Gallery of the Absurd has this fabulous new Mel Gibson bumper sticker. If they would create actual bumper stickers like this, they would sell out.

The pictures of Mel partying it up before refusing a ride home, getting arrested and going apeshit have come out. He looks every bit the aged, washed up bigot.

Mel also said back in the day that he hates gay people, and that he’s such an asshole because he’s a closet case:

He really must hate himself most of all for ruining his posh lifestyle making obscure vanity films.

People are pointing out that if Roman Polanski violated a 13 year-old girl and got his career back after fleeing the country, Mel can too. It took Polanski over twenty years. In Mel’s case, he can probably put his extreme bigotry behind him in about ten.

Maybe he should just invest his money or go into real estate development.

Everyone was saying that Mel Gibson’s career was over after he was caught defaming Jewish people during a DUI arrest. It was assumed that he would go on some sort of unspoken industry black list.

It’s gone beyond passive-agressive whispers and shunning. People are so pissed that they’re calling for an all-out boycott of Mel:

The arresting officer, a Jewish guy with 17 years on the force, is contrite about the whole episode, and insists that he doesn’t want to ruin Mel’s career. Mel did that all on his own.

Meanwhile those stupid women on “The View” are trying to remain relevant by saying that they don’t want to see any more Mel Gibson movies. Countless people undoubtedly agree with them.

The U.S. Jewish Anti-Defamation League has said his colleagues should “condemn him and distance themselves from him.”

And it gets even better – it’s come out that several people offered Gibson a ride home that night and he refused.

Gibson has checked himself into rehab in an effort to do damage control, but the damage is extensive and it’s already done. He’s richer than sin, and unless Opus Dei has taken all his cash he should sit back and enjoy his millions while waiting for this to pass. Maybe he should get some sensitivity training, too.

Now that the news is out that Mel is a royal jerk, the LA County Sheriff’s department figured they may as well release his mug shot. The long beard is gone and he doesn’t look half bad for a drunken bigot.

It’s a shame there’s no Nick Nolte style mug shot to include with this story, but uber-religious Catholic cult member Mel Gibson was arrested for drunk driving on Friday after supposedly being sober for years. He had a bottle of tequila in his car, and said it wasn’t his but he’d “had a little bit” (that’s classic!)

TMZ also has details of a police cover-up to remove inflammatory details from the original report. When he was first arrested, Mel Gibson went off on Jews, saying they were responsible for all the wars in the world, and told the arresting officer repeatedly that he was going to “f***” him. He also tried to run away when the cop did him a courtesy by not cuffing him.

Once he was in custody, he tried to unzip his pants to pee on the floor of his holding cell!

Gibson was obviously distraught over the illegal unprovoked war on Lebanon that’s killed countless innocent civilians. Israel is responsible for a high percentage of wars, but then again so are the Americans. There’s that whole imprisoning an entire country thing that Israel’s doing, too. It’s not the Jewish or American peoples’ fault, though, just their terrible leaders.

Gibson was pulled over for drunk driving twice before and let off with just a warning.

Mel Gibson is a member of the Catholic cult, Opus Dei, which tried to escape the terrible image it was given in the Da Vinci Code, and calls their portrayal inaccurate:

The only other famous person I’ve heard of who was a member of Opus Dei was FBI spy Robert Hanssen, who rigged up a secret room in order to let his best friend watch while he had sex with his wife.

Gibson has since apologized for his behavior, saying that he “acted like a person completely out of control,” that he “said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable,” and that he was “deeply ashamed.”

It’s too late for Gibson, because everyone’s suspicions about him have been confirmed. Now that their highest profile member has been exposed for the jerk he is, Opus Dei is going to have even more problems with their image. Mel Gibson’s going to have quite a hard time making his weird religious movies too.

Matthew McConaughey was photographed drunk, high, or a bit of both on the fourth of July weekend in Costa Rica. This sort of contradicts a British report that showed Matt with a fat stomach and said he held an Independence Day party at his Malibu mansion. Both might be true and Matt may have been in Costa Rica on the weekend and back in time to throw the party on Tuesday. He doesn’t look fat, though:

We all know he loves to party and as long as he’s not pulling down Christmas trees or assaulting anyone it seems quite harmless.

Matt’s hangover must not have lasted long. He was biking in the Malibu hills with Lance Armstrong and Jake Gyllenhaal on Wednesday, July 5th.

Here is Matt on the weekend in question and riding his bike a few days later with Lance and Jake. [via]

Pete Doherty got up to all sorts of his usual trouble this week. When he flew into Sweden last weekend for some scheduled performances with his band, Babyshambles, he was so out of it he had to use a wheelchair to reach customs. The Swedish authorities were reluctant to retain him, but after he got out of the wheelchair and rolled around on the floor they were forced to do something and decided to search his luggage.

Due to Pete’s delay at the border, his band Babyshambles went on an hour late for their performance at the Hultsfred Festival in southern Sweden. The police there were suspicious of Pete’s drunken behavior and decided to test his blood for drugs. They found traces of cocaine and a mild tranquilizer, benzodiazepine, which Doherty says he has a prescription for. He was fined $1,900 and released.

