These are not the best optics for Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth. They’ve been in NYC for a few days, and on Tuesday, they were photographed enjoying some beverages during a visit to the Soho House. Jim seems to be drinking a glass of rosé while Reese has slurped down what looks like… a gin and tonic maybe? Something with a lime twist, although it could be water (do people order water with lime twists?). It’s one thing to hear about Reese and Jim continuing the party just days after their boozy Atlanta arrests, but it’s quite another to see how comfortable they are (presumably) draining some alcoholic beverages in the middle of the day.

What’s interesting is that before the videos of Reese’s arrest went public, her PR strategy seemed to be “throw Jim under the bus”. Someone leaked to People Magazine that Jim was a big social drinker and that post-arrest he was considering going to rehab. Then the videos came out and suddenly people were like “Wow, Reese is one obnoxious drunk bitch.” Maybe we can just take these photos as proof that neither Jim nor Reese really give a crap about how much they’re seen drinking. Now my idea of their marriage is more Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and less Legally Blonde.

I guess there are some people who like Reese more now that she’s been revealed to be an obnoxious drunk who mouths off to police officers and lets her drunk husband drive her home. I guess her fanbase has grown because of this experience and she feels like she doesn’t have to follow-through with any real changes to her behavior. Which means that chances are, what happened in Atlanta will probably happen again.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Tara Reid sees Reese Witherspoon’s drunk redneck act and Tara raises her. Tara has been a mess for YEARS. How dare Reese come onto Tara’s turf?! So to push back against Reese’s “Don’t you know who I am?” drunk-slur in Georgia, Tara has tried to outdo it in LA. Tara got wasted and decided to go shopping. And the dummies at All Saints didn’t even recognize her or care that she wanted a discount!! Don’t they know that she’s the illustrious star of American Pie?!?!

Don’t they know who she is? Apparently not! As Coachella headed into its second weekend — with bands including Blur and a Stone Roses reunion — notorious party animal Tara Reid was seen demanding a discount at an LA store while picking out an outfit for the massive music fest, then getting thrown out.

The “American Pie” star was seen shopping at edgy Brit brand All Saints last week when she was overheard berating employees for refusing to give her a discount because of her “fame,” and then was booted, spies said.

“She was screaming,” said a source. “She had to be escorted out by security. She seemed drunk.”

The trouble began when Reid — star of upcoming TV movie “Sharknado” with Ian Ziering—arrived at the Robertson Boulevard store where, a spy said, “She said she needed an outfit for Coachella.” But, the spy added, she “demanded a discount.” When the store declined, Reid insisted she deserved the break “because of her fame,” a spy said. She then “began to scream at them and was escorted out.”

A rep for Reid told us that she was with her C-list client during the incident, and that we’re just not on “Team Tara.”

“Tara gets a huge discount with All Saints in the UK and Paris because she’s a walking billboard for them,” the rep snapped. “She gets photographed . . . so they give her huge hookups. We told them we get a discount, and they said they’d email the press team.”

The rep added Reid was in a dressing room when a salesperson then came in to tell her she’d been denied. “Tara didn’t think it made sense and asked them to check again,” the rep said.

The store offered to hold Reid’s items for her, according to the rep, and Tara left empty-handed, on her own steam.

As far as Reid’s state in the store: “She was definitely not drunk. People love to say Tara’s hammered and this and that . . . whoever is saying that is not on Team Tara,” the rep said.

All Saints declined to comment.

[From Page Six]

It seems like All Saints DID comment and their comment was the first half of the story. The second half of the story came from someone who obviously was as blitzed at Tara. That’s, like, Lohan-level of delusion, especially with the “because she’s a walking billboard for them” comment. I don’t really know of ANY major brand that wants to be associated with a mess like Tara Reid.

