A few days ago, I looked through these photos of Dina Lohan at the ROCK ART LOVE auction in NYC, and I couldn’t really find a story to go with them. I was considering just doing an update on where Lindsay Lohan’s trial is heading next week, but then other stuff came up, and long story short, I was like, “Meh, a week without Dina Lohan is a good week.” As it turns out, there was an interesting story that goes along with these photos. Dina Lohan was completely blitzed at this event, to the point where she was disruptive to the auction. Because of course.

It appeared Dina Lohan was trying to compete with potential bidders Carlos Slim Helu, the world’s richest man, and Cuba Gooding Jr. at the Rock Love Art Ball on the lower East Side Tuesday. Turns out, she was just drunkingly flailing her hands in the air during a charity auction.

“There was a dinner and it’s safe to say that Dina was drunk by the end of it,” says our spy. “She said the self-serve steak on the table was the best steak she had ever eaten. And when someone would receive an award, Dina would start clapping and stand up, the only one in the room standing.”

Our eyewitness says by the time the live auction came around, Dina was off to the races, “clapping and raising her hands in the air.”

“This prompted the auction leader to call out to her, ‘Ma’am, I have to remind you, when I see your hands above your eyebrows it means that you are bidding.’ She told her to stop jiggling around.”

Dina, spotted getting wine refills during her meal, was also seen laughing to herself and getting a neck rub at the table. “A massage therapist went up to her table to chat with her. The next thing you know, Dina is getting a neck rub with her head down. The massage therapist said Dina had a lot of tension in her neck and is probably stressed out.”

It was rumored that daughter Lindsay would be attending the event with mom, but she was a no-show.

Between cocktails, Dina did tell Confidenti@l she’s busy working on her memoirs.

“It’s totally cathartic, but my kids are like, write the book already. So I think it’s time. I’m doing it more for my children than for me to shed light on what really went down when Lindsay was little and what she had to deal with,” she said.

“It’s actually my life story, not about Lindsay and not about my ex. … I’m from A to M. … I guess I’m at M at this point; I don’t know. Not at Z yet,” she explained.

[From The NY Daily News]

Sometimes I actually have moments of “God, I have no idea how Lindsay ended up such a raging dumbass.” But then I remember – Dina Lohan is the “good” parent. And this is how Lindsay’s “good” parent behaves. Like a drunken mess. Like an alcoholic who can barely slur out some nonsense about her memoir. That memoir is going to be co-written by Captain Morgan and Jim Beam. The memoir will be called “Rockette: Bluskghskj sleepytime coke dance kfsofh OPRAH.”

Would you like an update on the Lindsay situation? According to TMZ, prosecutors ended plea deal negotiations on Thursday and everyone is set to go to trial on Monday. It’s going to be a hot mess. The prosecution kept offering Lindsay deal after progressively better deal, and she said no to all of them because she’s linnocent and she doesn’t feel like she should be punished for anything!! Punishment is not for white girls with big boobs, remember! Lady Justice, don’t you know that she’s the star of Herbie Fully Loaded?!?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Dina Lohan has a new delusional, ridiculous interview with Mario Lopez on Extra. I guess Dina didn’t want to sit through another interview with Entertainment Tonight, because their interviewer really went after her the last time. So it’s time for Extra! And it’s chaos and insane. The video is below, and we’ll discuss it after.

Some highlights of the interview:

When asked if trouble seems to find Lindsay or Lindsay finds trouble,” her mother replied, “A little bit of both. I really think she’s a target and since I am a single parent, I think they think there’s a weaker link that she doesn’t have as much protection around her.”

Dina said living in New York, closer to the family, is one way to keep Lindsay safe, “I have been trying to get her out of [L.A.] for five years… she’s safer at home.”

As for the rumors the mother and daughter were reportedly turned away from two hotels when they arrived in Los Angeles for Lindsay’s recent court appearance, Dina laughed, “That was so silly. We got to the hotel, and there were so many paparazzi, so we opted out. We went to another hotel, the suites were full and then we ended up at the Beverly Hills Hotel.”

Dina also said she is sick of being a tabloid target, calling herself the most misunderstood mom in America. She has written a new tell-all book, “A Parent Trapped,” which details the Lohan family drama, including her relationship with ex-husband Michael Lohan.

