Jessica following John Mayer around like a puppy when he was on tour in January, 2007
More stories and theories are emerging regarding the recent and still unconfirmed Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo breakup. Us Weekly reports that even though Jessica has been blabbing about her love for Romo to anyone within earshot, the pop singer is still licking her wounds from being so publicly dumped by John Mayer. When Jessica saw pics of Mayer and Jennifer Aniston splashed all over the tabloids, she went into a full scale meltdown, complete with binge drinking and some vomit. That same night, Romo was seen partying solo in a club in Chicago.

Jessica Simpson got good and drunk as John Mayer, the guy who broke her heart, went public with his new relationship with Jennifer Aniston last week.

The 27-year-old singer was so out of it after a four-hour session of drinking at L.A.’s Mexicali Cocina Cantina on May 10 – which started at the pre-happy hour of 4 p.m. with BFF CaCee Cobb and her beau Donald Faison – that she was reduced to leaving her Range Rover in the parking lot and calling her mom Tina for a ride home, Us reports (for good measure, CaCee Cobb threw up under the table); that same night, Us Weekly also reports that beau Tony Romo partied solo in Chicago and was overheard telling friends he was single again.

Across the country, Mayer and Aniston went public with their relationship – holding hands and kissing affectionately at the Marley & Me cast party in Miami.

[From Us Weekly]

If the reports are true, Jessica took the breakup with Mayer very badly, and continued to call him and e-mail after he dumped her. It wouldn’t surprise me if she is still hung up on the guy- though I can’t understand what these women see in him, personally. It does make sense that seeing your ex, who was a commitment phobe while dating you, now lovey dovey with someone else would send you into a tailspin. Maybe Jessica should take a break from guys for a while, figure out who she is, and be a lot more careful about being so public with who she dates. Oh, and the binge drinking sessions probably aren’t helping, either.

Sandra Bullock and her husband, Monster Garage host Jesse James, were in a head-on collision in Gloucester, Massachusetts on Friday. A member of Bullock’s security team was driving a rented SUV near the East Gloucester Square Laundry when 64-year-old Lucille Gatchell – who was drunk of her ass - crossed lanes in her a Subaru wagon and veered into oncoming traffic. She slammed her car head first into Bullock and James’ SUV. Luckily they were only doing about 15-20 mph at the time, and walked away unhurt.

Gloucester - The alleged drunken driver involved in a head-on collision with an SUV carrying actress Sandra Bullock failed four field sobriety tests and had a blood-alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit, police said. The accident brought gawkers with flash cameras into the streets of Gloucester and prompted global headlines. Many expressed relief that the sweetheart actress avoided injury in the ugly episode.

“Her eyes were bloodshot and glassy. Her speech was extremely slurred as she spoke.” Hussey [Bullock’s driver] “was trying to avoid her car, but it was in his lane,” Mackey said yesterday. During sobriety tests, Gatchell nearly fell over three times while trying to walk nine steps and turn, the report states. A Breathalyzer test recorded Gatchell’s blood-alcohol level as .20, more than twice the legal limit of .08, the report states.

“After I arrested her, I had her in the cruiser,” said Mackey. “I said, ‘Do you realize who you hit? She asked, ‘Who?’ I said, ‘Sandra Bullock.’ She was almost giggling and laughing. She said, ‘My first drunk driving and I hit Sandra Bullock.’

[From the Boston Herald]

What a jackass thing to say. And do. Unfortunately Ms. Gatchell was released on her own recognizance from jail. The police officer interviewed by the Herald noted that Sandra seemed very concerned for the drunken woman who could have killed her – even though Ms. Gatchell seemed to find the whole situation pretty damn funny.

“She was very concerned about the lady in the other car. She said, ‘Is she OK? Is she OK?’ ” said Mackey. “After I arrested (Gatchell), I walked past Miss Bullock. She felt bad. You could tell by the look on her face.”

[From the Boston Herald]

I’m so disgusted by that woman’s response I can’t even come up with anything decent to say. It’s probably due to the state of massive inebriation, but since Lucille Gatchell chose to drink she’s responsible for everything she does and says thereafter. Obviously the accident could have been much worse, and it’s very lucky that everyone in Sandra Bullock’s vehicle came out unscathed. Hopefully Ms. Gatchell will choose to make better decisions in the future.