Also: “…star of upcoming TV movie ‘Sharknado’ with Ian Ziering…” Perfect sentence is perfect.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

A few days ago, I looked through these photos of Dina Lohan at the ROCK ART LOVE auction in NYC, and I couldn’t really find a story to go with them. I was considering just doing an update on where Lindsay Lohan’s trial is heading next week, but then other stuff came up, and long story short, I was like, “Meh, a week without Dina Lohan is a good week.” As it turns out, there was an interesting story that goes along with these photos. Dina Lohan was completely blitzed at this event, to the point where she was disruptive to the auction. Because of course.

It appeared Dina Lohan was trying to compete with potential bidders Carlos Slim Helu, the world’s richest man, and Cuba Gooding Jr. at the Rock Love Art Ball on the lower East Side Tuesday. Turns out, she was just drunkingly flailing her hands in the air during a charity auction.

“There was a dinner and it’s safe to say that Dina was drunk by the end of it,” says our spy. “She said the self-serve steak on the table was the best steak she had ever eaten. And when someone would receive an award, Dina would start clapping and stand up, the only one in the room standing.”

Our eyewitness says by the time the live auction came around, Dina was off to the races, “clapping and raising her hands in the air.”

“This prompted the auction leader to call out to her, ‘Ma’am, I have to remind you, when I see your hands above your eyebrows it means that you are bidding.’ She told her to stop jiggling around.”

Dina, spotted getting wine refills during her meal, was also seen laughing to herself and getting a neck rub at the table. “A massage therapist went up to her table to chat with her. The next thing you know, Dina is getting a neck rub with her head down. The massage therapist said Dina had a lot of tension in her neck and is probably stressed out.”

It was rumored that daughter Lindsay would be attending the event with mom, but she was a no-show.

Between cocktails, Dina did tell Confidenti@l she’s busy working on her memoirs.

“It’s totally cathartic, but my kids are like, write the book already. So I think it’s time. I’m doing it more for my children than for me to shed light on what really went down when Lindsay was little and what she had to deal with,” she said.

“It’s actually my life story, not about Lindsay and not about my ex. … I’m from A to M. … I guess I’m at M at this point; I don’t know. Not at Z yet,” she explained.

[From The NY Daily News]

Sometimes I actually have moments of “God, I have no idea how Lindsay ended up such a raging dumbass.” But then I remember – Dina Lohan is the “good” parent. And this is how Lindsay’s “good” parent behaves. Like a drunken mess. Like an alcoholic who can barely slur out some nonsense about her memoir. That memoir is going to be co-written by Captain Morgan and Jim Beam. The memoir will be called “Rockette: Bluskghskj sleepytime coke dance kfsofh OPRAH.”

Would you like an update on the Lindsay situation? According to TMZ, prosecutors ended plea deal negotiations on Thursday and everyone is set to go to trial on Monday. It’s going to be a hot mess. The prosecution kept offering Lindsay deal after progressively better deal, and she said no to all of them because she’s linnocent and she doesn’t feel like she should be punished for anything!! Punishment is not for white girls with big boobs, remember! Lady Justice, don’t you know that she’s the star of Herbie Fully Loaded?!?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

This news came out a few days back but I’m just seeing it now, so forgive me if it’s not new to you. Apparently Kris Jenner is a boozehound and is drinking constantly, including in the middle of the day. There’s plenty of evidence that this could be the case, including scenes from the Kardashian’s show, tweets and videos by Kris and her daughters showing that the 57 year-old reality mogul loves to get her drink on. (Remember this?) So I don’t think this is new necessarily, just that a gossip outlet is bothering to point it out. Note that this is in In Touch, which has made a kind of cottage industry out of pointing out the obvious when it comes to Kris Jenner. They have a relationship with Kris’ ex husband’s widow, and have been getting a lot of juicy information from her, from which they’ve run many “Kris is a monster” cover stories. Here’s more:

After years of witnessing her embarrassing, out-of-control partying, Kris Jenner’s kids have had enough.

The famous momager’s alcohol-fueled antics have gotten so problematic in recent months, that her six children have told her she needs to quit drinking— or else.

