Just yesterday, I made a half-hearted attempt at joking about Gwyneth Paltrow’s obsession with colon cleansing. Yet I should’ve known that, to Goop, this is not merely a laughing matter, for a pristine colon is serious business. She is obsessed with her poop. In other words, the New Year’s edition of the Goop newsletter has kept with its annual tradition (this is the third year running, y’all) of insisting that her minions clean out their poopers. This time, she’s not merely suggesting a cleansing regimen for all of us to follow, but now she has branded the chosen cleanse with her Goop emblem:

The goop Cleanse

Next week, when it’s back to the grind with work and the daily school run, I’m starting off with Clean, my go-to cleanse from Dr. Alejandro Junger, with whom goop has partnered for the month of January. I’ve used Clean in the past with great results, losing a few pounds and kickstarting a healthier and more energetic New Year. This month, I’ll be doing it along with members of the goop team and we hope you will too. And, it goes without saying, but be sure to check with your doctor before getting started!

Love,
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Actually, this special deal isn’t really a “special” Goop cleanse after all. If you compare Goop’s version with the one usually offered on Dr. Junger’s site, it’s the same exact thing except for the Goop box on the outside. So for the same price — $425 — you get a three-week supply of herbs and the option of choosing either chocolate or vanilla-flavored protein shakes. Geez, for that price, shouldn’t there be at least a Crispy Carrot Ginger flavor? And maybe a Luxardo Maraschino variety for Goop subscribers?

The cleanse itself differs somewhat from the Master Cleanse that Goop has advocated in the past and for which Vanity Fair hired a poor freelance writer to follow and journal in gory detail. With this cleansing program, eating lunch (from a special list of Goop-approved foods) is actually allowed. Other than that, there’s a “Clean” shake for breakfast and dinner and a bunch of “powerful plant-based Clean supplements” for the in-between times. Basically, it’s a ripoff that promises “to kick start your metabolism” and give you a colon that’s just perfect and just like Gwyneth’s very own. Uh … pass?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, and Goop

Did you know that Kim Kardashian magazine covers sell? It’s true, the issues of Glamour and Cosmopolitan with Kim solo on the cover were the highest sellers last year for those publications. Her other many magazine covers had mixed performances, but her Botox face and spider lashes can move copies.

So here we have Kim on the cover of the US Weekly diet issue, showing off her bikini body. This was obviously achieved through the Photoshop diet. We’ve seen plenty of bikini candids of Kim and she looks good albeit totally fake, but she doesn’t look like this. Someone went way overboard with the ‘shop. I also doubt that this photo is at all recent.

In that Cosmo interview for their August issue, Kim claimed to be a size 4, which many people scoffed at. In the new issue of US she’s claiming to be a size 2. I get that she’s shorter at 5’2″, but a size 2? Why doesn’t she just go for the gold and claim to be a zero? Here’s her vague diet advice and some words from her trainer:

Steers clear of sugar
The onetime sweets lover has dropped refined sugar from her diet. “Changing my eating habits makes a big difference,” the E! star tells US of keeping her size-2 body trim. Her healthy menu? “I wake up and eat eggs with turkey bacon, then salad for lunch and fish, pasta or chicken for dinner.

Goes organic
The newly single 5-foot-2 star has been inspired by big sister Kourtney, 32. “She’s taught me to eat more organically,” admits Kardashian, who has also downed wheatgrass shots with her sis. “She’s a bit extreme, but slowly I’m learning to love it.”

Sweats it out – hard!
There are no water breaks during the 31 year-old’s hour-long sessions with Gunnar Peterson. “Every minute is accounted for,” says the trainer. “You go from running to pull-ups to lunges to crunches to overhead presses. You get more work done in the same time.”