Here’s Lucile Gatchell, who was charged with operating under the influence and marked lane violations. Header of Sandra between scenes while filming ‘The Proposal’ in Rockport, MA on April 10th. Images thanks to Splash.

Star has a truly bizarre story about “Grey’s Anatomy” star Justin Chambers engaging in some really questionable behavior at a bar recently. A few months ago - around the same time Britney Spears was hospitalized for her myriad of mental issues - Chambers made a statement that he was suffering from a severe sleep disorder and had checked himself into the same UCLA psych ward as Spears. It was assumed that he’d only informed the press since Spears was around, which increased his likelihood of somehow being discovered in a psych ward. Were it not for Britney, I doubt anyone would ever have noticed. It seems that Chambers was making a preemptive strike and letting reporters know why he was there. But something about the whole thing seemed a little off. Now Star has a story that either verifies that Chambers has some severe sleep issues, or makes you wonder if he’s got some other problems going on.

…when a Star eyewitness saw the married father of five 26 days after he was treated — at the Village Pub in tony Palm Springs, Calif. — sleep didn’t seem to be a problem as he drifted in and out of consciousness (at the bar!), rambled incoherently, annoyed patrons and even hit on a waitress!

“Everyone thought Justin was drunk because he kept passing out at his table,” the eyewitness tells Star. “But when I asked the bartender what they’d been serving him, she swore it was only non-alcoholic beer! He was acting as if he was on drugs, like some kind of downers. His eyes were glazed over. He slurred his words and staggered when he tried to walk,” the eyewitness added. “At one point, he was hunched over a table, then abruptly woke up and shouted out of the blue, ‘I am a father of five kids! I am a damn good father! Leave me alone!’ It was really unsettling.”

And that’s not all! Justin, who was without his wife Keisha, began hitting on a waitress! When she showed no interest, he slapped money out of her hand. “As she picked it up off the floor, he said, ‘That’s right, bitch, that’s where you belong. Pick up the money!’”

[From Star]

This story could legitimately make a person think, “Wow, he’s clearly got other issues and that sleep disorder thing was just a cover,” or it could make you say, “Wow, that sleep disorder is clearly not under control yet.” Lots of prescription sleep medications could explain a good deal of Chamber’s behavior (though the thing with the waitress is pretty hard to account for), and the sleep disorder itself could be the cause of Chambers’ nodding off. A ton of sleeping pills have the side effect of daytime sleepiness. But many of the things Chambers supposedly said seem pretty odd, unless he was so groggy and out of it that he just didn’t know what was coming out of his mouth. If any of this is attributable to the sleep disorder or medication for it, you’d think his wife would have kept him home. Which makes you wonder what’s really going on with the guy.

Update by Celebitchy: People has a new story that Chambers will open up in their new issue about his sleep disorder, calling it “a biological sleep disorder. Your mind keeps racing, and your body is tired. It wants to go to sleep, but it can’t.” If he is on Ambien it could potentially explain his behavior at the bar. My husband used to take it and he would stay up at night and do things like make a sandwich or get online and completely forget about it the next day, asking me if I was the one who left the dishes out.

Here’s Justin Chambers at the Enchanted World Premiere on 11/17/07. Images thanks to PR Photos.

There has been a buzz building for the last few weeks that our favorite rehab fixture, Lindsay Lohan, has fallen off the wagon in a big way. In January, the starlet was videotaped sneaking chugs of champagne straight from the bottle in a club in Italy, but her lawyer insisted she “called her sponsor and got back on track.” Now, sources close to Lohan say she’s up to her old tricks again.

Lindsay Lohan has fallen off the wagon so many times, she should be covered with bruises! And sources reveal she’s up to her old tricks of trying to hide her drinking.

The troubled 21-year-old actress–who did three stints in rehab last year– is filling water bottles with booze and asking friends to hide alcohol bottles for her at clubs, according to insiders.

“Lindsay thinks she’s pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes, but it’s obvious that she’s drinking again big time,” an insider told the Enquirer.

The “Mean Girls” star boozed it up at the trendy Los Angeles hotspot Avalon on February 8, according to the source…

…”She was sitting at a table topped with different kinds of juices, water and one of her favorite beverages- the energy drink Red Bull. But she had people stash bottles of Grey Goose vodka under the table.”

Lindsay’s party pals poured vodka into the Red Bull, then quickly slipped the Grey Goose back under the table, said the source.