“She sometimes drinks at work and in the morning, and she always jokes about having her vodka and wine ready for her when she arrives at an event or at home,” says a Kardashian family insider. “She needs help…”

In 2012, Kourtney took to twitter after Kris fell into the pool on a family vacation to the Dominican Republic. “I think my mom is definitely drunk already,” she wrote. “She is just such a freak.”

And at a recent Clippers game, Khloé told her followers about Kris’ inebriated state. “My mom is f—ing drunk…what’s new!” she said.

While her brood may joke around about their mom’s drinking, the situation is no joke. “The kids just don’t know what to do,” says the family insider. “Maybe the only thing they can do is to wait for her to hit rock bottom.”

[From In Touch]

The Stir has an additional quote from In Touch, whose insider says “I’ve been at [Kris'] house – she’ll open a bottle of wine in the middle of the day and pour half a bottle in a giant glass and slug from it.”

It’s not hard to believe about Kris, just judging from social media. The woman may be drinking to try to cope with the fact that her massive empire is crumbling around her. We’ve heard that she’s on the verge of a divorce from her husband, Bruce Jenner. A few weeks ago, she denied that her marriage is in trouble by declaring that she would stage a photo op with him. (Which hasn’t happened yet.) And now we’re hearing that the star of the family, Kim, may be considering stepping away from the family franchise. Kim hinted in a recent interview that she may be done with “Keeping up with The Kardashians,” and Kris allegedly freaked out and told her to check herself.

Kim, who’s pregnant with boyfriend Kanye West’s baby, hinted in the March 2013 issue of DuJour that the ninth season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians could well be her last, which reportedly made Jenner hit the roof!

“After hearing that Kim dissed the family empire in a magazine interview, Kris flipped out and called a summit at her office,” a source dished to the Enquirer.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Jenner manages all of her daughters’ careers — and is paid handsomely for it — receiving 10 percent on all negotiated deals.

The 57-year-old has been trying to expand her family based client list lately by attempting to entice Kim’s baby daddy to sign up for her services, but so far West has politely declined the offer.

“Kris has wanted to manage someone of Kanye’s stature and talent for a very long time,” a source close to the family told Radar. “She feels that it could open even bigger doors for her career, and she is always looking to expand her client base.

“Kris has told Kanye that she would love to be his manager,even though he has a team in place.

“She said she would be willing to start out representing him in new endorsements and his personal life as it pertains to the reality shows…..Kris reps Khloe’s hubby, Lamar Odom in non-basketball matters. Kanye politely declined though as he is extremely happy with his current manager, agent, etc.”

[From Radar]

Of course Kris is pissed off that Kim is trying to break away and that Kanye isn’t letting her represent him. We’ve heard about Kanye rejecting the momager before. Can you imagine what a nightmare that would be – to have a mother-in-law like that who is also trying to control your career? Maybe she’s tolerable when she’s wasted at least. Although alcoholism is a serious issue and I shouldn’t make light of it, that’s what comes to mind when I hear this story.

Kris Jenner is shown on 2-21-13 at a Clippers game and on 2-16-13 at a book release event for Heather McDonald. She’s also shown out with Kourtney on 2-27-13 Credit: WENN.com

Bruce Willis did an interview on BBC’s One Show earlier this month to promote the latest Die Hard movie. The interview got a lot of press because Bruce seemed drunk. He slurred his words, sounded incoherent at times, and was a dud overall. The British press lambasted him, but I saw the interview and it wasn’t horrible or anything. (It’s available in two parts on YouTube. The most awkward parts are around 3:20 and 8:00 in this first video.) If anything he sounded like the drunk dude at the corner bar who thinks he’s being philosophical, makes little sense and is generally harmless. This is his job, though, and he should strive to at least be sober when he’s doing promotional duties. Can you imagine if he was wasted like that on Letterman or Leno? That story would have had a lot more mileage.

