Khloe Kardashian. Just the name makes me want to sucker punch someone in the face. Yeah, I’m that kind of girl. Or at least I’m in that kind of mood. I understand that Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe’s mom Kim likes Ks. Great. Awesome for you. But she managed to give Kim a normal K name, instead of finding some dumbass way to spell an otherwise good C name. Is it any wonder Kim is the only “successful” Kardashian daughter? Khloe’s racking in the DUI’s, Kourtney is… well I don’t know what the hell she’s doing, but that’s my point. I blame this whole debacle on their mom.

Because her name sucks, Khloe sucks, so Khloe got a DUI. She was ordered to serve 30 days in jail [People originally erroneously reported that it was 3 days – which we repeated here], which of course in Los Angeles translates to several minutes. Khloe was in and out in under three hours – not exactly record time, but you could see how they wouldn’t be as worried about her as they were with someone like Nicole Richie or Lindsay Lohan.

With the jails too full of more serious offenders to find room for her, Khloe Kardashian served less than three hours of her 30-day sentence on Friday in a DUI case. Kardashian, 24, who appears on E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians, was processed into the Lynwood, Calif., jail for women at 10:36 a.m. and released at 1:29 p.m., according to the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department.

The department, which runs the city’s jails, has an early-release policy for nonviolent offenders due to overcrowding. Kim Kardashian’s younger sister was sent there after she surrendered to the Van Nuys courthouse and was booked at 8:52 a.m. The Lynwood jail is the same facility that housed Paris Hilton for most of her term in an alcohol-related driving case.

Kardashian served her brief time for violating probation following a DUI arrest. Kardashian was arrested for DUI in March 2007, and was sentenced to three years probation. On July 3, she was sentenced to 30 days in jail after failing to complete roadside cleanup duty and enroll in an alcohol education class.

[From People]

I understand that DUIs are generally considered nonviolent crimes. I can see why women sentenced for them don’t put in as much time as murderers. But I think it sends a really bad message. Khloe Kardashian knew that she could do something she didn’t want to do – roadside cleanup duty – or she could go to jail for three hours. It makes sense she chose jail instead of doing her time properly.

Starlets know they won’t have to pay any real consequences. Part of her sentence was to do something she didn’t like – and do it for a while. Probably in the sun. Photographers would probably show up. It would be embarrassing. Why should someone as grand as Khloe Kardashian stoop to that level? Going to jail was much easier and more dignified for her. Of course we’d be talking about a whole different story if she knew she had to serve 30 entire days. Then we’d have some great pics of Khloe dragging a bag around a freeway.

Considering her choices, I no longer feel badly calling Khloe the behemoth monstrosity that she is.

Here’s Khloe outside the Villa Lounge in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Images thanks to WENN.

Mischa Barton is featured wearing an open sleeveless denim vest and a goofy felt hat on the upcoming cover of Nylon Magazine. In the accompanying interview she talks candidly about the DUI she received on the day after Christmas last year. She was driving without a license and cops found pot in her car at the time. In April she plead guilty to the DUI charge and the marijuana charges were dropped. In exchange she’s on three years probation and has to attend an alcohol education class.

Mischa told Nylon that her DUI was a “low point” and she doesn’t say she felt bad about it because she could have killed someone or that she really shouldn’t have been driving in that state or even without a license. She said she’s disappointed because it puts her in the same DUI club as Paris, Nicole and Lindsay:

“That was a low point for me. I never, ever would have thought I would be arrested,” she says in the August issue of Nylon of the December incident. “I was disappointed because it associated me with a group of girls that I would rather not be associated with.”

Now living in Paris, the former O.C. star pleaded no contest to drunken driving in April and was sentenced to three years probation.

Still, the repentant 22-year-old doesn’t plan on taking up the quiet, studious life of others her own age.

“I would want to go to college for the learning, but there’s so much else that comes with that that I don’t think I need anymore,” she says. “I’ve been making my own money and living as an adult for far too long.”

