Jon Hamm’s been on the promotional trail for Bridesmaids lately, and he stopped by the Conan O’Brien show last night to discuss various things, such as how he’s been filming a television show in England, and rabid “Mad Men” fans often send over huge quantities of bourbon whenever he visits pubs. Surprisingly, Hamm claims to prefer the girly, neon-tinted drinks: “Real men go for any drink that’s in the neon family.” Hamm also talked about President Obama’s killer jokes at the White House Correspondents dinner to great effect:

He was amazing, and I had kind of the best seat the house because I was sitting sort of right behind Donald Trump’s table, and watching that dude who has no problem telling people what to do and giving people trouble actually take it? He didn’t take it very well. That was a rough table. I was actually sitting next to Zach Galifianakis and we were laughing very loudly to the point where I kind of checked in with him and I was like, can we kind of tone it down? These are funny jokes but [Donald's] right there. He was not having any of it, but they were funny jokes, and Obama was hilarious. I felt kind of bad because I was like, ‘Seth’s gotta follow this guy,’ and he did do a great job. It was fun, it was super fun. I got to meet him, I got to meet the President. That’s not something that happens every day.

[From Team Coco]

Sigh. He’s still so humble (and dreamy) after all of this recent success. I also like how, in real life, Hamm still looks like Don Draper but doesn’t act like him at all. Is there any way we can clone him for posterity? In case you want to witness the above words in (ahem) further detail, here’s a video clip from last night’s show:

Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures

I haven’t been paying much attention to Donald Trump and his bid for the Presidency, because that moves an annoying entertainment figure into the realm of an annoying political figure, and we try to ignore those except in the cases of very obvious crossovers. (i.e. Sarah Palin.) So Trump has been spouting that “birther” nonsense to anyone that will listen, and Obama’s people actually responded and released his long form birth certificate. Prior to this there was an announcement in the local Hawaii paper and a “Certification of Live Birth,” which should suffice but was picked apart by people looking to find fault. It’s some complicated stuff, and if you’re interested you can read about it here, here and here, but the gist is that the conspiracy theorists were grasping at straws to try and say that Obama wasn’t born in the US and was therefor not qualified to be President. With crazy Trump at the helm, those theories gained more steam. Anyway Obama put out his long form birth certificate, which was filed away in Hawaii somewhere, and Trump is taking credit for it.

“I know that there is going to be a segment of people for which no matter what we put out, this issue will not be put to rest,” Obama said. “But I am speaking for the vast majority of the American people as well as for the press. We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We have better stuff to do. I have got better stuff to do. We have got big problems to solve.”

“We are not going to be able to do it if we are distracted, we are not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other … if we just make stuff up and pretend that facts are not facts, we are not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by side shows and carnival barkers,” the president declared earlier.

The document released by the White House differs from the one that Obama’s aides made public during the 2008 presidential campaign. Instead of a “certification” of live birth, this was a “certificate,” clearly recording that the president was born on Aug. 4, 1961 in the Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital in Honolulu.

For years, Obama’s circle of aides had resisted calls to make the latter form public, noting that a certification is legally sound and what any citizen of Hawaii receives upon requesting documents of birth. And indeed, for some time, that explanation — supported by a a wide swath of other contemporaneous evidence – seemed to suffice.

But some who challenged the president’s citizenship remained unsatisfied, and in recent weeks they found a high-profile megaphone for their cause: business tycoon and presidential flirt Donald Trump. – Huffington Post

---

Donald Trump is already taking the credit for getting Barack Obama to go public with his birth certificate … saying, “I’m very proud of myself” … but adds, “We have to see if it’s real.”

Trump added, “I want to look at it, but I hope it’s true so that we can get on to much more important matters … he should have done it a long time ago.”

He continued, “I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue.”

As for the actual document, Trump added, “We have to look at it, we have to see … is it real? Is it proper? What’s on it? But I hope it checks out beautifully.” – TMZ

[From HuffPo and TMZ]

The people who don’t want Obama to be President aren’t going to accept this as fact, and as TMZ points out they’ll say there’s some conspiracy behind waiting so long to release it. As Kaiser told me about this issue, sometimes it’s better not to feed the trolls. Look at how Trump is gloating.

