Ah, this is a good one. Kudos to Star Magazine for getting this photo of Angelina Jolie looking like Courtney Love and using it on a cover about how Angelina is in rehab for heroin addiction. Since Star Magazine hasn’t released any part of the cover story, my guess is that the whole thing is based on: Angelina being thin, Angelina looking tired, and all of that crap with Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew knows that every time he gives quotes about Brangelina, he’s guaranteed some attention, which is why he’s been issuing quotes about Angelina’s “heroin addiction” for years. His latest series of quotes was just a few weeks ago, and even though he gave some half-assed apology, the recent quotes have given the tabloids a reason to print a new round of “Angelina Jolie is a heroin addict, Brad cries on Aniston’s shoulder!” stories.

So is Angelina an addict? Was she ever? Or was she just a screwed up kid back in the day who used drugs and talked about it in interviews? Is Angelina still using now, as a mother of six, a UN goodwill ambassador and an in-demand actress? Ugh.

Cover courtesy of CoverAwards. Additional photos courtesy of WENN.

While our collective Christmases weren’t as Hermes-filled as Beyonce’s, all of us were doing better than Charlie Sheen. Yes, having avoided prison and any consequence for his coke-and-rage-filled actions, Charlie Sheen spent the holidays in the warm embrace of network love, too much money, paid companionship and blow. Somebody had a snowy Christmas! Ugh. According to Radar’s sources, Charlie blew (operative word) off all of his family obligations to spend the holidays in a never-ending “party” of hookers and cocaine. That’s our Charlie?

Charlie Sheen is partying hard once again and missed THREE family Christmas events as he lived the high life, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

One year after being arrested on domestic violence charges in Aspen, Colorado, the Two and a Half Men star was nowhere to be found at family events where he was expected.

“He skipped going to his brother Emilio’s, didn’t show up at Denise Richards’ house and also skipped seeing his daughter Cassandra,” a source close to the family told RadarOnline.com.

So where has Charlie been?

“He’s back partying again,” a source told us. “Although it’s tough to say he’s back partying because he never really quit!”

Sheen had a disastrous night partying with porn star Capri Anderson in New York, but that hasn’t slowed him. Anderson filed a criminal complaint claiming Sheen held her against her will and Sheen filed a lawsuit against her for extortion.

“He did a lot of cocaine that night,” a source close to that situation told RadarOnline.com, and Sheen hasn’t stopped.

“He likes hookers and he likes coke and he’s got enough money for both,” the source said.

While the star blew off the family events for Christmas he wasn’t suffering from holiday depression. “He’s been having a great time partying like crazy for the past several weeks,” the source said.

[From Radar]

I believe this. I don’t think Charlie “learned” any lesson from his experiences over the past year. It was just over a year ago that he beat the hell out of his wife and threatened her with a knife when they were blitzed out of their skulls, and Charlie skated. Then he locks a hooker in a hotel closet, trashes a hotel room and all the cops want from him is an autograph. When is Martin Sheen going to stage another intervention? Or has Martin thrown up his hands at Charlie at this point? Could be. If somebody doesn’t step up, Charlie’s downward spiral is just going to continue on throughout the year. Hookers and blow for everybody!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

More details are coming out about the incident at Lindsay Lohan’s halfway house in which she allegedly abused a staff member who busted her after she snuck out with some girlfriends to drink at a local bar. As is typical for Lindsay, her family has denied that she’s done anything wrong and are hard at work spinning their side of the story to celebrity outlets. They claim that Lindsay just pushed the female staff member in self defense, that she called 911 and that she supposedly passed a sobriety test administered by the Betty Ford Clinic.

Meanwhile the Betty Ford staffer, Dawn Holland, has spoken to TMZ. Holland makes it clear that Lindsay was wasted, violent, and refused a breathalyzer. The other two patients were compliant, according to her account. Holland granted a video interview to TMZ telling her side of the story. In the video Holland is wearing a brace on her wrist and claims that it was strained severely when Lindsay grabbed a phone out of her hand. Here’s the story from TMZ, and you can watch the video there.

The Betty Ford staffer who claims Lindsay Lohan assaulted her tells TMZ … Lindsay had been drinking before the incident and hurt her so badly, she’s now on workers’ comp.