Willis covers the new issue of GQ, and his interview may reveal why he acted like that on British television. He admits that he’s no longer abstaining from alcohol and that he enjoys “wine with dinner.” Here are some excerpts from his GQ interview, with more at the source:

Bruce Willis on his advice to actors:
“I recently heard one of my fellow actors say it in three words: ‘Just shut up.’ Just go silent. Maybe it’s being older; maybe that’s just a tiny tag of wisdom, that you’ve got to think about something before you say something. I once thought that somehow, with this job, also comes the inherent right to say whatever the f*k I want regardless of whether I’m right or wrong or think that anybody needs to hear it or shouldhear it.”

…on never being nominated for an Oscar:
“I don’t think about it too much. It just always has seemed whimsical to me, to think about it. You don’t get an Oscar for comedy, and you don’t get it for shooting people. You get it for novelty, of being fascinating to watch in some character role. But the Die Hard stuff and Dirty Harry are all fraught with the same thing that every story is fraught with.”

…on his sobriety: “I had been sober [for a while]. But once I realized that I wasn’t gonna run myself off the pier of life with alcohol, drinking vodka out of the bottle every day… I have wine now, mostly when I eat.”

…on maybe trying out theater:
“I’d like to go and do theater. It seems like a more reasonable job, more manageable.”

…on future plans and if he’d pursue politics:
And nobody wants to hear this bad news, but we’re all dying on some level. I’m going to try to keep the machine moving forward as much as possible and not have to think about the eventuality of becoming more frail and less able to do the work. I know that I’m not going into politics. That’s not an option. I was asked, and I said, “Did you hear any of the stuff about me when I was a kid?”

…on Bill O’Reilly and his books: “I’ve been reading a lot of—I read a lot anyway, but—I’ve been reading a lot, in Europe. … [Bill O’Reilly] wrote about the assassination of Lincoln and the assassination of JFK. I learned more things from him and his story of JFK than I ever knew. Bill O’Reilly is a great researcher. Whatever you think about his character that he plays in the news, he’s a great researcher.”

[From GQ]

I still find Bruce Willis to be incredibly hot in theory, but there’s something sad about him when he’s drunk. He was very soft spoken and goofy and he lost his appeal for me in that interview. He had more than a couple glasses of wine at dinner that’s for sure.

Huffington Post reminds us that Bruce got sober around 1988, and that he quit his gig as a spokesperson for Seagram’s Wine Coolers because he quit drinking. I wonder if he was sober for over 20 years.

A Good Day to Die Hard is out in the US on Valentine’s Day. Can you believe that this franchise is still going strong after 25 years? The first movie came out in 1988. Matt Damon could have easily done that with the Bourne movies, he could have ridden that franchise into the ground but he knew when to step down. Bruce doesn’t mind. He said in that BBC interview that he’d do a sixth Die Hard movie.

In these photos below Bruce is shown in Paris yesterday receiving the “Commandeur dans l’Ordre des Arts et Lettres.” It’s a prestigious award from the French Minister of Culture for “significant contributions to the arts, literature, or the propagation of these fields.” His wife looks really good. She’s all of 34 now, and she had a baby about 10 months ago.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Oh my, Diane Sawyer was “maintaining” as Kaiser puts it, last night during her job as co-anchor for ABC’s election coverage. She was slurring her words, acting goofy, and basically embarrassing her co-anchor, George Stephanopoulos, who stared at her stony-faced as she went on babbling about the election. It was fun for me to watch on several levels. Of course because Sawyer was so visibly wasted, and also because I never watch ABC for election night, I flip between MSNBC and CNN. Plus I actually missed the point last night when they called the election for Obama! I was so tired I passed out before that happened. I’m still burned from staying up until 4am in 2000. Anyway, so many people noticed Diane’s inebriated state, and it was so non-debatable, that People Magazine is now carrying this story. It’s already a meme.

Barack Obama supporters had plenty to toast to Tuesday night when the President claimed victory over Republican candidate Mitt Romney.