Note: these are the jokes that weren’t cut from the broadcast. You can read the ones that were on TMZ

I used to think that The Situation was somewhat cleverly crafting his media image, like he was playing up the douche angle and making himself into a parody of a self-obsessed, selfish user gym rat in order to move merchandise. Now that I’ve read some of the truly terrible jokes he cracked at Donald Trump’s roast I’m not so sure. Like even if someone else wrote these for him, there’s no excuse for repeating them and they weren’t funny to boot. He made dumb, unnecessary references to slavery and to Marlee Matlin being deaf and he didn’t even weave in personal stuff about The Donald like you’re supposed to do for a roast. As a result most of his routine was cut from the broadcast. You can read what he said on TMZ, I don’t want to recap it at all.

The stuff that was left was equally bad, but not quite as offensive, as you can see from the video above. It’s disjointed and painful to watch and they should have just cut out the Situation’s part entirely. [via DListed]

Roasts are supposed to be obnoxious, they’re not supposed to be offensive on a level that is uncalled for. The late Greg Giraldo was such a pro at ripping on people using things we know about them and never stepping over that line. The Situation needs to take a step back and I hope that this puts a damper on some of the countless crap he’s trying to sell. Maybe he really is just an asshole and an unfunny one to boot.

Event photos are from 3/11/11. Credit: WENN.com

Donald Trump knows how to make the most out of even the stupidest little interview. Life & Style got their hands on Trump, my guess is to discuss the upcoming season of Celebrity Apprentice. Instead of just talking about the “celebrities” who are on this season, Trump decided to name-drop. Specifically, he decided to name-drop the Lohans. Just wait… it gets good.

Troubled star Lindsay Lohan was rumored to be a part of this season’s Celebrity Apprentice, but the Donald turned her down.

“[The Lohans] approached me, and we did talk about it. It’s just not the right time,” Donald Trump told Life & Style. “Lindsay has to straighten herself out first. And I know Dina, she’s a really lovely woman. I don’t think she gets very much credit — she’s tried. I know Michael a little bit. It could happen in the future, but right now we need to see Lindsay get straightened out.”

The new cast will include La Toya Jackson, Lisa Rinna, Hope Dworaczyk, Nikki Taylor, Star Jones, Dionne Warwick, Meatloaf, Gary Busey, Mark McGrath, David Cassidy, Richard Hatch, Jose Canseco, John Rich, Lil Jon, Nene Leakes and Marlee Matlin.

[From Life & Style]

First of all: hahahahahaha that Lindsay can’t even book a gig on Celebrity Apprentice. That alone is hilarious. But add to that Trump’s feelings on Dina – “I know Dina, she’s a really lovely woman. I don’t think she gets very much credit — she’s tried” – oh, it’s just a thing of beauty. Yes, Dina “tried”. Just like Nicole Kidman “tried” Botox. Dina “tried” to make her daughter into a towering, epic, mind-blowing crackhead. It took effort, people!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Are we at the point where we can just refer to Rachel Uchitel as a “whore”? I mean, she got paid $10 million from Tiger Woods to keep her mouth shut about their relationship – the affair that started all of Tiger’s scandals. And then she and her lawyer Gloria Allred tried to extort David Boreanaz for money or something too, after Rachel and David had something going on when his wife was pregnant. So, “whore” = a lady who gets paid for relationships, to put it nicely. But is being a whore good business? Donald Trump thinks so. He’s offered Rachel a “position” on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice. And she’s accepted Trump’s proposition. God knows, they probably knew each other in another life:

TMZ has learned Donald Trump is getting in on the action with Tiger Woods mistress numero uno Rachel Uchitel … because he’s offered her a job on the next season of “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

Trump — a longtime friend of Tiger’s — told TMZ he personally called Uchitel three weeks ago and offered her a spot on the show …. telling her she’d be “awesome.”

We called Uchitel and asked if she was going to take the offer — and she said, “Absolutely.”

We’re pretty confident she’ll excel in business — since she’s already proved she can handle the load.

NBC has the final say on whether Uchitel will be on the show, but Donald usually gets his way.

[From TMZ]

You know what? I think this is a dumb move by Rachel, and it shows her vulnerability. She’s vulnerable because she actually wants to be famous, she actually wants to be legitimate in a mainstream way. If I had gotten $10 million for doing the nasty with Tiger Woods (unfortunately not true, because I don’t work at Ho-Jo’s), I would just sit around, being rich and quiet and not giving a sh-t if anyone thought I was legit. Now we’re going to have to watch Rachel martyr herself on network television – and you know someone is going to get into it with her.