“I saw Lindsay down close to 10 Red Bulls that night,” the insider revealed. “And a clubgoer told me that she’d been watching Lindsay all night- and she’d take a big slurp of Grey Goose when she thought no one was looking.”

Four nights later, Lindsay partied at the club Villa, where an eyewitness from the x17 photo agency says that Lindsay “was drinking vodka cocktails- several of them. She is not sober anymore. I know this for sure.”

[From The National Enquirer, print version, March 3, 2008]

Meanwhile, video footage of Lindsay falling down as she left the Villa nightclub that night is steadily making its way around the Internet. Many sobriety experts say vodka is the alcohol of choice for secret drinkers because they think it’s odorless, and can mix in with juices and water because it’s colorless.

Star says Lindsay can’t even help herself while dining with friends in a restaurant:

Lindsay Lohan ordered water and tried to act demure during dinner with friends at West Hollywood’s Madeo restaurant on Valentine’s Day. But it didn’t last long. “One of her pals was drinking wine, and she was sneaking sips of it under the table,” says a witness.

In public, Lindsay is keeping up a facade of sobriety, but her friends say she’s partying again. During the week of February 11, Lindsay holed up with pals at the Beverly Hills Hotel. “It was a wild party,” says an onlooker. “People were smoking pit and doing coke all night.”

“Lindsay is a really nice girl,” says a pal. “She’s also very lonely and insecure. She hates to be alone and she’s terrified of the dark. She’s like a little kid. And the worst thing is, no one helps her.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, March 3, 2008]

Here’s some free advice for you, Linds: If you want to stay sober, STAY THE HELL OUT OF NIGHTCLUBS, YOU IDIOT!! But something tells me that not only does Blohan NOT want to stay sober– she never was.

Note by Celebitchy: Lindsay Lohan was photographed outside an AA meeting this week, and while part of me wants to give her credit the other part thinks it’s just damage control due to the tabloid reports which came out earlier in the week. She also talks at length in the March, 2008 issue of Paper about how she got sober. She also says that she was up for a role in a movie about silent screen star Clara Bow, but since she was in rehab and all it went to Sienna Miller. STFU Lindsay. I’m no fan of Miller but she’s a better actress than you are and she actually shows up to work.

Here are photos from Lohan’s Paper Magazine spread, thanks to Linds-Lo.com. Look - she’s wearing the same dress Kate Hudson did to the Fool’s Gold premiere. That’s what it needed - a belt.

Matt Lauer interviewed Kathleen Turner on “The Today Show” this morning and the 53 year-old actress looked less than sober. She licked her lips repeatedly and slurred her words, bobbing her head and gesturing with her hands.

Turner was on the show to promote her upcoming biography, “Send Yourself Roses” in which she talks about her life and loves and dishes on her leading men including Burt Reynolds, Anthony Perkins, and Nicholas Cage. Cage is suing her for her claims she made about him in the book. She says he was difficult on the set of their film Peggy Sue Got Married, and that he stole a chihuahua and was arrested twice for drunk driving. Cage says he’s never been arrested nor has he ever dog napped, and that his former co-star’s claims are damaging to his reputation.

In her biography Turner talks about her battle with alcoholism and says that she turned to vodka to cope with the pain from rheumatoid arthritis. She said that she preferred that people thought that her problem was drinking and not a disease, because auto-immune disorders were still largely misunderstood and kept secret. From the looks of her in this video, she’s still having some issues with either alcoholism or prescription medication. Get well soon, Kathleen. You’re sounding and behaving like Paula Abdul.

Update: Many commentors have pointed out that Turner could be showing signs of her debilitating rheumatoid arthritis or the medication she legitimately takes for it and that it is unfair to judge her based on this. Others says she does look drunk and they recognize the signs. Whatever is going on with her, she is awesome for writing this book and promoting it.

When I first saw the headline for this story on The Huffington Post, which reads “Lance Armstrong Throws A Hissy Fit At Texas Bar,” I assumed it was a clearcut case of a celebrity acting like an ass and thinking that the world should bend over backwards for them. Other examples of celebrities getting shot down when they demanded special treatment at drinking establishments include Sienna Miller’s “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” shriek in Pittsburgh when she was denied for lack of ID, and Woody Harrelson’s drunken bloody fight with two bouncers after he was told not to leave with wineglasses in hand.

The story is that Armstrong was sternly told by the bouncer at a sold-out Austin show at a bar not to leave with a drink. He then got all up in the bouncer’s face with the old “I’ll have you fired” line. In this version of events, Armstrong comes off as an asshole with a sense of entitlement, but at least he wasn’t physically abusive.