[From People.com]

Maybe People left out the part of the interview where Barton expressed regret for her DUI for more pertinent reasons other than the fact that it lumped her in with other irresponsible drunken starlets. She did say in interviews after her DUI hat she accepts responsibility for her actions and that she was really disappointed in herself. She told Ryan Seacrest “I don’t know what to say about it, except that I’m not perfect and I just don’t ever intend to do something this stupid again.” That statement in itself separates her from Lindsay and Paris, but maybe not Nicole because I think Nicole was pretty repentant after her DUI.

Barton used to be good friends with Paris Hilton, but was involved in a war of the words with her last year. Barton called Paris a “silly bitch” and said she steals people’s boyfriends while Paris acted like she didn’t know Mischa and said “she is the one who is trying to stir up a rivalry.”

Barton also used to spend time with Nicole Richie and I thought they were still friends. The last time I remember seeing them photographed together though was in May of last year when Richie was just starting to look pregnant. The two threw a memorial day party at Richie’s house and Mischa ended up in the hospital after she had a reaction from drinking while on antibiotics for bronchitis. Barton also got into a fender bender with Richie’s car in February of last year. Maybe these two haven’t really hung out since, or it’s possible Mischa is forgetting that Richie is among the girls she doesn’t want to be associated with.

As for Lindsay Lohan, Barton was seen out with her and Samantha Ronson in April of this year.

Maybe Barton doesn’t want to be associated with that “group of girls” who also have DUIs on their record, but it sure doesn’t seem like it considering how much she’s hung out with them in the past. It’s possible she’s just pissed off because their friendships didn’t work out.

Barton is shown out in Berlin early in the morning on 7/18/08 and at the Hugo Boss fashion show on 7/17/08. Credit: WENN

It’s got to suck being the sister of Kim Kardashian. You can argue all day about whether her assets are real, but she’s definitely beautiful, at least in a Hollywood sort of way. And depending on your views, her sister Kourtney is even hotter. And then there is Khloe. It’s hard to say if she’s actually unattractive, or just seems that way compared to her more genetically blessed older sisters.

Last fall Khloe got a DUI – which was dramatically reenacted on the family’s reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and framed in a way to make it look like it all happened because Khloe, 24, was having trouble dealing with the anniversary of her father’s death. Now Khloe has to report to jail by this Friday – where she must put in an astounding three days time.

Khloe Kardashian, the youngest of the Kardashian sisters, has been sentenced to three days in Los Angeles County jail for violating probation following a DUI arrest.

“She admitted to failing to complete [roadside cleanup duty] and enroll in an alcohol education class,” said L.A. City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan on Monday. “Khloe is ready and willing to serve out her sentence, no matter how long and where, and have this resolved,” her rep tells PEOPLE.

Over the weekend, Kardashian showed no obvious signs of worry about her upcoming jail term, as she attended a party at the Project Beach House in Malibu with her mother and sister Kourtney. “Khloe actually looked great, really relaxed and having a good time,” says a partygoer at Sunday’s Lia Sophia Clambake. “[She] didn’t look like she had a care in the world and even got a massage.”

[From People]

It’s shit like that – massages, not having a “care in the world” – that makes people hate celebrities. Though using that word to describe Khloe Kardashian isn’t exactly accurate. The “partygoer” says it as though it’s a GOOD thing. Thank God Khloe isn’t being burdened with stress or guilt or any feeling of responsibility for getting a DUI! That would be the real crime.

Something tells me Khloe will do just fine in jail. She has one of those faces that says she could beat the shit out of someone if she had to.

Here’s Khloe Kardashian arriving at Platinum Motors in West Hollywood with her brother and his girlfriend to pick up her customized Range Rover on June 30th. Because that’s what someone with a DUI needs. A new car. Header of Khloe celebrating her birthday at Pure nightclub in Vegas on June 27th. Image below of the Kardashian sisters during a taping of The View on 6/25/08. Images thanks to WENN.

You’ll forgive me for that obnoxiously worded title, said with wide eyes while clutching hands together in a mock bid for forgiveness. Nicole Richie has spoken about her DUI conviction stemming from a December, 2006 incident in which she was pulled over driving the wrong way on the freeway. Richie admitted to cops that she had done pot and vicodin that day, later claiming that she took the prescription painkiller for period cramps. That was actually her second DUI in less than five years, and she copped a plea and was sentenced to four days in jail. Richie was pregnant at the time she showed up to do her sentence and was let out of the Century Regional Detention Center after 82 minutes. This is the same facility where Paris Hilton served a full 22 days in jail for driving repeatedly on a suspended license after her DUI.