Header: Rachel on Decemeber 10, 2009. Credit: WENN.

The finale of Celebrity Apprentice was last night and Bret Michaels emerged the winner in the live event versus Holly Robinson Peete. Bret recently suffered a health crisis with a massive brain hemorrhage on April 21, about 10 days after he’d had an emergency appendectomy. He was out of the hospital and headed for a full recovery earlier this month, but suffered a setback with a minor stroke just last week. Michaels hung in there and was present for the finale of the show in NY. In case you think he got the sympathy vote for weathering such incredible health problems, many people said that he outperformed Peete in the final challenge and was consistently the best contestant overall. Peete of course held her own though, and won more money than anyone on the history of Celebrity Apprentice or regular Apprentice.

While most of the television-watching audience was trying to parse out whatever was happening during the finale of “Lost” on Sunday night (when was the last time you had a memory in the third person?), the real drama was going down a few clicks away on the season finale of “The Celebrity Apprentice.” In a dramatic two hours of rapid-fire reality TV, Bret Michaels and Holly Robinson Peete squared off in an epic duel that ended not only with Michaels’ amazing recovery but also with his Snapple-fueled victory.

Most people would assume that Michaels’ victory was simply a feel-good move by Donald Trump in order to provide a fitting end to what has been a great story that has accidentally incorporated the Poison frontman’s real-life health struggles. While Michaels seemed to be perfectly healthy on the live portions of Sunday night’s (May 23) episode, he was still in the hospital and in relatively ill health as late as Thursday of last week. But Michaels’ win was also because he simply did better in the challenge, out-dueling his opponent in just about every aspect the Snapple executives cared about (Michaels’ commercial, featuring former baseball great Darryl Strawberry wearing a beret and talking about pears, was especially excellent). Holly didn’t even seem that upset in the very professional boardroom scene, as though she knew that Michaels’ had outdone her (though you had to feel a little sad that her daughter was rooting for Bret and not for her).

Of course, the competition was just one aspect of last night’s show. The finale brought back all of the already-fired contestants (well, except for Sharon Osbourne and Bill Goldberg, whose absences were not explained at all), which reminded everybody why this season was so incredibly entertaining in the first place. Cyndi Lauper rolled around on a desk for reasons that nobody could quite figure out, and even though he didn’t say much of anything, Rod Blagojevich managed to look like he didn’t know where he was or what was going on (which is exactly what made him charming in the first place). And look! There’s Sinbad!

In the end, this season of “The Celebrity Apprentice” stood tall as one of the most surprising series of the television season. Though the two hour length was often punishing (even the finale felt just a touch soggy), it brought together some incredible personalities and put them in usually silly situations. And it also solidified Michaels’ as one of the finest stars of the celebrity genre (which, in 2010 terms, is about the equivalent of being the best hair metal frontman).

[From MTV]

With the Celebrity Apprentice title Michaels earned $250,000 for his charity, the American Diabetes association. On top of everything else, the 47 year-old singer suffers from Type 1 diabetes. Snapple, the sponsor of the final challenge, matched Michaels’ donation with a $250,000 gift to Peete’s cause, the HollyRod Foundation for autism awareness. Peete has a three year old son with autism.

I’m just glad the guy is ok and hope he takes it easy from now on. He’s been through so much and it can’t help to keep pushing himself like this. Hopefully he’ll rest and recuperate after his hard fought battle both in the hospital and the board room.

Here’s Bret discussing his medical condition. When asked about whether he’s risking his life to be on the show, Bret jokes that “lately it seems like me just standing up is risking my life.”

And here he is winning. Thanks to AOL Television for these clips.

This is such a bullsh-t scandal, I know. It’s one of those totally manufactured “scandals” that is all about cross-promoting. This one is for Donald Trump’s Miss USA pageant. I guess they were worried that people wouldn’t tune in unless they could top the “Carrie Prejean is a f-cking idiot” scandal from last year. Thus, all of the Miss USA contestants were forced (or given the opportunity) to pose in cheesy, lingerie-clad “glamour shots” as part of their Miss USA promotional stuff. These are some of the images – like budget Victoria’s Secret catalog stuff. Anyway, somebody said something about it being “too sexy” and immediately Donald Trump (who owns the pageant) defended the “glamour shots”.