Also saying cheers to the end of a tight election season: Diane Sawyer?

Amid the nail-biting unveiling of the presidential election results, some viewers of ABC’s news coverage were just as focused on host Sawyer, 66, wondering on social media if her political celebrating got the best of her. Her seemingly odd conduct was even chronicled by the Associated Press, which noted her slow speech and the way she seemed to hold out her arms to prop herself up as the election night results trickled in.

Of course, social media outlets lit up with observations about the veteran broadcaster’s commentary, which seemed off and, at times, slurred, with co-host George Stephanopoulos.

But her coverage fell short for some political junkies, who wondered if the motto of the night was “four more years” … or “four more beers.”

The Internet’s infatuation with “Drunk Diane Sawyer” quickly followed in the footsteps of the debates’s Big Bird, binders full of women and bayonets. The comparatively light-hearted political commentary continued through the results — on a parody account.

[From People]

Here’s a link to the Drunk Diane Sawyer Twitter account that People mentions – it’s hilarious.

im not drunk u gusys r dunk

— Drunk Diane Sawyer (@DrnkDianeSawyer) November 7, 2012

As Crazy Days and Nights puts it, Paula Abdul was like this for a few seasons on American Idol. We can learn to live with occasionally drunk Diane Sawyer. She makes much more sense than Paula ever did.

In response to this story, an ABC executive supposedly told The Daily Mail (off the record, so they could be making it up) that Diane was just “exhausted” and that “Diane’s been up for days and she’s had many sleepless nights. She was covering the hurricane and then preparing for the election broadcast.” It sounds like how I prepare for Oscar night – with some cocktails.

Ready, set at the @abc desk for Election Night. RT if you’ll be watching as America chooses a President. #YourVoice twitter.com/DianeSawyer/st…

— Diane Sawyer (@DianeSawyer) November 6, 2012

Over the weekend, I covered these photos of Christina Aguilera drunkenly slow-walking her way out of Spago in Beverly Hills. Christina looked like a damn mess, which has been happening a lot over the course of the past few years. Is it even newsworthy when Christina looks like a drunk mess anymore? Eh. Well, Star Mag has another story about just how bad it’s gotten behind-the-scenes with Christina’s drinking.

Christina Aguilera is still a boozing mess! Sources tell Star that on Sept. 28 during a dinner at Spago, Christina drank so much win and champagne that she couldn’t even walk to her car. Her boyfriend of two years, Matt Rutler, once again had to act as caretaker to his bingeing girlfriend.

“Christina loves to drink and has a problem with knowing when enough is enough,” explains an insider. “Matt has told Christina that she should slow down on the alcohol when they are at dinners, but she gets mad and tells him she’ll do what she wants.”

Once thin and fit, Christina’s carb-heavy diet has clearly taken its toll.

“It’s obvious Christina has put on a lot of weight – she lives off champagne and pasta. But she still believes she is healthy and doesn’t think that she needs to work out.”

Christina doesn’t seem concerned with her expanding size, but those around her don’t share her flippant attitude: “She’s putting her health, career and relationship in jeopardy. Matt can only do so much for her, and she’s going to lose a big portion of her fan base if she doesn’t get herself together.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Part of me thinks this story is kind of tame, mostly because I remember the tabloid stories last year of Christina being so trashed she would go to parties and end up passed out in Jeremy Renner’s bed. And remember the time her mother called her a drunk and Christina told her mom to STFU, right before Christina called her brother’s girlfriend a “whore”? Good times. If anything, this Star Mag story shows Christina as relatively capable of “maintaining”. Yes, she’s an alcoholic. But at least she’s not drunkenly telling her mother to go f—k herself.

And a champagne and pasta diet? That sounds so gross to me. I love pasta and everything, but the combination just seems like a random way to live.

Photos courtesy of PCN, WENN.