Now that Richie is a mom and has admirably turned her life around she says she realizes the error of her ways and won’t do it again. She also wants to be a better person and a better role model for her daughter Harlow, who is nearly six months old.

She explains, “We were watching the news once and they happened to be talking about drunk drivers. They started flashing up pictures of little children that had been killed by people driving under the influence.

“At that moment I literally felt like the worst person in the world for even trying to get out of that situation. That was our first real parent moment.”

She added, “There’s absolutely no way I will do anything like that again. I never took life seriously before. I’m in a completely different place now. I owe my baby my life. I have a responsibility now. I have to really be someone I want my child to look up to. I think it’s important for every child to look up to their parent. I want to show her the right path.”

[From Showbizspy via Gossip Rocks]

I can make fun of Richie’s revelation all I want, but she does deserve a lot of credit for changing her ways and being a devoted mom. She’s spotted out at events still, but that’s part of her job as a rich person known for showing up for stuff, and she does it well. She’s the one who saved her life, though, not her baby. There are plenty of women who have babies and don’t change at all.

Lane Garrison of Prison Break got into an accident while driving wasted on a vodka run. He ended up killing a 17 year-old male passenger who he had just met that night. He is serving 40 months in state prison and his actions will haunt him for the rest of his life.

If only all the other young celebrities could get the message that driving drunk is deadly. You don’t need an adorable baby to realize that you shouldn’t get behind the wheel wasted. Just look at your family and loved ones and think how much it would hurt if you lost them to a drunk driver.

I wonder who the next DUI celebrity will be. Hopefully the only damage they’ll do will be to their career.

This news is a little old, the quote came out earlier in the week, but I’m just hearing it now.

Nicole Richie is shown at the Cartier Love Bracelet Launch on 6/18/08, thanks to Adriana M. Barraza for WENN.

Stone Temple Pilots singer Scott Weiland has been sentenced for his DUI incident on November 21st 2007, to 192 hours in prison, which is about 8 days.

Weiland, 40, entered a plea of no contest, the functional equivalent of a guilty plea in California, to a single misdemeanour count of driving under the influence of alcohol - his second DUI conviction in nearly four years.

The plea, stemming from his November 21 arrest following a traffic collision on a ramp to a Los Angeles freeway, was entered by Weiland’s lawyer on his behalf.

Weiland was also placed on four years’ unsupervised probation, ordered to enrol in an 18-month alcohol program and fined roughly $US1600, City Attorney’s Office spokesman Frank Mateljan said.

Weiland last month pleaded innocent to a charge of driving under the influence of drugs. Prosecutors did not make clear why the nature of the offence was changed in the final plea.

stuff.co.nz

Scott actually seems to have larger problems than simple drug and alcohol abuse issues. He has been in rehab in 1999, under a program where you can avoid a jail term in California by spending the sentence in rehab. He didn’t succeed, overdosing on heroin and being sent to jail by a judge trying to “show that this will not be tolerated…[and] to help him make up his mind to stop killing himself.” Scott’s brother Michael died of a drug overdose, and he needs to take care that something similar doesn’t happen to him.

Scott is bi-polar and says he doesn’t take his medication, resulting in manic and depressive episodes.

Scott will probably serve his sentence before the 28th of May, as his newly reformed band Stone Temple Pilots begin touring on May 17th. In is in his best interests to carry on with the tour – Velvet Revolver kicked him out of the band (check out his blog for the rant he goes into about that incident here)because of his erratic behavior, and those $40,000 bail fees aren’t going to pay for themselves.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Scot Weiland is shown looking rough at the All-Star Gala benefiting the AROD Family Foundation on 1/19/08, thanks to Splash News.

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Angie Everhart, 38, was inexplicably engaged to pint-sized actor Joe Pesci, 65, last summer. The unlikely pair have since split, with The National Enquirer reporting that Pesci dumped Everhart and is now dating a 42 year-old woman who owns a flower shop in West Hollywood and drives a Maserati.