[From US Weekly, print edition, January 9, 2012]

That’s their entire article on Kim and her “exact meal plan.” At least she’s no longer shilling for that shady diet company that Scott works for. And at least she’s not training with that scam artist Tracy Anderson. Plus her diet sounds sensible even though she doesn’t give much advice, and I like that she’s not advertising for some paid plan. (Which she probably would be if one would have her.) Other than that I don’t have anything nice to say. I hope that her reign at the newsstands will soon be over.

Kim in March, 2011:

December 16, 2011:

British “socialite” Peaches Geldof (daughter to Sir Bob) rarely does anything truly interesting, so she has to settle for making the news with chronic engagements, shoplifting scandals and allegedly having heroin and Xenu-fueled one-night stands to keep the British tabloids well entertained. It was all quite contrived but not terribly surprising coming from a celebuspawn. In recent months, however, Peaches has gone something relatively unexpected; that is, she dropped a bunch of weight, which automatically caused suspicions of drug use.

For most of her young adult life (and granted, it hasn’t been long because she’s only 22), Peaches seemed proud to sport a rather “healthy” figure. She wasn’t in great shape from a fitness standpoint, but she certainly wasn’t fat by any stretch. The girl didn’t starve herself and seemed to eat three square meals per day like any normal person would. So it seems strange that she’s suddenly gone on an anorexic kick, but if I had to put a finger on why her weight has suddenly become a major issue for her, it would be the existence of her relatively new fey boyfriend/fiance, Thomas Cohen, who looks to weigh all of 110 pounds himself. It’s probably pretty difficult to get undressed next to this guy and not feel like a whale no matter what:

At any rate, Peaches responded to weight loss criticism in the same way that any girl with an eating disorder would do. She claimed that her new figure was due a bout with avian flu, which was followed by a new habit of eating healthily. Also, she expressed a newfound appreciation for miso soup and would reportedly take an hour to eat just one bowl. However, it’s become clear from Peaches’ appearance at the recent Girl With the Dragon Tattoo premiere that the weight loss has gone too far. Now, Peaches has revealed to The Sun that she’s put herself on a strict liquid diet and doesn’t eat solids for up to a month at a time:

Skinny Peaches Geldof has been slammed for raving about a dangerous fad diet – eating no solid food for a month at a time.

The telly host has come under scrutiny recently for her extreme weight loss.

And she was snapped at the London premiere of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo on Monday night looking even more gaunt.

Now Sir Bob Geldof’s daughter has claimed that she starves herself for several weeks in order to look this thin.

It was feared that the OMG! With Peaches Geldof host’s new tiny frame may have been down to drug use after she was photographed in September with dark bruises close to veins on her left arm.

But Peaches – whose mum Paula Yates died of a heroin overdose in 2000 – has now claimed that her weight loss is down to a fad diet which consists of just liquefied vegetables.

Peaches has told how she can drop ten pounds on the dangerous slimming plan.

She said: “I do juicing. You juice vegetables and then you drink it three times a day. It’s gross. I do it usually for about a month. I have no willpower but with the juicing I’m like, ‘I have to do it because I have to lose this extra ten pounds.’

“I will lose it then I’m back going mental for the chips.

“I’ll juice and then I eat chips.”

Peaches was estimated to have lost one-and-a-half stone between March and July this year, slimming from 10st to just 8 1/2st.

But in August she reassured worried fans by tweeting: “To those telling me I look skinny and to eat something, I can assure you I’ve just cut out eating crap. I still eat like a horse.”

However, Peaches, who is often pictured in celebrity magazines, has now said that she felt pressured by fashion mags to be thin.

She said: “Sometimes it’s hard. If you open any high-fashion magazine, the girls in it are stick-thin and then they’ve been airbrushed down to the point where it’s just ludicrousness.

“I have days when I wake up and think, ‘I’m so fat.’ ”

Cath Collins, a spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association, said: “Peaches joins a long line of celebs who are braindead when it comes to nutrition. Surviving on fruit is a very dangerous diet. Peaches is at high risk of electrolyte abnormalities which could lead to acute cardiac arrest. Rapid dieting like this not only makes you lose muscle strength but wastes away your internal organs. It is what kills anorexics. It is a stupid approach and it is irresponsible to promote this sort of disordered eating. It’s worrying that somebody who has money and access to contacts would pick such a ridiculous way to diet.”