Dawn Holland, who works as a chemical dependency technician at the Betty Ford Clinic, tells us on Sunday, December 12, just after 1 AM, Lindsay and two roommates came home from a night on the town … violating the curfew policy.

Holland says Lindsay and company jumped a wall, trying to get inside the place she was staying without being noticed. Holland says security stopped the three women, and that’s when Lindsay became belligerent and started swearing up a storm.

Holland says she was called to do a breathalyzer on the 3 women, but Lindsay refused and then pushed her. Holland says she went back in the house and Lindsay called 911 on the house phone.

Holland says she picked up another house phone to speak with 911, and Lindsay confronted her again and ripped the phone out of her hand, causing a severe sprain which caused Holland to go out on workers’ comp.

Holland says she could smell alcohol on Lindsay’s breath.

As for Lindsay’s claim Holland touched her first, she says, “I did not touch the woman.”

As TMZ first reported, Holland filed a police report and the cops are investigating Lindsay for criminal battery.

[From TMZ]

Holland also said she didn’t think Lohan has made progress at Betty Ford because she “has been defiant and broken just about every rule.” Holland claimed that she is out on workman’s comp. Radar reports that Holland admitted she was paid upwards of $10,000 for that interview by TMZ. Both Radar and TMZ report that Holland was fired for violating patient confidentiality by speaking to the press.

There are so many new stories coming out about this incident that it’s hard to cover them all. The jist is that Lindsay’s people are pulling the same old victim card that they always do and there’s little more to it than that. The official statement from Lindsay’s lawyer reads: “We are declining to comment on the underlying facts surrounding this incident, as we await the completion of the police investigation. It should be noted, however, that it was Ms. Lohan who called 911 to request police assistance at the time this incident occurred.” As if that means anything. Lindsay’s mother called 911 when Carvel refused to give her a free cake!

According to the latest report, and there are so many more, Lindsay claims she was “out getting her hair done” and wasn’t at a bar at all. Radar reports that while she did refuse a breathalyzer that evening, (and the Betty Ford incident report written by Holland states that Lindsay’s mom Dina told her in a phone call not to submit to one) she took one the next day and passed. Of course she did. This account from Holland is very typical of Lindsay and is in no way surprising, nor is Lindsay’s response.

Do not pass go, do not collect $200 Lindsay. I can’t believe that this girl has yet to spend more than a month in jail. She is not special, but it’s not hard to see how she keeps copping that attitude when she continually acts like this and gets so many damn chances. Lindsay is facing six months in jail for violating probation.

Yesterday, TMZ “broke” the story that Miley Cyrus is pretty much one of us. A friend of Miley’s (some friend) sold/gave TMZ a video of Miley smoking a bong on or around her 18th birthday, even though TMZ’s sources claim that Miley was smoking “salvia” – which is legal. I kind of thought she was smoking weed, but it’s debatable. By the way, if it was salvia, Radar’s experts claim that stuff has the same effect as LSD. I don’t know about you, but I would rather take a hit off of the gravity bong then trip my (metaphoric) balls off again. Anyway, the video was all over the place on Friday, even the news networks. So I guess The Mullet finally got a chance to see it, and boy was he “sad” about it. From Billy Ray’s Twitter:

[Spoketh The Mullet]

Eh. He’s “so sad.” Okay. I would also accept “disappointed” but really, is this the end of the world? I think if I was Miley’s father (shudder), I would be more upset about her constant cooter-flashing (on stage). Here’s what I think is really giving The Mullet a major case of The Sads: “There is much beyond my control right now.” Yes, The Mullet can no longer “control” his little girl. He no longer tells her who to date and who to hang out with and when to work and when to flash her cooter on stage. The Mullet has learned a valuable lesson today!

E! Pretty Wild star Alexis Neiers, 19, made headlines this May when she plead guilty for her role in burglarizing Orlando Bloom’s home as part of the young “Burglar Bunch” that targeted celebrity homes. Neiers insisted on the show that she was just hanging with the wrong crowd and in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was sentenced to six months in jail, of which she served just one month, not-so-coincidentally in a jail cell that was right next to Lindsay Lohan’s. (They had about five days of overlap when they were both incarcerated.) Like Lindsay, Alexis was separated from the general population due to her celebrity status. Also like Lindsay, Neiers doesn’t seem to have taken her probation seriously at all. She apparently failed to check in with her probation officers for a scheduled November meeting. As a result, they came to her house and searched it, finding heroin in her purse and a fake ID from Florida. Neiers was arrested and jailed without bail. She faces three years in jail for a probation violation.