Dina explained, “I don’t really want to speak about that on camera, but I’ve been a single mom my whole life. I’ve had sole custody and my other three have had no relationship with him… Yes, I feel like I’m the victim of domestic violence for years, so if I can save a life or change a life. I want it to be a helpful book. I’m always hopeful things will get better and slowly, but surely hopefully they are.”

Dina is also hoping that Lindsay can clear up her legal problems when she goes to court in March. Another thing Dina would like to do, “Dancing with The Stars.” Mario, “Who would you be partnered with?” Dina, “Max.” Mario, “He’s supposed to be strict.” Dina, “I like that.”

On the subject of Max, Mario asked about the rumored relationship between Max from “The Wanted” and Lindsay, “Okay, speaking of Max, that’s a good segway, Lindsay’s been hanging out with Max of “The Wanted.” Dina, “I can’t go there, that’s personal, but yes he’s lovely.” Dina went on to admit, “They are very good friends, he’s a sweetheart.”

As for what Dina would like Lindsay to do in the future, Mario asked, “Would you like to see Lindsay married with kids?” Dina says, “Yes! I just want to babysit.”

[From Extra]

So much ridiculousness in one short interview, right? Let’s take it point by point. One, why is Lindsay “the weaker link”? Dina talks as if SHE is the famous one and her poor crackie daughter just grew up in the spotlight because of Dina’s enormous fame! Two, LL now living in NY with Dina – Dina just wanted her closer because Dina wants to “momager/pimp” her all of the time. Three, “opting out” of the hotel because there were paparazzi? HAHAHAHA. Four, Dina’s book, A Parent Trapped. How asinine. How trashy. Five, why does Dina still talk about Lindsay like she’s under 18 years old?! Why is Dina still talking about “sole custody” – that’s not something to brag about, especially considering how Lindsay has turned out.

And finally, Lindsay getting married and having kids? Jesus. Is that the next cracked-out con? Lindsay is going to try to land a married man and have his kid? SMH.

Also – Radar has a new video of Dina acting kind of out of it, and they claim she was totally drunk in the middle of the day. Which wouldn’t be surprising at all, but the video doesn’t show her as, like, a fall-down drunk. She seems like she’s just kind of out of it and “maintaining”. You can see it here.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

I knew this would be a day dominated by Lindsay Lohan and The Great Cracktastrophe of 2013, but I wasn’t expecting this. According to TMZ, after LL and Dina busted their lazy asses to fly back to LA for Lindsay’s court appearance today – despite being super-sick, y’all! – they couldn’t even find a hotel to check into. Wait, did I say that the wrong way? They tried to check into two hotels, only to get rejected flat-out. Hahaha.

It was a rough night for Lindsay Lohan and mama Dina …. first, flying to L.A. to dodge an arrest warrant and landing after midnight …. then getting rejected by a swanky hotel … and TMZ has learned they were BLACKBALLED.

Lindsay and Dina showed up at Shutters on the Beach in Santa Monica (see video) at around 1 AM Wednesday. Lindsay stayed in the car while Dina went inside to check in, but she was unceremoniously turned away. Sources at Shutters tell TMZ they put Lindsay on a blacklist after she allegedly trashed one of their rooms in 2007.

Lindsay and Dina then went up the road a piece, to the Loews Hotel where they were also turned away. Management tells TMZ … there were no rooms available.

We don’t know where Lindsay and Dina ended up … but one thing’s for sure … with court starting at 8:30 AM, they’re gonna have bags so big they’ll need to check them for the return flight.

[From TMZ]

The only real question I have is: why not the Marmont? Why didn’t they try to check into the Chateau Marmont, which is Lindsay’s crack den of choice when she’s in LA? Or how about her actual LA home which was just refurbished? Or why not The Standard, which is where a lot of the d-bags stay? What is going on in Lohan-land? Are hoteliers finally getting wise to the crack shenanigans?

Lindsay is due in court in less than two hours… we’ll have something more then!

Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.

On Monday we saw a new interview that Dina Lohan gave The NY Daily News in which she said, “Lindsay is messed up because her father is messed up.” It was notable to me not because Dina was continuing the Lohan family tradition of deflecting blame and never being accountable for anything, but because she was finally admitting that Lindsay had a problem. When Dina isn’t repeating the “Lindsay is fine, she is concentrating on her work” mantra, something is definitely off.

