the movie’s first trailer. I’ll admit that the first one really was a campy and fun trailer to behold in a “so bad it’s kind of good” sort of way, but the second theatrical trailer has been released, and it’s just a mess. Check it out, and we’ll discuss:

This trailer really seems like no one bothered to seriously edit it beyond tossing a bunch of flashing lights and scenes together. Why did anyone feel that including anger-bear Alec Baldwin saying “omigod, I just threw up … in my pants” was a necessity? Beyond that, Julianne Hough is a cutie (on paper, this movie seems like the ideal role to showcase her talents), but try as I might, I just can’t warm up to Diego Bonita. Russell Brand’s hair looks even more ridiculous than usual, and Paul Giamatti and Catherine Zeta-Jones are clearly there for the paychecks. As for Tom belting out Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” … I’m feeling very underwhelmed. Tom should’ve added more cheese, but it seems like he’s taking the role quite seriously. No surprises there, right?

Photos courtesy of AllMoviePhoto and New Line Cinema

Honestly, this week of Tom Cruise international red carpet appearances for Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol has been a true pleasure to cover, but now something even better has happened. That is, the first Rock of Ages trailer has debuted, and it’s even more painfully amusing than I’d hoped it would be. This is why Tom practiced ten hours per day, folks. This is why he butched it up in well-heeled boots. And this is why he rocked out on a balcony to universal cringes. In a way, it was all worth it for Tom, who writhes shirtless onstage as the “legendary” Stacee Jaxx and spews out “sex, hateful music, and … sex.” Really:

Tom seems really uninspired by signing that chick’s rack at the end of the trailer, right? Method acting. As for the rest of this mess, it’s entirely horrific but the movie might find a small to moderate audience who doesn’t mind watching Paul Giamatti and (gasp) Catherine Zeta-Jones debase themselves. As for Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin, however, they’re totally playing versions of their own personas, and Diego Bonita and Julianne Hough sure are pretty.

Now for some more fun with Tom’s plastic surgery face, which some of you doubted in yesterday’s photos of the MI4 Madrid premiere. Indeed, Tom is aging well from a physical standpoint, but his “refreshed” face isn’t merely the product of clean living and lucky genetics. He’s definitely had some very subtle work done by a skilled, highly-paid surgeon. While Tom looks pretty natural in the below photo (from the London premiere of MI4), just hold on tight because sh-t is about to get real in the aftermath.

Now, if there was ever any doubt whether or not Tom’s ever had a facelift (or two or three), check out this picture that Kaiser sent to me (on a bit of a red alert) with a nudge-wink about the strange fold of skin behind Tom’s ear. Indeed, that’s pretty damning evidence of a facelift (or two or three) and undoubtedly the reason why Tom’s been favoring turtlenecks lately:

Doesn’t Tom look like an alien televangelist in these photos? I keep expecting bolts to start popping out of his skin like Xenu Frankenstein or something.

Finally, here are Tom’s special lifts for the brisk London evening. They’re a lot more subtle than usual, aren’t they? Then again, he didn’t really pose next to anyone else on the red carpet this time around. Good plan, Tom.

Photos courtesy of WENN and AllMoviePhoto

Here are some photos of Ryan Seacrest visiting his girlfriend, Julianne Hough, in Miami over the weekend. Julianne has a bigger part in Rock of Ages, which feels like it’s been filming for a really long time down in Miami. Would you like to hear something kind of funny? There have been lots of reports about how Ryan should be “worried” that his girlfriend might be fooling around on him with her costar, Diego Boneta. There have been lots of photos of Julianne and Diego (I’ve put some at the end of the post) off the set, where they seem to be hanging out quite a bit. Hm… is Julianne renegotiating her contract?

According to the Mail, Diego recently told reporters, “Julianne’s an amazing dancer, an amazing singer and an amazing person overall. I’m so lucky to be working with her but you know, she has an amazing boyfriend and I totally respect that. We are good friends.” There’s also talk that Diego is out with a different lady every night, and that he’s something of a swordsman, so I don’t know. It could totally be a case of Diego and Ryan being each other’s type.

What I do know? Ryan looks happy to get some face-time with his girlfriend. And she looks… I don’t even know. Julianne isn’t quite at Katie-Holmes-level robotics, but you can see it’s in her future. I tend to think Julianne is sticking with Ryan to see how far being “Dame Seacrest’s girlfriend” can take her career, but maybe she’ll choose “orgasms” for the long-term.

Photos courtesy of Fame and Pacific Coast News.