Maybe Everhart is broken up over it. She’s definitely not being careful about calling a friend or getting a cab when she’s drunk. The 5′10″ model was busted for DUI last Thursday, according to TMZ, and is out on $15,000 bail. She has a court appearance scheduled for May 15.

Getting a DUI seems to be the only way for some of these lesser-known celebrities and models to get press, so maybe we should stop reporting the news. The ability to get free publicity for bad behavior is certainly not limited to the younger set.

Joe Pesci and Angie Everhart his new girlfriend are shown outside a medical building on 4/8/08. The photo agency, WENN, credited these photos as being of Everhart but commenters are pointing out that it doesn’t look like her. He sure has a type, though. Angie Everhart is shown on 1/16/08 at the Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational.

Sandra Bullock and her husband, Monster Garage host Jesse James, were in a head-on collision in Gloucester, Massachusetts on Friday. A member of Bullock’s security team was driving a rented SUV near the East Gloucester Square Laundry when 64-year-old Lucille Gatchell – who was drunk of her ass - crossed lanes in her a Subaru wagon and veered into oncoming traffic. She slammed her car head first into Bullock and James’ SUV. Luckily they were only doing about 15-20 mph at the time, and walked away unhurt.

Gloucester - The alleged drunken driver involved in a head-on collision with an SUV carrying actress Sandra Bullock failed four field sobriety tests and had a blood-alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit, police said. The accident brought gawkers with flash cameras into the streets of Gloucester and prompted global headlines. Many expressed relief that the sweetheart actress avoided injury in the ugly episode.

“Her eyes were bloodshot and glassy. Her speech was extremely slurred as she spoke.” Hussey [Bullock’s driver] “was trying to avoid her car, but it was in his lane,” Mackey said yesterday. During sobriety tests, Gatchell nearly fell over three times while trying to walk nine steps and turn, the report states. A Breathalyzer test recorded Gatchell’s blood-alcohol level as .20, more than twice the legal limit of .08, the report states.

“After I arrested her, I had her in the cruiser,” said Mackey. “I said, ‘Do you realize who you hit? She asked, ‘Who?’ I said, ‘Sandra Bullock.’ She was almost giggling and laughing. She said, ‘My first drunk driving and I hit Sandra Bullock.’

[From the Boston Herald]

What a jackass thing to say. And do. Unfortunately Ms. Gatchell was released on her own recognizance from jail. The police officer interviewed by the Herald noted that Sandra seemed very concerned for the drunken woman who could have killed her – even though Ms. Gatchell seemed to find the whole situation pretty damn funny.

“She was very concerned about the lady in the other car. She said, ‘Is she OK? Is she OK?’ ” said Mackey. “After I arrested (Gatchell), I walked past Miss Bullock. She felt bad. You could tell by the look on her face.”

[From the Boston Herald]

I’m so disgusted by that woman’s response I can’t even come up with anything decent to say. It’s probably due to the state of massive inebriation, but since Lucille Gatchell chose to drink she’s responsible for everything she does and says thereafter. Obviously the accident could have been much worse, and it’s very lucky that everyone in Sandra Bullock’s vehicle came out unscathed. Hopefully Ms. Gatchell will choose to make better decisions in the future.

Here’s Lucile Gatchell, who was charged with operating under the influence and marked lane violations. Header of Sandra between scenes while filming ‘The Proposal’ in Rockport, MA on April 10th. Images thanks to Splash.

Police have recommended to prosecutors that they charge Richie Sambora with a DUI and child endangerment stemming from his arrest in March. The Bon Jovi guitarist was pulled over after cops spotted his Hummer driving erratically in Laguna Beach. Sambora’s girlfriend Jenn Mallini was in the car along with his daughter, Ava, 10 and her teenage cousin. He may serve jail time.

Police have recommended to prosecutors that Richie Sambora be charged with DUI and child endangerment – both as misdemeanors – stemming from his March 25 arrest, says a source close to the case. Last week, Laguna Beach Police handed over the case to the Orange County Calif. District Attorney’s Office, which has not announced any formal charges yet.