[From The Sun]

Can you imagine eating absolutely nothing an only subsisting upon liquified vegetables? Ugh. Talk about unsatisfying, and you know that Peaches isn’t bright enough to take on a liquid diet under the supervision of a nutritionist like a certain Victoria’s Secret model.

For comparison’s sake, here’s some photos of Peaches in May and August of 2010 while she was dating Eli Roth, who seemed to embrace Peaches’ figure in his very own way. However, her wardrobe choices during their relationship, including a bathmat dress, did her no favors:

Here are more photos of Peaches’ new slimline look over the past few months. While this new physique isn’t necessarily anything different that we see from Hollywood starlets, it’s certainly a red flag that Peaches has lost so much weight in such a short period of time and that she continues to want to lose more weight. She should stop dieting now and just concentrate on maintaining with exercise and a proper daily menu. Those liquid diets will kill her metabolism in the long run, and she’ll be heavier than when she started.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

A month ago, the rumors began – Jessica Simpson was already looking to profit from her post-pregnancy figure. This means that Jessica knows she’s going to gain a lot of weight during her pregnancy, and she’s already preparing to make a big deal about taking the weight off. Anyway, Jessica was already in negotiations with Weight Watchers, and now Page Six is reporting that a deal has been struck – $3 million for Jessica’s Weight Watchers endorsement! Good God.

Pregnant Jessica Simpson has just inked an estimated $3 million deal with Weight Watchers, Page Six can reveal. Sources tell us the blond star has been fielding offers from a number of weight-loss programs.

One source said, “The deal is in place, and after having her baby, she’ll start with Weight Watchers to lose her baby weight.” Simpson has another reason to get in shape fast — she hopes to wed her fiancé, Eric Johnson, soon after she gives birth.

[From Page Six]

On one side, I think it’s a good idea for Jessica to get ahead of what I’m sure will be endless tabloid stories about her weight, like always. On the other side, it’s very funny to me. Earlier this year, Jessica was all about training with Tracy Anderson, she of the chipmunk-cheeked eating disorders, 800-calorie diets and three-hour daily workouts. Jessica seemed to get more toned working with Tracy, but Jessica didn’t really change her diet of “lots of liquor, desserts, fried food, etc” so the weight loss obviously didn’t stick. It will be interesting to see Jessica do Weight Watchers, and I’ll find it hilarious if and when she can’t stick to it.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

I’ve never wasted much thought on Nicky Hilton, who seems to make a life out of following Paris and their mother around for paparazzi-filled dinners as well as laughing at Paris’ obnoxious jokes. Although I will admit that it was rather amusing when Nicky dissed Chloe Sevigny’s horrific clothing line. Other than that and compared to her sister, Nicky stays pretty lowkey and quietly dated David Katzenberg for about four years until they split about four months ago. Since then, Nicky’s really had trouble getting her mojo back as evidenced when she was stood up by Jared Leto for a lunch date. Jared Leto, really?

This week’s In Touch has a story about how Nicky’s dropped in excess of 15 pounds since her big breakup. Since she was already pretty small, the tabloid alleges that her friends are concerned and planning an intervention:

She drinks a lot of coffee but doesn’t eat,” says Nicky’s friend. “No one has confronted her about it yet but they will if she continues to lose.”

It’s been more than four months since their fomance ended, but Nicky Hilton still isn’t over her ex-boyfriend David Katzenberg, and she has the weight loss to prove it. Always on the the thinner side, a friend reveals that Nicky has lost more than 15 pounds since David, 28, dumped her back in July, and the unlucky-in-love heiress continues to lose weight. “Nicky was blindsided when David ended their raltionship after four years,” her friend says, “When he told her they needed to talk, she was expecting an engagement ring, not a kiss-off.” In addition to her love woes, the friend says that Nicky, 28, is also worried about her career as the offers aren’t coming in these days like they used to a few years back. “Nicky wasn’t focused on her career when she was with David, but now she is,” the friend says. “It’s causing her some angst and affecting her appetite.”