In that same interview, Dina accused her ex husband, Michael Lohan, of ongoing abuse during their relationship and mentioned an incident in 1986 in which he blackened her eye. Michael, who was also quoted in the article, admitted slapping Dina back then, but claimed it was self defense. Dina also described allegedly being raped by Michael while they were estranged in 1990. He claims it was consensual and that Dina reported it as rape as payback because he was cheating on her. I believe Dina given the overwhelming evidence that Michael abuses his partners. End of story.

In conjunction with her NY Daily News article, Dina shared (sold) photos of herself with a black eye in 1986. ET has those pictures here. Dina is seen holding a baby, who is probably baby Lindsay considering that she was born in 1986.

Again, this isn’t surprising and of course Dina was abused by Michael, he’s a POS. Why is she telling this to the press now, though? I’m thinking this is her crackie way of trying to tell Lindsay that she’s in deep trouble and needs help. This is the first time we’ve ever heard an admission from Dina that Lindsay is not ok, isn’t it? Does this mean that Lindsay is so far gone at this point that even Dina is trying to tell her she has issues? Remember, Dina was in London partying with Lindsay for New Year’s. My theory is that something went down and Dina is now actually worried about her daughter. For Dina to finally wise up, it had to be major. Or maybe Dina just got cut off by Lindsay and she needs the cash from selling her abuse photos. I don’t know why I’m getting my hopes up.

Also, fingers crossed that Lindsay finally gets sent to jail for more than a week or two. A long stint inside might finally get her to sober up, but I doubt that either of those things are going to happen.

Dina and Lindsay are shown on 9-14-12 (cleavage dress, credit: FameFlynet) and 12-30-12 (fur coat, credit: Pacific Coast News)

In the ongoing trainwreck that is Lindsay Lohan’s life, is there any shadow of a doubt that her mother is her worst enabler? Her mother, the one who accompanied her to a “paid party” this New Year’s sponsored by Prince Azim of Brunei. Her mother, the one who regularly gets wasted with her daughter, does interviews wasted, and denies that her daughter has any problems whatsoever. It’s exhausting to try and recap the messiness in Lindsay Lohan’s life, but her mother has been there, denying and blaming and lying the entire time. There’s little doubt who taught Lindsay that a sense of entitlement, a total lack of personal responsibility, and a propensity to lie your ass off are completely acceptable coping skills.

So it’s not surprising to hear Dina blame her ex husband for all of Lindsay’s problems. What’s surprising to me is that Dina is finally admitting that Lindsay has a problem. Did Lindsay and her mom have another big fight on New Year’s and is this payback? Did Lindsay tell her mom not to cut in on her international profits?

In a new interview with the NY Daily News, Dina goes into details about a rape she claims she suffered from her ex, Micheal Lohan, when they were estranged in 1990; Michael claims it was consensual and that Dina accused him of rape as payback. (Dina’s children did not witness the rape.) Michael also claims that Dina’s allegations of physical abuse are inaccurate and that she hit him first. Given vagina-kicker Michael’s history of abusing the women in his life, I believe Dina. She’s delusional if she think that Lindsay’s problems are entirely due to Michael, but this isn’t new from her. Here are some excerpts from the interview. There’s more at the source if you’re interested.

“Michael beat the hell out of me,” Dina said, of the 1986 incident memorialized in a family snapshot of the young mother holding her baby girl — Lindsay — while sporting a huge purple bruise under her right eye.

“When Lindsay saw the photo, she was furious,” said Dina. “She said, ‘Tell the world! Talk about it!’ ”

According to Dina, Lindsay was affected by all that she saw as a child — and she’s not to blame for her faltering career or oddball antics.

“She saw a lot of crazy stuff. I want the world to know the root of her problems…”

“Lindsay saw all the beatings and all the abuse. She said, ‘Stay, mommy, don’t leave,’ ” said Dina.

Recently, Dina said, her adult daughter expressed regret for those words.

“She said, ‘I’m so sorry for making you stay.’ But I didn’t stay for Lindsay — I wanted all my kids to be happy,” said Dina.

“Like many victims of domestic violence and rape, I was embarrassed and afraid. I was very young . . . I thought I could keep fixing him,” Dina said.
She said she came forward now to “set the record straight. I need to make the world aware that Lindsay is messed up because her father is messed up.”