Last week, we all laughed and cried (and then laughed again) over the commercial for Dr. Phil’s “exclusive” interview with Dina Lohan. Dina was, no joke, a complete and utter mess in that promo. We could hedge and say that Dr. Phil’s producers were just using the most damning parts of the interview to entice us into watching… to which I say, the producers did a great job, because I am SO watching Monday’s show. Shall we watch it again? Let’s watch it again.

I still love it. I still think it’s hilarious. And I don’t feel bad about laughing either. We can have a moment of feeling “bad” for poor crackie Lindsay Lohan (and even then… NO), but I just can’t muster up anything resembling sympathy for Dina. Spending one minute with this glorious interview only reminds me that Dina is one of the worst mothers and worst people ever. Anyway, since the promo got so much attention (because Dina was so obviously high or drunk or both), Dina decided to set the record straight to TMZ. I’m surprised she didn’t don a mustache and say all of this as her alter ego, Steve Honig.

Dina Lohan tells TMZ … she had NOT BEEN DRINKING before her interview with Dr. Phil … and blames the editing for making her appear intoxicated. The interview — set to air on Monday — was taped several months ago … and a new promo for the episode features a seemingly confused Dina acting bizarre .. and many people suspect she was blitzed.

In fact, the promo features a clip in which Dina’s ex-hubby Michael Lohan asks Phil if Dina had been drinking before the interview.

But Dina is adamant she was sober … telling TMZ, “I don’t care what it looks like. I’m fine and I don’t care what anyone says.”

She continues, “All people saw was two minutes edited of an hour long interview. Of course they cut it to make it interesting. That’s their job . I don’t blame them for doing that. Some of the comments were taken out of context but I’m fine. I’m fine.”

Dina tells us the public shouldn’t judge her until they see the full interview — insisting she’s a “good mom” who’s always been there for her 4 kids, including her oldest daughter Lindsay Lohan.

“I think the interview will be good. I know what I said and the facts are what the facts are. The proof is in the facts. The truth will set you free”

[From TMZ]

I want that one quote on a t-shirt: “I know what I said and the facts are what the facts are. The proof is in the facts. The truth will set you free”. Crack logic!! “The proof is in the facts” is maybe one of the most cracked-out ingenious statements I’ve ever f—king heard in my life. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to learn that Dina’s superior debating skills come from Captain Morgan’s Law School of Proof and Facts. I’m shocked that Dina hasn’t tried cases before the Supreme Court, blitzed out of her skull, flashing her beave to Justice Alito: “Your Honor, THIS is the fact and the proof is in there somewhere. CASE CLOSED.”

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

We’ve heard plenty of stories of celebrities arguing with flight attendants, but this is the first one I can remember in which someone has forced a plane to make an emergency landing. You might know Puddle of Mudd from their early 2000s hits Blurry and She Hates Me (which sounded like a cheap knockoff of that Offspring song Self Esteem to me, but that’s a different band.) Now their lead singer, Wes Scantlin, will be forever known as the guy who got so drunk and argumentative on a plane that the pilot made an emergency landing. I feel for all those other passengers. Some of them probably missed connecting flights and important business meetings thanks to this wasted a*hole.

Puddle of Mudd singer Wes Scantlin was just arrested at an Austin, TX airport for allegedly becoming drunkenly combative with a flight attendant while in the air — a rep for the Austin PD tells TMZ.

According to the Austin PD, Scantlin got into a verbal argument with a flight attendant over alcohol. It’s unclear exactly what provoked the argument, but a source with airport security says Scantlin was upset because the flight crew wouldn’t sell him booze.

Scantlin’s flight was originally bound for L.A. but was re-routed to Bergstrom International Airport in Austin for an emergency stop, where Scantlin was booted from the plane.

A rep for the Austin PD tells us, Scantlin was arrested and booked for public intoxication, but he could also later face federal charges of interfering with a flight crew.