[From In Touch, print edition, December 12, 2011]

Ah yes, the classic “break-up diet.” I’ve been prone to those myself, for nothing kills the appetite quite so well as realizing a significant number wasted years with the wrong person. Nicky does look a lot thinner these days. Here she is on 7/30 immediately post-Katzenberg:

And here’s Nicky on 10/17, cutting a noticeably slimmer figure:

Photos courtesy of Fame

Last year, CB did a lot of coverage on Kristie Alley’s “weight loss program” called Organic Liaison. According to CB and an overwhelming majority of people who can read, Organic Liaison is pretty much a Church of Scientology front in which people are overcharged for what amounts to vitamin supplements, and then the “program” attempts to indoctrinate the people in the cult of Scientology. The evidence is pretty straight-forward – Organic Liaison’s billing address is the same Florida address of CoS’s accountant, and the language used on the Organic Liaison website is pretty much the language of Xenu. You too can lose weight if you don’t mind being audited by someone holding a pair of lifts and a tin can. But although it’s a pretty straight-forward connection, Kirstie Alley still denied it and when questioned about the connection, she claimed her interrogators were “bigots.”

Anyway, Organic Liaison has a new spokeswoman, and it’s Xenu’s favorite beard, Kelly Preston. Kelly credits Organic Liaison for helping her shed the weight she gained while pregnant with her son Ben. Xenu’s vitamin supplements… and tennis.

When Kelly Preston gave birth to her son Benjamin Travolta a year ago, she knew losing the baby weight wouldn’t be easy.

“When I got pregnant at 48, I didn’t know if my body would bounce back,” the actress tells PEOPLE.

Turns out, Preston had no need to worry. Not only did she shed the baby weight, but over the past year she’s dipped below her pre-pregnancy weight – and is relishing a new figure and renewed vitality as she approaches the mid-century mark.

“I lost 39 lbs., have more energy than I had 20 years ago – and I feel amazing,” Preston says. “I’m going to be turning 50 next year – holy s–––! Hey, 50 is the new 30.”

So besides tennis and keeping up with an active baby, what’s her secret? The Organic Liaison weight-loss program created by Preston and John Travolta’s close friend Kirstie Alley, who cleared her own hurdle this summer when she dropped 100 lbs.

“I was so excited when my best friend created Rescue Me,” says Preston of the diet plan’s organic supplement system that targets cravings and “boosts natural energy,” according to the Organic Liaison website.

“It’s pretty much the most genius thing ever,” says Preston, who recently signed on as the weight-loss system’s spokesperson.

But a rocking a new body is not the only cause for joy in the Travolta household.

“We just celebrated Ben’s first birthday,” she says. “I can’t believe it’s already been a year.”

[From People]

Vitamins and Xenu = “pretty much the most genius thing ever”??? I give up. I mean, good for Kelly Preston for losing the weight and doing it in a somewhat healthy way – I guess. Vitamins, tennis and Xenu is healthier than coke, cigarettes and an eating disorder, right? RIGHT?!? But… considering Kirstie is so delusional about her size and her weight, what does any of this even matter? Kirstie can’t even get any of her numbers right. Who’s to say Kelly has gotten her “39 pounds” number correct?