“Because the case is under review, I can’t discuss the details,” DA spokeswoman Farrah Emami told PEOPLE. “Ultimately, we have to base our decision on the available evidence.” If Sambora is formally charged with both misdemeanors, a jail sentence is likely, legal experts say. “Assuming Sambora was driving with over a .08 blood-alcohol level with a passenger under 14 in the car, he’s looking at probable jail time,” says veteran DUI lawyer Lawrence Taylor, who’s not involved with the case. “But it’s possible this can be plea bargained to a lesser offense, and/or he could get rehab in lieu of jail.”

[From People]

People notes that Sambora’s had a pretty hard last few years – not that it in any way excuses his behavior. He divorced Heather Locklear – Ava’s mom – his father died of lung cancer, he went into rehab – which clearly wasn’t successful – and supposedly Locklear has been suicidal recently (depending on who you believe), which has further concerned Sambora. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten his butt back in rehab, if for no other reason than to help his public image. Bon Jovi performed in Las Vegas this weekend, where Sambora was on his best behavior and only drank water. Hopefully he’s working hard on his sobriety right now.

Here’s Richie Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi speaking during the 2008 ASCAP “I Create Music” Expo at the Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood, CA on April 10, 2008. Images thanks to Splash.

Paris and Nicky Hilton’s little bro, Barron, was sentenced today for his Feb. 12 DUI arrest. The teen faces a suspended license for a full year, as well as probation. Which is more than Mischa Barton got for driving without a license, DUI and possession of a narcotic.

Barron Hilton pleaded no contest to DUI charges Wednesday in a Malibu, California, courthouse.

His license was suspended for a year, and he was placed on three years’ probation. He must also attend a three-month alcohol program.

In addition, Hilton, 18, is required to visit a Los Angeles County morgue and attend a lecture given by Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Celebtv.com reports.

The younger brother of Paris Hilton was arrested February 12 for having a blood alcohol level of .14 — nearly twice the legal limit — unlawful use of a license and driving without a license.

[From Us Weekly]

I’m glad that this kid is being held accountable for his actions. Hopefully he will take it more seriously than his older sister did the first time around and keep himself out of trouble. It seems like his parents were a lot less accommodating to Barron than they were with Paris after her arrest- it’s reported that when Barron was arrested, his parents let him wait it out a while in the holding cell before bailing him out- and that Paris outright refused to bail him out.

Former ‘OC’ actress Mischa Barton, who hasn’t had much of a career since being killed off that show, is supposed to be entering a plea agreement for her DUI bust last year. Barton was stopped last December for suspicion of DUI and the cops also found marijuana on her. Because, why just drink and drive like all those other Hollywood starlets, when you can drink, get stoned and drive?

“O.C.” wanna been Mischa Barton has decided to take a plea bargain in her DUI case — clever girl that one.

A source tells TMZ that at her court date on Thursday she’ll plead no contest to the DUI charge. In exchange, the marijuana charge will be dropped and the driving without a license rap will be reduced to an infraction.

Greasy’s ex-GF will then have to serve three years of unsupervised probation, attend an alcohol education class and pay a fine.

A source tells us this is “fairly standard” for a first-time offender like Miss Mischa, who was arrested last December, adding that she’s “learned her lesson.

[From TMZ]

“Fairly standard,” my ass! Maybe it’s “fairly standard” for Hollywood starlets, but if Mischa had been driving anywhere else in the country, she would be wearing an orange jumpsuit right now. Which might be an improvement over her regular attire. This girl is absolutely useless in my opinion- a shitty actress, not all that pretty and a horrible dresser — and that was before I remembered she actually used to date Brandon Davis. And don’t even get me started on her last ex, Cisco “Bocce Balls” Adler. As for learning her lesson, my guess is that Mischa learned the following lesson: she is not famous or talented enough to turn a DUI bust into a career boost. If it didn’t work for Lohan, it definitely will not work for her.

Mischa Barton is shown after lunch at La Scala on 3/28/08 wearing shorts and a “Bite Butts” t-shirt, thanks to Splash News.