Backstage door man Sean Higgins, obviously not concerned with the celebrity of the person who was breaking the law, quickly ran over to Armstrong and his pal and rather forcefully made it clear that the guys could not walk off with drinks. Armstrong at first seemed surprised and briefly cordial, but that soon gave way to fierce indignation. Having taken the drinks from Armstrong and friend, Higgins returned to his post at the door. But, possibly due to being called out in front of a few dozen people, Armstrong, apparently having taken exception to the manner in which Higgins was performing his job, would not go quietly into that good night.

He returned to the door, full of sound and fury. Higgins, who has worked at the Backstage Bar for four-and-a-half years, made it quite clear that he had no interest in Armstrong’s celebrity or defense of his actions. Armstrong, not willing to drop the issue, flailingly tried to retake whatever sense of pride he apparently felt was taken from him, by berating Higgins while his friends stood at his side. With a finger that came inches from Higgins’ face, Armstrong, according to Higgins, let loose a series of threats that concluded with the time-worn threat of “You’ll never work at this bar again.” Higgins, who apparently didn’t get the memo that nobody puts Lance in the corner, scoffed at the irate Armstrong, who then left to a series of under-breath cat calls and one patron labeling Armstrong as overrated (the cleanest of the insults softly launched his way.) Bizarre end to an excellent night. I’m sure Higgins is on Career Builder as I type. (Not really.)

[From Austin360.com]

It sounds like Armstrong was provoked but that he didn’t handle it well. What he did handle with grace was a follow-up statement. Armstrong called the author of the original blog article on Austin 360, which is the Entertainment section of Austin newspaper The Austin American Statesman, and owed up to the incident and apologized. He also gave his side of the story, saying he was manhandled but that he overreacted. He could have had his publicist fax in a statement to US Weekly, but he personally called the author and it comes off as much more sincere:

“Listen, I was totally out of line,” Armstrong said.

Although Armstrong says he was in the wrong, he felt that the door man in question could have handled the situation better, as well. “You know, give us a warning. He walked over and nearly tackled us as if he had warned us four or five times. He was so aggressive without any warning. Believe me, man, if somebody says, ‘You can not take these beers out of here,’ I’ll just throw them away or go back inside. I’ve got no problem with that. I wasn’t looking for any special rules or treatment.”

Armstrong confessed that despite feeling he wasn’t given any warning before being confronted, he should have responded differently. “I don’t need to do that (respond the way he did), though. Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

[From Austin360.com]

The Huffington Post didn’t link directly to the source, they linked to another reporting site, Austinist, which has not yet updated with Armstrong’s statement of contrition, so it’s likely that this story might get picked up by other outlets and reported with only one side. It was a minor incident at a crowded bar with an overzealous bouncer, but since a celebrity is involved it’s big news. At least Armstrong responded well afterwards and it never came to blows.

Armstrong is shown below running the 2007 NY Marathon, which he finished in under three hours. It was his second marathon after running the same course in 2006, and he finished 13 minutes faster after a lot of training. 36 year-old Armstrong is arguably the worlds most celebrated cyclist, having won the Tour De France seven years in a row, from 1999 to 2005. He has repeatedly been accused of using performance-enhancing drugs, but only tested positive once in 1999 for traces of corticosteroids. He had a medical certificate showing that he used a topical steroid cream that was authorized to treat saddle sores.

Armstrong is now retired from cycling and trained for the marathon in order to keep up his physical condition. He called the 2006 marathon “the hardest physical thing I have ever done.” He is a cancer survivor after undergoing successful treatment for testicular cancer in 1996, and went on to found the Lance Armstrong Foundation to benefit cancer patients.

Armstrong is shown in the header at Stand Up For Skateparks on 10/7/07. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

48 year-old actress Sean Young, whose career has stalled following a series of crazy stunts and a general reputation of being unstable, didn’t do herself any favors over the weekend at the Director’s Guild Awards. She was escorted out by security after repeatedly heckling presenters and award winners.

Apparently over-served actress Sean Young was thrown out of the Directors Guild of America awards in Los Angeles after getting into a drunken argument with director Julian Schnabel as he delivered a speech.

“She yelled out, ‘Hurry up with the speech,’ and he looked like Raging Bull. He shot back, ‘Have another cocktail sweetheart, or would you rather finish my speech for me?’” a witness to Saturday night’s row said.