I can’t wait for Kirstie to come up with a line of Xenu-approved wiglets so John Travolta can become the spokesman for something.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

A couple of weeks ago, Victoria’s Secret model, Adriana Lima, caused some controversy by claiming she didn’t eat solids for nine days prior to a VS runway show and just subsisted on protein shakes. The 30 year-old mother of one also said that she didn’t drink anything 12 hours before the show because, as the article explained “No liquids at all so you dry out; sometimes you can lose up to eight pounds just from that, she said.” Only now Lima is saying it’s all a “misunderstanding,” but she didn’t really elaborate or claim she was misquoted or anything. Lima showed ET Canada a piece of cake she was supposedly eating (although she didn’t actually eat it from what I can tell) and she claimed that she ate healthy and exercised, pleading “Those teenagers out there, don’t go starving yourself or only drinking liquids. Don’t do that please!” Here’s more:

Adriana Lima wasn’t too pleased to hear that reports of the extreme diet Victoria’s Secret Angels must adopt in order to prep for the annual fashion show were swirling around the media.

The Telegraph wrote in an article that Lima testified to being on a pre-show nine-day liquid diet consisting of protein shakes and egg powder, after which she was banned from drinking water for 12 hours leading up to the show. They also reported that Lima worked out twice a day for the three weeks before.

However, Adriana is insisting that the details of the “crazy diet” are just a “misunderstanding.” She spoke with E! Canada to set the record straight. She even showed E! Canada her piece of coffee cake prior to the show, saying, “I have my Starbucks coffee right there… it was a misunderstanding.”

Like anyone whose body is her source of income — or who poses in her skivvies for all to see — the model says she’s conscious of her figure. She admits, “You can’t eat everything, of course… I eat healthy and work out a lot.”

The new mom also hopes to set a good example for others, saying, “Those teenagers out there, don’t go starving yourself or only drinking liquids. Don’t do that please!”

We’re glad Adriana is trying to be a healthy role model, and we’re relieved to hear those extreme diet rumors were one big confusion.

[From Huffington Post]

She probably wasn’t misquoted, she probably does only drink protein shakes for over a week and it’s likely she doesn’t drink 12 hours ahead of time either. There was a lot of debate in that post as to whether that was healthy under a doctor’s supervision (some of you said it was and that it was similar to medically supervised liquid diets) or whether it was unsafe and dangerous. I tend toward the “unsafe” camp, but I’m not a supermodel and I enjoy and need to eat on a daily basis. It would make me sick to eat less than 1,200 calories a day.

Someone schooled Lima that she needs to clam up about the way she prepares for a show and retract her statements about it, so she did. In her mind, it’s probably perfectly normal and likely isn’t half as extreme as the things other models do to lose weight.

Most photos credit: WENN. One photo credit Diane Cohen/Fame Pictures

Do you know how much I hate talking about diets? I really do. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the kind of willpower to follow Atkins or The Zone or whatever juice craze or whatever, or maybe it’s just because I think it’s a stupid subject to discuss in detail. I’m just not one of those girls who can talk about diets endlessly. But I’m not Mariah Carey. Mariah can talk about diets for a really long time. Now. She couldn’t before, because she was on fertility treatments and she had gained weight and kept it on for more than a year before she got pregnant with twins Roc & Roe. Now that she’s given birth and spent the last six months getting back into shape, and she wants to tell us all about it. She covers the new issue of Us Weekly, plus she appeared on yesterday’s Rosie O’Donnell show. There’s some mixed messaging happening here, but first, here’s Us Weekly’s cover excerpt:

“Shake It Off,” indeed! Six months after welcoming twins Moroccan and Monroe, Mariah Carey has lost 30 pounds — and shows off her toned legs and flat stomach in size-6 short-shorts on the stunning new cover of Us Weekly, out now.

“I gained an enormous amount of weight,” the Grammy-winner superstar tells Us of welcoming her son and daughter April 30 with hubby Nick Cannon. How’d she slim down? Beginning in July, Carey buckled down with a nutritionist and a workout plan from Jenny (formerly Jenny Craig), keeping to a 1,500-calorie-a-day menu and thrice-weekly workouts.

“I feel incredible,” the “Fly Like a Bird” singer tells Us, three months after her body transformation began. She and Cannon, 31, famously struggled to conceive their twins (born via C-section at 35 weeks) after a heartbreaking miscarriage.