FYI — Scantlin pled “guilty” to felony cocaine possession in July, but the judge agreed to clear his record in 18 months so long as Scantlin obeys all laws … a condition Scantlin may just have violated.

Bottom line — if Scantlin actually did cause a mid-air ruckus he could face prison time for the cocaine charge, as well as for public intoxication and interfering with a flight crew.

[From TMZ]

I go on a lot of international flights, and after a couple of layovers, toward the end of the trip, I get really punchy because I’ve been up for almost a full day at that point. (If it’s a day flight, I try to avoid those.) I’ve dealt with delays of several hours thanks to how incompetent and poorly run United is in particular, but I strive to keep my air rage controlled other than occasional outbursts of bitchiness, which is my right as a consumer. That usually doesn’t come out unless they’ve lost my damn luggage, which happened to me during my last trip. It’s one thing to tell someone off when you’re safely on the ground, it’s another to fight so hard with a stewardess that the plane has to go off course and inconvenience everyone. This makes me wonder: why didn’t they just restrain this tool and head toward their destination? Wasn’t there an air marshall on board who could have slapped some plastic handcuffs on him and restrained him until they got to L.A? Scantlin must have put up one hell of a flight.

These photos are from 2010 and 2012. I guess Scantlin also dated/dates Rachel Hunter, as I’ve seen photos of him with her in 2003 and again in 2011, but we don’t have access to those. Photo credit: PRphotos and WENN.com

When I come into work first thing in the morning (“come in to work” = stumble to the computer while I’m still half-asleep), I spend the first 20 minutes of my workday checking all of the main celebrity news sites. So I saw this People Mag story first thing – “Lindsay Lohan Has a Mellow Night Out with Pals”. The basic gist was that Lindsay had been out Tuesday night at Bootsy Bellows with a “select group of friends” (like she’s SO selective), and an “onlooker” claimed, “Lindsay seemed really mellow and like she just wanted to chill out.” The whole thing reads like a press release for Cracked-Out Sobriety, and of course I didn’t believe it, but I didn’t see anything else around, so I just ignored it. But now Us Weekly has a completely different summary of what went down at Bootsy Bellows –and it’s not pretty.

Lindsay Lohan isn’t okay with sharing the spotlight at her favorite Hollywood night club.

A source tells Us Weekly that the Liz & Dick actress, 25, appeared to be back to her old, headline-making antics at Bootsy Bellows on Tuesday night — and put a wrench in E! reality star Francesca Eastwood’s birthday bash.

“Francesca was celebrating her birthday with around a dozen friends in a private area when Lindsay came over and started screaming that Francesca should leave,” the source says. “She was yelling ‘I’m a star, she’s a nobody, get her out of here!’”

The source continues, “One poor guy came over and tried to calm [Lindsay] down and she acted aggressively. At that point the security told her to leave and it was totally embarrassing. She is acting like some bad ’80s film star, and it is hard to watch because she needs help.”

But before Lohan embarked on her journey home, she and her party made one more cringe-worthy snafu.

“Lindsay’s friend was driving and they sped out and almost hit one of the valet guys,” a witness tells Us.

[From Us Weekly]

Does anyone have a problem believing any of this? This is, after all, the girl who crack-screamed, “MOVE THAT CONE, I’M LINDSAY LOHAN.” Why wouldn’t she also crack-scream, “I’M A STAR, SHE’S A NOBODY, GET HER OUT OF HERE”? To Clint Eastwood’s daughter. Because that always goes over so well. By the way, I have no real idea who Francesca Eastwood is beyond the daughter of Clint and Frances Fisher. Apparently, she just turned 19 years old. Happy birthday, Francesca. I’m sorry you had to deal with a crack monster on your birthday.

Real question: why do clubs still allow Lindsay inside? I realize she has the cracked-out instincts of a cat burglar, so no bouncer is going to be able to stop her, but still – once she’s inside, all you have to do is grab on to her busted weave and toss her out.

My favorite photos of Lindsay in 2009, courtesy of WENN.