A reality TV star who was jailed earlier this year for burglarizing Orlando Bloom’s house was arrested again Wednesday after authorities say they found her in possession of black tar heroin.

Alexis Neiers was taken into custody after officers went to her home for a compliance check and found the drugs and paraphernalia, said Los Angeles County Probation Department spokeswoman Kerri Webb.

Webb said officers also found Neiers with a Florida driver’s license in another name with a false age.

The aspiring model, who was on the E! Entertainment Television show “Pretty Wild,” is being held without bail. She is being held on suspicion of possession of a controlled substance and drug paraphernalia and identity theft.

The 19-year-old spent 30 days of a six month sentence in jail this year after pleading no contest to burglarizing Bloom’s house as part of a group accused of several celebrities’ home break-ins. Her court case was prominently featured on the E! show.

A call to her attorney, Jeffrey K. Rubenstein, was not immediately returned. No new court date has been set yet.

[From AP via Huffington Post]

Neiers’ mom told E! that it was all a misunderstanding, and that “She was not arrested or being charged with possession as far as I know… [Alexis] did not check into her probation meeting last month and there was some confusion over her address because she had two addresses listed for the location where she was living. They tried to reach her, and she did not respond.” She added “I am just disappointed because we don’t need to go through this ridiculousness again.” She sounds just like Dina Lohan, doesn’t she? I’ve seen a couple episodes of this show and the mom acts more like a friend to her three daughters than any kind of authority figure. I’m sure in her mind it’s all someone else’s fault that her 20 year-old daughter was robbing houses, doing heroin, and is going to be sentenced to jail for the second time this year.

Mug shot via E! Online. Love the ironic T-shirt.

Country Singer Willie Nelson, 77, was arrested and charged for pot possession in Texas at a border patrol stop. Cops allegedly found 6 ounces of marijuana on Nelson’s tour bus, and he is said to have admitted it was his. Nelson was carted away to the county jail, where he was freed on $2,500 bail. If he’s convicted, Nelson faces a minimum of six months in jail! The county sheriff seems to relish the though, and told the El Paso Times that if Nelson ends up in his jail he’s going to be treated the same as any other inmate.

Country-music legend Willie Nelson was arrested Friday in Texas and charged with marijuana possession after police allegedly found six ounces of marijuana on his tour bus.

The bus was stopped at the Border Patrol checkpoint in Sierra Blanca, east of El Paso, reports the El Paso Times. He posted bond and was released.

Nelson, 77, was headed from California to Austin, where he owns a ranch.

Nelson could face a minimum of six months in prison if convicted. Hudspeth County sheriff Arvin West told the El Paso Times that Nelson would be treated like any inmate if incarcerated in his jail.

“He could get 180 days in county jail, which if he does, I’m going to make him cook and clean,” West said. “He can wear the stripy uniforms just like the other ones do.”

TMZ.com reported that Nelson could argue that he forgot the marijuana was on the bus when he left California, where medical marijuana is legal.

[From People]

I thought this guy was at least 10 years younger. It must be all the herb keeping him young. I hope that Nelson gets off on a technicality. 1/2 pound 7 ounces of pot is a huge amount, and chances are high (haha) that it wasn’t just Nelson’s and that he’s taking the fall for his entire crew. Nelson is a longtime supporter of medical marijuana, and marijuana legalization. It doesn’t make sense that pot hasn’t been at least decriminalized in the US. Let’s hope that this kind peace-loving old legend is in no way made an example of.

A couple of weeks ago, Us Weekly had a big event for something… and some of the most budget celebrities out there came to celebrate. This is how budget it was – Ke$ha was the biggest “name”. When I covered the photos from the event, I included a photo of Brooke Mueller, noting that she was “back on drugs” (my words). Honestly, though, there’s a question in my mind as to whether she was ever really “off” of drugs – while married to Charlie Sheen, she allegedly had a problem with cocaine and crack, and she’s been showing up at various events for months and months looking loaded. Even more recently, Brooke has been partying with Paris Hilton – a really bad sign. So is it surprising that Team Mueller (poor bastards) is trying to keep the lid on everything by denying, denying, denying?