“It was a huge blessing to be able to have the babies,” Carey says, “But I felt trapped in my body because I couldn’t move.”

Adds the once-again svelte star: “I’m proud of how hard I worked to get my body back…I had to do this for me.”

[From Us Weekly]

30 pounds? I love Mariah, but bitch please. She’s lost a lot more than 30 pounds, because I remember how heavy she was before and during her pregnancy. Mariah kind of knows it too, because she changed the number when she was on Rosie’s show, although she has a good reason – she had edema, and she claims she had 40 pounds of water weight.

Mariah Carey wasn’t shy about showing off her baby bump when she was pregnant with now-6-month-old twins Moroccan and Monroe Cannon. And now, she’s positively ecstatic about unveiling her hot new post-baby body after losing, she says, a full 70 lbs.

On Tuesday’s episode of The Rosie Show on OWN, Carey, 42, was lowered diva-style onto the stage riding on a crescent moon and wearing a skin-tight black mini-skirt and cleavage-baring leather jacket. She then explained her new physique was courtesy of a strict diet and exercise – along with the loss of what she says is about 40 lbs. of water due to a difficult pregnancy.

“In the beginning, when I first had the babies, I had so much edema … water and swelling. Most pregnant woman have that just in their feet,” Carey says. “One day I was doing my thank-you notes and I noticed it started rising up the leg, so I had edema. … I didn’t think I would ever be the same person.”

Diet Plan Spokeswoman
Once she’d shed the water weight, Carey embarked on the Jenny diet plan (formerly Jenny Craig), for which she now serves as a spokeswoman.

“The first week, I lost 40 lbs. … of just water,” Carey says. “It was just water, initially. When I started with the program, I lost at least 30 lbs. of weight that needed to be lost.”

And, says Carey, it wasn’t all about appearance. Carrying so much extra weight made everyday tasks, including going to the bathroom, a challenge.

“I had a really tough pregnancy,” she says. “I was supposed to be on bed rest, but it was so bad that even bed hurt. … I learned a lot being pregnant, watching my body change.” She adds, “The whole point of this is not just like: ‘Oh, hey, look at me and my weight loss, I’m fantastic.’ It’s really health. Like I said, I learned it when I became helpless and felt so vulnerable like never before in my life.”

How She Did It
Because she had a Cesarean section, Carey says exercise wasn’t an option early on. So, she says, “The diet is 90 percent of it.” Remembering to eat was one of her biggest challenges because, she says, she believes if she goes too long without refueling, “You slow down your metabolism.”

For her, it was important “being able to just grab something. I like the soups a lot. It’s 50 calories. I gotta say I like the snacks too.”

Carey also regained her fitness by exercising with her dogs and doing workouts in the ocean. One thing she won’t stick with once she meets her goal.

“I never weighed myself,” she explains. “People will think I’m a liar but it’s true. This is another cliché phrase, I’m a big boned girl … I’m tall and so I always weigh more.”

Instead of weighing herself, she says, “I would tend to go, ‘Does this size dress fit me that I wore three years ago? I’m good, let’s go.’ I would go by what it looked like, how I felt.”

[From People]

OK, she sounds healthy. I like that Mariah’s not too fancy to do Jenny Craig, but I still think there are some funny numbers going on with the actual weight loss versus water retention. Also: you know how I hate to talk about medical stuff because I can actually feel that stuff happening to me because I’m such a crazy hypochondriac and an easy mark for the power of medical persuasion? Well, I looked up Edema (here) and it sounds way more serious than what Mariah is talking about. It’s a serious medical condition, not just something you pee out in a week. In any case, I think Mariah probably has lost close to 70 pounds in total, but I don’t buy her breakdown of regular weight to water weight. And I love that she doesn’t weight herself either – neither do I, because, in my mind, my mega-boobs always skew the number. Shut up.

Here are some pics of Mariah before and during her pregnancy.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame & Dembabies.com.