Miss California (and Miss USA finalist) Carrie Prejean lost her crown when topless photos of her emerged last year.

But this year? The Miss USA pageant contestants pose in lacy lingerie and fishnet tights while rolling around in a bed for their official competition “glam” portraits.

Donald Trump, who owns the Miss Universe organization, defends the racy pics.

“We are in a different age. They are a little bit sexy but I’ll tell you what — everybody’s watching, so I have no problems with it,” Trump, 63, tells The Insider. “If you look at Miss America, it’s now off network television — and we’re doing better than ever, so I really have no problem with it.”

Continues Trump, “The Miss USA Pageant and the Miss Universe Pageant just got renewed for three years by NBC. The ratings have been terrific.”

Trump tells the New York Post that Prejean’s photos “were quite a bit different. There’s no open exposure [in the current Miss USA pictures]….they [are] very artsy and very beautiful.”

[From Us Weekly]

The problem wasn’t that Carrie Prejean posed for sexy photos, it’s that she lied and violated her contract by not informing the Miss USA pageant about her soft-core pornographic photos and her solo sex tapes. And that she was a hypocrite and a bigot. So I suppose Miss USA has changed their rules or whatever, and now the pageant is just going to be full-on cheesy, “sexy” posing in lingerie or swimsuits. Whatever. I’m not offended by the lingerie-clad contestants, I’m offended by the obvious effort to build this into a silly controversy.

Some of the Miss USA glamour shots, courtesy of Fox News.

Ha! This story just struck me as ridiculously funny, and I know that admitting that makes me a horrible person. Apparently, there’s a rumor going around Palm Beach, Florida that Donald Trump and his third wife, Melania, are having some relationship problems. The whole thing might stem from the fact that Donald seems to be spending more and more time alone in Palm Beach while Melania stays in New York with their nearly four-year-old son (I know, I keep thinking their kid is just a baby, but he’s turns four in March, despite this report claiming Barron is five). The Donald has already denied the alleged relationship trouble, but his hilarious denial kind of just added fuel to the fire when he claimed that Melania had to stay in New York with the kid because of school on Friday evenings. Seriously!

The Palm Beach Daily News which isn’t exactly known for wild speculation reported earlier this week that the marriage of Donald Trump is in trouble. The Donald says that just isn’t true and he told the newspaper that also. “There was a report in the Palm Beach Daily News that Melania and I are having problems, and it is 100% false, as I told them.”

The rumors started because Donald has been spending weekends alone in Palm Beach while his family stays behind in New York. His explanation for this is “Melania used to come with me to Palm Beach every weekend, but now that we have a young son, his school comes first.”

He went on to say that their five year old son has school on Friday evenings so the family has to stay in New York. OK, first things first here. I’m sure there are kids who have school in the evenings. But Friday evenings? Really? He is five. That part doesn’t make any sense. Second of all, if he is so enamored of his family why don’t they fly to Palm Beach after school ends? It isn’t like Donald is flying commercial. The plane leaves when he wants it to leave. The kid is five. How late is he staying in school at night? Finally, why is he going down every weekend? Stay at home with your family. Just because he is in school Friday evenings still leaves Saturdays and Sundays that the family could be together. I smell lots of trouble here.

[From Crazy Days and Nights via Gossip Rocks]

School on Friday evenings! Hilarious. When I was in college, it was difficult for me to make it to class on Thursday mornings, I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if classes were held on Friday evenings. Regardless of the “Friday evening school” shenanigans for a three-year-old (for real!), what do you think? Is there trouble is gold-plated paradise? I think there’s something there!

Question: does anyone even watch Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice” anymore? I haven’t watched it since the original Omarosa season. It just seemed so staged and fake to me. But I guess someone, somewhere is watching the “Celebrity” version of the reality show, because it’s back for another season. This year’s lineup of stars who compete on teams doing various “business” related challenges for charity includes that douchebag former governor, Rod Blagojevich. As if that’s not nauseating enough, the roster includes “Rock of Love” star Bret “This is my real hair, honest!” Michaels and former NY Met Darryl “Nose candy” Strawberry.

Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich wasn’t allowed to participate on I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! because he couldn’t leave the country, but he will be among 14 contestants on the new season of Donald Trump’s NBC show The Celebrity Apprentice, which kicks off March 14.