Brooke Mueller, ex-wife of Charlie Sheen, is shooting down Internet reports that she checked into rehab over Thanksgiving weekend.

“I did not go to rehab. The story is ridiculous,” she told UsMagazine.com Saturday night at Dan Tana’s restaurant in L.A. “I am healthy and happy.”

Reports claimed Mueller, who has previously done stints in rehab, was taken to a treatment facility Thanksgiving morning following wild partying with Paris Hilton, with whom she is currently shooting an Oxygen reality show.

But a source tells Us she is “clean and sober. Everything is going really well for her. She is focusing on the twins and being a good mom. She is really excited about her new show with Paris.”

[From Us Weekly]

I would have to be high beyond belief to hang out with Paris Hilton. So the idea that Brooke is partying with Paris while sober upsets me even more than the idea that Brooke is back on the pipe. Of course, I do believe that Brooke is back on the pipe. Her eyes are saying to me “Where can I score?”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As we’ve previously noted, Lindsay Lohan’s crack hustle worked, and she was given a “work pass” from rehab so that she could meet with producers and crew for Inferno. But did you also now that she had oral surgery? She did, according to Radar. And when the dealer dentist offered to give her the motherload of drugs, Lindsay sat primly and whispered “No.” So say “sources.” But I have a different theory that I’ll talk about in a sec.

Photos surfaced on Thursday of Michael Lohan peering inside Lindsay’s mouth and it’s because the actress had dental surgery and is refusing to take painkillers, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively.

“Lindsay had tooth surgery this week,” a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com. “She had teeth removed and won’t even take any painkillers for the pain.”

According to the insider, Lindsay is so dedicated to the rehabilitation of her substance abuse problems she’s doing everything she can to stay on track – quite a difference from just 5 months ago when the starlet had her wisdom teeth removed and took the powerful painkiller Dilaudid to deal with the pain.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Lindsay has been at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California since September where she’s been undergoing treatment for cocaine addiction.

“She’s taking her time at Betty Ford very seriously,” the source said.

The 24-year-old Mean Girls actress reunited with her father Michael this week for the first time in seven months when the two were spotted shopping at a local Palm Desert mall, and Wednesday at a movie theater.

This is the troubled starlet’s fifth time in a rehab facility, but insiders tell RadarOnline.com that Lindsay and her family are hopeful that her time at Betty Ford is doing the trick.

[From Radar]

Here’s what I think – I think this “work pass” came at a very convenient time for Lindsay, it came at a time when she knew she would ALREADY have drugs in her system from oral surgery. Yes, I am a hater, but as a gossip blogger, I feel like I’ve been dealing with Lindsay’s neverending crack drama, crack hustle and crack lies for YEARS. At this point, I can see the crack hustle before it is upon me. So I don’t think Lindsay “refused” the drugs. I think she took whatever prescription she was offered, and then got her “work pass” and is probably snorting a line right now. Just my theory.

Also a theory: the Betty Ford Clinic is not giving her “lip injection passes”. Her lips are going back to normal. Although there is no normal in this cracked out family.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Since getting herself tucked away at the Betty Ford Clinic, Lindsay Lohan has been trying out various crack schemes to get herself out of the joint. This is in spite of all of the happy-sober talk coming out of Shawn Chapman Holley and Dina Lohan, who both seem to think that whenever Lindsay goes into rehab, the detoxification process washes over her instantaneously and she’s “cured” within 24 hours. When Lindsay had to go back into court a few weeks ago, she even lied to the judge, claiming that she needed to be out of rehab so she could work and pay her bills, claiming poverty (PETA later volunteered to pay her bills). As it turns out, she was still managing to “work” just fine in rehab, and as for crying poverty… well, she’s still managing to shop, and she hasn’t had to hawk any of that jewelry she’s stolen throughout The Crack Years. Lindsay’s latest hustle is trying to convince the Betty Ford Clinic to give her a day-pass to meet with actors and producers for Inferno, the Linda Lovelace bio-pic that no one but Lohan wants to touch:

Lindsay Lohan is working on getting a “work pass” so that she can get out of rehab to discuss her next movie Inferno before her January 3 release date, RadarOnline.com has learned.