I really hate fad diets. I get that it may seem simple and easy to eat only cabbage soup and lose a ton of weight in a short period of time, but that never lasts long term and you feel miserable in the mean time. There’s also no trick or secret formula to losing weight except making the calories you take in less than the calories you put out. So when I need to lose weight I just write down everything I eat, keep it around 1,500 calories a day, and exercise. You get tempted to take shortcuts and drastically cut down what you eat, but whenever I do that I lose weight the first week, then end up pigging out and more than making up for it.

All that is to preface this diet trick that Matthew Morrison claims helps him maintain a fit physique. He says he’ll prepare for shirtless scenes on Glee by eating only sweet potatoes for three days, because “The potato acts as a sponge and your body literally shrinks and gets ripped and tight.” That’s so stupid I don’t know where to start. He’s perfect for The Goop though. They can be constipated and go on starvation cleanses together. It’s a match made in self-obsessed know-it-all heaven!

First of all, let’s debunk this myth that a food can be a sponge in your body and suck up fat. That’s not possible and you lose weight because you’re taking in less calories. Second, it’s not healthy to eat just one food at a time. To be fair, sweet potatoes do have a lot of nutrients and fiber in them and are actually considered one of the healthiest vegetables. It’s just dumb to eat just one food at a time, but if Morrison wants to do it he can go ahead. I’m sure Goop will give him some tips on how to mix it up by drinking vegetable juice for a week instead.

Whatever the guy is doing, it’s working for him. He looks great. I would rather get with a carb face with some extra weight on him than a guy who thinks sweet potatoes “act like a sponge” and “literally” make your body tight. Give me a smart guy who eats bread and drinks beer instead.

Here’s a clip of Morrison on The Tonight Show getting embarrassed by a cameo he made as a member of a gay boy band (really) in a 2003 movie.

Header image from Details

Last week the National Enquirer reported that Jessica Simpson was trying to lose weight for her wedding and that her fiance Eric Johnson was telling her to drop some pounds or the wedding was off. I said that it was likely that Simpson was trying to lose weight for her wedding because that’s what most women do, but that I doubted that Eric had issued an ultimatum or was particularly concerned with Jessica’s weight. He looks like he’s gained a few since hooking up with Jessica anyway.

In this week’s US Weekly, fraud celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson claims that she’s training Jessica and that “this is a big, forever lifestyle shift” for the accidental fashion mogul. Anderson recommends diets that are around the 800 calorie mark a day, well below the 1200 minimum calories recommended by nutritionists. Anderson has no certification or background in nutrition. To be fair, this article doesn’t say that Anderson is giving Simpson diet advice, it’s just implied. Simpson did go on a “cleanse” before starting the program.

Jessica Simpson, 30, has enlisted the help of celeb trainer Tracy Anders, who’s customized a routine that includes dance aerobics, ab work and strength training. After a few weeks of 75-minute, four-day-a-week workouts, “she’s seeing results,” says a pal. “She really loves it. She thinks it’s so much fun.”

The 5-foot-3 margarita and guacamole-loving star even went on a weeklong cleanse to kick start the regime and intends to cut back on fatty favorites for good. “She is in the mind set that this is a big, forever lifestyle shift,” Anderson tells US, adding that she plans to ramp up Simpson’s workouts. “Jessica has a killer body, but when she goes up to two hours, six days a week, then you will really see her transform.”

[From US Weekly, print edition, February 28, 2011]

What the hell is Jessica thinking? She used to work with Harley Pasternak, whose 5-Factor Diet and 5-Factor Fitness programs are actually sensible and easy to follow. (From what I’ve read, I haven’t done them.) She doesn’t need to get caught up with Tracy’s starvation and overexercise program. Everyone else is doing it, so I guess she’s on the bandwagon now. Good luck keeping it up once the big event is over.

Jessica and Eric are shown on 12/31/10. Credit: Fame. Tracy Anderson is shown showing off her bolt ons on 4/20/09. Credit: PRPhotos