Michael said he believes Dina is seeking cover from criticism of her own parenting decisions.

“She’s bringing this up now because she’s drinking and partying with Lindsay. And she keeps robbing Lindsay,” he said, claiming that his actress daughter is his ex-wife’s main source of income. “She is the devil.”

Lindsay, who has her share of legal problems, is expected to appear in Manhattan Criminal Court Monday to see if she’ll face charges for a catfight she got into with a Florida palm reader in a Chelsea nightclub’s VIP room in November.

[From The NY Daily News]

I can’t with these people, they’re all awful, and I’m including their crackhead daughter in that mix. The Lohans are trashier than any reality television family going, and they don’t even rate reality TV anymore.

In the ongoing, constant news about Lindsay’s string of legal problems, there’s an update from TMZ on her court case today. Wouldn’t you know it, the crackhead skated again. Of course she did! After partying until 5am Saturday morning in London, she didn’t bother to get her paid-for ass on a plane and back to New York City for her scheduled court appearance. She didn’t need to make up an excuse about “losing” her passport this time, because the case was delayed. And here I was hoping that New York justice would be swifter than California justice. In case you forgot which crack-scuffle this case pertained to (I did!) it had to do with her punching that “psychic” in a nightclub in November.

You know what this reminds me about? Michael Lohan is still expecting a baby with Kate Major. That’s going to be epic.

Dina Lohan and Lindsay are shown out in London on 12-30-12. Credit: Optic Photos, PacificCoastNews.com

Yesterday, I was trying to avoid writing one single word about Michael Lohan. Even if I think Michael “Vagina-Kicker” Lohan might have a somewhat valid point about something, that’s really no excuse to give him a platform. Plus, there was plenty to talk about with Lindsay’s arrest and everything, and as it turns out, Michael Lohan was barely part of any of that. He might see himself as the self-appointed Greek chorus of this crack-tragedy, but he is not. And besides all of that, I was just waiting to hear what crack-delusions Dina Lohan, Mother Crackie herself, would have to spread about Lindsay’s arrest. I really hate that Dina did not drop an old-school “THE PROOF IS IN THE FACTS!” on us. Sigh.

Lindsay Lohan’s mother, Dina, has released a statement to RadarOnline.com about her daughter’s recent legal troubles and Thursday morning arrest asking for privacy and noting that the tough times bring their family closer together.

“At this time I kindly ask that you extend to my family the time we need to address my daughter’s circumstances with the appropriate parties. As a mother you always love and pray for the best with all your children,” Dina said.

“Our family’s bond grows deeper and stronger during the tough times and I am beyond proud of all of my children for the love and devotion they provide for each other.”

Dina goes on to say that she will stand by Lindsay — and all of her children — no matter what.

“We are there for and stand by one another unconditionally. Many thanks to all that have expressed concern for my daughter,” she said. “Your compassionate thoughts and prayers are received with my deepest gratitude.”

Lindsay, 26, was arrested and charged with third-degree assault after she allegedly hit fellow partier Tiffany Eve Mitchell on Thursday morning at a Manhattan nightclub.

Just hours later, Lindsay was formally charged with three misdemeanors by the Santa Monica City Attorney for lying to police about her June car accident on the Pacific Coast Highway when her Porsche slammed into the back of a big-rig.

Dina’s ex-husband and Lindsay’s father, Michael Lohan, exclusively told RadarOnline.com of Lindsay’s bar brawl arrest:

“Both [Dina] and Lindsay are in a dark place. I TOLD you exactly what would happen and YOU KNOW I was trying to get Dina on board with me for a long time, BUT especially the last two weeks. Lindsay is acting out in numerous ways because she needs us and internally she’s hurt and angry! Again, it’s ALL on Dina and I wish to God she would stop and resolve things with us to do the same for our children.”

[From Radar]

One, it is NOT “all” on Dina, you crack monster. It takes two cracked-out disasters to raise a delusional psycho like the Cracken, and congrats Michael, you totally did your part. As for Dina’s statement…I’d like to fix it for you:

“At this time I kindly ask that you extend to [me and my case of tequila] the time we need to address my daughter’s [crack-headedness] with the appropriate parties [meaning I’ll call her lawyer and manager and tell them Lindsay will pay them in blow and services from now on if they save her ass from this crack escapade]. As a mother you always love and pray for the best with all your children, [especially when one special child is paying all of your bills and has been since she was 14 years old so I just can’t say ‘no’ to that crackface, amirite?]”