At least he seems to be off heroin for a few hours. He was in a rehab clinic in Portugal at the beginning of the month, and his lawyer said treatment was “going well.” In Pete’s case that means he didn’t bust up the place yet.

Doherty later got kicked out of the Debaser club in Stokholm in the middle of a “messy” and drunken performance. A girl was said to be freaking out after she stepped on some broken glass. Doherty was trying to handle the situation by “lashing out at people” and got booted from the club.

Doherty also plans to record a solo album this summer. We bet it has more do with the fact that his bandmates are fed up with him than trying to establish himself as a solo artist.

Doherty’s frequent clashes with authorities may fuel his creative endeavors. He just announced that he’s publishing his diaires that span back years:

Even if it’s total crap and as random and unreadable as Macaulay Culkin’s “book,” you know people will buy it.

Meanwhile Doherty’s ex, Kate Moss, has wisely decided not to publish her memoirs. She was paid a £1million advance by Virgin books to write an autobiography about her cocaine abuse. She decided against it, and is wisely keeping that part of her past private. Moss was embroiled in a scandal in September of last year after a videotape was released of her snorting lines backstage at a Babyshambles concert. She was dropped from modeling campaigns with Chanel and Burberry at the time, but has since landed new lucrative contracts as the face of Nikon and Calvin Klein.

Here is Kate Moss outside a London Hotel earlier this week. [via] Doherty is shown at the Rock am Ring festival on 6/2.

Update: Pete Doherty images removed upon request.

Joining the list of snaggle-tooth stars who love their drink (which only includes Kirsten Dunst as far as I know, but that sounded funny) is Jewel, who praises the merits of alcohol in a recent quote:

Maybe Jewel is drinking high quality vodka or taking that active charcoal stuff that prevents hangovers, because drinking a lot is really counter productive in our extensive experience.

Also, it’s weird that The Post says Jewel drinks Robitussin because all she said was that she enjoys alcohol. She was probably joking and so is The Post, but she must be drinking a lot or why would she joke like that?

Here is Jewel shooting her new video “Good Day” [via] She is shown with her boyfriend of 7 years, Ty Murray, called the “king of the cowboys.”

Britney’s boyguard and inexperienced manny, Perry Taylor, wanted to become a US Navy Seal, but a bad stint in the Navy caused by too much boozing and carousing squashed his dreams and forced him to take a career in security:

Perry may have been a drinker like a lot of young people, but he’s still ten times better than K-Fed, whose only brush with responsibility was working as a back up dancer and trying to start a career in a field he’s completely inadequate in.

Britney and K-Fed were photographed together for the first time in weeks. K-Fed looked tired and uncomfortable with his family, in contrast to the calm and slightly bemused look that Perry Taylor sports when he’s helping Britney with Sean Preston, which isn’t even in his job description. Perry seems like a stand up guy with a regular past that isn’t too embarassing.

Here are Perry’s family pictures, which are a bit blurry and not terribly interesting, but you might want to see them. Thanks to BritneySpears.nu for the story and pictures.

Related:

Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson, The O.C.’s onscreen and real life couple, have been going their separate ways lately. Bilson has been photographed drunk and out on the town with girlfriends, and Brody was seen looking scruffy at the Sasquatch music festival in Washington state.

Of course couples don’t have to hang out together constantly, but Brody is looking pretty depressed and scruffy while Bilson is drunk. It seems like something’s going on.

Here’s Brody playing drums at the Sasquatch festival on 5/29 [via], and Bilson out at Shag in Hollywood on May 29th. [via] She is also seen drunk. [via]

And here’s Rachel Bilson’s “Stuff Magazine” photoshoot:

British tabloid News of the World has pictures of a wasted George Michael at the wheel of his car. They were taken just after the troubled singer had to be woken up after blocking traffic for several minutes at a light. When he did get going again, he weaved all over the road and drove over the median:

This is the third time Michael has had car trouble. He was arrested at the end of February after being found passed out in his car. He was charged with posession of marjuana at the time and got off with a police caution. About a month ago, Michael was caught trying to leave the scene after hitting three parked cars.

It’s too bad he was let off with a caution for his February arrest, because he should have been sent to rehab. Maybe this latest incident will be a wakeup call for Michael.

Stavros Niarchos showed up drunk at Paris Hilton’s house at 1:00 am on Monday morning begging her to take him back:

Paris was at Matt Leinart’s draft party on Tuesday so that means she was with her new guy one night, and her old one the next.

Matt Leinart may be hot but he’s not as rich as Stavros. Stavros inherited $275 million on his 21st birthday this month, while Leinart’s contract with the Arizona Cardinals is said to be worth around $12 million. He also has a new endorsement deal with Nike, so it’s not like he will be suffering.

Paris is playing the field wisely.

Here she is with Nicky going to Shag nightclub on 5/2. Barbara on the gossip rocks board points out that they are “two different shades of orange” and “so easy to hate.” How right she is. [via]