The Mean Girls star is currently staying at a sober living home close to The Betty Ford Clinic in Rancho Mirage, California where she has been receiving treatment in recent weeks. Inferno director Matthew Wilder has been in constant contact with Lohan during her rehabilitation.

Wilder told RadarOnline.com: “Lindsay is happy and I have been sending her some films starring several actors that we would like to cast alongside her in our movie. She just received them so we are still waiting for her feedback but we really want her to be part of the whole experience even although she is not physically here in Los Angeles.”

“Lindsay told me that she is working to get a work pass so that she can get out and meet us to discuss the project. Obviously, she would probably need some kind of monitor and I think that she feels cooped up sometimes which is understandable.”

Despite the ongoing struggles, Wilder says the actress “seems to be doing well” and is still “excited about Inferno.”

Lohan was sent back to rehab on October 22 by Judge Elden Fox and was ordered to stay in the rehab program until January 3, 2011.

If she successfully completes her treatment program and does not fail anymore random drugs test then Wilder and his producers are hoping to start filming Inferno as quickly as they can.

[From Radar]

Yes, I’m sure Lindsay’s input is invaluable to the casting process, not to mention all of the pre-production tweaking that needs to… wait, where did she go? Where’s Lindsay? Oh, she’s in the bathroom with that sketchy drug dealer? What’s that sound? Why is she sniffling? Does she have a cold? Can someone get Lindsay some cough medicine? Oh, meth. I’m sure that will do.

See how easy that was? I keep saying it, and no one listens: The Crackhead needs to be LOCKED DOWN.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The more we hear about Demi Lovato’s “breakdown” the more it seems like Demi was in much bigger trouble than her parents and handlers realized. Even now, the “official” story of Demi’s “treatment” is PR-friendly, and her handlers are trying to make it sound like the girl just has some emotional problems and she needs some sleep. Followers of blind items and fans of the nastier gossip have felt pretty strongly that Demi was into some really hardcore sh-t – cocaine, binge drinking, sex with Wilmer Valderrama, and probably much more. Life & Style has a new story in this week’s issue about Demi’s cocaine abuse (back when she was 17 years old), and they’ve gotten “eyewitness” testimony:

The intense pressure on Demi Lovato reached a breaking point when reps for the young star announced she “left her tour to seek medical treatment for emotional and physical issues she has dealt with for some time,” issues such as cutting and eating disorders.

Now, new eyewitnesses confirm to Life & Style those problems are only exacerbated by the teenager’s heavy drinking and partying. Texas college student Brian Payne clearly remembers the night he spent hanging with Demi in North Richland Hills, Texas, where he saw her firsthand doing cocaine at a mutual friend’s house party on Dec. 28 last year.

“She was doing line after line like a pro — and she was 17 at the time,” he tells Life & Style, recalling the wild party they attended after a concert by the band Neon Indian at the Granada Theater in Dallas. “I just remember her doing it as if she had been doing it for a long time. It didn’t seem like something new to her.”

Insiders say the pain of her breakup with Joe Jonas — and the fact that they’re on the Camp Rock 2 tour together — further fueled her downward spiral. “Demi’s been on a tear lately,” says an insider. “She’ll chug booze straight from the bottle.”

Luckily for Demi, her mother and stepfather were quick to take action after they heard that she had punched a tour backup dancer in the face.

“They overheard one of the dancers talking about it and freaked out,” says the insider. “They heard Demi was drinking, but the news that her partying was getting out of control shocked them — and they confronted her immediately.”

“This is a young girl who got caught up in the fame and fortune of Hollywood and couldn’t see straight anymore,” says another insider. “She had eating issues and emotional issues, and everything else got hitched along with that.”

[From Life & Style]

I believe it, all of it. Except one part – I think her parents have known for a long time that Demi has had serious issues, and they only stepped in to do something when her alcohol and drug abuse became so bad it threatened their paychecks. I think Demi has had emotional, drug and alcohol problems for years, and the “airport meltdown” incident was only her latest cry for help. Sad.