“We are there for and stand by one another unconditionally [unless we can turn state’s evidence against the other one for a sweet plea deal, in which case CALL ME!]. Many thanks to all that have expressed concern for my daughter [Yes, she will be honoring all of her escort gigs for now]. Your compassionate thoughts and prayers are received with my deepest gratitude [because that’s what everybody needs to be doing right now, praying for a dumb crackhead who can’t go one month without screwing up. Screw praying for homeless people or veterans or refugees or the victims of Hurricane Sandy. Pray for Crackie.]“

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet and Pacific Coast News.

While Lindsay Lohan has been told to avoid Barbara Walters like a crack plague, Dina Lohan has decided to take it upon herself to begin the Lohan family promotional duties for Lifetime’s Liz & Dick. Dina appeared on last night’s episode of Entertainment Tonight, and it was another cracked-out doozy. Dina managed to fit several mountains of crackie delusion into just a few short minutes. She touched on Lindsay’s (recorded) phone call to her father about Dina being “on cocaine.” Dina talked about the Barbara Walters situation. And Dina also mentioned all of the similarities between Lindsay Lohan and Elizabeth Taylor, saying, “It’s uncanny, the similarities between Lindsay and Elizabeth…” No. No it is not uncanny. It’s offensive to speak that way about a legend.

Did Lindsay Lohan lie about her mother having an alleged cocaine problem? Dina Lohan sets the record straight for ET’s Christina McLarty.

“Absolutely lied. We were having an argument, it escalated,” explains Dina of their October altercation which was recorded by her father, Michael Lohan. “She just wanted to hurt me at that moment. You know, mothers [and] daughters, we fight.”

Dina tells Christina that it pained her to see that private family moment “go public and viral.” As for accusations that she uses cocaine, Dina replies, “I hate cocaine. I don’t do cocaine.”

After Lindsay proclaimed that she was not being truthful about her accusations against her mother about cocaine use, Dina says, “I’m so proud of her for telling the truth because it destroyed me. I mean, I cried for weeks. It just hurt me so bad and she knew how horrible that was, and she came clean and told the truth that she lied. I’m very proud of her for that, which is very difficult to have to do.”

Dina adds, “There’s so much more to the story than the public sees, and it takes its toll on my children and myself, and we’re just trying to move forward.”

[From ET]

“It just hurt me so bad and she knew how horrible that was, and she came clean and told the truth that she lied. I’m very proud of her for that, which is very difficult to have to do.” THE PROOF IS IN THE FACTS!! “She came clean and told the truth that she lied” is amazing. Of course it should be “She came clean and told a lie about the truth.” But it’s typical Dina to praise her crackhead daughter – “I’m very proud of her for that, which is very difficult to have to do” – for absolutely no g—damn reason. Why is Dina proud of Lindsay? Because Lindsay called her mother a cokehead and then issued a crack-denial? Ugh, this family.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, PCN and screencaps from ET.

Ugh, time for more Lindsay Lohan crap. As we discussed yesterday, Lindsay is back in LA after her whirlwind crack-extravaganza in New York, and LL is even back to hanging out at the Chateau Marmont, because that’s never a recipe for full-on disaster. People Mag even has a nice little story about Lindsay’s activities at the Marmont on Thursday – she showed up Thursday night with some friends around 10 p.m., and a source says, “Lindsay was very talkative and led much of the conversation. The group shared hot tea and late night salads. Lindsay definitely seemed at ease and in high spirits as they enjoyed a low-key night.” Late-night salads? Is that some kind of crack code? People Mag’s source says she took a “tense” call at one point, then rejoined her friends. Blah. And you know what we have to look forward to now? Lindsay’s promotional tour in support of Liz & Dick. For real. The Lifetime movie comes out in late November, and Crackie is trying to wring as much publicity out of it as she can. Which leads me to this:

Lindsay Lohan will continue her chatty streak (following her appearance on TMZ Live this week) and will sit down for a one-on-one interview with the legendary Barbara Walters … TMZ has learned. Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ she has been close to Walters for years and that Barbara reached out to her about doing an interview when it was announced she’d playing Liz Taylor in the upcoming “Liz & Dick” biopic.