And no reality show would be complete these days without an Osbourne. Others competing for charity on the show include mama Sharon Osbourne, along with female competitors Cyndi Lauper, Holly Robinson Peete, Selita Ebanks, Maria Kanellis, Carol Leifer and Summer Sanders. The men include: Darryl Strawberry, Bret Michaels, Goldberg, Michael Johnson, Rod Blagojevich, Sinbad and Curtis Stone.

[From USA Today]

What the heck is Cyndi Lauper doing on this show? Girlfriend, you are so much better than this. I’m going to give Cyndi a little slack since I know she has some charities that are very important to her, including her own True Colors Fund, which supports gay/lesbian equality. As for the other “celebs,” I actually had to Google some of these people. Selita Ebanks is a Victoria’s Secret model. Maria Kanellis is a professional wrestler, and Curtis Stone is is an Australian chef. I wonder if Blagojevich, Michaels and Trump will have some kind of bad hairpiece challenge? I might tune in for that.

Before we get into the Donald Trump stuff, lets recap the past few weeks of Carrie Prejean‘s crap: Delusions, whines, sex tapes, inappropriate, Larry King, martyr complex, Jesus-y fake boobs, lies, lawsuits. Basically, Carrie Prejean has been caught in so many lies, I can’t even keep track of the stuff anymore. The latest being her sex tape. Allegedly, the “biggest mistake” of her life was making one solo tape and sending it to her boyfriend when she was allegedly underage. However, her boyfriend and most media outlets claim that Carrie was either nineteen or twenty when she made the tape… and, oh yeah, there are now eight tapes, allegedly, as well as a stash of “naked photos”. Here was Radar’s report on the tapes:

There are 30 nude photos and eight sex tapes of former Miss California Carrie Prejean, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

It’s the most shocking turn yet in a scandal that has continued to follow the woman whose anti-gay marriage stance led to a national controversy and pitted her against pageant organizers.

Stripped of her crown, Prejean sued the Miss California USA pageant but reportedly settled after the sex tape surfaced. She called the sex tape the biggest mistake of her life.

Now a RadarOnline.com investigation has uncovered that there are SEVEN more “biggest mistakes” of her life – all of them solo performances, just like the one sex tape that the religious beauty queen has admitted to. And there are 30 photos of Carrie, most topless, some showing everything, and most taken by Carrie using her reflection in a mirror.

On one tape Carrie is wearing just a flowing white blouse as she touches her own body in an alluring manner. Carrie can be heard moaning on a few of the tapes.

In her newly released book Carrie wrote, “God gave us our bodies, and it’s perfectly right that we use them in ways where we can give glory to God by making our bodies, our temples of the Holy Spirit, strong and fast.”

[From Radar]

After that, Radar put up another story claiming that they have proof Carrie was over 18 years old in the tapes and photos, but the story seems weird to me. They claim that Carrie’s lawyer has started wording the denials very carefully, and that they have a “source” who knows for sure that Carrie was older, and that the tapes and photos show tan lines. Which… you know, underage girls have tan lines and stuff, so it just seems like Radar is grasping. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that Carrie was over 18 years old, I just want Radar to stop trying so hard.

Anyway, that brings me to today’s story. According to Page Six, Carrie is going crazy with everyone calling her on her bullsh-t, so she’s been calling Donald Trump for advice. Trump’s advice? “She should become a major [pr0n] star, make millions of dollars, and give it to worthy causes.” Seriously.

Carrie Prejean has been calling Donald Trump, who owns the Miss Universe and Miss USA pageants, for advice on what she should do since she was fired as Miss California and a sex tape surfaced. Prejean — a Christian who was vilified because she opposes gay marriage — has lost all credibility and her reputation has been blown to shreds, Trump told one source. “Maybe,” Mr. Trump said only half-jokingly, “she should become a major [pr0n] star, make millions of dollars, and give it to worthy causes.”

[From Page Six]

This is one of the few times I agree with Trump. Carrie should just bite the bullet and allow Vivid Entertainment to release her tapes. She could even make a sweet deal that she would profit from enormously. But, the bad thing is that Carrie might have a bigger, more influential, more profitable career doing her faux-conservative/hypocrite shtick. It’s the new celebrity!

Carrie Prejean at the Today Show on November 10, 2009. Credit: Roger Wong/INFphoto.com