“The entire room gasped,” the insider continued.

“He almost charged off without finishing his speech, to the point where the music started to play. But he calmed himself and came back and finished.”

Young, 48, who was sitting at Helen Hunt’s table near the front, also heckled “La Vie en Rose” actress Marion Cotillard - in French; and she became unruly during a video clip of George Clooney.

“Her date was whispering to her that she was drunk, and she would push him off and slur, ‘No, you’re drunk. I’m not leaving. YOU leave!’” the witness said.

Young, a former model, achieved fame with roles opposite Harrison Ford in “Blade Runner” (1982) and Kevin Costner in “No Way Out” (1987).

But her feisty temperament began costing her work, and a 1988 romance with “The Boost” co-star James Woods famously ended with him suing her for harassment.

[From NY Daily News]

I remember reading a lot of dirt on how Young went crazy after James Woods dumped her and mailed him photos of dead animals. Defamer points us to this interview with her in Entertainment Weekly that chronicles the decline of her career along with the allegations by Woods. She compared herself to Jodie Foster, who was harassed by Reagan’s would-be assassin John Hinckley and said that “[The Woods story] boils down to two people plotting to set me up and make me look like I was a crazy person, partially because of their own mental illness, partially because of revenge,” and “How many actresses do you know whose leading man and leading man’s girlfriend have sued them? And what was Hinckley? What do those two things have in common?” Craziness? “That’s right. And what do you think that does to a person? You either get it together real fast, or you get eaten up by it.”

Defamer reminds us that Young famously appeared on the The Joan Rivers Show in a catsuit trying to land the role of catwoman that ultimately went to Michelle Pfeiffer. She also showed up at Warner Brothers offices dressed in full catwoman gear vying for the role. It’s a wonder she was passed up.

Here’s the video of her on The Joan Rivers show, thanks to Defamer for linking it. It doesn’t have sound:

Thanks to Access Hollywood for the photos of Young on the night in questions.

In the last two or three years it’s become apparent that a DUI is the new… crap, what did washed up, former D-list celebrities do to get attention before the DUI craze? I really do think it’s a craze. There’s no way so many celebs have just suddenly started “accidentally” drinking too much and getting behind the wheel. If anyone can afford a cab… or a driver… it’s these morons we keep reading about. Apparently former child stars you barely remember are hopping on the bandwagon. “Boy Meets World” star Danielle Fishel, aka Topanga, got arrested on a DUI warrant last Thursday.

Danielle Fishel, the erstwhile tween costar of ABC’s Boy Meets World, was picked up last week in Orange County for a warrant in a drunken-driving case. The 26-year-old actress, an O.C. native, was pulled over shortly before 5 a.m. Thursday morning in Newport Beach for a warrant that had been issued in Los Angeles. “It was a pretty simple arrest,” Sgt. Randy Querry of the Newport Beach Police Department told the local Daily Pilot newspaper, adding that Fishel was not drunk at the time of her arrest.

She was booked into the Newport Beach jail and released several hours later. No further details of the warrant or original drunken-driving case were immediately available.

[From E! News]

Aside from “Boy Meets World,” Fishel is most known for “secretly” dating Lance Bass when he was in Nsync. I say “secretly” because the band members weren’t allowed to officially have girlfriends, lest they drive their teenage fans away. I’m guessing Lance might have had a few reasons of his own for keeping the relationship under wraps. I’m not sure if Danielle Fishel just didn’t know Lance was gay or if she made him gay. And if this led her to drink 0is also a matter of speculation. Just kidding, just kidding, don’t yell. I love it when washed up stars do bad things. Next up: Tiffany Brissette, the actress who played the little robot girl in “Small Wonder.” You know being mistaken for a robot must have left her with some serious issues.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Danielle Fishel is shown in the header at Randy Jones from The Village People’s birthday party on 9/8/07, and with her ex Lance Bass at the one year anniversary of club Tenjune on 9/6/07, thanks to Splash News.

Both The National Enquirer and sister publication Star Magazine are reporting that Lindsay Lohan is drinking again, with witnesses seeing her boozing at a party in Long Island over Thanksgiving with her then-boyfriend, Riley Giles. Star takes it a step further to quote a witness who claims she was begging for Xanax and cocaine from her friends, and then hooked up with a drug dealer. They also say she caught Riley having sex outside the party in the woods that night with a girl he just met! Lindsay was screaming and freaking out at Riley, and although she went home with him that night they broke up shortly afterwards.