We’re told LiLo has been hesitant about sit-down interviews because she fears being asked questions she’s not prepared for. But our sources say Lindsay trusts Barbara not to take things too far. According to our sources, Lindsay and Barbara will sit down sometime in the next few weeks. We’re told the interview will focus on the parallels between the lives of Lindsay and Liz Taylor — things like child stardom, a rough childhood, living life in the public, and also dealing with addiction.

Our sources say the plan is for the interview to air next month to coincide with the premiere of “Liz & Dick.”

[From TMZ]

I don’t really trust Barbara Walters at this point. Maybe I never did. But I doubt the interview will be anything other than a hot mess of crack-denials, crack-squawking and crack-tears, and I doubt Barbara will call her out on any of her BS. As for the “comparisons” to Elizabeth Taylor – STFU.

Meanwhile, there’s even more crack drama with Lindsay’s parents. I know, shocking. TMZ reports that Dina is “pressuring” Lindsay to take out a restraining order/protection order against Michael Lohan, which would mean that Michael couldn’t even email, text or call Lindsay without being in violation. TMZ’s sources say that Lindsay isn’t convinced by Dina, and thinks that the protection order is “too extreme”. Michael told TMZ, “I suppose Dina got wind that I want the court and Child Protective Services to investigate her!” He also contacted Page Six and had a lot to say too:

Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael, is “very upset” with the crowd his daughter has been hanging with in New York, and insists there “will be changes.”

After Lohan finished shooting Bret Easton Ellis’ movie “The Canyons” in LA, she’d been in a series of Big Apple disasters, from a W Hotel dust-up with a Congressional aide to an alleged fight with mother Dina after partying till the wee hours in Chelsea.

Michael says it’s the crowd surrounding Lindsay in New York that’s the bad influence, and he wants her to get back to focusing on her career.

“I am very upset with the crowd around Lindsay,” he told Page Six in an e-mail, targeting one pal in particular. He also warned Lindsay’s pals, “My advice to ALL the negative influences in Lindsay and my other children’s lives is, this time, you have crossed the line and bitten off a lot more than you can chew! My family will not be subject to your misguided morals and ways!”

Michael also vowed that things will change in his daughter’s life. “There WILL BE changes!! Just watch,” he wrote.

[From Page Six]

How many times are they going to blame the people around Lindsay? What is she, 26 years old? And she’s been acting like a crackhead for at least eight years now. At some point, doesn’t everyone have to acknowledge that Lindsay has problems because of WHO and WHAT she is, as opposed to the people around her? That being said, Lindsay should completely cut off her gang of crack-sycophants, including both of her parents. It won’t change who she is, but it would probably just be cheaper.

PS… Her wonky fake tan makes her look like she has jaundice.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are some new photos of Lindsay Lohan at last night’s launch event (?) for Mr Pink’s Ginseng Drink in Beverly Hills. I know. I KNOW. She looks like a mess. I don’t think she looks coked up, though. If anything, she looks like she took a bunch of downers and was sleep-walking her way through the carpet. As for her hair, Lindsay admitted, “It’s actually the wrong color than it’s supposed to be. But it’s the color of my natural hair and it will get there.” Bitch, your natural hair color isn’t orange-pink. Incidentally, Lindsay told E! News that she had made up her mind as to which candidate would get the much-sought-after Crackie Vote. Yes, Lindsay is voting for Mitt Romney. Her crack logic: “I just think employment is really important right now. So, as of now, Mitt Romney. As of now. It’s a long story.” UGH. That makes me feel bad for Mitt.

Okay, there’s a ton of other Lohan crap to get to this morning. I know, I know. If a crackhead crack-squawks in the woods, does it make a sound? And other deep thoughts. Sorry for getting so philosophical! I’ll try it a different way… time for another episode of “The Crack Diaries: Totally Lohan, Y’all!” Here’s some stuff that’s happened in the past 30 hours or so since the police stormed the Long Island Lohan residence after *someone* called the cops during a violent, coked-out altercation between Lindsay and Dina.

*Lindsay did in fact “lend” her mother $40,000 to save Dina’s Long Island home. Dina’s house was put on foreclosure notice back in 2010, but Dina worked out some kind of new payment structure with JP Morgan Chase to keep her house. TMZ reports that since then, Dina has been getting Lindsay to make the payments. Still, Dina recently “fell behind” and asked Lindsay for an additional $40,000. That was the money Dina and Lindsay were arguing about.