“Almost as soon as she landed [in NY on November 18], she called up all her old friends and asked if they had any Xanax and blow [cocaine],” says her pal. “She really hounded them and begged!…

“Everyone I know said know, but she kept asking. She wanted them to come to her, but then she said she’d come to them. No one would do it….

“Finally, she met up with a drug deal named Chris,” says the source. “He’s well known in New York, and they spent some time together. Nothing good comes out of hanging with Chris.”

Another source confirms that Lindsay and Chris spent several house “behind closed doors” together. “She was with Chris, yeah,” says the insider. “She’s known him for a while.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 17, 2007]

People say Lindsay was “out of her mind wasted,” and maybe it helped blunt the pain of being so publicly humiliated by getting cheated on at a party. But considering that she was in a room presumably alone with the drug dealer for hours, Riley might have been cheating on her as retaliation for cheating on him first. I’m surprised they didn’t stay together, considering how well-matched these two addicts are:

“Turns out this guy Riley, who must be an idiot, had taken some girl from the party into the woods and had sex with her,” explains the friend. “Who has sex in the outdoors in the freezing cold during a house party? And with his girlfriend inside?

“When Lindsay found out, she went ballistic. Everyone at the party watched her yell at Riley. She was crying and sobbing. It was a major scene.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 17, 2007]

This is one of those rare cases where the insider quoted in a gossip rag does sound like an actual person because the quotes are in a unique voice and aren’t too salacious or perfect-sounding. The witness says that Lindsay was embarrassed after she freaked in front of everyone, but that she wouldn’t accept multiple offers for rides and wouldn’t take any food or water offered to her. She ended up leaving with Riley, who was also in no state to drive.

Several days later Lindsay was spotted with Heath Ledger and is said to have bumped uglies with him. She was also seen out with Stavros Niarchos, Paris Hilton’s fallback boyfriend, on November 28. Stavros has since briefly reunited with Paris, probably because Paris heard that he was out with Lindsay and decided to stake her claim again. Lindsay was said to have asked Stavros to make out with her last September in a bid to make her ex, Harry Morton, and Stavros’ perpetual ex, Paris Hilton, jealous. It sounds like she used this same tactic again after Ledger hit it and quit it. (Thanks to the Evil Beet for that euphemism.)

Lohan is shown leaving a hair salon on 12/8/07. Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

I don’t know if it’s a fluke or just my warped perception, but it seems like there’s an extra amount of Hollywood drunken-while-drivingness lately. Ray Liotta was arrested in February after he drunkenly hit not one, but two parked cars. That takes talent. It takes a certain level of skill just to hit one parked car. What with it just sitting there, taunting you. But then to go after another… that guy must have been really hammered. Though if you ask him, he just had an unfortunate interaction between two medications. I’m guessing it was more like two medications and the twelve beers he washed them down with, but whatever. Technicalities I suppose.

Ray’s been given a pretty lenient sentence, compared with a few of our jail-serving celebrity friends.

Actor Ray Liotta has pleaded no contest to a reckless driving charge after police say he drove into two parked cars. Liotta initially was charged with misdemeanor driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. He could have faced up to six months in jail if convicted of that charge, Mateljan said.

“Ray had some unexpected drowsiness from the interaction of some medications prescribed by his doctor,” said his attorney, Blair Berk. Under the terms of his plea, Liotta was placed on three years’ probation and ordered to enter a 12-hour alcohol education program, according to court documents.

Liotta was arrested in February following the non-injury crash in the Pacific Palisades section of Los Angeles. He will have to pay $1,328 in restitution and fines and pay the owners of the damaged vehicles, the court papers said.

[From Yahoo! News]

I have to tell you, while I understand extreme sleepiness, if it were that bad, I’d pull over. If you’re so tired that you’re swerving into parked cars, I imagine the only thing on your mind would be finding a parking space. Hitting one car, and then going on to hit another, probably won’t get you home into bed any faster. I’m continually amazed at how many celebrities drink and drive. If broke college students can manage to get it together and call a cab, I think you can too. Seriously, when you can now legitimately be compared to Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Lindsay Lohan, wouldn’t it have been better to just pull over and take a nap in the gutter?

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Ray and his daughter at the “Bee Movie” premiere on October 28th. thanks to PR Photos.