*Dina has apparently gotten A LOT of money from Lindsay over the years, and Lindsay has even paid for her brother’s college tuition.

*Lindsay called into TMZ yesterday, and she had a lot to say and crack-deny. First and foremost, Lindsay claims Dina was NOT on cocaine during their argument early Wednesday morning. Lindsay fell on her own sword, saying: “I told my dad a really hurtful and untruthful lie about my mom. She was not on cocaine.”

*Lindsay said she can’t believe that Michael Lohan betrayed her AGAIN by recording their conversation and selling it to TMZ. The word used is “betrayal” I guess. Lindsay claims she is “done” with him forever and Michael “doesn’t know what it means to be a father. He doesn’t want to be a dad.” She also says Michael was the one to call the police.

*Lindsay on the crack-drama fight with Dina: “Daughters have fights with their moms. It happens a lot. It’s normal.” Lindsay says she’s “really regretful” about the fight and that Dina is an “amazing woman.”

*Lindsay still hates Dr. Phil, and says Dr. Phil’s conduct during his interview with Dina was “vile and disgusting.”

*Lindsay claims Dina wasn’t drinking before the fight and that “it’s not true” that the family is trying to get Dina into rehab.

*Lindsay left New York on Thursday. She flew back to LA, leaving her mom to deal with all of this. Lindsay was due back in LA to do some promotional work – a paid gig for a ginseng-infused health drink called Mr. Pink.

*Dina has not issued any statements thus far. Neither has Lindsay’s “rep” Steve Honig. Coincidence?!?!?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

To recap yesterday’s cracktastrophe and all of that, go here. Basic story: Lindsay Lohan and Dina got into a fight after a long night of clubbing, drinking, smoking and snorting. The fight started in the car and it ended up with 9-1-1 being called and Lindsay’s precious, unblemished body being RUINED by her mother’s claw (Dina scratched Lindsay – bitches should be checked for rabies). Well, a lot has happened since then. First, go here to see the super-posed photos of Dina and Lindsay saying goodbye to each other yesterday, after a long 24-hour period of crack drama. They both look like they’re ready to scratch each other’s eyes out still. So what exactly went down? Here’s what we know:

*Dina and Lindsay both spent all of Wednesday morning together in Long Island, with the police in tow. The police were probably laughing their asses off.

*While Dina and Lindsay were fighting with each other in the limo (because why not?), Lindsay called her father to complain. Oh, I’m sorry. This phone call is being billed as a “hysterical plea for help”. Yeah, it’s hysterical alright. Here’s the audio (note: I could only get about 50 seconds into it before I turned it off in disgust.)

*In the audio – which was apparently recorded by Michael Lohan – Lindsay claims Dina is “on cocaine…She’s like touching her neck, and s—t.” Lindsay also mentions (“mentions” = crack squawks) that she gave her mother $40,000 and Lindsay had asked for it back. Apparently, Dina asked for the money to save her house from foreclosure, but Lindsay NEEDED the money back (gee, I wonder why?). Lindsay also says, “She’s saying disgusting things to me … I’m dead to her now.” Somebody is calling somebody “nuts” and Lindsay says at one point, “This is what you do. You ruin people. She’s like the f–king devil right now. I have a gash on my leg from what happened.”

*Michael Lohan also made sure to give Radar an exclusive too – he says that Lindsay told Dina that Dina belongs in rehab. Hahahahahaha. If that isn’t the crackie calling the Mother Crackhead a crack monster. Michael also says that Lindsay told him that Dina is “trying to destroy her.” Sure. Why not?

So, in the end, what did we learn from all of this nonsense? That Dina is just as much of a f—king mess as her daughter, although I think we already knew that after the Dr. Phil interview, right? We also learned – in my mind, definitively – that Dina Lohan truly IS Steve Honig. If this was any other crack drama involving Lindsay and the cops, “Steve Honig” would have been all over this was some really spectacular denial. Instead, “Steve Honig” has been silent. Probably because “Steve Honig” = Mother Crackie, and Mother Crackie was talking to the cops for hours and hours.

Photos courtesy of PR Photos and Pacific Coast News.